Though it was of course entirely worth it, that later night at Energylandia didn’t end up doing us any favours. After all the previous traffic tragedies, Poland really took things to another level by leaving us stuck at the tail end of a motorway accident until 3am as we attempted to make headway to the German border, in a queue so bad that even the recovery truck couldn’t get through due to poor ‘parking’, people leaving their cars and/or falling asleep at the wheel.
Day 16 – Erlebniswelt Seilbahnen Thale
The original plan of an early start the next day was of course abandoned after that travesty and so we needed to settle on a much more relaxed itinerary to accompany the crossing of Germany. This resulted in visiting just one humble collection of Wiegand equipment, set of course against a wonderful backdrop.
The town of Thale is situated in a part of Germany that has a strong association with witches and other fun devilment.
They have some big mountains, devils on benches, senior citizens yodelling
and of course rides. All of the equipment here is self-operated in true German fashion, you can load up a card with points at a ticket desk and use it as contactless payment to trigger the despatch of any ride at the push of a button.
#1 Boderitt is one of Wiegand’s rarer Mystical Hex models, in this case with cool looking cauldron cars. For being such an open vehicle it was rather scary in the backwards facing seat as it swung rather enthusiastically from side to side and left me unable to prepare myself for anything. Backwards is good.
The place is also home to their prototype suspended design and first of their rides to be called #2 Hexenbesen or ‘witches broom’, of course in homage to the region. It’s a wacky contraption that involves solo riders laying on a crash mat inside a tube, again pushing the dispatch button yourself and ‘flying’ your way down to the bottom of the layout.
Where you unceremoniously have to slide out backwards and clear the area before the car can take itself back up the lift hill. Fascinating, and great fun.
Away from all that are the cable cars with alternate bonus glass floors that are scratched and pointless.
They take you up to the top of the mountain to find one more piece of Wiegand wares.
And more witches.
Getting back on the old dual rail style felt like a bit of a downgrade after recent experiences. #3 Harzbob is also a bit of a short and unremarkable version of the hardware, but it’s all part of the adventure. Also helped that it was open.
That’s pretty much it for yet another transit day. Germany became the latest in a long line of countries that didn’t really want us to get anywhere in any hurry and, having crossed the entire width of the country, it was time to make camp in a particularly populous region of theme parks, old and new.
One year on, the pull of Poland, or more specifically Energylandia, is still strong. Two new creds and another opportunity to experience Europe’s best one-two punch was all the persuading we needed to pop in again while in the area.
Day 15 – Energylandia
Of course it wasn’t just any old two creds. One of them is multi-launch sensation Abyssus, a coaster that I was once super excited by, though time, delays and riding most of the other recent Vekomas had caused those feelings to fade somewhat.
We headed straight to the back of the park for it, on a walk that manages to be even more exhausting than ever. The chocolate mine train thing that they’re building appears to be cutting off what will eventually be a quicker access route to the new Aqualantis area, so for now it’s a walk to Zadra… and then some. It’s no mean feat for first thing in the morning, particularly if you’re parked on the awful stoney car park right out in the corn fields. Luckily this meant basically no one had arrived yet, in a case of what I like to call Forbidden Valley syndrome, so our morning laps were mostly queueless.
So, how was #1 Abyssus? It begins with one of those awkward clicky launches that don’t quite sit right with me. I forget what other ride(s) do(es) it, but it definitely doesn’t happen on better coasters with LSMs. It’s sudden, but subtle, a very quick transition from nothing to everything as if to get over that initial inertia, before instantly dialling it back to a gradual ramping of acceleration. If you’re not doing ‘heads back, face forward, hold on tight and brace yourself’ it’ll tap you in the back of the head for it, just enough to be bothersome, but it won’t then keep it there with any force. I’m probably not describing it right but it feels unrefined and meh.
A mild twisty section follows, interspersed with a couple of promising airtime hill teasers. It’s quite a short section of track before hitting the second launch running. I always love a good rolling launch, though I’m not sure the satisfaction of it extending the ride time is quite there when you haven’t really done anything notable or special so far.
That propels you up into this turnaround top hat thing which is rather unremarkable upon entry and then (in the back at least) gives a weird sensation of ‘trying to eject you’ *pause* ‘trying to eject you again’ thanks to the silly trim brake.
The vertical loopings is up next, which gives that not-so-great bland sustain feeling from the likes of Lech, before hitting the highlight moment in the form of this strong hill towards the station, much like Lech. It’s well framed too of course, I can’t knock the aesthetics.
Ducking under the station leads into the Batwing. It might just be a weird ‘feeling I get’, but this to me is like 21st century Arrow coaster territory. Yes, we’re inverting, but why?
Things get a bit more varied after that, as it begins to rather elegantly bounce between the twists and turns and airtime hills that go on to give quite a lengthy and satisfying ride experience, leaning at last on one of the strengths I find in a multi-launch where I sometimes catch myself thinking ‘oh yes, we’re not done yet.’
The corkscrew’s rather decent. Some of these later moments deliver far better than others though, and not necessarily in a good way. It tries to do one of those funky sideways hills to keep up with the cool kids, like they did on the Space Warp models, but it’s really just a visual and doesn’t do much of anything. The train seems to run out of steam in the final few seconds as well, which I find further throws the pacing off. We had to be trimmed earlier to stop us greying out and now there’s not quite enough gas in the tank to end on a high.
I’m still not entirely sure how to feel about all that, it’s a very conflicting ride for me. Aside from all the negativity I managed to bring out in that blow by blow, some of which is simply annoying me even more as I type it, I actually liked Abyssus far more than I had (eventually) expected to. It’s no gamechanger, it’s not spectacular by any means and yet it’s still really good fun.
It’s not like anything else in this particular market and I think that appeals to the side of me that still loves to try new things that break the mould a bit. That doesn’t mean that what they’ve achieved is necessarily for the better, but they’ve developed their own style that is distinguishable from the competition and that is at the very least satisfying and refreshing to experience. I can also see why that has turned into what I believe is a somewhat misplaced fascination with what Vekoma are doing right now. For me this is their best work yet and I can’t even see why it wouldn’t make the sacred top 10%, but that doesn’t stop me picking a hundred holes in it.
