Finland + Italy 08/19 – Mirabilandia

Day 8

Mirabilandia

As I said at the start of this report, Italy had been thrown around for years as a possible trip idea and it was mostly Mirabilandia that was drawing us to the country, or more so 2 of the coasters that call this park home. Mirabilandia was in the lucky position to be home to not 1 but 2 supposed World class coasters and it was about time we checked them out.

We were off to a less than great start though. Despite booking a hotel close to the park and making every effort to get to Italy’s “best” park for before opening, it all went wrong. The roads on approach to the park were disgusting and we found ourselves stuck in a massive traffic jam for nearly an hour. It became apparent what was causing it soon enough, it was the park itself. Mirabilandia make you pay for parking on entry to the car park and the ticket machines were positioned far too close to car park entrance, resulting in the absolute mess we saw today. Surely the staff were making every effort to get things moving and to ease the strain on the public road though? Nope, not at all.

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While finally parking up we noticed a lot of people were heading into the water park. Knowing the park was open until late today we assumed they’d at some point migrate over, but now would be best time to dust off the coasters with shorter queues right? If only we knew…

iSpeed

The first of the 2 supposed World class coasters was iSpeed, an Intamin LSM launch coaster. No I’m not calling it a Blitz coaster until someone explains what a Blitz coaster actually is.

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I should have just trusted my judgement and went in thinking it was just another Intamin Accelerator coaster, because let’s be honest it pretty much is. Sadly I let myself get slightly caught up in how highly rated iSpeed is and this led to me being even more disappointed when the coaster wasn’t very good.

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Don’t get me wrong, iSpeed isn’t a bad coaster, but it’s nowhere near deserving of the praise I’ve seen it receive. I’d compare it heavily to Superman Escape in Australia. Both are Intamin launch coasters, both have restraints that kill half the elements and both travel too quickly through the other half for them to have any effect.

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Right, it’s all on you now Katun….

On route to the beast things started to look desperate. The park was heaving and several of the coasters we strolled past had queues pouring out past their entrances.

Katun

I’d been excited to ride Katun for years now. I’m a massive fan of B&M Inverts and this was meant to be one of the best in the World. Me and Heartline had even given the coaster a cute nickname years ago.

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How was it though? It was alright, though slightly forgettable. Yes that’s right, this Invert fan is calling the legendary Katun forgettable, because someone has to.

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No part really stood out or did anything that special for me. The coaster itself lacks a sense of character too. We hit the brakes and the first thought that came to my head was what’s the point of having a massive B&M Invert with loads of inversions if none of it’s all that exciting?

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So, yeah, there’s no nice way of saying this I don’t think. Both of Mirabilandia’s supposed World class coasters aren’t very good…

Master Thai

From that crushing disappointment we entered one of the worst queues of my entire life. In nearly 40 degrees, with the sun pounding down on us to the point that I thought I’d faint at some point, we waited over 90 minutes for a stupid Preston & Barbieri Möbius loop coaster. Due to shockingly poor operations the queue barely moved at all and we just stood there sweating and dying. It was deeply unpleasant and our moods towards the park began to shift from disappointment to anger.

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Next we went to look at the park’s latest investment, Desmo Race, a Maurer Spike coaster that we delayed our trip for. How did it repay us? By missing it’s July opening date, opening for a week, breaking itself and then not running since then. While dying in the queue for Master Thai we watched them sending around cars with half of the panels missing and they were violently juddering themselves to pieces, it’s not looking likely it’ll open for us today then…

Moving on, we went to ride the park’s L&T kiddie coaster, a clone of the one with the twisted airtime hill from Cavallino Matto. Sadly as soon as we entered the lengthy queue it broke down…

Divertical

I’d been excited to try out Divertical from the moment I first saw a picture of it’s crazy lift structure. Sadly it turns out the lift is the best part of the ride, because from that point onwards Divertical is a forceless journey towards foul tasting green water.

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Gold Digger

After a much needed break from the sun for lunch, we joined yet another digusting queue, this time for the park’s L&T Wild Mouse coaster. The queue was miles past the entrance and it took a good half an hour to even enter the official queueline. I began to feel quite unwell after once again baking in the scorching sun. In no way does it excuse what we went through to ride it, but the coaster itself was hauling in an extremely brutal manner which led to us all crying with laughter on the brake run.

Rexplorer

After another much needed break from the sun, this time for ice cream, we joined yet another disgusting queue, this time for the park’s ghetto powered coaster. We queued far too long, this time with no shade at all, all while my body was screaming at me to stop being stupid, I seriously wish I could.

During the longest queue ever for a Ferris Wheel, we decided despite not wanting to, it would be best to make use of our 2 day park tickets and return tomorrow morning. I knew today hadn’t gone well, but at the time I had no idea just how badly things truly were until Heartline pointed it out. We had ridden almost 7 things in 11 hours…

We returned to Katun after this crushing realisation. Had giving it all day to warm up made any difference? No… And it really annoyed me because it looks amazing and I really wanted to love it but it really isn’t anything that special.

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Then we ended what had been one of the most frustrating park days in recent memory with a 90 minute queue for iSpeed. Is it my ultra mega heatstroke talking or is it riding slightly better now? We will have to return tomorrow morning to find out, yaaay…

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Wanting to get pizza before our new favourite restaurant closed, it was essential we left the park in a timely manner after leaving iSpeed. So of course we got lost, then ended up walking through the middle of a massive rave where everyone was throwing packets of coloured powder on each other…

Finally we got to the park entrance but we couldn’t leave just yet. We needed join yet another queue, this time to validate our tickets for tomorrow. We’ve paid for 2 day tickets, what’s is this mess?

Now late we left the park going slightly faster than the limit on the completely deserted road, only for Heartline to get a speeding ticket in the post 9 months later. Mirabilandia just keeps on giving…

Thanks for reading, click here for day 9, where we visit Fiabilandia and EuroPark Milano Idroscalo.


Finland + Italy 08/19 – Cavallino Matto

Day 7

Cavallino Matto

Today started once again with another half day park, this time Cavallino Matto.

This park felt a lot more down to Earth and homely than the 2 we visited yesterday. If it wasn’t for the insanely hot Italian weather I think it would have been a great park to take it easy in. Today though taking it easy would have meant getting seriously sunburnt, so instead we ran between shade and tried not to overstay our welcome.

On that note, I only took photos of the main event, so once again you’ll have to accept my apologies.

Topo Zorro

We started strong on the park’s Wacky Worm themed to a cheese loving rodent. Makes a change doesn’t it?

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Then we dusted off the other L&T Compact Coaster, having ridden the only other one in Finland several days ago. To quote Heartline, set complete.

Wild Mine

Before jumping on yet another L&T creation, this time one of their Wild Mouse models. No complaints.

Speedy Gonzales

Wait! Another L&T coaster? And it’s also themed to rodents? This one features a twisted airtime hill straight off of a Mega-Lite though, so I’ll let it slide.

Jurassic River

The only Technical Park Water Coaster in the World was next and it was good! It’s basically a large log flume, with roller coaster sections bolted on and featuring loads of big animatronic dinosaurs. All 3 of those things excite me so I’m all in.

Time for the main event now.

Freestyle

Freestyle is the park’s Togo Stand Up coaster and can we for a moment please appreciate how well the park is looking after this 34 year old coaster, it seriously looks brand new.

Now we need to appreciate how unique and awesome the ride experience is on Togo Stand Ups and then I’ll explain why Freestyle is the best one yet.

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Togo Stand Ups, unlike the inferior models from other manufacturers, provide a TRUE standing experience. You are fully standing, with all your weight on your feet, with very minimal restaints to hold you there. No matter how much of a thrill seeker you are, I promise you, you will feel out of your comfort zone as soon as you start climbing the lift.

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Taking loops standing is an awesome experience. Taking the positive Gs through your legs is crazy, not to mention seeing the World upside down under your feet. That’s not the best part of Togo Stand Ups though, that would be the delicious sensation that is known as standing airtime. Milky Way in Japan had a go and it was amazing. Freestyle though, oh man, it’s insane.

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Several moments of this coaster outright eject you while you’re standing, it’s beautiful. The first time it happened me and Heartline were feet fully off the floor, looking at each other in concern, while flailing and laughing like idiots. No other coaster type offers that experience and it’s one I need more of in my life.

