No. We spent the morning on Etna checking out the nearby craters and views. I wasn’t with adventurous enough company to do the trekking required (and pay the money) to make it to the top. I’ll save that for another time/place.
It ain’t no chicken on a bus, but goat on a volcano has a certain ring to it.
We then had other matters to attend to (creds) and headed back to the coast.
Travel tip for Italy: Their petrol stations have distinctions between rows that are either self pump or assisted so approach slowly and make a beeline for the one you want. The price difference between the two is laughably huge, like up to 50p more per litre (so you can easily spend another £20 per tank) just to have some bloke give you 10 seconds of his time. There’s probably a deeper meaning behind it like supporting people’s jobs or they’re trying to phase it out like the UAE, but I couldn’t believe the amount of cars I saw going for such a rough deal.
Spite! I really wanted this thing, just look at the face on RCDB.
But with Etnaland not opening during the daytime I guess it was inevitable that this place wasn’t going to bother either.
With that disappointment fresh in our minds, the ferry back to the mainland was in a word, disgusting. They don’t have enough space for a significant amount of cars to queue up on this side so it was spilling out into a major crossroads across tram lines and angry drivers, cyclists, pedestrians at all angles. You just had to be bold and become one with the chaos, fearing the insurance waiver as you went. It took over an hour for the queue to filter down and everyone was stewing in their air-conless cars at about 36 degrees by this stage. Local tempers were high, they were all doing stupid manoeuvres to try and cut in front of a couple of cars (to get on the same ferry). They were ignoring the staff trying to organise the loading and having shouting matches with anyone and anything. I’d like to leave please.
With that tragedy behind us, we hit the long road back up through southern Italy in search of another cred to satisfy our cravings.
The only feasible ones were all sitting around Naples so we got to see Vesuvius, our second volcano of the day.
Rides were harder to spot though. The first place we came to was a sketchy little kiddie fairground on a side street but the +1 appeared to no longer exist. Suspiciously it has since disappeared from coast2coaster as well. Double spite.
Day 2 – Liberty City Fun
We finally ended up at a place a bit more substantial.
#1 Drago
Should have been a +2 even.
But one of them was ‘under maintenance’. Triple spite.
I did admire their endorsements though. Particularly Woody with a gun.
Flew straight from Helsinki to Rome after the mini Taiga marathon.
Here’s an obscure one for you. We needed something fun to break the journey up on the way down to Sicily and I stumbled across this Alpine Coaster via Wiegand’s website. It doesn’t currently exist on any of our trusty databases, so it took some China levels of research to track down the actual place as the details are only as specific as the nearest town for some reason. I first found some local Italian newspaper reporting on the plan to install some thrill rides on top of a mountain, saying what a terrible idea it was and how it would harm the beauty of the area. This had one of those auto-play news videos that came up in the corner which showed a mob of angry Italians taking to the streets in protest. This looks fun. I then found the next related article which was people cutting the ribbon on the land for the area, including an interview with the owner which said they were going to put rides in soon, honest. Now it’s just confusing. Does the ride exist? Satellite images for 2019 would suggest it doesn’t. I did eventually find their actual website and we made it to the parking area halfway up a mountain with a little shed and a ticket window. The road to the top is closed off to traffic so you get a shuttle bus included in your wristband. And up we go.
Day 1 – Parco delle Stelle
Uncharted territory.
Bit of a dreamy location for a park. How long before someone starts working out where to fit an RMC Raptor.
#1 Via Lattea
Here’s the Alpine Coaster.
Unusually it starts at the top and lifts you back up at the end.
It might be the most intense one I’ve done so far. It’s very gravity driven and picks up a hell of a speed very quickly in some sections. The helices seem to be used just to pad things out and slow it down a bit before it tears itself apart. They don’t always feel the most structurally sound as rides.
The lift back up is very steep and rather uncomfortable though, so re-rides were ruled out on that front.
They also have this evil thing off the side of a cliff. I often say I’m really not a fan of being held upside down, but I couldn’t really skip this one. The views (particularly with the sky at your feet) were pretty unparalleled. It was also considered training for a certain ride at the other end of the country.
Didn’t do this. Saw that it required helmets and had horrible ideas that I’d probably do it wrong, flip over the side of a barrier at great speed and kill myself on some rocks. In reality, this guy got stuck before the corner because it was too slow. Needs work.
Did some wildlife watching instead.
These little fellows were everywhere.
Satisfied with that little adventure, we waited for the bus to take us back down to civilisation again.
Drove past some of this chaos on route. Wildfire… is… free… Yes it was very hot and very dry.
Then did some actual sailing on the ferry. Massive improvement over the Irish one which was the most boring thing in the world. They fill it at ten times the rate here and then pull away while the ramp is still coming up.
By the time you’ve clambered out of the car and gone upstairs for a wander they’re calling you back down again.
Sicily ain’t quite what I expected. It’s a bit more… ghetto than the rest of Italy. In fact I had to sign some waiver thing at the car hire place basically saying that any insurance and excess cover was null and void out here – and don’t park on the streets. Noted.
Etnaland
The car park for this place was pure comedy though, first time we’d seen that the Italians will just park anywhere and everywhere with no thought to organisation or rules. Some had literally just crashed bumper to bumper into each other and said that’ll do, heading off into the park. I joined in with the spirit of it all and found somewhere that wasn’t a designated space, parking at right angles to the rest of the surrounding cars. That’ll do lads!
If you’ve looked at a map before you’ve gotta be thinking this a long day right? So this place doesn’t open its doors to the main park until 7:30pm in the summer months and we had just arrived for that opening. It’s quite a novel experience.
The entrance area was a total nightmare. Gates weren’t yet open and neither were the ticket windows. Just a thousand shirtless people sweating and shouting in a large crowd. We did our best to line up moments before the windows opened and then instantly got queue jumped by 20-30 people who then each had extended familes of 20-30 people that would come and join them.
We eventually got what we wanted and headed in, just as darkness was descending. Sadly my camera is just no good in the dark, so we’re a bit limited on photos here.
#2 Storm
Storm was first on the agenda, our reason for being here. Actually we’ve been lied to. It’s clearly called Tstorm. Short for thunder or written by a northerner, take your pick.
It has a bit more of a station than I expected, and a rockin’ soundtrack. There’s amps and a drum kit inside and a song called Sweet Thunder Love playing on an endless loop (now available on iTunes they say).
