Six Flags America is gone. Or at least it will be at the end of 2025. It was for this reason that we deemed it worthy of a farewell visit. Plus it had a +1. Plus it was free.
After the trip we had been having I had rather been rooting for it to bring a bit of an underdog arc, a fitting closing to its career, a good day out. It wasn’t to be.
Day 13 – Six Flags America
Things started fine after a long drive, some merciful clouds in the sky, minimum crowds and the B&M that was closed for conversion last time we visited was in operation.
Thus we began on #1 Firebird. Front row. Floorless. It was ok.
Fair play to it really, generally these ex-stand-up things kinda suck, but the layout manages to still be mildly interesting and it rides pretty well for the sheer age of it. Once was enough though.
Joker’s Jinx e-stopped itself on the launch, which must have been a pleasant experience for all involved. Don’t care, clone.
Superman – Ride of Steel rode like ass, Darien Lake was infinitely better. Once was enough.
Roar rode like ass, GCI have come a long way, on and off. Once was enough.
Batwing was closed. Best ride here, RIP.
Wild One was closed. Best ride here, RIP.
Ragin Cajun wasn’t closed. Probably see you around.
Not great then, I used to like this place but the ride availability was pretty abysmal on this occasion and it was a little sad to see it out this way ourselves. I’ve seen and heard of other visits that were fine though and I hope they can hold it together for at least a decent final, final day. Better than Cedar Point, but shan’t be missed.
Kings Dominion
Down the road and hoping to steal the footfall is old mate Kings D. Happy 50th.
Feels like we’ve been here a lot, and we have, they’re always cooking up a cred or two in conjunction with our visits.
And this time was no exception, with #2 Rapterra mooching around. The new area felt very Merlin in implementation, there’s an illusion of effort in presentation sprinkled around, but something just feels off about it.
Wasn’t impressed with the ride at all. Shakes quite badly throughout, has no particularly interesting forces to speak of, then ends on the classically uncomfortable roll for extra vest bite into your collarbone on the brakes. Once was enough.
Which meant that the better new cred of the park was the #3 Great Pumpkin Coaster because they let adults on now.
Then it was time for Twisted Timbers to kick our ass repeatedly. I’ve gushed about this one enough before, along with the fact that it’s better than Steel Vengeance. The fact that it was walk on and we weren’t dying from heat stroke also brought the trip full circle and back into my good books with some mid-sized RMC-based destruction.
Rode Grizzly but didn’t take a picture. It’s vastly improved with the retracking work and was actually pretty fun, not least for the station banter about it actually being Shockwave in disguise. Better than Rapterra.
Rode Racer 75 but didn’t take a picture. Happy 50th. Great woodie. Old, smooth, straight, full of airtime and with a bonus bit of racing fun. Felt like they’d added the Yoy-style poorly tuned lift hills that try and catch up with each other but always overshoot, which added to the charm. Better than Rapterra.
305 was closed but I was kinda glad because it’s an ugly colour and has a stupid name now. It will never be the same without being told to start my engines.
Eiffel Tower was closed as it seemingly always has been and always will be.
But they have this and Cedar Point doesn’t. Better than Rapterra.
Overall a great time at a great park and I’ve clearly run out of things to say.
The following morning we hit up another park on the Lake Compounce pass, one that we’ve looked at several times during trips over the years and figured was never quite worth the gate price.
It’s not.
So perfect opportunity.
Or not.
Day 12 – Dutch Wonderland
Security checks kinda block you from a decent entrance shot here, which is a shame.
Things started ok as we walked straight onto #1 Merlin’s Mayhem, S&Seses answer to the Vekoma suspended family coaster. I had hoped better for them, but it has no real reason to exist. Was rather rattly throughout, better off with the originals.
Immediately from here the usual shenanigans resumed. Walked to the other two coasters and found them both closed with no signs of life. I figured as there’s not a huge amount to do here, maybe there was some form of staggered openings going on, but they could have easily said so.
Walked to the Wonder House, a haunted swing thing – madhouses before they were cool, and stood at its entrance for 15 mins or so. It was playing ‘station’ audio announcements and unlike the coasters had no sign to say that it was closed. Turns out it was closed.
So we went to guest services to find out what the deal was, which requires leaving the park and getting a hand stamp, for some reason. The deal was they didn’t really know, and that all of the rides ‘should’ be open.
“Oh, but not the wonder house because it’s too hot.” “Well we’ve been round the park and there’s a lot not open.” “Oh, we don’t know then.” “So, does anyone know?” “No.”
It was around the climax of this conversation that I chose to reflect on something that had been nagging at me since our arrival in the park. Dutch Wonderland is a 5 time consecutive winner of Best Family Park in the World. Sure that’s just the Golden Ticket awards, and they notoriously suck, but in person this seemed far more egregious than the usual subjective ‘oh it’s just not my favourite rollercoaster, but I’m sure someone likes it.’ And this insult to the amusement industry is plastered everywhere, from the entrance to the park maps.
Had a good laugh about that for a minute anyway, then we resorted to our fast-becoming favourite activity of sitting on a bench waiting for a rollercoaster to open. During this time the entertainment came mainly in the form of other guests making a consistent habit of approaching, seeing the rides were closed and then loudly complaining about the fact that everything was closed.
Eventually, to no fanfare, this opened. I’ve forgotten what it’s called so, RCDB… #2 Kingdom Coaster.
I’d like to say we had a good run of new woodies on this trip for being at least above mediocre. This was about the least remarkable of the lot. At least it’s purple.
Being at the Best Family Park in the World hadn’t done much to raise our spirits, while Google’s threat of thunderstorms was looming over basically every other park we had planned for the rest of the trip.
However as we prepared to sack this one off and rechecked an actual contender for best park in the world, it turned out that the forecast had changed significantly in our favour.
Not only that, Flying Turns had just opened for the day. The decision to leave this place and it’s last potential spiting +1 couldn’t have been made more easily.
Knoebels
I love Knoebels, no other park does it like them. They deserve all the golden tickets.
Only thing we missed last time was their ever-finicky homebrew wooden bobsled thing.
