Due to the very limited operating season of the region, I failed to hit all the parks in mainland Denmark on my previous visit. Still needed Fårup, Friheden and Drage Kongen had just opened… so lets check things out.
Might find a couple of recycled pictures of some rides from previous visits thrown in here because I was particularly lazy this time. You can probably spot the difference in the weather.
Day 1 – Legoland Billund
We landed in Billund with the sight of Polar X-plorer greeting us from the plane window. Unfortunately I had to endure a revisit in the morning so that Mega-Lite could get the creds. We ended up in an overflow car park at the back of the park which meant a good 15 minute walk around the perimeter to the entrance. It cost a stupid amount for the parking privilege as well, it’s Alton all over again.
The park itself was so packed full of people that it was a struggle to get around and I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with that, but as we would discover everywhere on this trip, Denmark seems unable to get big queues.
PolarX-plorer
Started with a couple of laps on the best coaster in any Legoland – the Zierer with the drop track. It had only a 10 minute queue and was then walk on after a short and well handled breakdown. Still found it to be a great family ride that gives you a little something to think about. Stop building wild mice, start building things like this.
15 minutes for the wild mouse, X-Treme Racers which had also had a well handled breakdown. It was trim braking itself to death after the big drop for some reason, not that it really mattered.
I didn’t realise the powered coaster Dragen could run 2 trains, must be some sorcery going on there. The dark ride section remains well kept and the outside section remains pointless.
Reminded myself how short and pathetic The Temple is, no wonder they decided to buy a second shooting ride for this park. Took a few confused seconds to pinpoint that it was playing the Tomb Blaster theme from Chessington.
Still don’t like Ghost. The hardware is a glorified frog hopper in a park with 3 perfectly suitable frog hoppers. The walkthrough is more of a chore now and the theming isn’t particularly enthralling.
Still like Ninjago, even though it seems impossible to get a hang of the actual shooting, waving arms frantically over sensors with no feedback. It’s a fun little sit down and a definite change of pace. In true Merlin style, the effects seem to have already been toned down from last year. Job done.
Tivoli Friheden
I was expecting a crappy Bakken atmosphere from this park for some reason, but this was a really relaxed place to visit. Just not so good on the coaster front. Didn’t end up taking many (any) photos here because after the nice looking entrance area it quickly begins to look like you’re in the Battlebots arena, with all the exteriors of the rides being covered by soundproofing plexiglass.
Had a moment of realisation that I’ve ridden too many uneventful coasters, as our conversation continued unhindered throughout the Pinfari looper that is #1 Orkanens Øje. Completely zoned it out. +1.
Was quite intrigued by the uniqueness of #2 Cobra, the world’s only Sartori Rides inverted coaster, but didn’t expect much from it. It rode about as well as a middle of the road Vekoma SLC and the layout was mildly interesting, most notably impressive for its use of space rather than the experience.
#3 Bisværmen, the bee themed SBF spinner was a thing.
2nd #4 Dragen of the day, the not quite a wacky worm was a thing.
The Zamperla spinner, #5 Tyfonen didn’t spin at all, by design. And here I was thinking it was just Japan that had weird ideas like that.
Haunted House was the only other attraction that caught my eye. It was a ghost train which stopped dead at screens several times to shoot zombies in a completely non-immersive fashion. Enjoyed the standard themed sections in between those moments a lot more.
I just had to try the SCAD tower, without really thinking too much about the implications. The staff were extremely nice and fantastic at leading people through the experience. While dangling over nothingness I was asked if I was “much of a screamer?” I replied that I wasn’t. The guy said: “I’ll scream for you then. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Splat. I’m glad I gave it a go, though I wouldn’t say it was an enjoyable experience for me. In my head there was very little fear going on, but the instinctive physical lurching reaction in my gut to freefalling backwards, when my body decided “I’m about to die”, wasn’t particularly pleasant.
Sat down on a bench and looked at some pictures to calm down, it did leave me buzzing a bit in it’s own way, then had a round of crazy crazy golf before calling it a day.
