Arrived bright and early the next morning for the park with the lowest capacity rides ever. Nothing here seats a decent amount of people in one go, so what appears on the surface to be a quiet park can easily get some significant queues.
Day 2 – Skyline Park
This park has become somewhat of a testing ground for Maurer Rides, being home to more than one first-of-their-kind installations. They also have a bit of a repetetive naming system for their attractions.
Nothing opened for the first half hour or so, but a queue began to form outside #1 Sky Rider and we joined in. This unique Caripro Gryoflyer seemed like a fun idea, but wasn’t particularly interesting. The cars have four seats facing in towards a thick metal pole that suspends you from the track. You can spin the car by this pole yourselves, but it looked like too much effort and never really got going in the hands of anyone else, particularly with the limitations of the layout.
#2 Sky Wheel
I was dreading my first (and the world’s first) Sky Loop as the lift hill inverts before the ride even begins and I particularly hate long periods of being held upside-down (which might seem strange for this hobby, but it’s not actually that common to be held like it). Grabbing the first train of the day meant it was over with quickly. I was quite surprised by how much this ride didn’t offend me, it was actually reasonably fun once the start was over, which happened to be just on the limit of how much I could bear.
#3 Sky Spin
Quite surprised by how much this did offend me. Stock model Maurer spinners seem to lack a certain spark that their custom models often have.
#4 Achterbahn
Usually Schwarzkopf have something rather special to offer, seemingly ahead of their time as a manufacturer in the previous century. Sadly this Wildcat model is a rather uninspired layout that rides like a more structurally sound Zyklon Galaxi at best.
Having planned the entire trip around the most offensive ride construction project of all time, I was suitably disappointed to see it wasn’t finished.
Probably should have queued for the Bobkart earlier. It took about an hour for every child in Europe to board. I do love them though, the self controlled burst of acceleration is always surprisingly powerful in what feels like a very exposed environment and this one didn’t disappoint.
Did my first and last Butterfly and Bayern curve in this park too. They don’t count.
Although the rides at Skyline Park were interesting, none of them were particularly good and certainly nothing was worth queuing for again, so we headed out for something that wasn’t a theme park.
The village below Neuschwanstein Castle seems to be about 50% car park, but finding a space was still a painful experience with many signs out front saying full and attendants that were difficult to negotiate with. From the village, a bus takes you up to the top if you’re on a tight schedule/not an avid mountaineer.
Although not usually my thing, I have to admit it does look great when you get there.
I got addicted to Germany at some point in 2016. There’s something very satisfying about doing road trips over there (autobahn efficiency?) For this particular jaunt we hired a car in Frankfurt and had 1 night near there, 1 night near Leipzig and did everything else out of Munich, totalling about 2500 miles. For a lengthy hire in which I had gone out of my way to ensure an unlimited mileage option, they decided to provide me with a very thirsty ‘hot hatch’. This left me torn, as it was fun while on the road, but I spent as much time in petrol stations as I did making progress. Bastards.
Day 0 – Holiday Park
Decided to hit the ground running by taking advantage of a late opening day and trying some night rides on the multi award winning Intamin hyper. I imagine most parks would think there was something wrong with you for showing up and paying full price at 9pm, but from previous experience this place seems to have somewhat of a cult following even with the locals, so no eyelids were batted.
Expedition GeForce
I still found it to be a great ride when measured in moments – some of the airtime is rather ridiculous, but I find it a little too much of a one trick pony these days compared to the more recent world beaters. The trims, uneventful corners and everything in between the signature hills just take me out of it a bit.
Day 1 – Legoland Deutschland
54 Legolands in and I’ve almost decided they’re not worthwhile parks to me now. It’s a shame the creative and unique side of their respective Minilands can’t be reflected in the ride line-ups.
#1 Drachenjagd
Started off with the smallest coaster. Gerstlauer are really good at this size of ride and luckily for me there’s plenty more of that around this region.
#2 Feuerdrache
Their Dragon coaster was unusually rough compared to clones 10 years its junior, which isn’t a good sign. At least it was running thirty trains at once in true German style.
Unforunately I can’t make the same excuse for #3 Project X – Test Strecke, which behaved considerably worse than other Mack wild mouse models of the exact same age. You don’t need to know what they look like. My camera didn’t.
Also spent too long in the sun waiting for a 4D cinema show. Can’t remember which film I saw at which Legoland anymore, which shows how much of an impact they make.
Surprise hit of the park was Jungle X-pedition. It featured a dark ride section and a backwards drop. The signs of a quality attraction.
Having the same boats as Valhalla only added to it.
The train around the park offered some rare shade and little else.
The highlight of Miniland.
One of those spiteful fairs with the face of a wacky worm cred on the poster, but nothing when you get there.
They’ve outdone Space World by freezing people in a pool.
Juvelen.
Foreshadowing.
A little disappointed with this Legoland, but I don’t expect much from these parks any more due to having already done most of what they have to offer in other places. Minilands are always fun for about half an hour and the boat ride was nice to see but without any other standout innovations, I can’t see any of the Legolands suprassing Billund’s lineup. Maybe they want to keep it that way, as it is the original.
We didn’t get on very well with our trail of hurray through Belgian parks last year, but remained optimistic that this was the ‘better half’ of what they had to offer that we were tackling today.
Day 2 – Bellewaerde
Arrived for opening and immediately had to change tactics after being sent round to a different car park entrance than expected. Stood half-sheltered by the gates amongst 500 smokers while it lashed with rain and the lion mascot teased us all. Headed straight for Huracan as it was closest and had a billed opening time of 10:00.
#1 Huracan
Queue opened at 10:15 and we ended up on the second train of the day. This Zierer family coaster was surprisingly good with its impressive and foreboding dark ride section and immediately brought about joking statements such as ‘better than Parc Astérix.’ The coaster section was more substantial than expected. I do appreciate an indoor layout that gives you a little something to think about.
Checked out the Boomerang and found that didn’t open til 10:30. The other cred? Checked out the other cred and found that there was a huge queue and they were only filling 4 out of the 500 rows on the train. #2 Boomerang it is. The queue opened on time and we ended up on the first train of the day. Endured that successfully and went back over to the other cred to see they were now using 5 rows instead of 4. Skip.
