I wasn’t overly thrilled at the prospect of returning to this place, but the attractive looking Vekoma STC had definitely caught my attention, as much for the ride interaction as well as the relative uniqueness of the ride type so far. We had struggled to make even a morning out of Tripsdrill 5 years ago with mediocre rides and poor weather, so hopefully another couple of attractions and some sunshine could tip the scales in their favour.
Day 3 – Tripsdrill
They weren’t staggering openings as much as previously so the morning began straight away on the newness. It looks like they’ve got great plans for the station next year but at the moment it’s quite amusing to see no roof, bare concrete and a temporary shed for ops as though they literally got to 5pm on the 25th June, told contractors to down tools and leave on the spot. That’ll do lads.
#1 Hals-über-Kopf
It has a cool name and a cool ride. The trains with their backpack theming are great to both look at and sit in. It rides super smooth and can be forceful in some of the turns.
It didn’t quite deliver what I was expecting though. Foolishly I think I was after something a little more than the ‘family thrill’ that seems to do so well for the park. The ride lacked a certain spark that I can’t quite put my finger on and nothing more seemed to be brought to the table over the bigger SFC layout other than some inversions which are fine at best, if a little repetitive. I appreciate the fact that they chucked in some attempts at airtime hills to break the flow, even if they weren’t particularly prominent. I’d probably just put it as the best coaster in the park, but that’s faint praise.
#2 Volldampf
The other Vekoma is pretty much finished, other than the end spike which will eventually burst through the other station nicely.
Again I like the train & station details and overall look of this one. The Junior Boomerang layout being much more linear and packed with hills is a welcome change to the usual compact turns and I’d say that makes it a little stronger than others of its type.
Once we had soaked up enough of the new area, it was time to revisit the rest of the park.
G’sengte Sau
The Gerstlauer Bobsled seemed to ride a little better than previous experiences, making the airtime hill section a bit more potent. Love how overgrown this has gotten now and that you can’t even see the track from most angles, it’s becoming a part of nature.
Mammut
I think I like this woodie a little more than most. Sure it’s underwhelming, but not to the point of being uninteresting. It bounces around with a certain charm and has some decent twisty moments.
Karacho
Their Gerstlauer Infinity was exactly the same as I remembered it, 900 creds ago – not very good. It doesn’t ride with the relative grace of newer infinities and the whole layout seems a bit haphazard – a block section killing the speed directly before the only real airtime moment wasn’t the best of ideas.
All the water rides were closed last time so it was nice to try Waschzuber Rafting. The queue is massive and contains a museum about the history of washing clothes, so that’s something. As a ride it was on the timid end of the spectrum.
Also new to me was Badewannen-Fahrt, the infamous log flume themed to baths. This was great fun. Dark ride sections, a surprise backwards drop and novelty boats – it had it all.
We went back for a couple more laps on the new boy, where I ran into my familiar old bugbear of inconsistent staff rules about glasses. Suddenly someone had decided that it was strictly not allowed and though I politely mentioned that I had been riding fine with them all morning, they got unnecessarily aggressive about it. For someone with a cred tattooed on their arm you’d think they’d be a little more forgiving.
To lighten the mood we tried to recreate our favourite memory from the previous visit – sitting in a quaint little café having a nice toasted sandwich. Unfortunately it was swarming with wasps, there was nowhere to sit, further staff continued to be unfriendly and the takeaway equivalent of the food was terrible.
Well, that’s enough of that then. What else have we got around here?
Schwaben Park
Another revisit with another 2 new creds. With all the other land clearing and construction we had seen a lifetime ago at the far end of the park I didn’t expect both of them to have been stuck out in front of the car park with Force One. It’s eye-catching, I’ll give it that.
#3 Wilde Hilde
Tried the obscure RES Roller Ball first. Although no flipping is involved, watching it from off-ride it looked rather vicious in the way that it was rocking back and forth, throwing people around so I was actually quite nervous going up the lift hill, getting flashbacks to rides like Arashi and Insane which have both tried to kill me in a good and bad way respectively. This was deceptive and unjustified as the ride just doesn’t really do anything. Trims heavily control each stage of the descent, meaning nothing more than a slight jolt downwards every few seconds and it’s all rather awkward as an experience. I left the ride wondering to myself ‘what was the point?’ The chicken song is the most entertaining part – I think it might make the trip playlist.
#4 Hummel Brummel
Another obscure contraption had barely opened before the visit and didn’t even have speakers up yet for the amusing bee soundtrack. They did have time to put some free lockers up front though, to help with the seating and station situation. There doesn’t seem to be enough of them yet, as people were queueing to wait for one to become available, though there was no queue for the actual ride. Spotted a Wiegand guy still on site overseeing the operation and soon we were boarding. With controls like a bobkart it was arm pedal to the metal, but all this led to was a slight breeze in the hair and some corners. There isn’t much going on here and I think even the marketing speaks for itself – there’s a promo picture up everywhere of two kids riding it and they look thoroughly bored. I left the ride wondering to myself ‘what was the point?’
Force One
Oh well, at least I like their old coaster. This hasn’t aged well. It was vibrating rather unceremoniously throughout the layout and subsequently all the life seems to have been sucked out of it. Maybe not then.
A surprise find saved the park. I had spotted what looked like an indoor boat/dark ride on the map and we went to check it out. In this unassuming building lives Azura. The queue was nothing but darkness and a strong smell of gas. Upon boarding, the ride logo is projected onto a waterfall in front of the station. What is this? It’s essentially a warehouse that you slowly drift around in an oval shape. Sounds fun right? Well in the centre of the oval are fountains, lasers and fire effects and they create some pretty mesmerising sequences. A fireball sitting directly on top of a 10ft water jet is not something I expected to see and they have those bouncing water cannons like you put around pathways on Rollercoaster Tycoon, only the jets are lit up, in a curve, from the inside. Sorcery. See I do like some simple things, I guess they just have to be shiny. Never noticed that cat on the far left of the picture in person, so that’s just spooked me out a little. I think we’ll end it there.
On the neighbouring mountain to the previous one is a small park owned by the same people as the big boy Alpine that looked like a bit of fun.