The high tech weighing procedures and distribution of guests in the station is a great contrast to the traditions of the ride concept. Then we almost didn’t get it again as it threw a wobbly right at the point of dispatch, but this was quickly rectified, thankfully.
#3 Flying Turns is definitely a ride for which you need to sit back and think about what it does, to realise how awesome that is. I found onboard that it didn’t manage to express itself in an overly obvious way, though it was a little unhinged in the odd moment here and there. Maybe like many rides with this seating arrangement it’s all about the freedom. I was pretty wedged.
Park complete and there was only one thing on our minds. Phoenix. Lots and lots of Phoenix.
Much like Phantom’s Revenge this delivers an experience that I found was quite easy to downplay over time as to just how incredible it is. It simply sneaks up on you, in the midst of an epic (or in this case, less so) rollercoaster road trip and pow, has you questioning everything you know about rides and rankings.
I called it a list breaker back in 2022 and didn’t know what to do with it, after months of deliberation giving what felt like just a token spot in the top 25.
It did all that to me again from the first lap alone, there’s just nothing else like it that offers that raw but well executed, controlled but not controlled, safe but not safe, wooden coaster buzz bar ejection. Again and again until you’re physically hurt and can’t take any more. In the best way.
We see a lot through this hobby that rides can live or die on their restraint design and comfort or lack thereof. It lends a lot of weight to the grab them while you can mentality. They could very easily ruin this one at any time, I pray that they don’t. It’s so special. And better than Steel Vengeance.
Rode that until the thunderstorm warnings closed it anyway, instantly refunding our ride tickets, then headed over to the Haunted Mansion because I like it and it doesn’t care about rain.
Not quite as top tier as I remember, a few effects were broken and a few more obnoxious noises to balance it. Still a good vibe.
And that’s what Knoebels is about. Just a lovely place to be. I’m no park food connoisseur, mostly because park food mostly sucks, but Knoebels has some of the best and tons to choose from. And it’s reasonably priced. And it’s free to get in. And it’s free to park. And there’s trees. And it’s not Cedar Point.
The thunderstorm never hit in the end so we got to use the tickets we had believed were destined for another year. I had just enjoyed a ton of that food and was starting to feel the effects of getting old, but Phoenix remained glorious as ever.
Then we bought a ton of merch and left, happy as can be.
As soon as we knew we were getting the Lake Compounce passes, it was decided that Kennywood had to be on the cards. A true stand out of a park from one our previous slogs through the region and we still needed a dark ride and a +1.
Original plan was to hit the second park of the day first thing and then close the evening out in magical fashion at Kenny, but the continuing weather crisis quickly put paid to that notion.
Day 11 – Kennywood
Thankfully the only ride that was down here was the car park escalator. We’re back.
First thing you come to and first thing we needed was the Old Mill.
Was great to get on such an ancient dark ride and have a relaxing indoor sit down, laughing at a few skeletons along the way.
Jack Rabbit delivered a good time, with the unconventional layout and ‘that hill’ it never fails to. Park has a strong classic woodie game.
Spotted this Knex Vekoma version of Steel Curtain hiding in an arcade.
And there’s the real thing. Actually open in 2025, what a miracle. Steel Curtain has never let us down and it’s a fantastic ride. I’m always a sucker for things you can’t really get anywhere else, it’s just an unhinged modern take on multi-loopers with some good airtime chucked in, which rides both forceful and well.
Plus the whole package of the queue music, the football themed station announcements and build up, a man pushing buttons, the dispatch sequence, the trains, the look of the layout. Just find the whole attraction really well done (structural issues aside) and, even for style points, there’s nothing else like it. Wanted to buy my first shirt of the trip but as it’s America, the smallest they had was a large.
The cred we were missing was the #1 Lil’ Phantom, so this was of course obtained next. My first ever Molina & Son’s coaster, isn’t that something.
Did Ghostwood Estate, mainly for the shade, and then Thunderbolt, another great Woodie. The hill it’s built on with Phantom’s Revenge is one of those special places in a theme park for me. Interaction, views, it inspires things.
Hadn’t done the Noah’s Ark walkthrough before, and it was also pretty fantastic for some wacky funhouse antics. Shame Blackpool got rid of theirs, though I can see why with the clientele.
Cheat shot.
And then Phantom’s Revenge absolutely destroyed us in the best way. The comfy, unassuming armchair seats combined with forgetting how incredibly ridiculous the airtime is at the end, it’s just another masterful design. The build, the speed, the climax. Better than Steel Vengeance.
One lap of the park at a steady pace was all we could manage both physically and before we had to move on, but it was all we needed to remind ourselves how much we love this place. There’s an inescapable charm to it. A free visit, a +1. Perfect.
About an hour down the road it was time to put the pass to another use at
Idlewild & Soak Zone
We rolled into the park just as a thunder storm hit, which led to a rather special sequence of circumstances.
Firstly, the place was dead as almost everyone had just poured out and called it a day. Didn’t look good for the creds at the very least.
Secondly, we had no idea where we were going or what to expect. Turns out its like Farup Sommerland and you get your wristbands at a drive-thru window, but then there’s no real entrance.
All we found as we headed towards what looked like rides was a sign saying go back and enter through Story Land.
So we entered Story Land through this book and inside was Old Mother Goose, Raggedy Ann and Andy. Real life. We were all equally confused and amused as to why we had found ourselves in this situation, as they probed for details, in character, and managed to be the only people on the trip to compliment our Britishness.
A perfect storm of we’re lost, but we’re playing along, combined with thinking we hadn’t just arrived for the day and assuming all the rides were closed for weather led to a list of tips of how to enjoy Story Land in the meantime.
Catch is that Story Land does not lead to the rides, just more confusion on our part, the highlight of which was being asked to enter a house. “What’s inside?” I asked. “Geppetto” was the only response.
And he was, proceeding to tell us a bunch of stuff in character, all while we’re silently thinking ‘where’s the rollercoaster?’
After about 20 minutes of being lost in Story Land, we admitted defeat and asked Raggedy Ann and Andy where’s the rollercoaster?
In the end, there was no requirement to visit Story Land and the sign was misleading, but it was a better park than Cedar Point and killed some time.