There’s only 2 of these Mack ones in the world (set complete) and the other is a straight clone of the Intamins. I potentially wouldn’t have come here at all if this had been the same, but Tstorm does things with a twist.
The song continues on speakers up the lift hill and bam, that crazy megalite first drop airtime hits you. From the turnaround you get two big straight hills that kick some serious ass. Sadly the middle section is weak. It does some turns and the famous twisty hills from the original layout but they really don’t do much at all, the speed is way off. It ends on a final powerful little hill and then throws you into the secret inversion which was riding on par with Blue Fire’s for intensity, so a strong finish.
It left me in a bit of confusion. It’s harder to say whether it’s better than Alpina or not as at least it tries to be different but it has both stronger and weaker moments. It ain’t no Piraten though.
Let’s tick off the rest of the creds.
#3 Miao Coaster
Miao. The classic 2 loop with a cat on the front.
#4 Hip Hop Coaster
Hip Hop Coaster was a bit of a beast. Stupidly rattly for a thing of its size but it was the first time that this park really shone through for just how funny and happy the locals are to be here. They were loudly chanting the riff from Seven Nations Army throughout the second lap and then it ended to thunderous applause and cheering. For a Zamperla kid’s coaster. It was infectious.
And it continued here. Every single mine train that came back into the station had every passenger and everyone in the station just erupt into celebration. It was just joyous to behold and we joined in every time – even by the end of the night we were the ones initiating it.
For some reason this rare S&S ride type would have been ranked one of the worst coasters on the planet by Mitch Hawker back in the day. No idea why. It’s a cracking mine train with some really forceful turns, good tunnels and rock interaction. You can even walk inside the mountain all underneath it if you want to deafen yourself when a rowdy train comes past.
My boys Hafema have got a little log flume here called Dragon River which absolutely destroyed us with a couple of 10ft drops. Big animatronic Dragon chatting in Italian too. Loved it.
There’s a weird little interactive dark ride called The School on which you have to answer multiple choice questions (in Italian) at various points in the layout. It’s mainly a ghost train and bad things happen when you get stuff wrong. I believe we got it all wrong.
The big boy water ride also decided to open itself for the first time all day at 9:30pm. Surreal. It shouldn’t have been particularly special, but it slowly drifts out of the station into a cave at which point I failed to hold back a sneeze that echoed ridiculously loudly and scared everyone in the boat, which they loved of course.
It hits a turntable and elevator lift while vigorous tiki(?) drumming plays, to which we began excitedly tapping along on the lap bar, everyone else quickly joining in. The elevator hits the top and we look out over the drop. It inches forward. We start cheering and clapping. Everyone joins in. WAHEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! It wasn’t even wet. But it was magical.
I loved Etnaland. With an atmosphere like that it really set the bar high for Italian parks.
That night we slept halfway up a volcano, hoping for an eruption to add to our natural disaster spite collection.
There was time for one more park in the morning before the plane home. A humble affair in the middle of the city.
Hunan Martyr’s Park
Entertainment ground. That’s the one.
Spongebob x Nemo collab.
#1Jungle Flying Mouse
Jungle Mouse was the order of the day of course. It had a weird smoother track style and a much less vicious layout. A questionable modern perk.
And there used to be a looper here on this patch of grass. Spite.
The end.
Summary
New creds – 45 Total parks – 18 Dark rides – 26 Jungle Mouses – 8 Best coaster – Jungle Trailblazer (Nanning) Best not-a-clone coaster – Harpy Best park – Fantawild Asian Legend for the overall lineup. Honorable mentions to Colourful Yunnan Paradise and Oriental Heritage Changsha Distance travelled ~ 3313 Miles-ish Not counting things that haven’t opened at all yet (Xingdong and the S&S), Spites – 5/50 (10%)
Back where the trip began then, in Changsha, they’ve got this shiny new Fantawild resort.
With a second gate on the way? From the décor it looks like they’re going backwards and doing an Adventure next. I hope it’s an upgraded version. I do like it when they do something new, as we’re about to find out, again.
Day 13 – Oriental Heritage Changsha
Having being put back in a cynical mood, I wasn’t expecting the coasters to be open for another 6 hours after the park, if at all due to the cold. So the first thing we ended up on was…
Another flying theatre called Let’s Fly! Yes! It was alright, I think.
In poor taste it did have this picture in the queue of that stupid Vekoma Stingray that spited me twice before being demolished.
On to better things, the area for Celestial Gauntlet looks amazing. I’ll be doing lots of visuals as I go along for this park as I really think they’ve outdone themselves this time. Normally the ‘thrill ride’ areas with a Woodie and bog standard water rides are very plain and often lazy by their standards.
#1 Celestial Gauntlet
To my surprise it was already open and they were just waiting for someone to ride it. Go on then.
I liked the look of this thing, other than the vests. Ride without prejudice.
And it didn’t disappoint overall. The lift hill provides some unusual audio of people screaming as you approach the summit. The drop gives you the briefest moment of ‘wahey I’m out of the seat, oh no I’m not.’
The hang in the inversion is insane. I love how all these modern rides are managing to pull off sensations like this now. Loops used to be so boring.
Everything else in the layout is about a third of the height of the first element so it hauls its way through a bunch of hills and a couple more inversions with a varying degree of pleasure – some of them actually are good and some of them just look good while not really doing anything to you.
Tunnels at the end provide some great interaction.
It’s a cool ride. Nothing game changing. Very fun and re-rideable, but to me not quite worthy of being the stand out attraction at a park. It should be a secondary compliment. To a Jungle Trailblazer. With a new layout.
From there, we unknowingly wandered into one of the standouts of the whole trip. I had something written down on my bit of paper for the day saying ‘new dark ride?! – rocks and vines out front’ and didn’t even notice this was that until afterwards.
The queue went on forever and just kept getting more and more insane, to the point where I was beginning to think it was the attraction and there was no ride at the end.
Particularly when you end up in this room looking like an art gallery with this big ancient scroll on display. So, it’s just a museum?
No, keep going.
It’s a trackless dark ride. Oh yes.
It’s called Magic Gallery or perhaps better, Magic Brush. It follows this boy who can turn into a brush and then bring to life the contents of any drawings or paintings. He takes you on a bit of an adventure.
The ride is really, really long and packed full of intimate detail. Stuff of proper wonderment and awe as you go round. What real dark rides are made of.