There was a rule on the ride sign about not riding Freestyle more than once every 50 minutes, which makes sense because it’s insane. Of course we didn’t listen though, we needed as much of this as we could physically take because where else can we experience something like this?

I was properly impressed with Freestyle and it was worth sweating bullets to get pictures of this beauty.

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Very satisfied we left the park and went off to look at some leaning tower in Pisa. Yup, she’s leaning alright.

Thanks for reading, click here to read day 8 of my report, the death of Mirabilandia.


Finland + Italy 08/19 – Rainbow Magicland + Cinecittà World

Day 5

It wasn’t all that obvious when we arrived last night what our surroundings really looked like. So much like yesterday I opened my curtains and got a bit of a shock, we are quite literally on a volcano.

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Clearly still not wanting to spend 90 Euros and 12 hours of our time to get to the top, Heartline had spent the night doing some research. He had discovered that there was a newly formed crater about a mile from our hotel, so that was how we’d start today.

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I kept saying it at the time and I’ll say it again now, “we are literally walking on an active volacano, this is insane.” I’ve always been fascinated by the power of the Earth, so walking on and touching a freaking volcano was awesome.

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Like I said yesterday on that mountain, I’m not normally moved by landscapes, but this makes 2 days in a row now that I’ve felt too much while staring off into stunning views. Italy has some damn fine views man.

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Right, let’s move out before we spend all day here.

Before boarding our ferry back to the mainland we had intended to visit a tiny ghetto park in Messina. Thanks to Italian lunch time laziness though, we’d be presented with nothing but a locked gate for our troubles. It was almost 40 degrees out if you are wondering what troubles I am referring to.

The ferry process from this side was an absolute farce. It appeared everyone had decided to escape Sicily at the same time and sadly the waiting area was no where near large enough to hold the sheer amount of cars trying to board the ferry. This meant the queue started on a major crossroads, on top of tram tracks. So in short, most of this part of Messina was in gridlock and there was no option but to become one with the chaos or you’d never get anywhere. What followed was over an hour of Italian shouting, horns honking and people doing dangerous manoeuvres to cut infront of each other.

Once finally back on the mainland our plan was to ride some +1s located around Naples. This meant we got to see Vesuvius, our 2nd volcano credit of the day.

The first park we went to was an interesting one. A small collection of kiddie rides located on the side of a road, in a slum. I got out, told Heartline to lock the doors and moved in to investigate. There was no credit in site, despite coast2coaster claiming there was. Instead of a coaster, I was presented by 10 or so large angry men staring me down, I think we need to leave…

Next up we visited Liberty City Fun, a slightly less scary but still incredibly ghetto park. They had 2 coasters up for grabs but one was closed today, we aren’t having very good luck are we?

After this we visited a shopping mall that’s shaped like a volcano, can I count that as our 3rd volcano cred of the day? There we ate Rossopomodoro pizza for the first time. Pizza is my favourite food and this was the greatest pizza on Earth, no seriously, it’s that good.

Day 6

Rainbow Magicland

Would the first major park of the mainland be as good as Etnaland was? Nope, but it had it’s own charm.

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Shock

First up was the park’s star attraction and a coaster I was really excited about, Shock. I don’t know, there is just something about the photo used on RCDB that really excited me. Don’t worry I’ve cloned that photo for you, though mine is much more sun bleached.

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What a beautiful looking coaster, everything should be painted crimson red. How does it ride though? It’s very good, but as you can see it’s also very short.

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The launch is intense, the slightly braked airtime hill provides decent air and then things get silly. Entry to the non-inverting loop provides crushing positives, then the top of the not loop violently ejects you in a brutal fashion. Following that is more crushing positives as you exit but this time they are sustained through a very low to the ground overbanked turn. Shock ends it’s rampage by once again violently ejecting you as you enter it’s midcourse brakes.

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Sadly after the midcourse Shock loses much of it’s bite, as it crawls through a turnaround and into a weirdly shaped corkscrew and then it’s over.

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Despite a lacklustre ending, I enjoyed Shock far more than I expected to if I’m honest. I was not and will not ever be ready for the brutal airtime and crushing positives this beast delivers.

After that very strong start, it was time to explore the rest of the park.

Dune

A Vekoma Junior, what a step down. You can see it photobombing my Shock photos, that’s all this thing deserves.

Next up we rode a dark ride themed to anime pixies, that may or may not have since been removed because I can’t find the name anywhere. It was alright.

Esplorabruco

The park’s newly repainted and rethemed Wacky Worm. It looked nice but you’ll have to take my word for that because I forgot to take a photo, I do apologise.

Cagliostro

Me and Heartline had been shouting the name of the park’s Maurer Spinner, with an Italian accent, since before this trip even started. So imagine our reaction when a local shouted it in our faces as went to enter the queue, life complete.

As for the coaster itself though, it sucked.

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Huntik

I really liked the park’s interactive dark ride named Huntik. It had some good effects between screens and a real epic feel to it.

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Olandese Volante

Vekoma Mine Train that was pretty brutal, but in a good way.

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The final ride of the park was their Flying Island, a must ride if you want aerial photos of Shock.

Then it was time for Shock re-rides before we left and went for lunch at a mall near the park.

When planning the trip me and Heartline weren’t sure half a day would be long enough for Rainbow Magicland but after visiting I’d say that it was the perfect amount of time to enjoy the park.

We were ready to leave but the park wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet. On arrival to the exit barriers, with our prepaid parking ticket in hand, we discovered you had to exchange that for a barcoded ticket at guest services…

So we drove back in and I took our parking ticket to the woman at the desk of guest services. “Where are your entry tickets?” “In the car.” “You NEED them for me to validate this parking ticket.” Why? Back to the car I go, grab the tickets and walk back in. Now the only woman there is serving 2 strange men, who are flirting with her to try and get discounted tickets… We paid for this online to avoid this crap, what is actually going on! Finally it got sorted and we were able to leave though.

Cinecittà World

A quick lunch and 45 minute drive later and we arrived at our 2nd park of the day, Cinecittà World. I remember reading stories about all sorts of shady goings on at this park. Was it worth all the hassle? No not really.

We had 30% off vouchers, but they were only valid for 1 member of each group. So we split up and each walked to our own ticket window to beat the system, then somehow got in for even cheaper than we were expecting, that’ll do!

Aktium

First up was Aktium, the park’s possibly not Mack water coaster, that isn’t a coaster. Confused? So am I.

The only thing I remember about this thing was getting queue jumped infront of the staff in the station and them allowing it.

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Altair

Colossus clone, now featuring lap bars.

Ever since Altair was installed fanboys have been screaming for Thorpe Park’s Colossus to get new trains with lap bars. After riding Altair allow me to counter that statement with nooooooooooooo….

Colossus isn’t a great coaster to start with, though I do have a soft spot for it thanks to growing up on it. Lap bar Colossus rides considerably worse than actual Colossus, it really is as simple as that.

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Inferno

Now for the reason I was excited to visit Cinecittà World, their Intamin drop track coaster, Inferno.

Thankfully for the park’s sake Inferno is awesome. The section of coaster before the drop track is stupidly good fun and a lot more forceful than I was expecting. Then the drop track itself is crazy and got me nervous every time. Inferno’s final section isn’t as lacklustre as Polar X-plorer’s post drop track section but doesn’t kick as much ass as Th13teen’s. Fantastic overall though.

Inferno’s theming style really impressed me to. Hellspawn straight out of Dante’s Inferno projected onto large canvas screens all around you as you ride, it’s pretty awesome.

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Jurassic War

Next up was Jurassic War, an immersive tunnel attraction themed to dinosaurs, I really enjoyed it. It went a lot harder than other immersive tunnels I’ve ridden, both in movements from the ride and in the content on the screens. This one got quite gory and intense.

We had planned to check out the park’s knock off Soarin’ next but it broke down for the day just after we finished the preshow, so close.

So instead we just rode Inferno until park close, which was a lot more fun.

You would certainly struggle to get a full day out of either Rainbow Magicland or Cinecittà World but it worked out nicely doing them together in a day.

Thanks for reading, click here for day 7 of my report, where we visit Cavallino Matto.


