Ride Review – Space Warrior

Space Warrior is a shooting dark ride found at Fantawild Adventure parks, with a ride system inspired by Disney’s Toy Story Mania attractions. Cars of 4 guests paired back to back travel between 3D screens, stopping in front of each for a quick game of manic shooting and scoring points before moving to the next screen, and the next, and the next…

One of the more unusual features of Fantawild parks is that they can often be so quiet, a high capacity attraction like this ends up shutting down for 50% of the time and only running on a time slot basis when there are enough guests to justify it. To deal with this, rides of this nature often have a pre-queue ‘waiting area’ with seating, colouring books and a play area to while away the time.

The ride heavily features Duludubi, the blue dragon mascot of the Adventure parks (he even has his own video games). While the on screen visuals are colourful, hectic and a lot of fun, the way each set just forms one of many walls in a clearly obvious warehouse with nothing else in between takes away a degree of immersion from the experience. It’s all about the shooting.

Having ridden Space Warrior before the aforementioned Disney version, I was surprised to learn that Toy Story Mania doesn’t attempt to do this a whole lot better either, so this one probably shouldn’t be penalised too much for that. What doesn’t help matters for me is the existence of Maus au Chocolat at Phantasialand, which takes this whole system to another level in terms of theming.

In it’s own right, this is an fun and entertaining attraction and a bit of a change of pace from any other ride in the park with the interactive features. Everyone loves a good shooting dark ride really.
Here’s a handy list of where you can give it a go.


Ride Review – Wizard Academy

Found mainly in Fantawild Dreamland parks, Wizard Academy is the 2nd generation of the chain’s Spiderman technology dark ride and predecessor to Legend of Nüwa. The vehicles are the same, energetically twirling and weaving small groups of riders around 3D screens with a story to tell.

The story in this case is a little woolly. It appears that you’ve been invited to join this school of magic by an angry old wizard. As you traverse the layout he proceeds to throw all sorts of danger and misfortune at you, from giant creatures trying to smash you with clubs to fireballs that visibly incinerate other vehicles of fictional riders.
The issue I raised in my Nüwa review in that they tend to use a lot of slow motion shots to exaggerate 3D effects and try to get a reaction out of people is even more prevalent in this version, almost to the point of comedy.
Somehow as a total rookie you survive all this and are presented with a diploma for magic by the now slightly less angry wizard. So, are we friends now?

Wizard’s Academy is by no means a bad ride but I find the experience a little jarring, particularly having done clearly better versions of the technology (you can tell I’m not enthused by the lack of photos). I’m a million times more invested in Fantawild’s authentic mythology based attractions than, for want of a better description, ‘Harry Potter gone wrong’ narratives.
Here’s a handy list of where you can try to make more sense of it.


Ride Review – Qin Dynasty Adventure

Located only at Fantawild Dreamland parks, Qin Dynasty Adventure uses ride technology inspired by Disney’s Indiana Jones attractions, emulating all terrain vehicles that pitch and tilt riders in an exaggerated fashion as they follow a linear track.

The basis of the ride is that guests are invited to take a look around the excavation of the Terracotta Army, in the Mausoleum of Qin Shi Huang. While down there, mystical forces come into play, everything begins to come to life and the adventure turns into a perilous mission of escape from everything trying to kill you.

The end result is a very highly themed and impressive ride. It’s so densely packed and chaotic that even after riding several versions I couldn’t actually say for sure whether they are identical copies of each other or not. The movements from the vehicles can be very vicious at times, banking the wrong way into corners as they accelerate and, when bad things are happening, often trying to bounce you out of your position.

On at least one edition we experienced a very liberal seatbelt policy from the ride staff, in that they specifically said ‘oh don’t bother wearing that’ and with no one else on board, while sliding in and out of my seat, the subsequent experience was exceedingly thrilling, if not downright dangerous.

The atmosphere they’ve created is what really sells Qin Dynasty Adventure for me though, there’s just something about the adventure and exploration of the tombs they capture so wonderfully in the theming. This attraction actually set me up for disappointment when visiting the actual heritage site outside Xi’an – I expected to be stumbling through dark and narrow tombs, not standing in an aircraft hangar.

Overall this is a proper quality dark ride that, like Devil’s Peak, seems to be the only attempt Fantawild have had at this specific technology so far. I really hope they try another because they can clearly do some fantastic things with it.
Here’s a handy list of where to go instead of the real Terracotta Army.


Ride Review – Devil’s Peak

Found at both Fantawild Dreamland and Oriental Heritage parks, this dark ride can also be known as The Flaming Mountains (the setting for the story). The ride technology is heavily inspired by the Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey attraction at Universal Studios, using a 4-seater robot arm on a moving track that can bounce, flip and tip riders into any orientation that might be required throughout the ride screens and scenery.

The narrative plays out as a small portion of the famous novel, Journey to the West. Riders follow Sun Wukong a.k.a. Monkey through a perilous adventure of mountains and fire with what can only be described as a couple of boss fights, including with the Bull Demon King, along the way.

Despite the ride existing in at least 6 locations already, I have only managed to experience this one a couple of times and my memory is lacking on the finer details. The major difference between this attraction and the Harry Potter inspiration is found in the pacing. Where Universal Studios choose to have you flying through every scene without time for pause or effect, the Fantawild edition feels unnaturally sluggish in comparison, taking time over every detail.