Broke the land speed record on the early morning weekend autobahn to get to the first park for opening as it was going to be a slightly more packed scehdule than the previous days, later wishing I hadn’t bothered.
Day 6 – Freizeitpark Plohn
Incoming rant: This place was a joke and far below the standards I had come to expect from the rest of Germany. The queue for entrance tickets upon our arrival was already about 45 minutes with just 2 windows open. This seems to be the ‘new entrance’ as there are another set of fancy gates not in use. It was not possible to purchase anything online, so everyone was buying tickets in person. It was also the final planned cash dealing of the trip for me, cos they’re a backwards bunch of spiters and I had specifically taken the time to verify that I had enough the night before to decide whether I needed to find a cashpoint. I did have enough. Just. Once we were one group of guests away from paying, I started to dig my money out and accidentally dropped a 2 euro coin which rolled to the family in front. A child picked it up and pocketed it in plain sight of the parents, who then just stared at/through me before entering the park as though nothing had happened. I still just had enough for tickets, but it would now involve some smaller change. The dire old woman at the admissions desk refused to accept a couple of 5 cent coins to make up the final total and I was flatly denied entry to the park with no negotiation or opportunity to speak to anyone else. I hadn’t driven all this way for nothing, so had to physically force my way back through the massive crowd of people waiting for tickets, no one was willing to give an inch of room – the queue was looking to be at least an hour long by now. Kicking up some serious gravel on the way out, I raced off to the nearest town to find a cashpoint. With some fresh crisp notes to slap in their face, we finally made it into the park about 2 hours after opening and now had little to no time to enjoy the visit, not that I think I would have.
#1 El Toro
Powered straight to the GCI woodie to try and remind myself why I had put up with all that nonsense. Mercifully the ride was suffering from Freischütz syndrome and was almost a walk on. One train operations and some questionable staff methods again turned that into a painful experience. A lone bloke in an umbro hoody and tracksuit was running everything by himself as follows: Check the seatbelts. Check his phone. Check the bars. Check his phone. Brandish a tatty A4 piece of paper with some rules printed on it and start lecturing everyone in the station for a couple of minutes, also pointing at a pub chalkboard which had the height restrictions written on it, in chalk of course. Bit late for height restrictions now we’re strapped in, I thought to myself. Checked his phone. Dispatch. What sort of hell have I entered?
The ride itself was good, as I would have expected, but not nearly good enough to justify the current situation. The sad thing is, it was probably the best coaster of the trip as well, packed with a multitude of airtime hills that never came close to matching the height differential of the first drop.
Seems I didn’t even get a good picture of it. Have another goat instead:
#2 Silver Mine
On to the next cred. Eh.
#3 Raupe
The park ungracefully turned from themed Wild West area to a field with a carnival wacky worm on it at this point.
The powered coaster #4 Miniwah was pretty damn sweet and a welcome change for being completely indoors and very well themed. The speed of the ride and level of lighting changes between laps, adding a bit more excitement to proceedings. Don’t see many of these getting built any more, but this was a worthy one to try and a very pleasant surprise.
#5 Plohseidon
Zierer family coaster with too big a queue. Eh.
Having blitzed all of the creds, decided there was time for a couple more laps on El Toro before hopefully turning my back on this place forever (until Mack spited me by threatening to build something good here).
With more gravel displaced, it was off to the next park.
Belantis
No issues getting past the friendly staff here. Cards were accepted and there was a cashpoint right next to the counters just for good measure. Shouldn’t have to take any notice of this trivial stuff.
#6 Huracan
Got the biggest coaster out of the way first. Not a fan of Eurofighters generally and this one is particularly unpleasant in the way that it rides through too many inversions, but not enough to stop me taking a second go just to make sure.
Skipped the kiddy racer cred, too intense (big for it). It pains me to see that these exist, knowing I can never again ride one. Almost as if Gerstlauer designed them with spite in mind.
#7 Cobra des Amun Ra
I’ll forgive them for making another satisfying family ride though. The station here was billowing a lot of nice smelling smoke effect.
