With so much spare time on our hands thanks to France and the Netherlands being no go zones, the next 2 days were spent at what I’d best describe as might as well parks.
And the first of them was Majaland, a park only recently added to the Polish coaster scene, located not far from the border with Germany.
The park is operated by Studio 100 and originally started life as another one of their indoor only parks, recently however they have expanded outdoors and added Poland’s only true wooden coaster, this is where we come in.
Inside stuff first though.
Rollercoaster Wikingów
Zierer Force Two clone that Studio 100 have added to almost all of their parks by this point. It was really well themed in places and thanks to being new and indoors was glass smooth.
Wilkołak is Polish for Werewolf, which is a fantastic name for a coaster and the park have done an amazing job theming it as such. The station building looks amazing inside and out, the queue looks great and the train being covered in claw marks is great attention to detail.
Sadly the coaster is a mirrored clone of an almost clone, but as we didn’t get to experience enough of Heidi The Ride to form a true opinion, Wilkołak will be fighting for it’s own honour as well as Heidi’s.
And it’s good! Wilkołak offers a experience that is purely fun, it doesn’t bring anything special or particularly exciting to the table but you could keep riding it all day and have a good time.
Next up we went to get the rare points from riding but not counting the park’s brand new Disk’O and with that we were done with the park, so after many more laps of Wilkołak we called it a day and took our leave.
While the park only had 1 attraction worth the effort, it was a pleasant enough visit, which is more than can say for my previous visits to Studio 100 parks…
Day 10
Today’s plan was to hit as many +1s as possible on our return to Germany.
Karls Erlebnis-Dorf Elstal
Starting with the first of the many Karls parks today. These parks are part theme park, part working food factory and part massive store selling all the tasty treats they make there. The indoor part of these attractions smell absolutely amazing and are guaranteed to make you hungry. We’d promised ourselves we weren’t allowed to have any treats until we had completed all 4 of the Karls parks however.
K2
The main attraction at this site and currently the best attraction at any of the Karls is K2, AKA Potato Coaster.
K2 is the largest Tube Coaster ever built by abc rides and is honestly awesome. It starts with a long and extremely well themed dark ride section before it travels outside, climbs 80 feet and then takes you on a far more intense ride than you’d imagine. Minimal restraints is an understatement so when this beast starts tearing around the track it is slightly concerning.
If it wasn’t for the slightly pricey pay per ride cost and the massive queue I’d have loved to have gotten in a few more laps.
We’ve also got places to be, not that Germany wanted us getting there… Between Karls Elstal and our next location we crawled and turned a 3 hour drive into a 4 and a half hour one…
None of the other Karls parks could match the quality of K2 but they did all feature some of the nicest looking Wacky Worms I’ve ever seen. They all had insane entrances, massive animatronics, crazy theming and gift shops.
Next up we planned to visit Rügen Park but it wasn’t to be. Though we arrived with over an hour of their operating day left, the entrance was padlocked shut and there were no staff in sight. We could see guests enjoying their day out through the fence, so they certainly weren’t closed yet. We decided to phone the park and explain the situation but this led nowhere. First time they laughed at us and then hung up, the second time they outright refused to answer the phone… Fair enough, I guess you don’t want our money then, thanks for nothing, oh and wasting our time…
Far too many hold ups and the bastards at Rügen Park had us now running extremely late, if we had just 1 more hold up we’d fail our quest.
Karls Erlebnis-Dorf Rövershagen
We arrived around 15 minutes before closing, would we have time to get both of the creds?
Yeah you read that right, this Karls site had 2 coasters and this threw a bit of a spanner in the works. We’d learnt the quickest ways to get to the rides at the previous Karls but with 2 coasters up for grabs and a much bigger location things were going to be extra tricky with our already super tight time limit.
Kaffeekannen-Express
After running around completely lost for a while, we finally arrived at Kaffeekannen-Express. This SBF Visa creation is currently exclusive to this location and offers an interesting experience as you ride around up high passing lots of special effects that are triggered as you approach.
Things were super desperate now and we were almost certain the other coaster had already closed, but with nothing to lose other than our dignity we sprinted in the direction of the final strawberry worm.
Erdbeer Raupenbahn
And we JUST made it! 30 seconds to a minute later and we’d have missed out, I couldn’t believe our luck, sometimes the coaster Gods shine on you. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so content on a Wacky Worm and the operator gave us a bonus lap to help us celebrate.
The prophecy had been fulfilled and we were now allowed to purchase some of them sweet smelling snacks.
But don’t eat too many because tonight we’ll be dining at Hamburg’s Rollercoaster Restaurant.
Mine and Heartline’s experience of the one at Europa Park was awful. Packed arm to arm with rowdy Germans, no food we actually wanted to eat and everything cost the Earth.
But tonight in Hamburg I really enjoyed it. Being the massive child that I am, the idea of ordering food on an iPad then watching it coast to you was amazing. So were the immense risks involved in getting the insanely hot pot of food off the track without burning yourself or dropping it. The food was fantastic too, as were the friendly members of staff, what an improvement, I am honestly a fan of these places now.
Sometimes despite our best efforts we can’t help but make assumptions about things and places that are completely wrong.
I assumed Poland and it’s people were going to be harsher and less welcoming than the other countries on our trip. I was wrong.
I assumed Energylandia was going to be an overhyped collection of rides dumped on concrete with an unpleasant atmosphere. I was wrong.
I assumed Legendia was going to the better of the 2 major Polish parks. I was very wrong…
In fact things started to go wrong as soon as we reached the car park and had to walk past abandoned drug dens to reach the entrance. I thought this park was going to beautiful but I’m not so sure anymore…
Exactly half way around the circle is Lech Coaster, the park did a fantastic job placing this thing.
Diabelska Pętla
After passing several closed restaurants and a closed Zyklon Galaxi, we came across the park’s Soquet Looper, Diabelska Pętla. I was half expecting this to beat the crap out of us but it was completely uneventful and we managed to continue our conversation fully while riding.
I’ll get it out of the way early, I’m not a fan of Lech Coaster and now I’ve got to try and explain why when I’m not really sure what exactly went wrong myself. I believe it’s a combination of things adding up that spoil the coaster for me.
Let’s start with the hype. Anyone hyping this coaster up as anything super special is deceiving you, as they did me. Lech Coaster is fine, you’ll probably enjoy it but it’s nothing World Class.
Now the looks. Lech looks stunning but looks can be deceiving. The first drop, the massive airtime hill and the roll over the station look fantastic but ride nowhere near as good as they look.
Trains next. Much like Formuła from yesterday, the vest restraints don’t ruin the ride but certainly get in the way. Lech has a couple of moments of decent airtime but they are spoiled by the clunky restraints. Inversions and the twisted first drop also suffer from the upper half of your body having no freedom to move.
