Today started very early as we needed to be at Gold Coast airport for our 8am flight back to Singapore.
Once there we had just enough time to have a meal before we were due to be boarding our flight to Shenzhen.
While Scoot had been great at getting us to and from Australia, today would be their downfall with our plane leaving 2 hours late and then losing yet more time in the air, meaning we didn’t touch down in Shenzhen until 1am.
Day 13
Heartline had always told me China can be hard work and I was about to experience it first hand.
By the time we got through immigration and collected our luggage it was now 2am and we were ruined. We made our way to the airport hotel for a very quick sleep, 4 hours if I remember, before checking out and making our way to a hotel near Happy Valley where we were going to be based for the rest of the trip.
It was raining when we got to this new hotel and I was already fearing the worst. While it’s common knowledge that rain and Asian parks don’t go together, I’d heard that China were the worst offenders. I’d come to learn though that the Chinese will use just about any excuse to not run their coasters.
Our plan was to visit Happy Valley and Knight Valley today but because of the weather Heartline decided it would be best to phone them to see what’s happening.
Happy Valley: “It’s raining, the coasters won’t open until the rain has stopped, then we’ve had sunny weather to dry the tracks, then we will test them to see if they can open”.
So that’s a no then…
Knight Valley: “The wooden one isn’t running, weather is bad and it’s under maintenance today and tomorrow”.
And so is that…
The plan for tomorrow was an 8 hour round trip to Xiamen for Oriental Heritage, while we are phoning around let’s see if that’s still an option.
Oriental Heritage: “Tracks have been wet for a few days now, if they dry, the coasters should be open”.
That clears that up then…
With plans ruined we effortlessly crossed “one of the most hostile borders in the World” from Shenzhen to Hong Kong to go shopping.
On return to Shenzhen that evening we had the best Pizza Express of my life and purchased our bullet train tickets to Xiamen. We just decided to risk it in regards to our plans for tomorrow because it was the only day we could make it work.
Day 14
Today was another very early start, in order to catch a taxi to the train station, thankfully we’d actually managed to get some proper sleep last night.
Chinese bullet trains are fantastic it turns out and just as awesome as the Japanese ones but MUCH cheaper.
The almost 4 hour journey flew by and better still the sun was shining!
After arriving at Xiamen station we went to the bus park but only managed to confuse ourselves. After a while we just decided to get a taxi to the park in order to save time and anymore confusion.
This taxi journey was actually scary, as is the way the Chinese drive in general.
Oriental Heritage Xiamen
The Fantawild company operate many different parks across China and they have set styles they build the parks around. This was one of their Oriental Heritage parks, which basically means it’s themed, beautifully I must add, around traditional Chinese culture.
Most of their Oriental Heritage parks contain large Gravity Group woodies all named Jungle Trailblazer and nearly all of them unique. Jungle Trailblazer was the main reason we came on an 8 hour round trip to Xiamen but I was also very excited to try out the park’s many dark rides because Heartline had told me Fantawild dark rides are amazing. Enough back story, let’s get to it.
After yesterday’s farce you cannot imagine our excitement when we got to the park entrance and found out that everything was open.
We quickly slammed our money on the counter and began powering towards Jungle Trailblazer.
Between the park entrance and the coaster we saw not one other park guest, it was one of the most surreal things I’ve ever witnessed.
Jungle Trailblazer – Oh how I wanted this to be great, but it wasn’t…
Jungle Trailblazer (Xiamen) is a ride of 3 parts.
Part 1 is really good and starts with a vicious first drop followed a 10 foot tall air time hill. Following this is a sideways air time hill and then yet another air time hill. While none of these air time moments are quite as good as I wanted them to be, they are still really good fun.
Part 2 is meant to be more of the same but the coaster has now lost so much speed that none of the air time moments have any effect.
Part 3 is even worse because you are now pretty much crawling your way back to the brakes.
If Jungle Trailblazer rode for it’s whole layout how it rides it’s first 1/3 then it would be a fantastic wooden coaster but sadly it doesn’t and that’s such a bitter disappointment.
So with Jungle Trailblazer being much less impressive than I was hoping for, it was all hinging on the park’s dark rides now. Thankfully this would not only be where the park would shine but it’s where my mind was about to be blown.
The Legend Of Nuwa – This dark ride uses the Spider Man/Transformers ride system to take you on an adventure where you help Nuwa (a Chinese Goddess) protect a magical stone from some bad guys. It’s fantastically done and while not quite as good as the rides it’s based off, I still loved it.
The Flaming Mountains – While I didn’t like Forbidden Journey, I absolutely loved this ride. Using the exact same technology, better utilised and with an actual story, this thing is beautiful. You join forces with a golden monkey to fight a demon bull and it’s even more fun than that sounds.
Rumble Under The Sea – This ride features a huge trackless dark ride vehicle, following a young warrior girl trying to get an angry dragon to unflood the city. It’s very good, just perhaps not as good as the other 2 dark rides in the park.
This may be the most brief Disney trip report around. At the time of visiting, it had only relatively recently opened and was already big news everywhere, to the point that I had personally got fed up of reading about it. Figured others might think the same.
Day 8 – Shanghai Disneyland
After turning down a few hundred imitation Mickey Mouse ears on the excessively long metro line to the park, arrived in the outside shopping street and bought some tasty cakes for breakfast before heading inside.
