Didn’t quite know how this day was going to pan out, but I had the combo ticket for the water park and they opened an hour earlier. I picked up a work colleague who had flown in the night before and wanted to take the opportunity to see first hand what my hobby was all about. Cred time.
Day 3 – Yas Waterworld
Caved and went for a locker on arrival, mainly to protect the precious paper park ticket.
Once again I was overly early and we spent a good 15 minutes milling around at the door. Everyone else’s excitement was building. I wasn’t so sure. Got no pictures of the park unfortunately. Not the type of person to feel the need to wear a phone in a plastic wallet around my neck like a few others I noticed here. (If you look closely, you can spot the coaster track in one of the pictures later. There’s a little game for you).
Walked straight to the cred as fast as my inappropriate footwear would allow and navigated the stairs with some difficulty.
Kinda liked #1 Bandit Bomber, if just for the relative uniqueness of it. Even just having bare feet made it a new experience for me. It’s got the comfy Vekoma SFC trains, 2 lifts and a bit of fun through the layout. Also like the barrels on the front of the train that get automatically refilled with water each time it sits in the station.
Nearly left at this point, but figured there was still time for trying something else. Ah, might as well. I know I don’t trust myself to be flailing solo in a tube, so I’d rather do something where you get to sit in a dinghy. Selected the big 6-seater one (Falcon’s Falaj?) and struggled up even more stairs to the top. Sat down, glasses and footwear in hand, thinking I can’t really hold on to anything now… well, this will be an experience.
Christ it was intense. I might be converting to this stuff at some point. It took less than 3 seconds of the boat tipping backwards off the ramp before I was completely soaked, couldn’t see and was in hysterics, from there it was just a brutal alternating succession of crazy air time that shouldn’t happen and vicious walls of water to the face. It all ended in a blur and you have to jump out into a waist deep pool to escape the insanity. Almost as wet as Valhalla that.
Hmmm. I need to leave now and the shorts I’m wearing all day are somewhat… soaked. Stood around in the sun for a while, carefully toeing the line between drying off quickly and getting sunburnt. Then proceeded to the exit.
Got the car rather wet and drove round to the mall car park, parking next to what I thought was a Ferrari (appropriately). Apparently it was a Corvette. They’re not going to let me in now.
Ferrari World
You know what time it is. Super cred mode. Straight to Rossa, no time to think.
There was a little time to think actually, they were operating it super slow and apparently it was just teetering on the edge of being too windy to run it at all. Never mind that, let’s get it over with.
No one was being brave enough for the front, so we slithered up to the opportunity. They supply you with goggles which were already biting into my face, staring down the launch track. Meh.
#2 Formula Rossa
It is fast, I’ll give it that. So much face wobble by the end of the straight that I’m rather thankful for the trims to be honest, it felt like I was about to lose a cheek.
Speed isn’t everything though and I wasn’t particularly blown away by the rest of the layout. It impressed me, it’s fast and ridiculous, but sadly it doesn’t offer much else. I admire the limits being pushed and the highlight was probably seeing the water sprays on the wheels during the brake run.
On closer inspection, the layout is bigger Rita…
Took another go in the back later on and that basically just ruined it for us. A staff woman did say “no one ever asks for the back” and now we know why. Rode really awful in all the corners. Really, brain shakingly awful. No thanks.
On to better things?
Flying Aces was probably my most anticipated ride of the trip.
#3 Flying Aces
Didn’t really get the fuss about these Intamin wing coasters on the first lap, it felt like a lot of pointless meandering and not much going on. Gave it a couple more goes during the day. Yeah, not bad. It’s a grower. I’ll come back to it later.
#4 & #5 Fiorano GT (Left & Right)
This custom Maurer ride looks like a harmless bit of fun. It’s pretty decent, again if only for being somewhat unique. The lack of banking in the corners give it a bit of extra kick as well as a more genuine feel for what it’s trying to achieve as a car race, which I appreciate.
Never quite seemed to be racing though, it always ended the same way. Wonder if the launches are overly intelligent to make that happen. Also the restraint unnecessarily having the same hoopy handle as Maurer’s spinners in a really awkward, out of reach place amused me.
#6 Turbo Track
Turbo Track to round off the creds. Everything was walk on at this time, so that’s yet another set finished in 45 minutes.
An Intamin launched shuttle ride that was a bit something and nothing really. A very faffy loading procedure for a coaster that’s over in 30 seconds. Chose the seats facing backwards to start off with, but going in blind didn’t even help to give it any noticeable forces.
Felt like it barely made it up the spike as well. Certainly didn’t see much up there. Think someone else already said this, but it’s a good use of space and that’s about it.
Ok, I’m not feeling this park as much. As with the Spanish place, it’s all a bit Ferrari up its own arse, which isn’t the best vibe. I wonder if the dark rides will fix that.
If you start with Speed of Magic. Noooooooooo. The preshow starts off with a kid on a bed playing a game with this cartoon guy called Nello and he’s a rather unpleasant character – encouraging kids to act like they’re the best at everything and everyone else sucks. Cool. The boy gets pissed off with the game (rightly so), then Dad walks in. “I’VE JUST BOUGHT A FERRARI MATE.” Best Dad ever (right?). “Here’s the keys.” Nello steals the keys. Gotta play the game to get ’em back boy. Sigh. Once you’re on the simulator it ain’t that great either. Don’t really remember much beyond obnoxious shouting from Nello as he drags you around on strings through the jungle, ice, lava, desert? Then FUTURISTIC FORMULA 1 and you beat him in 5 seconds. You got lucky punk.
In total contrast to this, Benno’s Great Race is really good. An inventive twist on a shooting dark ride where a rabbit is racing the feds (beavers?) through Italy, the ‘gun’ is a spanner and you have to help him along the way by breaking boxes, cutting spiders webs and putting bees in jars. Great stuff.
Think it was pizza time after that. When in Rome. Again, quality food, reasonably priced. UAE you’re killing it.
Oh here’s that other dark ride of the factory tour, Made in Maranello. Didn’t rate it, wasn’t particularly interesting and a bit more ‘look how great we are.’
Did the cultural maze full of quotes from Zayed himself, this being the year of Zayed. That was more interesting.
This dumb thing still isn’t ready.
They had lots of ‘decades of music’ mini events going on around the park with local DJs which was quite amusing. An 80’s one with Rubiks cubes, graffiti and 2 blokes having a dance off. 70’s one with disco people trying to grind against you while you walk past. 60’s one with hula hoops. Then the 90’s one – it had this beatboxing guy who was very good at his job. He announced the entrance of a skateboarder, a BMX guy and someone on rollerskates. World Champions in their field he says. They messed up so many times that it got rather embarrassing and we left (not sure why we were watching in the first place).
Well if that’s the tone being set, I’m gonna find out if they do handstamps so we can leave. They do.
Went out into the mall to find the bonus cred in FunWorks. On the way there was this exhibition about the new Warner Bros. park I missed by a month. They were getting people to pre-book for cheap, so I had a little nose around and got given a WB passport souvenir in which you’re supposed to fill in your details. Good for the collection I guess. FunWorks
#7 Yolo Works then. Bad staff, bad guests, awful ride. A stain on this country. Didn’t take a picture in my disgust. The ride suffers from the same problem as halfpipes in that you don’t want to be facing 90 degrees to a snappy launch mechanism with a shoulder restraint in your face. My colleague didn’t know what to think after sitting this one out and watching the ordeal I went through only for me to then tell him how terrible it was. Why do you ride it if it hurts? Don’t question it.
Had some more food in a food court style area and a bit of a sit down. What time does the park shut? I ask myself. I’ve got 11pm in my head. Looked it up. 8. What’s the time? 7:15. Ah…
Forcing down the rest of a sandwich and half a litre of sprite while powering back through the mall, hope I’m not gonna regret that.
Ferrari World
Flying Aces at night. Oh man this thing came to life. Rides ‘warming up’ is apparently still a thing even when it’s 40°C outside to start with. It did things to me. Things that I’ve not felt before on a coaster. Dangerous things. I grew to love it, character and all. The queue is amazing, but if anything it’s jarringly loud. I wouldn’t want to be stuck queueing in that rocky section with the planes going over. Thankfully they let me run through the fastrack entrance every time, once I got into marathon mode.
