Had a bit of a crap time at Oakwood, but some stories have to be told anyway.
Work lumbered me with a morning free in the arse end of Wales, so I thought it would be rude not to pop in, mostly because I’m far more shameless than I once was and having skipped the smaller creds on my last visit, it would be a +3 for me.
Oakwood Theme Park
Turned up bright and early before opening time thinking this’ll be a breeze. Staff were arriving later than me and were confused by my presence. Sat it out until a few minutes prior, by which time a crowd of 20-30 people were ready to roll.
Had a completely free run of the place for the first hour and hit all of the smaller creds in this time.
#1 Circus Clown was tested and opened for me, on request. Good start.
Highlight of the day – I broke #2 Crocodile Coaster. It completed the first lap without a hitch (that’s the +1 sorted), but as it was picking up some speed through the second lap, sparks began to fly and some black smoke wafted up in the vicinity of the trains contact with the power rail. The operator hit the E-stop upon seeing this and ran off to get a manager telling me to stay where I was. I thought to myself, sitting about 2 inches from the floor, ‘if I see any more smoke I ain’t staying.’ He returned and had a quick chat about his procedures and what we thought had happened, can’t fault him at all for how the traumatising ordeal was handled. The manager and some engineers arrived shortly afterwards and coaxed it back into the station. That was fun.
Didn’t know #3 Creepy Crawler (I do admire all this alliteration) had a little themed queue with some fog and an animatronic. That was cool. The ride wasn’t. M&Ds must have given it a hard time.
Even though they were posted as also opening at 10:00 at the entrance, Speed and Megafobia did not open during this time.
So I sat on a bench for half an hour outside Megafobia and waited. By the time it had opened, a couple of hundred school children had rocked up to the park and after getting my first lap, the queue was instantly up to around an hour, with painfully slow one man operations, half the rows closed off cos they’re broken and 10 minute dispatches.
Megafobia
I’d been told this woodie was on its A game recently, but it was pretty much how I remembered it – meh. It rides with the sort of roughness that saps all the airtime away, when you should be pinned out of your seat you just end up bouncing around instead from all the poor tracking.
Sucked up one more wait just to prove a point, then got annoyed and sunburnt and promptly left.
Maybe I should start collecting castles instead of coasters. This is Pembroke Castle. One for the count.
Exciting (or harrowing) news! 2 shiny new creds have hit the UK. But before we get to that, need to squeeze in a little visit here.
Animal Farm Adventure Park
For the second time in a week, I’ve been asked if I want to buy any sheep food. What sort of impression am I giving.
The park is home to a quirky Wacky Worm.
#1 Caterpiller
This model features magnetic brakes that are working far too hard, so the operator has a bit of a work out to get the train through the station for each of the 3 laps.
Reminded me of this scene for some reason.
With the important stuff out of the way, went to see some animals.
Reminding me of Pettitt’s now.
Sheep are rather scary creatures. Something about those eyes.
What’s in the shed?
Admiring the hair do.
Didn’t think llamas coulid have such cute faces outside of animation.
If sheep and goats aren’t scary enough for you, they’ve also got a reptile house.
So just down the road, on the beach at Weston-Super-Mud, this place made its contribution to the world only a week prior to our visit. And what a great name.
Funland at the Tropicana
For the second time in a week, bought some tokens from a dog. This one was inside someone’s shirt, so no picture unfortunately.
10 hours seems a bit of a stretch, but who am I to judge?
As I climb aboard my third Wacky Worm in a row.
#2 Wacky Worm
The paint was still shining and it glided effortlessly through the station.
This one had teething troubles and, for a brief moment, we thought it was going to spite as they evacuated 3 cars from the station and told everyone to go try something else.
This is the same part of the country where we camped out a certain Pinfari looper that was broken for 3 hours, so unperturbed, we simply settled in for the wait.
2 minutes later, following a spanner to the brakes, each car was sent round once and it was back in business. Well that was easy.
#3 Wild Mouse
Used to these being run down and falling apart, making it an unusual experience to ride it in fancy new trains. Gave quite a good run, not blocking at all until the final corner, but definitely missing that sketchy spark.
So there you go. No need for Icon and Wicker Man this year. Have at it.