And there was plenty more time to kill. Once in the main park, most of the rides were indeed closed, though with both staff and guests hanging around in anticipation. Refreshingly for an amusement park, communication was very clear at all times. We’re at stage X of weather rules. These rides are closed, these rides are open. These rides will open next.
However this is 2025, so the Alton Towers wild mouse had just undergone a refurbishment and was due to open a few days after our visit. Sending test laps all the while just to spite us.
So we sat on a bench outside the woodie for about an hour, and then it opened. Imagine that.
#2 Rollo Coaster was good fun, if a little unremarkable, but what can you really expect out of 27ft height? A small out and back romp through some woods with some decent forces here and there. +1, park complete, for now.
Nice little place, nothing like what I was expecting. Worth popping in on the pass for sure, but we’ll see what the Herschend takeover does to the value of it I guess.
Talking of nothing to do but coasters, it was time to revisit my old enemy.
After what turned out to be a very relaxed day, thankfully, we then had an insultingly early start to hit the US border one more time. The guy asked what we were doing that day and I told him Cedar Point. After checking the boot he slapped the side of the car and said ‘it’s gonna be a miserable day’.
He couldn’t have been more right.
Day 10 – Cheddar Point
You can often tell how much I enjoy a visit by the number of photos I take to commemorate the occasion.
There’s the entrance.
The early start of course was so that we could take full advantage of the passholder Early Ride Time that this place pretty much demands, sadly.
Top Thrill 2 was of course the main reason for our revisit and one of the most anticipated of the trip, though it was in one of its particularly awkward phases. They had recently announced on socials that it was being added to the list of ERT coasters around the time of our visit, but at the time of the announcement had not been operating for at least a few days prior to that date. The post didn’t age well.
We used our ERT to walk up to it and find a sign saying it was gone, but only temporarily. There were staff in the station, several more at the metal detectors and lockers and a couple more cleaning out the queue, glimpses of hope that they were preparing for something. We joined the queue with a number of other people, hoping to luck out.
50 minutes into our hour of ERT, a man appeared, to shout something inaudible and then physically change the sign outside from ‘Top Thrill might open today’ to ‘Top Thrill will not open today’. Guess it wasn’t happening then.
A classic Cedar Point experience.
Dejected, we reminded ourselves that the world’s best rollercoaster was just a short (long) walk away. So we used the remaining 10 minutes of ERT to head to Steel Vengeance and join the queue outside the entrance there. (The standby half, a fast pass queue had also been formed and, insultingly, was the same length).
30 minutes went by, before they announced that Steel Vengeance was temporarily unavailable.
A classic Cedar Point experience.
Maverick it is then.
With the ERT entirely squandered, Maverick was its usual miserable 90 minute queue. It has shade at least in the second half, but from here you get to witness the fact that the fast pass queue is also already out of its own entrance and taking half of the already limited capacity of the ride.
For reference, this was a Tuesday, one that crowd calendars deemed ‘quiet’, it was still dangerously ‘don’t go outside’ hot and their brand new rollercoaster was due to open later in the week, just to spite us, so we expected at least some form of lull in visitor numbers. No, not at Cedar Point.
Maverick was great anyway, exactly how I remember it. Strong airtime, fast transitions, decent length and a great sense of controlled power. A top 25 if mine wasn’t already full, love it.
From there we walked all the way back to Magnum, via Top Thrill because it was now testing…
Magnum was great anyway, exactly how I remember it. Strong airtime, not too rough, decent length and a great sense of uncontrolled triangular hills. We were surrounded by the quintessential American coaster experience here, constant whoops and hollers and weird comments like ‘God Damn that air time baby’ (on corners) and ‘Man I’m gonna feel that in the morning.’ Love it.
Internet said Steel Vengeance was back, so we headed back over there again and joined a ‘0 minute standby queue’. Sweet, maybe this day is paying off.
It wasn’t 0, physically it was at about the 30 minute mark. There was also a fast pass queue of equal length.
It wasn’t 30. The ride went down two or three more times while we were in the queue, for essential cleaning. Essentially the conditions were so poor that many, many people were falling ill.
Things that contributed to this, within the parks control:
Not being able to take water past the batch point. Holding a full queue of people past the batch point. Locker shenanigans. Holding a queue of people at the lockers. Holding a full queue of people past the lockers. Lack of communication. Not supplying people with water.
So in this endless miserable cycle where even I was feeling close to the worst I’ve ever felt at a park, it took about 2 hours.
And honestly, it wasn’t worth it. All it achieved was Steel Vengeance going down in my estimations.
My initial assessments hold in that it’s very long, full of amazing RMC stuff, blah blah. But it lacks that killer instinct, there’s no real standout moments. I’m a man of a masterful layout and it feels like it doesn’t know what to do with itself. Lots of elements don’t land, and most of the ones that do are done better elsewhere. I preferred Wicked Cyclone.
It was at the moment we retrieved our items from the lockers that I clocked the reality of this visit. We had ridden 3 things in 5 hours, and none of those were new.
We walked past Top Thrill for what turned out to be the last time. It had stopped testing again, the sign remained in place ‘guaranteeing’ its closure for the day and signs of life had only decreased.
Somewhere in the middle of the miserable heat of concrete and rides is a Snoopy shop with air-conditioning. We spent a significant amount of time here, recovering. A few other people were too, including some that looked very ill sitting on the floor. A staff guy awkwardly came up to a few different groups a few times and tried to half-heartedly move them along. ‘You can’t stay here’. Why?
Meanwhile ambulances were heading up and down the midway to provide medical assistance. It was an apocalyptically depressing day for an amusement park.
It took pretty much all we had left in the tank to say well, let’s get the +1 and leave.
So we rode #1 Wild Mouse. No review required.
Then we left.
That evening, several hours away, from a beautifully air-conned hotel room, the internet reported that Top Thrill 2 had reopened.
We had another whole day planned for the park either due to expectations of either great or terrible things, so headed back the following morning to see what we could make of it.
Day 9 – Canada’s Wonderland (again)
This began with a rope drop start to #1 Wonder Mountain’s Guardian as it wasn’t available the night before.