Enough waffle, there’s another coaster to be had.
#2 Light Explorers, the park’s second junior boomerang and sixth or seventh Vekoma has a more linear layout to contrast the original. It’s all rather nicely decorated and set over this watery landscape. I do dig the Atlantis vibe they’ve got going on, though it’s clearly not finished yet and there seem to be still quite a few placeholders for things left to do. It’s nice that each of the new areas give off an aesthetic that can’t really be found in the bulk of the main park.
Something is calling to us in the distance though. With everything new out of the way it was back to Energylandia basics. Once you’ve trimmed away all the fat there’s nothing left to do but see the day out by bouncing between Zadra and Hyperion.
We began on the former, which is still a ridiculous thing of epic magnitude and instantly casts aside any doubt of what an actual top tier coaster rides like, just in case Vekoma had you doubting yourself for a minute in the midst of your filler-filled two-week coaster marathon. The first drop was better than I remember. The massive airtime hill was slightly worse than I remember. Perfectly balanced as all things should be and Zadra remains exactly where it was in my mind.
Hyperion still had a hilarious vibration to it in my personal favourite seats (outside back row). For me this only adds to the experience, spicing up those moments like the return hill that just don’t quite hit the mark amongst an otherwise outstanding coaster. Character. It may as well be a woodie at this point.
Somehow across a two day visit last time we never found the time to queue what seems to be a perpetual 20 minutes for the dark ride here. Now it’s supposed to be one of my things I do, there was no excuse, though it still felt like time not well spent in those switchbacks. And the feelings are justified; Monster House is a pretty awful ghost train with zero atmosphere. The lighting, the audio, the alien things just don’t add up to a cohesive experience. Hasn’t this already been revamped as well?
The park had been decently busy all day, almost to the point of unpleasantness in certain areas like the Zadra zone, what with Oktoberfest going on, and there being lots of extra food and drink stalls crammed in. There were far too many bodies at certain times of day, but this was rewarded with a park-wide announcement of an extension to the opening hours from 6pm to 8pm. Can’t argue with that.
It all turned into a bit of a game at the end of the evening, trying to maximise opportunity, minimise queues and get the optimum number of laps on each of the big boys to then end the day with an Abyssus pseudo-night ride that had previously not even been an option. There’s always some worry as the day draws to a close at Energylandia, they do have an over-eagerness to add and remove trains on rides as and when the queue times fluctuate, constantly chasing their tails a bit and when you’re waiting at least half an hour a pop it can easily cost you a precious lap or two.
Everything ran almost too perfectly though. Hyperion got stupidly busy as soon as we left it, Zadra clung on to those two train ops until just after we departed and the night ended by running like idiots to Abyssus, hoping they wouldn’t shut the queue early in order to ‘clear the area.’ They didn’t, in fact we ended up on it twice in the dark as almost no one else in the park appeared to want to commit to ending the day so far from the main entrance. It wasn’t a patch on the other night rides available here, but it was still pretty damn special.
Well now, I’ve gone and surprised myself by managing to make it to the end without ever uttering the words vest restraints.
The next morning found us crossing yet another border in search of creds and this time it was time to check out the Czech Republic.
Day 14 – Merlin’s Kinderwelt
One of the more last minute changes of our itinerary was the inclusion of this park. Czech were the last of the countries we visited on this trip to alter their rules from an absolute ban to ‘everyone’s welcome now, yay’ and the news had come in during one of our daily rundowns back in France.
It’s about the closest thing the country has to an ‘amusement park’ at the moment and sits right on the border with Austria.
Context shot, though this is one of many entrances that we didn’t use, I believe it leads to the indoor section. The park is all part of a larger complex called Excalibur City which includes a casino, mall and Asian supermarket. You can seemingly park pretty much anywhere you want and just wander in from any direction, but the outdoor section is where the good stuff lives.
Like this. There are a couple of token machines dotted around each area, taking cash only (Koruna or Euro) and not giving change. Most of the rides are unattended and operated as and when required, so before buying anything we made our intentions known to a wandering staff member, who gave the slightest of positive indications that he could run what we wanted.
And what we wanted was this poor beast, #1 Sliding Caterpillar. He’s tired and obviously had a hard life, but evidently couldn’t be happier. The train barely makes it up the first helix and then gets rather rowdy in the second half.
The other coaster lives over in a second outdoor section, across a road, the entirety of which was patrolled by an especially friendly staff member who pointed us in the direction of a second token machine and subsequently fired up the ride for us.
#2 Space Roller Coaster, a classic Golden Horse Space Car. Well, not so classic for Europe I guess. This one also ran like a beast.
And with that, the park was complete, along with the country, from a twisted point of view. Plopsa have sunk their teeth in and are opening a Majaland at some point in the near future and they have about 20 alpine coasters in various forms, but who needs a Czech alpine coaster when you can have a Slovak alpine coaster?
The original plan for this transit day to Poland, before the good news, had been just to pick up anything, anything at all in Slovakia to add to the list and see the day out. By Google’s calculations there was still time to do just that, particularly as we had just killed the first park in under 15 minutes of their operations.
What ensued was an endless sequence of yet more European roads letting us down, being overly congested, full of roadworks and generally irksome and so yet again, after a mere 6 and a half hours, we arrived at our destination with just moments to spare.
No-Fun Park Žiarce
Except those spare moments had been used by the operators of this single rail alpine coaster to pack up and go. It was bizarre and a little frustrating that we weren’t the only car full of expectant riders showing up at the last minute only to find we had missed out by mere moments. The staff were already completely blanking a larger group of disgruntled guests who had also arrived in front of us, as they began their winding down procedure.
Having physically suffered somewhat on route, we made a beeline for their toilets instead, which they next tried to lock us out of, all the while acting as though we simply didn’t exist. They lost that particular battle and instead of finishing the job just jumped on a moped and rode off into the sunset.
Almost in mock fashion, several more cars were still pulling into the car park, with many locals getting out and subsequently being disappointed as we sadly strolled back to our own car. I’d estimate they could have had at least another 20 paying riders that evening but obviously closing time is very strict for this particular establishment and not at all influenced by footfall.