This isn’t a bad thing by any means, it’s less of a blurry screen based mess than the original and a much more coherent story for it. The sensations can be odd in their own way, pitching right onto your back for extended and sometimes uncomfortable periods of time to look at things on the ceiling for example. I wouldn’t go as far as describing it as thrilling, but it certainly is a rather unique way to experience a dark ride.

On the whole it’s a very fun experience and a welcome addition to any of the parks. From what I’ve seen Devil’s Peak seems to be their only version of this technology for now, currently standing still where other ride types have grown and developed over time. I’d definitely be interested to see what else they can do with it.
Here’s a handy list of all those 6 locations.


Ride Review – Dragon King’s Tale

Also known as Rumble Under the Sea, this dark ride often features at either Fantawild Dreamland or Oriental Heritage parks. The system uses huge 30+ seater vehicles that appear to be boats but actually run on wheels. These traverse at a gentler pace, limited to forwards and backwards movement, allowing plenty of time to observe the 3D screen based storyline.

The story involves Ne Zha, a playful protection God who could quite easily be mistaken for a young girl and his accidental feud with the Dragon King of the East Sea. Riders join him on a quest to confront this dragon, crossing a few character obstacles along the way and righting some supposed wrongs in the process.

The queue contains a preshow that outlines the current flood issue to be overcome, before inviting guests to pass through a large tunnel around which water jets are rather coolly circulating. Sadly I have only seen this show and effect in action on one occasion among several locations.

Once aboard, it’s an entertaining sequence of events. Screens span entire walls, there are fire effects (always a plus) in places and there’s usually several things going on at once in the surroundings.

Ne Zha has a couple of weapons and gimmicks up his sleeve including a big ring, magic shoes and a stick. By the time you reach the boss fight, rotating in a circular room while a couple of dragons tear the place apart, he ends up with 3 heads. That’ll do it.
As you pull back into the station there’s a cool little projection as the riders are thanked for their participation (we didn’t really do anything) and turns into a zen painting.

Dragon King’s Tale is a solid attraction that compliments any Fantawild lineup nicely. It’s not a gamechanger by any means but I don’t believe the world has anywhere enough of these simpler storytelling dark ride attractions and this example is certainly a refreshing attempt, particularly from a Western perspective.
Here’s a handy list of where you can find Ne Zha in action.


Ride Review – Legend of Nüwa

Legend of Nüwa is one of the staple dark rides of Oriental Heritage parks and the inspiration for the ride system came from the Spiderman attraction(s) at Universal Studios. Essentially a 6 seater motion simulator that runs on a track, the experience is heavily emphasised by movement – big 3D screens situated around the layout drive the narrative and guests interact with the action by being shaken about, accelerated, tipped and spun according to what’s happening.

As with many of the attractions at these parks, the storyline is rooted in Chinese mythology. Nüwa is the mother goddess who created humanity and this specific tale relates to a story about fixing a hole in the sky. Riders are invited to join on this quest and are dragged around forcefully, mainly by use of some magic whip to witness (and not help with) many action sequences.
There’s several characters both human and non-human out to stop this repair job happening and the visual landscape is in tatters, with a lot of strange gravity and floating rocks, so the ride sensations mainly revolve around fighting and falling.

The queueline is entirely located indoors and extensively themed, usually opening out into several rooms with screens and preshow details. I’ve never experienced any sort of wait time for this ride myself, so it’s quite easy to take for granted all of this extra effort that went into the look and feel of the attraction.

On board I’ve had various differing opinions of the ride. It has always been very good, at a minumum. At least one version suffered from timing issues where the screens got stuck or failed to sync up with the position of the vehicles and this was a bit of a downer, but it is a highly technical ride.
The standout version for me was in Changsha, probably the most freshly built at the time of riding and all the vehicle movements seemed extra vicious. I’m not sure whether they’ve cranked it up on newer versions or if the older ones get weaker over time but I do know that I like it, a lot. It gave a real sense of the ride throwing you about and that you were at the complete mercy of the surrounding action, which fits very nicely into the narrative.

It can get a little repetetive in parts with all the punchy, smashy things going on. There’s onboard audio that contains an ever present pair of buffoons (emulating fellow guests/riders I assume) that are constantly babbling and exclaiming in surprise and panic at literally everything that goes on. Best to tune that bit out if you can. The other thing that bugs me slightly is the amount of times they do slow-mo shots that attempt to emphasise the 3D-ness coming at your goggled face. It’s certainly overdone for how effective this actually is, but the moments are sometimes accompanied by a pyro or two so I end up forgiving it for that.

Overall though, Legend of Nüwa is a high class attraction well worth plenty of attention. I’m happy to help her save the world any time.
Here’s a handy list of where you can do your bit too.


Resort Ranking – The Fantawilds

Fantawild are my favourite theme park chain in China right now. It’s been a bumpy ride over the last 5 or 6 trips out there but my most recent visits really highlighted how much I do actually love what they do.

The definitive niche they have over all other parks in the region is that they design and build their own dark rides – even the ride systems are done in house. The end result of some of these is nothing short of incredible and when you pair a couple of attractions of this nature with a top tier coaster, a few of which they also have, I get very excitable.

Currently owning 27 properties throughout the country (with another 8 on the way), many of the locations are resorts in their own right with multiple gates and extensive hotel complexes. There have been a few generations of development so far, each one being bigger, better and more ambitious. They’re a bit harder to come by on a quick jaunt in the region, usually sitting a fair distance outside major cities with limited transport access, but a good number of them are well worth the endeavour.