Had a bit of an expectation for this as it was half ‘dark ride’ and has a drop track. It was trash. The coaster does nothing, half the screens were broken and when they did show something it was very poor quality. The drop track was probably the weakest of any coaster I can recall. Great concept, terrible execution. Bring back Zola 7.
Mighty Canadian Spinebuster had the same sign up as the previous day (it reopened a few days after we left, all new and reworked), so that was park complete.
It’s amazing what disgusting weather and lack of care can do to a park as Wonder Mountain’s Guardian was the only thing we rode that day. Did a lap of the place to take all the photos I used for the night before and found that pretty much every ride had a worse queue than we had suffered previously, and that Behemoth was broken.
So, after like an hour, we left.
Overall it was pretty much what I expected from the park really, lack of Alpenfury aside, and it kinda makes sense that I subconsciously dragged my feet in getting there. Concrete and rides, Canada edition. The average quality of coaster is pretty low and their standouts aren’t much to write home about either on a global scale. Above average B&M hyper? We’ve got much better parks in Europe for that. Weather wasn’t the parks fault, but they could put more effort into handling it better. Operations were pretty poor across the board and it suffers from not having anything to do but coasters. Except flats, but the one of those we wanted was broken both days too.
Just another tick in the box, except it hasn’t been ticked because we immediately need to go back… 0/2 for Canada.
Our morning started bright, early and full of optimism. Perhaps a little too bright. It was tourism time.
Day 8 – Niagara Falls
Drove swiftly over to the Canadian half of the city, through the border check and took a cruise down the road that runs parallel to the falls, hoping for a decent parking spot.
Even at this hour, it wasn’t to be, so ended up in Clifton Hill next to one of the rides we wanted in a minute and walked back down to the river via some pleasant greenery.
I’d like to say I was equal parts impressed and equal parts underwhelmed by the falls themselves. It’s a nice view and the sheer power is a spectacle, but at the end of the day it’s a tourist trap.
Hey look, a spite in the distance. Bring back Dragon Mountain.
Clifton Hill Amusements
Moving on to better things, there’s a coaster up the road, on top of a Burger King. Class.
The attraction consists of the House of Frankenstein and you can also pay for a haunted walkthrough thing. If you pay for just the coaster, there’s still some spooky stairs on the way up.
This spectacle greets you at the top before you’re treated to a couple of laps of poorly profiled but perfunctory #1 Frank’ N Coaster.
There’s also some spooky stairs on the way down and an obnoxiously loud air cannon just to sour the experience so you don’t tell your friends.
Over the road, inside an arcade, is a Sally Rides Ghost Blasters, which is pretty cool. I’m no expert, though I probably should be, but it seemed a bit more custom than usual and was surprisingly good value for money.
Of all the things here, I was most interested to try Carnival Chaos from Triotech.
Their Hyper Ride is basically gaming chairs and a blaster that can spin rather wildly through a building of screens. The theme here is some quite nightmare fuelish clown based horror, but it works pretty well and garnered smiles all round.
We were dying at this point, heading back to the car, and it was only like 10:30. Having hoped that our return to Canada would bring a brief respite to the relentless heatwave that was sapping all of our already limited energy and enthusiasm for the trip, it was in fact worse here. It was stepping up another gear.
A couple of hours later up in Toronto, while enjoying some lunch, the temperature reported by the car hit 38°C and brought on serious questions of do we even want to be doing this any more? Concrete and rides, Canada edition. 17 rollercoasters, in this heat. It barely bore thinking about. But it’s why we’d come. Well no, it’s 2025 so that wasn’t open.
Checked in at the hotel just to die a little more inside and then psych ourselves up for the run of our lives. Here we go.
Canada’s Wonderland
Tick.
Always drink plenty of fluids.
Moving is ok, you can always make a game of it, darting from shade to shade like a vampire. Instant regret hits when you end up in a sweaty unshaded queue for #2 Leviathan and there’s nothing you can do but stand there and burn, wondering why anyone else is putting up with it when they could just come back some other day.
The line moved horribly slowly for a 3 train B&M monster but we soon found ourselves on board. Last Giga for me and quite comfortably the worst of the B&M ones. It has the speed and the power of course but nothing really in the way of standout moments. Silly trims, some low bits that don’t do much. It’s quite the visual spectacle on board as things of such scale always are, but I find myself wishing more was happening to my body in response.
S’alright.
Next up was #3 Vortex and oh my, good lord, we were not ready for it. With the snooze fest that is Iron Dragon as my last point of reference for old Arrow Suspendeds, a leisurely lift hill up the mountainside and a scoff at a sign that said it hits speeds of 60Mph, it god damn did.
Absolutely wild and terrifying as it just builds and builds momentum, swinging ever higher and more viciously from side to side while also being perfectly refined and never rough, this thing is an absolute animal and one to be cherished. We hit the brakes at like 135° to flat and were lost for words, before being returned to the grim reality of the operations and proceeding to sit there for another 5 minutes.
Spoilers, but top 3 in the park.
Rides were having issues and we ended up covering far more ground than necessary in our pursuit, combining awkward assessments of what actually matters to us here, what’s nearby, what has a manageable queue and what’s actually open. Yukon Striker was not.
So we ended up on #4 Behemoth, the other big priority, at this point in time reading a queue board sign confirming it was still 38°C, but it feels like 42°C. Thanks.
I really liked this ride, our experiences on it smashed both Lev and all other stadium seating hypers. While those range from embarassingly sluggish to Shambhala, this brought copious amounts of succulent B&M float and crunch.
The other key feature is that it has a layout that performs. You don’t hit the midcourse and the ride is over, you blast through it and into a powerful helix that adds a great variety of forces to the overall package before bringing it back to that satisfying airtime finish. Yay for Behemoth.
Time to get down and dirty with the clones. #5 Backlot Stunt Coaster set complete, it was unpleasant and precisely none of the effects worked.
The Mighty Canadian Spinebuster was reported down for the evening, but Yukon reopened right in front of our faces. We powered in before it could regain a queue, past a sea of people arguing with ride staff about loose articles. Like outside the Mummy. Oh how I wish it was the Mummy.