Finally the forces. Lech Coaster has an unpleasant amount of positive Gs at the bottom of the first drop and into the first inversion and then nothing much of note other than a couple of decent pops of air for the rest of the layout. It’s really off putting and almost comes across as accidental. It gave me a headache and had Heartline worried about too many re-rides.
Not that I cared much about many re-rides. After about 5 laps of nothing changing or improving I told Heartline I’d keep riding until he was satisfied but I was done now.
I wanted to love Lech and even secretly hoped I’d walk away thinking it was the real gem of Poland but no, it wasn’t to be. That’s now 2 modern Vekoma monsters that have disappointed me, fingers crossed it’s 3rd time lucky when Abyssus finally opens.
After passing many flat rides in pieces we came across Legendia’s final coaster, Dream Hunters Society. This was yet another Zyklon Galaxi, but this one was open, despite it appearing to be in a state of disrepair. We got a bit of a treat in the form of a rollback when this piece of junk failed to engage with the chain lift, thankfully the hosts soon came powering over and got us moving, not so thankfully I managed to smash my knee to pieces on the not so well maintained brake run…
Dammit Lech you make me so mad, stop looking so amazing over there, you’ll just make me come over for another lap and then I’ll get reminded that you’re not very good…
Bazyliszek
Hopefully Legendia’s much hyped trackless dark ride will save me from walking away today feeling completely disappointed. Er no… It’s not bad, it’s just not very good. The trackless ride system isn’t taken advantage of which is a real shame. Then there’s far too many screens for my liking and the theming is 90 percent cardboard cut outs.
The final ride worth our time at Legendia was their brand new Hafema rapids and somehow they even managed to mess that up. Hafema build insanely good rapid rides but only when they are allowed to go crazy and pack them full of special effects and incredible tricks. When they are tasked to build just a rapids ride with no add ons they cannot deliver an attraction worthy of putting their name on and they haven’t because Jaga Valley is a boring waste.
Count em lads. 6 rides worth riding. 1 a Ferris Wheel, 1 a Soquet Looper and 1 a Zyklon Galaxi…
So our plan now was to head out, ride some +1s and then come back later to see if Lech is any better at almost night, but there was an issue. We asked the lady on admissions for a handstamp to come back later, she got all shifty and told us we’d need to go see guest services, no problem. In there we were informed by a rude woman that we can only leave for 30 minutes and we’d be given a signed piece of paper to make sure we didn’t abuse that rule. She was also disgusted that all 3 of us wanted permission to leave for 30 minutes…
Well, there goes the little bit of respect I still had left for the park…
We ate lunch in the car and came up with a plan. There’s no way we’re going to be able to spend all day here and since we can’t leave and come back, let’s go back in, get our final fill and then leave and never look back.
The woman on admissions gave us a real filthy look as we re-entered the park with our stupid bit of paper, look we don’t want to be here either lady.
This time we travelled the loop clockwise and got to see yet more wrecked flat rides, this time featuring possible fire damage.
Back to Bazyliszek, I enjoyed it even less a second time.
Then back to Lech, where things hadn’t improved at all. I continued to join Heartline on another run of re-rides until he too got fed up and we called it a day.
After much discussion the +1 we decided on was at Park Kolejowy, chosen because it was the only park nearby that was pay per ride.
We punched the details into the sat nav, went on a leisurely drive and soon arrived at what appeared to be some form of hospital or possibly a retirement home. “Mate…. this can’t be the place….” As we did a lap of the car park to access the situation 2 things happened. Heartline spotted a banner declaring that this was infact the correct car park for Park Kolejowy and then an actual corpse was rolled out of the building and put into a van right infront of us. I feel dirty… right where’s the coaster?
After following the banner around the side of the building we ended up walking straight into the park. There was no entrance area, no signage, just a park full of miniature ride on trains and we were the only ones there. Well other than a friendly man mowing the grass, who immediately stopped upon seeing us and came over. Feeling slightly as if we weren’t meant to be there we timidly told him we were there for the roller coaster. He smiled, told us he doesn’t speak good english and then pointed us further into the park, where we assumed the coaster must be.
As we walked in the direction, still the only ones there, we assumed our man had gone back to mowing but as we neared the completely deserted coaster we turned around to see him following us keys in hand. He must be the park owner we thought, what an absolute hero.
Slight problem. None of us have any cash on us and this doesn’t appear to be the kind of place where we are going to be able to use a card. I hope we haven’t made this poor man stop mowing for nothing.
Without asking for the money upfront he let us onto the coaster and sent us on many laps, with each lap we felt slightly more guilty for possibly not being able to pay when this ends.
Thankfully for us when payment was requested he informed us that he did infact have a card machine and he walked us to the park gift shop in order to make the transaction, legend.
What a strange but awesome way to end the day.
Thanks for reading, click here for the next part of my report, where we visit Majaland and too many Karls.
I know everyone has already visted this park and we are way late to the party but this still felt rather special. 15 coasters for the taking with 2 of them appearing World class, there’s no time to waste, let’s get in there.
There was a large rabble of people waiting to buy tickets which got us slightly worried but thanks to Polish efficiency the queue absolutely flew by and we were soon powering into this massive park and heading towards the very back, to Zadra.
But first we need to warm up on the park’s only Italian kiddy coaster with a twisted airtime hill, Draken. In my excitement for Zadra I forgot to take a photo…
Frida
And while we’re here let’s ride the first of the park’s two Vekoma Juniors. This one is better, sorry but it is.
I went into my first ride on Zadra not expecting much and believing it was overhyped by the lesser RMC experienced European masses. I came off of my first ride on Zadra absolutely blown away.
Zadra takes a similar approach to things as Untamed by featuring a more varied layout, instead of focussing solely on airtime, this in my opinion makes for a more complete experience. This is coming from a man who lives for airtime, so you can understand how it pains me to say that but it’s true.
Similar to Untamed in approach, nothing like any other RMC I’ve ridden in execution, Zadra is an absolute monster. You feel every inch of the 200+ foot drop, you’re fully aware you’re flying around at speeds over 70mph. The airtime moments, though less than you might like, are all insane. All of the inversions hit hard and are memorable. Zadra has everything for everyone and I’m in love with everything about it.
Hyperion is the park’s winged Intamin Hyper coaster, it’s the coaster that put them on the map back in 2018, but it’s not without it’s critics. Going in I didn’t believe it was going to be a bad coaster, I just wasn’t so sure if it was going to ride as amazingly as it looks. And then it did.
In a World with so many lacklustre first drops, Energylandia have done the unthinkable and both their major coasters have kick ass ones. On Hyperion you get more than enough time to get concerned on the decent as you’re pinned into your very minimal restraint.
Then there’s the airtime. Similar to Zadra, there may not be enough for some, but what’s there is honestly brutal. Speaking of brutal, the positive Gs this thing subjects you to are insane, I really wasn’t expecting that. I also wasn’t expecting, much like Zadra, for Hyperion to make me appreciate the sensation of speed, which I really did when we were flying around a few feet off the ground at 80mph.