The park as a whole wasn’t busy, but Soarin’ was already on 120 minutes and had run out of fastracks. First ride on your right as you enter is a great place to put it, gobbles people up for the day. Nothing else broke 30 mins all day and we only bothered with fastrack on the 2 coasters, out of principle rather than necessity. The rapids ride and Crystal Grotto were closed all day and I was somewhat disappointed about those. Pirates was also closed, for now.
Peter Pan’s Flight felt like a nicely freshened up version of the older ones and a good kickstart to the magic.
Didn’t bother with the Winnie the Pooh ride this time. Been there, done that.
The walkthrough attraction inside the castle centrepiece was quite interesting with various scenes from Snow White sung in Mandarin and a bit of projection trickery. It didn’t contain anything from other films like I had expected though, with all the apparent clues to every other Disney film in history in the queue line.
Buzz Lightyear Planet Rescue was good fun, as the classic Disney shooting dark ride should be. Just a shame the spinny lever that usually rotates the car didn’t do anything.
There was also a Star Wars exhibition in this area plugging the release of Rogue One.
#1 TRON Lightcycle Power Run
This ride is so visually impressive, inside and out. I have already made my feelings on Motocoasters quite clear and this is obviously the best of the bunch by a significant margin, with a surprisingly strong launch and plenty of pretty things to look at – the indoor section with the projections that follow the train is nothing short of mesmerising. I just still can’t get on with assuming that position, it simply detracts from the experience for me. A re-ride further proved my point, as we happened to get batched into a disabled car that’s located on the back of one of the trains. Tron was much, much better as a normal sit down rollercoaster.
With some perfect timing, we happened to be walking past Pirates of the Caribbean Battle for the Sunken Treasure just as it opened and got on the first boat of the day, following a 6 mile casual stroll through the huge queue while everyone behind us was desparately trying to overtake. Wow. My previous belief that ‘Disney’s best rides are non-IP’ went straight out the window. This attraction is quite the masterpiece of immersion and words cannot really do it justice. Straight up there amongst the very best of dark rides for the sheer combination of everything it does better than I have ever seen before – animatronics, projections, screens, the vehicle movement. It has it all. Soon after we left, it broke down again (still ironing out some teething problems obviously). Later still, we happened to be passing the very moment it reopened for a second time. A clear indication of skill on our part.
The pirate related show in the same area was rather entertaining. It was quite dialogue heavy, but had some good stunts towards the end.
The canoe ride was a waste of time. Tried to scouted it out quite a bit beforehand and couldn’t see much going on, but thinking of Jungle Cruise and Disney, I presumed there must have been something special about this attraction. There wasn’t. Just some half-arsed rowing around some open water.
#2 Seven Dwarves Mine Train
The other coaster in the park is very well themed and ridiculously smooth with those magic cars, but unfortunately it’s weak as a mine train – I know Disney revolves around family experiences but at least the other iterations give you something to think about. This was purely visual entertainment. Didn’t feel the need for more than one go.
Got hand stamped and went back out to the village via the smaller exit for some food that nearly killed me. I expected better from Disney endorsements.
Gave up on the merchandise shops because they were stupidly laid out and far too packed. It seemed that most of the guests’ day out consisted of Soarin, Shop, Show. So to get ahead of the curve, we settled in for an early wait at the castle for the closing show.
Everyone was surprisingly civil during the whole build up and throughout the actual event. Being constantly on edge for losing a good spot seemed like a wasted effort. The show was very good of course, I couldn’t really place it above or below any of the other standard film and song snippet based closing shows that I’ve seen at the other parks, I imagine it just depends on your personal preference on what films and songs you get at the time. This was the first time I saw Star Wars make an appearance in it, which was cool, if a little odd.
It’s a very nice park, but for now it lacks a couple of extra killer rides for a Disney, just to keep you there for a truly satisfying full day experience. As good as Pirates and Tron were, they wouldn’t keep me here for another 12 hours. I’m not so sure the upcoming copy and paste Toy Story land will fix anything about that issue… so it could be a good many years before I think about returning.
Days 9 – 11
The following morning we were due to head to Happy Valley Shanghai, but minutes before we left the hotel for the day I was suddenly very, very ill and ended up bed ridden for the next 2 days of the trip. I can only assume it was from the food outside Disney the night before and fear through that guesswork has completely rewritten how I will experience China in future – be a lot more selective about meal consumption, it just isn’t worth potentially ruining the trip for a bit of sustenance.
This unfortunate episode meant that there was only a Saturday morning left with which to attempt the Happy Valley visit before our early evening flight back to Singapore. Having spent 2 days in bed pretty much doing nothing but obsessively running through in my head how I could still achieve what I wanted at the park, what to ride in what order, what I would skip if it was busy, we took the stupidly long metro out to the place armed with the most meticulous gameplan you can imagine.
It all went wrong very quickly. The ride closure sign indicated that the Gravity woodie was to be closed for the day (priority ride #1). Though there are several other significant coasters in the park, they are all clones and it wouldn’t have been the end of the world to miss them for now. I was still thinking that the more I got done today, the less there would be to do next time (clearly now that I have messed up and will HAVE to come back in future for the star attraction).
Got as far as the queues for the ticket window, where it was a complete scrum. There were tons of people around, making it look worryingly busy and they were all faffing here over no more than a couple of open windows. A good half an hour passed in the queue with very little progress, all while I’m getting rather anxious about the mountainous task that lies ahead. As I finally near the front, I get blatantly queue jumped by a large group of teenagers who are all brandishing money, both on their phones and shouting out to various people dispersed throughout the mess of crowd behind me and simply taking forever to do what they need to do. At this point, still not feeling 100%, I decide no, I’m not putting up with this today, it will just be horrible.