Here’s one photo of Slovakia at least, facing away from the wretched place. Oh look, there’s another car rocking up too.
The last ‘major’ park in Austria for me is a bit of a tease. Though coast2coaster would have you thinking it’s a healthy +4, I was shocked and appalled to discover that it’s only really half that. I’m all about that Rattenmühle though, even for the name alone.
First stop was #1 Götterblitz, the original ‘other’ layout of the Mack Youngstar model, a criminally undersold family coaster. This one once again reminded me why that is, they’re offensively smooth and give you just that little bit more to think about with the forces here and there.
Well there’s one of the issues. It was the first time I’ve seen one of these operate and it even had a queue!
The other issue was a Butterfly that, even if it counted, was closed.
The park is still deceivingly large though, there’s a lot of nice looking other stuff around that we didn’t do.
Genius.
Construction, get excited.
And here we are, the main event. #2 Rattenmühle kicked ass, as it rightly should have. It had a very nicely themed station and a unique, interesting and punchy layout. Every time I ride one of these Gerstlauer Bobsleds I keep thinking it’s the new best one.
For all the stuff we didn’t ride the morning had felt a little empty, so we gave this weird looking Stellarium a go, having never seen one before. It’s a cool visual, watching all the arms intertwine and never quite crash into each other, but it lacked a little on force. I was hoping for Magic Carpet style lurches and all I got was a light breeze.
Next stop was the affectionately dubbed ‘other Prater’, a small collection of rides elsewhere in Vienna that should be better than the real thing.
Böhmischer Prater
Spot the inconsistency.
In reality it was a bit of an incohesive place, transitioning awkwardly from interesting heritage
To cheap creds. And you know what we were here for. #3 Shark Trip.
But if you really want a ridiculous hit of creds in Vienna, there’s only one place to be.
Wiener Prater
Doing a solo run of this place at lunchtime, offpeak, was a pretty grim experience that I really didn’t care for. It was a monetary exchange of 50 euros for 11 coasters and nothing more. Staff were rude, the place felt like a dump and it was a complete faff.
This time round I entered the park care free and at ease. A couple of new coasters to grab, a handful of dark rides to try and the opportunity to watch someone else suffer through everything I didn’t have to. That’s how you need to experience this park.
We began at Megablitz, which is the only attraction I gave the honour of a reride, as it was by far my favourite of the bunch last time around. Much like the Jet Stars and Jumbo Jets of earlier in the trip, this Vekoma is a ridiculously forceful set of twists and turns that take place in single file seating and it’s really damn good for what it is. Loving the look that new paint job too, glad to see it getting some attention. It’s a bit off the beaten path compared to most major attractions here and always seems less popular than it should be because of that.
Stuff I enjoyed not doing:
Well, not so much that one. Such a tease.
Stuff I didn’t do but wish I had.
Stuff I did do. Eisberg is amazing and that’s all you need to know.
But for context it’s an interactive dark ride where the ‘guns’ are cameras. It contains elevator lifts, big talking polar bears and tasteful physical comedy. Dangerous for me to say it, but put it on your must do list, with a higher priority than the coasters.
Especially when said coasters involve a #4 Roller Ball, again. Oh well, set complete. Let’s hope they stop at 3.
After sitting out another hundred coasters we decided to dine at another Rollercoaster Restaurant that they now have on park here, next to a Flying Theatre I didn’t really want to pay for and that mercifully doesn’t open in the evenings (5pm close if you’re interested).
The restaurant had a rather different vibe again to ones we’ve tried before, with an emphasis on interactive table games (though not during covid times) and dancing robot arms. The food was good, the service was sneaky. Be wary of being offered ‘sauce’ with a portion of fries like it’s a friendly bonus, it comes as a handful of those ten a penny sachets and they charge you a pound, per sachet, for the privilege. I prefer the places where you order on a tablet for this very reason.
I had two missions for this visit and one of them was to finally suss out what went on in here, with conflicting evidence floating around on the internet. Blue Planet is a dinosaur walkthrough with several disctinct features. Aside from the walking, which contains dinosaurs, it has a mysteriously unattended lift near the start with crude screens on the walls. The lift shakes around for what feels like an age, playing loud sound effects and trying to intimidate you with repetitive footage of angry dinosaurs. It ain’t very good.
You then walk through some dinosaurs and come to the fun part, a mysteriously unattended simulator room under the name Dino Tour. As you enter and sit down, the doors shut you in and a statuesque driver with elf ears (no idea why) pretends to take you through the jungle a bit while the room jiggles around in all directions. Animatronic dinosaurs attack from the outside, all physical, things get scary and then you have to escape.
You then walk through some dinosaurs and come to the other fun part, a mysteriously unattended lift with an open side that descends down a rock face. Halfway down, big old dinosaur (not pictured) comes out of the rock to get you and the lift performs a little evasive manoeuvre, tilting away from and then back towards the wall. Just as you hit the bottom and exit the floor does a little jump scare jolt to leave a lasting impression.
I thought it was fantastic overall. I love the complete lack of staff interaction even though there’s some technical ride elements going on inside, really adds to the anticipation factor particularly if your party is alone. Dangerous for me to say it, but put it on your must do list, with an equal priority to the coasters.
Talking of coasters, the other new one for me was another Gerstlauer Bobsled and also another #5 Gesengte Sau (apostrophe excluded this time).
It was having many teething issues with block sections and temporary ceasing of operations. A couple of engineers were hovering, one of whom was actually in Gerstlauer overalls. They were working hard and managed to restarted it several times over the course of our queueing.
The ride is very vertically stacked as a layout and contains some pretty huge drops with some great airtime, good pacing and some solid all round fun. I was really impressed by it. Every time I ride one of these I keep thinking it’s the new best one.
My final investigation was into Jack the Ripper, the haunted walkthrough.
I’m no real fan of these types of things, there’s a lot of walking through unpleasant situations with a deadpan expression, though I’m probably just doing it wrong.
Eventually you reach a room where the atmosphere (not that I liked the atmosphere) is ruined by a member of staff awkwardly telling you to wait for a lift, in a room full of loud screaming, ultra violet light and set pieces. Have you tried Blue Planet, sir?