With so many locations already existing, the prospect of visiting all of them is likely largely offputting to most people and because of the repetition seen throughout these parks (there’s only so many times you can listen to Chinese Opera), working out which one to visit can seem a bit overwhelming. However, if you do go to China for theme parks and don’t experience Fantawild I will consider it a crime of the highest order.

I’m missing a couple (tons) of early Adventure parks (no big loss) but by the end of my last trip (more opened since…) I had visited every Dreamland and Oriental Heritage in the country so I thought it might help to create a little overview guide as to what attractions can be found where, what those attractions are and which parks I think personally give the best of everything.

I’ve been meaning to get onto dark ride reviews on the site at some point so I’ll have to branch off with more detail on some of these incredible examples. For now we’ll have settle with this list, which will end up as a ranking (of course) of the overall contents and feel of each set of parks in a resort. I shall aim to name 5 signature attractions in each gate and give them a Tier rating from A+ (world class) to E (trash).

Wish me luck.


Space Warrior – dark ride (C)
Dino Rampage – dark ride (D)
Sky Sailor – flying theatre (D)
Mount Tanggula/Vesuvio Volcano – mine train coaster (D)
Flare Meteor – suspended looping coaster (E)

We’ll start with an example of why the first generation Adventure parks aren’t much cop on their own and not particularly worth seeking out. It feels a little unfair to have Shenyang at the bottom because I didn’t mind the place once I had my expectations set super low, but it’s the only standalone version I’ve bothered with (by accident too).
It’s a competent enough theme park in the grand scheme of things, although once you’ve done literally any other Fantawild at all, it just becomes a cred run.

Location notes – The city is half a day away from Beijing in the opposite direction of the rest of the country, so not ideal. The main draw for visiting Shenyang would be the Hotgo resort, although half of it remains unopened. Allowing some breathing room for spite on a trip could result in a visit here, but I wouldn’t go out of the way for it. I didn’t.


Jinshan Temple Showdown/Whitesnake Maiden’s Fury – dark ride & show combo (A+)
Jungle Trailblazer – Gravity Group woodie (A)
Legend of Nuwa – dark ride (A)
Devil’s Peak/The Flaming Mountains – dark ride (B)
Night Rescue – indoor mine train coaster (C)

Personal bias here because I had a really rough day at the Ningbo park. It was my first ever Fantawild experience and it couldn’t have started any worse. Terrible, nonsense weather policies meant that absolutely all of the outdoor attractions were closed for the whole day, so I haven’t actually ridden this Jungle Trailblazer. Fortunately (can’t believe I’m saying this) it has been cloned at another park in this list so my assessment is based on that one. Even the second worst woodie in this post is still an A, so you know these lineups aren’t messing around.
They’re getting a second gate and a big shiny Vekoma so I’m hoping things turn out better when I come back here for that. For now, any Oriental Heritage by it’s own right is a fantastic park and well worth a visit, but I can’t bring myself to recommend this one.

Location notes – Although named after Ningbo, this one is almost equidistant between the outskirts of Shanghai and it’s namesake, albeit over a massive stretch of water/Hangzhou Bay Bridge. The city itself is under 2 hours away from Shanghai with the right train and also contains Romon U-Park, so it’s a decent enough shout from the most commonly visited region for coasters.


Jinshan Temple Showdown/Whitesnake Maiden’s Fury – dark ride & show combo (A+)
Jungle Trailblazer – Gravity Group woodie (A)
Legend of Nuwa – dark ride (A)
Devil’s Peak/The Flaming Mountains – dark ride (B)
Night Rescue – indoor mine train coaster (C)

And the aforementioned clone lives here. It has taken me actually doing this exercise to notice how identical the Jinan and Ningbo parks are and it really pains me that this one only ends up 7th because I absolutely loved the place. If I was doing this park by park and not on resorts then it would place a lot higher.
It marked my second visit to a Fantawild establishment and was the perfect showcase as to how Ningbo should have been, sparking the honeymoon phase of my relationship with the chain. As an added bonus (since I’ve been), there’s been a mini expansion (a small family coaster) and it is now home to the most creds in any of these parks.
From the gorgeous aesthetics of the place to the cracking ride lineup, you can’t really go wrong in Jinan.

Location notes – Jinan can be as quick as 90 minutes away from Beijing by train, so a day trip from the capital would be possible. As a better alternative it’s a decent stop off point within the golden triangle, particularly if you’re doing both Beijing and Shanghai in a single trip. Quancheng Euro Park is just up the road but if you’re new to the chain then please don’t try and do them in the same day. Soak this one up first.


Oriental Heritage
Legend of Nuwa – dark ride (A)
Jungle Trailblazer – Gravity Group woodie (B)
Dragon King’s Tale/Rumble Under The Sea – dark ride (B)
Devil’s Peak/The Flaming Mountains – dark ride (B)
Galaxy Express – Vekoma suspended family coaster (C)

Dreamland
Jinshan Temple Showdown/Whitesnake Maiden’s Fury – dark ride & show combo (A+)
Qin Dynasty Adventure – dark ride (A)
Wizard Academy – dark ride (C)
Mount Tanggula/Vesuvio Volcano – mine train coaster (D)
Terror Twister – Maurer Sky Loop (E)

Things are getting tougher now because every resort I’ve done from here on in contains at least one of the A+ attractions – Jinshan Temple Showdown in some form or another, which justifies a visit all by itself.
Xiamen is the first 2 gate establishment in the list and mainly suffers from having the weakest Jungle Trailblazer in the country. Aside from that, all I can really say is the location doesn’t lend itself well to any theme park based route through China. A solid pick, but only if it works for you.