‘Your move Big Sheep. I’ve got my voucher. I’m ready. Are you?’ Gotta start this one off with I can’t believe I forgot the bloody voucher…
Flambards
If anywhere needed a voucher it was this place. I’m always saying “I’ve done worse”, but struggling to think of an example right now.
#1 Hornet
WENT for the BUZZZZ! …on Britain’s most Southerly COASTER.
Having a walk-on Vol Don’t Care was a novelty and they were hauling as much arse as its counterpart, running 3 trains for about 3 people.
Was quite fun watching other trains buzz around while on it.
Had a quick browse of what else was on offer.
Figured Skyraker001 was worth a shot, one of those SBF bouncy towers that offers some mild tingly feeling.
Wandered into a spinning tunnel.
Wandered into some dinosaurs.
Wandered out. Not a fan of this place as a ticket costs the same as a Blackpool Pleasure Beach wristband and there’s really no comparison there, but hey, it’s done. Next.
Camel Creek Adventure Park
This place was nicer.
Home to this beast.
Some other beasts.
#2 Morgawr
Good to get another obscure manufacturer cred on the list (Garmendale Engineering). Train was cute and the ride was a good laugh.
Wandered into this place, which housed 5 little 4 seater simulator pods in front of a big screen, with about 30 chairs straight out of a school hall placed behind them for the ‘non-thrilling option’.
The film was Red Beards Rapids (as promised) and was another good laugh.
This place had animals as well (didn’t see any camels though) and felt like a much more well rounded park, so good job. Next.
Big Sheep
Cornwall was left behind us and Devon seems much friendlier in comparison. As with Milky Way earlier in the year, got an enthusiastic run down from admissions staff of all the things on offer in the park. Was also asked if I wanted any sheep food. I’m alright thanks.
Follow the arrows to the cred.
#3 Rampage
Ride operator on this custom Zierer Tivoli was great, really going out of his way to acknowledge everyone and make sure they had a good time.
The coaster was fun, if just for the weirdness of the layout.
It was an indoor ride in its original location and now it’s just up in the air doing its own thing.
Those super long trains make back row quite a thrill as well.
Some sheep appeared, just to remind us where we were. Think they were doing a practice lap for the race later, also wetting the track to add an element of danger.
Smart.
China, can’t escape it.
Not much else on the ride front here, but seemed liked a good day out for regular people. Next.
Funder Park
#4 Wacky Worm
Final leg of the trip and finally a Wacky Worm to make the tale worthy of the cred hunting series. There’s something heart warming about those faces.
Surprised it’s so early, but it turns out some places actually open in February!
They obviously get very busy with it.
A hideously early start for a winter weekend landed us in the car park somewhere in between park opening and ride opening for:
Milky Way Adventure Park
All the rides you could ever want.
Kicked off to a fantastic start, with a very enthusiastic staff member giving us a highly detailed explanation of the park map, planning out a little itinerary for our day including a show at 3pm. Didn’t have the heart to say we’d be gone by 11:10. Took particular note of the speech about the wacky worm, saying that for those not brave enough for the big coaster, adults are always welcome. Great to hear such thoughtfulness when a fair few parks in this country try and make you feel bad about taking a harmless ride (or even flat out refuse you). One day society will accept us.
This highly detailed explanation led to us immediately getting lost. The park has a very weird layout, forcing you through certain attractions including Dr. Who and pink R2D2 (what?), then down corridors that look like a school and into doors you don’t feel you should be opening.
Stumbled outside and bagged our first cred of the day.
#1 Cosmic Typhoon
Standard stuff. Spent most of the ride in a battle between keeping the park map safely in hand and protecting said hands from the bitter cold. Reminds me I’m back home when I’m freezing my arse off in a park.
#2 Cosmic Caterpillar
Made a beeline for the worm and as if by magic, the operator appeared, coffee flask in hand.
Now had 17 minutes to kill before Clone Zone opened. Decided the maze sounded like the best way to do this, but managed to navigate through the hedges much easier than the actual park.
Magnificent looking specimens.