The smells are back and more amazing than ever. You end up inside a physical set of a rotting ship at one point and it smells just like the Mary Rose museum. Then a massive flood effect happens while a dragon is playing hide and seek with you.
You learn some history along the way, you meet a sexy water Goddess with her Kirin-drawn chariot, then it smells like the nicest soap ever, you go behind a curtain and he’s found that giant scroll painting from the gallery in the queue and it comes to life and you fly around and it’s all magical and ahhhhhhhhhh. So much to take in. So much charm.
I get back to the station in the midst of re-contemplating my life, like you get on the brake run of a new top 10 coaster. The ride host walks over with two cups of tea for us as we get off. I can’t describe how happy this makes me. It’s the simple things.
Stuff like that just doesn’t happen and yet here we are.
So we’ve got a potential Jinshan beater on our hands here. I’m tempted to give it the edge as it’s much more of a ‘ride’ and therefore better paced, without reliance on a show. The ONE criticism I do have is that because it was running so few vehicles (no capacity required), you often got a bit ahead of the scenes and you’d have to swivel and crane to catch all of it.
Here’s one of those water rides that looks anything but plain. Sadly all closed for the weather.
A show was starting here soon.
#2 Puppy Coaster
The puppy was round the corner to fill the time.
Entrance area to the show.
No big deal.
In a similar vein to Magic Brush the story was about reawakening a famous lady who was mummified in a tomb, along with all the creatures in that flag, but this time it was done with science rather than magic. The characters came to life, portrayed by actors, some conversations and traditional dance happened. I don’t know what black magic was going on here. The techonology of the Butterfly Lovers show I described at the start of the trip with the translucent projection screens around a stage was cranked up to the max. They described it as augmented reality and you couldn’t see a screen at all in front of the single big stage but projections appeared out of thin air, completely covering up the action when required. This was complimented by a huge screen behind the stage as well. Sometimes they used that lying on the floor of the trick with more projections and a giant mirror to make it look like people were flying and it was overall pretty epic.
Same closed for winter story with the rapids, but wow.
Legend of Nuwa has had an upgraded entrance façade since the other parks as well. She’s much bigger and more detailed and the fighting blokes aren’t normally there.
In fact the whole package felt like a Legend of Nuwa 1.1 to me. I may be suppressing things but it felt like there were a couple more details thrown in. Most importantly it was running with a ton more ferocity. Properly vicious movements from the car that make you concerned for your safety. Do they weaken over time or do they just make them better now?
They’ve got another cool show here that I’ve seen before – Legend of Lady Meng Jiang, that contains a brick version of the bubble ballet amongst other things. Good lineup.
And something else that stands out to me about this park is how each attraction has much more of it’s own dedicated themed area. Often they can look amazing out front, but where they are is a bit plonked amongst everything else.
#3 Big Top
Not quite as pretty, but it’s in the kids area themed to Boonie Bear at the circus.
I like the Orkanen layout. The opening drop and turn are really good and it’s generally much less meandering than the smaller models.
They had the most relaxed staff in China here. You could just walk in and sit on the train at any time without any of the usual batching nonsense. Or even have a nose around the operator’s box because they’d just disappear down the queue for a chat while people were taking their seats. And it’s one of very few rides in China, if any, that I’ve been allowed to keep my glasses on. A nation that doesn’t like them on gentle flat rides.
Maybe it is pretty after all.
Maybe I’ve just got a thing for reflections now.
I hadn’t done this drop tower ride, The Plummet for about 3 years, back in my first Fantawild where I despised the place. Maybe that gave me a bad impression of it.
Nah, it still sucks. So much wasted potential. It has that horrible controlled sensation all the way up and all the way down. It has doors at the top that make it look like it’s trying to be Tower of Terror. But it doesn’t do anything. It has screens in the middle that make it look like it’s going to do something cool. But it doesn’t do anything. Very slowly drifts past a snake on them at the end of the ride cycle while the hardware hisses loudly. Staff were friendly though, sneaking me up the exit path just before the sequence was about to start. High chance it was time slotted
I’ve managed to put the Marvels of Chinese Culture off at about 10 parks previously. Finally gave it a go on this day. Expected a lengthy 3D cinema that wasn’t particularly interesting, but actually got a brief and graphic history of all the different Chinese dynasties and the various wars involved.
From other reports I’m not sure if these are all the same now, even if the names are. It was decent enough.
This was amazing. Another boat ride with a new theme, River of Tales is all about 4 letter Chinese idioms or ‘Chengyu’, represented by scenes.
Rerides until satisfied then, followed by a slight sadness on departure.
Really, really liked this place. I thought I would be done after the Asian Legend park on this trip but even after so much fatigue I fell in love with Fantawild all over again here. They’re now by far my favourite chain in the country – and it’s taken them long enough. Ningbo was clearly an anomaly and I’ll take the Adventure parks as a learning process for them to develop their rides further. This is a spectacular example of that process continuing.
I shall now follow their future with greater interest than ever. Sunac can suck it.
I can’t maintain the poorly held suspense about Dueling Dragons any longer.
The weekend arrived. I went hunting on the website to find specific ride opening times rather than risk turning up several hours too early for the dragons again. 10:30 you say? Time for a revisit.
Day 12 – Guangzhou Sunac Land again
Of course they weren’t sticking to it. Got to the entrance of the ride. 12:00 opening. Sat on a bench for an hour, depressingly noticing that the amount of people in the park was exactly the same as it had been on the Wednesday.
They tested both sides separately, exactly as they had on the Wednesday. I stood and watched the staff activity in the station intently. They were up in the red station, wiping down the railings and the baggage holders. Making it presentable? Then they put a rope across the stairs and went back down to the green one.
The green one opened. Asked about the red one today? Nope. Not happening. “Maintenance?” “Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… yeah… let’s say that.”
The girl that had promised me it would open at the weekend wasn’t in guest services for another chat. The rest of them didn’t care. “Ride the green one – it’s better.” So I left.
Have some pictures of the poxy thing running empty if you want.
‘Erections strictly prohibited’ is so very true.
Decided to go up the Canton Tower after seeing it the other day.
The attractive look it has on the outside is a bit of a design flaw on the inside when it comes to being an observation deck. All that twisted cladding just blocks the views.
They have some engineering stuff on show on one of the floors.
A graph. Erections no longer prohibited.