Headed over to the new alpine coasters instead, now rather worried that the queue would be heaving. The blue side seemed to be broken as we started the substantial climb to the station but by the time we reached the top it was running. Throughput was expectedly poor, but it hadn’t drawn the crowds yet so queued about 20 minutes a side.
#3 & #4 Dawson Duel (Green & Blue)
Didn’t find it particularly well executed. Though the name may imply, there is no real duelling as 1) they weren’t attempting to dispatch both sides at the same time and 2) you have no control over how fast you go. As an alpine coaster it was a weak layout, being short and just corners. Oh well. +2.
#5Keverbaan the Zierer Tivoli was at last having all of the train filled, but the queue was still massive and being hindered by constant groups of unknown origin getting batched up the exit and taking any part of the train they felt like. Sucked up the 40 minute wait for completion, grabbed some lunch for the car and hit the road.
Plopsaland De Pain
It seemed we were doing well on time, but it didn’t take long for the combination of Belgium and Plopsa to strike us hard and evidently leaving us with no time for any pictures.
Took the long way round to Anubis first to find an empty train stuck on the block outside the station. “Well that’s broken.”
Began the ticking off task instead and rode the Zierer Tivoli, #6 Viktor’s Race. 2 of these back to back, such joy.
Then #7 Rollerskater the Vekoma junior. More joy.
#8 Anubis: The Ride was fixed by now, so entered the nice looking building. Didn’t like the fact they ran out of pictures to put on the wall halfway through the queue and started recycling the same ones. Better themed than the Anubis drop tower queue at least. The ride wasn’t bad. Better than a Eurofighter any day, but a shame it wasn’t as smooth as its brother Lynet. A bit rough going into the top hat element after the launch, but otherwise fine for a Gerstlauer that can never truly perform with shoulder restraints.
#9 Supersplash seemed to draw a weird crowd and operations were painful to watch as the wrong number of people were constantly piling into each row and the staff were at a loss as to what to do. Apart from the novelty elevator lift, this water coaster was terrible. No payoff, then drifting around in hideous looking water for far too long and sitting outside the station for 5 minutes while people continued to mess things up.
Time to improve the day with some GCI goodness…
Speiti the Ride was down, a small crowd gathered outside the entrance. Within a few minutes a security man appeared to give the all clear to the staff member at the entrance and led us through as far as the stairs. Upon reaching the stairs, something changed their minds and we were asked to all leave again. We camped out the ride entrance for the next 2 hours in the hope we could get some good laps in once it reopened and it was quite amusing and confusing to watch. The security presence followed by staff with a first aid kit implied something had happened to a guest and the ride itself was fine. However these particular staff walked off into the sunset shortly afterwards and the ride remained closed. Some time later an engineer turned up, went into the ride area below the lift, went in the shed, came out shortly after and walked off into the sunset. The ride was slowly bleeding staff with no-one coming to replace them and eventually an over-confident management type came to the entrance and started telling people “technical problems” and gesturing at his watch as if to imply “look at the time, it ain’t worth reopening now.”
Well that’s unfortunate, let’s ride the powered coaster #10 Draak then. They’ve somehow managed to break one of the cars on this to the extent that the occupants have to get out of the vehicle and mess about with the restraints themselves under the instructions of the staff before it can run properly. Of course with the way the current clientele were behaving and mostly useless staff, this is a complete nightmare to behold. Got there in the end.
That was pretty much day over now, with a bit of safety net and a chunnel train to head back to. Depressingly wandered over to the exit to buy a parking ticket. One machine was broken, the other had just eaten someone’s credit card while they stood there thinking ‘Plopsa, man…’ Followed them into guest services where they were told to wait by the machine thinking ‘Plopsa, man…’ The remainder of the parking ticket queue was then left to stand at the desk waiting while the single member of staff decided creating and printing annual passes was a priority. 10 minutes of leaning further and further over the desk occurred, money in hand, before the staff member starts chatting on the phone…
Walked into the car park and saw that Speiti was bloody running… “Should we?” “RUN!” Blagged our way back into the park with a combination of brandishing the parking ticket like madmen and making gestures about ‘the wooden one.’ Narrowly avoided a Samba (told you it would come back) in the form of a parade that decided to get in our way. Did a literal Indiana Jones through a restaurant that was closing its shutters. Got a stitch. Got into the queue. 20 minutes of chunnel anxiety queue passed relatively quickly and we got our single lap on #11 Heidi The Ride.
It’s a decent little woodie filled with plenty of moments of moderate airtime, with a fairly straightforward out and back layout, so not too many surprise corners. About on par with my expectations, which for GCI are quite high. Best coaster in Belgium (that wasn’t hard was it?)
Should have stayed for more. We got to the channel tunnel check in two minutes late and were therefore reassigned to another train three hours later. Ended the trip with a glamorous Burger King surrounded by ‘those English-French holiday makers.’ Nice.
There’s a few parks in Europe we always considered going to for what seemed like forever. Parc Astérix is actually pretty close to home, if your home happens to be in the south of England so it seemed silly to have been to all these far flung places without trying a couple more ‘local’ parks with supposedly very decent lineups.
And with this thought, the summer channel tunnel tradition was born. Had enough of that flying faff.
Day 1 – Parc Saint Paul
This little gem of a park was on the way down to the main event. Thanks to the Sat Nav, we ended up unnecessarily in the overflow car par. A few other cars had done the same and were beginning to figure things out, but we’d made our bed and sucked up the longer walk. The quirkiness of this place begins at the gate, where the 8ft tall security guards are checking guests bags. That night I was haunted by dreams of being too tall for creds.
Started off with #1 Pomme, one for Merlin – world’s first Wacky Worm with fog machine. Spectacular theming on this ride, wish a few other parks would put a little effort into disguising their inferior hardware like this. Plohn.
Are Pax rides consistently crazy? Yes they are.