And then there’s the dive loop…
In most seats it’s great fun. In the back left winged seat it’s incredible.
Zadra and Hyperion are certainly 2 of the greatest coasters out there, more than deserving of both entering my top 25.
The monsters out the way, now it’s time to knock off the rest of the park’s coasters, this may take a while…
Frutti Loop Coaster
We started with the Wacky Worm, it was quite amusing seeing the park using a turnstyle and countdown system on such an insignificant attraction.
Energuś Roller Coaster
Next up was the park’s second Vekoma Junior. You weren’t allowed to bring loose articles into the station on this one, see I told you the other one was better.
Me and Heartline spent the entire ride in stitches after I aggressively starting mocking those who say that with the right restraints SLCs actually offer a decent ride experience, they seriously don’t. At least with the over the shoulder restraints you have something to concentrate on, without them it just highlights how awful the layout and ride quality is.
I was expecting something rather special from this modern Vekoma launch coaster, especially after Heartline rode and enjoyed an almost clone in China, but it wasn’t to be and that saddened me.
It was just a bit lacklustre. The airtime was fine but was hampered by the bad train design. The inversions were fine but no where near snappy enough for my liking, they probably would have been better with better trains. The launch felt a bit pointless, made worse by Heartline saying the lifthill version has a much stronger start.
After 1 lap I thought it was me being fussy, but after several I’m sure I’m not really a fan. I hope this is just a bad example of a modern Vekoma otherwise I’m slightly concerned for both Lech Coaster soon and Abyssus when it finally opens…
In punishment for attempting to ride this questionable coaster I stapled myself so hard that I couldn’t breathe at all for the entire ride… Apart from that though the ride operator was a bit of a legend, scaring kids with the air line used for unlocking the restraints.
Another SBF contraption next but this time I could actually breathe. The operator of Circus Coaster waved to us as we crested the lift, he either knows we are on a serious cred run or thinks we’re insane, or both, either way top bloke.
The penultimate peril. It was now time to experience the infamous spinning mouse with over the shoulder restraints. I didn’t mind it, I actually found it quite funny, Heartline however, yeah, he wasn’t a fan so much.
Also that makes 4 SBF Visas in a row, 5 in a day, is that some kind of record?
Speed
While I enjoyed this Intamin Water Coaster far more than I did with Divertical, that was only because it had clean water and didn’t feature several hundred half naked Italians. These things are all about the ascent up that tower, which still worries me, but from there they are just a bit pointless in my eyes, as both a water ride and a coaster.
Park complete, let’s go ride Zadra and Hyperion until we bleed.
We started with Zadra and got several rides in before heading to Hyperion where we stayed until close. This was to get an almost night ride on the Intamin monster, which we did and it was incredible.
A minus point to the park now for being a little too fussy with their train management. The big boys were both running 2 trains for the most part but anytime the queue dropped below 15 minutes the ride team would instantly cease operations to take a train off. This would of course cause the queue to build back up, so they’d then have to re-add a train almost instantly. It was strange and it cost us valuable Zadra/Hyperion time.
I’d heard quite a lot of negative reviews of Enerylandia, with people saying it has a nasty atmosphere and feels like an oversized funfair. Well, in my opinion, on the 2 days I visited, I had a lovely time and other than the questionable train management I saw nothing at all to take issue with. I would happily return tomorrow for more time with Zadra and Hyperion and I cannot wait for the park to continue it’s incredible growth so I can return again.
Knowing today was going to be an easy one, bouncing between Zadra and Hyperion all day, we decided to start things off by getting the +1 at Zatorland, which is about 15 minutes from Energylandia.
And there it is and Christ was it riding violently.
Park complete, let’s get back to the beasts.
Energylandia
Today we did a couple of things differently. We used the park’s all day locker rental wristband system, which is both extremely well priced and a lifesaver. We also got pizza from a shack opposite Zadra, which once again was really well priced and tasted awesome.
We’d spend all day bouncing between Zadra and Hyperion, with the occasional stop off at Formuła if the queue looked acceptable.
Today we ended things with an almost night ride on Zadra which was both amazing and awful at the same time. Awful because as the sun set the layout became surrounded by these tiny bugs. You could feel them getting swatted by your hands and you had to keep your mouth closed to avoid eating them. Sadly several got in mine and Heartline’s eyes and my God was it deeply unpleasant. It also took forever to get them out…
Today would see us visit a park I’d been eager to get to for a while now. Partly to check out their ride lineup (which just got much more exciting) and partly because thanks to Heartline the park was somewhat of a legend. He had a real miserable time last time he visited the park and I’ve made him recount the stories so many times that I almost feel as if been to the park myself at this point. Well today was the day for me to get my own Plohn experience, could it possibly be as bad as it was for Heartline last time?
Things certainly started terrible, as we got stuck in stand still traffic for half an hour just 5 miles from the park. Thankfully we still managed to make it before opening and were soon walking through Plohn’s newly refurbished entrance building.
Dynamite
And heading straight to the park’s latest and greatest coaster, Dynamite.
Dynamite is Mack’s 2nd attempt at their BigDipper model and it would be an understatement to say that Lost Gravity is a hard act to follow. I absolutely love that coaster, with it’s vicious airtime, violent laterals and snappy inversions. Does Dynamite stand any chance of even coming close to the original?
Well I didn’t think so. After looking at the layout and watching the POV, Dynamite appeared very short, lacking of airtime and not as crazy as Lost Gravity. And then I actually rode it…
I never should have never doubted the Mack boys, because they have absolutely smashed it out of the park with Dynamite, this thing is awesome. Yes, it is very short, but a lot of great things happen in the short amount of ride time.
Much like Lost Gravity, Dynamite is a vicious blend of airtime, crazy laterals and forceful inversions. Unlike Lost Gravity however, because it’s so short and has no mid course brakes, Dynamite throws all it’s violence at you in quick succession. This leads to Dynamite being a more intense experience, if also a much shorter one. This also helps make both coasters feel unique from each other, which is fine because I’ve got more than enough room in my heart for both.
The mood was then saved by the World’s greatest Wacky Worm. The ride operator was loudly listening to the radio, which was propped up on a seat by the control panel. It wasn’t club tunes or chart toppers blaring out though, it was a severly depressed German man breaking down while singing a song that was as tragic as it was catchy. I’ve never laughed this hard on a Wacky Worm before, I probably never will again.
Miniwah
Next up was Miniwah, one of the few highlights from Heartline’s last visit. The attraction is a heavily themed, completely enclosed, modern Mack powered coaster and it’s amazing. You take the first lap slowly to take in all the theming, then you power through the final 2 at full speed. It may be the slower first lap playing tricks but this thing seriously hauled when it got going.
El Toro
Before Mack graced the park with Dynamite, their star attraction was El Toro. El Toro is a GCI woodie that I previously was really excited to try, this was until I rode countless mediocre GCI creations and put myself off the idea.