Location notes – 4 hours in the wrong direction from any other major parks, you’d have to be as desperate as me to want to add this to any itinerary. In a moment of particular insanity I even considered going by boat from Taiwan. Don’t.


Oriental Heritage
Jungle Trailblazer – Gravity Group woodie (A)
Legend of Nuwa – dark ride (A)
Dragon King’s Tale/Rumble Under The Sea – dark ride (B)
Devil’s Peak/The Flaming Mountains – dark ride (B)
Night Rescue – indoor mine train coaster (C)

Dreamland

Jinshan Temple Showdown/Whitesnake Maiden’s Fury – dark ride & show combo (A+)
Qin Dynasty Adventure – dark ride (A)
*2 major shows – did not experience (?)
Wizard Academy – dark ride (C)
Golden Whirlwind – Sameco Looping Coaster (E)

The weather spited my first attempt at this one and I tried to use that opportunity to experience more indoor attractions and do some shows, of which this resort has many. Bad weather means absolutely no one turns up and the day is a complete write off so the park don’t bother to run anything anyway. That plan failed.
On a redemption visit I only allowed a single day, starting with the good and then rushing the bad, missing the signature shows yet again. I believe they’d elevate the experience, but can’t guarantee.
If this is your first Fantawild resort then allow 2 days or you’ll likely miss too much with the time slot based attractions. If things go well there’s even some bonus creds and you can complete the hat trick in a third Adventure park in Wuhu, at the complete opposite end of the city.

Location notes – 3 hours from Shanghai, but an easy day trip from many other significant cities in the region. Under an hour from either Nanjing (a good base with nothing in it yet) or Hefei (for the Sunac park). Other than Ningbo, it’s probably the most conveniently located Fantawild resort for theme parking in and around Shanghai, but that part of China is becoming so basic – buck the trend.


Magic Gallery – dark ride (A+)
Celestial Gauntlet – Vekoma coaster (A)
Legend of Nuwa – dark ride (A)
River of Tales – dark ride (B)
Xin Zhui – show (B)

It physically hurts me to put this park in in 4th. I had tears in my eyes on the way out of the place – it was that good. It’s the newest build I’ve done to date and absolutely sealed the deal on my rejuvenated passion for Fantawild parks.
They’re stepping the theming up even now and they still have the capactity to invent new mind blowing dark rides. I didn’t think they had it in them to exceed themselves any more and then Magic Gallery happened. Things aren’t stagnating forever, there’s already infrastructure for a second gate here and I’m so excited for their future.
But, and it’s a big but, it doesn’t have a woodie and the Vekoma just can’t compete.

Location notesIf it wasn’t what felt like 500 miles from the next resort in the list, even though you can daytrip both from Changsha equally comfortably, we’d have a winner. There’s always the option of ignoring my criteria and doing that anyway. The city is a pretty big hub in itself these days, with a good little triangle between Nanchang (for the Sunac Park) and Wuhan (Happy Valley) all within a couple of hours of each other. If you’re on a particularly long trip, Changsha is very central and a good stop off for almost any cross country direction.


Dreamland
Jungle Trailblazer – Gravity Group woodie (A+)
Jinshan Temple Showdown/Whitesnake Maiden’s Fury – dark ride & show combo (A+)
Qin Dynasty Adventure – dark ride (A)
Dragon King’s Tale/Rumble Under The Sea – dark ride (B)
Devil’s Peak/The Flaming Mountains – dark ride (B)

Adventure
Space Warrior – dark ride (C)
Dino Rampage – dark ride (D)
Sky Sailor – flying theatre (D)
Mount Tanggula/Vesuvio Volcano – mine train coaster (D)
Flare Meteor – suspended looping coaster (E)

It’s not worth calling these next two a resort because the way they’re split you simply don’t need the 2nd park for anything but creds. With no Oriental Heritage to steal the spotlight, the Dreamlands end up getting it all.
The Jungle Trailblazer here is a clone of Fjord Flying Dragon at rival chain Happy Valley’s Tianjin park and that also took the edge off for me slightly even if it is one of my all time favourite rides.
Weaknesses over the below? A Boomerang instead of A Vekoma SFC and the 2nd best woodie instead of the 1st best.
For a one day visit, you can’t get a much better representation of 2nd Gen Fantawild.

Location notesForget it’s called Zhuzhou, do it from Changsha. Other than that, see above.


Dreamland
Jungle Trailblazer – Gravity Group woodie (A+)
Jinshan Temple Showdown/Whitesnake Maiden’s Fury – dark ride & show combo (A+)
Qin Dynasty Adventure – dark ride (A)
Dragon King’s Tale/Rumble Under The Sea – dark ride (B)
Devil’s Peak/The Flaming Mountains – dark ride (B)

Adventure
Space Warrior – dark ride (C)
Dino Rampage – dark ride (D)
Sky Sailor – flying theatre (D)
Mount Tanggula/Vesuvio Volcano – mine train coaster (D)
Terror Twister – Maurer Sky Loop (E)

Except for this one of course. The same, but better. We’ve already had some world class woodies in the list and words cannot describe how this one takes the cake (well, they will when I get round to writing them down).
I had issues with the logistics of this resort. Thanks to the official transport we got stranded on the wrong of a massive road, their customer service was abysmal and the place angered me. My first Adventure park angered me even more. The Dreamland park was the perfect remedy for my foul mood and in a matter of moments I fell in love again (this keeps happening).
It’s only a snapshot and likely to change at any time but they’re the only example of the 2nd Gen parks that I saw actively running preshows for their dark rides. Given how intensely themed the queue areas for these attractions are, having the excuse to stop and appreciate that with some back story only elevated things further.
Bottom line – save all the hassle, get your Didi driver to take you to the door and don’t even bother with the second gate. Trust me, you don’t need that Skyloop. I didn’t, and no doubt you’ve seen what I’m like on here.