#8 Drachenritt
Caught this one on a good day it seems. I’ve ridden some of these bobsleds when they’re being a bit underwhelming, but this one was picking up some decent speed before the couple of good hills.
There are far more mad houses in the world than I ever would have expected. Verlies des Grauens was themed to castles and wizards, like most of them. I found it to be one of the better ones for putting up with lack of understanding what’s happening – the preshows didn’t go on too long and the hardware interaction was satisfying.
Fluch des Pharao looked mental to begin with, but still managed to exceed my expectations on intensity. Getting into the boat is struggle as it’s just like a big inflatable dinghy. The floor is so thin you unnervingly feel everything going on beneath your feet – the conveyor, rollers and sloshing of the water, elevator lifts(!), then you start to feel rather vulnerable.
As the boat hits the water after the main drop, there’s a brutal natural braking effect that you have to really brace for in order to not chip a tooth, then it just starts crashing into concrete walls around this whirlpool monstrosity. Fantastic ride.
Love that pun too.
That was about it for the park, it has quite a lot of space and some good old-fashioned themed areas which would imply it has good potential to expand, if the world was like RCT, but it isn’t. I hope they give me a reason to return as I did like the place. It was refreshing in two ways – 1) having lots of misters out along the pathways to help with the heat 2) not being Plohn.
Upon leaving, I found out the parking barrier was supposed to issue me a token when we came in, but it hadn’t. The member of staff I went to for assistance was very understanding and helpful and gave me a free token to get out, saving us the parking cost for the day. An odd day overall. I had expected Belantis to be a bit crap and Plohn to be nice. Ended up with the complete opposite.
Day 7 was a painful 5 hour crawl back to airport through several hundred miles of constant traffic, along with far too many petrol stops in the still overly thirsty car. Overall it was successful trip with no particularly standout creds, which I knew would probably be the case, but some very nice places along the way. It’s a shame I’m running out of German parks way too fast.
It would be good to say the entire day was dedicated to the below park of such fine calibre, but it was mostly filled with mountains. Decided to go for Zugspitze: Germany’s highest mountain experience.
Parked up at the station below and jumped on the biggest cablecar I’ve ever seen, both in length and car size. It felt unnaturally huge with only 4 people in it, but still had that characteristic and unnerving bounce when it cleared certain sections.
What made this experience a little more interesting for me was the observation platforms they have near the summit, sticking out over the edge of the abyss.
The metal grilled floor and relatively low glass edges provided an almost paralysing sense of fear in heights in me that I hadn’t really experienced to such a degree before.
I can replicate the sensation best when holding a phone over the edge of an observation deck to take pictures, rather than with my own head, so it’s good to know my internal priorities are straight.
We signed a book at the top of the mountain and then walked down this winding pathway towards another of the cable cars that could take us back down, for a slight change of scenery.
Fear not, there was still time for a cred by the time we reached the car.
Märchenwald im Isartal
Hidden in this forest next to a bottle bank (not quite as glamorous as the previous) is another Gerstlauer family coaster.
Had several fun laps of the nutty squirrel, narrowly avoiding the low clearance trees.
Followed by a wander around many more fairytale forest exhibits. That’s enough of that.
The lack of crowds for the time of year surprised me on this trip. I had expected to struggle a little on the more medium sized family parks, but it was never really an issue at all.
Day 4 – Bayern Park
Terrifying.
#1 Freischütz
This was particularly apparent here, with their Maurer X-Car being a walk on all morning. Perhaps everyone got lost in the queue, as it is an actual maze at some points. Or perhaps it is true that this ride doesn’t meet the target audience of the rest of the park. Gave it several goes throughout the visit and was left mostly confused.
The inverted top hat was a nice element, but the rest of the layout seemed a bit shakey at times and trivial rather than fun, there were no other stand out moments other than a crushing intensity throughout the loop and following corner.
I find X-cars can be quite hit or miss. At the time, I believed this one to be a miss, but looking back it’s probably more my type of thing than I realised – forceful and a bit of a mould breaker. I just didn’t know it yet.