The lack of attention meant that we started climbing some stairs and then got shouted at for going the wrong way. There was an unchained rope at the base of the stairs so I decided I should put it back for them.
Anyway it was walk on and, it happened. Much like Iron Menace I wasn’t outright offended by #6 Yukon Striker. It rode ok, had a bit of force here and there but is far too large and lumbering to be sprightly about it and far too cookie cutter to be exciting when you’ve done them all.
Looks nice?
From here, both Wonder Mountain’s Guardian and the wild mouse were down, so headed to like the 5th most exciting coaster on park.
Which is #7 Snoopy’s Racing Railway. Except I spited myself by not researching and was horrified to discover in person that it’s just a clone of Fridolino without the charm.
Though the little scene in the shed was a nice touch.
Snoopy’s got creds for days, so while here we also ticked off #8 Ghoster Coaster, a small woodie that got stopped on the lift hill to shout about someone having their phone out apparently.
Not as good as the Kings D and/or Kings I one, I can’t remember which. Maybe both, maybe Carowinds.
Also #9 Taxi Jam, an easy top 10 in the park.
And #10 Silver Streak. Remember when Vekoma couldn’t make anything good, even family coasters? Yeah these still exist.
#11 Thunder Run was a welcome respite from the sun, standard Mack powered affair in the mountain that manages to bring the good times in bad situations.
Then things got real dirty.
Best thing about #12 Dragon Fyre is the statue out front. Soon as we hit the weird straight I knew it was just Canadian Big Loop, and then the regret kicked in.
We rode Lev one more time just to break up the bad. Bit more magical in the dying light, but not what I wanted it to be.
Best thing about #13 Wildebeast is the statue out front. A combination of sticking to your sweaty seat and being bashed to the bone. It was pretty brutal, needs work, but as the mid-sized woodie here it doesn’t need to exist. Stop building single rails and RMC this or something, I’m worried about you.
I believe the #14 Bat earned the title of best Boomerang of the trip. But it’s still a Boomerang.
Then the mouse was back, or rather, the #15 Fly. No review required.
And finally finishing the run on #16 Flight Deck. Absolute filth.
Our reward for landing everything that was available (15/17 coasters) in about 5 hours, in 40 degrees, was two closing laps on Behemoth, which were relatively glorious. It also tied for my most creds in a day streak and I’m happy about that. As ever with these mega parks I’m not sure I want to beat 6 French parks and an Andorran mountain in such simple circumstances.
The next morning found us at Seabreeze. One of those names I’ve heard for years but never fully looked into.
Day 7 – Seabreeze
Wasn’t quite what I had expected given the notable history of the place, a bit more concrete and water slides than nostalgic seaside (lake) experience.
The park was perhaps the worst offender of the aforementioned ‘only Americans can use American websites’ observation as their special price ticket simply wouldn’t go through on a foreign credit card online. We raised this at the gate and they had no sympathy for it, then called the service number who also had no sympathy for it. Full price it is.
First thing we came to was the wrong #1 Jack Rabbit. In a similar vein to Yankee Cannonball a week prior, it didn’t do much of anything for me. Just a bit of cool, this is old, and then a tunnel at the end where everyone screamed too loud.
They don’t let you ride the kiddie cred opposite, not that it was open.
Most interesting ride here is of course the #2 Bobsleds. The little cars are very open and there’s a bit of poke to the particularly unorthodox layout here and there. An overall much more enjoyable piece of history with a slight bit of a sea breeze (lake) up top.
Lastly they have a stock Maurer spinner, #3 Whirlwind, that was scheduled to open after the morning rush, so just about now. About 15 minutes later than advertised, watched the guy appear, put some staff in for a test run and then open it up. Don’t like these very much, custom Maurers generally much better. +1.
Seems strange to me that this is a pay one price park, what with the vibe they’re sort of going for, the other ‘street’ entrance they have and its proximity to a beach and seaside (lake). I know we rarely stick around long in these cred runs but I feel like a lot of others wouldn’t want to either, just wander in to a quick curiosity, pay for a lap on a couple of old rides, buy some deep fried Oreo and wander out again.
A couple of hours down the road, whose online ticketing system worked absolutely fine, is
Niagara Amusement Park AND Splash World
This place worried us somewhat in the build up to the trip. In some eerily similar ways to Playland (NY) it seems like they struggled to get half their rides running quite often, even after delaying both their opening for the year and a second hand ghost train which, funnily enough, came from Playland (NY).
Fortunately for us on this occasion, #4 Silver Comet was ready to receive, so checked off another CCI from the list. It was decent, nothing too special, perhaps a little less wild than Excalibur had been, but more well paced throughout.
This was the ‘new for 2025’ dark ride and I recall some speculation over whether it had had any improvements since its move.
Well no, Flying Witch is about the most lacklustre and sparse ghost train I’ve ridden in recent memory, consisting of mostly empty tin sheds with broken effects, so I very much doubt it.
Had this guy though.
At the back of the park was the #5 Serpent. This was fun, it officially needs 4 people in a car to run, so like that Polish one that might be gone. The staff are particularly vocal and helpful about this, and will even throw themselves in if needs be. Luckily, our saviour came in the form of a lady nearby who hadn’t ridden it in nearly 50 years (?) and provided excellent commentary throughout.
Most of the rest of the park and car park consists of parts of rides such as this. It’s a fascinating scrap heap and would probably serve better as a museum at this point.
Did the job though, it’s time for another legend in
Six Flags Darien Lake
Smashing out this place as part of a three park day seemed optimistic given the state of the trip so far, but it’s Darien Lake, and we were loathed to lend it any more time than absolutely necessary. Plus, it was all part of the important grind to enhance our visit to Alpenfur… Plus, it’s Darien Lake, a perfect storm of nothing really matters.
Going for a logical approach, we started at #6 Ride of Steel. Dismal one train operations made a station wait almost unbearable, but they were at least a park wide consistent policy, and this thing kicked ass.
Was much better than New England Superman in both how it rode and the forces it dealt out. The last few hills really threw us around and make all the build up worth it, which is what these early layouts are all about.