Location notesThey call Zhengzhou the crossroads of the Chinese high speed rail system, but it’s quite far from anything else to consider doing as an in and out and much better to do it in passing. The golden triangle was bound to come up again – Beijing, Shanghai and Xi’an, but I’ll add Changsha into the mix and make it a diamond. If you’re doing any 2 of those in one trip then you can easily knock off this city en route.


Jungle Trailblazer – Gravity Group woodie (A+)
Hero of Malacca – dark ride & show combo (A+)
Rama & Sita – dark ride (A)
Meeting in Ha Long Bay – dark ride (A)
Colourful Trip – dark ride (B)

We’ve made it to the top at last. If you want the most concentrated injection of what Fantawild really has to offer you then look no further than this one park. No second gate, no distractions. It’s a visual feast.
The park is a compilation, but it’s also all new stories and it shows off Fantawild at their most creative. Everything’s fresh, clean, wonderful and from what I saw they intend to keep it that way, unlike certain other places. After doing 5 things the same at all the others this park finally got me excited again and I haven’t stopped being since.
They have the best woodie, again (I hate them for cloning my fav… *bites fist* not now) and they have an awe-inspiring alternative version of their signature dark ride.
In going through ths list with all the pairings of JTs and JTSs, everything above us was lacking the complementary pinnacle of their home grown pure dark rides – they never had a Nüwa in the same gate.
Nor does this park, but it has a Sita (same tech, new story).
The boring and stupid Chinese Opera ride is no more and they’ve replaced it with a heart warming tale filled with mesmerising scenes (and smells).
I didn’t even get to try everything due to a couple of closures, but on top of all that there’s many, many more quality dark rides and shows (and a Wacky Worm) to give you one of the fullest days an empty Chinese park has to offer.

The only problem with this park being different to all the rest is that it’ll make you want to try another one.
Wait…
That’s a good thing.

Location notesDefinitely not the default go-to area for a Chinese theme park trip yet, but the region has improved significantly with just the opening of this one. Under 3 hours from Guangzhou on certain trains, it can be reasonably be incorporated into a southern trip if you stay over. There’s also a rubbish Wanda park just over a bridge.


Rollercoaster Ranking – Thorpe Park

While trawling through the Parks & Trip Reports page checking for dead space it struck me that there’s no love on here for good old Thorpe Park. Having lived less than an hour away from it since birth and having gone to the place far too much already, obviously I’ve never written a trip report about it.

From having family focus and a farm to becoming the nation’s thrill capital, Thorpe has seen quite a change over the years. Sadly my first visit (the one where I didn’t ride anything anyway) took place in the midst of this transition so I never got to experience the park when it had dark rides and stuff. There’s also been an unhealthy dose of remove the good and install the bad more recently and I could spend a while moaning about that, but there’s enough of that around already.

Today I’ll just have to cast history aside and talk about rollercoasters again.
If you want the former, here’s a man getting emotional about it.
If you want the latter, there’s only 7 of them, I won’t keep you long.


#7 Flying Fish

Struggling for pictures here, but there’s only one place to start this list. Runaway Train at Chessington was one of the first major attractions I ever rode and this Fish is just the same thing in a field with none of the effort.

Ooh, struggling to pick what comes next. I think it’s this although I always enjoyed the onride atmosphere whether it was in backwards mode or rave mode (awful, awful queue). As a coaster it never really gets going thanks to the multiple block sections and we would often use the time spent on these discussing how one could utilise these to improve the experience.
Surprisingly I haven’t yet actually seen the real life attempt at this, in the form of The Walking Dead: The Ride.
Circa 2018 I still held a Thorpe only annual pass because it was dirt cheap and I liked to pop in for a couple of hours when the opportunities arose. They held an introductory event for passholders but the retheme failed to open to the public on that day. So they invited us back several months later for an ‘even more special’ introductory event. And it failed to open again.
The same year I noticed that I couldn’t even blitz the park on a mid week September visit (i.e. empty) without queueing what I would personally consider to be extortionate amounts of time (i.e. 20 minutes) and I haven’t been back since.

This is a shame, because the ride is (was) a legend. No points for creativity on the layout itself, but the way they blended this huge, record breaking coaster into the landscape is totally admirable.
I used to like the ride a lot. It provided me with my very first inversions (all 10 of them) and I remember a time when doing back to back laps of the thing to close out the day was an exciting prospect and something to be proud of.
Now it’s just there, steadily getting less interesting as hundreds more of the same model get thrown up around the world without a second thought. I have no desire to ride it any more because a) it’s not that good and b) it’s not that special.
Stop me please, I’m moaning about clones again, but this is one of the reasons why – status.
Colossus was a big name in the UK, even just being a rollercoaster that your average person knows by name is an achievement in itself. It broke records, set standards, had an identity. Then China builds a couple more of the same – oh no, it’s not unique any more but it’s alright, I’m the only man who actually experiences this sacrilegious act. Oops, watch out, there’s one in Italy. And then this daft idea happens and I’ll say no more.