Perhaps the building design was a money making scheme all along, as the only way you can get an unobstructed view is to pay an extra 20 quid to ride the silly bubble thing on the roof.
What’s in the mystery door?
I went up for the Intamin drop tower though. ‘Highest thrill ride in the world’. I’ll take that claim for the collection.
As a piece of hardware it ain’t much. Not as tall as I expected, hardly leaves you in suspense at the top at all and a slightly punchy drop. Something about just looking down to the ground over the edge of the building and appreciating the sheer height you are at while on it though. That was a pretty special feeling. Would recommend.
It was a train back to Changsha after that, completing the round trip. One more major park to come and finish things on a high and I’m getting excited again just remembering it. I do love this hobby really.
When I say actual park, I use the term loosely. I skipped this place 3 years ago because well… it has nothing going for it. Just a highly concentrated cred run.
But here I am, stuck in Guangzhou with nothing better to do.
Day 11 – Chuanlord Holiday Manor
They chuck about 10 tickets at you for entry to this place that included some ice exhibit and some animal exhibit that I didn’t want. What I did want was the cashless ride card on which you get about 4 times what you pay to get in and far more than you’ll ever actually need.
Warning: quality of my pictures matches quality of the park.
#1 Spinning Surfboat
First thing I came across was this spinning yacht device . First time I’ve managed to get on one. It’s a joke of a ride, consisting of an oval with a kicker wheel.
#2 Sliding Dragon
Mmm. Powered Dragon. Something you may notice here is that all the rides are painted in the same colours. I’m not just posting the same picture 8 times and inflating my coaster count, honest.
#3 Jungle Squirrels
Best ride of the day right here. It had a slightly unconventional layout for a Jungle Mouse including a couple of moments of surprise airtime.
This area is where the park got tricky. They have a minimum number of riders they require to operate some of their rides.
And as usual, the park was heaving.
So I got warmly greeted by a ride host and told to wait in this area for some more people (after being verified that I was under 1.8m, relief). Notice the scales as well. Between 40kg and 75kg. There’s a very narrow band of criteria here.
A good half hour went by and eventually some blokes turned up and spent an age faffing about with whether they wanted to or not before several of them got declined anyway for weight reasons (while wearing rucksacks and carrying shopping bags, no doubt with chickens inside). I’m still holding out for the day I caption ‘chicken on a rollercoaster.’
#4 Longfeng Roller Coaster
I didn’t even want to ride the bastard. It was horrible. I laugh in the face of Intrimidator 305 and honestly the closest I’ve ever come to blacking out on a ride was on this thing. The sustained force throughout the whole of the double loop was pure disgust. Why?
#5 Self-Spinning Pulley
The spinner took tactics as it needed at least 3 people per car. Got flatly refused the first time, then in passing later I saw 4 girls walk up to it and start the usual collective fuss about whether they would ride or not. I sprinted up to join them. One of them decided against it. A swift nod from the operator. I’m in. They lost their minds on it. I didn’t.
#6 Shenzou Surfing
Talking of losing their minds, I made a new friend on this one, stealing her from her husband while they were having an argument in the queue about riding it. It was dumb and rough for what it was, but I’ve never quite seen a reaction like this from someone on any ride – full on panic attack. Well maybe Kitt SuperJet. And the Taron queueline. This needed 2 people and it took me an age to get 1 of them, so I didn’t bother with the farcical matter of attempting all 4 ‘tracks’.
#7 Jungle Pulley
Was beginning to worry that this one didn’t exist. Couldn’t find that final cred anywhere on the park map. It was craftily hidden under a roof. It spins, really viciously, once.
#8 Magic Ring Vertical Coaster
I was subconsciously putting this thing off. It turns out I didn’t actually need to because I spent well over an hour in the same scenario as earlier, sitting outside it waiting for other guests to justify the running of the ride to the staff. They said they needed 4, but then settled for two children plus myself and forced me into the front row.
I thought I hated these before but now just sitting here recalling the ride experience again is making me feel ill. Time stopped in the upside down bit. I hate that soooooooo much. I simply can’t deal with it. But there’s nothing I can do. It felt like something gave way in my head and for the briefest of moments I was alright again. And now I’m worried what that sensation signified. Positive thinking – it was smoother than the one in Finland.
Jumped on the wheel because I had tons of credit left and didn’t want to reride anything in the slightest.
Regretted it immediately because it was creaky and dirty. Couldn’t get through the holes properly for pictures either.
Spent too long waiting for an operator to show up for this thing. The cheapest of cheap shooting dark ride hardware, but not a shooting dark ride. Just a ride through some caves and animals in the dark. It was actually really claustrophobic and I guess kinda cool, in an unintentional sort of way.
I then wanted to leave rather abruptly but Didi decided otherwise. In the first instance of it letting me down it said my car was there, but it wasn’t, then got stuck for 15 minutes not letting me cancel or rebook until, I guess, he cancelled at the other end. In my impatience I got guest services to taxi me up instead, the driver of which then attempted to rip me off at the toll booth, reminding me why Didi is still so superior. He was mumbling to himself as he drove off, disappointed that he failed to fool ol’ ghost face.
Well that was cheerful. Don’t worry, it gets better.
To save extra (potentially wasted) journeys, the two spare days I had at the weekend were reallocated to extra time down here. Hotels were extended and shortened and the train back to Changsha was postponed. One of those spare days was provisionally another day trip to Wuhan – had a couple of spites there last time involving a different set of duelling dragons but the ones down here were a different ride experience at least – higher priority right? Wuhan was also where the initial outbreak of this virus took place and it was already flooding the regional news so depending on your scepticism could have been a bullet dodged there too. (Epidemic – does that count towards my natural disaster spite collection?) The other spare day was provisionally another day trip to Nanchang but the way Sunac was currently treating me that could have ended horribly as well, souring my previous experience with the park by running it terribly and leaving me coming away from the trip with more damage than improvement to my favourite rides. No big loss in retrospect, but it did feel like a waste of potential at the time.
Quite often in China the city zoos will have a small amusement section.
#2 Little Worm Train
Wow. Look at that unique layout.
#3 Forest Flying Mouse
This one not so much.
Aww, pandas.
What you can’t see here is a sign every 12 inches saying do not bang the glass, then as everyone has blatantly been ignoring those signs, crowd control barriers physically keeping you away from the glass.
Always been more of a red panda man myself. Can I take one of these home?
Next?