Day 2 – Steinwasen Park
Although the website claimed the rides opened with the park and we were banging on the door at opening o’clock, they ended up starting an hour later so we had time to take in the surroundings.
Inside there’s an Ice Cave walkthrough with a scary looking seal.
And a man milking a horse?
Outside is a humble affair with a few animals, a big bridge and more nice views.
Apparently it can hold 10,000 people, though not in the current climate. It wobbles unnervingly with the wind too.
A queue was forming near the entrance to the rides area and we opted to head to the alpine first as it was likely to get the busiest.
#1 Coasterbahn
2 back to back then. This one had the traditional lift hill that goes on forever. It started as wild as the previous one, with the added bonus of overgrown grass scraping my hands at full throttle but ended up with too many helices of doom.
The water ride nearby looked interesting with its bare metal styling and elevator lift.
Essentially Storm Surge with dignity, it kicked up one hell of a spin and then collided with a wall at full pace, nearly causing a casualty. Good.
In another display of Wiegand’s inventiveness, the summer toboggan cars automatically fold themselves in half here at the bottom of the layout before riding up to the top with a ski lift system.
#2 Gletscherblitz
Back inside there’s a rather unique combo of a duelling Mack powered mine train and Bobkart. One is themed to Yetis, the other themed to space. The mine train had a violent airtime moment upon exiting the station flythrough and I rather enjoyed the interaction between the two rides.
The Bobkart started in strobe lights and ended in concrete walls, with the layout being both entertaining and unrestricted.
Having finished everything of interest it was off to the next park on the itinerary.
Tatzmania Löffingen
A zoo with creds.
#3 African Spin
Only the finest too. An SBF spinner with no less than 3 ‘loops’.
#4 Gold Rusher
And slightly more interestingly a Gerstlauer Bobsled. Same layout as the one at Motiongate including a random block section where the indoor portion should have been. Only 2 of this one in the world so far, set complete.
Done. I’m sure it would have been a nice place to stay a little longer but we’re worn out on zoos right now and there were still borders to cross and bigger things to come.
I’ve had my eye on the only park in Switzerland for a while now. My only previous experience with the country was sleeping on the floor of an airport (the bastards) so it was nice to arrive by car instead.
Conny-Land
#5 Cobra
For a nation that’s home to two of the biggest ride manufacturers in the world, getting a Pax was certainly an interesting choice, but I’m not complaining. It’s by far the most well presented of their coasters I’ve come across. I learnt on the spot that NEW FOR 2020! the trains have been replaced with ones made by the people who build butterflies. They’re now comfortable and exposed – the perfect combination.
As the exit shop contains this reaction shot of opening day on the original trains, I’d hazard a guess at the new ones being an improvement.
The backwards lift up a beyond vertical spike is as unnerving as it sounds, relying on raw leg power to keep yourself in the train by the time you reach the top.
Putting shuttle loops to shame, the two airtime hills deliver decently on the outbound trip.
And I actually liked this monstrosity of an element. The loop realises halfway that it needs to change alignment to not crash into itself, jolting riders to the side in amusing fashion and the hang in the tail is pretty glorious. I’d describe Cobra as rugged, not rough and I’m very glad we made the trip to try it. Oh, the new train has some BACKWARDS! seats too. The lift isn’t as good but the rest of it is even better this way.
The craziness doesn’t end there as a strange attraction called the Mammut Tree was beckoning. A 16 seater open cable car that randomly stops, bounces and sways as it traverses a straight line towards this tower. It passes straight through, teases for a while and then gets dragged back inside. The doors close. The deep voiced tree says “HALLO.” Words should not describe the sequence of events that happen next but it’s as one of a kind as Cobra was and I loved it.
They also have a dinosaur shooting dark ride with that cheap Golden Nugget type hardware. For sanitary reasons I ended up playing a game of spotting how many modern screens they have shoehorned in that all play the same animation of a baby dinosaur breaking out of an egg.
There’s a second cred! Wait. Gerstlauer clearly invented these just to annoy us didn’t they.
I didn’t want to leave them but we wanted another country cred before the day was out, with a whirlwind culture cruise through one of those little places beginning with L.
Starting with Liechtenstein cat.
‘Tis a mountainous place.
Looking for a castle, found a church by mistake.
Where the King lives.
And where the King doesn’t live. Also cat #2 in the shadows. I believe they outnumber the human population here.
Austria had been announced as the next no-go destination the previous night so being extra goody two shoes we skirted around it and back through Switzerland (which followed suit the very next week) into Germany’s safe arms again.
You don’t need me to tell you that 2020 sucks, but here’s a brief summary of my first world problems when it comes to enthusing this year.
April 2020 – Booked to go to Poland for the RMC and Hyperion, long overdue, no brainer. Cancelled. June 2020 – Booked to go to the USA for 2 weeks with the intention of riding not just my 1000th coaster but also my 1100th. It was gonna be huge – Cedar Point huge. Before Poland went, the honour would have gone to that weird looking thing, Steel Curtain. After Poland went, it could have been epic – a trimless Voyage @ Holiwood Nights epic. Cancelled.
With over 6 months of no progress at all I started hitting the local +1s to tide the count over but although a good laugh it’s just not the same as doing something… good. At least one of those trips I mentioned above is accessible by road right? It was time to act and I booked a slot on the Channel tunnel. As the trip grew nearer the itinerary remained completely fluid and with good reason. Countries started closing left, right and centre.
Eurodemption was born. An adventure of both obscurity and basicness-ity. Plus the usual insanity.
Day 1 – Hasenhorn Rodelbahn
We had originally wanted to tick off Fraispertuis City on the way down but as of one week before, France was no longer an option – cancel the hotel in a vineyard. A brief 7 hour drive and no mingling later we crossed the Rhône/Rhine/Rhein into the bottom left corner of Germany. Even with getting up at 2am there wasn’t much of a day left so there was only really one thing on the cards and that was this.
In a small village nestled between two mountains lies an Alpine coaster that’s longer than Steel Dragon. It’s an unfortunate fact to learn but hey, +1.
To get to the top there’s a ticket window and a ski lift. One of the unnerving kinds that crashes into you from behind and you don’t even have to pull the bar down to stop you from falling out.
Apparently there was a 90 minute queue – what, for this? – but there was nothing else to do and it had been oh so long to get to this point.