So we went to see one of the local water towns for a bit of culture instead.
Bonus China highlight: Particularly enjoyed the excessive lengths to which they went to indicate that this cable floor cover was a trip hazard. Yes, that bloke in the brown suit has a megaphone and it is his responsibility to announce “mind your step” every few seconds.
Click here to see a summary of all China trips made on this travel visa.
After increasing levels of mishaps in the last few days, this day ran like a dream. A morning train took us to Changzhou, from which we found the tourist office and another minibus driver to the first planned park. We were told to wait around for other guests to show up, but none did. There was only one other girl on the bus ride and she didn’t even come to the park.
Day 7 – World Joyland
This meant that Joyland seemed like ghost town number 3, with 0 cars in the car park, the shuttle bus running just for us and then abandoning us for the duration. There was no sign of any guests throughout most of the park until the back half, where a tour group of young adults had formed a queue outside a certain ride entrance.
#1 Starry Sky Ripper
The B&M flyer opened a few minutes later and even though I was the latecomer in this scene, I managed to nab the back row of the first train because the locals have no interest in such seats.
The whole starting inversion sequence was surprisingly intense and very enjoyable. The 540° roll is particularly unnerving as you dont expect it to keep going after the first twist, before it disappears from under you, dropping straight into the lung crushing loop. After that though I felt that the rest of the layout didn’t do enough for me with a series of slow turns and the other repetetive inversions that most of these have.
An overall fun ride at least and definitely worth doing. I grabbed a couple more goes in empty trains both front and back about half an hour later as the locals have no interest in re-rides either. Highlight: Those extra 180° came out of nowhere. Lowlight: Intensity fizzles out very quickly.
#2 Dragon Roaring Heaven
This mine train clone was the next of the staggered openings. Wouldn’t say it was particularly worse than the originals, except perhaps for the relative young age of it. Highlight: That dragon on the front of the train. Lowlight: A lift hill too many.
#3 Clouds of Fairyland
What an ordeal. Incoming novel: This was the last of the staggered openings and I was first in line, ready and raring to get this thing out of the way. The queue opened on time, but stood at the station gate for nearing half an hour. Once we were let in, I sat down and habitually pulled down the restraint. This act earned me a death glare from one of the 2 female attendants for the ride, who immediately went to the control box to reset the restraints. Lesson learnt. The staff were on the warpath now, let battle commence. Everyone else had sat down by this stage but of course hadn’t considered any of the standard loose item rulings on rides. They were now told verbally and 11 people slowly mumbled away and stood up, fumbling in their pockets and removing an item or two, leaving the train to put them in the designated area. Most of them sat down again, only moments later realising they had other stuff in there, several times. Next it was the physical inspection. The attendants climbed onto the trains and gave everyone’s legs a good squeeze and then all 12 of us were on our feet again. I’d been had for sneaking a tissue on board, others had been had for phones and other items they’d somehow missed. We were violated and shamed, but we were ready. Almost. The restraints were applied, one by one, but the last bloke in the train became the first person in Asia to do the walk of shame for size reasons. He wasn’t particularly big, he just had a thick padded coat on (it was barely 5°C today, but all the coasters opened, take that Oriental Heritage Ningbo). I considered pointing out that he could probably manage it but had given up on life by this point. The restraints were unlocked, an empty seat has now become available. We must fill that seat. Guest number 13 is let into the station, sits down, gets up twice more for various items in his pockets. The restraints are sorted for the second time. We are now forcibly told to raise our arms and hold on to some thin ribbon hoops on the sides of the head rests. I was glad for these, having died on many rides previously due to not holding properly on in awkward positions. I didn’t dare disobey the rule because they probably would have E-stopped me upside down for it.
The ride was rougher than I had experienced on these and only did a single circuit. Worth it. Highlight: A legendary tale Lowlight: A large percentage of life gone
The main dark ride in the park has been closed for an upgrade for quite a while now it seems, which was a little disappointing.
There was a lack of water in the water ride, aside from the fact it was a tad chilly for that sort of attraction.
Most indoor things seemed to be closed actually, but at least it wasn’t the B&M. Had it all knocked out in very little time. A visually impressive park that lacks a bit of substance. Would have liked to try a bit more.
Having no desire to hang around all day, spoke to the most friendly and helpful guest services on earth who found us some sort of Chinese Uber straight to their rival park, using their personal phones. Fabulous people.
Day 7 – China Dinosaur Park
Had a minor meltdown at the entrance to the second park after being told, as I stepped through a turnstile and handed my ticket over, that the ‘4D coaster’ wasn’t running.
A brisk walk proved this wrong within a couple of minutes, so just make it up as you go along.
#4 Dinoconda
This monstrosity of an S&S 4D coaster created anticipation like little else on the very casually paced 200ft backwards lift hill. While being intimidating, mental and almost entirely unique as an experience with the rotating seats, it didn’t leave me absolutely gagging for more, though it sure was a lot of fun.
The first drop in the position it puts you in (facing the floor) is ridiculously good, but it then feels like the whole ride was planned around that one moment and the rest is just a case of let’s see what happens – seats bouncing around somewhat awkwardly with little sense of purpose. I feel they’ve only scratched the surface on what can be done with this type of ride, but I also see why people would love the uncalculated wrath of it chucking you around. Highlight: First drop. Lowlight: Cred anxiety.