Thankfully El Toro was the reintroduction to GCI that I’ve been waiting for and is a seriously fantastic wooden coaster. The bull is relentless and determined to keep you anywhere but your seat, hitting you with non stop pops of ejector, while also throwing you from side to side. It’s fast, it’s fun, it’s the reason I fell in love with GCI 5 years ago, why can’t they all be this good?
The final coaster of the park was Plohseidon and it was here that I got to experience an event similar to what Heartline had promised me. When it was our time to board the ride the operator opened the airgates for us but then walked off to play on his phone. After a while he came back and instructed us to lower our restraints. He then dispatched the coaster without checking the bars and as soon as we left the station he went straight back to playing on his phone…
After a quick lunch in the car we returned for more re-rides on Dynamite and El Toro before calling it a day when we were satisfied. Despite the warnings I managed to have a good day at Freizeitpark Plohn. As a park, today it was fine, if a little unprofessional in places. It’s the Dynamite/El Toro combo that really make the park worth the visit though.
Now it was time to drive to Poland and with that comes a great story.
After crossing the border almost nothing changed visually, other than Zadra billboards every now and again, it remained this way for the whole time we were on the motorway. Then it came to leaving…
Heartline was sure he’d booked a hotel just off the motorway, so we were all a bit surprised when the sat nav said we still had 30 minutes of driving left to do after we left. What followed was 30 minutes of driving on bad roads through small villages that were decreasing in quality and increasing in hostility the further we went.
2 minutes from our destination we entered a village in ruins, with a rabble of large aggressive looking men staring us down as we drove past. Please don’t let the hotel be here…
2 minutes later we apparently arrived at our destination as we drove past a collapsed farm house. Right… I think the sat nav is probably wrong. Let’s check Google Maps. Good news? We aren’t staying near the scary men. Bad news? We’re staying miles away, just off the motorway, where we’ve just come from…
But the story didn’t end there…
We started to follow Google Maps now, which took us on a different set of awful roads to get us back to where we started. These roads were terrible but they were about to get far worse. Out of nowhere the road we were on dropped 2 feet and turned into vicious cobblestones. We didn’t have time to react before we got true ejector air in a car and things got extremely bumpy. Conditions stayed this way for many miles before we finally found our way back to civilization.
After all that the hotel turned out to possibly be the nicest of the entire trip, which is a massive relief when just 30 minutes ago we had already accepted our fate of sleeping in a barn with 20 angry Polish men.
Thanks for reading, click here for the next part of my report, 2 glorious days with Zadra and Hyperion at Energylandia.
Today was set to be a really busy one with no less than 4 parks on the cards. For that reason we got to the first one early, before any of the rides were open, we’d have to choose our first coaster carefully.
Doggy Dog
And we did. Worryingly this wasn’t my first dog themed Wacky Worm.
Into the dark forest and to the infamous Wild Wind next. I’d been both excited and apprehensive to ride this legendary coaster model ever since I first saw a photo of one on RCDB.
It seriously looks like some failed backyard coaster with it’s 35 foot drop into a 10 foot tall badly transitioned sidewinder, which is then followed by a mess of badly transitioned turns that look they were drawn by a child. It was either going to kill us or allow us walk away feeling untouchable.
Despite what you’ll probably read online, it really wasn’t that bad. It’s awful yes, but I’ve ridden far more unpleasant coasters. I didn’t appreciate having to survive 2 laps however.
The park’s Vekoma Boomerang was next and it was far from the worst example of these I’ve ridden. I forgot to take a picture but everyone knows what a Vekoma Boomerang looks like.
Piraten Spinner
Finally something fun! The World’s only Zierer Spinning Coaster, if we trust RCDB. This thing was brutal and actively tried to end me several times on the many laps it took us on. “I’m spinning, I can’t see when the violent bit is coming, oh God no, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Loved it.
Just incase you think I uploaded the wrong photo, this coaster used to be called Drehgondelbahn. A shame they changed it really, it certainly rolls off the tongue in an amazing way.
Drachen Höhle
The final coaster of Geiselwind was located in the park’s brand new Chinese themed area. It looked really good and was a nice change from the forests and fields of the rest of the park.
I remember seeing this coaster years ago when it was on the travelling circuit and made a stop at Hyde Park’s Winter Wonderland. I was annoyed I didn’t ride it then but better late than never right?
The only Zierer Hell Diver ever built, which translates to single person cars doing large swooping turns through a tent full of smoke and lighting effects, I quite enjoyed it honestly.
Heartline’s wife swears there was a dragon animatronic in there but I didn’t see it, this both upsets and scares me.
Geiselwind was a strong way to start our day with it’s unique coaster line up, but now it’s time to get back on the road.
On route to the car we decided we’d give up on the least interesting of the 4 parks lined up today because it was now looking impossible that we’d be able to make all 4.
AltmühlBOB
AltmühlBOB was next, 2 alpine coasters in a field seemingly in the middle of nowhere, with nowhere to park either.
After following the advice of angry German men, we possibly illegally parked in another man’s field, before making our way over to the ticket office.
This was a shambles, just several hundred people in a rabble with no way of making sense of it. Because we had places to be, we took matters into our own hands and soon at least partially understood what was happening. There was a queue to buy tickets, then a queue each for both of the coasters but today all 3 were blending into 1. This meant you needed to be assertive as to which queue you were in.
Speed Bob
First up was something rather special. Speed Bob was an alpine coaster like no other. Firstly you don’t have any controls this time around, secondly it’s just a series of massive airtime hills in a row until you hit the brakes. It was great fun but lacked the feeling of risk you get when you’re given control.
AltmühlBOB
The other alpine was the traditional affair and not to say it was bad but it was weakest of the trip yet. I was able to complete the whole circuit at full speed with no risk of being killed. This was extra important because it began to heavily rain on the lift.
Erlebnisfelsen Pottenstein
After a quick lunch we arrived at Erlebnisfelsen Pottenstein and it was here that we concluded there was no chance of doing 4 parks today because we have barely made it to the 3rd one before park close.
Thankfully the place was heaving and there was a large group of people waiting to be batched inside 45 minutes before close. I’m going to assume park hours have been extended.
Frankenbob
First up was another traditional alpine coaster. Thankfully Frankenbob more than made up for AltmühlBOB in the intensity department and instantly became my new favourite alpine. Flying down a cliff, surrounded by trees, sitting inches off the rocks and hitting drops and corners at insane speeds, it was crazy.
Next up was Hexenbesen, a suspended coaster of sorts. Much like the powered version at Schwaben Park I found it to be completely pointless honestly but I did enjoy that you get to press your own dispatch button. Taking Heartline’s bag with all our essentials in on a suspended coaster was the other highlight.
Park complete we took a scenic drive to our hotel for the night. The hotel was located in a small town in the middle of nowhere and I couldn’t believe that they left the keys for us in a lockbox and we got to let ourselves into the hotel, that’s some serious trust there.
