Australia 01/18 – Dreamworld

Still Day 9


Before I spent time researching the Australian park scene for this trip, the only park I knew of was Dreamworld and the reason I knew of it was because of their Intamin Reverse Freefall Coaster, a coaster type that had always intrigued me. Sadly both the park and that coaster would be disappointments.

Dreamworld’s lineup at the time of visiting was very poor and many areas of the park were either closed off or falling apart.

Me and Heartline couldn’t help but find it funny when comparing what coasters you are presented with first at Dreamworld, when compared to Movie World. In Movie World’s car park you are in the shadow of a stunning hyper coaster and a very pleasing to the eye Intamin hydraulic launch coaster. In Dreamworld’s car park you are slumming it with a Maurer SkyLoop and an Arrow looper.

Thankfully the staff at the entrance were very nice though, offering to print us proper tickets when our phones didn’t want to work with the scanners.

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Mick Doohan’s Motocoaster – How Intamin evolved their Family Launch Coaster model from this hot mess to the awesome Jet Rescue in just over a year amazes me.

After you walk through the queueline full of spider webs and over grown weeds you arrive at the station. In the station the ride staff batch you onto dots on the floor, dots that don’t line up with the air gates or make much sense at all. Then they open the gates and you scramble to get a seat, then as soon as you sit down you regret rushing to get there.

Unlike Jet Rescue just over a year later, Mick Doohan doesn’t use comfy lap bars but instead uses a really overly complicated set up that takes ages to get right. This bit comes down, that bit goes forwards, don’t forget to spin that bit, ah yeah that bit goes sideway, oh and my balls just got crushed.

Then worst of all you are sitting there for what feels like forever, in a tomb of sharp metals and plastics while they spend several years trying to entomb the rest of the train.

Finally you are off and it gets even worse. While travelling around one of the least exciting layouts ever conceived at only 40 mph, somehow it manages to jolt and bounce like nothing else. So imagine what it’s like in your casket of discomfort when suddenly everything’s shaking you to death. Well put it this way, it made a child cry and I think that says more than I ever could.

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Tower of Terror 2 – From 1 disappointing Intamin to another.

So this was the Intamin Reverse Freefall Coaster that I was so excited to try out… Quick try to think of something positive… At least in it’s failings it was funny unlike Mick Doohan… Yeah that will do.

You enter the indoor queue through a funny looking skull and are then in what I imagine 20 years ago was probably a really nicely themed area. But now it’s all fallen apart and is plastered in mostly broken TVs showing music videos from 10 years ago.

Then you’re batched into a preshow area, where no preshow takes place, instead a staff member appears and shouts “make sure you lot check out the X in the gift shop, it’s f**king hilarious”. Before you have time to clarify that statement, the doors open and you’re in the station.

You take your seat, some lighting effects happen and you start accelerating backwards into a tunnel, where you keep accelerating for ages while the air pressure tries to blow your ears out.

Finally you emerge and travel about half way up the tower, get a beautiful view of a half demolished attraction, then you start going down again.

Back into the tunnel and almost as soon as you enter the brakes come on, so you end up crawling and heavily vibrating your way back to the station, which takes forever. Then you overshoot it and have to be manually rolled back in.

Post ride you get into a lift to take you to the gift shop, it appears this lift used to do something but now it does nothing.

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Escape From Madagascar – Easily the worst Vekoma Suspended Family Coaster I’ve ever been on. Rough, jolty and not worth it.

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Hot Wheels Sidewinder – Much like Tower of Terror, this Arrow Looper thankfully had some comedy to take your mind off just how bad it is.

The queue was almost parody in how badly it was presented. Dusty models of cars, a wobbly canvas tent, a very small section of vibrating floor for no reason and the smell of sewage.

The coaster itself is full of questionable transitions and violent jolts on straight pieces of track, which I found hilarious.

You can see DC Rivals from the lift too and wonder to yourself why you aren’t riding that instead.

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Buzzsaw – I don’t like SkyLoops and this was easily the worst of the clone ones.

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With everything we wanted ticked off, we went for a walk around the park and if it wasn’t already obvious enough, on this walk it became clear as day that the park is a shadow of it’s former self.

Attractions half demolished, rides standing but not operating, loads of temporary fencing everywhere. It really did look like the park had already admitted defeat and were just waiting for the day they got closed down. The staff too for the most part were just coasting through their day, making as little effort as possible.

It would appear things have taken a positive turn for the park since I visited though, because in 2020 they are opening something very exciting in the form of a brand new Mack shuttle launch coaster. I look forward to getting a 2nd opinion of the park and I’m obviously very excited to try out their new coaster.

Day 10

Today we headed back to Dreamworld to try out their zoo, it wasn’t very good, before going on a drive and ending the day at an observation tower.

Day 11

We told ourselves we wouldn’t drive 70 miles from our hotel to Aussie World to ride a wacky worm but after getting bored yesterday we changed our minds.

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We ended today by raiding the local supermarket and buying as many snacks as we could carry in preparation for China.

Thank you for reading, click here for the next part of this report where I visit my first park in China, Oriental Heritage Xiamen.

Germany 03/16 – Holiday Park
Germany 03/16 – Europa Park

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