#5 Whirling Dinosaur
Spinning coaster clone, you know the score. Highlight: +1 Lowlight: Such a low quality package compared to the rest of the park.
#6 Dinosaur Mountain
This caught me off guard. I expected a themed version of the same rubbish from the previous day, but it turns out Zamperla Motocoasters can have lift hills and interesting layouts. Dinosaur theming is also a plus. The riding position still sucks though. Highlight: A pleasant surprise. Lowlight: Locals following baggage instructions in the dark is a recipe for disaster.
Did the King Kong ride just because it looked far superior to Bobbejaanland’s.
There was also a haunted walkthrough with dinosaurs of course. Didn’t disappoint.
A ‘Desperados’ style static screen shooting attraction, this time riding dinosaurs, was a refreshing experience after coming across so many standard cowboy (and upcharge) versions worldwide. Instead of shooting bandits, we were calming down rabid dinosaurs with injections. It was just a shame that they turned the house lights on almost immediately when the final scores came up, so no one knew the outcome of the game.
Had enough time for admiring the plentiful theming and a couple of re-rides on the beast just before they started closing things down for the evening.
I still can’t believe how well it all came together on this particular day, recent experiences had lead me to expect either one or both of the major creds to be down and to be forced to spend a whole day in each park just through impracticalities. Can the luck hold?
The final city of the journey was Shanghai, where we set up shop for many days hoping to hit a few ‘local’ parks as well as shuttle out to a couple of others. I underestimated how huge the city would be, thinking that a nice central hotel location would cover everything comfortably. It still did to an extent, but the metro journies alone could take hours.
Day 6 – Jin Jiang Action Park
Not the most glamorous of city parks. Took a little while to spot it from the nearest metro station – it’s amazing how well a huge flyover road network can block the view of a massive ferris wheel and rollercoaster. Took a stab in the dark with ride ticket quantities, as the staff at the entrance couldn’t possibly tell me what was actually open, even though they insisted on knowing the exact number of rides I wanted to buy up front before going in. Let’s find out.
Turns out the star attraction was closed when we got inside so I burned through all the tickets in a huff of a hurry.
#1 Moto Coaster
Not a good start as the operator of the first attraction clearly didn’t have the time of day for me. “Sit on the ride and read the instruction sign for 10 minutes while I have a smoke.” “Ok.” “Feet flat on the floor. FEET FLAT ON THE FLOOR.” “Anatomically impossible mate.” Dispatch. What a weird representation of motorbike riding. The transition out of the launch is really awkward and then it meanders slowly downwards and gets stuck on the brakes for a further 10 minutes. Highlight: +1 Lowlight: Junk
#2 Spinning Coaster
Highlight: +1 Lowlight: More junk.
#3 Karst Cave Coaster
An indoor powered coaster with over the top lateral forces and a dinosaur to look at. Cool.
Shuttle loop cred – Spite! Would have quite liked to have given this a whirl. The ferris wheel was also closed. Ready to leave already?
#4 Giant Inverted Boomerang
Plot twist! The ride started testing at some point and then managed to get stuck partially up the lift. I sat and watched for a while to see how this would play out. After much nothingness, it lowered itself back into the station where parts in the vicinity of the wheels were treated to a bottle of lube. Asked the staff how it was going and was told they’d be ready in a few minutes. More than a few minutes later, after paying Winter Wonderland prices for a single extra ticket because of course I had got the quantities wrong earlier, I was sitting in the front row. Killed some time by demonstrating to other guests on how the restraints were supposed to be used while the staff went to buy more lube and then off it went.
The famously temperamental Vekoma creation was a lot better than it could have been. The layout is still a boring Boomerang, though scaled up and with vertical spikes. Hanging horizontally into the restraint, facing the floor on the lift hill was a little more unnerving than usual and overall it rode surprisingly smoothly. Highlight: Made the park worthwhile. Lowlight: What a tease.
Oriental Pearl Tower
It may not be the tallest, but Oriental Pearl Tower is the observation deck of choice in Shanghai, because it has a cred in it. The free museum underneath was mildly interesting as well.
Those ones look a bit taller, but they’re short of something else.
#5 Space Switchback
They’ve stuck Virtual Reality headsets on this indoor coaster and probably jacked the price up for it. 2 creds at London prices in one day? You used to be cool, China. The VR was bizarre, pretending you were on a coaster outside the tower rather than inside it. The imaginary coaster layout was that of a child’s scribble, which didn’t match much of the physical sensation from the ride and the default direction of facing didn’t line up with the direction of travel, or your head, at any time. Clever. Highlight: Instructions on the car. Lowlight: Rather have just ridden in the dark.
Joypolis
This was supposed to be the last cred stop of the day, but spite! Once again they couldn’t confirm or deny the simple question of is the rollercoaster running from outside the entrance, so we had to go in to find out that it had been closed for months (it has since gone for good). Burned a few hours ticking off all the simulator attractions mainly to justify the price of entry, but also to save doing them elsewhere in another of these branded arcades. The transformer ball one was somewhat fun, in an evil way, in that it could flip you onto your head while you were supposed to be shooting robots. The other highlight was a Sonic the Hedgehog themed dodgems ride, on which driving over projected images on the floor gave you points and a sense of competition in addition to senseless bumping.