Finland + Italy 08/19 – Parco delle Stelle + Etnaland

Day 4

I woke up today with this view outside my hotel room window.

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Well that’s stunning, let’s get out there and explore, but not before eating breakfast served by the hotel owners.

The first park today was a crazy one. Heartline told me he had discovered a park on the side of a mountain, with an alpine coaster so obscure it wasn’t on Coaster-Count. That on paper sounded awesome, but in the end the park and it’s surroundings would be even better than I expected.

We started by driving up beautiful mountain roads with stunning views and through tiny villages, before we reached a car park halfway up a mountain. There we ditched the car, bought our tickets from an actual shed at the side of the road, then got on a shuttle bus which took us up the final stretch of road to the park itself.

Parco delle Stelle

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I think it’s more than a bit of an understatement to say this park has nice views. I’m not normally moved by things like this, but it really did feel like we’d stumbled onto something really special here. Even more so because we were basically the only people up here.

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Via Lattea

Time for the alpine coaster and this too was very special. My thoughts were jumping between oh my God that view is unbelievable and this is some serious speed now, if this comes off the track will they ever find my body?

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Big Bang

To get our money’s worth (though I’d say the views were more than enough) we decided to try out another of the park’s attractions, Big Bang. I’d best describe it as a ghetto knockoff S&S Screamin’ Swing but this time it goes full 360 and holds you upside down, oh and it’s hanging off the side of a cliff.

It was pure evil but the views were stunning, our mistake though was accidently agreeing to ride it twice. We were the only 2 people on the ride, when it was slowing down to finish it’s cycle the operator shouted out the operator’s cabin something in Italian. Me assuming this was, “how was the ride boys?”, gave him a big thumbs up, to which he started the cycle all over again… Thankfully everything is less scary when you can’t breathe from laughing.

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After walking around and enjoying the views for a little while longer, it was time to leave this wonderful place and get back on the road.

We had a ferry to catch, or did we? Heartline had shown me the ticket he had booked for our crossing to Sicily and it quite literally said, even with this ticket you might not get on the ferry, I see…

Arriving at the ferry port with nothing to go on other than our pessimistic ticket, we asked a worker what we needed to do, he told us, then demanded money from us for doing his job. Come on Italy, you started so strong…

The ferry experience itself though was awesome. We sped through the waiting area dodging cones, then flew straight onto the ferry, which pulled away shortly after we got on, while the ramp was still raising. Then in next to no time we were in Sicily.

First impressions of Sicily were not quite what I was expecting. Messina apppeared pretty run down and there was a lot of rather undesirable looking people milling about. Never mind, we aren’t staying the night here, tonight we are sleeping on a volcano.

But first we would be visiting Etnaland, we just need to get there first. The last 15 minutes of driving to the park was comedy gold. The road quality descended into nothingness, the sat nav took us to a burnt down petrol station and told us that was the park and then we got stuck at a level crossing for 5 minutes, to witness a rusty train the size of a bus roll through, with everyone onboard glaring in disgust at us.

This would set the tone for the park perfectly and things would only get funnier from here.

Etnaland

We arrived to chaos in the car park. People were driving in all directions, ditching their cars wherever they felt like it, and then getting out, shirtless and getting in the way of others trying to park illegally. It was almost too funny to handle, so we decided to join in and parked our stupid hire car in a space we invented, at a strange angle to every other car around, then I got out and threw a half eaten baguette on the floor. Almost instantly we were joined in our newly made parking area by more shirtless Italians who were bursting to get into Etnaland.

It was this experience that taught us that we’d get so much more out of Etnaland if we joined in with the locals.

During summer, probably because of the heat, Etnaland opens for the day at 7:30pm. There was something really strange but equally awesome about entering a park for the first time as the sun is going down.

But first we need to buy tickets. So we entered a rabble of thousands of shirtless Italians outside the ticket office. They were all buzzing with excitment, so we had to do the same. ETNALAND BOYS EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

As soon as the ticket windows opened we got queue jumped several hundred times, they were sliding in at all angles, so we copied and suprisingly it worked very efficiently.

With tickets in hand and already kind of in love with Etnaland, we finally entered the park and made our way towards the reason for tonight’s visit.

Storm

Me and Heartline buried common sense alive in order to add Etnaland onto this trip and it’s all because of Storm.

Storm is 1 of only 2 Mack Mega-Lites in the World. Alpina Blitz (the other) is an exact Intamin Mega-Lite clone, that’s not as good as the coaster it’s cloning, which made it rather difficult to love. Thankfully though Storm does it own thing and it’s much easier to rank it uniquely.

I’ll cut straight to the point, Storm wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be. It’s a great coaster with several great airtime moments and fun inversions but overall the coaster just fell flat for me. Being both a bit of a Mega-Lite and Mack fanboy, it’s a hard pill to swallow that I’m not in love with either of the Mack Mega-Lites, never mind though, I’ve still got Piraten.

We rode Storm countless times throughout the night and worked up a bit of a friendship with the staff. The staff assign seating on Storm, but after we asked for the back row once, we basically became Storm VIPs. Every time they saw us we’d get a reaction and lead us straight to the back, even if we were the only ones riding, it was awesome.

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Miao Coaster

Are the Italians against the concept of credit whoring? Nope, we had no trouble riding this kiddie coaster with a cat on the front.

Hip Hop Coaster

Zamperla family coaster made amazing by the rowdy Italians riding it. Loud chanting throughout the entire layout, followed by a sitting ovation and EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! when we hit the brakes, it was amazing.

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Eldorado

Speaking of things getting rowdy, Eldorado, the park’s S&S Mine Train, was the life of the party. Every time a train was dispatched, and every time a train arrived back, every single person on board and every single person waiting in line would go absolutely crazy, with thunderous applause and a deafening EYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! It was so fun to join in with!

Our fellow riders had every reason to get rowdy too, because Eldorado is amazingly good fun, with some great forces and interactions with the man-made mountain it flies in and out of.

The moment that sticks with me the most though was on one of our many re-rides. We hit the brake run after having an awesome time speeding around in the dark, we all go EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! then the operator of a small children’s ride nearby shouts EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! back at us, so we all go EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! even louder. It was hilarious and it’s something that will forever stick with me, I really like Etnaland.

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It’s a really weird sensation to be exploring a park for the first time when it’s completely dark but that’s exactly what we were doing now, it was pretty special.

Dragon River

Finally we stumbled on what were were looking for, the park’s Hafema log flume Dragon River.

This was properly awesome, floating around in the pitch black, with no other people in sight, while in full blown Etnaland frame of mind, which means shouting EYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! on every drop.

Despite being a relatively small log flume we all got completely wrecked by it.

The School

The park is home to a really weird little dark ride called The School. It’s a ghost train that changes depending on how you answer questions, which are in Italian only. Heartline was trying to be smart, while me and his wife were shouting EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! and jabbing the buttons like crazy.

We saw while queuing that a member of the ride team was jump scaring every carriage as it returned to the station. We had all planned to respond by shouting EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! at him but sadly he didn’t scare us. He did however thank us for riding and told us to enjoy the rest of our night, so that was nice.

Jungle Splash

While exploring we noticed a sign saying that the park were aiming to open Jungle Splash, their giant shoot the chute attaction at 9:30pm. We weren’t too sure we wanted to get soaked this late at night but the ride’s theming intrigued us into giving it a go, this was a fantastic idea.

We boarded our boat with 18 shirtless rowdy Italians and off we went.

During the first section of the ride you enter a dark cave with suspenseful music playing. While floating through the darkness Heartline let out a massive sneeze that made everyone on the boat jump and shout EYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Then you enter an elevator lift and aggressive tribal drumming plays. We decided to drum along on our lap bar and everyone else joined in. I’m properly loving this now.

Just as we reached the top, me and Heartline let out an almighty EYYYYYYYYYYYYY! to which all our fellow riders joined us and we hit the splash down united as one.

What a perfect ending to our night at this awesome little park. One of those rare times where the locals make a park memorable.

There was a downside though, Etnaland would set the bar far too high for the rest of Italy to follow, but we wouldn’t know that yet.

Tonight we slept in a hotel halfway up Mount Etna and our plan for tomorrow was to hike up it, this sounded great on paper but didn’t quite work out.