#4 Stealth

From one British icon to another, I won’t mention the fact that this one got cloned too. It bothers me less because you’d hardly call this a layout and it’s become a bit of a ride type in its own right – a way of making things go very high and nothing else.
Aside from the lightning quick duration of the ride I have to admit that the sensation of launches on their own don’t particularly excite me any more. It’s my own loss, I’ve just ended up doing a few too many and the impact just isn’t as prominent as it once was. Once that’s gone, there’s nothing much left of Stealth. A bit of an ‘nnnnnngh’ into shoulder restraints over brake fins and the sound of someone’s makeup bag exploding into the car around you.
Unlike Colossus this ride still has presence though, and I appreciate that. The strong thematic experience of the whole Amity area with the seemingly endless Big Bob on WWTP radio loops, the existence of Tidal Wave and side plot of ’50s drag racing might just be the most quality thing about Thorpe Park.

#3 Saw: The Ride

Despite it being the first rollercoaster I really followed the construction of, I took basically no pictures of this once it opened. All I’ve got is this terrible one that wouldn’t even pass as ‘artsy’.
There may be some twisted reason as to why I did follow this one, beyond the fact that I was old enough to have free reign of the internet and it was being built at my local park. I was also a fan of the Saw franchise. Mmm… torture porn.
I was talking about status above and things just stick in your mind about some rides.
1) There was a BBC Radio 2 talk show about how inappropriate the branding of this ride was. The arguments amused me to no end and I just enjoyed the fact that it was getting attention.
2) Based on hearing this my Dad decided to start telling me to stop riding these rollercoasters because the forces aren’t good for your brain (1000 later he still does! Sorry).
3) It made my cousin cry.
This type of stuff helps a ride to become a legend in it’s own right and the fact that it has both retained the brand and remained uniqu-
“Excuse me.”
“Wait, what?” There’s one in Australia? Oh it’s alright, I haven’t done that one yet and err… it has a different theme.”
“Hypocrite.”
-as an attraction means that Saw: The Ride still interests me.
It’s far from the best of coasters but I do enjoy the dark ride elements and on the days when the train decides not to slow down in the second half of the layout it packs a particularly violent punch.

Aww, I like Swarm. Everyone says it’s boring and bleak and while standing in the queue I’ve literally seen guests playing a game of cards on it mid ride in mock fashion (I hope) of the apparent forcelessness. To illustrate that point better than I ever could, here’s that man again.
Mr. ‘Launches don’t excite me’ over here actually sees stars on the sustained turn around the water so doesn’t personally see the logic.
The near miss elements are cool in the right seat and the inversion over the station is, well, it’s good to watch. Sometimes there’s fire! and the year they turned the back seats around (brave it backwards) was a stroke of genius. I laughed uncontrollably from start to finish on this version, had a ridiculous amount of fun and miss it deeply.

#1 Nemesis Inferno

Another UK park, another B&M invert at the top. It’s no wonder I used to consider it one of the most consistent ride types in the world (don’t worry, just like everything else I’ve since put myself off that idea too). Inferno feels like the most complete rollercoaster package in the park, partly thanks to the quirky little pre-lift dive through the volcano but mostly just from the fact that it’s the most quality piece of hardware at Thorpe.
There’s a flow and grace to these that you’ll struggle to find anywhere else in the country and it seems to be getting more forceful as the years go by – ageing like a good cheese. Personally I’ve never been offended by the whole Nemesis branding comparison because I’m not overly attached to the original and in my eyes they’re definitely not worlds apart as an onboard experience. I view this one just for what it is and it’s a cracking coaster.

Bonus Round

My favourite ride in the park isn’t actually a rollercoaster and I wanted to give a shout out to Detonator. Whenever I spent a cheeky hour in the park it was Swarm, this, Inferno, this, leave. Buzzing.
I’m not big on flat rides but I am a sucker for drop towers. With the majority of my hobbying life now dominated by a lack of butterflies in the stomach on even the most vicious of airtime, a top tier drop tower can still have that gorgeous effect on me and this is a prime example, right on my doorstep.
This little Fabbri absolutely destroys most of the much more significant towers I’ve ridden throughout the world. They’re all heartless, soulless and comparatively forceless. Whether Thorpe are playing the ticking time bomb soundtracks, mindgames over the microphone or running it in absolute silence it still gets my nerves going. It cheats, supposedly, it kicks the car downwards rather than leaving things to pure freefall, and that makes all the difference. Why can’t they all do that?


Ride Review – Skyrush

I had just finished writing up the Flying Aces review when it truly struck me how similar my whole fairytale experiences with Intamin Wing Coasters were. By the time I made it to Hersheypark I already knew it could happen this way and yet, for whatever reason, I didn’t expect everything to repeat itself in quite the same manner.

We spent so much time on this ride rather than underneath it and it was surrounded by Candymonium construction during the visit so apologies for the lack of quality pictures. All you need to know is it’s big, yellow and deceiving.

The morning laps began as soon as the ride opened and the first was more memorable to me due to the other guests in our row than from the onboard experience itself. Clearly local enthusiasts, they had managed to fit both Dorney Park and Knoebels into the first sentence uttered and as the train raced up the ridiculous fast lifthill, leaving me totally unprepared, there were loud hoots, hollers and screams of “Phoenix 1958!”