South China Botanical Garden
In fact almost any outdoor attraction in a city is likely to have something for me in it.
Are we sure about this one?
Go on, take a closer look.
#4 Jungle Flying Squirrel
Fear not. The tranquility of the Botanical Garden has been broken by some ugly amusements.
Sadly this one was ‘maintenance.’ From what I saw, I’d say it’s beyond help.
Like Shanghai, I always underestimate how stupidly huge the city of Guangzhou is. What I thought was a decently located hotel between the south railway station (the only practically usable station out of 4 in the city – ridiculously overcrowded, a total pain in the arse and miles from anywhere) turned out to be a 2 hour journey from the park I was here for. And that was without the random traffic jam that cost another half an hour within spitting distance of the park (should have got out and walked at that point, but couldn’t be sure).
The only entertainment on route was this. I love the idea of someone ‘beating’ the glass, most likely in frustation.
So turned up frustrated and late to
Day 9 – Guangzhou Sunac Land
Entrance is a bit more garish than the others. For some reason, like it was fated, we asked whether all the rollercoasters were open today – hadn’t really been bothering this trip because it’s usually a waste of breath. The answer though – yes.
Let’s start with the ticketing system here. China is obsessed with making payments via apps with QR codes these days and it’s frustrating to behold. Everywhere you go there will be someone stuck at the front of a queue for a convenience store counter, standing in front of the ticket gate for a metro or holding up the awfully slow queues for high speed rail tickets in the way of everyone else, head down fumbling with their phone because for any number of reasons they’re struggling to make it work. If it doesn’t work when they scan it, they never have any backup method to pay so just begin a shouting match with the staff who obviously can’t do anything about it.
The park has decided to roll with this system and operates a pay per ride as an alternative to getting an unlimited ticket at the entrance gate. This confuses everyone because they all turn up to the front of a queue to then have a shouting match with the member of staff who is supposed to be batching for the ride about their eligibility to ride something. “I thought it was free.” “No use the app.” “Why can’t my children go on?” “No use the app.” “That’s going to cost me 4x X, I don’t wanna pay that much.” “Use the app for your children and then push past everyone else to get out of the queue then.” Every time.
If you get an unlimited ticket they do a Fuji Q and use facial recognition on screens to let you into each ride, but the initial setup of this isn’t upon entrance to the park, it’s upon batching of your first ride, only adding to the faff each time someone comes to start using it and doesn’t understand (or it doesn’t work).
So a queue of 5 people can easily turn into a 10 minute ordeal. And this is what greeted us at the first ride.
#1 Garden Fantasy
Which was this thing. I wasn’t a fan of Arthur to be honest. It was a cool idea, but poorly executed. Compared to this it’s a masterpiece. If you’re in the back of the 3 car train, you miss all the screen based scenes and just catch the characters as they’re literally walking off screen to the next one. Every single time. Like it’s a joke.
The outdoor section looks crap.
I’ve seen pictures showing that the ride has the ability to produce tons of fog effects. This is already broken.
And their equivalent of the really majestic part of these ride systems where you go swooping out over a big public area, triumphant music playing? It goes over this.
A frog hopper.
Here we are then. All the lateness from earlier didn’t matter of course because they didn’t open this until 3 hours after the park. Sat down to wait.
#2 Dueling Dragons (Invert)
Watched them test both sides seperately. We’re in.
Got to the station behind 2 kids and their parents. 10 minute ordeal with ticketing. The green side was open and ready to roll. Got to the airgates. Another 10 minutes of waiting for who knows what. Sat down in the ride. Another 10 minutes of waiting before they do the restraints.
It was really good overall. Definitely some interesting sensations in there. The launch is surprisingly un-punchy but the amount of time spent upside down in the loop feels off the charts.
It has some great forceful turns, the inversions are cool. A couple of attempted airtime moments that it’s nice to see, but don’t quite pay off. And it leaves you feeling a bit short at the end. Like it’s yellow soaring brother. The potential for something truly special but doesn’t quite pull it off.
Coaster-wise this was my main draw of the whole trip really. I held off from this area until it was open. It looks so badass. So I was a little disappointed already. I wasn’t expecting a duelling ride by any stretch of the imagination, but have faith in Wanda/Sunac – I’ll get both sides separately. It’s already been reported that they alternate between the two when it’s quiet. Had a quick chat with the staff at the entrance about that, see if they knew roughly when. But they didn’t understand the concept of that at all. “It’s the green one now and you get what you get when you get there.” Most of the staff don’t usually know what they’re talking about, I’ll come back later.
This show was round the corner. It was mildly entertaining, if a bit more child-orientated. (The whole park seemed to be really. Spent most of my time sharing the rides, even the big coaster, with 10 year olds).
It had a couple of decent magic tricks, a bit of dance, slapstick. And it’s namesake dog in a crude costume alternating between walking on two legs and all fours in amusing fashion.
This one seems to be trying a bit too hard. That’s not just translation. It’s self-aware.
#3 Crazy Waves
Didn’t know what this was, but I think it appeared on RCDB as a water coaster-ish ride a couple of months after the rest of the park opened. The ride sign does actually say ‘the dual combination of drifting and roller coaster’.
Thought I’d judge it for myself. Got a free thin poncho, which was cool. Got stuck behind 2 people at the front of the queue for 5 minutes…
Anyway, it has an extensive indoor section. Drifts around some jungle stuff, enters a stormy cave with both wind and rain effect in your face and while that’s happening to you, up an elevator lift. Does the backwards coaster section of your Atlantica Supersplashes. Drifts around some crystals and a volcano before a…
Big drop finale. It looks very Tidal Wave and does the same thing where the water hits your legs a good 5 seconds after touchdown. My poncho had ridden up in the wind so I got stupidly wet knees and nothing more.
Storm Surge! Sums up the park really. It had been about 3 hours since the dragon opened, so headed over for another look to see if they were thinking about swapping over yet. Still the green side. The maintenance card gets played. Right.
It was billed to be open for 7 hours in total that day, so we’ll give them a while longer.
A parade happened. I would have felt a little sad for them like Xishuangbanna in the fact that it’s all fenced off for them to perform, dance and wave on both sides of their path but it was quiet enough for one side to be completely empty and often they would stand still waving to nothingness.
Jumped on the wheel to watch intently.
Don’t know what this was other than closed.
Another flying theatre. Fast becoming the Jungle Mouse of the dark ride world. The video takes you round Guangdong province and basically it ain’t as good as Yunnan province.