Thanks for reading, click here for day 5, where we visit Freizeitpark Plohn.
Today saw us return to 2 parks that were rather special to me. Special because they were both on what I consider to be my first real coaster holiday. Not special because they were any good the first time around.
Tripsdrill
Last time we visited Tripsdrill we walked away rather disappointed. The park’s attractions weren’t anything too special compared with the other parks on our trip and thanks to freezing weather and staggered openings the atmosphere did nothing for me either. Why are we returning then? The park had just opened the World’s first Vekoma Suspended Thrill Coaster and it looked awesome.
Hals-über-Kopf
And after seeing how busy the car park looked we powered straight to it. Thankfully this was just a tease because the coaster remained walk on all day.
It looks beautiful doesn’t it? Well the coaster itself does but in typical German fashion the station building is completely bare and still looks like a construction site. I’m sure it’ll look great when it’s finished though.
Do me a favour and pretend you can’t see the Junior Boomerang in this shot OK? Look at all those bare concrete walls and the lack of roof, crazy.
On second thoughts I do need to mention the interactions between Hals-über-Kopf and Volldampf (the Junior Boomerang). While they don’t really add anything to either ride experience they do look very cool and it’s one of the things that got me so excited to ride the coasters.
Enough about how it looks though, let’s talk about how it rides. It’s very good, certainly much more impressive than I was expecting going in. It’s fast, it’s got a great mixture of forces, the inversions are snappy and it’s got a real sense of purpose about it, I wasn’t expecting that. Despite what I stupidily proclaimed at the time, it is not quite worthy of entering the bottom of my top 25 (even more so after this trip) but the very fact I considered it shows how much I enjoyed Hals-über-Kopf. We need more of these things please Vekoma.
I’ve never been much of a fan of Vekoma Junior Boomerangs but I’d probably rank this as my favourite of the bunch thanks to it’s interactions with Hals, the goat on the back and the comedy this coaster caused on the day and for the rest of the trip.
We will come back later for more laps of Hals-über-Kopf but now let’s go re-live the park’s other attractions.
G’sengte Sau
Starting with Beer Coaster. Tripsdrill’s Gerstlauer Bobsled was riding slightly better than I remembered but it’s still just a slightly extended clone layout that does nothing for me.
I think I owe Mammut, the park’s Gerstlauer woodie, an apology. I really wasn’t all that interested in it 4 years ago and probably ranked it unfairly. Today however it was delivering a really fun ride, full of character, that had me and Heartline laughing the whole way round. Mammut I’m sorry and I’ve just moved you up in my woodie rankings, can you forgive me?
What I’m certainly not sorry about though is disliking Karacho last time because it still sucks. After recently riding and loving many Infinity coasters I was sure I was wrong about Karacho, but no it’s just not very good and is easily the weakest of all the Infinity models I’ve ridden.
Next up we rode the park’s rapids which was closed on our last visit. These things are always fun with friends but there wasn’t anything too special about it overall.
Also closed on our last visit was the park’s legendary log flume and wow, this thing was awesome and far exceeded my expectations. It’s huge and suprised me with a massive dark ride section and a backwards drop.
I was really starting to become a fan of the park at this point. Hals was far better I thought it would be, Mammut had become a bit of a beast, I really enjoyed the log flume and the atmosphere of the park was beginning to get to me. Sadly the park would throw it all away in the next hour…
We went back for more re-rides on Hals-über-Kopf and there the staff began to become aggressive towards Heartline for attempting to wear his glasses on the coaster. He wore them during all our rides in the morning but now it was a major issue. So while the coaster was still kicking ass, it wasn’t worth putting up with the aggression and inconsistency of the staff working on it.
We had originally planned to stay all day at Tripsdrill but after riding everything we wanted, including re-rides, the only thing left to do was re-ride Hals until close, a prospect ruined by rude staff.
So instead we called it a day and went to get a bite to eat before leaving. We visited a restaurant that on our previous trip was a real highlight but that wasn’t to be today. The food selection and quality had massively descended and the woman working in there made the aggressive idiots at Hals-über-Kopf look like employees of the month.
Let’s get out of here.
Schwaben Park
I quite enjoyed my last visit to Schwaben Park. It was fun exploring this lesser known German park and I enjoyed my rides on Force One. The reason for revisiting today, other than Tripsdrill annoying us, was the park had since added 2 new coasters. Neither of them looked any good but they were both very unique.
Wilde Hilde
First up was Wilde Hilde, one of only 3 operating RES Roller Ball coasters in the World. Off-ride this contraption looked like my worst nightmare and brought back horrible memories of Insane at Gröna Lund with the way it appeared to violently lurch it’s riders back and forth. Thankfully (I think) on-ride almost nothing at all happens and you just very slowly and completely pointlessly make your descent. It really wasn’t very good and I’m suprised RES managed to sell more of these.
Talking of not very good, neither was the park’s brand new attraction Hummel Brummel. This Wiegand creation can best be described as a suspended Bobkart but without the fun. I’ve no idea what made the park decide to add this costly mess to their lineup. It looks awful, the ride experience is completely pointless and despite the park being quiet it appeared to be an operational nightmare.
Thankfully the park is still home to Force One. This Zierer coaster, despite now rattling more than ever, still provides a fun ride that’s made even better with it’s fantastic train design. Schwaben I’m begging you, look after this thing, it’s still your star attraction.
Next we rode my other highlight of the park from last time, Bobkart. It didn’t quite hold up after riding Spacerunner yesterday but I still enjoyed re-living my first Bobkart experience.
Azura
On a lap of the park to make sure we hadn’t missed anything else that had been added since our last visit we stumbled on Azura. Which from the outside looks like a whimsical dark ride, from the interior queue looks like a ghost train, but it’s actually a water based special effects show that you travel around in a small boat. It was pretty awesome actually and a great accidental find.
And with that we were done.
Thanks for reading, click here for day 4, where we visit Geiselwind and ride more alpine coasters.
2020 was set to be the most exciting year of my life.
Almost as soon as the year started me and Heartline booked our much anticipated return trip to the US. There’s no doubt in my mind that this would have been the greatest trip yet, if not ever. Over 100 new coasters for the count, featuring among others, Cedar Point, Silver Dollar City, Kings Island and Holiday World. I had created my playlist and researched all the parks in great detail to make sure we got the most out of them, I even purchased a membership card to get us into Holiwood Nights for trimless Voyage. I was literally losing sleep in excitement months before we went and I’d wake up every morning and text Heartline a running countdown of the days until we left.
To make it even better, to break up the wait Heartline had a plan to visit Poland, a country we’d been putting off for a while but were both dying to visit. Zadra, Hyperion and Lech Coaster a couple of months before the best trip of my life, that’s almost too strong.
There was even serious discussion about a 2nd US trip in 2020, this time to Florida, a destination I’ve been dreaming of for years now.