The hotel itself was overpriced for what it was, to cash in on tourists visiting the area.

Then the man behind the check in desk put our plans of hiking Etna to bed. “There’s only 1 trek up tomorrow, we’re meeting here at 9am.” We wanted to do this our way, not with a big group and a set time, so f that. “It’s 90 Euros each for the cable car, a jeep, then walking.” 90 Euros to walk?! “It takes 3 hours to get to the top via those means, then you have to walk down yourself.” Yeah never mind…

Thanks for reading, click here for the next part of my report, where we explore Etna, escape Sicily and visit Rainbow Magicland and Cinecittà World.


Finland + Italy 08/19 – Linnanmäki

Day 2

Linnanmäki

PowerPark had Junker, Särkänniemi had Tornado, but until very recently Linnanmäki had nothing at all worth getting excited about. That all changed in 2019 though, when they shocked the enthusiast World and unleashed Taiga.

We arrived at the park just after lunch, ready for their 1pm opening, I’m getting Liseberg vibes already and that’s most certainly a good thing.

Taiga

After picking up our ride wristbands we headed straight to Taiga.

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Short review, I freaking love this coaster to death, it slotted straight into my top 10, I can’t get enough, get on your knees and bow down to the Bird.

The longer review? How long you got?

Liseberg’s Helix is my favourite coaster in the World, it has been since I rode it when it I only had 100 credits to my name and it has remained in that position as I approach 800. This Mack multi-launch coaster excels in everything it does and it does almost everything that you could ask a coaster for. Insanely violent airtime, bone crushing positives, 2 powerful launches, elegant and intense inversions, an incredible drop out of the station, a long ride experience, amazing train and restraint design, a beautiful setting and a ridiculously catchy soundtrack. I know I’ve forgotten something but it doesn’t matter, it’s not the individual components that make Helix the greatest coaster ever built, it’s when all that and more is combined.

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Taiga, this time an Intamin multi-launch coaster, goes down a very similar path. I could describe all the highlights for me, but it’s much more the way they are all combined into one kick ass coaster that matters. Insanely violent airtime, bone crushing positives, 2 powerful launches (the second one violently tickling your balls), elegant and intense inversions (that freaking stall man!), a long ride experience and amazing train and restraint design. After several laps, me and Heartline, catching our breath in the brakes said this, “it’s not better than Helix, but it’s clear, it will be a coaster along these lines that tops the King because Christ that was fantastic.” I can’t really think of a better review than that.

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I only needed Taiga to be better than Taron, to shut up Phantasialand fanboys, but the Bird went so hard it had me questioning how long it will be before Intamin build the new best coaster in the World.

Talking of Taron, there’s another aspect to Taiga that I freaking love, that Taron completely lacks, a sense of comedy. Which comes in the form of the giant bird, that to us at least, is Taiga himself.

There’s massive bird foot prints, through the whole queue line, through the ride shop and out the ride exit, this properly set me and Heartline off. It was as if the Bird was saying, yep, I’ve destroyed Taron, I’ve made you question if Helix is untouchable, that’s my work done, where can I get some food in this place?

Then there was the Bird’s face slowly fading in on the queueline TVs, as if to say, I see you, ready for another round boys?

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He’d always get a pat on the head when we sat in the front row too, we’re always happy to ride on the wings of Taiga and had to let him know.

In summary, Taiga is a fantastic coaster, the perfect example of why the multi-launch is the greatest coaster type in the World. The Bird has truly put Finland on the map as a must visit country for coaster nerds. Obey, or face the same fate as Taron.

Tulireki

For better or worse, aside from the Bird, there’s very little quality to find in Linnanmäki’s other coasters.

Starting with Tulireki, a Mack E-Motion coaster, which was disgusting. Managing to find incredible roughness out of nowhere but in a much more annoying than funny way.

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Salama

Then there was Salama, the park’s Maurer Spinner, it was fine, certainly much better than Tulireki at least.

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Taikasirkus

We rode the suspended dark ride Taikasirkus after that, it was good fun and nice to see theming from the quality Rex Studios in the UK.

Linnunrata eXtra

An enclosed custom Zierer Force coaster, built inside of an old water tower, with optional VR. We refused the VR and found the coaster itself to be slightly better than we were expecting.

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Vuoristorata

I used to always get excited when I saw Finland had the last Valdemar Lebech woodie I hadn’t ridden, then I saw it was a clone of the stupid Bakken one and I got sad.

Thankfully, unlike Bakken this one actually still uses it’s brake man, which means things are much more out of control and you get some quality airtime moments, I really enjoyed it.

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Ukko

Absolute trash. I hate SkyLoops at the best of times but this one was stupidly rough to add insult to injury.

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There it is, that piece of yellow scrap metal in the background, Taiga doesn’t look amused and neither was I.

We rode the Ferris Wheel next, mostly for aerial views of Taiga, but also to see the city, isn’t Linnanmäki in a beautiful location? I think it is.

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Kirnu

Saving the worst for almost last, it was time for Kirnu. Kirnu is an Intamin Zac Spin coaster and after a horrible experience on Gröna Lund’s Insane, me and Heartline were dreading this thing.

Thankfully Kirnu is much tamer than Insane, which in this case is a very good thing. So instead of getting viciously dropped on your head several times in a stupid manner, Kirnu opted to just violently lurch back and forth and only inverted once.

I hate it, I’d never ride it again but it’s several thousand times better than Insane.

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There it is, that piece of orange scrap metal in the background, through the structure of the Ferris Wheel, Taiga doesn’t look amused and neither was I.

Pikajuna

We completed the park’s coaster line up with a ride on their Mack powered coaster, Pikajuna.

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The track underneath the underwhelming Maurer Spinner. Do you see it? Isn’t it awesome how so many of the rides in the park are built on top and around each other? I think it is.

Next up we rode the Monorail to get dangerously close to the Bird.

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We everything ticked off, there was only one thing left to do. Spend the rest of the beautiful Finnish evening in the embrace of Taiga.

In the queue on one of our many re-rides, me and Heartline decided we wanted to return to the park tomorrow for 1 final hour with the Bird. So we visited the friendly team working in the ticket office and got cheap tickets to return tomorrow.

In case it isn’t obvious from that, I freaking love Linnanmäki. It really does feel like a discount Liseberg, but please don’t take that as me throwing any shade, that’s one of the strongest compliments I could give a park.

I’m certain without Taiga the park would have been a half day affair, much like the other 2 major Finnish parks, but with the Bird, the beautiful location, the park’s wonderful staff and that city park atmosphere, Linnanmäki is truly something special.

Day 3

Linnanmäki

Knowing we’d only get our full hour with the Bird if we were smart, today we made sure we were as efficient as possible. This meant parking right outside the park’s door, getting to Taiga’s entrance 15 minutes before it opened, ditching Heartline’s wife on a bench and then ditching all loose articles with her.

We managed 10 laps in an hour, with some running and some rest breaks on that bench. It was an awesome way to end our trip to Finland and the perfect goodbye to the Bird.

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I quite liked Helsinki airport, when we arrived at midnight and no one else was there, but this evening, nah man, it wasn’t great.

The tiny gate waiting area was standing only, packed wall to wall, then Norwegian messed up our seating arrangements, then we had to take a packed bus to the plane. Can Taiga not fly us to Italy?

You thought Helsinki airport was bad? It was nothing on Rome…

Our bags weren’t on the conveyor they were meant to be on and the staff instead of helping were just shouting at everyone. So we split up to find our bags, then got lost and then got shouted at again. Not the strongest of starts here.

Finally reunited we made our way to the car hire desk, where the rude woman there shouted at us in disgust for joining the queue without first taking a number from the machine. There 1 was group waiting and they were already at the desk…

We had to laugh when we asked to sign a document, regarding places we weren’t allowed to park the car, for fear of it getting stolen, because it listed half the places we would be visiting…

What followed was a several hour drive south, before arriving at our hotel, at almost midnight. At first we thought we would be sleeping in the car, after discovering the front door was locked and no one was answering the door bell. Thankfully in the end a friendly old man, the owner, let us in and told us to just go straight to our rooms, we’d sort the paperwork tomorrow, top bloke.