#2 Achterbahn
Ticked off the Tivoli large.
#3 Froschbahn
And the Tivoli small. I believe their next investment will be a Tivoli medium.
Had a nice walk through the woods and found a quaint little boat ride with a mouthful of a name – Rundbootfahrt durch Schloss und Grotte (and a dark ride section!)
The questionable rapids ride had a good out of control, tubey drop section where it came close to clearing the side and exploding in a fireball.
Was a little disappointed to find the hardware inside Thaolon, what I had written down as another ‘dark ride drop tower’ was a tad on the small side, with elves and sparkly lights. Could have been worse.
There wasn’t much left to do at this park except get my fill on Freischütz, so headed out earlier than planned to fulfil a few other backup plans.
Voglsam
Which began with a local farm for some Bobkart action. Great fun as always. Why can’t the farms near me have one of these?
Grass is always greener.
Please, let me have a ride.
No.
Rodel- und Freizeitparadies St. Englmar
Final stop of the day was a bit of a mouthful to say.
I admire this neat little place, making sure all the gravity on this big hill doesn’t go to waste.
#4 Voglwuide Sepp
The new Zierer coaster with its unusual consecutive lifts hills was up first. The use of the terrain resulted in some solid family fun with an interesting layout.
#5 Bayerwald Coaster
Alpine coasters have their good and bad points. With the brake lever in your hands, you can go full speed with a lot more conviction, but there’s a little something lacking when you’re tied to the rails and aren’t thinking ‘I’m gonna crash this’ in the back of your mind.
The non-alpine coaster alongside it brought that feeling straight back. I particularly like these ones with the big upright backrests for maximum comfort, the backless seats are crippling on a long lift hill.
The park website for Fantasiana having bold claims of being home to the best dark rides in Europe caught my attention during the planning of this trip, although it was a little out of the way.
The journey down into Austria was somewhat stressful due to the fact I forgot to research any implications of the country border crossing here and many signs along the autobahn were giving indication of a permit or sticker being required for driving on their neighbour’s roads. I became sure that at some point I was just going to race up to a toll booth type situation and have to have an awkward conversation complete with language barrier about how much I had messed up. Luckily after much German sign scrutinising there was a break off point in the centre of the road, before we reached the border, that sold the stickers on the spot for no more than a few Euros.
Day 3 – Fantasiana
The entrance to the park takes you past an indoor walkthrough section with fairy tales in display cabinets. A very common theme in this part of the world.
Sindbad’s Abenteuerreise was somewhat more scare orientated compared to the adventures that I had imagined and the result was a rather loveable and quirky ghost train type experience.
The queue had this bloke waffling on about something while water gushed from his mouth and that was only the first of many delights.
#1 Wild Train
My first experience with a Pax coaster and visually there’s something off about it. The hideous shaping makes for a great ride though, supplying vicious airtime way beyond what anyone would expect for something this size.
He’s definitely not ducking there is he? The clearance in parts seems way off for standard regulations and that’s part of the charm – I like a bit of real peril with my rides.
Knightsride Tower was running on a time slot basis. This was a really good attraction as well.
The queue had smoky animatronic dragon and spiders. The ride that followed was a very interesting drop tower sequence compared to other rides of this ilk, utilising various positions to present you with actual dark ride scenes, along with good music and bonus effects. Although the drop itself was short, it was well timed and packed a punch.
Mami Wata was yet another hit, squeezing a good amount of fun into a tiny space with the use of turntables and elevators with the signature craziness of a Hafema build. The ride also comes with its own ImaScore CD, which was instantly purchased and remains one of my favourite theme park tracks.
They had a train with some dinosaurs, all the rage these days.
They even booked a band for the day.
Killed some time with re-rides until after lunch, when Castle Dracula opened. This was a scare attraction that started out with a solo trip through a mirror maze and then became many animatronic and effect based scenes. It acted as though it was quite an intense experience for a very family orientated park, with a couple of groups leaving the queue prematurely during the warning announcements. This seemed a little unnecessary from my assessment of the inside, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.