The lift hill is just ridiculous. Love those minimalist supports. It has such a great sense of purpose as it pulls you up to the top whether you like it or not. I was just laughing with glee at it and after a few laps it turned into one of those magical moments. Insane first drop and the non-inverting loop is fun, but this is all stuff I’ve seen before. It’s the little things that set it apart. The speed hill chucked in out of nowhere which is killer, then this upward banked corner into an air time hill which throws you dangerously sideways instead of upwards for no good reason. It wasn’t doing that earlier and I’ve never felt a ride do that before, especially with so little holding you in. The stuff dreams are made of.
The snappy twists in the second half, if you’re in the front or back wing seats, are just brutal in the best way and it only got better and better the more I rode it. Fantastic ride.
Fortunately no early start was required for today, so I managed to sleep for 1000 hours as well as find time to slither to a supermarket for supplies.
On the way I encountered this.
I had thought about making time for going in, but parks and sleep were the priorities for now, so settled for a few snaps from the outside. I’ll save it for a non-solo trip.
Time to hit up Dubai Parks & Resorts. They’ve got some odd car parking here, the signs keep conflicting and switching between VIP parking only and ALL parking. It wasn’t just me who was getting confused by this, as by the time i reached the ticket barriers, some people were causing a scene and trying to reverse out of there rather than pay the displayed prices on the booths. I carried on anyway and asked them about ‘normal parking’. It’s still in the same area and costs £4 rather than £20 and just isn’t advertised anywhere for whatever reason.
You don’t get to park in the shade again (sorry car), but you do get to wait in a tent for a little train to take you to the parks. While waiting they give out free water to adults and ice pops to children, then the train proceeds to bypass the VIP section while they stand staring in shock. Great stuff.
The only park open this early is:
Day 2 – Legoland Dubai
Having done what I consider to be too many iterations, I try not to actively seek out these parks any more, but as it was open for 3 hours outside of Motiongate and part of a cheaper deal, it would be rude not to get the creds wouldn’t it.
Actually quite liked the place, mainly because it was completely dead and there’s far worse places to kill a couple of hours.
The central hub of the park is the indoor Miniland, but while everyone got caught up in that, I powered straight outside to the Kingdom area. How predictable.
#1 Dragon
Oh look, one of those Dragon rides again.
Staff were super friendly and excited to see the first customer of the day, rather than hating their life like in most Legolands. Something I noticed both here and in other parks in the country is that the staff are really good with children, which I can’t say I’ve ever particularly noticed in any other place.
Same old dark ride section of the ride, just a little newer looking. Same old ride outside, closer to Malaysia than Germany in smoothness thankfully. Job done.
#2 Dragon’s Apprentice
The other cred had fired up by now, so got that knocked off as well. Again, very friendly for some strange bloke riding a kids coaster at Legoland on his own. No judgment here.
This was my first experience with entire outdoor park sections in this part of the world and I found myself darting between shade spots as quickly as possible. Quite fun really. Might as well tick off the dark rides.
Oh, Lost Kingdom Adventure again. The really, really short one that’s just a circle layout. Played a game of how many different effects can I spot and set off, good little sit down.
Always cautious of these now, after powering into Billund’s expecting it to be a ride and finding out that it was just an aquarium. Submarine Adventure here is a ride, and I think I liked it more than Windsor, mainly due to having a sub to myself. Still feel like it needs a little more spectacle though. When the dramatic music hits and it says “welcome to the city of Atlantis”, there’s just a small lone pyramid with some lego knobs on top. I want some huge epic set to look at. But it’s Legoland.
Well that’s the park done in 40 minutes. Time to chill in Miniland.
Yay Lego pics. These are probably the best parts of all the parks, because they have all their unique builds relevant to the location. I wish the same level of creativity went into the ride lineups.
This was an Eid exhibit where you can build your own lantern for the display.
Stuff vs Burj
Lotte wins of course <3
Burj vs Burj
Got lost in this area for about half an hour. Still not enough time killed. There was a sandwich board up advertising the 4D showtimes. Fine…
Ended up with the obnoxious Nexo Knights film again. Marginally better than having to suffer through the one based on the Lego Movie, but ugh. Best part was the audiences over the top reactions to all the 4D bits. I remember being wowed like that the first time in Disney, age 12. What happened?
Another sandwich board made it clear that I also had time to try the Ninjago puppet stage show.
Ok, I’m intrigued.
This was actually pretty good. It ain’t no Lion King, but it was rather clever and refreshing to me at least.
So there we go, a reasonably happy experience at a Legoland property. Off to the next park.
Maybe next time.
The Riverwalk area between the parks here is really nice, aside from the lack of shade. Kept up the vampire routine and powered swiftly to the park entrance, still a little too early.
There was a small group outside also waiting, and they began doing bag checks early so that we could move forward to the turnstyles. After a short while they stopped this and just let the crowd build up outside, confused, resulting in a rather awkward 15 minutes of either staring down the staff at the turnstyles, or at the guests behind who felt like they were missing out (hopefully the VIPs again).
Motiongate
The call comes in. And we’re off. All that time I’d been having a bit of a tactical think, so super cred mode again, I knew where I was headed.
Straight into the massive Dreamworks building.
Via Toothless of course.
Now is not the time to appreciate this magnificence.
#3 Madagascar Mad Pursuit
They do have locker rules in this park, but they’re free (for an hour at a time) and automated with minimum hassle. So that’s a win. There’s a great queueline for this ride (theme of the day), circus style, that passes through a little runaway cart with lots of imaginative posters on the walls.
Can’t help but think of Kärnan when I see these Gerstlauer Infinity trains now, which makes me fearful in a good way. Something tells me this won’t quite be the same experience.
Pretty much the same turn into a dark ride section and hold before the launch as Velociraptor the previous day. I don’t know my Madagascar, but something is said about the animals and the bad guy and it being time to escape the circus. The train launches through a psychedelic tunnel and into the main darkened ride area. It’s good fun, but you can feel like it’s holding back a little, being aimed at such a family market with the IP. There are hills in the layout that could kill at higher speed, but the ride just doesn’t quite want to that to you.
It also features a few effects that light up as you pass by/through and a brief section into the area outside the ride entrance for guests to get a little off-ride glimpse, in the same vein as Spiderman the previous day. The experience ends on the brake run with an angry bear in the cart, those penguins and a statement along the lines of ‘people in love are never happy’, which made me laugh every time.
Time to make the most of that free locker. In my narrow minded view of getting the creds done, I’m powering off to Dragon Gliders next and BOOM.
#4 Dragon Gliders
I’m taken aback. That’s a bloody spectacular area I’ve just walked into. I wasn’t prepared for this. Found myself just meandering around in amazement for a while, rather than going into the ride. I already love this IP, love the films, and they’ve done it so much justice. The staff guy at the entrance is wearing a themed costume and completely out of character for myself I have to tell him how amazing that is. Ahhhhhh!
The queue is really detailed and atmospheric, with a bit of Gobber action on audio, some posters and drawings teaching you about dragons as well as a selection of animatronics, screens and other effects.
On to the hardware then. I didn’t quite ‘get’ Arthur. It was all a bit something and nothing, like a cool concept but poorly executed, though maybe that’s just IP bias.
I get this, it’s just done right. 90% dark ride and 10% coaster. There’s a fantastic mix beyond physical sets and screens, including some clever projections and story-telling shadows. It has a fresh story, going on a bit of an adventure with Hiccup and Astrid. You stumble upon a mean icy dragon and have a bit of a fight with it, survive, and then return to Berk for a bit of a celebration which is when the ride just opens above the main off-ride entrance plaza again.
This part works so well. There’s so many little easter eggs around inculding the catapult sheep everywhere (21 sheep salute). And then the ending hits, where they’ve captured the relationship between Hiccup and Toothless perfectly in a single animatronic and sound clip. And then Gobber’s voice speaks to you through on-board audio: “Not at all what I expected, look at you… still alive.” Again, made me laugh every time. Perfection.
No time to let that sink in, back out into the sun. There’s more Mack goodness afoot.
