Europe 08/20 – Phantasialand + Öcher Bend Funfair

I have a confession to make: I went to Phantasialand. For no reason at all. And it was alright.

The original plan for the day (well, the original original plan was Efteling) was to grab an unremarkable +1, then do 2 German fairs back to back on the way home. One of those fairs went AWOL at the last minute so we were left with a tough morning decision.
a) Stick to the plan, albeit less of it, have a somewhat slow day and risk it being a bit of a downer, dragging our heels until the late night chunnel.
b) Or, Phanny’s (this is what fans call it, right?) only 20 minutes away. There’s nothing new, that thing with the walls isn’t open yet, we haven’t really enjoyed the place but umm… there’s plenty to keep us occupied and we can finish the trip on Taron instead of a bench. Maybe you need a global pandemic to have a good time there?
Ah… go on then.

Day 12 – Phantasialand

Started better than last time. Into the good car park with no one shouting at us, into the good entrance – might have been greeted with a smile for the first time but, you know, masks.

Straight to Taron. Not 90 minutes and no one smoking! We did need a global pandemic after all.
Crossing the bridge to the sound of the trim kicking in directly above your head was new to me, also hilarious.
They’ve done some work to the cattlepen area since I last remember. It looks a little less multi-storey car park now, plus some extra rooves, lamps and gremlins in jars. Fair play.
It broke down. Again.
That’s 3 for 3.

Finally got more than 2 rides per day on it and I think I’ve actually managed to suss out the layout. I’m not sure if doing this has helped the ride though. At least I found that one airtime moment everyone’s always on about.

That one, yeah? It’s alright.
The rest of the layout felt as inconsequential as ever, if not more so. Where does all the energy from that amazing second launch go?
I have to really flop forward in the seat, loosen my limbs and sign a permission slip if I want the ride to throw me around a little. This should be a guarantee, not a choice.
I still love it, but it’s in danger of slipping.

We rode River Quest from page 3 of the Hafema catalogue. It kicked ass. Damnit Legendia!

Here’s a shot of Chiapas I bet you’ve never seen before.
It was nice to walk straight onto this for a change. The lap bars are still annoying, forcing your shoes into trenches of water, but the steepness of that drop cannot be denied.

I now have to publicly apologise. I’m sorry Colorado Adventure. I misjudged you. I sat in your front row 4 years ago and you punched me in the head with your silly train car. We didn’t get along.

I sat in the back row this time and I have been enlightened. What a ridiculous ride. I was standing up for 90% of it, being thrown all over the place and laughing through sheer glee.
Look at this lot. They know where it’s at.

Couldn’t really top the midnight fireworks rides on Black Mamba but it’s still one of my fave inverts. I always forget the layout and it has more foot tingling helices than any other I can think of.

As you’re not allowed to shop in the evening at this park, made sure we got in early and finally became proud owners of a Maus au Chocolat after doing the ride. Still one of my fave shooting dark rides.

You can’t choose your Winjas, cos covid, so of course we got the worse one twice, but it’s still one of my fave spinners.
Quick, think of something negative to say.

They’ve put VR on a coaster – the bastards!
Oh, the headsets are gone, cos covid.
I can’t bring myself to mock Crazy Bats when it’s just vanilla Temple of the Nighthawk. It’s cool.

Hollywood Tour was closed – the bastards!

We had some Asian late lunch next, with nowhere to sit and dancing away from wasps every 30 seconds, but it was decent.

Taron was broke, again, so we waited for that to come back to life and rode it once more. It wasn’t closing time yet, we could have stayed on it to the end, but “let’s go get a +2 instead.” That’s right, you heard me.

Öcher Bend Funfair

It didn’t quite have the lively spirit one would hope to get out of a German fair, not being dark yet and, you know, restrictions.
We completed our final track and trace paper and then went to find an operator.

#1 Alpen Coaster

For this thing that rides like a bigger Zyklon Galaxi.

#2 Crazy Jungle

And then finishing the trip in style of course – a wacky worm that’s a lion.

Turned out there were three countries to cross on the way home without stopping this time. We succeeded without incident and then came face to face with the UK border people. Our forms had been filled out online the night before and they didn’t seem to need to acknowledge this, instead just asking where we had been. We gave them a quick education on the Polish coaster scene, what they’re missing and why the back is better than the front – this was sufficient information to get us home.


Mingled countries – 4
Total countries – 7
New creds – 56
Total coasters – 71
New parks – 19
Total parks –23
New wacky worms – 6
Total wacky worms – 7
Best coaster – Zadra
Best park – I can’t really say no to Energylandia
Distance travelled ~ 3800 Miles-ish (new record)
Spites – 1/57 (1.75%), good old Europe.

Europe 08/20 – Serengeti Park + Fort Fun Abenteuerland
USA 04/19 – Dollywood + Pigeon Forge

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