While the bold claims on the website may not be fully true, Fantasiana is definitely a little gem of a park with some very good attractions as well as probably having the nicest atmosphere of the whole trip.
Satisfied with the success of that find, we raced back over the border for this jolly fellow.
Freizeitpark Ruhpolding
This park is hidden away deep in the woods somewhere, filled with lots of play equipment, plus more dinosaurs and fairy tales of course.
#2 Gipfelstürmer
It is also home to a small Gerstlauer shuttle coaster, which is somewhat of a rare breed. Gipfelstürmer is very good fun for its size, the flat section of track at the top of the reverse spike lift hill means that the back seat gets whipped forwards into the first drop with quite a jolt. Another snappy twisted hill moment also means there’s a few more forces going on compared to the Vekoma equivalents. It has a great name to say as well.
No, that’s a crane in the background, not another cred unfortunately. The park were building a water slide or something.
Arrived bright and early the next morning for the park with the lowest capacity rides ever. Nothing here seats a decent amount of people in one go, so what appears on the surface to be a quiet park can easily get some significant queues.
Day 2 – Skyline Park
This park has become somewhat of a testing ground for Maurer Rides, being home to more than one first-of-their-kind installations. They also have a bit of a repetetive naming system for their attractions.
Nothing opened for the first half hour or so, but a queue began to form outside #1 Sky Rider and we joined in. This unique Caripro Gryoflyer seemed like a fun idea, but wasn’t particularly interesting. The cars have four seats facing in towards a thick metal pole that suspends you from the track. You can spin the car by this pole yourselves, but it looked like too much effort and never really got going in the hands of anyone else, particularly with the limitations of the layout.
#2 Sky Wheel
I was dreading my first (and the world’s first) Sky Loop as the lift hill inverts before the ride even begins and I particularly hate long periods of being held upside-down (which might seem strange for this hobby, but it’s not actually that common to be held like it). Grabbing the first train of the day meant it was over with quickly. I was quite surprised by how much this ride didn’t offend me, it was actually reasonably fun once the start was over, which happened to be just on the limit of how much I could bear.
#3 Sky Spin
Quite surprised by how much this did offend me. Stock model Maurer spinners seem to lack a certain spark that their custom models often have.
#4 Achterbahn
Usually Schwarzkopf have something rather special to offer, seemingly ahead of their time as a manufacturer in the previous century. Sadly this Wildcat model is a rather uninspired layout that rides like a more structurally sound Zyklon Galaxi at best.
Having planned the entire trip around the most offensive ride construction project of all time, I was suitably disappointed to see it wasn’t finished.
Probably should have queued for the Bobkart earlier. It took about an hour for every child in Europe to board. I do love them though, the self controlled burst of acceleration is always surprisingly powerful in what feels like a very exposed environment and this one didn’t disappoint.
Did my first and last Butterfly and Bayern curve in this park too. They don’t count.
Although the rides at Skyline Park were interesting, none of them were particularly good and certainly nothing was worth queuing for again, so we headed out for something that wasn’t a theme park.
The village below Neuschwanstein Castle seems to be about 50% car park, but finding a space was still a painful experience with many signs out front saying full and attendants that were difficult to negotiate with. From the village, a bus takes you up to the top if you’re on a tight schedule/not an avid mountaineer.
Although not usually my thing, I have to admit it does look great when you get there.
I got addicted to Germany at some point in 2016. There’s something very satisfying about doing road trips over there (autobahn efficiency?) For this particular jaunt we hired a car in Frankfurt and had 1 night near there, 1 night near Leipzig and did everything else out of Munich, totalling about 2500 miles. For a lengthy hire in which I had gone out of my way to ensure an unlimited mileage option, they decided to provide me with a very thirsty ‘hot hatch’. This left me torn, as it was fun while on the road, but I spent as much time in petrol stations as I did making progress. Bastards.