#5 Capitol Bullet Train
I was a little confused as to how this was a concept. I don’t like the Hunger Games, so much as respect it. Seen the films once and sort of enjoyed them, but can’t really stand to see them again. So how is a Mack launch coaster going to be a high speed train into the city? A train which in the film they amusingly claim does 200Mph like that’s some mind blowing futuristic achievement. For a train. Have they not been to China?
It doesn’t make sense, but they’ve made a reasonable attempt. The queue is full of boarding procedures and announcements, lots of posh luggage around and a glimpse into one of the trains with posh food inside. By the end of the ride (the brake run) they’ve made it feel more like the city, with a subtle change in architecture and some billboards up.
So what’s in between all that? Got in the back of the train first, with personal recommendation from the staff bloke who said “it’s the best seat: good in the spike.” It is good in the spike. The first warm up launch is rather amusingly slow, as the loop is so close to the launch track and it only goes a quarter of the way through it, but as with the others of this type it’s the backwards one that catches you by surprise. The loop itself is lovely and floaty, there’s a few twists and turns and one really sharp multi-directional airtime hill which is probably the highlight of the ride. I’ve said before that Mack always nail their inversions and the other one in the layout is really good, but then it’s all over a bit quick. Solid fun, but nothing spectacular.
#6 Smurf Village Express
Smurf Village Express came next. I had it in my head that it was a Vekoma Junior (a likely assumption) but definitely thought to myself while riding ‘this seems better somehow.’ Oh yeah, it’s a Gerstlauer. They always nail their family rides.
#7 Green Hornet: High Speed Chase
One more Gerstlauer then and it’s a slightly custom Bobsled thankfully. No more than a one and done though. Not sure what the theme was inside, then it’s just concrete outside.
Sat behind a couple of Indian blokes who after making such a huge fuss about getting on it, rode it with the most amusingly unphased stances. Clearly just a +1 for them as well.
Well that’s all the creds knocked out in 45 minutes again, better go check on my locker.
Went to Kung Fu Panda land from there. Another really, really nice area in the Dreamworks bit. Sadly the ride here was down all day, but could have been worse.
Shrek’s Merry Fairy Tale Journey it is then. Less than 0 expectations for this, cos ugh, Shrek. Absolutely loved it.
It’s just a retelling of the first film, but with the premise of Shrek and Fiona putting on a puppet show to retell the first film to their kids. This is styled really cleverly in a wonderful dark ride that’s packed full of great detail. It has some fancy ‘trackless’ moments with the vehicles splitting off from your neighbouring cars into a 2 lane path. In one of these in particular near the end, I’m not sure if it was just the sudden difference in scale of one of the sets, but the 2 cars end up side by side going into a big church scene that was a real ‘wow’ moment. Then the dragon eats the short bloke (in a hilariously low budget puppet show manner) and the wedding happens, the cars turn round on the spot, and the cardboard cut out guests in the pews change. Great stuff.
Panem Aerial Tour was a bit of a mixed bag. I thought it would be a flying theatre ride for whatever reason. Then once inside it made me start to think it was an immersive tunnel. In the end it was just a simulator in a curved screen. Similar with the story. Thought it was going to be as described in the preshow, just a nice sightseeing flight over the capital and some of the districts. Then there’s a signal breaking through and rebels talking, oh maybe they’re gonna interweave that plot a bit. Then the ride is mostly 90% just that plot, a bit of a high speed flying chase through the city in a sub par simulator and nothing like it promised. Was better in my head I think. Soarin’ over some fictional lands. Would have done the job better.
Positives though – another nicely themed queue with information about all the different districts, and then an actor as one of the nasty security blokes (peacekeepers?) sneaking up on people after the preshow and scaring them silly. Also the sign outside said 30 minutes, I asked if that was because it runs time slots, or from an actual queue. The response was “mmmmmm a bit of both.” It was actually a walk on.
Ghostbusters: Battle for New York was again, rather good. Slightly too high a ratio of screens for the shooting sections, but very nicely themed. Ended a bit abruptly. Didn’t take a picture.
The list just keeps going. Hotel Transylvania. No idea what this was. Absolutely loved it.
Another pseudo-trackless dark ride, the highlight of which is a huge open hallway with tons of crossed pathways and cars everywhere going in all directions between scenes. On the first go I was all alone for this moment and it just filled me with childlike excitement and glee.
Second go was ruined by having a couple of British tourists behind me constantly moaning about how bad it all was. Really?? You don’t know what good is. Can’t take them anywhere…
I normally skip drop towers unless I think they’re of particular interest, but it was so quiet everywhere I thought I might as well have a go on this one. 60 minute queue – 10 times the national average. Nope.
Hung around outside Underworld 4D, wondering whether it was actually open. The show time board was outside, but awkwardly blocking the door, and the exit shop was all boarded up with a sign saying closed. It was open. Yet again, a very nicely themed queueline. Preshow was a bit awkward, standing around watching a screen of clips from the movies(?) and some story about a vampire. The actual experience was rather bizarre. Obviously it’s more dark and graphic than your average 4D show. I liked the beginning with someone getting shot through the head synced with a water effect to the audiences faces, but it never got better than that. The rest is done from a POV perspective of the vampire bloke getting into fights, though the seat movements fell way short of what was going on. Need the Ben10 hardware.
The Smurfs Studios Tour had too many good rides come before it. It was alright. Did the job.
Think that was everything covered bar the rapids, which I had planned to vampire later. With a couple of hours to go until sundown, decided to go chill in the Dreamworks area again.
Had a very nice tofu & noodles dish from the Kung Fu Panda area (my kinda scene). Still a strong showing from the park food around here.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was alright. Couldn’t work out who made it. It had some interesting pacing, moments where it would almost come to a standstill before rushing off again. Not sure if they were planned or not. I got mildly wet, but it wasn’t brutal enough for my taste in water rides. Had possibly the weakest queue of the park too, comprising of just cattlepens and a couple of TV screens.
Dragon Gliders broke down for a bit unfortunately, but then it got dark and I had some night rides on Capitol Bullet Train instead. The former also fixed itself before the end of the day so I managed to finish on that high.
All in all, another great day. Properly impressed with the quality of attractions and overall appearance of this park and the bar has been set even higher now. Watch out IMG.
Conveniently I was required to be in Abu Dhabi for 3 days for work, so I jumped at the opportunity to have a bit of fun beforehand. This wasn’t somewhere particularly on the cards for me in the near future, but I’m very glad to have been now. The whole place far exceeded my expectations in pretty much every aspect and I’d happily go back for more.
The first day was a bit of a marathon. I had an overnight flight with 0 sleep, being surrounded by the Chinese who kept their lights on the whole time and were having their usual loud conversations. There’s no escaping them.
Landed first thing in the morning and sorted out the hire car. Through more luck than judgment, I had timed things just right and this was the first day of celebrating the end of Ramadan, so didn’t have to worry about not being able to eat. It also seemed to have a positive impact on the parks, everywhere was super quiet.
This was first made eerily obvious as I hit the dusty trail and perhaps saw about 10 cars total on the first hour of the journey. Bombing down a 4 lane motorway in the desert with absolutely nothing in sight. I like this already.
IMG Worlds of Adventure
Pulled up outside the park nice and early, believe I was the 3rd or 4th car on site. There’s some sweet Mack coaster goodness to admire on the way in.
Free parking, but unfortunately none of it is covered here, so the car and anything in it is gonna get an absolute roasting.
Eh, can’t be that bad.
Largest indoor theme park. That’s convenient.
Hung around the entrance area for a while until they let us through to the turnstyles.
From there, they did an opening ceremony to a crowd of about 50, which involved some mediocre dancing to the tune of Let Me Entertain You. Everyone rushed forward to meet the bloke from Adventure Time, while I headed off to the rides.
Ooo it’s a nice looking place. There’s definitely some magical vibe going on with the indoor-ness, which these pictures won’t do justice at all. Everyone’s really friendly and it all just looks great, particularly the jungle/dinosaur area being in half dark all the time. I was concerned about bad locker rules being an inconvenience to me, but the staff girl told me “nah, no need to bother with that nonsense.”
#1 Predator
Got the Gerstlauer Eurofighter out of the way first. Ugh, Rage clone.