#2 Wild Train
Being a shared lap bar on Wild Train, I made the statement “I’ve got some clearance here” as we crested the lift in the back seat. Some entertainingly substantial ejection followed moments later. They underestimate themselves by having seatbelts in the back row but not the front. It’s an equally wild ride at both ends and a lot of fun, perfectly blurring the line between poorly built and deservedly intense.
Got a +1 on a spinning wild mouse, #3 Une Souris Verte.
I couldnt quite work out what I was looking at from the car park in terms of the track for the other Pax in the park. The only thing I knew going into this ride was that it had crashed in the past.
#4 Formule 1
Impatiently pacing tigers in a small cage next to the ride seemed quite fitting for the daredevil attitude of this hardware. It was a unique experience, but being a bit like a wild mouse in pacing, perhaps not as good as their other one in the park.
Got a +1 on #5 Mini Mouse Cartoon (not Tuff Tuff To-get) while discussing the many ways in which swinging from a pole on a piece of playground equipment, breaking a leg and being carried off is not a cred, though some consider it to be. (Yes, we saw that happen).
I assume Vekoma were trying to counteract the Paxness of this park when they did the design for #6 Aérotrain. Their junior coasters are far from the best of rides anyway, but something was seriously off with the uneventful layout of this one.
Loved this park, sits well inside the realms of friendly, quirky, interesting and not at all busy so you can really get the most out of half a day there.
Parc Astérix
In a change to the original billing, we decided to utilise both some extra long opening hours and their one-shot fastrack system to make sure this place didn’t screw us over. Turns out we didn’t need those hours at all…
As promised, guns at the entrance to the park and much confusion as to where to pick up the fastrack from.
Somehow ended up at Vol Don’t care first.
#7 Vol D’Icare
Highlight: Didn’t break down on us. Did later. Lowlight: Almost broke down on us. Block brakes took it to about 1Mph.
Keen to test my French, the info man nearby obliged with the French words “Zeus, Left and Photo” which I worked out to be Zeus, Left and Photo.
Picked up fastrack where Zeus left his photos and immediately went to see what #8 Tonnere de Zeus had to offer. I think my bag had a better time of it than I did, as it was forced onto the ride with me. The experience was all a bit underwhelming in the moment, but it’s slowly improving in my mind the more I think about it since. It’s got length, I’ll give it that. Highlight: A couple of corners I like to call the thigh wobblers. Lowlight: A couple of corners I like to call why do these exist.
#9 Goudurix
The notorious Vekoma looper is back on 2 trains thankfully. Really don’t see the issue with this thing, seems I laugh in the face of these rides people call awful. Just strap yourself in and feel the Gs. Highlight: Shouting about how alright the ride was as it hit a wonky corner and my bag goes flying across the floor of the car. Lowlight: So much unjustified hate.
#10Pégase Express is a good little ride with a fair amount of entertainment going on. You get quite a substantial journey out of it over the course of its many sections and it was a pleasant surprise not knowing much about this Gerstlauer family launch coaster. Highlight: Some train duelling going on with forwards and backwards cycles running at the same time. Lowlight: The bag policy started to bother me here. They’ve had some automatic dispensers installed in the station but don’t bother to use them. I’m now expecting to ride a B&M Invert with a bag wrapped round my foot…
Which may have made Ozlris more interesting.
#11 Ozlris
This thing didn’t deliver for me at all. To start with, it didn’t really impress me visually. Started in what should have been the best place – the outside seat at the back, on which the first drop gave me one swift baffes – French for punch to the head (so that’s more than Goudurix) and then it had a severely uncharacteristic rattle to it and did absolutely nothing interesting. It had weird tracking moments after the loop and after one of the many corners over mud (so that’s more than Goudurix). We both left the station and stood outside for a while thinking, not wanting to breach the subject to each other – “did this ride just kill B&M?” Gave it another chance later on an inside seat and it didn’t ride quite as crap or as boring. Half decent at best. Not what I wanted to be saying though. Highlight: Queue was quite good? Lowlight: I won’t say any more.
#12 SOS Numérobis (SOS El Nombre to me) Highlight: +1 Lowlight: I dunno, some jab at Ozlris being in the vicinity.
Rounded off the coasters in the park with #13 Trace Du Hourra (a Trail of Hurray). Good name for a cred run, we actually broke a new record for ourselves with most creds in a day here. One of the weaker Mack bobsleds. Didn’t get the theme. Highlight: Super efficient ride operations, haven’t praised them enough yet. Lowlight: Bag saga continues with the restraint trying to snap my phone in half upon exiting the ride.
Used the fastrack on Menhir Express the log flume for a laugh. It was my kind of messed up, with the weird rapid-like sections halfway down a tube sending waves over the side of the boat and then the surprise drop feature. A little too much French sweat in my mouth though.
Did the Madhouse, Le Défi de César at some point in all that and it was brilliant. Bit of a slow burner at the start of the preshows, but the fountain room was really great and I loved finally seeing a different take on the technology for the actual ride. It was very refreshing to see the screens on the wall and the swinging of the seats used to emulate the movement of a boat as opposed to a million other ‘it’s a room with some spooky stuff going on’ versions.
Narrowly avoided becoming part of a Samba (not the last time i’ll be saying that on this trip) in the form of a parade that was coming towards us and took shelter in a pizza restaurant to eat pizza and contemplate the park…
It’s alright I guess.
There’s a much better atmosphere than I was expecting and the operations are impressively quick. I suppose I just didn’t expect it be a one and done park. Since I knew of its existence, I’ve pictured it as quite a significant park on the theming and ride front, but there’s nothing at all now that makes me specifically want to come back for another visit. I had more fun on the mad house and the log flume than any of the coasters, and that doesn’t sit right somehow.
Best ride might have been Zeus as we wanted to give it another chance, but the queue was an hour long and trailing well out of the entrance before and after pizza, then it broke down. Couldn’t be bothered in the end and left the park early for some well needed rest.
I’ve subconsciously left this park as the last place of significance in Germany, mainly due to low expectations. Since they went and got Helix trains (and a new ride to go with them), I couldn’t hold off any longer.