Thanks for reading, click here for day 4, where we visit one of the funniest parks in the World, Etnaland.


Finland + Italy 08/19 – PowerPark + Särkänniemi by Mega-Lite

Trip plans to Finland and Italy had been drawn up and forgotten several times over the last few years. There was also something more exciting to do, but when those other plans came and went, it was inevitable where we’d end up. So in Summer 2019, we figured we’d knock off both in one mega trip to Finland and Italy.

Our story begins with a flight to Finland with Norwegian. We arrived late at night, collected our hire car and then collapsed at the hotel.

Day 1

Before waking up extremely early for the long drive to PowerPark.

PowerPark

Located within PowerPark is PowerLand, an amusement park with an interesting selection of rides.

Junker

The first on our list was Junker, the park’s Gerstlauer Infinity coaster. This would be the 3rd Infinity for me in just 2 months, after Fury and Mystic, and I was hoping it would continue their trend of being awesome. It did.

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An always surprisingly intense launch sends you flying into a wonderful layout full of strong airtime moments and intense inversions. Junker was awesome and is easily my favourite of the launched Infinity coasters.

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Neo’s Twister

A Fabbri spinner, made slightly less dull by each of the coaster cars having anime characters on them. We spent the entire queue hoping we got the pretty girl and not the creepy old man.

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Thunderbird

With Troy reminding me that GCI can make quality coasters, it was time to add another to my collection, fingers crossed this one isn’t boring. But then it kind of was…

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Thunderbird is fine, if totally forgettable. Heartline asked me on the brakes if I preferred this or Thunderhead and I had no idea what Thunderhead was at the time. That is the level of forgettable these GCIs are. For the record, Thunderbird is slightly better than Thunderhead because it didn’t give me a headache.

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Cobra

Time to quick fire tick off the park’s final creds, starting with their Vekoma Boomerang.

Mine Train

Then their Zamperla kiddy coaster.

Joyride

Ending with a lap on their L&T Compact Coaster. The only thing I enjoyed about this was that we were riding an exact clone later on the trip and this made me excited for what was coming.

Then it was time for a few more laps of Junker before we left the park for another long drive.

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I enjoyed my short visit to PowerPark but I fully accept that without Junker it wouldn’t have been worth the epic drive to get there.

Särkänniemi

A park name I’d heard said hundreds of times, now I can finally say I’ve been.

You can call it sleep deprivation all you want, but there was something special about just being in Särkänniemi. I’m putting it down to the park’s visuals, with it’s fantastic location on the water, massive observation tower and the way all the attractions are squeezed into this tiny city park.

Tornado

First up was the park’s star attraction, Tornado, one of only two Intamin SLCs in the World.

My experience with the other Intamin SLC, also named Tornado, wasn’t a positive one, thankfully though this Tornado is much better.

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Firstly it needs to be mentioned just how cool the ride’s station is. Built inside of a massive man-made cave, it was unlike anything I’d ever seen before.

Then there’s the ride’s setting, built around and on top of the park’s log flume, with sections underground, a section in the car park and parts buried in trees. Tornado goes everywhere and it really adds character to the ride.

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The ride itself is good fun, miles better than a Vekoma SLC, just don’t for a second think it’ll be as good as a B&M Invert.

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I apologise for the lack of pictures from here on out, I was half asleep and forgot.

Vauhtimato

A Tivoli small, poorly themed to Angry Birds, fair enough.

Hype

My 3rd Premier Sky Rocket 2 and probably the best example yet. It didn’t have comfort collars and it didn’t try to break my spine, yes my criteria for being the best is low. I will say though, the launches on these things are pretty insane, the rest I could live without.

Trombi

I know you’re meant to hate Volares but I just find them hilarious, even more so when I’m falling asleep. Yes they are pretty messed up, but me and Heartline just spent the entire ride laughing until it hurt while all manner of awful things occured. With the right company, Volares are good fun, sue me.

MotoGee

Talking of good fun, MotoGee, the park’s Zamperla Moto Coaster, was not.

Half Pipe

I was kind of nervous before my first Intamin Half Pipe. Heartline told me his last experience with one was awful and I’d read several people describe them as terrifying. Thankfully it wasn’t either of those things, it was just pointless. The best part of the whole experience was reading “STAN ELRIS” written on the queueline fencing.

With the park complete, we went for a couple more rides on Tornado. Then Heartline and his wife went up the observation tower. I assumed it was included in park entry and was too cheap to pay the up charge.

After one final short drive we got to our hotel for the night and I crashed hard. Thanks to late opening tomorrow we were more than able to catch up on sleep though.

Thanks for reading, click here for the next part of my report, 2 days of Linnanmäki, riding the fantastic Taiga.


Europe 07/19 – Toverland

Day 4

Toverland

When visiting in 2016, I left Toverland rather underwhelmed. Yeah the park has some really nicely themed areas but they also have 2 massive dimly lit warehouses. Sure the park has the wonderful Troy but they also have the incredibly average Booster Bike as a main attraction. It probably also didn’t help proceedings how busy the park was during our half day visit.

Thankfully, a mere 3 years later, major changes have taken place at the park and turned Toverland into something really special.

And it all begins at the entance. Gone are the days of entering a dimly lit warehouse. You now enter the park through their beautiful new entrance plaza. The fantastic Troy to your right and the stunning new Port Laguna directly ahead.

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I was not expecting this. Neither was I expecting a massive smile to uncontrollably appear on my face as we walked through Port Laguna and heard it’s gorgeous score blaring.

Then we arrived in Avalon, another area that was new to me, this one even more beautiful and much more important.

Fenix

Because it was home to Fenix, the park’s new (to me) B&M Wing Coaster.

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I don’t think my words or even my pictures can do this coaster and area the justice it deserves. It’s truly breathtaking what the park has created here, a stunning area, with an insane level of detail, that feels alive with wonder and magic.

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The queue for Fenix really continues the trend of going above and beyond in the theming department. There were several moments when I just stopped walking to admire my surroundings. At the end of this luscious labyrinth, you reach the station, which is also stunning.

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Fenix, as just the coaster hardware itself, is good fun, though nothing too impressive. It wouldn’t really make sense for it to be an intense experience like Flug der Dämonen. But on the other hand it doesn’t flow as well as Wild Eagle, a tamer example, that I feel Fenix is much more akin to.

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Ultimately though, when looking at Fenix and Avalon as a whole, the park have a done a fantastic job and I’ve no doubt it has and will continue to do wonders for the park.

Sadly Merlin’s Quest, Avalon’s other star attraction, was closed all day, which was a massive shame because it looks amazing.

After 3 laps of Fenix, it was walk on and I wasn’t taking any risks today, we headed over to Dwervelwind.

Dwervelwind

Me and Heartline discovered that Dwervelwind, the park’s Mack spinner, is really hit and miss. Sometimes you’ll barely spin and it’s a bit boring, sometimes you’ll spin so fast you’ll barely be able to see when you hit the brakes. For our one and only ride today, Dwervel was playing it safe.

Booster Bike

For my brother’s sake I put myself through a lap of Booster Bike. It was alright and it was amusing to watch him struggle to get into the stupid seats, much like I struggled 3 years ago.

Next up my brother rode Toos-Express, a Vekoma Junior coaster located in the dimly lit warehouse that used to be the entrance to the park. While he rode I strolled around the foul smelling warehouse and realised just how far the park has come in 3 years.

We went for food next at Katara Plaza. The choice of food was insane, it was delicious and easily the best food of the trip.

Troy

We saved the best for last. After riding and being let down by countless GCIs recently, I was certain that I wouldn’t view Troy as strongly as I did 3 years ago. I was wrong, it still kicks serious ass and stands tall in a sea of mediocre GCI creations. Great airtime moments, vicious laterals and a relentless out of control feeling, Troy is certainly one of Europe’s best wooden coasters.

After 3 laps my brother said he needed a break, so we went back for a few more flights on Fenix.

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Having now run out of things to do, and still having 2 hours before we needed to leave, I wanted to keep bouncing between Troy and Fenix but my brother said he’d rather leave and take the drive back to the Channel Tunnel slow. To compromise, I said we’d ride Troy 5 more times and then visit the gift shop, then we’d leave.