I already had a reasonable plan for getting to the next park, but decided to get some local opinions for a laugh. Not a single person knew of its existence and the best answer we got was “I believe that’s an art gallery.”
Day 5 – Oriental Heritage Ningbo
So stuck to the original plan. A couple of faffy hours on a coach and a bus later, we landed at the entrance plaza.
The staff in their infinite impracticalness were unable to confirm or deny ride openings (a common theme for the next few days), but wove a tale about the weather and the fact that outdoor attractions will open if it gets to 15°C. The bus earlier that morning had said 14°C so there was a chance, I guess. I haven’t come all this way for nothing.
The park was having a spruce up for Chinese new year, including painting the floor and making it a pain to get around the first area.
The only other guests on this day comprised of a massive, massive tour group of old people from a more ‘rural area’, let’s say. I’m pretty tolerant in foreign lands when it comes to less than ideal attitudes from others, but these were some of the most offputting you could ever come across. While walking around the park in general, with tons of open space, I had more than one occasion of them just making a beeline for me and barging shoulders for the fun of it. In queues they would be smoking, shouting, pushing and shoving each other like an angry mob, not understanding the situation and then failing to achieve anything through this in terms of gaining time. On the rides they would just talk loudly amongst themselves, really just not caring at all about where they were and what they were doing, seemingly incapable of appreciating the day out. Pretty much all the rides that were open were running on time slots, so we couldn’t really avoid any of these encounters either.
Jungle Trailblazer – the Gravity Group woodie and main reason I came to the park, the Boomerang cred, the water rides and the flat rides never opened. With a bit of further quizzing, the ride staff impression seemed to be that the 15°C rule mentioned earlier is for park opening time and after that point they just give up for the day. Right…
#1 Night Rescue
One thing that was open was the indoor cred, a Golden Horse mine train clone in the dark with the screams of the damned as ambient noise throughout. Wasn’t overly impressed.
Jinshan Temple Showdown was amazing, but I’m not sure I was fully able to appreciate it with what was going on around us. The showdown in question is between ‘Lady Whitesnake (a lady that is cursed with the ability to turn into a white snake) and a demon hunter bloke who feels it’s his duty to hunt her down, without any willingness to learn her intentions or whether she is a threat to anyone. “A demon is a demon.” The story has a bit of a cliff hanger ending, which is rather refreshing for an attraction of this nature. The ride consists of a huge boat that drifts around intensely mesmerising scenery of a traditional Chinese water town, interspersed with endless projections and the occasional real life actor telling the story as you go along. At the end of the boat portion, everyone alights and enters a show room with standing areas amongst railings. The show is one big impressive set piece amongst which the actors return, water projections occur and many other water (and fire) effects go off, ending in a jaw dropping spectacle of flooding and fountains.
The indoor drop tower, The Plummet, was disappointingly weak. I didn’t think much of the use of the indoor aspect, and the hardware itself has that lame controlled feeling you get when a tower does both up and down motions, but doesn’t commit to either with any real force.
Tale of Nuwa is a Spiderman technology dark ride telling another Chinese tale through 4D screens and significant vehicle motion. There’s a hole in the sky and as the riders in the vehicle you’re helping out the creation god (Nuwa) retrieve and transport the key to fix the hole, but a big red bloke, a big blue bloke and a couple of dragons are out to stop you. Much fighting ensues. The car itself got a bit confused between scenes and became stuck a couple of times throughout, making the whole experience a little jarring on the whole.
Did their localised version of Disney’s Small World ride, which was empty, just for a quiet sit down. It wasn’t great.
Tried the History of Chinese Opera dark ride as well and regretted it deeply, as did some of the old people who literally got out of the moving vehicle and hobbled off before it had finished, with little to no reaction from the staff. Though it contained some more impressive scenery of ‘Oriental Heritage’, everything was taken at a snail’s pace and, coupled with the opera aspect becoming rather grating, it just wasn’t very dynamic or interesting.
And that was about it. I had high expectations for this place and ended up having little positive to say about the whole experience. The effort of getting here far outweighed the quality of the time spent at the park. The star attraction being down didn’t help of course, but in my mind it was meant to have some killer dark rides and shows that could have easily made up for that fact. Jinshan Temple Showdown was the obvious highlight, but otherwise, eh, just didn’t feel anything for the park at all.
The train from Nanchang to Ningbo was our first encounter with just how loud and tiresome local conversations can be, particularly between the older generations of the population. Another ~4 hour journey aross the vast expanse of the country felt incessantly plagued by everyone else shouting into their phones that were (unnecessarily) in speaker mode and generally yelling and faffing across several rows of seating throughout larger groups. I have since become rather immune to all of this and, like with the driving, can now see the entertainment value but it was particularly jarring in the early stages.
Day 4 – Romon-U Park
It might just be an unfortunate snapshot, but the quality of people and service definitely took a dive in this part of the country. Faced with another almost empty park, the staff here treated my presence as somewhat of an inconvenience to the point that it was just plain uncomfortable to take more than a couple of rides on a coaster. They had decided to abolish the cheaper late entry tickets that I had my eye on as of 1 week before my visit. That coupled with the entire outdoor section of the park being closed due to rain and/or maintenance made it a rather overpriced affair (most expensive park so far, fewest attractions).
#1 Euro Express
The presence of the star attraction stopped me from hating the place too much though. What a difference both a lap bar restraint and theming (and a lift hill instead of a weak launch) can make (take note everyone, everywhere) to the almost identical Kanonen layout that was rather uninteresting to me.