The day started strong with nearly getting waved into an empty field which had nothing to do with the park, then getting waved into more overflow car parks and finally a strong smell of excrement emanating from the view of an SLC and the ‘worst wooden rollercoaster in the world’.
Day 2 – Movie Park Germany
A 10 minute walk around the perimeter, stuck behind smokers, was made slightly better by the skyline being punctuated by some glamorous Mack track. Some rare perfect timing allowed us to be amongst the first in the park and some forward planning meant we knew exactly where to head to be amongst the first on the new attraction.
#1 Star Trek: Operation Enterprise
Even the first time round, I found the preshow sections to be a little tedious. The first set of screens were just being blocked by other uninterested guests as some bloke I hadn’t heard of was talking. The beam me up section didn’t really have as good of an impact as it should have. The bridge however was very impressive to someone who knew what it was supposed to look like and the use of the screen there seemed most relevant, if you weren’t all restricted to queuing in a small portion of the room and, again, couldn’t see it past other guests.
The free for all seating choice was a welcome feature in the station. The one train operation was not. Started off in the front and felt right at home in those amazing seats. I liked the ride itself a lot. Combined with the triple launch trickery at the start, you get a decent length out of it, particularly in comparison to Gold Rush the previous day and there’s a good mix of sensations going on throughout the layout. The sequence of elements is very unique but flows completely naturally and the inversions in particular just feel so… right.
#2 Van Helsing’s Factory
Swiftly and successfully moved onto the indoor Gerstlauer Bobsled to beat the rush. 15 minutes and we were on, just enough time to appreciate what was in the queue but not long enough for it to become painful. I really enjoyed this one as well. Great interactive theming throughout the layout, which itself is finally different from every other one of these installations in existence. I nearly lost it upon seeing the second lift had tyres, my mind filling with dirty thoughts about a launch happening and then completely missed everything that was going on in that section. Managed to catch up on all the details with another ride later on.
2 for 2 so far Movie Park. Why does no one like you? On to the smaller creds. This area was far from ideal, the Vekoma Junior queue looked grim, tried and failed to suck up the queue for the Wild Mouse which looked OK, then got queue jumped by about 10 people and saw all the cars starting to stack in the station.
We caved and bought a speedy pass from the nearby Nickolodeon shop instead. Yes this pass is good value as it puts you straight onto all 3 creds in the sort of manner that makes you feel a little too superior and you get dirty looks from everyone else. The power of money.
#3 Ghost Chasers, the aforementioned mouse, was made much more interesting than it should be by 2 excitable Asian girls having the time of their lives behind us.
#4 Backyardigans: Mission to Mars, the aforementioned junior was 2 laps of meh, with 500 smoking Germans staring at us from a now doubly grim queueline.
We were even asked which seat we wanted on the Vekoma Suspended Family Coaster, #5 Jimmy Neutron’s Atomic Flyer. The response? “Don’t care, got the cred.”
Went for Mystery River while in the area and got dumped about halfway through the queue in a corridor of about 35°C. It was a fun rapids ride. Didn’t understand what was going on, but a decent amount of theming and water related peril through both indoor and outdoor sections.
Narrowly avoided a samba while leaving the area through a parade and stopped for a bite to eat, already reflecting on how this park is much better than its reputation.
Decided on the Lost Tunnel next, skipping over a gruesome looking 75 minute queue for a very lengthy ride experience. Another attraction that exceeded my expectations here. The ride portion itself wasn’t particularly good for an immersive tunnel as there was little interaction between the dinosaurs on screen and our vehicle as a presence in their world, or even between the 2 sides left and right, but the pre-shows and build up to the ride were very impressive. It’s a shame the dinosaur in the exit path is for optional viewing only. After the comment from the temple bloke about “some of them may have escaped”, I wanted an animatronic to jump out of the waterfall and the bridge to collapse from under us as we left the ride room. Too far?
With a bit of luck Star Trek was down to 15 minutes, assumingly because they had just added the second train at long last. Suffered the preshows again and grabbed our second go in the back. I enjoyed spotting a couple of extra details this time, such as the screen in the room with the transfer track reading ‘uploading evasive manoeuvres’, but one thing that really doesn’t help the whole experience is that it creates far too much build up when the ride itself is almost completely unthemed and there is seemingly no conclusion to the story. I felt they could have at least housed the brake run and had a quick video saying ‘well done lads, you saved the crew/you’re now Locutus of Borg.’ The spectacle all feels a little unnecessary to the hardware itself as it currently stands.
Time to see what’s the worst they can throw at us. #6 MP-Express the SLC is great before you even get on it. The industrial estate themed fastrack queue of unpaved stones and dirt through rusty fence towards a service road followed by old metal stairs into the side of an ageing warehouse is hilarious. The ride itself was again just comedy, no nasty roughness at all, just a weird forward and back sort of pumping action through some of the inversions which caused many surrounding screams of agony, while I can’t stop laughing at it all.
It feels like there’s nothing steel can do to me these days, but I have developed a slight fear of bad woodies after Grand National tried to take my hobby away from me. So it was with significant trepidation that we boarded #7 Bandit. The lift was over surprisingly quickly and then “Oh no, oh no……. Nope it’s fine.” We recalled the statement “worst wooden rollercoaster in the world” to each other as it took the first uneventful corner and then spent the rest of the ride in a laughing fit. Nothing wrong with it at all, actually quite enjoyed it.
Over to Time Bandits, where we got spited by a show time. (Yes, wrong name, but the dark ride names all seemed so generic to me they’d just blend into one, or something else, whenever I said them at the time).
Took our re-ride on Van Helsing to fix that. Amazed myself with how much I missed on the second lift, like the car bonnets jumping about, the big scary wolf/bear thing coming out at you from amongst the cars and then the screen of the flying demon thing carrying you up high and dropping you as you take the drop. Brutal laterals are a signature of this ride type and when it’s that dark in the back seat, you can’t even see it coming. Great stuff.