While waiting you can watch this amusing animatronic scene of Jack himself stabbing a woman. She slowly crumples to the floor in a highly convincing manner as he slithers away.
I think the lift itself tried to do some stuff but I already had scary elevator fatigue by that point and have legitimately forgotten what went on.
At the bottom of the lift is a mysteriously unattended haunted swing ride (the origins of a madhouse). It’s no Hex, it travels at a million miles an hour and is super disorientating, in a rather unpleasant and sickly way. You leave on an anti climax and the experience is over. Don’t put it on your to do list. Spend the money on a cred instead, even if it has to be the Boomerang.
Well aside from that downer at the end, which is entirely my own fault for committing myself to research these type of things, I really enjoyed my second visit to Prater. The lesson is come at night, don’t come alone, and experience a wide variety of attractions. Bring lots of money too. Lots of money.
Day 11, which was primarily dedicated to travel, ended up being an abject failure.
It began rather nicely with a whirlwind tour through a new country cred, a certain principality by the name of Monaco. We hit the streets bright and early so as not to get caught up in those densely packed roads.
From there it was planned to be a simple 6 hour drive to Switzerland, more specifically Lucerne, where we hoped to visit a museum/chocolate factory dark ride and do some further general sightseeing. Perturbed by our experience at Naturlandia we figured it was best to book a timeslot for the attraction, though it appeared to be completely empty for the entire day, even on the day, and opted for the latest possible time just to be safe.
Italy was open for transiting only, no mingling (nor did they recognise UK vaccine status at that time if you wished to stop off and visit something specific anyway), so the idea was to speed run it straight to the next border. The Italian roads just weren’t letting that happen sadly, from multiple bouts of standstill motorway queues to the endless starting and stopping of roadworks that almost became parody, it took about twice as long as it should have to finally reach Switzerland.
Despite all that, there was still a reasonable chance of reaching our next destination in plenty of time as we bought our Swiss Vignette (a fixed fee sticker to drive on their motorways) at the border. Our driving woes didn’t end there however as the ridiculously huge Gotthard Tunnel, the longest road tunnel in the world at the time of opening (now a mere fifth), didn’t want to play ball either. At over 10 miles in length it’s a rather surreal experience to cruise through, but the fact that it’s paced by traffic lights at the entrance, which inevitably bring all motorway traffic screeching to a halt, causes an absolute nightmare of yet more standstill queues.
Battling until the very last, we reached Lucerne with what we thought was just moments to spare, but it wasn’t to be. The final faff of city driving, parking and not being familiar with the surroundings upon arrival tipped the balance and the day was over. Fortunately the ticket desk were able to swap our booking for a voucher that could be used any time in the next 5 years. This instantly became an Ange Michel 2.0 situation for us though, I can’t just walk away from that empty handed. The cogs began to turn. How can we make it back, during this trip?
Oh well, regular, basic, stress-free sightseeing it is.
This here is the Löwendenkmal, or Lion Monument.
That there is the Jesuitenkirche, or Jesuit Church.
And this one looks like a bit of a Kapellbrücke, or Chapel Bridge to me. History lessons available on Google.
The catch with Switzerland however, no parks (except Conny-Land, Conny-Land is cool), so perhaps foolishly the journey was only half done and our hotel was still another 4 hours away. Next stop, Austria.
Again it took far longer than necessary and we quickly began to resent these massive tunnels, with the Arlburg Road Tunnel stopping us dead for an hour at traffic lights because it had decided to be one-way for the night. All 9 miles of it. With a toll at the end for the privilege.
I believe the day gave way to a new record for hours behind the wheel on any of our road trips, impressively (or perhaps not) surpassing the 850-odd mile journey from Massachusetts to Tennessee, even though this was only a mere 850-odd kilometres. In the end we had a criminally short amount of time in a gorgeous hotel for that night. I was at least glad to be back in this part of Austria, because I’m a big fan of it. Let’s see how well it treated us.
Day 12 – Freizeitpark Familienland
I had been very tempted by this park while in the area almost exactly 5 years prior. It seemed a little pricey for a +1 and (believe it or not) too far out of the way at the time. Oh, how the desperation (enthusiasm? no, that’s not right) has grown exponentially since those days. Luckily they’ve doubled their cred count since then too!
The morning began in amazing fashion as we joined a single train wait for the main coaster. A single train wait is the entire queueline for this ride as the park is very tiny and cute, basically sitting within the footprint of said coaster. Problems were occurring with the train parking in the station, however.
So this guy just walks out onto the track, sees that it’s a sensor fault, whips a spare one out of his pocket and changes it on the spot. Train parks correctly. One test lap. Back open. That would have been the day over in most other places and I can’t overstate how satisfying it was to watch.
#1 Big Bang is yet another custom Zierer ESC, after just a few days, this one again has a nice refreshing layout.
A couple of mild twisty airtime moments against a stunning backdrop, it was well worth visiting for. Trains are still developing those rattles though.
#2 Wicky is an extended SBF Visa job, once again not a spinner, with a funky little pair of speed hills between helices, hidden behind this viking (pirate? no, that’s not right) hut.
Satisfied with that haul it was time to visit an old friend.
Fantasiana
The reason I was in the area all those years ago was to visit this fabulous little park. Just this year they’ve opened a rather special new coaster and I figured it would be rude not to check it out, given half a chance.
#3 Fridolin’s verrückter Zauberexpress is no ordinary family coaster. It’s a rare ART Engineering build, of Ba-a-a Express and Duplo Dino fame, but it does a lot more than those. So much more. Sometimes I hate silly claims, sometimes I love them. I love this one. World’s lowest height restriction on a multi-launch coaster.
The trains are awesome for starters. Comfy little seats and Fridolin himself, loving it, on the back. The station has a couple of nice effects with a screen and some projections to enhance the starting sequence which takes riders backwards out of the station, seemingly by mistake, before launching forwards through it and into the layout.
Into this nicely decorated first section, waterworks and all.
It bursts through (at low speeds of course) this misty little hut and into a little twisty.
Hold onto your wizard hats, here comes the second launch. This gives just enough momentum (in a satisfying manner) to crest the highest point of the layout and complete the final two turns back into the station, where it accelerates again for a second lap. 5 launches total. Brilliant, beautifully done, this park just nails everything and it’s joyous to behold. (Is it worrying that this might be better than everything I’ve recently talked about in France?)