It was actually better than I remember it. I only recall liking the way it hangs in the loop, but the rest of the layout is rather forceful and fun for what it is. It’s mirrored too, I’m sure that’s what makes the difference.
Ended up losing my way in the jungle area looking for the next cred and found myself in Avengers land instead. Spiderman then.
#2 Spider-Man Doc Ock’s Revenge
The queueline here is particularly impressive, going through some dingy alleys and themed rooms, before passing under a darkened tease of a section of the track. I didn’t expect much from this ride either as, you know, clones, but I really enjoyed it. The lift hill starts in a flashy strobey underground tunnel that’s pumping tons of mist into your face before dropping you into the quick off-ride viewing section.
There’s a transition from there where it lets you know that it’s a ride not to be messed with as it plunges down back into the depths of the inner themed area which is full of skyscrapers. Depending on your direction of travel and current intensity of spinning, this can be a real surprise and some of the following turns end up crazy forceful. It all ends a little too soon for my liking, but really good fun.
Still in cred mode, powered back over to the Mack Blue Fire clone (thats 3/3), which was hiding at the back.
#3 Velociraptor
Some of this queue looked rather good as well, though it just turned into plain walls shortly after here. I like the trains with their yellow and red dinosaur skin look, disappointed I didn’t manage to get a picture. Got straight on the ride and made myself at home in the sexy bucket seats again. Being spoiled with them this year.
The pre-launch section is rather cool, passing through some jungle and more mist being pumped out at you. There’s a big screen on the right, on which some dinosaurs start making a scene, prompting you to leave quickly. The door to the outside opens a little early in all this and sunlight pours in to ruin the effect of the screen before you’re off.
Ahhhh! 40°C! The cooking effect from the sun isn’t noticeable while you’re moving fast, but as soon as you hit the brake run you can feel the burn and being a vampire I’m thinking ‘gotta get back inside, gotta get back inside.’ The ride is great fun of course, being a Mack launch coaster.
Not sure what they were going for with the outdoor area. There’s a random greenhouse chucked in amongst some palm trees and some dust. Better than nothing I guess.
Each of these parks on this trip I was in super cred mode to begin with and it was never fully justified. This was all knocked out in about 45 minutes, so it was time to relax.
Did Forbidden Territory the dinosaur dark ride next. It was quite good, the queue has some story building if you get to spend any time in it and there’s some impressive physical theming inside but it got a bit screen heavy towards the end and the vehicle movement was a little awkward rather than thrilling.
Avengers: Battle of Ultron followed. I was rather excited for this simulator, being a fan of the cinematic universe, but maybe that hurt it for me, as it’s not directly from that particular media source. I wasn’t particularly impressed by the ride sequence, all felt a bit been there, done that with lots of recycled tricks in almost the same environment as its competitors (Spiderman/Transformers) unlike, say, Fantawild ones.
The Ride of Ooo was the busiest attraction all day. Queued a whole 10 minutes or thereabouts. Half dark ride, half suspended monorail over the park, it wasn’t without its charm. Don’t particularly know the brand though.
I liked The Amazing Ride of Gumball. Had a little preshow to set the scene and tell me what it even was, cos never heard of it. It’s a fun shooting ride, the type that seem to be becoming my favourites with the mixture of physical targets, screen based blastings and crazy unpredictable scores.
Hulk 3D Epsilon Base was up and running next. Another preshow to set the scene, before strapping in to the huge circle of seats. I was expecting it to be a rather relaxed affair, having only sat in a dome theatre ride like this before for a slow Chinese fairytale, but this one really gets up a good forceful spin, there’s a lot going on and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I believe that just leaves Ben 10 5D. More preshows, which the locals had now run out of patience for and were all intently staring at the door to the theatre rather than watching any more. Vicious attraction! The moving cinema style seats on this give you a right good kicking, which I wasn’t expecting at all. It brought back memories of the John Cleese ride with its intense car crash moments.
Rounded the day off with a few re-rides, but got rather exhausted towards the end of the 36 hour day. Nearly died a few times on the drive back to the hotel, quite literally being half asleep. All for a good cause.
Great park then, liked it a ton more than I expected. Very relaxed atmosphere and good selection of rides, while not suffering too badly from being an RCDB clone fest. I remarked while I was there that I thought this would be the ‘bad’ park of the trip. The bar has been set high.
This particular crawl was meant to happen last year, but it turned into something better(?) in the same area. Better late than never.
Day 2 – Dennlys Parc
Not sure what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it. A tiny little place with Spanish pop music everywhere, it had a fair bit of charm.
#1 Nitro
Got extra excited for a bit as I had forgotten what this is, but damn, it’s a Moebius loop (one continuous piece of track). Sends you round both sides in one cycle, so no quandaries about half a cred or anything. It contained a couple of rough turns, but nothing too serious. The main drops and hills weren’t bad, but it ain’t no Pax.
#2 Furio
Can it get worse? The ‘worst custom steel rollercoaster in the world’ – Mitch Hawker 2013.
What? How? It rode with the same level of inoffensiveness as the Soquet yesterday. Does pretty much nothing.
#3 Voltigo
And we’ll finish off the coasters here with pretty much nothing. At least it’s an obscure manufacturer for the list. Only 2 Gosettos in the world.
Did one of those Desperado 4D screen shooting attractions where you sit on the little rocking horses as they’re quite fun. Must have done too many now, victory over everyone else came quite easily.
Did one of these discount rapids rides, which was a laugh.
That looks like the same tower as yesterday. Eh, might as well. No tingle from this version though. Pure ejector at the top of each main burst – they’re running it hard. Highlight of the park for sure.
That was all rather easy. Next?
Bagatelle
Bit of a weird entrance to this park. Bag check before a pink tunnel under the road, then some big metal entrance gates and many confused people standing around.
#4 Kid’z Coaster
Excellent once you get inside though. The first thing you come to is a Wacky Worm on tarmac. A beautiful sight.
#5 Gaz Express
Was expecting some at least some moderate crowding on a summer weekend, but maybe football (World Cup final) is good for something. Walked straight on to the most intriguing attraction here.
The Soquet Aquatrax, potentially their finest achievement. 2 helices of doom, one moment of violent air time in the back and some tasty fire effects. Who could ask for more?
#6 Famous Jack
The name doesn’t sound like a cred, but here we are. Reverchon failed to beat Zamperla today.
#7 Triops
The last couple of areas had seemed quite nice, but now we’ve stumbled onto concrete wasteland with a Vekoma Invertigo on it. It’s like they know not to try and glam it up.
With their Paris Metro air gates.
Oh no, Invertigo. My very first of these. Got somewhat nervous about how terrible it could be. The sign even mentions ‘side impacts’ (or lateral chocolate), so that’s reassuring.
The restraints are super hench like El Condor, already touching your ears before you move, so that’s reassuring.
It’s fine. No problem at all. Not as intense as a regular Boomerang, and smoother than most of them. Might still be a spark of Liseberg (its original home) magic left in it.
Can’t find the last cred now.
#8 Spirale des Dunes
Oh there it is, a baby Soquet. That’ll do.
Again that was all rather easy, time for a baguette and to see what else they have.
Like Bocasse, they were also celebrating some sort of anniversary, by splashing out on a new(?) film for their simulator attraction. This was beyond confusing, starting with what felt like a circus horror walkthrough, expecting a preshow in a punch and judy box – nope. Expecting a preshow in a room with screens inside giant 3D glasses – nope. Straight on the ride, no glasses, the simulators are decorated with bones, pop music playing, “hold the red bar.” The video was a rollercoaster on the moon! Well that was a thing.
Disaster struck at this moment. Somehow my drink had leaked absolutely everywhere in my bag. An actual swimming pool of it, just stewing in the bottom. Everything got affected, everything. It all smells rather fruity now, but also a tad sticky and I’ve had to order myself a new passport as several of the stamps are now unreadable. Volvic you heartless bastards.
The log flume here had a bit of pace to it. Drier than my bag though.
Is that a… a Hafema rapids? Had to assume it’s a Soquet again, but it does have the same crazy whirlpool element, just with less enjoyable wall collision. This became the trip of surprisingly good water rides. Drier than my bag though.