Over to Time Riders, straight in. Another impressive set of theming and preshows. The actor was really into it for the first section, and then the second section looked so good we were joking to ourselves about whether there is a ride at all? Or is this the final act. It could have been. Very glad there was a ride, as the simulator is viciously fun. Multiple moments of it just feeling like a car crash as you hit something on screen and get properly chucked about in your seat. I found myself willing it to hit more things as it went on.
Grabbed an ice cream before the last ride on our list, Bermuda Triangle. More expectations exceeded, having only seen the outside drop with an angle of about 10 degrees into nothing but station. There’s a huge surprise drop in the dark at the start that felt like it went on forever, followed by some weird old theming in the underground section and a cool projection effect. Soon after, you’re running away backwards from collapsing scenery, a little disappointed it wasn’t a drop. Finally the anticlimactic finish we all knew was coming. The boat also tried to kill us by nearly tipping over as we left.
Overal Movie Park Germany provided a good day out. It probably needed Star Trek to finally make it particularly significant, but the combination of multiple decent dark rides and at least a couple of above average coasters gave me a lasting positive impression.
Satisfied with what we had achieved in the park, it was time to assess our cred options for the journey back to the airport. A bit of research while tearing up some German roads brought us to the conclusion that it was “BillyBird or bust.” Sat nav would have us there for 5 minutes before last admission and we needed a fuel stop somewhere. This may be the time to mention it was by far the slowest hire car I’ve had in Germany, being a hybrid Yaris, but that wasn’t going to stop me. Eco mode off, stick it in ‘B’, draining all the juice from the unsatisfyingly linear engine and embarrassing endless better cars on the autobahn, the run was put back into cred run.
BillyBird
Easily made it in time and what a nice place to stick a coaster. Just somewhere for the Dutch to chill out with very friendly staff, a lake, some chairs, an artificial beach, lots of stuff for kids to play on and most importantly, a cred.
#8 Familieachtbaan
Scaled the stairs to the top and jumped on. The ride is good fun for its size, with a fairly exposed feeling in the bathtub shaped cars and at least a noticeable amount of force involved. Job done.
Took advantage of some of the chilling out ourselves while we were there as there would no doubt be a couple of hours delay on an evening Easyjet flight out of mainland Europe.
Landed in Amsterdam early on a Saturday with Mega-Lite and happened across a big stand in the supermarket with 10 euro off vouchers for Walibi Holland. Not this time lads, we’re going slightly further afield with this hire car.
Day 1 – Slagharen
We had managed to grab a great deal for this park online, with some limited half price promo tickets. This ensured that it didn’t sting at all for a whole 2 creds and 1 hour spent there. Went straight to the new Gestlauer Infinity coaster and had a couple of rides on it, only about 15 minutes queue each time. For the time of year and ‘Netherlands 2nd most visited theme park’ it wasn’t crowded at all. I guess the figures are down to the resort as a whole and not just the amusement area.
#1 Gold Rush
Gold Rush is a great little ride for its size, using a triple launch system to get more out of a small footprint. The back row seemed best for a particularly crazy moment of hanging upside-down after the reverse launch and then being forcefully dragged into the surprisingly steep drop of the top hat.
It’s also rather attractive to look at.
Grabbed a panini from the plentiful shops along the walk to the Vekoma Junior #2 Mine Train, expecting a bit of a queue and planning to eat it there. Again the queue was really short, but had time to wolf the food down while watching some pitiful argument about the height of some child that went on far too long. +1.
And that’s the park really. Nicer atmosphere than I expected and Gold Rush makes the park completely worth a visit. It’s a shame with so few creds they had to remove something else to bring in the new addition, would be great if they could expand somehow.
Soon found myself back on the autobahn for the 6th time in 2 years, heading down to Phantasialand for their final 50th Anniversary event day with midnight close. We had hyped this up rather a lot in our heads, dreams of ‘midnight Taron’ being at the forefront of the motivation to get this trip rolling in the first place. Unfortunately the park fell a little short of expectations again, although it has many of the ingredients required to be amazing, I’ve always found it a struggle to have the best of times here.
Phantasialand
Got directed to an overflow car park opposite the Ling Bao entrance where a man was aggressively shouting instructions to cars in an attempt to maximise efficiency in space. This seemed to be an afterthought as the first half of the car park was already filled in completely the opposite manner to his mission. This didn’t seem to bode well for how busy it was going to be, but efficient German operations right?
Wasn’t allowed in entrance 2 for some reason, so took the long hike round to the main entrance. Had a quick scout of queue times which went as follows: Maus au Chocolat = 75 minutes – “nah mate.” Black Mamba = 75 minutes – “nah mate.”
Feng Ju Palace was down on our last visit so walked onto that first. The projection preshow was an interesting change to the many other Vekoma Madhouses around. It was amusing to start with as the robot thing kept bring out bigger and bigger weapons to fight with, but got a little repetitive when the bloke started shooting fireballs at us causing an animatronic to jiggle slightly 4 times in a row. Then the ride sequence came and not much happened except a projection on the floor near the end. Bit confused by the story on this one. Did he save the Asian girl or not?
River Quest was also down last visit so went for that next. Phantasialand complete. I donned my trusty Valhalla poncho and eagerly anticipated what my favourite Hafema boys would throw at me this time. The queue had a good build up, with a couple of spots in which boats were kicking up some nasty waves right into our path.
Loved the dual elevator lift that has to merge into a single funnel, causing you to crash viciously into a wall mid drop. There’s a bit of calm before the storm while drifting round to the whirlpool, where the boat suddenly isn’t even on water anymore and just starts spinning wildly, picking up speed, culminating in a catastrophic splash. One bloke in the boat stands up at this stage and starts grumbling about his phone being wet and trying to adjust his pocket to which both ourselves and some locals have to shout “sit down man, vertical drop any second!” Final drop wasn’t quite as mental as I had imagined, but still way beyond your average rapids ride. Great stuff.
After a bit of water maintenance, the moment of revisiting Taron had finally arrived. We entered Klugheim and paused for a second, waiting for the amazing characteristic 2nd launch sound. Moments later it hit and stupid grins were instantly brought to our faces. Queue time = 100 minutes. “Well that sucks.” Ride close time = 21:30. “Wait, what?” Dreams of ‘midnight Taron’ shattered. 105 minutes of second hand smoke and disappointment later, nabbed the front row.