The interaction with the surrounding scenery is very intense with the near miss sensations and awe-inspiring aesthetic – it adds so much. I got lost for a good hour just taking bad pictures. The layout offers several moments of good airtime, through the first drop, top hat and some smaller pops between the corners and inversions. The loop is also taken at decent pace that provides a little weightlessness, rather than just feeling like filler. Highlight: Finally being able to appreciate the little hill before the loop, with a lap bar. Lowlight: Trim brakes on the other little hill.
Took a wander outside in the rain and got it confirmed by some bloke that the other cred, Dragon Legend, was closed for ‘maintenance’ rather than rain, which is better. I guess.
Another day, another haunted walkthrough. The one here was mostly amusing again, but one scene was very claustrophobic with body bags hanging from the ceiling and actually created some genuine fear. Can’t have that.
Really didn’t think there was much else worth riding except the tram for a few pictures. In fact, most of the time was spent just exploring every corner of every floor of the impressive looking indoor section and seeing what was and wasn’t on offer.
The park closing show was quite spectacular with water projections on this stage and millions of lasers filling the entire indoor area. It left me leaving the place reasonably happy, though still disappointed with the spite, the staff attitude and the overall lack of worthwhile attractions.
Our next destination was the city of Nanchang. I spoke of getting the lay of the land on the previous day and ended up going through a particulaly interesting bout of research to organise our stop here. The park itself is very new and several western brand ‘resort hotels’ had just begun springing up around it. As with the Guangzhou hotel, their pinpointing on the maps was somewhat misguided, though this time much less in their favour. The one I was most interested in, though it was named after the Wanda resort, had itself positioned right in the heart of the city and nowhere near the park, which I could tell from sattelite images of mud and rollercoaster track was situated well out to the south. After several email exchanges they eventually confirmed that they were on park, which is exactly where I wanted to be of course and the maps were updated accordingly. Consider that my contribution to the world for that year.
Day 3 – Nanchang Wanda Theme Park
So it felt like I moved the earth to get to this place and it was quite the experience for it. Encountered 2 people on the way up to the entrance. 1 trying to sell us ponchos, the other trying to sell cheap tickets. That was more people than there were inside the park. I’m no stranger to dead parks but this was in another league. Staff at each ride entrance were overly happy to see another human being and would regularly entice you to have a go on theirs.
Well, if you insist.
#1 Python In Bamboo Forest
What an animal. I’ve always enjoyed my GCIs but have never been blown away by them. Generally I preferred the smaller ones for their pacing and layout. Well no more. The signature relentlessness of this style of wooden coaster is cranked up to the max and the layout works ridiculously well. Other than the tall turnaround which from the size looks like it shouldn’t even work, the train feels like it just keeps finding speed out of nowhere and chucking you down another 50ft every few seconds. Some rides try to kill you and you love them for it. Some rides try to remove your clothes and you have no choice but to oblige. Some rides have you laughing uncontrollably out of sheer joy. This snake did all of that, morning and evening, in rain and in more rain. According to the staff, as they were getting all nervous, Mr Wanda himself (or just a park manager) rocked up at some point and rode this too while I was mid-marathon. Sadly he seemed unphased by my presence. Highlight: Standout ride of the trip. Lowlight: Can’t get a good picture of it.
#2 Coaster Through The Clouds
The Intamin hyper with the very strange lift and turnaround shaping was begging for some attention next. It was another very good ride and I enjoyed it a lot, but it wasn’t quite the game changer I was hoping for. You’d think they’d be able to nail a ride like this by now, 15 years after various legendary names came into play, but the layout still has its flaws.
The air time on the first and last hill, both of which pass through the supports and try to cut your hands off, was unearthly. I found the rest of the hills were somewhat underwhelming in comparison and there was a little too much meandering about, burning speed for my liking.
I don’t wish to do this creation a disservice though, it’s still amazing. The python across the park had set my sights on perfection, so I was being particularly fussy. I only ever experienced the ride in the front row with an empty train, in cold weather. From what I’ve learnt about many Intamins, given the right conditions and sitting in the back row, that monster of a first drop has the potential to be something really special to add to the whole sequence. I still currently consider this the strongest pair of coasters in any single park on the planet.
Highlight: Who doesn’t want an Intamin hyper all to themselves? Lowlight: First time I’ve felt my face wobble from speed and that ain’t a good sign.
#3 Soaring Dragon & Dancing Phoenix
The Beijing Shibaolai Amusement Equipment attempt at an SLC was a bit crap. It’s nice to try a new layout for once, but it doesn’t solve much over the originals in terms of how poorly they ride and the mediocrity of the coaster experience. Highlights: The station audio system was playing Kpop. Lowlights: Not being able to take comfort in the fact that someone else on the train would be suffering more than myself.
#4 Spinning Porcelain
A standard layout spinner, I believe Chinese manufactured. These things are unpleasant at best, but it is my duty to put up with them. Highlight: Love the porcelan look of the exterior of the cars. Lowlight: Loathe the interior of the cars with their unnecessary seatbelts.
The final Caterpillar cred – Spite! Legend tells us that it needs a full train of guests to operate. I’m so surprised I got everything else here. I really am.
The staff girl at the Roto-drop tower was particularly adorable, skipping along the queue with me and chatting away, purely from the excitement of having a customer for the day. It’s good to know that my presence brings such joy to others. The ride itself didn’t pack as much punch as I would have expected from its type. Maybe it was 40 people short.