The day started to ebb away.
So went to guests services for a chat. Usual rubbish in that there is no actual answer, just a long string of meaningless excuses including: “Maintenance.” “They only open the red one if they get enough footfall.” “The green one is more thrilling, so you don’t need the red one.”
Being in this silly hobby, those last words hurt. I know it doesn’t affect anyone else in the world but even though they’re different ride experiences and they are here actually acknowledging them as such, they treat it as a single attraction and if you’ve done one track, you’ve done Dueling Dragons, what’s your problem?
I think I was 10x more wound up by it all by having the knowledge that they used to do the sensible thing and run both alternately on a quiet day, but only 6 months into the operation of the park they’ve already decided themselves that it’s a wasted effort. I should have gone in blind.
Anyway, the footfall excuse caught my attention, foolishly . There were a couple of spare days in the trip allocated for instances such as this so asked whether it would be open in the next few, including the coming weekend. I’ve done a weekend at a Wanda before, it was really busy (and this city is stupidly busy) but they were coping really well and became the only park in China I’ve seen outside Disney to run 2 trains on a major rollercoaster. The word weekend then caught their attention. “Yes. The red one WILL open at the weekend.” “Ok then, I’ll hold you to that.”
Last ride of the day was this Octopus simulator thing that wasn’t any good. It was obnoxiously following a couple of octopi around a cruise liner while they bounced from danger to danger screaming oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh continuously and I was just done by then. Spent the whole time replanning the rest of the trip in my head to make sure I could come back and get that other dragon.
Oh I’ve experienced a Typhoon. They ran more rides in it than you do.
So here’s something I was properly excited for. I already miss the time when Fantawild parks were a new experience. The magic of trying out all the new rides they had to offer. (Yes I’m still going to be moaning about clones again today).
Day 8 – Fantawild Asian Legend
Rather than being themed to Chinese history and legends, this park represents the countries of South East Asia, each with their own impressive architecture and ride or experience.
First interaction I think I’ve ever had upon entering a park like this involved some blokes trying to rope you into one of those ‘take your picture, get a free key chain!’ deals that waste a lot of your time before revealing that it isn’t free, you have to buy something and you feel under the pressure of the moment you may as well go for it.
This was dismissed with a wave of the hand. No time for that – rides.
Being bored of flying theatres at that particular moment and as it appeared to break the mould of the country theme, decided to skip past the first ride on the left and start in the Phillipines.
There was time of course. First ride. Time Slot. Half an hour. Now we have to ride with other people. When you’ve had a few days worth of completely free runs of parks, this can be quite jarring.
Manila Manila is a 3D cinema with a rotating platform of seats, many screens and most interestingly some interchangeable scenery which pops up and down when you’re not looking, based on what’s going on around you at the time.
It’s generally just a good time with fun visuals and music – the singing manatee sequence really brings the party to life. Strong start.
We were very intrigued about the Singapore ride. Armed with more local knowledge than the park we were ready to pick the hell out of it. It wasn’t difficult.
Finding the Merlion was potentially the weakest ride of the day – being a small 8 person simulator in front of a screen, with an awkwardly cramped waiting room experience (other people again) that has the safety rules played 5 times over for good measure. Once on the ride, you’re following our old Fantawild pal Boonie Bear who is parachuting into the country. Mischievous escapades and crashing through a ton of buildings follows. Halfway through they just run out of Singapore things to show and you end up in something that looks like a game of Sugar Rush from Wreck It Ralph. You find the Merlion. He’s better in real life.
#1 Stress Express
There’s a gap in the theme after that, with a fantasy children’s area containing a Vekoma Boomerang. Hey, at least it’s not blue.
I got stuck in the empty queue for 10 minutes not knowing if they were running or not, until my saviour appeared, something you never really see in China, a friendly park guest on his own (they’re never alone) who spoke a little English. He was bold enough to just shout up at the station and then told me to follow him up there. I did and the staff were just milling around ignoring us basically. We sat in the front, sadly. In a human equivalent of all these signs we keep laughing about, he turned to me and in trying to say ‘are you scared?’ it came out as “do you feel the fear?” Which is better in my opinion. “No, not really.” was my response.
The experience was made even better in that he said “my head hurts” when it was over. “Yes, they’ll do that.”
While he got lost in the delights of the remaining children’s rides, my lust for creds had suddenly been reawakened, so surged through a large portion of the park and headed out to the woodie.
Of course it ain’t ready yet, come back at 11.
Ended up in Vietnam from there. Ha Long Bay in fact. Skipping past a bunch of the park had worked in our favour as well, with not another guest in sight.
There’s this ride in the Oriental Heritage parks about the history of Chinese Opera. It looks cool, has these huge trackless vehicles. But I didn’t like it. It’s immensely boring, keeps stopping, feels like it’s sucking the time out of your day and at the time of riding it was full of old guests shouting at each other, ignoring their surrounding and behaving like a pack of animals.
Meeting in Ha Long Bay fixed absolutely everything about that and was gorgeous. Nice story, great scenery. Even the smells – there’s a lively city/nightlife section and you can smell the food, it’s just spot on as a ride experience.
Went back to the Woodie at 11, it aint ready yet, come back at 11:30.
Which meant we’d just missed an 11 time slot for one of the other bigger rides. Spite.
Try Brunei then. Their Small World-boat ride system with theming based on the rainforests and Mosque (singular) of the country.
Nice theme, good scenery. Another step up from their other iterations of this thing.
Third time lucky, they’re letting me wait for the Woodie.
#2 Jungle Trailblazer (Nanning)
So here I am, sitting at the foot of a clone of my 3rd favourite ride in the whole world. And it’s a bit of a crisis. I should be excited right? If it was the original I would be. It’ll be amazing, I’ll rekindle my love with it. But another one? I’m nervous.
The call comes. It’s already not the same, there’s people smoking in the queue. They sit in the middle of the train, but they aren’t intimidated by the staff description of the ride, which doesn’t happen. The seatbelts don’t come out of the same place! I sit in my favourite seat at the back. I get the perfectly framed view of the drop. A slight tingle. But I’m not timidly told to hold on to the restraint. And at this level, that stuff matters.
Alright, it was still amazing. No, it didn’t quite live up to the original for whatever reason but it’s still clearly my perfect wooden coaster package and it only got better as the day went on.