For whatever reason this had me in fits of laughter over the drop, which punished me for not paying attention by violently throwing me forward in my seat. I had forgotten the most commonly criticised aspect of this ride in that the sheer lack of substance on the lap bars is far less forgiving than what I was used to on the subsequent creation, perhaps even any ride ever.

The traditional hills were manageable, with the famliar dig into the thigh that can leave you bruised after a good coaster marathon, but when the train hit a couple of sharp transitions and the winged seat I had chosen flew up or down in response, I was taking all the weight directly to one leg and it was rather uncomfortable to say the least. There’s absolutely nothing to hold onto with this train design, no way to brace as you’re going along and that made it both exhilarating and excruciating.

I can see why this becomes a dealbreaker to some, and it’s very unfortunate if you do fall victim to this because, quite simply, you’ll be missing out on something spectacular. Personally, I attempted to rectify the situation on our second lap by sliding forward and taking the bar into the hip joint as opposed to bare leg bone. This fixed everything about it 100%. I was able to fully immerse myself in the remainder of the experience following this minor revelation.

And once again, for whatever reason, I liked Skyrush in the morning but thought it wasn’t all that. I came off thinking there’s some good airtime in there but nothing special. Over lunch I said it’s probably no better than something like Piraten’s airtime pound for pound and by 14:30 that day we were sat on a ferris wheel having completed the park, coming up with some stupid plans to leave and go elsewhere.
Yet again I could have left too soon and never really got to know the ride properly. I didn’t believe lightning could strike twice and that we’d be having the Flying Aces situation again but thankfully, THANKFULLY, the late opening of Storm Runner shot down our other plans.

So we returned to the lair of the beast with an hour left on the clock. Darkness shrouded the layout and there may well have been a full moon in effect causing this sudden change. How is it that different, why is it now creating all of these sensations that simply were not there earlier?
Alright, the first drop was probably the same. I always loved that bit, the wild momentum of the super fast cable lift just chucking you over the edge without a second thought and then the totally unique shaping of the track – with the tiniest of almost vertical kinks halfway down deciding to almost have you out of the train head over hills.

It really is a struggle to keep your hands (and legs) up throughout the whole layout, to not instinctively just reach out and try and grab hold of something, anything to stop you either feeling like you’re falling out or to reduce the numbing pain being inflicted on your body by a thin metal bar and nothing else.

But it wasn’t just the airtime hills, which are truly outstanding in their own right. It’s the unsuspecting moments that really make Skyrush stand out for me. The entrance to a corner, that should be boring right? Nope. The train decides it’s just going to try and lose a couple of riders out the side there with a vicious lateral snap. A slight change of direction? Nah, that won’t do mu-BAM, I’ve just been ragdolled vertically down 10ft before I can think. These moments don’t happen on any other ride type and for that reason alone it’s so gorgeously refreshing to experience these extremes.

It’s no exaggeration to say that we were struggling to walk as the night went on. The lure of another ride was so compelling that even though the body might be saying no, the mind just kept on plodding down the stairs, round the station, back up the other stairs, straight into the back row, no questions asked. Again, and again, and again.
If anything, that short walk provided some momentary relief and so, as if to top it all off, as the last train of the day pulled back into the station the staff decided to offer everyone a second consecutive lap just for the hell of it. The bars had just been lifted as this announcement was made and I had already instantly stood up, as we instinctively had to in order to stop our legs falling off. “No… I just can’t go round again… please, no…” The words came out, but there was no attempt to leave and the ride host was already there, we had fallen back in our seats, the bar was down. What have we done?

There’s a very exclusive club of rides that provide me with a truly magical moment, where the stars align and all you feel inside is pure joy at what you’re doing right here, right now. It happened again on Skyrush as we were sent round to our deaths one more time, against our will. A brief moment of contemplation looking out at the lights of the Pennsylvania night – this is perfection and there’s no place I’d rather be.
And then it kills you.

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Ride Review – Flying Aces

There’s a certain ride type that remains a bit of an enigma to me. Most of the coasters amongst my all time favourites made their intentions pretty clear to me over the first few laps, but the Intamin Wing Coaster is all about the element of surprise. If things had played out differently during my visit, this ride probably wouldn’t have made the list and I likely wouldn’t be writing about it at all. Luckily there’s a bit of a fairytale ending.

Located at Ferrari World in Abu Dhabi, home of the world’s fastest rollercoaster, Flying Aces has an unusual physical setup. The entrance is found indoors, part of the expansive overall indoor complex that makes up the park. Every piece of the ride bar the station is outdoors, in the burning sand.
It leads you through an extensive heavily themed queue of rocks, jungle, artifacts and videos inspired by the adventures of Francesco Baracca, a famous Italian fighter pilot from World War I whose plane carried the logo that later became that of Ferrari itself. It’s quite rare for an attraction of this nature to have such an historic influence, so that alone makes it stand out for me in terms of theming. The sound effects of planes flying overhead as you move through the area is loud to the point of deafening (accurate then) but luckily, as with all the parks I experienced in the UAE, it was very quiet and we never had to stick around and hear it for very long.