Who needs one log flume when you can have 2? Smaller than the first, but a more intense drop for its size. Drier than my bag though.
Had another go on Gaz Express and some kid in front of me decided to stick his hand/head in the fountains that spray the track mid ride. I got SOAKED by this, but still drier than my bag.
And that was it. The place was turning into a ghost town due to that sports thing and we had a Chunnel to catch. Assume everyone in the terminal was British as there was no reaction to the final result of the match. Train was delayed as always. People were moaning as always. Burger King was broken as always. That’s enough of that for one year.
We were going hold off a little longer, but the Chunnel booking system for the summer holidays wouldn’t have it any other way. Another obnoxiously early start and battling with closed roads, but for a worthy cause. There’s new wood on the horizon.
Day 1 – Parc Saint Paul
Walked away from this place less than a year ago thinking it was a good little park, but probably won’t be back. Then they had to be awesome and throw together a Gravity woodie out of the blue.
Look at the colour of it. Doesn’t get much newer than that.
They haven’t had the chance to put up a sign yet.
It wasn’t open first thing as they were still hammering some wood onto the lift hill.
And then taking a small group of people with Expedition GeForce, Cedar Point and the wrong coaster crate shirts for a backstage tour + Exclusive Ride Time. Ugh, enthusiasts.
Sadly Wild Train was down all day (the train has gone walkies), so we took the time to reacquaint ourselves with Formule 1.
Formule 1
Pax you crazy beasts. Without the other one in the park for direct comparison, this was a lot better than I remembered. Ridiculous air time in the big drop as well as the silly bunny hill and it rides way smoother than it should.
Their log flume was something different to try. The world’s dinosaur theming craze continues.
Also did this haunted walkthrough, hoping it would house a secret ride or something. The highlight was a piece of vibrating floor which reminded me of Lost Gravity. Good times.
#1 Wood Express
The French were being cheeky and slithering in past a fence earlier than the posted opening time, so we assumed it was all ready.
Gravity you crazy beasts. How can you pack so much into so little? Not being much of a fan of Twister, I had assumed they were a go big or go home manufacturer, but it turns out they really are my boys when it comes to wood.
13, not that I like to count them, moments of very decent air time. Well paced with a good bit of variety, all out of a tiny 49ft drop. And the station is nearly halfway up that height, so it could have potentially done more. *Insert derogatory Wicker Man comment here*
The trains are cute, no-belt baby Timberliners and it was weird for me to not see them in red. They seem to always be red. Except that one that’s blue. And the one they copied this from.
This park never seems to get particularly busy, and they were operating very well for 1 train of 12 people, so we got plenty of goes out of it with a consistent 10-15 minute queue. Back row was the place to be, just for the extra bonus in the first drop really.
Brilliant investment for the price. Well done Parc Saint Paul.
So what else can we find around this part of the country?
A million cars covered in bike racks and stickers were driving recklessly in the opposite direction to us while a local town ground to a halt, so we got stuck in the Tour de France on the way to the next parc. All part of the culture.
Parc du Bocasse
Celebrating 50 years with Parc du Bocasse seemed like a bit of fun. It was quite a nice place actually. Reminded me of that RCT scenario with the bridge over the road, mainly because it has a bridge over the road.
#2 Jurassic Twister
Minimal dinosaur effort on the first cred. A Zamperla version that does spin. Not bad. I say this every time now, but it still never got better than Brighton Pier.
#3 Train de Mine
I’ve never managed to ride a Soquet before, so this was my first. It’s a fairly inoffensive experience, most comparable to a small French Jet Coaster, but nowhere near as cool. The V-shaped track and lazy 45 degree up/side-stop wheels kinda bug me.
#4 Gonzales
That leaves the smallest cred. DC rivals colour with a legit IP.
The twisty air time hill looked like it could rival Alpina Blitz, but only managed about as much as Shambhala.
Gave this tower ride a crack as it seemed relatively big and we didn’t recognise who made it. It was surprisingly decent. 3 rounds of 3 upwards shots, the first of each providing a bit of tingling sensation (I’ll leave it to your imagination as to where).
We had spotted what looked like a gem on the way in. Is that a… a Hafema log flume? My boys when it comes to water.
Apparently Splash-O-Saure is made by Soquet and it’s very suspiciously similar to Mami Wata (if that means anything to you). What’s all this about the Chinese copying rides when the French are at it as well.
It does a Tidal Wave to the exit path, soaking the unsuspecting guest, or in the case of a hot day, the ready and willing guest.
Couple more dinosaurs than the cred here.
Dinosaurs crashed a plane.
Or something about time travel? My stamps don’t quite last that long.
One of the staff members at this ride spotted the shirt I was wearing and was either from ‘Parkfan’ or calling me a ‘park fan’ (apologies for me being massively confused and tired at this point). I assumed the former (but without actually knowing that was a thing) and I kept saying no as if I wasn’t the latter. The conversation ended with “Kärnan – great ride” with a thumbs up and a nod, so all was well.
Up next: Reverchon vs Zamperla Spinners. The showdown continues.
After a tricky night of finding everything closed (in the usual French fashion) and a quick burst of driving down the wrong side of the road, we set off a little earlier the next morning to hunt down some breakfast, ending up with some tasty Pain of Chocolats. Still doing it right.
Day 2 – Nigloland
The sight of the 5th tallest drop tower in the world surrounded by some trees soon greeted us and we were amongst the first 50 cars or so to arrive at the car park. I was expecting it to get busier throughout the day, but it was all far too easy again.
The world’s most lax bag check followed and we joined the crowd that had just been let in the park, all powering along the main pathway. They eventually all dispersed around us (not sure where to), leaving us with a virtually empty queue for Alpina Blitz. That works.
#1 Alpina Blitz
I’m being spoiled by the number of these Mack Mega trains I’ve sat in this season, they always feel so homely. Being a bit biased, I wanted this to be better than the Intamin almost-equivalent layout, but it never quite matched the ferocity of Piraten, who seems to be a particularly special beast.
I was very happy to learn that it has its slight variations, so at least you get a somewhat different experience out of it other than the trains.
And it is of course still extremely good, for me the best ride in the country by some margin, combining comfort with a punchy mix of strong airtime.
Also wonderfully photogenic and nicely ‘styled’.
Well I do feel like lazing around in the shade too. But what else do they have on offer here?
#2 Schlitt’Express
Got your standard Mack mouse. This one is offensively smooth, almost to the point where it loses its fun.
#3 Chenille
Got your standard Wacky Worm. Can’t go wrong there.
Hérissons de la Forêt Magique lets you ride in a cute little hedgehog and has a hint of a dark ride section.
Big wheel. Can’t see a huge amount of the park from up there as it’s so well… vegetated?
Only the big rides stand out from the trees.
#4 Spatiale Expérience
Was rather looking forward to the space themed indoor coaster as well, being a big fan of Eurosat (nervous about its refurb).
The spirit lives on in the smaller brother here. Hasn’t quite got the musicality, but it rides like a beast and is a lot of fun.
Also got rather excited for Donjon de l’Extrême, being a big fan of drop towers. And since when do they have pseudo lap bars? It’s also massive and does give you your observational spin at the top first (for those who can bear to look), which is an added bonus.
The drop itself was a tad underwhelming force-wise, as the big ones often are, but it goes on for an age. Got a bit stapled by the restraint on both attempts which may have hindered things a little.
Haunted Mansion was great. A fair amount of obvious Disney inspiration going on, but still of decent quality. Absolutely love the cars, which are just like an ornamental bench on top of a platform. They’re very ‘open’ and give a rather good spin too.
The park Euro-spited themselves here by having a new for 2018 declaration for this ride already on the map. It wasn’t ready.
#5 Gold Mine Train
Powered mine train was a thing. Bonus points for the log flume interaction. Minus points for teasing the log flume, which had the only massive queue all day.
Really liked the park overall. Nice atmosphere, not overly busy. Well kept, looks nice – the castle and Swiss areas are simple but effective. Efficient operations, lots of fancy bag holders actually in use (take note Parc Asterix…) and a couple of smart turnstyles that count down the correct number of people per batch. Water jets scattered around to keep people cool. Good ride selection. Decent food. Free parking. No complaints at all really.