The vicious, vicious multi-directional ejector on the non-straight first drop. The stupidly placed, most effective speed hill on the planet. Take note RMC, Intamin, B&M, even Gravity couldn’t pull it off again in Xiamen. That’s how you do one of them.
The aggressive whip in and wrench out of the first 90 degree hill. The perfectly contrasted flop in the second 90 degree hill. Sideways hangtime. The most continuous and effective sequence of back to back wild, twisty, shouty, bumpy, ejecty hills on and on and on ‘til the brakes. Everything I love about Gravity summed up in one ride. The only sacrifice is that it’s a bit shorter than the others, but it uses it oh so well.
So part of the crisis remains. And a serious question to readers now. Have you ever ridden a clone of a ride that holds a significant standing in your top coasters list and what did you do about it?
As far as I can see, there’s three possible outcomes and two things you can do with each:
A. It’s better 1. Place it above the other one in your list – I don’t like the idea of one layout using up 2 precious slots, but objectively the original one should remain better than everything else you had below it. 2. Place it where the other one was in your list and relegate that to just outside the numbered list – feels harsh, but the cleaner option. The original one was only better than all those other rides when it was unique, now it’s a cop out ride.
B. It’s exactly the same 1. Place it the same as the other, have them joint – I don’t like the idea of rides losing identity this way, it just feels awkward to say something like ‘My top ten coasters are: Number 5 – The Megalites’ I already take issue with things having the same name and having to specify which one in the world you mean, it just feels awkward to say something like ‘My top ten coasters are: Number 5 – Goliath, the one at Six Flags Great America’ So put that all together and end up with ‘My top ten coasters are: Number 5 – One of the Jungle Trailblazer layouts, the one found at both Fantawild Dreamland Zhengzhou and Fantawild Asian Legend Nanning’ And then you feel silly. 2. Pick one that has the slightest circumstantial edge to represent and relegate the other one to just outside the numbered list – feels harsh, but the cleaner option.
C. It’s worse 1. Place it below the other one in your list – I don’t like the idea of one layout using up 2 precious slots, with the added difficulty of saying how many other things it’s still better than, even though it’s not as good as the first one. 2. Relegate it to just outside the numbered list – feels harsh, but the cleaner option. The original remains better, this one isn’t unique, it’s just a cop out ride.
I am yet to find another opinion on this, as the answer is inevitably either ‘no’ or the conversation ends up steerting towards ‘because the people in Zhengzhou don’t go to Nanning your opinion doesn’t matter.’
Where was I?
Hero of Malacca’s next time slot had opened up. This had big shoes to fill, being a fresh version of Jinshan Temple Showdown.
The queue is even more immensely themed and has a pre-show, introducing you to one of the two pirate clans from the story. As you take your seat on the giant boat, some action is going on screens in the surroundings, keeping it all a little more engaging. And I found this to be true for the whole ride portion. There’s a couple more stand-out scenes including a giant ship shooting at you with geysers going off and a stormy wind tunnel section while Krake attacks you.
The end show however is a little less spectacular. You reach the other pirate clan’s base out in the middle of the sea. Without the magical powers aspect of the story – flying snakes and priests, they don’t have use for the water projection action sequence, it’s just a couple of pirate blokes shouting at each other. Eventually Krake attacks the base, both clans die and you get the same amazing flood sequence to finish. So I’d put them on par really. Both one of the best in the world.
Puppy Coaster was now open, in the shadows of the beast. Give the kids something to aim for.
#3 Puppy Coaster
The last of the creds here. Very cute. Watching his tail while it does the Wacky portion of the layout is amusing.
I’ll do one of my shout outs to the visuals in this place now because it really was lovely. Lots of care and attention into the upkeep was clearly visible as well, which is rare to see around parks in this country.
They were jet washing the plaza areas around certain rides.
They were actively cleaning the intricate facades of several attractions with wet rags on sticks.
They were painting all these service gates to make them blend into the areas nicer. Top marks for effort.
There was a singular show that day called Dancing Islands. I believe they had a similar thing at Wuhu under the name Bubble Ballet, but it spited me twice.
It involved a lot of fancy dancing and stunts in it. Then these magic balls on wires made all sorts of cool shapes, eventually with the performers coming out and dodging them with an amazing display of timing.
Aside from the costumes and stuff, to make it Indonesia, it had a couple of traditional songs from the region and then the remaining music kept coming back to the word Indoneeeeeeeeeesia, in comical fashion by the end. It was cool.
Unfortunately then got followed by a herd into Pha That Luang.
The most striking thing here – it doesn’t have seats. Just awkward wooden back rest type things that were deeply uncomfortable in any position. Is this how they sit in Laos? It was another rotating platform, multi screen 3D experience about the history/legend of it’s namesake temple. Quite interesting but even more uncomfortable than the seating was the other people again, having shouting matches across rows, letting their kids run around and watching their infinitely more fascinating than anything else in life – phones.
Rama and Sita was really good. Legend of Nuwa ride system with a fresh story.
6 armed evil demon man steals Sita – go fight him to get her back type affair. All the pre-shows were up and running which was rare to see for this type of thing here. Making the most of the epic queuelines. Rama is another bloke with a bow and befriends a big grey monkey man before setting off on the quest. You tag along, get into some peril and watch it all unfold with varying degrees of violence from the vehicle. At the time I thought it surpassed the regular iteration but, you know, spoilers.
That was the last of the major stuff I wanted from the place so I got a bit hungry for more goes on the woodie. The rapids opposite looked a bit more interesting than usual so gave them a go as well.
Foolishly declined ponchos again and had a similar situation. It had a decent rapids section and a baby drop, but none of that was the issue. There were three or four of what looks like those trick water curtains that turn off just before you go through them. None of them turned off. They’re just evil things that get you good and proper, right on the head. Chuck in a couple more KABOOM geysers at the end and you’ve got yourself a wet ride.
Sadly it was time to part ways with the back end of the park and see what was left to dust up near the front in the last hour or so.
Getting headaches from too much 3D and poor time slot timings meant Angkor Wat didn’t happen on this visit.
This area never opened. I believe it contained another show.
So just that flying theatre left. It’s quite an appropriate ride to do last really. It takes you around the sights of all the countries represented in the park so it’s a nice little summary, a reminder of some of the amazing rides you’ve done that day.