#3 Clone Zone
Seeing that we couldn’t contain our excitement, they opened a couple of minutes early and led us through for a quick safety chat. The assumption was made that we wouldn’t get scared, but make enough noise and the aliens will go away.
The walkthrough bit was a good laugh and I like the way you get a tour guide giving you a bit of back story and a scare or two. Got attacked by an alien near the end as the host made a swift exit, presumably to go run the ride. The best reaction I could manage was a mild “oh no!”
Weird contraptions these bat flyers, particularly in powered form. I rather enjoyed the exposed feeling as it pitches about accelerating and deccelerating in hilarious fashion. Scenes and animatronics were great too, just all ended a little too soon.
Almost ended, had to ungracefully manouevre the tunnel at the end.
All done then. Grabbed a £1 voucher for Big Sheep on the way out, though we knew their cred wasn’t open today. Have to stay one step ahead.
Back on the road to Credit-on.
With due dedication, we had done our research and the other park with available creds in fickle February was: Crealy Adventure Park
We even had an email confirming said creds would be open, playing it so smart. Wait, what’s this?
Just… Can’t escape the spite.
Have to grab things while you can in this game, so soldiered on anyway.
Roman soldiered even.
#4 Maximus
Vekoma Junior with a shed. Name might oversell it a bit.
Bit more significant in comparison to #5 Shark Bay though. Was told it was difficult to get. It wasn’t. +1!
The Paultons-fed dinosaur craze in UK parks has reached Devon too. We’re blatantly worse for copying stuff than China.
Fearless seagull.
Gave their version of the dinosaur ride a go. Gotta get your moneys worth from these places.
Started off a bit budget, but it had another shed and some animatronic ones near the end. A reasonable attempt.
Not quite the perfect success we were hoping for but a +5 is a step in the right direction and a great way to kill a day. Should only need 1 more trip down this way to dust it all off… but I’m far too cursed for that. Your move Big Sheep. I’ve got my voucher. I’m ready. Are you?
Day 2 – Pettitts Animal Adventure Park Nice little park.
#1 Rocky Roller Coaster
Nice little ride.
Spent some time looking at raccoons.
My reaction to yesterday’s spite.
Joyland Childrens Fun Park Didn’t make it here last time we were in Great Yarmouth. Can’t remember exactly why. They pack the rides in tighter than I do.
Another WGH for the collection in the form of #2 Spook Express. Jellikins may make that collection hard to complete. The ride is quite a good use of space, being situated above everything else in the park. Takes a few laps and has a bit of an ‘indoor section’.
Did Tyrolean Tubtwist. Hilarious. Vicious. Don’t agree on the Coaster Count stance on this one when it’s pretty much the same logic as: Did the Snails. Hilarious. Vicious. ‘Undefined’. Not a cred.
Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach Popped in for the first Wacky Worm I’ve ever reridden, albeit 15 years later. Mega-Lite needed the cred. Not as good as I remember, but very enthusiastic staff is always a plus.
Took a token lap on Rollercoaster. Be rude not to. Tivoli Gardens killed these classic woodies, the brake men are such wusses everywhere else.
There’s still time. What else can we squeeze in? Against better judgment, Clacton.
Pavilion Fun Park Got out of the car just as Hurricane Irma was hitting the east coast of England.
Shouting through the wind: “IS THE ROLLERCOASTER OPEN?” “NO, THE TRACK IS WET” What is this? Nagashima?
Battled through a sandstorm and walked to…
Clacton Pier Stella’s Revenge was that she was also spiting. However, the ticket bloke managed to phone up a member of staff to run #3Wild Mouse Coaster for us, in adverse weather.
As it’s obviously a Wacky Worm and not a Wild Mouse, I’ve finally got the ‘most confusing cred name’ cred to my name.
A reasonable amount of success in this weekend. Still plenty of loose ends around the area to keep me out of trouble though.
Here’s a bit of a fun weekend in pursuit of some previous spite:
Day 1 – Fantasy Island
#1 Odyssey (pictured in yellow) is a hard creature to catch, but we finally managed it this year. I had some mild form of excitement for the ride, as although it’s a Vekoma SLC, it’s reasonably unique and absolutely huge.
Well it rides terribly. I simply resorted back to my zoned out defensive mode and that was that. At least it’s done.