Good for you Nigloland.
We returned home through the Channel tunnel that night, but our work in France wasn’t done yet. Due to an exciting new addition at one park, we came back for more a mere 2 weeks later.
Had these parks on the cards for what feels like forever now, but never quite got round to it. They were always toeing the line between too much of an effort to drive and not worth the hassle to fly. Even after making the effort and getting up at 4am (nutters), life was against us as 90% of the roads on the way to the Chunnel were closed. Made it there 1 minute later than ‘check-in’ but were lucky enough to keep the time slot. Many hours later…
Day 1 – Walygator Parc
Car park was surprisingly empty, though I do believe it never gets that busy here. Figured it should be an easy job and headed for food first rather than creds. Queued more for the food than any of the rides and then it took about 20 minutes to get a signal on the payment card reader. The staff were friendly, so no harm done. Croissants for breakfast. Baguette for lunch. Doing them proud.
#1 Family Coaster
Rides then. Started strong on the faithful family ride. Classic wacky worm but with bonus Walygator face on the train and a rotting apple to decorate. Effort.
#2 Monster
Less effort went into the big boy it seems. Temperatures in the high 30s (°C) and no roof on the station wasn’t the best of combinations, but there was never more than a trains worth of queue.
This was my first of the ‘big’ B&M inverts and you can definitely feel the difference in the way it’s all spaced out. Rather than the consistent flurry of forces there’s pauses, strange transitions, extended straights while the train sorts itself out for the next element. Which was weird, but I kinda liked it. Adds a bit of character.
The elements themselves were great. A forceful loop, air-time out of the zero-G, hugely snappy (but never ear-punchy) cobra and corkscrews, and a killer helix to finish (which hilariously makes every single person in the train shout ‘AHHH’ in unison). I imagine the lack of mid course braking helps that second half of the layout a lot. Great stuff.
#3 Comet
Bog standard Vekoma looper was bog standard. The layout that inspired so many Chinese classics.
#4 Anaconda
Which leaves L’Anaconda. Expected one of two things going into this, it was either going to be be horribly rough or horribly boring. Managed to not quite achieve either.
The layout is almost pointless, but the train bounced along in a mostly rhythmic and amusing fashion. On the more pronounced moments I could feel just my heart bouncing up and down, but I’ve felt worse sensations on rides. The locals love it, for reasons unknown, and it got a round of applause on return. Normally that’s saved for something particularly special, but who am I to judge?
I lied about the food queue being the longest. The water rides were hugely popular given the weather, but the queues were a good excuse for a bit of shade.
The dinosaur themed rapids is a weird one. Only ride I’ve seen other than Valhalla that has 2 different types of boat in active service. Layout was decent fun and the typical waterfall section was probably the most wet in recent memory with the boat actually ploughing straight into it, rather than teasing along side it as per the usual design. The Jurassic Park theme was playing here in full force, but there weren’t that many dinosaurs. It’s only Walygator, we’ll let em off.
Speaking of Valhalla.
The log flume was somewhat shorted than expected, comprising of a single drop.
Managed to last until the end of the day (without even noticing the time fly by) by spacing out the intense laps on Monster and I didn’t mind the park as a whole, as it has a certain crummy charm about it. They were announcing the live progress of the French team in their world cup game while guests were on the rides, to the sounds of cheers or groans, so they know how to crowd please.
Spotted this on the way out, which I thought was a very nice touch. They’ve got a bit of a museum building with some park history.
A B&M wheel, not for sale.
I remember him.
Walibi Schtroumpf. Gotta be the best Walibi park name.
Monster was relocated from Japan. No mean feat for a ride of that size.
Many people were gathering outside the park and sweating profusely in preparation for a semi-marathon. The car at this point, perhaps falsely, reported the outside temperature at 50°C as we got back in for another couple of hours drive to the hotel. Who were the real nutters here?
I’ll lump the last few days in together, as there’s only one more brief jaunt in a park to keep things on topic.
The 2am flight was to get us back into Seoul and meet the strict criteria to be able to attend the filming of K-Pop chart TV show Music Bank as part of an airport ‘transit’ experience.
We landed at 5am and proceeded to camp out the desk that would later open to distribute the tickets. The grumpiest man in Korea showed up for the morning shift and very reluctantly handed over the goods after some aggressive questions, without ever looking us in the eye.
Got to the hotel some time mid-morning and went to sleep then woke up mid-afternoon and headed to the TV studio. Getting inside went a lot more smoothly than last year now we knew how things worked, but it had become even more complicated within, as they’ve started to semi-enforce a seating plan. We learnt before that the locals like to sit in groups of their own fandom to show a stronger presence of support, but in theory anyone that was automatically designated a good viewing spot could kick someone else out or ask security to do it for them. Didn’t realise this was happening at all until someone approached us and sent us on our way, and then our actual seats (which were in a terrible place) had already been taken by a huge group, so ended up in a very prime spot nervously waiting to be moved again.
Show itself was suitably spectacular, but not quite up to the standard what we had the previous year. There’s a lot of luck involved in who is going to be promoting at the time and we just happened to catch a disproportionate amount of groups that we knew and liked last time, this year slightly less so…
M/V] NORAZO(노라조) – CIDER(사이다) NORAZO’s New Single Album [CIDER] Now Available on : ▶Bugs : https://music.bugs.co.kr/album/779918 SUPER SOUND, BUGS! http://www.bugs.co.kr
To this madness. Performed not once, but twice.
Luck was irrelavant though, considering who we found and met in Japan, along with what was going to happen to us the next day.
Not being as destroyed as we expected from that experience, we managed an extortionate amount of shopping that evening, which then led me to having one of my genius ideas in the middle of the night – Let’s go back to Lotte World tomorrow. And we did.
Day 15 – Lotte World
Basic premise of the visit was that we didn’t get Pharoah’s Fury last time and it would be rude not to pop in and ride Atlantis again, considering how close we were going to be to the place later that day anyway.
Ended up at the South Entrance somehow, which I didn’t know existed. I remember running through a mall last time and being spited by how quickly the fastpasses dried up due to how insanely busy some of the rides get here. This entrance was on an unassuming street with only a small gathering of people waiting for them to open the doors.
It was also directly under the bridge to the outdoor section of the park, so great for running to said fastpasses. Despite being specifically told not to run today, everyone did and we joined in, managing to bag a morning slot for Atlantis as well as jump in the main queue for a brief 30 minute wait.
The ride experience was mostly as I remember. An amazing station with the clapping and singing and pushing of big canvas bag trolleys for loose belongings on the offload platform.
Atlantis Adventure
A layout with some fantastic moments, but full of deeply questionable pacing issues. The main difference was that last visit I thought the first indoor hill after the launch was the standout airtime moment, but this time it was the one into the archway that nearly cuts your head off.
This one. Also more mist!
And a new sponsor.
Comet Express was broken sadly. Would have liked to give it another go after how ridiculously good it was. Pharoah’s Fury then.
Had a great queueline that was mostly empty, then some very efficient batching going on in the station. Cars had netted pouchies for bags but we were specifically told not to use them. On the lap bar it goes. Hope it ain’t too intense.
Riding Indy on the same trip may have hurt this slightly, it was probably all very impressive, but more of a return to the out of place jerky movements I was used to from the hardware and there’s a little ‘outside’ section here that breaks the magic somewhat. Don’t remember a particularly spectacular ending either, seem to recall asking where was the fury?
Forgot French Revolution did that, even without wearing the VR.
Don’t remember them having an ice rink before.
Went back outside to use the fastpass we picked up earlier. By this time the machine had already sold out and been covered up for the day with the standby queue, as seems to be the norm, stretching way beyond what it can physically hold and out into the various pathways around the area.
Comet Express still broken. Tried to find something else to do.
Ended up with Fly Venture, not being sure what it was. Diagrams outside would have you believe it’s a Forbidden Journey ride system, but it turned out to be a flying theatre.
It had this elaborate Steampunk theming and queueline with a preshow featuring some inventor bloke talking about a fantastic journey travelling through time and space (with poorly translated subs). Could be interesting then. Nah, the ride had absolutely nothing to do with the theme and the preshow, just your generic flying over scenery (Korean in this case) in the present day. Ugh… deception.