It ended up around half that time once up the top, getting sunburnt on a mountain, just like old times. My body has forgotten what real Vitamin D feels like.
#1 Hasenhorn Coaster
It was long. Really long. So long that it started to give me a bad back, turning me into an old man all of a sudden. I’ve never ridden one quite as wild before either. Many sections of straight bumps and hills that you surely can’t take at full speed.
I know there’s upstops on these (you can see underneath them on this clever system that also ski lifts the cars to the top, I believe this is called a nerd shot) but the mortal peril is ever present. The way the track seems arbritrarily chucked together and stacked up on loose pebbles. It’s thrilling pushing it past the edge of what feels comfortable. Almost exhausting.
Good view too.
That was the day really. Stayed in a hotel in a corn field and started drawing up plans for the next day. All on the fly, never done it this way before.
Up next – somewhere we’re not allowed to go as I write this.
There wasn’t much of a plan for the main park as we headed in. Still hadn’t quite managed to avoid the full spite of the fateful school visit years ago as Space Mountain was known to be undergoing a bit of an overhaul during the visit, but there were plenty of other exciting things on offer.
The ‘educational’ reason for that school trip was so that we could learn about marketing and product design for theme parks (pretty cool, looking back on it now). Literally everyone else was boring and did Space Mountain with generic space stuff (and no research into the Jules Verne styling) but on park I was much more taken with the aesthetic of Big Thunder and became it’s sole advocate in class.
Big Thunder Mountain
That looks like a ride I can get behind advertising. It still managed to spend most of this visit broken for extended periods of time, so each ride we managed to get felt a little extra special. There’s something rather endearing around breakdowns that attract a crowd of dedicated followers who will camp outside the entrance and wait to be the first back on it and this was a common sight here, with us included of course.
It’s fully justified too, as I cannot fault this attraction. The theming, attention to detail and overall interaction with riders is world class. On top of that, it feels like it goes on forever, with 3 separate lift hills (all painfully loud) and the ride just keeps on giving.
The isolation of the main layout with the surrounding water makes it extra special, with a cool and breezy underwater tunnel trip out of the station at the start. Of course to get back at the end, the train has to navigate another tunnel and this section is the standout part of the ride, gaining speed relentlessly and feeling more and more out of control as it plunges deeper into the dark.
The nearby Phantom Manor is another stunning looking attraction. I particularly like the gardens out towards the side of the building – they’re a dead end and for that reason absolutely no one goes there. It’s a lovely quiet spot to appreciate the surroundings and attention to detail that almost nobody else will see. All the while, the house looms ominously, with spooky shadows catching your eye in the windows. Spine tingling stuff.
The preshow room, story and effects maintain that fear factor before riders board the classic omnimover transit system. A cracking soundtrack and several clever magic tricks throughout help to elevate it well beyond your average dark ride.
Indiana Jones et le Temple du Péril
With my reluctance to ride Rock’n’Rollercoaster back in the day, this one also greatly scared the younger me, imagining it to be some immensely sophisticated ride (I believe it was operating backwards at that time) with it’s terrifying inversions.
Now I know that it’s an Intamin-built Pinfari looper layout all that mystique has faded to nothing and it’s almost annoying to me that it exists in a Disney park at all. I say almost because the theming is still amazing, but the rollercoaster itself? A poor excuse for an attraction.
The other dark ride I had had my eye on forever was Pirates of the Caribbean. The one that was so compelling it inspired a film franchise, rather than the other way around. It didn’t disappoint, with the smooth but breathtaking drop into the darkness kicking off a lengthy and stunning experience of sights, sounds and smells.
In our lack of things to do as well as not knowing what to do, we discovered that we had missed so much the first time around. There’s a massive animatronic dragon under the castle which would have been a great spot to while away a few of the more tedious hours as youngsters.
It’s notorious for being annoying but I actually like ‘its a small world’. It’s a good little sit down.
Casey Jr., Le Petit Train du Cirque
As is the confusingly clever powered coaster. Didn’t know Vekoma made them and didn’t know you could operate more than one train on them simultaneously, assuming the powered rail system was like scalextric track, so I spent most of the time marvelling at those revelations.
Oh, the hours we had spent on this ride. Aside from Phantom Manor, all I had ever done before was Buzz LightyearLaser Blast, though never actually seeming to get any better at the shooting. The main journey to improvement was in waiting for it to pause operation (usually for disabled access or guests causing chaos in the station) in the final boss room to rack up as many points as possible.
As a massive Star Wars fan I was surprised at how underwhelming an attraction Star Tours managed to be. It doesn’t seem to capture any of the magic of the franchise and ends up as a rather unremarkable and outdated simulator ride. I’m struggling to pinpoint why, but I believe my issue lies in the way the storyline pivots around forcing us, the guests, into being part of a more mundane portion of the universe (a tour bus in space), rather than giving us the opportunity to observe something more thrilling or emotionally stirring as a spectator.
There’s a large number of other dark rides in the Fantasyland area of the park, all the Peter Pans, Snow Whites and Cinderellas that are the staple of Disney castle parks. I don’t have much interesting to add about these, just that they benefit the already large stack of compelling attractions and all range from good to great.
As time ran on we found ourselves settling down for the night time show in front of the castle. It was a wonderfully relaxed atmosphere, everyone spread out and chilling on the ground from here and as far back as the entrance in the warm summer evening.
It was an exciting build to a spectacular pay off. The show blends together a projected storyline, the music of the films, fireworks, pyros and everything else into a wonderfully emotional culmination of the days experiences. A masterclass of park entertainment and one of the main reasons Disney parks are so special.
Overall we had a fantastic few days here and I look forward to returning for Space Mountain V3 and whatever else they conjure up in the meantime.
As well as being somewhere we really wanted to get a proper taste of, this was a trip of vengeance. Embarassingly I had been before, back in my school days and had sat out on the only rollercoaster open at the time through fear. Most of the rest of the resort was closed for several days due to poor weather and planning (well it was January) and even the ‘educational’ portions of the school trip had to be called off so it was an utter shambles all round. I didn’t like the evening meals, we stayed in the cheapest of the hotels, the coach journey went on for at least 12 hours in either direction and I’m struggling to remember anything positive about the entire thing.