With the newness sadly no longer new it was time to get assaulted by Wild Train.
This was my first ever Pax back in 2016 and taught me everything I know about how ridiculous their tracking is. The results are still as quirky and powerful as ever, with dangerous levels of airtime being delivered in all the wrong places as it ducks and dives through those impossible clearances.
Children seem to be unaffected by it. Adults are not. Best coaster of the trip so far, non-ironically this time.
ABC drop towers with themed storylines. A mixed bunch at best. Knightsride Tower has always been the standout for me.
From this fellow chilling in the atmospheric and scary queueline (mainly because it’s dark and devoid of guests), to the tension building sequence of rising up through various scenes. You reach the top. You get poked in the back. You flinch and cry out in terror. You drop before you’ve sat back in your seat (and it’s a damn good drop). It’s all perfectly executed and gets me every time.
Sindbads Abenteuerreise, the fun-loving scary dark ride. Love it.
Almost as much as I love the soundtrack for Mami Wata. IMAscore out of their comfort zone often results in them at their best and sometimes you can’t beat standing under an ambient speaker at a park, hearing it blare a piece of music you know so well. I bought the CD on my last visit and it’s still a playlist regular to this day. Oh, and as a turntable + elevator lift Hafema log flume this ride is also spot on. Well worth the soaking.
Something else I hadn’t tried before was these old-timey cars.
They don’t look much on the surface (nor can I find them on their website now) but they do double through a shed with various little scenes from around the world in it. I like a hidden surprise.
Turns out this tiny park has even more to offer. On the running theme of unintentionally hilarious 3D films I’ve got going here, this cinema was playing a certain number that can best be described as discount Pandadroom, with turtles. I feel like it’s a very generic film that you could perhaps find at many parks around the world and yet I’m just not sure. Maybe it’s unique or maybe it’s that the German dub is just a little… off character, in the best way. A deep and wise voice that just doesn’t match the face of the main protagonist as he explains how humans are ruining the planet in a wistful and woeful way. He reminisces about various adventures from his youth, alongside a friend, in which humans destroy the ocean, the ice caps and the rainforest (I miss Pandadroom so badly right now). The special effects are used very sparingly, making them totally on point and real crowdpleasers. The conclusion finds him old again, on a beach, helping a newborn turtle learn to walk to the sea, but there’s a road in the way. It cuts to black with him looking straight at the audience with a sad, yet at peace expression that to me says ‘that little one isn’t going to make it, and it’s your fault’. It’s simultaneously light hearted and able to bring a tear to my eye. What is this park doing to me?
The day was seen out simply re-enjoying the many standout attractions of this wonderful park, primarily seeing how much Wild Train the human body can take. Visits like that make this all worthwhile.
I’m starting to sound way too positive. Don’t worry, Prater’s up next. I hated the place last time.
Having completely exhausted all the options of daytime parks in the region, there was nothing left to do but have a well earned lie in, play some mini golf and do some sightseeing.
The location of choice was the Verdon Gorge.
With tons of massive birds hovering in the sky.
The sort of place that pictures (well, mine at least) don’t really do justice. It was all rather breathtaking though, particularly if you take part in some foolish daredevil antics like walking along one of the narrow stone walls above a 1000ft drop, or climbing out onto precarious rocks that overhang the fast flowing river below. I somehow managed to scare myself more than the Lou Bac Luge.
After that excitement there was one more crawl of evening parks to complete on our last night in France. Day 10 – Azur Park
Which began with a surprise. The originally billed Super Railway (a single rail Schwarzkopf wild mouse) had been swapped for something equally interesting, the legendary travelling Soquet, King. I believe it’s the biggest coaster they ever made.
We had arrived for opening and they clearly weren’t ready however, so it was time for another #1 La Pomme, with spare train faces for decoration.
Lost about an hour waiting for them to finally open it up, but that did mean it turned into a night ride. #2 King toes the line nicely between intensity and brutality. The second half feels way too fast for the momentum it’s carrying (including random Yoda graffiti tunnel), almost like they didn’t know what to do with something this size. The result is rather spectacular in an ‘it’s different’ kinda way, if a little rough round the edges.
Oh look, a #3 Crazy Mouse.
Running late now, on to the next park.
Lunapark Fréjus
Oh look, a #4 Crazy Mouse. Oddly enough, this one’s a Beijing Jiuhua model, which means no double up or speed bump, those elements are far too advanced.
I’d been waiting all week for the night that #5 Magic Mountain would show up, never remembering which park it was at.
Not sure why it had particularly caught my attention, something about this stripy inclined loop makes it stand out a bit I guess. It’s a Top Fun Typhoon, whatever that may be, and it gives Tornado a run for its money on trying to beat you up. All that fuss for nothing.
Or maybe I was just too softened up by this point. Even #6 Tokaido Express, this rare 1st gen Mack Powered coaster with single file seating was trying to hurt me. It does about 100 laps in either ‘fast’ or ‘slow’ mode and it’s highly unnecessary.
#7 Train Gourmand was a bit of a mission. It’s part of a separate kids lineup of rides that requires tokens instead of cash, but is located miles away from any of the rest of said rides, along with the desk that sells said tokens.
Still more to endure though.
Antibes Land
Classic Mack #8 Wild Mouse. Used to live in Japan and then at Walygator, maybe it came as a bonus with Monster?
Having never ridden an EOS spinning coaster until just recently at Gullivers, I’ve now managed to pick up a second. #9 Turtle’s Coaster is still better than the SBFs and this one had the added excitement of the operator providing a bonus manual spin each time it came through the station.
And, to end France in style, a #10 Pomme. This one had the added excitement of the operator providing a bonus balloon for certain guests to ride with.
Had a bit of Jacquou déjà vu the following morning, while queuing outside this catchily named place. Once again it took forever to get in, though this time there were two unfathomably long lines that actually went to different places – pre-booked or on the day. The car park was made of the worst surface imaginable and took some serious off-roading to even navigate. Off to a good start.