And then it all went wrong…
Everything closed, everything ruined, you know the rest…
I rode my first coaster of the year in late July. Although an amazing day out it reopened the wounds of losing the trips I’d been so excited for.
Well it’s a good thing I’ve got Heartline.
Once stuff started to reopen he asked me this, “do you want to go on a mega trip across Europe that includes Poland?” ….yes!
A few weeks before our trip the UK government started to remove countries from their newly formed safe list. Here we go again I thought, another trip ruined, this was all I had this year and now it’s gone, can we just put 2020 in the bin now?
Thanks to sheer luck we thankfully would be able to go but with the understanding that anything could change at any moment. The first casualty of this was France and Fraispertuis, this meant we’d have to drive all the way to Germany without stopping. I’m just happy to leave the house at this point, I’m up for anything.
And anything it was, because now we’re not allowed to go to the Netherlands either, which means we’ve got a lot of spare time on our hands. Heartline rebooked the entire trip and it now included several parks I’d never heard of, but I’m not complaining, there’s something special about visiting the lesser known parks.
Day 1
Hasenhorn Rodelbahn
Finally it was here! The first and only proper trip of 2020, it’s never felt so right to get up at 2am and make the faithful drive to the Channel Tunnel.
In high spirits the 7 hour drive across France flew by and we were soon in the beautiful mountainous bottom left corner of Germany.
The first stop of the trip was something rather special, one of the longest alpine coasters in the World.
We parked in the pretty village at the base of the mountain and then after buying tickets jumped on the ski lift that takes you to the coaster’s station. Having never taken a ski lift like this before I managed to travel more than half way up the mountain before I realised that I hadn’t pulled the safety bar down… I’m not used to people putting this much faith in me not to be an idiot.
How was the trip back down though? It was amazing! And a little bit scary.
Normally on alpines I just pin the handles to the floor and take it all at full speed but this beast showed me pretty early on that wasn’t going to work today. Several times on my long descent I had to feather the brakes to stop myself from being destroyed.
It was fast, it was intense, it was long, the views were stunning, what a great way to get back into the game and to start the trip.
We had planned to visit a second park today but by the time we were finished at Hasenhorn we wouldn’t have been able to make it much before park close. Thankfully we’d be able to add it to the already stacked list of activities for tomorrow.
Day 2
And we did.
Steinwasen Park
Around 25 minutes north of Hasenhorn was Steinwasen Park, a small family oriented park that was nestled in yet more beautiful mountains.
We were rather busy today so we arrived at opening. Despite what their website claimed the rides and attractions wouldn’t be opening for another hour though, so we’d have time to explore first.
Steinwasen Park is also home to a strong selection of animals which is always appreciated. This big horny bastard had the right idea, it was very hot today, as is tradition whenever we visit Europe.
Sight seeing over, it’s almost time for the rides to open.
Coasterbahn
And first up was Coasterbahn, another alpine coaster. Now obviously it wasn’t as good as the monster from yesterday but it was easily my 2nd favourite I’ve ridden of these things. I think I’m getting hooked!
Next we rode the park’s crazy elevator lift water ride, you can see it in a previous photo. This was far better than than any of us expected, which almost caused the death of Heartline’s wife who wasn’t braced for what this thing was handing out.
Gletscherblitz
Next was Gletscherblitz, a Mack powered coaster that takes place almost entirely indoors, features the previously pictured yeti and duels with a Bobkart. It was good fun with it’s wacky set up and strong (for it’s type) coaster layout.
Spacerunner
Speaking of the Bobkart, it was named Spacerunner and it was pretty awesome. I love Bobkarts as they are but this one being indoors, duelling with Gletscherblitz and with strobe lighting made everything feel extra intense.
And that was everything we deemed worth experiencing at Steinwasen Park with our limited time. I liked this park and I’m sure with enough time on your hands you’d easily enjoy a whole day here.
Tatzmania Löffingen
A 45 minute drive east on awful roads took us to Tatzmania Löffingen, a zoo that features a small amusement park area with 2 coasters.
We moved at serious pace through this park so it may be our fault but to me it felt as though the staff here weren’t as great as those as Hasenhorn or Steinwasen. This is strange when you consider that all 3 parks are owned by the same people.
African Spin
First up was African Spin, an SBF spinner. I was just happy for this thing to finish because we were getting seriously sunburnt while riding.
Next and last was the park’s Gerstlauer Bobsled coaster, Gold Rusher. I was rather excited to see how this new (to me) layout rode but thanks to being stapled in half by the angry ride operator I was just happy for it to be over.
Just over the Swiss border, barely an hours drive from Tatzmania, lives Conny-Land, Switzerland’s only real amusement park. The park doesn’t have a massive selection of attractions but is home to 2 that are absolutely worth making the journey for.
Before we get to them though let me first say the staff here were great and all showed great pride in working at the park.
The main reason for coming to Conny-Land was of course their insane Pax shuttle coaster named Cobra. I’m a huge fan of the previous Pax creations I’ve experienced and Cobra was no different.
You board the fantastic new for 2020 trains, which are comfy and also extremly open. This becomes terrifying almost instantly for some as you climb the beyond vertical spike that starts the coaster and are forced to use your legs to stop yourself from sliding out of your seat.
Once you are thankfully released you fly through the station and into 2 airtime hills which provide decent air on the first pass. Then you enter an intense loop before experiencing the scorpion’s tail which provides great hangtime and holds you dangerously close to the top of the loop.
Before you experience it all again in the opposite direction. Note how I didn’t say backwards or forwards at any point, this is because the new trains have seats facing in both directions, so it’s completely up to you which way is which. Me and Heartline preferred boarding the train in the backwards seats, yes the lift isn’t anywhere near as scary but the rest of the coaster is even more fun.
Conny-Land is also home to another extremely unique creation that’s almost on par with Cobra for how messed up it is, it’s known only as Mammut Tree.
You board a free swinging 16 seater cable car, that after a bit of teasing takes you into a massive tree where things happen. Almost all of the fun of this thing was wondering what was going to happen next inside that tree so I will remain tight lipped but I assure you it’s both terrifying and amazing.
Dino Attack, the park’s slightly ghetto shooting dark ride was next. It’s a pretty low budget affair but we had fun with it nonetheless.
After a loop of the park to make sure we hadn’t missed anything, we took a few more re-rides on Cobra before playing with some parrots and then taking our leave.
I’m quite the fan of Conny-Land and I hope that despite the lack of competition the park continues to grow in the future.
To end the day we went for a spot of sight seeing around Liechtenstein.
Here it was again, the last day of our trip, and without knowing it we had saved the best for last. Italy had peaked far too early with Etnaland on our first day here, but today it would be topped by our short visit to Movieland Park.