So let’s do it properly this time.
To fix the coach issue, we flew into Paris and took a shuttle bus from there. Other than Charles de Gaulle airport, which even for a novice was a grim place to be, this was a massive improvement. It was an entertaining bus journey if only for the characters we had around us. Many strange families from weird and wonderful background were obviously extremely excited to find themselves on their way to the park and were displaying this by punching the seats in front of them, making complicated hand signals and exclaiming DISNEYLAND at every opportunity.
To fix the hotel issue, we had a package deal at the New York hotel, with a whole 2 extra stars to it’s name. Not sure where those extra stars went because this wasn’t much better. There were bare live electrical wires protuding from the light fixtures, I managed to break both the hairdryer and the TV (a relic from the 90s) and it generally had a very run down feel about the place.
To fix the weather, it was June. This worked too well and it was too hot – mid 30°Cs and exhausting over the long days.
In we go then.
Walt Disney Studios Park
As this is a two gate resort, having the park hopper tickets is a nice touch, being free to wander between the two at a leisurely pace with no restrictions. The studios is the smaller of the two parks, but it had already expanded quite significantly since the previous visit.
Crush’s Coaster
We had been given the advice that due to capacity reasons, this got the largest queues in the studios so headed straight towards it in the morning. Experiences with Dragon’s Fury back home had led me to believe that Maurer Spinning coasters had a lot of potential and I was excited to see what Disney had done with it. Though the theming, particularly in the station, enhanced the ride greatly, it was noticeably lacking in the thrill department.
Rock’n’Rollercoaster
Time to throw old fears aside and tackle this one head on. I had come a long way in 8 years and had absolutely no apprehensions about a few poxy loops in the dark. The greater apprehension was produced by having to keep a bag about your person while in the train, sat in the floor of the vehicle and wrapped around a leg. The on board speakers for the ride were crackling and stuttering as it launched into the first inversion. All I remember from this point onwards was ‘there goes the bag’ and spending the remainder of the layout hoping it was alright. It’s not a very good attraction these days.
This is though. Tower of Terror is a remarkable experience from start to finish. It kicks off with the atmosphere in the themed indoor lobby and the creepy acting skills of the staff that guide you around. The preshow room that sets the scene in Twilight Zone fashion is hugely entertaining and the area beyond that houses the elevators is breathtaking to behold. Every time we came to the batch point for these, the same comedy occurred in which the member of staff would ask for a specific number of guests, the group at the front of the queue would say they were a completely different number of guests and then be waved through regardless. “I’m looking for a 2.” “We’re a 6.” “Come on through!” Genius.
The most important part is the ride of course and it’s simply magnificent. With nothing but a simple seatbelt holding you in, bags loose again on the floor, the sheer exhilaration of the elevator movement as it launches from top to bottom and everywhere in between is completely addictive. The lurch in the drops was often strong enough to bring the unguarded bags up to eye level, so you can imagine the kind of impact that has on the riders.
The studio tram tour was one of the few things I had actually done before. It’s a classic attraction, travelling around movie sets and culminating in a scene of impressive special effects.
RC Racer
One of my earliest encounters with the deep philosophical question – is this a cred? It’s powered at the bottom of the dip during each passing of the station, but beyond a certain point at each tail of the U it begins to coast under it’s own momentum. I’ve managed to stretch to a yes, but it’s not very good.
I was much more interested to try the trackless dark ride based on one of my favourite animated films, Ratatouille, but sadly I was a little underwhelmed by this attraction. The movement of the vehicles was clever and refreshing, but it relied quite heavily on screens for the action sequences and things just didn’t seem to flow very well. I didn’t really feel like part of it and because the storyline is already nicely concluded at this point, the new narrative seemed to lack any of the emotion of the movie (or sense) and I didn’t fall for it.
To fix the food issue outside the park, we had lunch at the Earl of Sandwich and it was amazing. After 355 years he really has perfected the art of making them. Our half board meal tickets ended up taking us to Annette’s diner for our evening eats and this was just pathetic in comparison. I don’t think I’ve ever been more insulted in a restaurant than the moment the ‘main course’ Caeser salad was placed in front of me.
The conclusion was that there is still a very limited selection of attractions in the studios and Tower of Terror was the clear standount – a reason to visit all on its own and the only real reason to stick around for a while. I hope that they manage to integrate even more rides into this area in future to balance it better against the main park, which is where we shall head for the next part.
I made the bold statement in the about section of this website about how this ride changed my life, so I thought I had better back that up with some reasons.
Situated in Universal Studios Singapore, Revenge of the Mummy is an indoor coaster built by Premier Rides and themed to the hilt by Universal themselves. To this day it remains, for me, the finest demonstration in the world as to how to combine the thrilling hardware of a rollercoaster with the awesome spectacle of a dark ride. These are the two types of attractions that really get me going in parks and I really wish that more places would attempt something of this magnitude again.
The area of the park that houses the ride isn’t big (the park isn’t either), but it has a wonderful aesthetic to it. The cheery Egyptian style environmental music quickly works its way into the ears and draws you in as you approach from any angle, the scenery looks great and the whole vibe suits the burning Singapore heat perfectly.
As soon as you enter the queue, everything changes. The temperature drops a good 20°C, shadows dance across the walls through the sudden gloom, the music is replaced by eerie noises and whisperings and the bustle and excitement of the park outside is instantly shielded. Only a foreboding dread remains. For that single moment of transformation, this is easily my favourite queue in the world.
I’ve been lucky enough to visit on several occasions when the ride has been extremely quiet and so taking the opportunity to wander alone through the actual labyrinth of pathways (the main queue, single rider and fasttrack all dip in and out of each other at various points) is totally mesmerising. I could get lost in here and not even board the ride, but still be happy about it. An unfathomably vast statue lies within the centre of the various staircases that lead up to the station and you can never quite see all of it. It’s not in your face like some of the perhaps better queueline scenery out there, but it looms impressively nonetheless.
As we enter the batch point of the dual station I have to mention how much I love the staff uniforms throughout the ride. They’re all dressed up and looking gorgeous in their desert rags and I’m a huge fan of little immersive details like this.