What a great final day of the trip today had been. Toverland had been the surprise of the trip. I was expecting to ride Fenix a few times, ride the other coasters once and then want to leave, but I’d have quite happily spent the whole day here. It’s crazy how far the park has come in only 3 years and I look forward to what’s coming next.

The drive to the tunnel went fine and we arrived 1 minute after the “do not arrive more than 2 hours early” rule expired. Meaning we got on a much earlier train, free of charge.

Thank you so much for reading.


Europe 07/19 – Walibi Holland

Day 3

Walibi Holland

When I first visited Walibi Holland with Heartline in 2016 I had an amazing day and walked away very fond of the park. Lost Gravity and Goliath were top 20 coasters and I absolutely loved the way the park presented itself. It was edgy and out-there but in a charming kind of way. I’d always defend the park when a doubter said they didn’t like the park’s atmosphere and I’d regularly make jokes with Heartline about the stupid things we should do next time we visit the park. Such as powering through the entrance plaza blasting the Lost Gravity theme.

Sadly 3 years later and the park has completely lost it’s charm and the only atmosphere left is that of digust.

I’d been wanting to revisit Walibi Holland for some time but what finally brought me back was the park had just opened Europe’s second RMC, Untamed.

We made sure to get to the park 30 minutes before opening today because over the last few days I kept seeing online that Untamed either had stupidly long queues or was broken.

Until official park opening time, Walibi hold you at several sets of automatic doors inside of the park’s large entrance building. This was fine for about 5 minutes, but then suddenly several hundred school kids arrived behind us and Christ did things get disgusting. Spitting on the floor (we are inside remember), shop lifting, fighting, pushing and worst of all making insane amounts of noise. You couldn’t hear yourself think, let alone have a conversation. So I pulled out the park map and used my finger to show my brother the quickest route to Untamed.

Finally we were released, no fanfare like Heide, just sweaty doors slowly juddering open while kids push you out of the way… Credit to my brother, who hates kids more than I do, he was determined to not let these bastards beat us to Untamed. He seriously took off and I struggled to catch him for a while.

Untamed

Not to brag but we were in the first batch of people to make it to the coaster. In the queue we went and IMMEDIATELY these kids were jumping fences, meaning that if went the correct way through the queue we’d lose everything we just ran for. So we did the same. Credit to the staff members just watching the kids do this by the way…

I see my brother wiping tears from his eye, I know this is a shambles but it’s not that that bad man. “I took a plant to the eye while ducking under that fence.”

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In all that unpleasantness I had forgotten what the journey was for, but now I remembered, it was Untamed time. Straight into the back row we got and off we went into the wilderness.

I struggled so damn hard ranking Untamed, it almost broke me and I’ve decided to take you on the journey I was forced to go on. Before riding Untamed, my RMC ranking was as follows: Twisted Timbers > Wicked Cyclone > Lightning Rod > Twisted Cyclone > Wildfire

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I massively enjoyed the outwards banked pre lift section, it didn’t really do anything but it was just so dumb it amused me. Then we hit the lift, which was an interesting experience. Every time the lift motor surged, which it kept doing, the entire lift structure swayed. No other RMC I’ve ridden does this, are we sure this has been signed off guys?

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Thankfully the lift didn’t collapse and soon we were hauling around Untamed’s insane looking layout but there was a problem. For reasons I still can’t explain, on this first lap, nothing was riding how it should. The airtime moments were good but nowhere near as strong as other RMCs and the inversions felt sluggish and boring. I was willing it on to kick my ass, while faking a smile and making all the right noises, even though it wasn’t earning them.

We hit the brakes and I turned to my brother, “how was that for you?” “it’s good.” “it is but it should be a lot better than that.”

Twisted Timbers > Wicked Cyclone > Lightning Rod > Twisted Cyclone > Wildfire > Untamed

Ouch.

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The queue had only gotten to around 20 minutes by this point, so we went straight back around for a second lap. This time in the 2nd car of the train, things were A LOT more impressive. The airtime was almost to the level I demanded, the inversions were throwing me around now and I was really starting to enjoy Untamed’s spread out layout.

Twisted Timbers > Wicked Cyclone > Untamed > Lightning Rod > Twisted Cyclone > Wildfire

I consider Twisted Timbers and Wicked Cyclone to be a tier above the rest, so was very happy with where Untamed was sitting now, I’d just have to come back later to confirm things, as the queue was now 90 minutes.

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Lost Gravity

Next up we went to Lost Gravity and entered one of the worst queuing experiences of my life, 45 minutes of non stop school children being disgusting. Throwing things, smoking, screaming, shouting, spitting, fighting, it was deeply unpleasant and not once did the staff even attempt to sort it out either.

To add to that, the once great queue is now a shambles. No audio, no effects, full of litter and graffiti. I had told my brother how fun the queue for Lost Gravity was before the trip and now he was looking at me like I was crazy.

As for the actual coaster though, it’s still an outstanding piece of hardware and offers an experience that’s hard to find anywhere else. Airtime moments so violent it hurts coupled with those awesome winged cars, it’s just as good as I remembered from 3 years ago but now with experience I respect it even more.

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Goliath

Goliath was next and with it came another awful queuing experience. The school kids were up to their normal antics but had now added climbing ride area fences and blasting offensive music offensively loudly to their list of crimes. A man visiting with his young children asked the assholes why they were being assholes, to which they replied by being assholes. Did the staff do anything? I’ll let you guess…

2 F-16s were circling the park while we queued, if only they were there for target practice…

Goliath itself though was running far better than it was when I last visited. The airtime moments were much more powerful but this did help to highlight just how boring Goliath is between those moments.

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I was hungry now, so I decided to grab something from the new food place near Untamed. The long queue followed the same format as Lost Gravity and Goliath and to rub salt in the wound, the woman serving was extremely rude to me. Oh, and then the food was unedible, so I threw it straight in a bin…

With Heartline, I got my entire lunch from the famous Dutch snack vending machines that they have on park. So I walked over there to find them all empty and several broken…

Drako

My brother needed the Tivoli cred, so that was next.

Then we finally found food in the form of tornado potatoes, which weren’t great but desperate times and all.

Untamed was listed as closed on the app, so we decided to pay it a visit and see what was happening, praying it wouldn’t be down all day.

When we got there a man was grinding the track on the prelift section, that’s ruined my plans for more re-rides I thought, but we stayed to watch anyway just in case. This was the right decision because about 20 minutes after we arrived, Untamed reopened. We entered the queue and walked straight onto the coaster, of course choosing to sit in the 2nd car.

This time, Untamed showed us what it was truly capable of, and Christ is it a fantastic coaster when it decides to be. The airtime moments were now so intense they’d instantly start me having a laughing fit. The inversions were insane and executed perfectly, with the final barrel roll being the highlight. I spent the entire ride laughing, making stupid noises and being violently thrown all over the place.

Then we hit the brakes hard and a sudden sick thought came to me, I think I like Untamed more than Twisted Timbers.

Untamed > Twisted Timbers > Wicked Cyclone > Lightning Rod > Twisted Cyclone > Wildfire

I NEED to be sure. Straight back in the queue (only 5 minutes at this point) and straight back on, in the golden 2nd car. Yeah, it is better than Twisted Timbers, for sure, but only just. When running properly, Untamed matches the strength of the airtime on TT, though it does have less airtime moments. It’s the inversions and more varied layout however that help slightly push Untamed above for me.

Still not quite believing what I was saying, I decided it was going to take 3 laps in a row, to which Untamed responded by giving me the best ride so far.

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Content to leave Untamed alone for a while, we went back for another lap of Goliath, as the queue was now less than half of what we queued earlier.

Next up I went back to Lost Gravity and decided to use the single rider queue. Due to the 4 x 2 winged seating on Lost Gravity, the single rider queue was flying. This meant I was able to rack up 4 laps, while my brother went to get the cred on El Condor, the World’s worst SLC, which I wasn’t going to put my body through for no gains. I fell even more in love with Lost Gravity during this alone time, getting assigned a winged seat every time. My favourite lap was when I was put on a car full of 7 boring people, who didn’t react or even smile during the carnage, while I’m there screaming, flailing, laughing and they are looking at me like I’m the strange one.