I’m 100% sure I took a picture of a full sized bed in a shop on the way out of this park, but I can’t find it anywhere. I was going to caption it ‘For those who weren’t satisfied with the merch in Chinese parks, you can now buy your bedroom furniture there’. We bought a Boonie Bear for the collection.
Really liked this place then. Looks fantastic. Lots of high quality attractions to fill your day right up and honestly just a breath of fresh air in the Chinese theme park scene for me at this stage.
All came to an end with exactly the right amount of time to spare to pick up the bags from the hotel and catch an evening train to the next city. Guangzhou. Why did I just shudder?
From Nanning we took a day trip out to another city, Liuzhou, via more big boy trains.
I’d sort of forgotten what it was about other than a Megalite and was thinking to myself halfway through the journey was this really worth the bother?
The clue is in the name of the park though – dark rides. Let’s take a look.
Day 7 – Visionland
The entrance had a really long road leading up to it that took forever to walk, so it was giving me Six Flags vibes.
Other than the fact that the entrance looks amazing and there was absolutely no one around, again. Just these two having wedding photos taken. Good taste? Maybe. They were still hanging around doing more of the same when we left many hours later, so dedicated at least.
This confuses me.
I guess while we’re in the mood for enjoying signage, I’ll chuck in a few more.
Think this one is my favourite.
#1 Light Speed
Enough! Ride time. First up was the Intamin Megalite.
Themed to Nicolas-Joseph Cugnot, the German Labour Front and Lamborghini.
It ran with a bit of a rattle, but noticeably more forceful than the most recent 2 I’ve done.
The first corner in particular was proper intense and the faithful twistys packed a good punch. You can tell it’s better when it shifts you around uncomfortably in your seat and you have to brace a bit. Still ain’t no Piraten for some reason.
It looks a bit weird in this particular setting, jacked up over the water. There’s a splash effect after the big hill but it was off.
The staff here were unusually relaxed. Letting me just chill in the empty station and reride it a bunch before moving on.
But what else do they have?
This feature reminds me of a motorbike simulator ride that was closed. So not that.
This reminds me of a dinosaur themed ride.
Called Crazy Bus. It was odd. A simulator vehicle in a bus station trundles forward into a 180° curved screen. The best examples I can think of off the top of my head are the Joypolis ones and the Pan Em ride at Motiongate. The film that plays is a variation of an immersive tunnel video I recognised from other parks, dinosaurs attacking your vehicle, falling off a cliff etc. The subtle difference was that this didn’t show other vehicles full of people getting attacked on screen, which I clearly remember from the previous. Was it a PG edit? It only got about halfway through this however, then the screen opened up! The ride moves forward again and up a slight incline, now looking at another screen. A second video plays, showing the end of the world in dinosaur times, destruction, driving around, death. Then it slowly lumbered backwards through both sets to the bus station.
So it wasn’t very good. This poster provides a good reaction shot.
Spitey worm. Children only. Bah.
This Bonk Choy provides a good reaction shot.
This was a shooting dark ride called Car School. It was mostly screen-based, either involving shooting these yellow blob people, evil versions of them, or both. Couldn’t really tell what was going on and there was no score at the end to shed any light on it. So it wasn’t very good.
The saga of the empty gift shops continues.
Another ride is supposedly being constructed at the moment, but I’m starting to think this Motocoaster/Test Track hybrid is just for decoration now. There’s only this section completed along with one other bit that goes through the show building of a separate dark ride, but the system for that ride then crosses over it and it makes no sense whatsoever. And then where would it go from here? Too much plaza.
It was also here that we learnt the 2 year old Ferris Wheel had been ‘closed for a long time due to concern over the integrity of some bolts.’
And then the park turned into a public construction site.
Ooh, excitement. What exciting new ride installations are coming this way?
Oh, some rainbow stairs.
Onwards from there, this mine train was closed. That’s what I get when I keep cursing them I guess. First legit spite of the trip. You don’t count, Xingdong.
There was a bunch of other stuff in the same area – dark rides and/or shows, but they were all closed too. Mine land is a write-off.
This water ride looked good aesthetically, but I was in no mood for wetness.
New favourite sign so far.
They could have done with one of these over by the construction site.
Now we’re talking. This was really good.
It was running on a time slot basis as always, so had to sit here and enjoy the view for a while. Could be worse.
Myth is based on our mate Nuwa again. The sexy creation god. Just this time without all the fighting.
Flying theatre meets domed theatre and is then taken to the next level with this massive arm system that can put you on your back or on your face as opposed to just gently listing from side to side. Definitely the most spectacular ride here, if Megalites are old hat to you.
This was a 3D cinema with a female Nemo-type character that fights some crabs and then turns into a mermaid. As good as it sounds.
The last dark ride available for the day opened really late. Crazy Magician used Spiderman technology and was a bit of a step up from previous OCT attempts but still not quite polished enough for my liking. The plot involved following some wizard bloke in his escapades around the destruction of a city. I was getting quite into it but then one of the last screens was completely broken, leaving the car just sitting still, on board audio playing, nothing else happening. We told the staff about it upon exiting. They didn’t care much.
Not sure what to make of this place. It’s either only half done and they’re taking their time on the rest of it, or it’s already screwed. For an attempt at a more studio-esque park than their Happy Valleys, it wasn’t quite all there for me. You’d hope the other attractions would make up for the more lackluster coaster lineup, but other than Myth, I wasn’t particularly impressed. Nothing else I tried here came close to surpassing a simple shooting ride at HV Chongqing, which still sticks out in my mind as one of the chain’s finer dark ride creations. Maybe there’s some other stuff, maybe it’s closed. I didn’t dislike the park as such, it was kinda fun and interesting if only for the novelty, the exploration. But if they’re rolling out a bunch more of these parks and they don’t step their game up (the next one being built seems to already just contain Golden Horse creds), it may become a bit of a Fantawild Adventure situation and I’ll start to resent it a bit more.
Didi booked, onwards to creds!
Queshan Amusement Park
There are a couple of insignificant parks around Liuzhou, this one was sort of on the way back to the station and the easiest to achieve with any time constraints. Looking good.
#2 Jungle Flying Squirrel
It contained a Jungle Mouse of course.
#3 Roller Coaster
And another one of these devices.
I do like how they’ve done a bit of a history of the rollercoaster on the sign here. At a quick glance it looks like it’s claiming they were invented by Amanda Thompson.
Shame it’s not a particularly worthy tribute to the genre.