Taron
The ride is exactly as good as I remembered it to be. A fun little sit down for the most part, weaving your way through rocks, track, buildings, everything, for what feels like a wonderful length of time. The second launch is probably still my favourite single moment of any ride. I love getting that feeling of ‘there’s more to come’ out of a ride, it’s a rare treat on coasters due to their inherent nature of losing momentum over time and Taron’s version of this is particularly vicious and spectacular. More marvellous mincing around follows the launch, TRIM BRAKE and you’re done. I simply don’t get the fact people consider it an intense ride. I could ride it all day like a rag doll, non-stop, with zero physical consequences. That’s not a negative at all, just, they’re wrong.
Grabbed some tasty Taron bread from the Balder shop outside and headed round again. Queue time = 115 minutes. “This isn’t going at all well.” We wouldn’t even get inside the entrance within the first 20 minutes and the 21:30 cut off time was dangerously approaching.
From a glance as we approached the station previously, there were only about 8 people in the single rider queue outside the station building. People were now powering into single rider, climbing over ropes on their way. Should we play it tactically and join them before it’s too late? I guess we’ll have to. 120 minutes of standing on a vibrating bridge followed, gradually getting Raynaud Syndrome. Sadly Mega-Lite didn’t stand the test of time and had to bail for the bathroom at this stage. There was zero chance of them letting him back in the queue and the staff even pursued him into the toilets to shout at him and try and kick him out of Klugheim. Meanwhile I was next to someone who was having an actual panic attack because of how awful the queue was and then the ride had a panic attack of its own. 1000 smoking Germans all start shouting and jeering at this announcement, you couldn’t make this stuff up.
Another half hour later they got the ride up and running again. I assume a significant portion of the main queue must have bailed in disgust through the door in the cattle pen section at the announcement because it dried up 2 trains before the SRQ did. We were all brought into the station at last. I get batched into the 2nd row for the last train of the day. Looking to my left, the front row will be empty for this last train. I take the chance and attempt to head round, but one of the staff members runs over to me and screams “NO!” in my face. 2nd row it is. So I got my ‘almost midnight Taron’, in the rain too. It was fanastic. This is also now the longest I have queued for any ride ever. Wouldn’t really expect that to have happened in Germany, but there you go.
After a confused phone call through the narrow and packed walkways of the park, caught up with Mega-Lite who had been wandering aimlessly around closed rides and getting shouted at by more staff. We lucked upon walking straight on to the last train of Black Mamba, back row. Well this was certainly memorable. The staff were cheering and thrusting as we left the station. The riders were chanting and singing, getting super rowdy and excited. Dreams restored.
The ride was running like a beast at this time of night and the firework display had just begun. Every inversion was filled with ‘OH MY GOD UPSIDE DOWN FIREWORKS’ and then disappearing back into the pitch black with an intense B&M invert swoop. The train pulled back to the station. Everyone stayed seated exactly where they were. “Again?” Well, alright then. More cheering, more thrusting, more chanting, more singing. MORE UPSIDE DOWN FIREWORKS, AHHHHHHHHHH! Why did Taron have such a terrible atmosphere?
We got caught up in the masses of the Berlin area as the fireworks were coming to a close, to the (disco edition) tune of Chiapas, the park’s log flume. Unfortunately we were the only people in the park to chant “CHIAPAS!” along with it. I thought it was more popular than that.
Then we got stuck in the car park for an hour queueing to leave, music on full volume, cutting up a million people and getting cut up by a million more. Got to the hotel, parked in a hedge. Died.
To cheer things up on our final part, I think it’s worth mentioning that something was off about the hotel here. Firstly, the staff had numbers rather than names. Secondly, this:
I was tempted to do some drugs after the last few days, but this sign was on the bed and proved effective enough in dissuading me.
Phoned Happy Valley at opening time to see if they’d fixed Fireball. They hadn’t. “I’m not ruling it out but… if you’re coming just to play that… don’t.”
Headed off into the city instead with no real plans.
Stumbled across some bonus culture while changing lines.
Stumbled across some tower blocks. I’m counting that as culture too.
Day 11 – Century Park
Got lost trying to find this place. Exit 4 or 6, not exit 5. Thanks RCDB.
#1 Roller Coaster
This baby is new this year. The whole ‘amusement area’ seemed to have had a bit of a refurb and there’s some coming soon signs above the ticket office. Hope they get a Powered Dragon to compliment the lineup. Or a Jungle Mouse. I can’t believe I still haven’t got a Jungle Mouse.
Some foreign business-type people joined us for a lap. They seemed somewhat embarassed standing there ticket in hand and it took us, powering up like professionals, for them to make that leap. They clearly didn’t understand the concept of creds as they lead with the question: “Have you ridden this before?” “No mate, +1.” Good to end on a high.
From there it was back on the disappointing Maglev to the airport.
This report may have seemed a bit doom and gloom at times, but I do love doing trips here. There’s so much good stuff that far outweighs the atrocities. They also make for great stories. I fully disregard the many hours of sufferance to get around, because as soon as I set foot in the entrance to the queue for that next big woodie or launchie there’s an unrivalled buzz of excitement. I can’t stop myself from running, skipping, staggering along internally screaming ‘Yes! I’ve actually made it!’ It’s the sense of adventure I guess. The payoff seems higher. I’m sure it’ll break me one day.
You can find a full map and summary of all the China trips on a single visa here.
The worst was over and it was back to being stupidly hot for the last leg of the journey in Shanghai. I don’t envy the person in the knock off Mickey Mouse suit who camps out the bridge to the shuttle buses. Not sure if the begging for a drink was meant to be a joke or not. Day 10 – Happy Valley Shanghai
After a couple of days of cred drought, powered straight to the woodie with a fair amount of desperation. Closed for maintenance.
Alright, I’ll settle for the dive. Closed for maintenance.