Without wanting to commit to any large queues for something that wasn’t new to us, our visit came to an end.
I talked about luck earlier. Some time after this trip was fully booked and planned to the nth degree, another of our absolute favourite K-Pop groups announced some concert dates. Full blown concerts in this industry aren’t common to start with, it’s just not the way they make money/gain popularity. It was happening in Seoul. We were in Seoul for 72 hours at best on this trip. It was on the only full day we had there. The only day we had free. This was fate.
The tale of what was involved in acquiring the tickets alone would probably be longer than this trip report, involving serious levels of unprofessionalism on my part, copious amounts of spending, learning that consumer laws are irrelevant, becoming best friends with Paypal, becoming mortal enemies with my bank and hopefully ruining a Korean man’s life. So it meant quite a lot.
I won’t describe the evening beyond ‘lifechanging’, as you probably got bored long ago.
Here’s some token culture to finish things off with a semblance of sanity.
Worryingly far from the first time I’ve seen Koreans playing with their old timey torture devices.
Summary
New creds – 56 Total parks – 19 Jet coasters – 7 Shooting dark rides – 8 Best coaster – Eejanaika Spites – 8/64 (12.5%)
Time for our final day in Tokyo. We started off by clearing some anxiety that had been building all week after telling ourselves we’ll get Thunder Dolphin one evening, but hadn’t actually managed it yet due to a combination of K-Pop and typhoons. So let’s do it.
Day 13 – Tokyo Dome City
Tokyo Dome is a confusing little place. Half shopping mall, half spa, split across many floors and a road, combined with a distinct lack of visitors first thing in the morning. Got lost in a lift for a bit, then picked up some wristbands from the lovely staff and headed straight to the main event.
It’s policy here at each ride to hold a sign in front of your face containing all the rules and regulations in English, for you to show some level of understanding and then nod your agreement before entering. I admire their commitment to procedure, as this also happens on rerides, just in case something serious happened to you on your previous lap.
There’s some locker faff in the station, but the ride was only ever half full at most, so it mainly involved waiting around for things to happen. They’ve got some sort of OCD despatch procedure which involves many complicated gestures and a speech, pointing at various buttons and lights, then the staff members, who are all doing hand signals for what appears to be facts about the ride – height, speed, drop etc. It all ends with the obligatory waving as the ride begins of course. Cute.
#1 Thunder Dolphin
The familiar Intamin cable lift in the middle of a city is quite a surreal experience, but these things never give you too much time to think.
So it’s not fantastic. It’s fun because it’s interesting and cool, just not so much because of the layout, which suffers quite badly from being very forced into these surroundings.
The first drop is very good, naturally. There’s also a speed hill that packs quite a punch, and the way it comes into the big drop through this hole in the building is pretty special.
The rest involves large banked corners at 150ft in the air, a failed air time hill, a 150ft drop into the brake run and most importantly – a ‘so dumb it’s funny section’ of slow wonky hills, also 150ft in the air.
Did a very weird shooting dark ride here called The Dive to finally break the trend. It’s a standup, with elaborate seatbelts that we were told we didn’t need, in a car that holds 4 people in a square shape, facing outwards. It moves to the middle of each scene before activating said scene with lights, sounds and movement, then does a single rotation on the spot while you can shoot things. There weren’t many scenes.
Did the log flume for some reason.
Glad we did, as it has a little lookout post for the staff in the middle of the upper level meandering section, placed just so they can wave to you and tell you to watch out for the drop as you approach said drop. Cute. The ride was also surprisingly wet, so good for the heat.
Went over to another section of the park looking for their Spiderman type dark ride, but it’s all closed off and has been removed from the maps. Spite.
Did the ‘Big O’ Ferris Wheel. A karaoke option is available, but we had the normal pod which has a touch screen that can read out stories about the history of the park in various languages. Good stuff, though they used to have a lot more creds apparently. More spite.
Headed out of the park after a final go on the Dolphin, but kept the wristband on. Just in case.
We then got reacquainted with the concept of ‘fare adjustment’ (having to pay more for your ticket after getting the wrong one) during a very long journey to the next place. Those damn Tokyo trains.
A friendly bus driver was waiting at the station exit and he showed us the marvels of the automatic change dispenser that is built into their buses, so you can always pay the correct amount. On closer inspection, coulda walked the journey, but I’ll claim that we were preserving ourselves for the insanity of this particular day.
Tobu Zoo
Well this is far more unassuming than I was expecting.
Got as far as the ticket window to see one of those dreaded signs with pictures and names of rides on it. It would appear that the Megalite and one of the small creds aren’t open. Please no. Made friends with the staff lady, who explained the situation as “they’re doing their daily checks on the rides at the moment, it might open afterwards, but no guarantee.” This also included a phone call to the ride staff, which given how quiet it was, could well have been “open the ride for these lovely people.”
With no guarantee, we bought entry tickets only and wandered in for a look. Headed straight for the Megalite, where a man pretty much opened it in our face. Right, how do we upgrade to a wristband then? He led us over to another super nice person who was making sure we understood the cost implications and how much we would have to ride to make the transaction worthwhile. “4 goes on the big one? Oooh, brave!”
#2 Kawasemi
So we had it to ourselves for the afternoon, which could have been amazing, but I’ve found again that they don’t all ride the same and the original is still far superior for whatever reason. We physically struggled to marathon Piraten due to its intensity, but there’s something lacking here and it’s just going through the motions more than anything. Ugh, clones.
The true highlight was the smoke effect on the brake run, along with more OCD despatch checks where two staff make a point of walking to the front of the station, looking out at the sky and/or lift hill, pointing and nodding. ‘Yup, no rain/the ride hasn’t fallen over yet.’
#3 Tentomushi
Right, creds. This was round the corner, a classic Tivoli medium. Done.
#4 Regina
An older Intamin woodie loomed in the distance. Only wood of the trip, sadly. This’ll be interesting.
There’s always that fear these days that the next unsuspecting woodie will be cripplingly rough. This one was fine. A bit something and nothing in terms of what it actually did, the odd off the seat moment here and there, but with a functional shake and comfortable trains, so… ‘a bigger Elf’ or ‘slightly better than the Vekomas’, take your pick.
The final cred was indeed down, and remained that way. It had engineers on their backs under the station track most of the time. Ah well.
Another park, another Ferris Wheel. This one had stuff about cheese, including a narrating girl that was enjoying eating said cheese in a questionably pleasurable manner. Then it turned into anime music. Classic.
Slithered round the zoo for a bit, ending up at the complete opposite end of the park which had another entrance, but headed out the way we came to save getting lost, bus and all.
Don’t know why I imagined this place as a significant park. It was far more low key and in line with a lot of other places in Japan – friendly, but a bit run down and haven’t done anything exciting for at least 10 years. Grab them while you can.
Decided that was enough parks for now and headed back into the city for some other bits. In mental preparation for the following days, we completed our ritual of hitting every music shop in town, searching for stupidly rare K-Pop albums. A ritual that very often borders on the excessive.
Went to heal at the Pokemon Centre.
This one had a far more impressive selection than Osaka, along with some good displays, but no free gift sadly.
From there we went to the free observation deck in a government building. Night view wasn’t a great idea to be honest, a bit generic looking as cities. And still haven’t laid eyes on Mt. Fuji.
Normal people would go back to the hotel and sleep at this point, but we picked up our bags from the hotel and headed to the airport for our 2am flight back to Korea. There was method to this madness, honest.
And here we are again. No monorail required for the main park as we’d learnt the walk the previous day. Had a slight shudder walking past the bus terminal again (looking completely different) and we were soon through the entrance gates, slithering through the crowds that had all got stuck around some singing thing in the main street.
Day 12 – Tokyo Disneyland
Headed over to Big Thunder and grabbed the first fastpass of the day, then went for the main queue of Splash Mountain. Many mountains.
Didn’t really know anything about this attraction. I’d heard the name obviously and knew it was a water ride, but that was it. I like the setting and the framing of the drop with the thornbush, it’s all rather well done.