Millennium (pictured in yellow) remains an offensively smooth mince around the park and the nearby streets. Boarding the the train directly above the high street is still a novel experience.
Couldn’t resistriding Seaquarium, the fishy dark ride thing. Got the song stuck in my head again. A classic. I forget the rest.
Botton’s Pleasure Beach As nice as the staff were last time, this park was down to a 5 minute job, from the previous 15 minute job. Needed #2 Queen Bee. Got Queen Bee. Did the ghost train cos it worked out with a token deal. Wasn’t great.
Mack’s Amusements The wrong Mack unfortunately. Sketchy looking thing on a beach:
They closed down early for the day, in front of our face. Didn’t want to take our money. You win some, you lose some.
Time to take a short break from the fancy stuff and get down and dirty. Drove for 40 minutes through intermittent bursts of rain so heavy you couldn’t see the road. Sat in the car park for 30 minutes while it was chucking it down. The rain eased slightly.
#1 Big Apple
Walked up to the cred as a couple of staff members were starting to come out of hiding from the weather. No one else around at all. “Do you wanna go on that?” “Yes, yes we do.” “Sweet, I don’t know how the brakes work but I know a man who does.” Several more staff wander over and between them are able to meet the criteria to take our money and get the ride running. Got 3 laps.
At long last it was time to go to Disneyland. I had saved the supposed best ’til the end mainly because it was geographically closest to the airport and furthest from everything else.
The resort has a dedicated metro, decorated with Mickey windows and other artifacts within and though it departs from Sunny Bay, the weather couldn’t have been further from it.
It may have been affecting the performance of Big Grizzly Mountain, which wasn’t operating for several extended periods. Everything else was running well and, more importantly, mostly empty. Walk on queues are very unusual to see for a Disney park.
So we started with Mystic Manor and what a place to start. This gorgeous piece of architecture houses one of the greatest dark rides in the world.
After an endearing preshow that sets the scene, introduces you to the characters and contains some magical animatronic action, the most friendly people in Hong Kong, dressed in traditional maid outfits lead you to your trackless vehicles.
These vehicles are mesmerising to watch. Entirely automated, going about their business like robots, this is what we need for those driverless cars.
The advantage of trackless rides is the way they make the movement and interaction with the scenery feel a lot more fluid and less fixed to a single path. Cars dance around each other and head off in different directions to navigate around certain rooms so you can get a slightly different experience each time.
Each room in Mystic Manor is a work of art. The detail, the effects, the story and the music all add up to a magnificent attraction and by the time you reach the climax, with the room spinning and the walls being ripped away I had completely fallen for the ride. It demands many laps and it got them.
RC Racer
This demands 1 lap, for the cred, and it barely deserves it. It’s a poor excuse for a ride, especially in a Disney park and it’s even more annoying to see them cloned into multiple Toy Story lands in a lazy fashion.
The walkthrough attraction full of miniature sets was a quaint experience with not many people around. Having time to watch the smaller details was nice without having to jostle around with the crowds I imagine are usually filling these areas.
As my shoes slowly filled with water, I stopped taking pictures for a while. Space Mountain offered an opportuniy for shelter and it’s a stunningly good rollercoaster. The train climbs and climbs in the dark with the onboard soundtrack blaring, taking you up into the centre of the dome where it suddenly gets all lit up and spacey.
The layout is an intense sequence of drops and tight hairpin turns, winding it’s way down through the structure and scenery. The momentum builds and builds and it all becomes more of a blur as you struggle to see. I started second guessing the turns and it led to some fantastic moments when I thought left and it goes right, chucking me violently to one side. It’s the sensory overload that truly makes it special though.
Eventually we stumbled across the Vekoma mine train when it was back up and running. This ride shows a fantastic leap in innovation from the Big Thunder predecessors, using shuttle track sequences and a launch to break the layout up into three distinct sections.
Each section leads off with some mischievous grizzly bears, up to no good. They pull levers and you go the wrong way, they make your chain lift snap and they explode dynamite behind you, sending the train shooting out of a cave. They’re the stars of the show.