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Speed of Sound

I probably should have just stayed at Lost Gravity for more alone time but I decided to follow my brother to the park’s Boomerang coaster. The normally dreadful queue was made 10 times worse by the last of the school kids getting in 1 last ride.

Platform 13

Knowing the enclosed queue for Platform 13 would have been hell on Earth, we waited until we were fairly sure all of the school kids had left the park before attempting it.

There was certainly evidence of their presence, as the entire queue was full of litter that you needed to step over…

The scare zone walkthrough, AKA the best part of the ride, was awful compared to how it was last time. Litter everywhere, no effects working, too many lights on. Another instance of telling my brother, “this queue is really cool” for the park ruin it…

Platform 13, the coaster, wasn’t running very well either. It was rattling and smashing me about, which it didn’t 3 years ago.

While my brother was buying merch in the gift shop, I heard a bloke say that Untamed was down. It was now an hour from park close, so that’s exactly where we were heading, this doesn’t sound good.

As we got there the queue was being evacuated and so was a train that had come to a complete stop in the first set of block brakes at the end of the ride, yeah this isn’t looking very promising.

I went to speak to a lovely bloke who was positioned at the ride entrance, it turned out he was an enthusiast too. He told me that the coaster had come into the end brakes too fast (from my last few rides I completely believed that!), which had triggered the computers to shut down the ride. This is a common fault that happens on coasters all the time but the issue here was Untamed was brand new and onsite engineering were struggling to restart the ride from this position. RMC had left the park earlier today and were currently flying back to the US, so the park were struggling to get external help too.

I felt for the poor bloke, and the park too, this was an instance that was completely out of their hands, but everyone was kicking off, as if the park closed Untamed just to spite them, as opposed to it being an extremely complicated piece of equipment suffering teething problems.

Speaking of idiots like this, 2 UK based “enthusiasts” were refusing to leave the air gates, despite the rest of the queue having been fully evacuated. Thankfully security soon put an end to their stupidity…

Everyone waiting was offered a voucher to come back tomorrow for half price, a very good move from the park.

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With that our day at Walibi Holland was over and I was conflicted. On 1 hand the park itself had been a series of awful experiences, which has absolutely soured my opinion of the park. On the other, I now had a new coaster in my top 10 and a new favourite RMC, so it was worth it.

Thanks for reading, click here for the final part of my report, where we visit the wonderful Toverland.


Europe 07/19 – Heide Park

Day 2

Heide Park

I’ve always been the kind of person who likes making lists, so to no one’s surprise I have a list of parks I consider easy to get to but I haven’t visited yet, at the very top of this list was Germany’s Heide Park.

Heartline had told me it’s a lovely park, with a solid ride line up and beautiful German operations. Another enthusiast friend of mine, Stealthfan, had told me the park reminded him of 2000’s era Chessington and Alton Towers, otherwise known as when these park were at their best and helped to mould me into the ride nerd I am today.

The main reason for visiting though was Colossos, the park’s Intamin prefab. It had just been reborn after years of neglect led it to standing but not operating for nearly 2 seasons. Prefabs are my favourite kind of woodie, so the reopening of this monster coupled with the strong words from my friends had me dying to pay this park a visit.

Another early start today but I’d soon scare myself awake up by flying down the autobahn at 130mph. Obviously this led to us arriving at the park a little too early but that was fine. I’d been following the park’s queue times recently and it looked as if I’d need every minute possible in order to make the most of the park.

We walked into the park and through it’s pretty entrance area before arriving at a containment gate that stopped you getting to the main park before it was time. At first this was a little off putting, several hundred people crammed behind a gate, but then to my surprise, the park turned this into a really fun experience.

A really entertaining man arrived to hype up the crowd, tell some jokes and lead us all in an amazing countdown to the gates opening, as pyros were set off and a beautiful musical score blasted. Then we were in…

Unlike Lotte World, it seems running is fully accepted in Heide Park, as the man himself was encouraging us to run to Colossos. Past waving mascots we bolted, waving back of course, on route to the back of the park, to the beast, to Colossos. This run ended up being strangely awesome, it was so funny to see the determination leave people’s bodies as their stamina faded. Me and my brother were dropping and drawing deep breaths on all manner of park furniture, until we finally made it.

Colossos – Kampf der Giganten

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Straight into the queue we ran and while catching my breath, it hit me, I was here and Christ does this coaster look insane in the flesh.

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We only queued about 5 minutes before we were in the newly themed and rather awesome looking station.

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When Colossos was reborn for 2019 and the Kampf der Giganten subtitle was added, a lot of work had been done. This included the new station, new trains, a new theming element near the end of the ride, a new soundtrack, oh and retracking the entire coaster.

Having ridden (and loved) all the prefabs except Colossos, while at the air gates I decided to start worrying my brother. “You are about to experience airtime like you’ve never even dreamt of before.” “Is it THAT scary?” “I’d say it’s probably scarier than you’re thinking yeah.” Him terrified and me buzzing, we took our seats in the back row of the brand new trains and off we went…

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While ascending the lift, while smiling like an idiot, I decided to keep teasing him. “You see that drop (160 foot at 61 degrees), you are going to be ejected so hard man.” Then it came, and the only thing ejected was my dreams…

The drop was completely forceless and trimmed, unlike any other prefab. Don’t worry though, here comes the first airtime hill, if this is anything like El Toro or T Express I’m about to be launched into orbit. Nope! Mild floater at best… Oh and more trims on way down… I begin shouting in disgust and a woman in the row in front turns around to stare at me with a face like a sack of screwdrivers.

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Next hill, trimmed on the way up AND down, also pointless, if that was El Toro, I’d now have a T bar shaped bruise on my thighs but it’s not, what’s even happening? I shout again, “where’s the freaking airtime????” The woman turns around, this time really angry.

Here comes the turnaround… On Toro, it’s a time to breath but also forceful enough to keep you amused. On Colossos, it’s a time to question why the coaster has no airtime at all but then goes on for long enough that you get bored.

Speed hill, does nothing, I’m still shouting, woman is now 180 degrees in her seat to stare at me.

Next they trim a barely moving coaster travelling in a straight line into a smooth but utterly forceless helix. “WHAT IS THIS????” The woman is livid now and so am I.

To end Colossos, you are treated(?) to 3 airtime hills, that don’t have airtime, with the final one of them going through the previously mentioned new theming element. Then it’s over.

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To say I was disapointed would be the understatement of the century. I got off the coaster, walked through the shop, didn’t even look at the merch that I was sure I’d end up buying today and went off to explore the rest of the park.

We’d end up riding Colossos another 3 times throughout the day, in different parts of the train, at different times of the day and it rode like crap every time. Heartline and Stealthfan were both surprised to hear how badly it was riding and both implied it was probably ruined during it’s retracking.

It seems such a shame to bring it back to life to be a shell of it’s former self. Never mind though, I’ve still got the Bull, the Balder and the Korean Bae.

Desert Race

Next up, while everyone was still running to be disappointed by Colossos, we thought it would be a good time to ride Desert Race, the park’s Intamin hydraulic launch coaster.

This coaster is almost Rita at Alton Towers but somehow rides a lot smoother and more forceful. I enjoyed it and so did my brother who normally hates Intamin accelerator coasters.

For better or worse, with Colossos knocked off so easily, I now had time to admire the park on route to Flug. Heide Park is beautiful and has a very welcoming atmosphere, the kind of park that’s just nice to exist in. I can totally see where Heartline and Stealthfan were coming from when describing the park to me, they aren’t wrong, it really is that nice.

Flug der Dämonen

While I’m talking up the park’s commitment to atmosphere, there’s no better example than the area Flug lives in.

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Beautiful theming, a wonderful sinister soundtrack, it’s awesome, and yeah, it is like something you’d have found at Alton Towers in it’s golden years.

The coaster’s queue and station continue this trend and are both perfect at setting the tone.

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Flug der Dämonen didn’t let Wild Eagle remain my favourite B&M Wing Coaster for long. It’s intense, flows perfectly, looks beautiful and it’s interactions with the amazing theming are incredible. I really liked Flug and for me it’s the best ride in the park.

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Krake

From one quality B&M coaster to another.

Krake is the park’s B&M Dive Coaster and despite being short manages to offer a really enjoyable ride exprience.