It also managed to provide circumstantial comedy genius of its own as we were perfectly positioned behind an absolute NPC of a man. He had two default animations of jubilatory celebration that he had made it onto the ride and at any given moment would initiate them at entirely random points within the layout, be it silly straight, cruising corner or humpy hill.
I’m still in love with the fact that most people are able to get a pure 90 seconds of ‘I am on a rollercoaster’ bliss out of any hardware, something I can never hope to obtain in my lifetime, but seeing it acted out wordlessly to perfection enhanced my experience greatly.
#7 Predator could easily have been one of those rides that killed me, but it’s another recipient of the Titan Track treatment on this trip. When it’s bad, it’s bad, but where it’s reworked, it’s decent, so another one that can attest to the treatment being a success. The question is with rides like Predator is does it deserve it? I guess it’s about the only unique ride here.
Except maybe this one. Wrong #8 Viper involved another uncomfortably long station wait during which a particularly sweaty guy screamed ‘could we start the fans, PLEASE!’ only not with that wording, accent or internation. I wish. He was promptly ignored by the staff and as I gazed upon the rust that was holding the questionable cooling system together I internally surmised that this was probably for the best.
On paper this is like Arrow’s Goudurix, what with the batwing and all. Much like Goudurix it doesn’t ride as bad as it should and garners a very solid ‘it was ok’.
Time was ticking a little by this point so we kept ploughing through. Calculations dictated that park complete could have been won or lost at #9 Tantrum with its single 8 seater car and being, depressingly, one of the most popular rides here. Luck shined down upon us as we received a very early callup to fill some empty seats, skipping about half the queue.
It rode like ass and continued to make me question why I still supposedly like a couple of Eurofighters out there. Paultons, 2026!
Speaking of ass, it was time for our first SLC of the trip in #10 Mind Eraser. Never ceases to amaze me how much they suck.
Speaking of suck, next on the list was #11 Boomerang. Never ceases to amaze me how unpleasant these can be.
Speaking of unpleasant, the final ride was #12 Moto Coaster. Don’t like the seating position, how they ride, or the layout of these. Never have, never will. Also the layout of the park is stupid and you can’t get to it from the adjacent Boomerang without a massive walk around the entire lake (lake).
There is however a sneaky shortcut in the opposite direction as you can nod at a security man, get a hand stamp and leave the park through a camping ground and rather nice looking shopping area out the back.
This brings you round to another more pleasant aspect of the park, nature and some views of these two in the setting sun.
Upon reflection of our successful completion, it wasn’t pretty, but you’re alright Darien Lake, you’re alright.
There was one silver lining to Quantum Accelerator’s fake opening date forcing us to stay in the area longer than necessary. Over the past few days we’d been religiously checking good old queue-times.com for a number of reasons, not least
Boulder Smash was back.
Day 6 – Lake Compounce (again)
Making use of our sweet, sweet preferred parking we hit the park at opening and headed straight to redemption town.
Sure enough, a station wait invited us aboard the front car of #1 Boulder Dash and we were soon on our way up the intimidating lift hill, surrounded by forest, no idea what was to come. I’d managed to avoid spoilers for this long.
Turns out it’s a simple but interesting layout. Swooping turn drop, a very long straight filled with stuff, swooping turn drop, a long straight filled with stuff. Brakes. This didn’t quite tie up with my expectations of it being anything like crazy, wild or out there. Rather than the terrain beast it could have been in my head, and some of the fleeting glimpses you get of it offride, it’s just a simple concept, done well.
The first ‘straight’ bit is actually full of slight corners, snaking along the hillside with a bunch of moderate hills and airtime, and a few laterals for good measure. The final straight is all hills of varying sizes. Some of them land really well and some of them don’t. There’s titan track from a re-work in a few bits and this seems to have helped it along, notably smoothing out the base of the first drop and providing a very respectably floaty hill towards the end.
One of the most impressive things about Boulder Dash is the way it just kinda chugs through the whole layout at a decent pace. You lose a sense of scale and height amonst the foliage but the momentum built out of the understated two big drops carry it through tons of elements without ever noticeably losing speed, nor ever feeling overly fast. It just goes.
General consensus had told us to stick to the front of the train for the best experience, and we did for the remaining morning laps we could grab before the queue built too badly for the single train operation. Perhaps it is more wild at the back, but I think that’s just due to exacerbated roughness rather than design. Up front is a perfectly fun time if you can avoid the bugs. Recommend sunglasses on, enjoying.
Overall very happy to add the name to my list, Boulder Dash is of course a legend and deservedly so. It wasn’t my absolute favourite CCI but it’s up there, and I have to assume stands as a great inspiration to some of the more modern greats in wood coaster design. Would love to try it at night one day.
But we had places to be, the last minute reshuffling of parks couldn’t allow for us to be anything but efficient or something would lose out on this trip. Nickelodeon Universe had been on the cards for about the tenth time in these trips but their website clearly stated both Sandy and Takabisha weren’t available so it just didn’t seem worth the trek, again.
Instead, a simple 4 hour drive landed us at old mate
Dorney Park
For all the bad rep this place gets or used to get, including from myself with the more tongue in cheek mockery, we had a damn good time on our revisit to Dorney Park. Be that just an effect of some of the worst visits imaginable in the lead up, 2019 Skyrush man was right, it was kicking multiple asses.
We of course started at the new boy, god damn I-ron Menace.
It’s not very good, but it’s not that bad either. Same old big drop, same old elements, slightly above average pace. With modern B&M seemingly in this rut of producing poorly tracked, 300ft, 30 million dollar coasters, #2 Iron Menace rode fine, if unremarkable.
And that sums up the entire attraction really. They’ve tried for a bit of theming here and there, but not really. They’ve tried to incorporate the stupid Impulse into the same area and theme, but not really. You have to go out of your way to see this particular bit, and it’s behind a toilet. The little fiery pit to hell they put under the base of the drop looks absolutely comical in size, design and placement. It really could have used something more for that intimidation factor and it seems like simply no one cares about these dive machines any more. The point of the vertical drop has been lost along the way.