Before even visiting this wonderful place crazy stories and speculation had gotten me even more excited. “It’s owned and run by the Italian Mafia.” Surely that’s just a rumour, but it does make everything that little bit more exciting wondering if it’s true. “The place isn’t dangerous but they fly a little close to the sun in terms of health and safety rules.” Sound funs to me, I hope that’s true. “The park’s monorail literally turned to spaghetti and partly collapsed.” No way, that’s not possible… No wait that actually happened 3 days before our visit. I’d better delete that from the list of attractions we need to ride on the day then.
Pangea
Talking of attractions we need to ride. When I was browsing their website and making that very list, Pangea made me do a triple take and I had to immediately inform Heartline. Mate, they have a fully unguided jeep ride, that you drive completely yourself, past loads of animatronic dinosaurs. That’s not just a World’s first and probably only, that’s freaking amazing.
The best part was it was even better that I expected. Heartline drove, exactly as advertised might I add, while I sat in the back. The roads you drive on are insanely bumpy in places and I spent most of the ride being violently ejected, in such a way that it was almost too much. I don’t think I’ve had this much pure fun at a park in ages, all 3 of us spent the whole experience crying with laughter, it was wonderful.
Intamin 1st gen drop towers scare me at the best of times, but now that Pangea had me believing this park wasn’t afraid to be brave I was even more concerned. This led to me and Heartline once again laughing and screaming for the whole ride and that was special.
There’s many things that separate Movieland Park from other parks, but one that needs mentioning is how almost all of their attractions feel like the main event.
Magma 2.1
Look here’s another! Jump in a converted racing truck driven by an absolute madman and discover the magic of movie making special effects at crazy speeds. Nothing I can say can do this insanity justice, just go seek it out, if you’re brave enough. Every single person on our ride broke into epic applause when it ended and I think that says more than enough.
Next up was the park’s 3D cinema of sorts, Andriod 3D. It didn’t quite live up to what came before it but it was still good cheesy fun. The preshows were hilariously lip synced by actors who looked like they didn’t care. Then the main ride had a stage infront of the screen where a live actor ran about and lots of special effects erupted from. In any other park it would be iconic but here it’s almost like they were playing it safe.
Brontojet
Brontojet was next, the park’s Schwarzkopf City Jet. It didn’t really make much of an impact on me but it was nice to get to ride such an elusive coaster model.
Kitt SuperJet
Right, back to insanity again. Oh my God, this thing was amazing and much like Pangea I have to believe it’s a World exclusive. Jump into a 600bhp speedboat driven by an absolute madman and well yeah, that’s the whole concept and it’s genius. Terrifying acceleration, terrifying water acrobatics, a special effects show thrown in mid ride, it’s truly one of the most exciting things I’ve ever experienced. If you’re brave enough and don’t mind get soaked to the skin, this is seriously one of the best attractions I’ve ever seen at a park.
We ended our amazing visit to Movieland Park by riding their Vekoma Invertigo, Diabolik. This thing rode amazingly smoothly for what it is and I honestely enjoyed it. To ride forwards is brave, to ride backwards is Diabolik!
Heartline, who reads the dirty forums, tells me Movieland Park isn’t very highly regarded amongst enthusiasts, who think it’s too wacky and out there. Well they are just too boring for their own good because let me tell you, after visiting nearly 200 different parks in the World, Movieland Park is a breath of fresh air and truly stands out from the pack. I loved this park and it was perfect way to end our visit to Italy.
But we aren’t finished just yet.
Leolandia
On the way to the airport we stopped off at Leolandia, a park aimed more at families with younger children, but they still had 4 coasters to knock off.
Leocoaster
A Zamperla kiddie cred was first up. We got some strange looks from the staff while boarding but that’s to be expected.
Twister Mountain
Then it was time for a Zamperla spinning mouse.
Vroom
Next up was Vroom, a really well themed Preston and Barbieri coaster. I wasn’t expecting anything of this calibre from Leolandia, I’m impressed.
Mine Train
The final coaster of the park (and trip) was a Zamperla (of course) powered coaster. It spends half it’s course riding strangely high over some grass and then interacts with the park’s log flume during it’s second half, it was alright.
And with that our mega trip to Finland and Italy was over. It was great to be able to finally visit these countries we’d been putting off for so long. Finland and Taiga left a very strong impression on me, whereas Italy was slightly disappointing if I’m honest. Having experienced almost all of the Italian coaster scene in 1 trip, it was a shame the country doesn’t appear to have a seriously kick ass coaster to it’s name. Also with the exception of Etnaland and Movieland Park, the park scene seems to be somewhat lacking as a whole. Hopefully soon they can rectify this because I’d love to get back out to this beautiful country and risk more intense sunburn.
It’s probably not correct to say I was excited, but I was intrigued to visit the only major Merlin park I hadn’t been to.
We left the hotel heading towards Gardaland in a massive thunderstorm that hadn’t stopped by the time we arrived in the car park. At first we were one of the only cars in there, wondering if we’d come for nothing. Over the next 20 minutes or so though, despite the intense rainfall, the car park began to fill up around us, clearly the Italians both trust that the park will open and that the rainfall can’t stay this heavy all day.
During a break in the rain we left the car and moved at pace towards the park entrance. There it started again in spectacular fashion, the ground flooding around us while everyone attempted to shelter under the turnstyle building.
During yet another break in the rain, this time we actually got to enter the park and made it as far as Blue Tornado’s massive restaurant building before it started again. There we sat until finally the rain stopped for good and Blue Tornado started testing.
Blue Tornado
And then it opened. Probably the happiest I’ve ever been to get the SLC cred.
Up next was the World’s first B&M Wing Coaster, Raptor. It would appear my luck with this coaster model has run out because it well and truly lived up to my friend’s nickname for it, Craptor.
Raptor is the perfect example of style over substance, because in places it looks fantastic but as a coaster it’s lacking. Mostly uneventful and almost completely forceless is how I’d describe Raptor’s ride experience. It took me straight back to the days before I knew it was possible for B&M to do something special with this hardware.
I couldn’t believe it when Merlin announced they were opening a terrible capacity off the shelf Fabbri spinner in one of their major parks and I still can’t even after riding it. Thankfully the park was still quiet at this point because I imagine the queue for this thing gets disgusting when it’s busy.
The second large scale Wacky Worm of the trip. It’s got nothing on the original at Fiabilandia but it was still a unique experience and great fun.
We had lunch next, in a completely deserted restaurant. After we finished eating and went to leave, the zip came off of Heartline’s bag. What followed was 2 minutes of us faffing and making it worse before an extremely friendly staff member came over and fixed it for us. This was awesome and one of the strongest memories I have of the park.
Shaman
I have no memory at all of the park’s Vekoma Looper though, other than speaking of vote manipulation in Kpop while in the station.
My first Screaming Squirrel. The same friend of mine who invented Craptor says he enjoyed this thing. Heartline was freaking out and getting me worried about it though. How was it? Pointless, stupid, but actually quite funny and I don’t hate it.