The trains leave a little to be desired in their restraint design with a slightly obstructive ‘shin bar’ on longer legs but the lap bar itself is just what we needed. If both sides of the station are operating simultaneously you can often get a fun moment of two cars dispatching at the same time, heading towards each other, the point at which the tracks merge and playing a game of chicken, with one stopping suddenly at the last second to every rider’s delight. I love it when ride hardware has a bit of a character building moment for itself, I get the feeling that it’s toying with me and that’s exactly what I want it to do.
‘The boooook… find the boooook’, the creepy whispers bounce off the walls as you progress around the first couple of turns and truly leave civilisation behind. Just thinking about this moment and these sounds chills me to the bone. Perfectly complimenting the earlier feeling of entering the queueline, this time strapped in with no escape, it’s the most beautifully atmospheric moment I’ve ever experienced on a ride.
With desperation in his voice, the explorer demands that we find this book and kill Imhotep just as the nightmarish Mummy animatronic reveals himself and shuts him up with a pop of magic. Our souls will be his for all eternity… eternity… eternity… the whispering echoes return, each one getting deeper and more devilish in tone.
The following is the most breathtaking scene, a twisted face appears on a huge screen up front and threateningly requests that we serve him and enjoy the riches that fill the room around us, lighting up in tempting response. If we refuse? BAM! Mummies popping up on all sides, water effects, fire effects, the whole bloody marvellous package. Through the chaos, the ride speeds up and races towards a door that’s closing down on it from above, with a narrow escape.
If there are other riders on board at this point, then it’s guaranteed that they’re properly losing it around you. The pace of scares becomes relentless as you hit a dead end, the wall breaks and a plague of bugs comes pouring out at you. It’s now hard to distinguish the audio from the genuine terror of guests as the car propels you backwards to supposed safety.
But oh, no, we’ll never find the book now. The room rotates as the train tries to point itself in the right direction again. It lines up, nothing but mist and darkness lie ahead. What’s that terrifying face doing up so high above us? ‘Your souls are MINE!’ The LIM launch kicks in and wrenches you up the hill into the mouth and now the thrills can truly begin. Pure narrative perfection.
The crest of this hill provides the best moment of airtime in the layout and I’ve found it to be the most potent in the back left seat due to the direction of the transition. A dizzying sequence of turns and transitions follow through the dark with the occasional flash of a scary banner lighting the way. As quickly as it all started, the train comes screeching to a halt in a block section. On good days this comes with a brutal braking force that takes the wind from your stomach, and rightly so.
It ain’t just any old block section though. We’ve found the book. And then the room catches fire. Sweet, beautiful, burning fire and the exhilarating feeling of the intense heat lapping at your face. Just before further injury is caused, the train plummets away from this and finds a way to the end brakes. It usually parks directly under a fog machine that keeps on pumping directly into my eyes while waiting for the block section ahead to clear. A wooden casket hangs above the track containing the defeated mummy, who each time makes one of several cool statements like ‘death is only the beginning’ accompanied by the sounds of the box splintering. Why should it be over? We can just do it again and again and again.
And I have. It’s the first theme park attraction I got truly addicted to. Of course I greatly enjoyed a wide variety of rides back in the UK before this moment (this was my first proper theme park visit outside of the country), but they never had me marching straight back around like a man possessed, a singular thought in my mind – ‘more!’ The sudden knowledge that something at a theme park can be THIS good is what really knocked me sideways and from that moment on I knew I had to kick this hobby up several gears in order to get out in the world and find ‘more!’ This ride is responsible for reshaping my whole future into a literally life-consuming endeavour.
I imagine I’ve failed to convey the sheer brilliance of this attraction as I’m just waffling away with a bunch of superlatives at this point but that really is how Revenge of the Mummy makes me feel. I’m sitting here in front of a computer screen, buzzing – my heart rate has been elevated by virtue of recounting these memories in my head and I don’t quite know what to do with myself. While I go and calm down, you go and ride it. Deal?
The other park I had allocated to this trip intrigued me. While on the surface it didn’t appear to have a headline European coaster, the website sold it as a wondrous fairytale place full of a great number of fascinating attractions. A more successful train and bus combination soon led us to find that the website was right.
Efteling
Aside from the breathtaking entrance, the first memorable moment of the day involved some French guests arguing with staff at the internal cut off point for those with Exclusive Ride Time – certain tickets allowed you to access select attractions half an hour before the general public and we happened to have these tickets, they did not. After some faff we managed to bypass proceedings and headed to the top right corner of the park where I knew all the biggest thrill attractions were.
It was a beautiful but brisk walk through the well kept greenery and scenery as there seemed to be a fair amount of crowding already.
Vliegende Hollander
Without hesitation, it was straight into the queue for the Kumbak water coaster, except to call it that is a total injustice. Although it has status as a rollercoaster, it has one of the most intensely themed dark ride sections out there and this forms almost all of the appeal that surrounds the attraction. To begin with, I didn’t know that queues could be this intricately detailed, stumbling through narrow corridors of pirates and pubs. I have to mention now that a significant part of what makes Efteling so special is the ride soundtracks, each one lovingly composed to suit an attraction perfectly and become an instant classic for anyone who appreciates park music. The audio used around Vliegende Hollander is an excellent example of this.
Once on board, the boat leaves the station and heads off into the misty darkness, in which you can see nothing but the lamp hanging at the front. It’s a mesmerisingly magical start to proceedings that is backed up by impressive water projections and other surprises along the way. Eventually it is time to ascend the lift hill and head out into the coaster portion of the layout which, with the large and lumbering vehicles, really leaves a lot to be desired. It goes through the motions to finish the experience with an outdoor splashdown, something that I find breaks the whole concept of the ride and it’s a shame, because at least half of it is world class.
Joris en der Draak
With experience in wooden coasters limited to fossils found in the UK, this duelling GCI woodie was by far the most dynamic and exhilarating of it’s type and shed new light to me on the potential of modern installations. The relentless onslaught of twists, turns and hills combined with the continuous raw rumble of the material upon which the trains ride had me hooked.