And then there’s just nothing else to give you that story. Which could have been Dr. D levels of obnoxious, sure, but we walked on it, rode it, walked off it, and felt no particular desire to do so again. +1.
Instead we headed over to Steel Force and experienced a real rollercoaster.
I’d completely forgotten how ridiculously good these things can be, in the haze of riding all of them in one stupid trip several years ago. The ’90s weren’t messing around and 2025 is a joke. Steel Force was flawless.
Beautifully smooth, powerful airtime, intense speed, a wild turnaround, very long satisfying ride experience and a train and restraint system that lets it all just feel that 20% more alive. Most importantly, a sense of pure joyous fun. An absolute masterclass and one of the highlights of the trip.
Some may say you should be riding cloned Arrow loopers (trash like Steamin’ Demon) while you still can, cos they’re a dying breed. No. Ride Morgan hypers while you still can. Total treasures. Except Steel Eel.
Anyway, there was still another +1 to get after our previously failed completion of the park. The poxy wild mouse with an ever disproportionate queue time.
Queued a disproportionate amount of time given everything that had just happened only to sit in the car, get despatched into some form of station brake skip and then be kicked off because the console was throwing up a fault. So close.
So we went to ride Hydra the Revenge while they worked on that. Another walk on.
It’s good. Perhaps not quite as good as my memory served, but still massively appreciate the out of the box layout on offer. What with the Steel Force turnaround and couple of bits here, Dorney on it’s slight hill has an underrated terrain game. Oh, and interaction game. I forgot the best part about Steel Force, we had the perfect race alongside Thunderbolt, it was magical, like being at Liseberg all over again.
Miraculously they fixed their fairground ride without much delay and we bagged the #3 Wild Mouse. Park complete.
There was then time for one more ride before we had to leave for the night
I had clocked Demon Drop as actually being open for once and wanted to add it to the Intamin drop tower collection, so we did. These are technological treasures and always ones to behold. Terrifying and unhinged is another way to put them and for that reason I love ’em.
I stand by my thoughts from 3 years ago, perhaps with even more conviction. On paper this park looks like it sucks on an American scale because it lacks a destination coaster or hard hitter. The reality for a foreign visitor however is that most of us would kill for a Dorney park of our own. Maybe that’s not possible because the nature of it being overshadowed by giants grants it that freedom to have a solid, well-rounded collection of walk-on major coasters in the middle of summer, but it’s everything I wish Thorpe was right now.
All in all a successful day. Can we make it two in a row?
Back in the warm embrace of the states we were ready for, on paper, the most chill day of the trip.
Ideally would have gone harder, but even after significant maths following the failures of the past few days, and of the amusement industry in 2025, there was simply nothing else to be gained in the region.
Let’s hope it’s a good one then.
Day 5 – Six Flags Great Escape
Though a little crowded first thing, impressions were positive at the entrance. Ownership of this place is steeped in history, so it’s a little less Six Flags at least on the surface. Visually very nice, for the first 10 paces into the park.
And for a few other patches here and there, appreciate the effort in theming. Wanted to start the morning on Bobcat but it wasn’t ready. Wasn’t clear whether this was technical issues or just staggered openings, but it resulted in yet another session of sitting on a bench looking at a closed ride. From one park to another. Sometimes you start to doubt your choices.
Anyway, the guy outside also told people that Comet was closed for now, so we just took a wander and found this nice little tribute.
Then beyond that, through a waterpark because the layout of this place was weird, we could tell that #1 Comet clearly was running.
Thus it became coaster #1700 for me, and it was a good one. Bit of a surprise hit amongst the woodies on this trip as I knew literally nothing about it. Solid, old fashioned fun with great tracking, surprisingly good forces and comfy trains. They clearly look after this one and I liked it a lot.
Upon the return to #2 Bobcat, it had opened. This completed the set of baby Gravity woodies for the trip, and the world I think. Only got Australian Leviathan left to ride from the manufacturer I call my boys. Also just found out this was my 150th wooden coaster, so two milestones in one park. If measured in 50s, the fact that there are less than 200 woodies operating in the world means this could be the last, which is crazy to me. Unless I keep going hard and they keep opening more.
Enough gooning, how was the ride? Meh. It packed nowhere near the same punch as Roar-a-Saurus, or even Wooden Warrior, while also managing to feel criminally short. They all are of course, but there’s a certain magic to feeling like you get more than you should out of a drop. Bobcat felt like less, most like Timber but also way less potent. I guess it didn’t particularly suffer from pacing like many do, there wasn’t a noticable sap of energy at any point, just no noticeably strong element either. One of the weakest for sure and not a good representation of modern Gravity sadly, on this occasion.
With that slight disappointment out of the way, the park very quickly began to fall apart.
The Boomerang was closed because it’s 2025 and it’s just had a refurb, so they can’t reopen it yet. That puts us 2 for 4 on Boomerangs, yay?
The mine train was closed because it’s 2025 and they haven’t finished their ‘improvements’ yet, 1 month into a park that essentially has a 3 month season. American calendars make these win rates seem all the more despairing.
They don’t let you ride the kiddie cred.
#3 Steamin’ Demon it is then. Mercifully it had no queue as that would have been nothing but sunburn and misery. Rode awfully and the comedy of the name wasn’t enough to save the character. Desperately needed a song. Have you heard the demon? Have you heard him steamin’?
And that was Six Flags Great Escape. Bit of a wash, 3 creds, 3 spites, 3 hours. Not particularly impressed, other than Comet. Come for Comet if you want.
Haven’t heard many good things about La Ronde over the years, but you know me, I like to be on the ground, don’t judge ’til you’ve been.
It’s bad.
Day 4 – La Ronde
Apologies for the lack of photos in this one. I only took a few out of a combination of defiance, lack of time and lack of care.
To start with, it’s a pain to get in by car due to its weird location on an island in a river. An island that isn’t just La Ronde, in fact they seem to try and act like it doesn’t exist (I wonder why), but also has some grass and trees or something.