Now sweating profusely, how about some Megalite action? Sign said open. Queue was open. 10 people in the queue. 10 minutes of hanging around. “Nah, the ride’s broken, go try the mine train.” Some locals began an argument with the staff about how useless the park was being at this point, which was very compelling and completely threw me. I thought they were unable to comprehend incompetence in parks out here. Stayed to watch until they all stormed out.
3 small creds were all lined up in the one section. All running. At last, some measure of success.
#1 Coastal Ant
Operator here reckoned we shouldn’t bother with this as it was a kids ride. a) Don’t care, got the cred b) Only thing open mate.
#2 Crazy Elves was yet another spinner for the trip. No change there.
#3 Family Inverted Coaster
I was disappointed to find out this was basically asking B&M to build the standard Vekoma layout, so not particularly unique. Took about half an hour to get a lap, with 1 train going ahead of us. Staff were visibly just sitting around on their arses killing time with the train already full, locked and ready to dispatch. It rode as good as the normal ones do in prime condition. Interesting to see the official nameplate gives the ride a ‘lifespan’ of 15 years.
Went to ride the mine train, as recommended by the staff earlier. Closed for maintenance.
Jumped on the Flying Island for some views of rides not running.
No spiting… if only it were true.
Spiting.
Spiting.
The dive coaster started testing while up here. There’s still hope.
Seem to be coming across a lot of these spinners that don’t spin recently.
I’d rather that sky was punctuated by an S&S right now.
But oh, they fixed it.
#4 Mega-Lite
Either this trip has broken me or they’ve broken their Megalite. Not sure what was going on, but strangely it left me a bit dry. Gave it a couple of goes to make sure. Should have been viciously intense, just wasn’t up to the usual standard.
#5 Diving Coaster
The testing came to fruition. Sat in the comfy seat for ages with a blissful breeze waiting for customers to show up.
It is what it is. Good solid fun. Huge floaty drop and some other trundlings to go with it. Trimmed a little too hard on the block brake for my liking so there was no whip into the second drop. Enjoyed it more than the Megalite on this particular day though.
Soaring Dragon was a poor flying simulator, particularly after Wuhan. No nice staff or seating area, just baking outside a warehouse with no indication of whether it was running or not. It was running, but only the back left pod instead of the middle, giving a crap view. Fire exit signs are also clearly visible through the screen. Eh.
Did the Storm Tour tracked dark ride. The excessive amount of spinning away from each scene was fun, but it was very short and underwhelming in general. A bit like my time in this park.
I had never really had issues with Happy Valley until now. This was easily the worst in terms of staff and how it was run and even the locals know it. I didn’t get to ride the main reason I came here (Gravity woodie) and the remainder of the lineup, while impressive on paper, is all just clones and a bit par for the course to me.
The weather had spited me one more time as after some interrogation at guest services, the woodie was closed because the “rain had damaged the track.” You can’t be serious. Apparently they were working on it (they weren’t) and there was a chance it would reopen the next day (it wouldn’t).
Headed off in to the city to make up for this loss.
People’s Park
#6 Gliding Dragon
Oh yes, slap the money on the counter and see the local crowds gather for a spectacle. 3 laps of poorly tracked comedy.
China’s big boy train stations are vast, usually with a couple of entrance plazas at each end and consisting of multiple separate floors for arrivals and departures. Nanjing station does have lockers. In their infinite impracticality, they are located in the departure area. So on arrival this means re-entering the station through security passport and bag checks with a valid ticket for onward travel just to get to some storage.
Good thing we do have a valid ticket for onward travel then. Took another train to Wuhu from there, for some more Fantawild fun. Then it all went horribly wrong.
The weather had been grey, but fine all morning. As soon as we got on the bus, it started raining. Game over before the day had even begun. This bus actually drops you off inside the resort, there’s a novelty. Wandered into guest services to get the lowdown. It is now 09:00, park opening time. It’s a weekend and they’re open until 18:00. They have already ruled out any possibilty of anything outdoors opening for the day, even if it stopped raining in half an hour and went back to 35°C of burning sunlight. Well at least you’re honest, unlike Nagashima Spite Land.
I know the neighbouring Dreamland park had a few dark rides that were still new to me as well as some shows that looked interesting, so considered the possibility of just doing that instead. After more conversation, turns out the Bubble Ballet was closed for renovation and the big show ‘Ashley’ was cancelled for lack of attendance. I shall bid you good day then.
I’m still pondering that chicken and egg scenario. No one turned up to these parks, absolutely no one. We got comical stares from a couple of staff that were hanging around outside that basically said ‘why the hell did you come here?’ Business just doesn’t happen, so they cut their losses. So did they learn that people don’t bother first? Or did everyone get screwed over by visiting one day and then tell everyone else in the continent ‘never again’. It seems too new of an industry here to be so clear cut. Locals must also have a sixth sense for weather. I’d been checking weather all week and found it wasnt very reliable information. Wuhan and Hefei were meant to be wrecked by thunderstorms all day on the days I was there but that turned out fine.
Back to Nanjing for more bag faff and malls. Oh well, one more day in the area to give it another shot.
Day 9
Woke up the next morning and it was still a bit miserable outside. Original plan for this day was to dust off some minor Nanjing creds in the morning and then head to Suzhou in the afternoon. Of course another reasonable chance at the Wuhu woodie had taken priority over this. Decided not to bust a gut with earliness or waste time with trains again so just made some phone calls at the point of opening.
Each of these cities are at least 100 miles away from each other, so this is how widespread the bit of rain that ruins daily life was. “Hi Fantawild, what’s the score today?” “No chance for the woodie.”
“Hi Nanjing mall park with the half indoor Vekoma motorbike, what’s the score today?” “Whole park is closed for renovation.”
“Hi Suzhou giant wheel park, what’s the score today?” “Unlikely, phone back at midday and we’ll know for sure.” Hung around until the Suzhou train. Got to Suzhou.
Phoned again. Whole place closed today. Tried and failed to appreciate the local scenery. And that was that. Frustrating.