And that’s without mentioning the theming. A huge dragon animatronic resides within the layout, breathing fire at every opportunity. Water effects punctuate the track sections out by the lake and the station contains active banners that furl and unfurl above riders heads depending on which train won the race, accompanied by cheers or jeers from the audio system. Again, Joris has a fantastic soundtrack that really inspires the theme of racing and/or battle and it’s great to sing it aloud mid ride while egging your train on for the win.
Python
The last coaster in the section sadly doesn’t quite live up to the others. An old Vekoma looper with no theme or inspiration, it sticks out as a bit of a relic from a previous generation of rides. While not as rough as the Vekomas I suffered back at Walibi, the layout of two loops and two corkscrews provides very little to get enthusiastic about.
Heading back in the direction of the park entrance, we tried the rapids ride next. An amusing animation was playing on screens in the queue that was supposed to discourage guests from standing up during the ride, showing that they would obviously tumble headfirst into the water upon doing so. This meant that the highlight of the ride was a stereotypical local guest, complete with smoking joint loudly declaring ‘ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE’ part way through the layout, standing up and then instantly almost falling out as the boat collided with a wall.
Fata Morgana is a mesmerisingly well themed boat ride, depicting scenes from 1001 Arabian Nights and, of course, complete with an amazing soundtrack. I loved everything about it.
Bob
Something I didn’t love however was the Intamin Bobsled. The pace of the ride was consistently interrupted by the car colliding with block brake sections at 45° angles with a jarring force and because of this it never did anything remotely interesting.
Hidden away in the forest nearby is Spookslot, an unusual attraction that involves a single scene of animatronics that slowly build in activity to the tune of Danse Macabre. It went on a bit and never got particularly impressive, but I like the tune and the attempt.
Further into the forest is Pandadroom, a wonderfully imaginative 4D cinema experience that both entertains and educates about the conservation of animal habitats. The soundtrack again is amazing and is often emotionally stirring to me.
After a spot of lunch using the dining vouchers that came with our entrance ticket package (a great concept), we let the food settle while riding the flying island. I had never seen one of these before and they look rather surreal with that hefty arm holding up all that weight by means of a single pivot.
I’m sure the B&M dive coaster being constructed here will only enhance the already incredible lineup Efteling has to offer.
Vogel Rok
But until that’s open, the final rollercoaster of the park resides within this building. There’s a fantastic effect in the station while queueing, through which shadows dance across the walls and the sounds of a giant eagle flapping it’s wings resonate throughout the area, building the tension very well. The ride itself is a blast, adventurous theme music plays loudly through onboard speakers as it climbs through the darkness and then enters a series of disorientating drops and turns that all seem way faster than they probably are and the result is thrilling and fun. Best Vekoma of the trip.
Another Vekoma mad house ride lurks within the ominous Villa Volta. Again the preshows were lost in translation (and particularly lengthy in this case) and though the ride sequence music might just be able to rival Hex, they seem to have entirely missed the point of the hardware swinging action building to a climax, with nothing but a checkered floor to show for it.
But perhaps the best dark ride yet was still to come in the form of Droomvlucht. Suspended trains take you up and down through spirals packed with beautiful fairytale scenes and, as you might have guessed, the music suits it perfectly.
Time was actually running on at this point and I had slightly underestimated both the busyness of the park and the amount of attractions worth doing. There was still the massive fairytale forest walkthrough area of the park to see and the last timeslot of the show Raveleijn had already run past. We opted to save both of these for another time and instead take it easy, using our food voucher for hot drinks and cake (the concept just got even better) before taking in some rerides.
An already fantastic day was rounded off in spectacular fashion with the closing show set around the lake near the entrance. All the familiar and wonderful soundtracks from rides throughout the day are used here in conjunction with the water and fire effects and I’m a massive fan of this type of orchestrated culmination in a park experience. It gets me right in the feels.
Before a sad departure, the CD containing all the ride music was of course purchased from the gift shop. It will undoubtedly become a very treasured possession from this absolutely outstanding theme park.
With large portions of this trip being dedicated to sightseeing around major city areas such as Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Brussels I opted not to hire a car at any point and instead attempt everything by public transport, a habit I would quickly drop in future.
The train journey out to Harderwijk was interrupted by an unexpected line closure that resulted in a replacement bus service for a significant portion of the journey, followed by yet another bus that still left an exhausting walk with luggage over cobblestones to our hotel in the quaint inner town area.
Buses were becoming the bane of my life by the next morning, with the shuttle to the park taking what felt like an eternity while I gazed through the trees, eager for my first glimpse of an Intamin mega coaster – it’s surprisingly well hidden.
Walibi Holland
We finally entered the park with the least visually aesthetic mascot in the world and headed straight down the central plaza, opting to head right at the end for no particular reason.
This meant that the first attraction of the day became Merlin’s Magic Castle, a Vekoma mad house. Experiencing Hex at Alton Towers will always set expectations rather high for other iterations of this ride type and of course the driving factor in that is the storytelling, so we’re instantly put at a disadvantage here with the preshow being lost in translation. You can tell it doesn’t have the atmosphere of a genuinely ancient building and backdrop but the ride sequence itself was rather entertaining with seemingly random magic and a lot of shouting.
Robin Hood
Sharing the same area of the park is this Vekoma woodie and the speakers outside it generated a seemingly unfathomable mystery. They were playing a piece of music that we instantly recognised from an online game (the same game that I actually met my partner). The game is Chinese in origin and we had assumed that the music had been composed specifically for it, so were very surprised to hear it in such a setting. This either means that the music has origins elsewhere or that whoever was running the sound system at the time knows the game.
Enough distraction, how was the ride? Not great. The lap bar restraints are unusually restrictive in their positioning and the layout itself had very little to offer in terms of significant moments. It just sort of happened around me.
Goliath
Following that disappointment I decided to head straight round to the dead end at the opposite side of the park that contained the very reason we had come here. Heralded as one of the finest coasters in Europe I was obviously very keen to experience this Intamin first hand.
And it was like nothing I had ever experienced before. With a background in only UK coasters, my perspective on the word airtime was instantly changed forever. This ride was doing things to me that I had never felt before as it took the first drop and crested each subsequent hill, I was being launched out of my seat and into the restraint and there was this wonderful lurching sensation of fear in my stomach as it did so. It was totally addictive and Goliath became an instant favourite. Future note:sadly in my continuous pursuit of the hobby, I have managed to almost immunise myself against the effect of the sensation described above. While airtime still remains the most enjoyable aspect of any ride for me, that more basal or instinctive physical thrill that it once provided is now a distant memory that never made it out of 2015. These days I get jealous if I’m in a car that goes over a steeply humped bridge and someone else remarks that it made them feel something strange. Depressing, isn’t it.