The entire land that houses the ride is a pure spectacle, with all manner of decoration turning it into a village in its own right. The geysers and hot springs bubble away and shoot jets of water all over the place, some directly interacting with the ride and others just dotted around for showing off.
My only let down with the ride was that it’s a tiny bit too much on the safe side. Throughout each part I found myself willing it to go just that little bit harder and faster, sitting like a complete rag doll and hoping to be chucked about in my seat a little bit more. It lacks any true out of control feeling like the Paris mine train.
It’s still exhilarating, particularly the launch sequence out over numerous small hills and through the aforementioned geyser jets, but selfish me wants it to be even more thrilling. Never mind the children. The way the area lights up at night is even more enticing and it’s just a masterpiece. I really don’t want to mark it down.
Somehow the day still managed to fly by and we soon found ourselves rushing to nab an attraction we had managed to miss before it closed. It was completely dark by the time we made it onto Jungle Cruise, but that was probably a good thing. For a boat exploring the jungle, it made for an eerie atmosphere and our staff skipper performed some great commentary and entertainment. The ride itself also has a few surprises up its sleeve, with water effects, fire and explosions creating yet another of the parks wondrous spectacles. Very glad we made it in time.
With all the rides now closed it was time for the closing show, projected onto the tiny castle. It was par for the course for a Disney castle end of night display – so that means emotional and amazing. All the tunes, all the characters, all the joy. I defy anyone to not enjoy this aspect of a Disneyland park.
This report seems to make the park seem really small and lacking in attractions. While it is relatively tiny, there was easily enough to keep me happy over the course of a very long operating day, even with almost no queueing. My only gripe with the park was having to stumble over a million pushchairs (where did these even come from?) to get to the fastrack machine for Space Mountain (I didn’t even need to, just feel obliged to abuse the system when it’s free). Other than that, a pure world class park, easily one of the best and a fantastic way to end Hong Kong on a high. Of course.
The first day back in Hong Kong was another dedicated to sightseeing – they really don’t have enough parks here to keep me busy, but we’ll get to them eventually.
The most significant part of the agenda was the famous peak tram. A huge funicular railway that takes you up the mountains on the southern Hong Kong island.
At night, there was supposed to be a grand light show across the harbour, synchronised with epic music. It turned out to be just awful and a waste of time. The event started by reading off a list of sponsors – basically the owners of the buildings that take part in the show. Some very timid and unenthusiastic tunes were played, while a few searchlights waved backwards and forwards from a couple of skyscrapers. A world class experience it was not.
Damn tourism, let’s go ride something instead.
Hong Kong was beginning to wear me down by the following morning. I had always heard great things about the place from whoever had been (bold claims like better than Singapore), but I really wasn’t feeling it myself. I’m a big fan of this part of the world and though it wasn’t bad to the point of never returning, if I had to choose three words to describe it in direct comparison to those claims, they would be dirty, inefficient and rude – way below my expectations. The main transport link to Ocean Park involved taking an inconspicuous bus from a side street somewhere. Wanting to be sure of what we were doing, we asked the first driver of said bus where he was going and the response was in essence to shout us back off of the bus. The second bus that pulled up behind it managed no more than a low grunt, which we took as good enough.
After much more of an ordeal than it should have been, crossing huge roads, avoiding shady characters and having to find some back entrance with grubby escalators, we were ready to enter.
Ocean Park
Luckily it’s a place filled with awe and wonder, so the troubles were soon far behind us.
We began by taking the fabled cable car from the bottom end of the park to the top, beyond another mountain.
It really is quite the journey, looking out below at where you’ve just come from, the ocean off to the side and the B&M coaster approaching you from behind.
And the B&M was where the day really started. This floorless coaster has a prime location with wonderful views that really add to the experience.
After some faff in the station, where the ‘on-ride photos’ are, for some reason, made by a man with a posh camera wasting time and intricately taking everyone’s picture in the seat before it despatches, the train climbs up towards the crest of a mountain. The first portion of the layout is dug rather unceremoniously into the side of the hill, but you don’t see it for long.
A curved drop takes it into a vertical loop where I immediately began to notice that this rides like no other B&M I’ve encountered – it’s rough, really shaking and rattling all over the place. Not to the point of ruining the experience, but certainly very jarring and unexpected. I later decided it gives it character, so consider it a good thing.