Off to a very good start. This Pinfari is named #1 Strom, which I like to believe is in tribute to the legend that is Strom Chaser. It’s also terrible.
Things almost got extremely Jacquou Parc here, as by the time we reached the second attraction of the day, after being amongst the first guests on park, the spinning mouse was ready to close for ‘lunchtime’. Luckily this time around we managed to squeeze in just as the rope was put in place after us. Once again it created a huge conflict between staff and the guests who were being told they can’t ride a major attraction for 90 minutes, no more than an hour into their experience. I don’t get it. This Fabbri is named #2 Formula 1, probably as it has a lot in common with the sport. It’s also terrible.
We continued to dodge the staggered lunchtime closures and hit the ghost train, Magic Mystery House next. I will of course ride these when I don’t have to specifically fork out for them. It’s also terrible.
Was #3 Shark Trip the best ride of the park? Probably. Something about weighting issues and the fact that it made several children cry and then not board meant that the train was dispatched with just our party of 3 adults on board, while a disproportionately large queue looked on in disgust.
All in a day’s work.
OK Corral
This was the main park for the day, the park themed to the old West, not that that narrows it down much. I’d had it on my radar a few years now, ever since riding Gipfelstürmer and subsequently wanting to complete the rather obscure set of Gerstlauer family shuttle coasters.
And so the visit began at #4 Gold Rush.
It starts like a normal boomerang, completes one full circuit around the top and then another half, before stopping on the reverse ‘spike’ and doing a backwards half. Basically you get a longer and better ride out of it than you would on the German Goat or at Adventure City where the third version lives, and even as standard they’re much better than the Vekomas. For the briefest of glorious moments I now have the full collection, with both Korea and Australia about to spoil it for me, any second.
Next up was this fascinating piece of kit. I had it in my head after Spirou that #5 Pioneer was yet another Force One, but it’s actually one of the very few custom Zierer ESC 535s . It also has unique trains, with the front 6 seats being horses and the rear 6 being a carriage.
It’s quite a nice terrain layout with a couple more attempts at airtime and twisty moments than the standard model. The carriage suffers from the exact same rattle that the others develop, but the horses are a winner. I was dreading them as I usually do for any ‘motocoaster’ experience but they’re completely different in design, with no horrible back clamps forcing you into an uncomfortable position. If anything it rode more like a stand-up, nice and exposed. I liked it.
Final coaster was #6 Serpent Hopi, a Tivoli large as a snake.
And a dark ride called Mystères de l’Ouest, a decently paced (for once) ghost train style attraction with a western theme to fit the park. Well, until the end, when 4 or 5 cars were stacking outside the station leaving people stuck in the last scare for multiple takes.
We were told by the friendly admissions staff not to miss ‘the show later’, so heeded their advice and settled down in the arena once all the rides were done.
It was underwhelming to say the least, though probably alright for the budget – I am rather spoilt when it comes to this stuff. A bit of a twist on cowboys vs Indians with some mild horsey action. I didn’t manage to follow the storyline. One bloke wanted them all to co-exist in peace, performed a ‘traditional’ dance, then the cowboys all got beaten up and it ended.
We lasted most of the day here, which was nice. It had a genuine and friendly vibe, a solid and interesting lineup of not quite just +1s and a decent coherent theme.
Funny Land
This park was known only to me as the 1am Wacky Worm, because it is just a Wacky Worm, one that stays open until 1am.
Wait a minute. This is no ordinary Wacky Worm. #7 Crazy Chenille is the rare type with the diagonal lift hill, a straight big dip and a more violent final drop. Class.
Once again the night ended on a big funfair affair.
Magic World
Not sure I can handle any more magic in one day, but I like the sign.
Oh look, a spinning wild mouse. #8 Mouse Coaster also killed us. They’re obviously not afraid to run them hot in the south of France.
#9 Banzai is just silly. A massive and pointless U-shaped shuttle coaster. It performs a teasing first sequence of reverse lift hill, drop, then coasts back and forth for at least 5 minutes with no braking until it comes to a natural stop. Is that it? No. It then performs another lap, but this time it starts a bit higher up the spike, drops, then coasts for at least 5 minutes with no braking until it comes to a natural stop. Oh, and the combination of shoulder restraints and weird lap bar is awful.
At least they have a #10 Magic Pomme with an oversized inflatable to end the night on a high.
The following day began here, where I started to get the sense that every park in this part of the world contains the word Pirat, Luna or Magic.
Just a humble +1 on the cards, #1 Train de la Mine is a surprisingly lively SBF Visa that isn’t a spinner.
Moving swiftly on. Parc Spirou
This was the main destination for the day, the relatively new park themed to Spirou Comics. I’d had it on my radar for a few years now, back when the original plans included a Zierer Tower coaster like Impulse or Wicked, which would have been exciting. Seems it wasn’t to be, instead they ended up with one of everything from the smaller half of Zierer’s back catalogue.
The Force Zero, #2 En avant Seccotine.
The Force Two, #3 Wanted Dalton.
And the Force One, #4 Spirou Racing (#1100).
This one ended up being my 1100th coaster, mainly down to lack of any better options. It might well be my most boring milestone yet, a clone of a ride from Schwaben Park. They’re alright as a model, those ‘inspired’ raised open trains are rather nice, but they do seem to develop quite a rattle after a few years, which in turn saps away any force it once had.
Alongside the coaster selection, the park so far felt pretty bland. There’s a slightly off air to it, having had 3 years to bed in it still feels a bit sparse and sterile and none of the guests seemed to be having a particularly good time, sweating away in poorly shaded queues.
Luckily there’s a dark ride to breathe a bit more character into the place.
I’m not sure how best to describe Gaffe á Gaston other than three simulator pods in front of a screen.
Maybe the comic will do it for me. The film is basically a POV of the bloke on his weird suspended chair that travels around an office environment causing various mishaps. The ride concludes with him delivering a message to a romantic interest, she seems impressed and then walks off as he turns to a mirror and says “m’enfin?” (finally). It was funnier and more entertaining than I’ve made it sound, but it ain’t no Vienne Dynamique.
Also like Schwaben Park, they have a Roller Ball. #5 Nid des Marsupilamis doesn’t even come with a killer soundtrack and is just as pointless of a ride experience.