Haunted Kiln walkthrough attraction didn’t disappoint. Does what it says on the tin and made me laugh many times. Success.
There is something quite magical about having all these big expensive toys to play with, but as the day wears on it does start to feel like something in the atmosphere is lacking. I’m extremely glad that (nearly) everything was all open, despite terrible weather and zero attendance and with the world class quality of the headline attractions here I look forward to experiencing what else Mr Wanda brings to the table.
Having made a name for themselves the previous day, this Chimelong was a bit of a step down in quality. The amusements definitely are the primary focus here and I’m sure it satisfies the locals as a well-equipped park with a highly thrill based orientation. It just hurts me personally that every cred here can also be experienced somewhere else in the world.
Day 2 – Chimelong Paradise
I remember a stupid online news article about this ‘deathtrap park in China with messed up rides you won’t believe’. It was this park and I probably shouted at the screen for their ignorance and clickbait, knowing every one of those rides existed elsewhere before this park did. (Nothing wrong with the place really, first-world problems).
#1 Dive Coaster
This big B&M couldn’t really fail to be good. Predictable and solid fun. The train was never full and I had good picks on various seats to make the most of it. The massive drop is great at kicking you out of your chair for a good few seconds and the intimidation factor to other riders at the top is always amusing. Highlight: The brakes before the second major drop didn’t slow the train at all, allowing it to throw itself into the sweet mist of the tunnel below in a powerful fashion. Lowlight: Sweet pollution at 200ft.
#2 Motorbike Launch Coaster
The Vekoma motocoaster couldn’t really fail to be bad. I just can’t get on with the seating position on these rides, as it makes for such mild discomfort the moment I climb aboard. Every hill and turn was filled with the thought ‘why?’ Highlight: Local guest glued to their phone choosing not to ride but unable to operate a rope that separates non-riders from the station. Took a quick glance up from the screen to stare at the rope with a look that said ‘I’m not even going to attempt to figure out how that one works.’ Lowlight: Mild discomfort.
#3 10 Inversion Coaster
This copy of the once record breaking Intamin looper rode worse than Colossus ever has, which is quite an achievement. Not offensively bad. Just shout throughout the layout, then laugh it off bad. Highlight: Local girl physically dragging her bloke along the queue to ride it against his will. Lowlight: My preferred seat for leg room and experience was closed off (front of the back car).
#4 Half Pipe
This was the first Intamin Halfpipe I had come across and I could have continued living happily without it. Every time it launches while you’re facing sideways you could make a false claim for whiplash. The band in front of it was interesting at least. Highlight: New experience. Lowlight: Unpleasant experience.
Mack youngstars are great for family coasters, the imaginitelvely named #5Young Star Coaster being no exception, and it’s a shame they’re so outnumbered by other inferior products. The ride is ridiculously smooth and actually gives you a few forces to think about as well. Highlight: Rat in the station. Lowlight: Rat in the station.
Alien Attack is one of those immersive tunnel jobs <insert ‘what Derren Brown’s Ghost Train could have been’ joke here>. Visually the experience was not as good as I thought it would be, is there any reason for the vehicle to have a roof? I couldn’t really get behind the story either – meet playful child aliens, their overprotective parents destroy your city and kill millions, then all is dismissed as a misunderstanding. The end. Something different I guess.
The Forest Temple walkthrough was fun. It had some impressive animatronic dragons and goblins among other things. I’m a sucker for a scare maze that doesn’t try too hard, where you can laugh in the face of fear. China is good at those.
We also caught a magic show and a stunt show here, which were both decent enough and managed to clear everything in a surprisingly short amount of time for a park of this scale.
That evening I learnt that many of the mid- to lower-end hotels bookale online in China take a lot of liberties with their advertised position on the map. The one I had booked that claimed to be near to Guangzhou South Station was in fact nowhere to be found (to this day, there still isn’t anything decent available around here – it’s a bit of a dead spot for the city). I have, since this episode, always booked a known brand and been particularly meticulous in my research as to whether or not places exist. Generally getting the lay of the land always helps for any unforeseen eventuality.
Our train for the next morning left stupidly early at around 05:00 so we definitely needed to be within walking or someone’s driving distance and after some worrying contemplation that even involved just staying inside the station all night and then sleeping on the train, we took the plunge at an info counter and went for one of their on the spot hotel offerings. An over enthusiastic minibus driver rocks up and leads us to the dark depths of the station underground where his transport awaits. My first true encounter with Chinese driving involved him animatedly chatting on the phone and smoking constantly, mostly not looking where he was going and taking a couple of shortcuts up the wrong sides of the road into oncoming traffic. I have since come to appreciate the entertainmet value. The hotel itself was barely passable, but sleep is important on these trips so it was probably the right decision. They allowed you to book the minibus back to the station at the time required for any train and the return journey was equally questionable, though the roads were much quieter.
After spending just a couple of days in China the previous January, I had become hooked on checking out what else this massive country had to offer. There has been a boom like no other for the theme park industry out here over the past decade or so, with larqe quantities of both parks and very impressive looking rides flying up at a rate of knots. It’s a fascinating country in which to experience new parks both as a bit of a road less travelled and the fact that they have a rather unique take on how to operate compared to the rest of the world, for better or worse (mostly worse as we’ll come to find out).