Day 0 – Holiday Park
Decided to hit the ground running by taking advantage of a late opening day and trying some night rides on the multi award winning Intamin hyper. I imagine most parks would think there was something wrong with you for showing up and paying full price at 9pm, but from previous experience this place seems to have somewhat of a cult following even with the locals, so no eyelids were batted.
Expedition GeForce
I still found it to be a great ride when measured in moments – some of the airtime is rather ridiculous, but I find it a little too much of a one trick pony these days compared to the more recent world beaters. The trims, uneventful corners and everything in between the signature hills just take me out of it a bit.
Day 1 – Legoland Deutschland
54 Legolands in and I’ve almost decided they’re not worthwhile parks to me now. It’s a shame the creative and unique side of their respective Minilands can’t be reflected in the ride line-ups.
#1 Drachenjagd
Started off with the smallest coaster. Gerstlauer are really good at this size of ride and luckily for me there’s plenty more of that around this region.
#2 Feuerdrache
Their Dragon coaster was unusually rough compared to clones 10 years its junior, which isn’t a good sign. At least it was running thirty trains at once in true German style.
Unforunately I can’t make the same excuse for #3 Project X – Test Strecke, which behaved considerably worse than other Mack wild mouse models of the exact same age. You don’t need to know what they look like. My camera didn’t.
Also spent too long in the sun waiting for a 4D cinema show. Can’t remember which film I saw at which Legoland anymore, which shows how much of an impact they make.
Surprise hit of the park was Jungle X-pedition. It featured a dark ride section and a backwards drop. The signs of a quality attraction.
Having the same boats as Valhalla only added to it.
The train around the park offered some rare shade and little else.
The highlight of Miniland.
One of those spiteful fairs with the face of a wacky worm cred on the poster, but nothing when you get there.
They’ve outdone Space World by freezing people in a pool.
Juvelen.
Foreshadowing.
A little disappointed with this Legoland, but I don’t expect much from these parks any more due to having already done most of what they have to offer in other places. Minilands are always fun for about half an hour and the boat ride was nice to see but without any other standout innovations, I can’t see any of the Legolands suprassing Billund’s lineup. Maybe they want to keep it that way, as it is the original.
We didn’t get on very well with our trail of hurray through Belgian parks last year, but remained optimistic that this was the ‘better half’ of what they had to offer that we were tackling today.
Day 2 – Bellewaerde
Arrived for opening and immediately had to change tactics after being sent round to a different car park entrance than expected. Stood half-sheltered by the gates amongst 500 smokers while it lashed with rain and the lion mascot teased us all. Headed straight for Huracan as it was closest and had a billed opening time of 10:00.
#1 Huracan
Queue opened at 10:15 and we ended up on the second train of the day. This Zierer family coaster was surprisingly good with its impressive and foreboding dark ride section and immediately brought about joking statements such as ‘better than Parc Astérix.’ The coaster section was more substantial than expected. I do appreciate an indoor layout that gives you a little something to think about.
Checked out the Boomerang and found that didn’t open til 10:30. The other cred? Checked out the other cred and found that there was a huge queue and they were only filling 4 out of the 500 rows on the train. #2 Boomerang it is. The queue opened on time and we ended up on the first train of the day. Endured that successfully and went back over to the other cred to see they were now using 5 rows instead of 4. Skip.
Headed over to the new alpine coasters instead, now rather worried that the queue would be heaving. The blue side seemed to be broken as we started the substantial climb to the station but by the time we reached the top it was running. Throughput was expectedly poor, but it hadn’t drawn the crowds yet so queued about 20 minutes a side.
#3 & #4 Dawson Duel (Green & Blue)
Didn’t find it particularly well executed. Though the name may imply, there is no real duelling as 1) they weren’t attempting to dispatch both sides at the same time and 2) you have no control over how fast you go. As an alpine coaster it was a weak layout, being short and just corners. Oh well. +2.
#5Keverbaan the Zierer Tivoli was at last having all of the train filled, but the queue was still massive and being hindered by constant groups of unknown origin getting batched up the exit and taking any part of the train they felt like. Sucked up the 40 minute wait for completion, grabbed some lunch for the car and hit the road.