Just seems a little odd to have it a stones throw away from Big Thunder, with another similar looking mountain and setup. I was imagining ways to fit them both in the same area, but maybe that wouldn’t work narratively.
Based around cult classic Song of the South, the dark ride sections of this are a huge part of the ride and really impressive, making it all a lot better than I was expecting. It was a lot of fun and a great start to the day.
Haunted Mansion Holiday was round the corner. The building hasn’t got anywhere the same presence as other iterations, just being stuck on one side of the path opposite Fantasyland stuff. It was running with its ‘Nightmare Before Christmas’ overlay. This made the preshow a bit weak, as rather than being somewhat scary, you just get a cartoon face appearing in the ceiling saying “Merry Christmas!” (in early September). Ride was interesting enough for being slightly different with this overlay, but all the familiar overused effects were there as well and it didn’t grab me in any particular way. Here comes the theme of the day, and an unfortunate side effect of visiting many of their parks – not as good as Paris.
#1 Big Thunder Mountain
Fastpass time. There’s always a great sense of joy associated with these mine trains. A bit of a buzz in the station, the excitement as the trains plough in on both sides. And off we go.
It’s good, particularly visually, but rides more like a Seven Dwarves, tamed down like their Tower of Terror. The wild and out of control aspect of the Paris version is severely lacking. At least it seemed to be more reliable.
Got this weird syndrome where I can’t remember what order things happened at Disney. Everywhere else is normally quite straight forward.
Jungle Cruise: Wildlife Expeditions?
They may not be good at maintaining a sinister atmosphere, but if there’s one thing the Japanese staff excel at, it’s narrating boat rides. And the Oscar goes to… whichever girl we had. The performance was ridiculously intense and hilarious and the ride was rather secondary to it to be honest. Shame less stuff happens during the journey. Not as good as Hong Kong.
There’s a train ride above it that turned out to be much more than a train ride. Starts out stereotypically western, travelling round the water and past the paddle steamer.
Goes round this.
Then ends up chugging through tunnels with dinosaurs fighting. Think they copied Quancheng Euro Park with that idea.
Picked up a fastpass for Space Mountain at some point, which put us outside Star Tours: The Adventures Continue. All I’d heard is that it had been updated from the original, but didn’t know what that entailed – a slightly different video including one of the planets from the prequels. Best part of the ride is the instruction video where the demonstration contains wookies and everyone dressed up Star Wars style. Being an unhealthy fan of the films, they don’t manage to capture anything special in these rides. There’s so many things you could do better with the brand and it leaves me with an overwhelming feeling of ‘meh.’
I remember going on a stupidly long walk past a construction wall several times. Not sure what was so fascinating about the wall, it was plain blue with a couple of Disney logos on it, but everyone was completely obsessed with having their picture taken in front of it. Is Frozen going there? Nah… that’s not popular any more.
The walk first took us to Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin. This was good, mainly for being different. There’s a whole lot of craziness to it, including spinning cars, so it did the job well.
#2 Space Mountain
Back to Space Mountain. The conveyor belt entrance with transparent roofing was deeply unpleasant in the intense heat of the day. Got on the ride, got dispatched within less than a second of the putting the bar down. Whoa, that was an intense start. Pulled out of the station, went left instead of right, through a curtain. Someone asks “is this Space Mountain?” I start laughing uncontrollably. We’ve ended up in the maintenance shed. The train stalls itself and staff have to push it all the way in, bowing and apologising profusely. Please don’t, this is amazing. We get instructed to climb out, then taken on a backstage tour through endless tunnels to end up back in the station and put straight into another train.
That may as well have been Space Mountain, cos this thing was poor. The music was off, the lighting wasn’t disorientating. It felt slow and weak as a ride. Not as good as Hong Kong.
Grabbed a fastpass for Monsters Inc and had a questionable lunch – back on track with their less than ideal food.
Except this. This was spot on. Time for the +1.
#3 Gadget’s Go Coaster
As well as expecting to queue a million years for these kids creds, for some reason I pictured them in my head as unceremoniously plonked on a patch of land, but they’ve done an insane job of making this one look good and it was another 10 minute queue, so well done. Guess no one really loves Gadget (who?).
I knew Pooh’s Hunny Hunt had a reputation of being rather good, but it exceeded all expectations in this format. There’s something so much more magical and exciting about these trackless dark rides, watching them go about their business around you, it’s like a step closer to humanising a vehicle. Or I’m just weird. The Tigger room is amazing, then things just get insane. Pooh does a Twilight Zone and drifts into the further, something which kept me laughing until well after the ride had ended, while we enter a room that can only be described as 1000 trackless vehicles (half of them containing characters rather than humans) dancing around each other in a drug fuelled frenzy. This isn’t the Winnie the Pooh I know, but I bloody love it.
Finally Tokyo, you’ve one-upped something.
Did Pinocchio’s Daring Journey for a laugh. It’s too fast to take in, and… the same?
Had no idea what Philharmagic was, but gave that a crack too. Sitting down on sofas in a weird lobby full of obscure posters.
Looks like it’s gonna be Hades on stage belting out some hits. Oh, no, the doors have opened and it’s a 4D cinema.
It was good actually. Donald Duck doing some black magic with Mickey’s orchestra and ending up in a load of other films for some musical numbers – Beast, Mermaid, Aladdin, Lion King, Fantasia (love it). There’s a strong smell of cake that lingers from Be My Guest onwards and an animatronic Donald ends up in the wall at the back of the theatre at the end. Can’t argue with that.
Time for Monsters, Inc. Ride & Go Seek.
They stole my idea from the last time I got bored in a Legoland and replaced a shooting ride with a ‘how many physical effects can you set off?’ ride, by using torch lights to hunt for monsters. It’s a clever idea, so I’ll let them have it. Fun too.
Pirates of the Caribbean is in a weird place in the park, so nearly forgot about it. Had a fantastic moment outside the ride, where it appeared that a cleaner had smuggled in a music player and suddenly burst into spontaneous breakdance in front of people. Then he went into the growing crowd and pulls out a girl who just happens to be rather good at backflips. They had their moment, well done them. If only it was real… I could claim it on the league.
They’ve added some film elements to the ride, which doesn’t really help it for me, but it contains a very breathtaking ship battle scene, which I don’t remember from the original. Got one of those deceptively huge drops in the dark chucked in as well. Liked it a lot. Not as good as Shanghai, obviously.
It was now ‘time killing’ time until the closing show, gotta get at least one for comparison haven’t we. What does one do when killing time at Disney?
it’s a small world. It’s fine really. The music is way less invasive than reputation dictates. They’ve also got bonus Disney film character models everywhere so you can play a fun game of spot all them in their various countries.
Had another go on Big Thunder, which was slightly improved by the night time and the lighting package on the sulphury geysery section.
Time to camp out the show. Oh, there was a parade first. Pete’s Dragon, Emporer’s New Groove, Treasure Planet, all the hits.
Thought we were going to be treated to the Paris experience with sitting on the floor for the performance, but with around half an hour to go, everyone spontaneously stood up. Ugh, my bag is heavy.
Normally these shows are pretty special right? A magical moment to end the day, a world class spectacle, lots of big tunes and tears. Disney at it’s finest. What followed was hilarious, but quite possibly the death of Disney. They’re on the 35 year anniversary at the moment, and the show was celebrating ‘the rides of Tokyo Disneyland.’ But, we’ve just done all the rides, and some of them ain’t worth celebrating.
They’ve got the usual song tying it all together about magic and dreams come true and life is a party and all that, but it came across as way too far up its own arse when it’s so specific to a day at this theme park and not just the brand in general. Mickey is titting about as always but the highlights were, in no particular order: low resolution footage direct from the Star Wars simulator, a celebration of the paddle steamer (I lost it hard at this point) and some flat rides no one cares about.
The actual highlight? Probably saying “Yay, the Pirates of the Carribbean theme”, because it reminded me of Shanghai. No, it was the paddle steamer, that was the defining moment. The moment it couldn’t recover from.
There were no fireworks, very few special effects, a couple of pyros and zero interesting graphics which were also steppy and of poor quality.
It ended to absolute silence. And then everyone left, probably all thinking ‘where was Let It Go?’