We flew into Guangzhou from Singapore and immediately took a high speed train down to Zhuhai, on the border with Macau. Trains are king in China, aside from driving being somewhat inaccessible to outsiders (and potentially suicidal if you were to try it in the cities), the almost incomprehensibly huge distances between cities (and parks) are consumed with relative ease by what I consider to be the greatest rail network in the world. The coverage of the trains is vast beyond belief, the journies unbelievably cheap and on more than one occasion they have set the record for the fastest I’ve ever travelled on land.
Outside the station there were a number of small tourist huts, one of which offered a dedicated coach to the first park of the trip.
Day 1 – Chimelong Ocean Kingdom
Hello beautiful.
This park exceeded my expectations as an overall package and was possibly the only park on the trip that had that ‘just nice to spend the day there’ atmosphere. It was incredibly relaxed and well run, with a satisfying selection of rides, animals and shows.
#1 Parrot Coaster
This very attractive B&M is the most accomplished wing rider I’ve graced so far. The theming and interaction is excellent and the layout is simple but fun sequence of elements. The straight first drop provides an unusually satisfying sensation of airtime that can usually never be found on these models, before the restraints tighten around your shoulders at the pull out and restrict any further chance of this occuring, as is always the case with any strong positive force on these. Highlight: Sluggish back row of the train in the first inversion provided a wonderfully floaty and sustained upside down moment. Lowlight: Sluggish inline twist is a bit of a lung crusher.
#2 Polar Explorer
Again this Mack looks great with the theming and floating by the real polar bears at the beginning is cool, but all in all it’s just a water coaster that fails to stir things up much. Not my favourite Polar Xplorer. Highlight: Realising it isn’t quite a cloned layout. Lowlight: Realising it might as well have been.
#3 Walrus Splash
The second Mack is a similar story in that it looks great and floating past the various animals on display at the beginning of the ride is cool. Aside from this it’s a bigger, more lumbering water coaster that fails to stir things up much. Highlight: Walrus Mountain theming. Lowlight: Better to look at than to ride.
Great name.
Did Sea Odyssey, which is an Omnimover dark ride that weaves in and out of screens that bounces between a narrative about a metal fish enduring some mild peril and some real life aquarium tubes. They also chucked in a big erupting volcano set with ceiling projections at the end. Not knowing at all what to expect, it was impressive and good fun.
The 5D theatre was a surprise hit as well. You never quite know what you’re getting with your Ds and often they can feel like a bit of a waste of time. This was the real deal however, with impressive visuals and effects. The story featured the park mascots and went through scenes based on the rides and areas in the park such as flying a parrot through a forest, venturing inside Walrus Mountain, riding the big ass whale on top of the aquarium and saving some penguins from evil Mr fire-breathing sea monster (he needs a ride next). Such a committed theme and I love the whole concept of a park taking pride in its attractions enough to use them into other forms of media.
The rest of the day was spent with many more flights on the parrot, alterating with a few animal shows and zoo exhibits at various points. They have a huge selection of animals and the scale of the main aquarium often makes the amusement aspect of the place seem secondary. The Beluga show stood out as particularly unusual when they invited guests to come up and let the creatures pop out of the water and kiss them somewhere around the face, after showing a video montage of many national celebrities receiving the same treatment. We stuck around until nightfall to watch the fountain show across the lake centrepiece of the park – always an enjoyable and slightly magical experience.
The huge screen over the entrance plaza is yet another awesome visual that this park has to offer. Chimelong Ocean Kingdom remains one of my favourite parks in the region, though I really hope they manage to pad out the ride lineup in future to make it even more formidable.
To cheer things up on our final part, I think it’s worth mentioning that something was off about the hotel here. Firstly, the staff had numbers rather than names. Secondly, this:
I was tempted to do some drugs after the last few days, but this sign was on the bed and proved effective enough in dissuading me.
Phoned Happy Valley at opening time to see if they’d fixed Fireball. They hadn’t. “I’m not ruling it out but… if you’re coming just to play that… don’t.”
Headed off into the city instead with no real plans.
Stumbled across some bonus culture while changing lines.
Stumbled across some tower blocks. I’m counting that as culture too.
Day 11 – Century Park
Got lost trying to find this place. Exit 4 or 6, not exit 5. Thanks RCDB.
#1 Roller Coaster
This baby is new this year. The whole ‘amusement area’ seemed to have had a bit of a refurb and there’s some coming soon signs above the ticket office. Hope they get a Powered Dragon to compliment the lineup. Or a Jungle Mouse. I can’t believe I still haven’t got a Jungle Mouse.
Some foreign business-type people joined us for a lap. They seemed somewhat embarassed standing there ticket in hand and it took us, powering up like professionals, for them to make that leap. They clearly didn’t understand the concept of creds as they lead with the question: “Have you ridden this before?” “No mate, +1.” Good to end on a high.
From there it was back on the disappointing Maglev to the airport.
This report may have seemed a bit doom and gloom at times, but I do love doing trips here. There’s so much good stuff that far outweighs the atrocities. They also make for great stories. I fully disregard the many hours of sufferance to get around, because as soon as I set foot in the entrance to the queue for that next big woodie or launchie there’s an unrivalled buzz of excitement. I can’t stop myself from running, skipping, staggering along internally screaming ‘Yes! I’ve actually made it!’ It’s the sense of adventure I guess. The payoff seems higher. I’m sure it’ll break me one day.
You can find a full map and summary of all the China trips on a single visa here.
