Florida 01/26 – Epic Universe + Busch Gardens Tampa
With Disney done for a minute we returned to
Day 4 – Epic Universe
for some unfinished business.
There was still a cred to be had in mine cart misery, so we decided our best bet was to just rope drop the 3 hour queue and suck it up.
It was the first time we made it past the Donkey Kong Country sign, but barely, as the queue was snaking straight into the tunnel between areas. After much sufferance under a criminally short music loop of Jungle Japes, turned out the ride had broken down during ERT.
Usual spiel was given about don’t know how long this will be, but we opted for the ‘fine, we can wait it out, then be one of the first back in line’ logic. After much sufferance under a criminally short music loop of Jungle Japes, they changed their tune and forcibly dispersed anyone attempting to queue, saying go away, it will reopen at 1pm.
So that was a waste of everything. What else is there to do on a revisit to Epic?
Since our initial visit, Stardust Racers had been running a single side only, with a miserable queue to match the rest of the park. Logic dictated it wasn’t worth queueing much, much longer than we already had for an inferior non-racing experience.
The rest of the park was in it’s usual ruined state of multiple hour queues for attractions not worth the effort for a reride.
Except Monsters Unchained. So we rode that again. Amazing.
Only other ‘new’ thing we actually needed was the Dragons show, but they’d reduced the timeslots on it since the weekend, so that was still multiple hours away, annoyingly. Figured instead we’d just lurk and get back in the mine cart queue as early as they’d let us again before it ‘reopened at 1pm’.
Oh wait, it had already reopened and was on a 4 hour queue.
So we left. Epic my ass.
In case you couldn’t tell, we weren’t having the best of luck at this point, and this was exacerbated by factors beyond just the new park. This day had been specifically allocated to Sea World but, armed with the knowledge that they’re operating pretty terribly these days, had been checking the app regularly for signs of life. With only a single day ticket, it was too much of a risk to visit without guaranteed ticks against the 2 new coasters and Mako rerides.
All three of those had been closed all morning as well.
And, for final insult to injury, whilst checking the general mess that was all of the Orlando parks, we also learnt on this morning that Mummy, the one ride we actually needed at Universal Studios, was now listed for unplanned maintenance until the day after we flew home.
It was time to get creative, and we’d also been laughing at Busch, because they were currently in their phase of only opening 3 out of 15 rides every day. Only thing that mattered to us was ‘which rides?’ though, and ‘Gwazi – 5 mins, new cred – open’ was all the convincing we needed to jump in the car and drive out.
Busch Gardens Tampa
Arrived in a very quiet looking car park for mid afternoon and took the land train with 2 other people on it (there they are). Compared to the hell on earth crowding of Orlando, it all seemed pretty blissful. With a spring back in our step, we forfeited our single day ticket and headed straight to the one, the only, the legendary god damn, Iron Gwazi.
It was broken.
After several minutes with several staff members giving unclear signals about how temporary this was, whether we could still enter the queue, what we were supposed to do about the new(?) paid lockers and new(!) security scanner if we were to join the queue, we bailed and went to ride the only other ride on park.
I say that with no exaggeration as we walked past a Cheetah Hunt that had been down for months and chuckled at the audacity of their upcharge cable car. Not that we cared about the rest, but Sheikra – closed, Kumba – closed, Cobra’s Curse – closed, Falcon’s Flight – closed. Maybe the stupid sky rocket was open, I honestly couldn’t care less, but it was a laughably miserable time for most people to be at Busch Gardens.
Walked onto Montu, it was decent and remains one of the better inverts for me, having done them all and no longer being excited by them. A reminder of a time when B&M were respected, though perhaps elevated by the fact that it was the second attraction we’d actually managed in about seven hours of prime Florida time.
Speaking of a time when B&M were respected, we needed to ride Phoenix Rising, the walk to which began with a sightline of Gwazi running again – good, and ended with a sightline of the new coaster running, but empty, with a sign out front that said it was closed all day.
****
Guess we’ll drown our sorrows by finishing the night on Gwazi then. Walked back. Broken again.
This honestly felt like the new lowest point in my coasting career and I was just about ready to be done with it all. The diminishing returns on my time and money invested at this point are reaching a stage where it simply isn’t worth it. You try so hard and come so far and in the end it doesn’t even matter.
30 minutes on a bench staring down the staff however managed to convince me that America is the problem, not the wider hobby. I’ve still had great times recently in other countries, regardless of the quality of the attractions. I was planning to head west later in the year, but given the absolute state of the trip to the states last year, and now this, I think it’s ultimately for the best to say that’s parked until something properly excites me again.
Anyway, enough complaining, Iron Gwazi did eventually reopen and we managed a respectable 7 laps on it. The most suprising part of it all was the fact they were running two trains, for no one in particular, and far more efficiently than they had in opening year.
As for how the ride was, it didn’t quite stack up to previous memory. I think it’s measurable though, the stupidly cold weather was hampering it to the point that the train was barely moving through the final third. This became more and more noticeable with each lap, to the point that it felt like the ride was warming down rather than up, very surreal.
The earlier elements still kicked ass, even with the buzz-kill Shambhala start. A very positive heavy drop, crazy overbanks and ridiculous inversions all add up to RMCs most unhinged package, pre-Arieforce. Just a shame that the hills at the end, which are meant to punctuate the layout as the only true sequence of airtime and round off the variety of forces that tear you apart, didn’t.
We left, somewhat reinvigorated, with new questions in our head about whether there had been any changes to what the best coaster in Florida is now.
Then on the drive back I had a crazy idea about finding out, just ride all 3 contenders in one day, simple.
Not simple of course, IoA didn’t stay open late enough to make this actually happen, or at the very least their queues were so ridiculous that they had taken to closing them early. Oh and Stardust is cooked.
Epic Universe
Were still open, but we decided to go for #1 Mine-Cart Madness instead as we had literally ridden nothing new all day and that felt like a terrible waste. With the steely, I don’t care any more, let’s just get this done attitude of a wacky worm, the wait wasn’t so bad.
The queue itself is more pleasant than being stuck in the area outside, even if there’s far less to look at. Once again, the single rider queue looked absolutely distraught with misery by comparison as we entered into the final stages of anticipation, hoping for a front row because I’ve heard it rides like ass.
Worryingly, several front rows had been taped off, not helping any part of the situation, but we lucked out and away it went.
S’alright. Interesting, has it’s charm in a clunky, custom wild mouse kind of way. Rough yes, but in a way that adds a bit of entertainment rather than detracting from the experience. Main thing that stuck in my head, though the overall theming was great, was the fact that the track ‘jumps’ just aren’t that convincing. As clever as they’re trying to be, the visuals don’t match the actual sensation, regardless of where you look.
I found a lot of the time, out of fascination, I was watching the secret track underneath to see what was coming, and likely try and brace a bit. Then if you watch the fake track which suddenly ends in a ramp or a mangled mess of steel, you don’t then lurch or crunch over this in a way that makes you feel you’re actually on those rails, or that you’d make the other side. Instead you just effortlessly glide towards it as if nothing happened and this does detract from the spectacle.
As with most rides on park now, I wouldn’t be averse to experiencing it again, but never with the queues it gets.