The pace and flow of the rest of the layout is excellent, bouncing from one side to the other through a great sequence of inversions and airtime hills. Hair Raiser has a completely unique style and I enjoyed it very much.
Due to the terrain, this area of the park is on multiple levels with lots of stair and escalator access, making it quite the adventure to explore.
On the same level is a Mack powered coaster which surrounds the entrance to the polar animal exhibits (this place is at least half zoo, too) and the ride itself is rather uninspired.
Further down the mountain is this brightly coloured Arrow looper. I didn’t get on very well with this one, with angry staff forcing me to remove my glasses but hold onto them (and the restraint at the same time) during the ride rather than put them anywhere safe – clearly more likely to lose them than if I had just worn them.
To make matters worse, it was rough. The sidewinder element – half loop, half corkscrew had a nasty jolt that caused the shoulder restraint to punch me in the head, just for good measure.
It ends with a dumb second lift hill with no other purpose than to take it back up to the station. I could have enjoyed it for the setting, but it wasn’t to be.
Further down still is a far superior ride. This Zamperla mine train has one of the most amazing views you could ever hope to find on a rollercoaster and it’s a pretty fun piece of hardware too.
The brake run at the end sways rather unnervingly at such a height, only adding to the exhilaration. Can’t think of a better use for this terrain.
Aside from the coasters, there wasn’t much else in the ride department that interested me. The rapids ride was down, so we jumped on the observation tower to appreciate it all from a greater height.
A considerable amount of time was spent with the vast quantities of animal exhibits at both the top and bottom of the park. As well as the cablecar, there is a train that runs completely underground, insanely, through the middle of the mountain. It has a bit of a theme, with lighting and projections on the ceiling of the cars to keep you entertained on the journey.
With such a packed schedule, darkness soon descended and I took a glorious night lap on Hair Raiser before taking one of the last cablecars back down in the dark – equally magical.
There was a light and fountain show to enjoy near the entrance before departing for the night and it was in these last couple of hours that I finally started to develop a real appreciation for Ocean Park. It has a few flaws, but it’s pretty damn special.
After a breakfast that tried to kill me, the plan for the morning was to head out to Knight Valley and score the amazing looking (and imaginatively named) Wood Coaster. Following some confusion, there was actually a bus literally outside the hotel that went all the way out to the resort, which is way beyond the city to the east. The bus took the most tedious of journeys imaginable, all while I wasn’t feeling too good and after a good couple of hours, it dumped us at the end of the road that heads into the resort.
Immediately we were swarmed by a crowd of old people trying to sell us plastic buckets and spades. Granted, there is a beach here at Dameisha, but we were clearly heading up towards the park which is in a beautifully mountainous location upon which those wouldn’t be the most useful of tools. They followed us all the way to the car park barrier, ignoring both a plea for ignorance and a direct no before eventually finding someone else to bother.
That turned out to be the highlight of the journey as upon arrival at the ticket desk, we were informed that the wooden rollercoaster was closed for maintenance. The one and only reason I came. Because of the nature of the location, I never even laid eyes on the ride that had spited me so badly, hiding somewhere a mile up in those trees. It was time to get back on the bus and endure the exact same journey all over again, this time without even excitement to carry it.
The other plan for the day was a park in the city, opposite Happy Valley and back where we started, that had an insignificant cred.
The first things we came across were dinosaurs. The majority of this massive park is based around recreations of landmarks and there is very little focus on amusements.
And it’s located inside this cave, decorated by a man in pain. I had absolutely no idea what to expect from this ride. There were some cool looking promo videos in the queue that showed intense volcanic activity being the scenery for a magnificent rollercoaster. This was slightly true, though the ride never picked up much speed or did a whole lot. It had a good atmosphere but ended up mostly forgettable.
The only other ride we tried was the Bobkart nearby, the first one I had encountered and one of the longest in the world. It was great fun, accelerating far quicker than I had imagined for something completely under guest control and with enough speed there was even a semblance of airtime over the bumps in the layout, which seemed to go on forever through the trees. They aren’t creds, but I’ll have to find more of these now.