Seems every immersive tunnel in the world has to be themed to dinosaurs, including Super Groom et les Dinozorgs.
Even if it is based on an comic that doesn’t look like it needed to be themed to that at all. I struggled to follow this one. Some professor bloke with a time machine, this superhero boy and his flying squirrel companion versus some dinosaurs and an evil man who I think is Dalton, of Walibi Belgium drop tower fame.
Talking of drop towers, somehow the day was already through and we had to sprint to get a last ride on Zombillénium Tower, so apologies, no pictures. It’s one of those big, cool Funtime ones with the nice restraints. It does some scary tilting things on the way up but not for the actual drop sequence, which surprised me. Good though.
I’ve since learnt that the Zombillénium name (whatever it is) was supposed to go to a trackless dark ride, so add that to the list of things that didn’t open which are now holding this place back. Surely they could have just not bought the roller ball or something, as it was built to make a pointless statement (unique in Europe, of two, and of a ride type no one should really care about), which only lasted a year anyway.
Only having three parks in a day now seems relatively relaxing and the last stop was another late night funfair that, for obvious time reasons, didn’t quite make the cut the previous night. Amigoland
#6 Jumbo Jet is an even bigger one of those single-file Schwarzkopf beasts. Apparently this one was once built, but never operated, at Six Flags Great Adventure. It feels very open at the top of that spiral lift hill and the number of cars on track was a spectacle to behold all in itself. Thrilling, forceful, fun. Had it all really. This being the best coaster of the day again proves how Spirou need to up their game a bit.
There was also a bonus #7 La Pomme on park to keep things perfectly balanced, as all things should be. I think that made 5 of these in a 24 hour period.
From just 1 coaster in a day to almost unfathomable amounts, this one’s a bit of a marathon.
Day 7 – Naturlandia
It all began at the primary reason for visiting Andorra, the park collection of equipment that includes the world’s longest (Alpine) coaster. Nice setting for it.
Immediately didn’t get on with the place as we essentially got ripped off. Due to the fast and loose nature of the trip as a whole, the pre-booking of the various necessary attractions was left as late as possible in most cases so that we could continually monitor each and every border situation.
We had tried to book the Alpine a few days prior but found that the time slots we wanted (any time in the morning) were unavailable. Turn up and wing it was the verdict. Surely with the capacity of a ride like that it can’t be completely sold out.
So on the day, queuing for tickets, a bloke walks up to us with a tablet and asks what we’re there for. “Tobotronc mate.” “Did you book online?” “No, we couldn’t get the time what we wanted.” “Ah… wait here.”
He ran off to the ticket window to conspire with the sales team and came hurrying back. We can do this for you but… you can’t buy tickets for the ride, you’ll have to get the adventure wristband. Unfortunately for us, while an adult ticket for the ride is advertised as €15, a wristband is €35.
Upon reaching the window, “Tobotronc please.” Same lame repeated speech. “Fair enough, I’ll buy whatever gets us on Tobotronc please.” The sales woman instantly flares up as if I’m trying to rip her off, not the other way round. “I TOLD YOU IT HAS TO BE THE WRISTBAND.” Just… take the money already.
There was nothing remotely interesting about the other attractions available on the wristband, which comprised of jumping on a big bag of air, going on a nature trail while staring at a tablet or climbing some ropes. Nor did we have the time to mess around with it. Though our timeslot for Tobotronc was only 20 minutes away anyway we took a quick look at some big dune buggy things (everybody loves dune buggies) you could drive, expecting something insane to happen like launching off some jumps at 50Mph. Instead it’s a course of ‘skill’, meaning all you get to do is a single lap of pottering around some bumps at 1Mph while the instructor shouts at you to slow down. Nope.
Tobotronc had no queue, so that timeslot system was a load of gimmicks and lies.
Ah well, it’s why we came to this country. The bottom station is located at the 1600m part of the establishment, where you board and are told it’ll take about 20 minutes in total. That’s crazy.
90% of the experience is this view of course, and it’s sure to give you a bad back.
I occupied myself with some onboard photography, here’s someone being slowed down through one of the 6000 downhill turns.
Reverse POV lift hill shot.
You get the occasional glimpse of the amazing views beyond, though most of the ride is hidden within the forest.
Still going.
Finally, the second station at the 2000m point of the mountain. It begins.
#1 Tobotronc is 17,388ft long which, to put into perspective, is over twice the length of Steel Dragon. It’s also not done at 95Mph at any point, so it drags on far longer. The ride is ridiculous, impressive and definitely worth experiencing, but it’s far from the best Alpine out there. It gets rather repetitive obviously, with a lot of the layout blurring into one and the same. Straight with a little bump, downhill turn, rinse and repeat, and the views don’t really change either.
Sadly this was also the first ever time I’ve run into the problem of catching up with the competition in front and this really isn’t the one on which you want that to happen, though it’s likely inevitable. The result is having to spend at least half the ride continuously easing off, then speeding up to compensate for the pace in front.
Worth the 35? Just about, if only for the immense scale of the thing and its legendary status. Shouldn’t have needed to be though.
It was time to get out of Andorra before they could do any more damage, though we swung past this scenic bridge on the way.
Back in the mountains of France, it was time for a better Alpine experience.
Lou Bac Mountain
Right off the bat, this thing is better, because it has such a cool system.
The vehicles sit on their little trolley and ride up in a cable car with you.
While the views are just about as impressive and a little less obstructed.
And yes, it’s another of those terrifying single rail versions, only insanely huge.
It’s also brand new, and one of only 5 Sunkid have made so far since acquiring the model from Brandauer.
The cars are wheeled off of the trolley and onto this amazing piece of kit that auto shunts them around and queues them up on different rows depending on the throughput.