Keeping with the Heide Park tradition, the theming and soundtrack on this coaster are also amazing.

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After Krake we went for some crepes and they were both well priced and delicious, are we sure Merlin own this park?

Big Loop

To let lunch settle we decided to join the 10 minute queue for Big Loop, the park’s Vekoma looper. The only thing we didn’t account for was German efficiency, because almost instantly we were spotted as a 2 and asked to power through the queue to fill the train. Stomach don’t fail me now.

Big Loop was fine, a lot smoother than I was expecting.

Bobbahn

The only Mack Bobsled in operation that I hadn’t ridden, and what a great example of the hardware this was. Maybe not quite as good as Blackpool’s Avalanche but a close second best.

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Limit

Even the lovely Heide Park can’t escape the ugliness of the SLC, thankfully Limit didn’t ride too badly and it’s hidden away at the back of the park where you can just pretend it’s not there.

Next up was another ride on Colossos, still crap.

Then we visited the Donut Factory for a sugar rush to cheer ourselves up. I didn’t know the Donut Factory had made it outside of Thorpe Park, so it was a lovely surprise because I really enjoy the messed up creations they make here.

Ghostbusters 5D

The park’s screen based shooting dark ride was quite fun but nothing too special. Sadly it just amounted to shooting generic ghosts over and over, as opposed to having much to do with the actual franchise that I mildly enjoy.

Drachengrotte

I’m a huge fan of the How to Train Your Dragon franchise however, so I was really excited to try out the park’s boat ride themed to it. It was nothing mind blowing but I’ll enjoy anything that plays the amazing score from the movies.

Grottenblitz

The 2nd Mack powered coaster of the trip, this time featuring a highly detailed indoor section.

Indy-Blitz

We finished up the coasters of Heide Park with a ride on their Zierer family coaster Indy-Blitz.

Scream

After some pizza, also really nice, it was time to experience the ride I had been putting off, Scream. Scream is the park’s 200+ foot tall gyro drop tower and it’s awesome. It’s geared to absolutely terrify you, with the way the queue wraps around the base of the tower and also the haunting soundtrack. Scream also provides an amazing drop, one of the best pure freefall drops out there.

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Another flight with the Flug next, God I love this ride.

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We decided to have another lap of Colossos before finishing for the day, but as it was walk on, we opted for 2. Both were lacklustre…

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Not wanting to end the amazing day with a disappointment, I forced my brother to follow me back to Flug, which had a 5 minute queue, for “2 more laps only I promise.”

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Desperate to buy the Heide Park soundtrack, we visited the park’s main shop, where I chatted to a very friendly lady about how good my day was and walked away with several ride postcards. Sadly they didn’t have the soundtrack on park but I have since ordered it from IMAscore and it gets blasted on the regular.

I had a fantastic day at Heide Park, yeah it’s a shame Colossos is bad but it didn’t bother me too much because in the end I just found myself having so much fun that I forgot about it. Oh and Flug helped that too, bow down to the Dämonen.

Due to a crash on the autobahn, we were forced to go the rural way back to our next hotel, also in the Netherlands. This was great for sight-seeing but terrible for my already desperate looking fuel tank. In the end we made it to a petrol station 1 mile from the hotel with only 4 miles of range left in the tank.

We had an interesting arrival at the hotel. There was a massive wedding party going in the lobby area, with deafening live music being played. So I had to check into a hotel like you’d order a drink in the club, with shouting and strange hand movements. Thankfully once we reached the room it was completely silent though.

Thanks for reading, click here for day 3, the death of Walibi Holland, also featuring the best RMC I’d ever ridden.


Europe 07/19 – Bobbejaanland by Mega-Lite

In recent years, my youngest brother, who’s slowly making his way up the enthusiast ladder, has been begging me to take him on a trip inspired by the ones me and Heartline go on. For various reasons it never came to be, but that was until summer 2019, when plans came together so perfectly there was no way I was going to let it slip away again.

This trip would see me return to 3 parks I’d previously visited, completely ruining the reputation of 1 and improving that of the other 2. It would also allow me to go to a park I’d be dying to visit for many years.

That’s enough set up, let’s dive in.

Day 1

Bobbejaanland

Today began early as we made our way towards the Channel Tunnel, which is still the best way to explore Europe.

In no time at all we were in France, not long after that Belgium, finally, after a brief stint of driving on ancient cobblestones, we were in the car park of Bobbejaanland.

A history lesson… Last time me and Heartline visited the park we walked away very disappointed. Rude staff, an unpleasant atmosphere and questionable decisions that kept us from getting on all the coasters were the factors that led us to that opinion. I was hoping things had improved since then but was going in expecting the worst.

First impressions were strong, with the park’s entrance area looking far better than it did last time. I paid for parking on a fancy new touch screen, before we made our way into the park and headed straight for the reason I came back.

Fury

The park’s brand new triple launch Gerstlauer Infinity coaster, named Fury and themed to the element of fire.

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Firstly I need to mention just how great the coaster looks. Fury has forever changed the skyline of Bobbejaanland with the way the striking orange track towers over the park, easily visible on the drive in. Then there’s the theming, which for a park like Bobbejaanland is really impressive. The station looks awesome and the queueline rock work was far more impressive than I was expecting.

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How’s the coaster though? It’s really good! The launches, 3 on a multi-pass, are much more intense than I was prepared for, especially the backwards pass that you can’t see coming. Then you’re violently ejected over the first hill, which once again I wasn’t ready for. Then from this point onwards Fury is a wonderful blend of inversions and strong forces.

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Oh but I haven’t told you the best bit…

Fury has a unique element to it that massively enhances the experience. The coaster has a turntable just after you leave the station, which means it has the ability to tackle the madness forwards or backwards. This on it’s own is awesome, but to make it even better you and your fellow riders are given the choice of which direction you will be travelling, via buttons on the restraints.

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Forward Fury is really good fun but backwards Fury is insane. This way you now get 2 backwards launches, hit the violent ejector with no way of seeing it coming and brave the high speed twists and turns blind, it’s a crazy experience and a rare one too.

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With the trip off to a great start, it was now time to let my brother dust off the park’s other coasters. Our plan was to keep bouncing back to Fury every few rides, a genius plan, because Bobbe’s other creds are mostly awful.

I apologise for the lack of photos from here, but rest assured you aren’t missing anything special.

Speedy Bob

First up was the Mack Wild Mouse that the park closed in mine and Heartline’s faces last time we visited. Thankfully I was more successful today and credit where it’s due the coaster was hauling serious ass.

Mount Mara

Next up was the park’s enclosed Vekoma Illusion that the park closed in mine and Heartline’s faces last time we visited. I honestly quite enjoyed this strange coaster. Firstly for the comedy of just how messed up it was, but then when it really got going it was pretty awesome, especially the surprise vicious pop of air that suddenly made me pay attention to what I was riding.

Typhoon

I’d run out of new things to try, so I decided I’d keep myself amused by watching my brother get assaulted by a terrible Eurofighter. The word progression is redefined when you look at how far Gerstlauer has come from this crap to Fury…

Naga Bay

Probably the worst custom Maurer Spinner ever created. At least I didn’t have to wait 40 minutes to ride it like I did last time.

For lunch we had pizza, which was an improvement on my last visit, when the park closed a restaurant in mine and Heartline’s faces… The food was nice and I enjoyed that I managed to go through 6 plastic forks in 10 minutes.

Oki Doki

This custom Vekoma Junior was the best coaster in the park previously, now it’s the 3rd best, progress!

Dream Catcher

The queue for Dream Catcher brought back some terrible memories of everything going wrong for us last visit, oh and yeah, the coaster is still awful.

Bob Express

Bobbejaanland’s Mack powered coaster is quite good for what it is. It was also nice to experience it in a much better state of mind than last time around.

With all the coasters now ridden and 3 new credits added to my list, we went for 1 last lap of Fury before leaving the park and heading to our hotel in the Netherlands.

Well, I wasn’t expecting that, Bobbejaanland had done it, it had been a massive improvement on last time and I managed to walk away rather satisfied. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t be rushing back, but I would be happy to revisit when the time is right, unlike last time when I cursed the park and everyone in it.

Thanks for reading, click here for day 2, where I visit the fantastic Heide Park and get angry at an Intamin prefab…