The route ends behind closed doors in front of the usual air gates, concealing the ride a little longer and maintaining the mystery of what’s to come. Even the station gives very little away, other than the huge and imposing rollercoaster trains with their two-up two-down winged seats and minimal lap bars of course. The outside world is also sealed off by a pair of doors that, once dispatch is pressed and you hear the noise of the plane firing up, fly open to reveal the scorching hot desert sun. And this.

The world’s steepest and fastest cable lift isn’t just a bragging right, it’s a thing of wonder. Before you have time to think, you’re being dragged up to the top at such a ridiculous pace that it feels like you’re just a toy for the ride to play with. I love that about Flying Aces, it’s a character moment – “whether you like it or not, you’re coming with me now.”
In the daytime, these outdoor rides in ~50°C were an interesting phenomenon in themselves. Of course while you’re moving and the wind is blowing through your hair, you don’t really feel the heat. As soon as the brake run hits, it felt like I was on fire – shouting to the ride to hurry up and get back inside.

I was actually in the UAE as part of a work trip for some global conference, so had the rare opportunity to bring a colleague along to experience this park for the first time with me. For the initial lap I had us sitting apart in the back wing seats, not to be anti-social but because clearly that’s the best place to be – one of the usual alien concepts to your average visitor. He had done nothing of this scale before and was of course blown away by the experience. I wish I could have shared in those initial moments of sheer unprecendented terror, but battle-hardened me found it all a bit par for the course. I was asked as we made our way through the exit what I would rate the ride out of 10 and, to great surprise, all I could muster was an “umm… 7?”

It was definitely really good, but I simply couldn’t avoid drawing up comparisons between other rides, in particular the Intamin Mega coasters and to me at that moment, Flying Aces was no more special. I didn’t know what it was trying to achieve in focusing on a range of elements like the ‘world’s tallest non-inverting loop’, whatever that means, rather than the obvious airtime machines like Expedition GeForce which only have one thing on their mind. Was it a jack of all trades, master of none?

We tried it a couple of more times spaced out during the day and not much changed for me. It was starting to become a bit much for my companion though – oh to feel like that again. In the afternoon we were also joined by my boss who wanted to see what the place was all about. Sadly we didn’t manage to coax him onto the two biggest rides and instead whiled away the day on the lesser attractions, though I had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind. I really want to like Flying Aces – I should give it some more attention later.

After some photo laps in the outdoor viewing areas, we ended up leaving the park in the early evening (under my command of course) to go hunting for a cred in the mall, where the more unusual side of my hobby was witnessed for the first time and er… admired? to a degree. Apparently the phrase “I’ve never seen such dedication in a man” was used as I stood in a queue surrounded by small children for the stupidest of little coasters that actually causes physical pain with its shoulder restraints. Following that we sat down for a relaxed meal in the food court.
I had it in my head that Ferrari World was open until 22:00 so there was plenty of time to give my clear favourite from the day another opportunity to impress me. For some reason, halfway through a large (and amazing) sandwich I decided to confirm this fact and discovered that it was actually closing at 20:00.
“What’s the time now?”
“Just gone 7.”
“Oops, bye!”

Leaving the mortals behind (they were done for the day) I walked as fast as I could back through the mall to the park, simultaneously devouring the significant remainder of the sandwich and downing at least half a litre of Sprite in the process. This was where I didn’t miss being inexperienced – I had been cruising all day and felt like it had only just begun, skipping through the queue alone in giddy excitement. I also imagine walking straight onto an intense rollercoaster while eating a meal makes most people feel ill.

I don’t understand how, but Flying Aces was completely different at night and I couldn’t be more glad that I gave it another chance. The ride was doing things to me that just weren’t happening earlier on, but it wasn’t just that, it was doing things to me that I had never felt before, on any rollercoaster. I fully believed those days were gone.

The earlier comparison to Intamin Megas is an important one because though I do enjoy them a lot, those rides have a glaring issue for me and that’s the predictability of the layout. You see an airtime hill up in front of you and you expect glorious airtime. It generally happens, and that’s great, but it’s diminished by the anticipation. The absolute best moments on rides for me are the unexpected ones and in the winged seats of Flying Aces, suddenly nothing was riding anything like how it appeared it should.

What seemed to be a gradual upwards curve into a reasonably drawn out hill, as pictured on the right here, would actually deliver an insanely unprecedented burst of what can only be described as sideways airtime. I wasn’t just being chucked up out of my seat in the usual fashion, I was simultaneously getting thrown laterally, colliding hard with the side of the restraint as the entirely free top half of my body tries to fold itself over the edge and completely leave the train. This ride is actually trying to kill me now and I can’t emphasise enough how good that feels.

All the twists and turns that had seemed a little meandering in the morning now had the capability to provide moments like I just described and as I moved through the various seats of the train during my glorious night time marathon, this never became predictable. I was at the complete mercy of the plane at all times and loving every second of it. Through lap after lap of it hauling up that lift hill I must have had the most stupid grin on my face. The playful character of the ride was back and better than ever and I found myself uncontrollably laughing with glee at the mere thought of what was to come each time. It’s rare when you get a moment this magical on a ride but it always serves as the greatest reminder of exactly what this hobby is all about.

It seems to me that Intamin’s best creations come out of experimentation and pushing the boundaries and this serves as the perfect example. I can’t imagine that they knew what they were really dealing with making with this ride type. I’d like to think that all the computer simulations in the world couldn’t show you the physics of what’s actually going on here and in my humble opinion things should definitely stay that way. If we come any closer to engineering perfection with these rides, then it may well extinguish the spark that makes something so special.

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