Plopsaland De Pain
It seemed we were doing well on time, but it didn’t take long for the combination of Belgium and Plopsa to strike us hard and evidently leaving us with no time for any pictures.
Took the long way round to Anubis first to find an empty train stuck on the block outside the station. “Well that’s broken.”
Began the ticking off task instead and rode the Zierer Tivoli, #6 Viktor’s Race. 2 of these back to back, such joy.
Then #7 Rollerskater the Vekoma junior. More joy.
#8 Anubis: The Ride was fixed by now, so entered the nice looking building. Didn’t like the fact they ran out of pictures to put on the wall halfway through the queue and started recycling the same ones. Better themed than the Anubis drop tower queue at least. The ride wasn’t bad. Better than a Eurofighter any day, but a shame it wasn’t as smooth as its brother Lynet. A bit rough going into the top hat element after the launch, but otherwise fine for a Gerstlauer that can never truly perform with shoulder restraints.
#9 Supersplash seemed to draw a weird crowd and operations were painful to watch as the wrong number of people were constantly piling into each row and the staff were at a loss as to what to do. Apart from the novelty elevator lift, this water coaster was terrible. No payoff, then drifting around in hideous looking water for far too long and sitting outside the station for 5 minutes while people continued to mess things up.
Time to improve the day with some GCI goodness…
Speiti the Ride was down, a small crowd gathered outside the entrance. Within a few minutes a security man appeared to give the all clear to the staff member at the entrance and led us through as far as the stairs. Upon reaching the stairs, something changed their minds and we were asked to all leave again. We camped out the ride entrance for the next 2 hours in the hope we could get some good laps in once it reopened and it was quite amusing and confusing to watch. The security presence followed by staff with a first aid kit implied something had happened to a guest and the ride itself was fine. However these particular staff walked off into the sunset shortly afterwards and the ride remained closed. Some time later an engineer turned up, went into the ride area below the lift, went in the shed, came out shortly after and walked off into the sunset. The ride was slowly bleeding staff with no-one coming to replace them and eventually an over-confident management type came to the entrance and started telling people “technical problems” and gesturing at his watch as if to imply “look at the time, it ain’t worth reopening now.”
Well that’s unfortunate, let’s ride the powered coaster #10 Draak then. They’ve somehow managed to break one of the cars on this to the extent that the occupants have to get out of the vehicle and mess about with the restraints themselves under the instructions of the staff before it can run properly. Of course with the way the current clientele were behaving and mostly useless staff, this is a complete nightmare to behold. Got there in the end.
That was pretty much day over now, with a bit of safety net and a chunnel train to head back to. Depressingly wandered over to the exit to buy a parking ticket. One machine was broken, the other had just eaten someone’s credit card while they stood there thinking ‘Plopsa, man…’ Followed them into guest services where they were told to wait by the machine thinking ‘Plopsa, man…’ The remainder of the parking ticket queue was then left to stand at the desk waiting while the single member of staff decided creating and printing annual passes was a priority. 10 minutes of leaning further and further over the desk occurred, money in hand, before the staff member starts chatting on the phone…
Walked into the car park and saw that Speiti was bloody running… “Should we?” “RUN!” Blagged our way back into the park with a combination of brandishing the parking ticket like madmen and making gestures about ‘the wooden one.’ Narrowly avoided a Samba (told you it would come back) in the form of a parade that decided to get in our way. Did a literal Indiana Jones through a restaurant that was closing its shutters. Got a stitch. Got into the queue. 20 minutes of chunnel anxiety queue passed relatively quickly and we got our single lap on #11 Heidi The Ride.
It’s a decent little woodie filled with plenty of moments of moderate airtime, with a fairly straightforward out and back layout, so not too many surprise corners. About on par with my expectations, which for GCI are quite high. Best coaster in Belgium (that wasn’t hard was it?)