The #2 Lou Bac Mountain Luge is legitimately one of the scariest rides I’ve ever done. A thought suddenly dawned on me, as I plunged down into the first section, that there’s really not much keeping me on this piece of plastic. If you’re riding solo, you get a squidgy little booster seat that pushes you out from the back rest in order to reach the handle easier. Because it’s a central brake handle and not the relaxed ones at the side, you’re also continuously in the lean forward position. This makes it feel extremely open on either side, with nothing but a standard little seatbelt keeping you from plunging down a mountainside. There’s some ridiculous claim on the website that the track achieves angles of 70° and I’m inclined to believe it. Certain drops are far more intense than you’d ever get on a Wiegand (including the incredible Speed Bob) and you can pick up some insane momentum very quickly which, combined with any lateral forces on the turns will do its best to try and kill you. The ride was a gamechanger for me in that the level of fear on these things has now switched from ‘can the physical hardware take it if I don’t use the brakes?’ to ‘will I just fall out and die if I don’t use the brakes?’ It takes a lot for a ride to put me out of my comfort zone these days and this delivered that by the bucket load. I was screaming, laughing nervously and loving/hating it the whole way down. Incredible.
It was now time to swap the mountain air for some seaside parks, in the most ambitious run of 8pm – 2am summer fairs so far.
Pirat’ Parc
Proceedings began at Pirat’ Parc, where the sun was just setting and an atmosphere was starting to build.
After scouting out the number of tokens required, we climbed aboard the largest of the coasters here, #3 Gold Mine, a rare custom Reverchon that’s a standard sit down.
The operators here were in such a party mood, switching on their various amps for the first time and blaring out some tunes before laying down some killer moves in the walkways while waiting for customers to arrive for the night. Oh, and the ride was really good for what it is too. Unusually smooth with a couple of good drops.
The wild mouse style #4 Mini Racer was the next in a long list of rides that tried to kill us. I half came out of the side in one of the many violent turns. An instant classic.
As was this amazing #5 Cars ride. I expected just a clone of that baby coaster at E-World in Korea, without the singing, but that shipping container at the back… things happen in there. Mind blowing things.
Spoiler
The train stops dead inside the shipping container on the final lap and the doors close at both ends. Smoke fills the room. To the right, a flap opens up and several police car headlights appear, blaring their horns. The whole track section suddenly then tilts you to the side, towards them!
Last up was #6 Big Apple with a good apple game, that inflatable caterpillar bouncing up and down out of the side was a right laugh.
And that’s the great thing about these parks. What RCDB would have you thinking was a +1 becomes an instant (and memorable) +4 with the extra travelling rides. Next?
Parc d’Attractions Marseillan-Plage
I can’t even remember these places by name any more, I think this checks out.
Pink Zyklon Galaxis appear to be all the rage these days, as demonstrated by #7 Roller Coaster.
Hang on. I recognise this layout. Tres turbulent?
Oh no! We’ve found Tornado from M&Ds in it’s new home. I’m hoping I can complete their entire lineup one day without even visiting the park. #8 Gotham looks rather good with a fresh lick of paint on it, but will it kill? I’ve done worse. Far worse, though I dread to think what the removed corkscrews would have been like. The most violent part ended up being the weird hill up in the air across the front edge, which has some horrible banking on entry. Silly Pinfari.
Sorry, previous Big Apple.
Your animated caterpillar game just got beaten by another #9 Big Apple.
We got impressively lost on the way to the next park, which further backs up that they all start to look the same.
Luna Park
Haven’t we just done this? Well this is where I learnt for the first time that they’re not all the same. This particular #10 Roller-Coaster had different hills at the end and, interestingly, is the only operating coaster on RCDB made by Mondial, of flat ride fame.
They also have #11 Apocalypse, a Vekoma Corkscrew (with Bayerncurve). Not your average funfair ride. Not good either.
And for the third time tonight, a #12 Luna Pomme. This one was most notable for having a swinging ship that came insanely close to the top of the layout while it was in motion.
Got room for one more?
Fabrikus World
Oh look, a #13 Crazy Mouse to shake things up a bit. This one was on par with the best spins we’ve ever had. So fast and so hard that you can’t even see any more, then that final section with the speed bump just murders.
They also have #14 Euro Loop, a clone of Python from Efteling. Not your average funfair ride. Not good either.
We thought #15 Eurospeed was a stock model Mack Powered coaster, but it turned out to have an impressive, unique layout.
And, to finish the night on a high, one more #16 Pomme. This one was most notable for being the 16th coaster of the day, a new personal record that surpassed Energylandia 2020 for most creds. I’m infinitely more happy that this was achieved across a ridiculous distance and six parks compared to a lazy stroll around just the one establishment. That’s how records are meant to be broken. Don’t you dare go and ruin it, Cedar Point.
Just the one coaster in this part, along with a lot of travel and a bit of sightseeing. Not really good enough is it.
Day 6 – Anatolia Parc
Who knew that there was a Chinese-built worm coaster in central France? Not me. Of course I had to go and ride it though. Upon entering the shop to buy entrance tickets, a man who I shall refer to as Mr. Anatolia Parc saw right through our game and immediately started chatting coasters with us. “You’re here to test the worm?” “Yes we are.” “Are you going to test the Namazu? It’s a new Intamin Coaster.” “We already have, it was great!” This man clearly knows his stuff.
He warmly instructed us to head towards the back of the park where we found #1 Chenille in all its glory. Moments later he joined us on the platform, ready to run the ride. “Have you been to Mont Mosan?” “I… um… no <visible confusion>. Not yet. I’ll add it to the list.” Upon later research we discovered that it was too late for that. Mont Mosan was a park in Belgium that once hosted exactly the same ride type – perhaps where he got his fantastic business idea from. Sadly that one no longer exists. What a legend though.
Oh, the ride. Brutal.
Overjoyed with that encounter, it was time for a very long drive to our next destination. On route I had my heart set on seeing the ridiculous Millau Viaduct, a bridge I’ve admired for many years, as close-up as possible.
So we drove right underneath it. Look at it. Over 1000ft tall. Beat that Intamin.
Before finding a pretty spot to gaze upon it from afar.
Which happened to be in this fascinating village that’s actually built into the side of a cliff.
We then drove over said bridge, which was amazing, and many hours later hit the border to a new country cred, deep (high?) in the Pyrenees. Sadly not the B&M Invert.
Andorra has:
Ridiculously low fuel prices (well, for Europe).
Big old mountains.
Some old churches.
One of the biggest spas in Europe, also their tallest building. Don’t ask how.
And as is the tradition in all new countries, an Andorra cat.