El Condor
As we alternative between positivity and negativity, this was probably the worst rollercoaster I have ever ridden. The Vekoma SLC is notorious for combining a rough ride with huge, stiff restraints that are perfectly positioned to bash your ears off and punch you repeatedly in the head. This was the very first installation of such a ride and it was nothing short of awful.
To recover from that, we took a spin on the rapids, which mainly gave me anxiety from watching the other guests in our boat decide to wash their hands in the water, between the physical gaps across each section of seats, gaps that flex and close and could easily have caused injury.
To calm down further, Ferris Wheel. You have to cross this central area of the park many times to navigate around the place and it stood out as always playing the same song throughout the whole day – Uptown Funk. A song I will forever associate with this park, for better or worse.
From the height of the wheel, I spotted the next target. Can Vekoma turn it around at any point today?
X-press: Platform 13
Well I wouldn’t put it down to the hardware at all, but I did enjoy it. The queue is essentially a horror walkthrough with several effective scare moments related to underground trains and stations. The airgates leave you ominously unaware of what lies beyond and build the tension rather nicely before boarding the coaster. The layout is actually an outdoor clone of the famous Rock’n’Rollercoaster at Disney parks, something I was yet to ride due to being a weak minded fool in my younger days. It didn’t inspire me with much enthusiasm for riding those in the future, suffering from similar tracking issues and poor restraints that were becoming the order of the day. The special effect on the final brake run was a fantastic moment that may have just made up for it again.
Speed of Sound
Let’s get the last of the Vekomas out of the way then. The other universally hated and far too common layout known as the Boomerang. In what was meant to be considered a clever use of space by designers, it uses the shuttle aspect of going both forwards and backwards to make 6 on-ride inversions out of three physical track pieces. I wasn’t prepared for how the backwards half would ride and so it rewarded this by repeatedly bashing the back of my head against the seat. What am I getting myself in for?
Drako
The final coaster of the day was much more acceptable – a tame Zierer Tivoli designed for smaller children. What am I getting myself in for?
The final ride of note was the park’s log flume, which confused me upon passing, seeing that some guests were deciding to sit facing backwards up the first lift hill. ‘Is this really allowed?’ I thought. It turns out yes, as there’s a couple of hidden turntables in there, making the second drop traditionally backwards and so if that bit can be, why not the rest of it? This feature was a pleasant surprise and made it better than your average log flume.
Now that a fair assessment of the park as a whole was complete, it was time to get as much as possible out of Goliath for the day. I finally understood what these coaster marathons were all about and it was glorious.
It saved the park really, as I wasn’t particularly fond of any of their other attractions. While it was a nice enough place to be, it definitely needed that something special to make it a worthwhile visit overall.
I remember my first visit to Southend a whole decade ago and I wasn’t too impressed. None of the rides were much cop and the whole experience was a bit bland when compared to the Merlin parks I was frequenting. So I hadn’t been back in what felt like forever and in that time they’d only really added their smallest coaster yet and I was expecting this trip to be nothing more than a token cred hunt.
So how come Adventure Island just became one of my favourite parks in the UK?
Adventure Island
The most significant factor was just how friendly all of the staff were. It was a freezing but bright day at the very end of the season with minimal guests on park and you’d think most people would have given up caring at this stage. From the point of collecting our wristbands and then on to each and every ride operator and attendant in the park, they were all putting their time and effort into making their guests both happy and comfortable, something I have gained a much greater respect for over time.
The star attraction Rage isn’t actually all that bad (glowing praise indeed). For a clunky Gerstlauer Eurofighter it was behaving rather well and I ended up taking an unprecedented amount of laps on it, using the time to appreciate the more endearing features it has to offer.
The pace of the loop is the best of these, providing a satisfying pause at the very top with a little flop into the restraint to break the flow of positive force. Aside from that I was finding it rather intense throughout, in a good way.
Something I never would have appreciated the first time round is the fact that Green Scream isn’t one of the prolific Zierer Tivoli clones found around the world. Again I’m stretching for praise here, but it put me in a good mood and it really was a day of the little things.
The Spooksville dark ride has had an overhaul since I last experienced it, with a total change in interior theming. I had enjoyed the quirky fake ending of the previous iteration for the scare factor, something this update lacked, but it was still amusing.
Why have one custom Zierer Tivoli when you can have two? Barnstormer is smaller but potentially packs more of a punch.
With the rate I get through uninteresting rides, there should have been no reason to enjoy the neighbouring Pinfari, Mighty Mini Mega, but again a little staff interaction goes a long way into bringing out the best of things.
#1 Kiddi Koasta
Enough of these token rerides, it was on to the main event. It’s only a Zamperla speedy coaster but a +1 makes a visit worthwhile all by itself.
I had no idea this existed and upon seeing that it looked like a dark ride I could get behind, we decided to give Adventureville a spin. It has one of those stupidly catchy soundtracks and is packed full of mischievous little bear characters up to all types of antics. To top it off, after the first vanilla lap the train goes round a second time in ‘party mode’, the music and lighting changes and you get double the fun out of the tiny footprint. Genius.
I had been asked several times by staff during the day as to whether I had tried ‘the new one’ yet. Again I didn’t know this was a thing and even though it’s not really my cup of tea, after so many friendly recommendations I figured it would be rude not to give it a go. Axis is an evil flat ride that leaves you suspended upside down far more than I would deem necessary, but I still managed to have a good time on it. There’s something satisfying about the visuals of more mundane surroundings (such as Southend town) with the sky at your feet.
To my own amazement we lasted a full day here just chilling (in more ways than one) and riding, much longer than I ever had previously and it was highly enjoyable. My own perspectives have changed over the years of course but no queues and a relaxed atmosphere can go a long way, two things I don’t think I’ll ever find at a Merlin park again.
For the next portion of the trip we hired a car from an unassuming location in the north of Malmö and took a leisurely drive up the E6 to Gothenburg and little did I know what truly awaited there.