A severe lack of either signage or useful signage, security cars blocking the way, plus convoluted routes meant crossing the massive bridge over the island more than once and getting stuck in ugly city traffic for 20 mins. There’s a weird sketchy pay & display car park under the bridge that the road system might try and land you in, but we of course wanted the less obvious actual sketchy car park under the bridge, with our six flags passes, which were about to be put to the test.
For context, rather than baseless descriptors, on this particular day someone decided to crash into someone else within this car park and then start a fight about it, to the point that security had to intervene.
The walk to the entrance was a bit grim, while we witnessed a plethora of buses dropping off a sea of kids in front of us. I didn’t get a picture of the entrance, for the reasons stated above, but also because it was just a faded sign kinda blocked by security huts, miles of wasted cattlepen and people queue-jumping us to get in the park.
Thankfully security checks themselves weren’t an issue, nor were the season passes, and we entered to a weird statue thing that’s just inside, with many more armed security already on patrol. First impressions are everything.
Didn’t really have a plan for the day, because didn’t really care and figured we had 9 hours for 9 creds. Even if it’s bad, easy.
It’s bad.
So ended up on the Batman clone, #1 Vampire first, in a grim ass queue that could have been much grimmer as it continued to swell horrifically behind us. There’s just not much to it. A shed, grass and some fence. Chuck that clone in. Glacial one train operations didn’t help the situation, but was at least policy throughout the park for consistency.
Highlight of the experience was a random family appearing from seemingly out of nowhere, into the queue, from the ride area. I guess signs really don’t mean anything in Montreal.
Oh, the ride. Rode pretty intense, one of the better one of these for me. But meh. Took an hour.
That was in a dead end, so this poor man’s wild mouse #2 Toboggan Nordique was next. Potentially Zamperla’s best of the trip though. Took 90 mins.
Two sides to the #3 Monstre, sadly. Hated everything about it. Highlight of the experience is some hilarity in the queue saying that it won some king of the coasters award amongst the six flags parks in the 2000s, against the likes of El Toro and X2. Right.
The wait was excruciating of course, made worse by being queue jumped as the air gates opened, by some kids. They ran through another set of gates and dived into our seats before our very eyes. We were already through also, so stood there in dismay while the gates closed behind us, no seats left, to see what would be done about it.
Restraint checking staff member came down and we explained the situation. They asked the kids to move, they refused. Then some woman at the air gates started arguing for the kids, I failed to pick up the context as it seemed so bizarre. If they were related then this arrangement meant their group would no longer be riding together. If they weren’t, then who the hell was she?
Anyway, clearly authority isn’t necessary when operating heavy machinery, so we were asked if we would mind waiting for the next train. Well yes, but you’re not going to do anything about it are you. Upon passing back through the gates, one waiting guest tried to lighten the mood by asking if we wanted the front. We were already tactically in a seat of minimum force for self preservation, so we politely declined. Which also meant he may have been trying to kill us, but we’ll assume not, what a champ.
Oh, the ride. Rode absolutely awful, rattled my brain throughout and gave me a headache, has a dumbass layout that wouldn’t be good anyway. Oh and it doesn’t duel/race because it will only destroy itself quicker (please do). They couldn’t even open both sides in the same year. Took over 90 mins.
Thus we walked away with no real intention of enYoying the other side.
Boomerang was closed, because it’s 2025, meaning it just had a refurb, opened, and then closed again.
Then Goliath got stuck on the lift hill. No biggie.
#4 Marche du Mille-pattes had the physically shortest queue on park and was probably one of the most interesting rides left. Highlight of the experience was the three drops of rain that fell on us during an unyieldingly disgustingly hot day. It was ruined, of course, by being queue jumped several times by kids, then the batcher being terrible and letting too many people into the station, such that our group had to be split and then forced to sit with children, rather than sending said children back through the gate… we’ve had it both ways now.
Anyway, the kid I was with clearly agreed this was BS, as the car design of the Arrow mini-mine train (set complete) meant that sharing with him had my leg at a painfully contorted angle, and then pinned to oblivion by the restraint so all forces of the ride were taken through said leg. Isn’t that going to be uncomfortable, he asked? Yes, I replied.
Yes it is. Took over half an hour.
We were now over halfway through the operating day, under halfway through the coasters and thoroughly hating our existence, so decided to sack off any other creds and prioritise Goliath. The lift stop had cleared, but it had not returned to operation.
So one more coaster with the slightest bit of intrigue, an indoor Intamin which could have been a la Skull Mountain.
It wasn’t, #5 Dragon was boring and unremarkable, and the wait was artificially lengthened by a school teacher helping a large number of kids jump the queue. Took over an hour.
Crunch time came at what was now under 3 hours left:
We could queue 90 mins for an SLC or we could queue 90 mins for the other side of Monstre. Either of which could then mean that Goliath reopens while we’re suffering and hit 90 mins again itself. Both of which would end the day.
Or we wait outside Goliath and grab that walk on lap if they fix it. Plus, if we don’t get the only coaster of any value here, we’ll be coming back anyway, so creds are moot. What a game we play.
So we whiled away the rest of our evening at La Ronde in some shade, sitting and watching some engineers potter back and forth pushing buttons to no effect, then jumping in a buggy to retrieve some spare sensors, to no effect. Probably the highlight of the visit.
As it reached under an hour until close, it became rather apparent that it wasn’t going to happen. Security came to replace ride staff at the entrance, so we headed out a little early in at least the hope that we’d beat the leaving rush. It didn’t reopen the following day either.
Still took over half an hour to get off the island, with a bunch of poor, rude drivers, and that was with me skipping at least half of the queue going down the wrong way out of the car park. Because it wasn’t signposted.
Thus, we left La Ronde, Montreal and Canada that night with only one image in mind.
Which is the second time I’ve got use that out here, yay.
What else is there to say? 5 creds, 5 photos, 9 hours. Easy contender for the worst major park visit in the world. Previously for me I think that was Mirabilandia, but they at least have a couple of rides of slight interest, that I was at least able to ride. So congrats to them.
Advice for mitigation I guess – plan your route in photographically with as many resources as you can. Once in, ride the only thing worth riding (the B&M hyper) immediately, then consider leaving.
Better yet, don’t go. You don’t need that Six Flags day.