The only event of interest arriving in Hefei was in transferring from the high speed train to the metro, where the security insisted that I demonstrating drinking one of the beverages we had just purchased from a station shop, to prove that I didn’t explode or get poisoned(?). It was a slightly surreal experience being watched like this, so I turned it into a drinks commercial by sighing “ahhhh…” with a wry smile and a thumbs up.
Mr Wanda managed to steal the show on my previous trip, so I was excited to give the next one a try. It just so happened to be the one year anniversary of the opening of this park, which meant dirt cheap entrance tickets. Like, £10 each cheap. This also made it pretty busy coupled with the fact it was back to being a weekend, but the place copes well, comparatively.
Day 7 – Hefei Wanda Theme Park
Had a great lack of caring from staff upon entering. Had our bag searched, got told outside food wasn’t allowed, then shrugged and got on with our day anyway.
The whole day was filled with a bit of cred anxiety as it was constantly threatening to rain and the staff were continuously announcing on rides that if it did, it was game over. Bit of a chicken and the egg scenario in this part of the world. Which came first? The cultural mentality being like RCT in that they don’t believe they should ride things in the rain? Or the parks convincing themselves that it is unsafe to run things with a wet track?
Due to this threat, things were done in a relative order of significance. First powered round to the headline attraction, an Intamin launch coaster. 30 minute queue. 2 trains. Good man.
#1 Soaring with Dragon
There’s a great atmosphere of tension and fear in the queue. The path dips in and out of buildings adjacent to the first parts of the layout and then the final outdoor cattle pen puts you in close proximity to the launch track. Here, the iconic Taron noise causes many a squeal of anxiety amongst the guests and the trains are being pumped out at an unprecedented rate for China.
The ride itself? What I’ve come to expect from Intamin recently. Some really, really good stuff in there, but couldn’t pull off the complete package.
Love the trains. Taron trains with a happy dragon on the front. Can’t go wrong with that. Love the launch. Taron launch with a happy dragon on the front. Can’t go wrong with that.
Love the non-inverting loop. Wonderfully floaty and you get a really strong sense of the height at which you’re doing the element.
Same praise for whatever the inversion is. Good air time hill. And now we’re turning… and we’re… turning some more. Is that another air t… oh it’s the brakes.
I’m probably being a little over critical, particularly due to the nature of this trip, but for its size, it doesn’t feel any more significant of a layout than something like Star Trek. I just wish it did a little more in the second half other than uneventful corners. It feels like they’re chucked in for the visual effect around the amazing dragon statue rather than to serve the ride experience.
Still well up there in the grand scheme of things, just found myself wanting to love it more than I actually did.
Over to those duelling tilting things.
#2 Battle of Jungle King (Dragon)
More visually impressive stuff, though not sure why all the major coasters here are yellow. Unfortunately only 1 train per side, but queue again was about 30 minutes a pop. Got the dragon side first, next to some Chinese bloke getting overly excited about his chest mounted go-pro and the fact we were front row. I feigned a bit of enthusiasm in return. Wasn’t particularly looking forward to it myself. The ridiculously elaborate seatbelt system is actually a full on chest harness underneath the restraint. Do we not trust Golden Horse yet? Bloke is told to get rid of the go-pro of course. Off we go.
Approaching the end of the tilt track is quite cool and unnatural. The actual tilt itself didn’t really feel as interesting/scary as I expected. It didn’t trigger any additional fear beyond ‘is this going to ride terribly?’
I like that they suspend both trains together to build the suspense while a staff member in the station looks up at you and counts you down with a microphone, sometimes using the classic trick of releasing it on the wrong number. (At least they have a good sense of fun. That or the ride system is faulty). Drop onwards it wasn’t particularly pleasant. Back to standard survival mode with a couple of dodgy bits of tracking. You can’t tell which train wins at the end unfortunately.
The laws of the hobby now dictate I must put up with the other side. Queued the same amount again. Asked the batching man for the tiger side. He lied to me and put me on the dragon side again. Took things into my own hands and went over to the tiger side anyway. It caused a little confusion as they only like to have one trains worth of people anywhere near the station and I was having to wait for the next train to fit on, but I stood my ground and it worked.
#3 Battle of Jungle King (Tiger)
Foolishly went for the back, the other side having been manageable and thinking it would enhance the tilt or something. Tiger side just enhances the roughness of the ride. I’m seemingly immune to the ‘worst steel coasters in the world’, but one of the more dodgy bits of tracking here delivered two successive punches to my head that were much, much more severe than I have ever experienced on a ride before. Everyone got off with visibly red ears. This helped me to laugh it off and I was fine again after 5 minutes.
Grabbed the Wacky Worm in the vicinity, rain still threatening to end the day. Love the face on this one.
#4 Worm Coaster
Wacky and proud.
Had another go on the dragon on the way past as I could lose the chance for re-rides at any second.
Then completed the set by grabbing the spinner on the other side of the park.
#5 Crazy Jars
Not crazy enough.
Ferris wheel had an hour queue. Skip.
Stumbled upon Submarine Simulator, a dark ride that I didn’t know existed. It had a bit of a preshow, then as the name suggests a simulator about exploration of some lost relics in a submarine. Not bad, but enjoyed the Korean cartoons on the queueline TVs more. I want to say it’s a sign of Wanda parks stepping up their dark ride game, but there’s always a ‘movie park’ in the mall next to the theme park that makes all the hardware exist in separate entities. Combine the 2, man.
Time for one final ride on the dragon, with it starting to rain mid queue. Again, they impressed me by soldiering on long enough to allow me a go in some quite painful rain. Better than Nagashima Spite Land.
FAILED to avoid a samba for the first time this year and got caught in a mass of people trying and failing to get out of the place due to the rain, just as the parade decided to rock up in the opposite direction. Couldn’t really see much over a million umbrellas, but it contained dragons, fire and attractive women, so good enough.
It was game over with the rides. They were planning to have a fountain/music/firework celebration show at about 20:00 with the possibility of any of those things being forfeited due to weather. I admire the commitment of the locals, who had already begun staking out spots in their masses with well over 3 hours of waiting ahead of them. Decided not to join them, as it was far too long a wait with nothing to do.