The main reason it was a leisurely drive is the opening hours that Liseberg usually operate under. It’s quite common for the gates to be thrown wide well into the afternoon, as late as 15:00 and this is something I have great respect for. No early morning starts when you’ve just been up til midnight at the previous park. To make up for it, the park is regularly open as late as 23:00 giving plenty of opportunity for night rides, atmosphere and, being another city park, is perfectly set up for locals to casually come and spend an evening full of delights. If I thought living near Tivoli would be life-consuming, then residing in Gothenburg would be absolutely living the dream.
After parking at the hotel, it was a quick and easy ride on the tram to get to the entrance.
Liseberg
There are usually great deals on the park website if you book a visit in advance. I had opted for the 2 day wristband which comes with 3 free timeslotted fastrack tickets for the major attractions of your choice, for both days, so before knowing how good the park was in terms of operations I was already extemely comfortable knowing that there would be ample time to enjoy everything. This was an understatement.
Balder
The visit began with my first experience on an Intamin ‘prefab’ wooden coaster. There are only 4 in the world and Balder is the smallest of these, but that doesn’t hold it back at all. Strangely the station is full of quirky theme tunes such as The Simpsons and the Imperial March from Star Wars. This is topped off by an endearing horn upon dispatch.
The train takes the lift hill with surprising speed and smoothness, builds up some further momentum in the turnaround and then violently hurtles into a deceivingly steep drop for which sitting in the back row is pure carnage. The sole feature that this ride type offers is a bucket load of airtime, packing every opportunity in the layout with hills that kick you well out of the seat. On the first few goes, I found this incredible as it was beyond anything I had experienced before. Over time the method of execution started to become a little jarring. The corners stood out as being very repetitive, purely designed to line you up for the next straight and I soon found myself anticipating each and every moment before it arrived, gradually weakening the impact. Still a fantastic ride, but I’m clearly starting to get fussy.
Kanonen
As though part of a 2 for 1 deal, another Intamin sits just next door, this time in the form of a Hydraulic Launch coaster.
After being told to ‘place your head against the headrest’ by an amusingly nonchalant announcement, the train fires out of the station into a tophat at a slightly underwhelming speed of ~46Mph (compared with the same ride type in the form of something like Stealth, which nearly doubles that and in a shorter amount of time). Crucially though, Kanonen has much more of a layout to offer, so how does this fare?
Unfortunately not well. Something about this train and restraint design, which are generally used to perform record breaking feats, makes each of the comparatively tiny elements here ride with a certain awkwardness. The result isn’t a bad coaster by any means, it just left a lot to be desired.
Also down in this area is the rapids ride, Kållerado. I admire these most when they have both peril and character and this version was done very well. I had a particularly entertaining episode where one of the boats in front of us was stranded, unrelentingly being pushed against a wall by a wave machine and continuously being soaked by a nearby geyser. The boat we were in just decided to go for the overtake and sailed straight past, while the other guests watched helplessly, clearly distressed. I didn’t even know that could happen, but I love it.
It was time to head up towards the hill that spans the western side of the park, an area that was about to become my favourite place on earth.
Lisebergbanen
At the base of this hill is the station for a Zierer/Schwarzkopf/BHS (it’s complicated) family coaster, perhaps the best ‘family coaster’ out there. The operations in themselves are a sight to behold here, as the ride can run up to 5 trains at the same time using a double length station (which is decorated like an actual train station) and various block sections throughout the expansive layout. Once on board, a ridiculous 150ft climb takes you to the top of the hill, before unleashing the potential.
The ride goes on forever, working its way down the hill while interacting with both the landscape and several of the other surrounding rides along the way. With forceful ground hugging turns, sharp changes of direction and significant airtime moments, the lengthy experience is nothing short of incredible.
Helix
Even having had a taste of what this park landscape could provide, nothing could have prepared me for the Mack Launch coaster that sits at the top of the hill. Helix completely redefined the rollercoaster as I know it and instantly became, by far, the best ride I had ever experienced.
The words in a trip report can’t really do it justice, though I did make an attempt to outline the reasons for this claim here.
Nestled between these two masterpieces is Uppswinget, the S&S Screamin’ Swing and this is where the magic happens. It was already one of my favourite flat ride types for the freedom of restraints and sensation of falling out of your seat, but the way this installation swings between Helix and out over the edge of a cliff above the triple spiral of Lisebergbanen, with trains of each ride regularly whizzing past provides nothing short of pure joy for me.
From this very same spot, you can appreciate the height of Atmosfear, the Intamin drop tower. The ride offers unrivalled views of the surrounding city along with a very sustained and satisfying drop sequence.
At the far end of the best hill in the world sits the unassuming Flume Ride. A tranquil series of lifts and meandering sections gradually take you up to the top, passing several other favourites in worryingly close proximity along the way. When the first drop is finally unleashed, it becomes a truly spectacular log flume, kicking you out of your seat not once, not twice, but three times consecutively in an endless barrage of chaos and insanity. The water ride game here is really top notch.
If there’s one criticism I could stretch to for Liseberg it would be the lack of dark rides to round off the otherwise amazing collection of attractions. The only offering is Sagoslottet, a fairy tale castle with suspended flying boat vehicles passing through several well known scenes. Although decent, it doesn’t inspire the desire for multiple laps like most of the rest of the park.
There are two other coasters in the park to keep the younger guests (and me) happy. Rabalder is a Zierer Force Two that sits in the shadows of some of the greatest rides on earth and Stampbanan is a questionably small Preston & Barbieri that blends into it’s area rather nicely.
The queues had been kind to us all day, by means of the highly capable staff and procedures, so the fasttrack tickets I had acquired for free were mostly used out of principle rather than necessity. In the booking process I had used them to secure night rides on the major coasters and as darkness enveloped the park, like Tivoli Gardens, the place really started to feel special.
The night rides were, of course, life changing. The final airtime hill on Helix facing out towards the city will forever remain etched in my mind as one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever encountered. The best part of all? We got to do it all again the following day. I don’t think I could ever tire of Liseberg and due to the raw happiness it instilled in me, I decided it was time to take this hobby a lot further than I had ever anticipated before.