I was rather let down by the park’s shooting dark ride. I thought I read online it had a kick ass rocking soundtrack while you shoot robot mummies but all we had was sound effects for our entire ride, leading to the whole thing having almost no atmopshere. I can’t deny I really like the concept though.
I Corsari
While I’m getting slightly bored of Pirates inspired dark rides, this one was very good and was different enough to be interesting.
I can only assume the queueline for Oblivion has been repurposed from a previous attraction, or at least I hope it has, because it’s pretty awful. You enter a large tent, that’s easy to get lost and queue jumped in, that’s full of various annoying effects that don’t really link together and don’t at all link to the theme of the coaster. Worst of all though it takes forever to walk through the stupid tent making re-rides a chore.
Is Italian Oblivion worth re-riding though? No, not really. Right, hear me out. I’m not the biggest Dive Coaster fan at the best of times and when you couple that with the fact Oblivion is one of the weakest examples I’ve ridden then I hope you can understand where I’m coming from.
A weak drop sends you through a sluggish Immelmann, then an airtime hill that doesn’t have much air, a pointless helix and finally a drawn out heartline roll.
While taking photos of Oblivion, 3 Italian airforce Tornados flew over the park, this is another of the strongest memories I have of Gardaland but it’s probably not right giving Merlin credit for it.
Next we rode the spaceship looking Flying Island for some aerial views of the park. Sadly I only took 1 picture and you’ve already seen it…
The weather situation had returned to the Italian normal by this time, high 30s and running from shade to shade to avoid serious sunburn. The perfect time to check out the park’s water rides.
First up was the rapids, that I’m going to review as not very good because I’ve completely forgotten everything about it.
Fuga da Atlantide
This was a strange one. This Intamin water coaster of sorts runs on coaster track for 2 prelifts, 2 lifthills, 2 turnarounds, 2 drops and 2 splashdowns but has water channels everywhere else. According to those in charge it isn’t a cred but I’d argue otherwise. Enough about what it is, how was it? It was alright. The theming is really impressive in places but the attraction itself is a bit boring. You spend a lot of time slowly floating around and then the drop sections aren’t anything that special.
With everything we wanted to do knocked off, we dumped our no longer needed rain protection in the car and then began re-rides on Raptor and Oblivion.
It was during these re-rides that a thought set in for the both of us. We were only re-riding these coasters out of respect of what they are and not because we really enjoyed them that much.
Things were also made worse by queue jumping and rude staff at both attractions. These factors led to us not making it to park close with our re-ride session, but never mind, we were more than satisfied.
Right let’s get our re-visit to Mirabilandia out of the way as quickly as possible, we’ve got much better things to do today.
Mirabilandia
This time we made damn sure we’d be the first people waiting at the turnstyles, and we were, but not before I found a vending machine that was giving out unlimited treats after I only paid for a Pepsi. Me and Heartline filled our pockets and then remembered they don’t allow outside food (of course not, this is Mirabilandia), so we had to stuff countless food items into various places as we shuffled past the park’s armed security team.
Despite being the first people waiting at the turnstyles, in true Mirabilandia style, there was an issue. The ticket scanner computer system crashed every time they scanned a ticket and it was taking a minute or so to let just 1 person in. At first the staff tried to make the angry Italian rabble be patient and put up with this major inconvenience, but thankfully in the end they got scared and just opened the floodgates. Which of course meant that we didn’t need to validate our tickets last night, then be late, then get a speeding ticket…
We literally ran to iSpeed. I like running through parks with Heartline, it makes people think you’re crazy and it’s funny to watch both of us keep dropping from running to walking because we are getting too old for this crap.
So last night I half convinced myself that iSpeed was actually quite good. This morning’s ride proved me wrong however, so after 3 laps I officially rate iSpeed as meh.
In and out in an hour, perfect. While driving away from the park we saw a solid 5 miles of queuing traffic heading towards the park. Get used to queuing lads, that’s only the beginning.
Fiabilandia
The contrast from Mirabilandia to Fiabilandia is shocking and all in the favour of Fia. This small family park is class and the most welcome of breaks after Mirabilandia made us fall out with the Italian coaster scene.
Red Mountain
First coaster on offer was the park’s brand new L&T Family Coaster, Red Mountain. Maybe it was being able to walk straight on it, maybe it was the friendly old lady operating it, but I quite enjoyed this little coaster. Better still we got a station E Stop as the coaster attempted to go for it’s second lap because a kid was crying and this park is friendly.
SpaceMouse
Next up was the park’s Fabbri Spinner, once again walk on, once again a friendly ride operator. Mirabilandia made me forget that such things existed.
Valle degli Gnomi
The World’s first Wacky Worm was next and it was amazing. A true terrain coaster featuring adorable theming and dark ride sections. This coaster made me so damn happy and it was awesome to see all the other riders, kids and adults alike, having a great time too.
Heavily themed Pinfari mine train, this park is just so unique.
Il Lago del Sogno
Speaking of…
I’ve never seen anything like the park’s water ride/dark ride hybrid. You sit in a boat, formed into a train, which gets external power from a current collector, then you sail around outside for a bit before getting eaten by a big monster, then it gets even weirder if you can believe it. You really have to see it to believe it and I highly recommend you seek this thing out. I told you this park is class.
After a long drive North West we found ourselves on the outskirts of Milan looking for the car park of Europark Milano Idroscalo.
As we neared where we thought the park was, Heartline pulled into a car park with Idroscalo in the name, what followed was one of the funniest encounters I’ve ever been involved in.
“Is this the parking for the park?” says Heartline. “Idroscalo?” says an angry and confused Italian man. “The park?” says Heartline. “DO YOU WANT TO PARK?” shouts the man. “Yes, but is it for the park? says Heartline. Fed up the man now repeats the word no and signals us to leave. Then to make it even funnier he starts going crazy with amazing hand movements while we’re attempting to leave. We believe that was some sketchy car park for a local airport but we will never know.
We did however find out that it wasn’t parking for the park because that was further on and was shared with many restaurants.
Europark Milano Idsroscalo, yes you do have to say the full name every time, is pretty much a giant permanent ghetto funfair but it’s the fun kind of ghetto.
Jamming
After walking around the site to work out how many tokens we’d need, we first headed to the park’s Barbisan Jamming coaster. That name alone was enough to start me and Heartline laughing but it got even funnier. This thing was absolutely brutal and had us in stitches. I like Jamming, I hope you like Jamming too.
Bruco Mela
Wacky Worm where they batched us onto the platform while the ride was doing laps past us, I told you this place was ghetto in a good way.
Funny Mouse
Before we ended our day with this beast. Funny Mouse is the only offcial Interpark Funny Mouse in the World and it was hilarious. Savagely brutal and hitting all kinds of strange transitions. Much like Jamming, the entire ride was spent almost crying with laughter.
Yeah, this place is better than Mirabilandia too!
We ended our day with another amazing pizza and watching Chief Wiggum sing Jamming in the car.
Thanks for reading, click here for day 10, where we visit Gardaland.