Should have stayed for more. We got to the channel tunnel check in two minutes late and were therefore reassigned to another train three hours later. Ended the trip with a glamorous Burger King surrounded by ‘those English-French holiday makers.’ Nice.
There’s a few parks in Europe we always considered going to for what seemed like forever. Parc Astérix is actually pretty close to home, if your home happens to be in the south of England so it seemed silly to have been to all these far flung places without trying a couple more ‘local’ parks with supposedly very decent lineups.
And with this thought, the summer channel tunnel tradition was born. Had enough of that flying faff.
Day 1 – Parc Saint Paul
This little gem of a park was on the way down to the main event. Thanks to the Sat Nav, we ended up unnecessarily in the overflow car par. A few other cars had done the same and were beginning to figure things out, but we’d made our bed and sucked up the longer walk. The quirkiness of this place begins at the gate, where the 8ft tall security guards are checking guests bags. That night I was haunted by dreams of being too tall for creds.
Started off with #1 Pomme, one for Merlin – world’s first Wacky Worm with fog machine. Spectacular theming on this ride, wish a few other parks would put a little effort into disguising their inferior hardware like this. Plohn.
Are Pax rides consistently crazy? Yes they are.
#2 Wild Train
Being a shared lap bar on Wild Train, I made the statement “I’ve got some clearance here” as we crested the lift in the back seat. Some entertainingly substantial ejection followed moments later. They underestimate themselves by having seatbelts in the back row but not the front. It’s an equally wild ride at both ends and a lot of fun, perfectly blurring the line between poorly built and deservedly intense.
Got a +1 on a spinning wild mouse, #3 Une Souris Verte.
I couldnt quite work out what I was looking at from the car park in terms of the track for the other Pax in the park. The only thing I knew going into this ride was that it had crashed in the past.
#4 Formule 1
Impatiently pacing tigers in a small cage next to the ride seemed quite fitting for the daredevil attitude of this hardware. It was a unique experience, but being a bit like a wild mouse in pacing, perhaps not as good as their other one in the park.
Got a +1 on #5 Mini Mouse Cartoon (not Tuff Tuff To-get) while discussing the many ways in which swinging from a pole on a piece of playground equipment, breaking a leg and being carried off is not a cred, though some consider it to be. (Yes, we saw that happen).
I assume Vekoma were trying to counteract the Paxness of this park when they did the design for #6 Aérotrain. Their junior coasters are far from the best of rides anyway, but something was seriously off with the uneventful layout of this one.
Loved this park, sits well inside the realms of friendly, quirky, interesting and not at all busy so you can really get the most out of half a day there.
Parc Astérix
In a change to the original billing, we decided to utilise both some extra long opening hours and their one-shot fastrack system to make sure this place didn’t screw us over. Turns out we didn’t need those hours at all…
As promised, guns at the entrance to the park and much confusion as to where to pick up the fastrack from.
Somehow ended up at Vol Don’t care first.
#7 Vol D’Icare
Highlight: Didn’t break down on us. Did later. Lowlight: Almost broke down on us. Block brakes took it to about 1Mph.
Keen to test my French, the info man nearby obliged with the French words “Zeus, Left and Photo” which I worked out to be Zeus, Left and Photo.
Picked up fastrack where Zeus left his photos and immediately went to see what #8 Tonnere de Zeus had to offer. I think my bag had a better time of it than I did, as it was forced onto the ride with me. The experience was all a bit underwhelming in the moment, but it’s slowly improving in my mind the more I think about it since. It’s got length, I’ll give it that. Highlight: A couple of corners I like to call the thigh wobblers. Lowlight: A couple of corners I like to call why do these exist.
#9 Goudurix
The notorious Vekoma looper is back on 2 trains thankfully. Really don’t see the issue with this thing, seems I laugh in the face of these rides people call awful. Just strap yourself in and feel the Gs. Highlight: Shouting about how alright the ride was as it hit a wonky corner and my bag goes flying across the floor of the car. Lowlight: So much unjustified hate.
#10Pégase Express is a good little ride with a fair amount of entertainment going on. You get quite a substantial journey out of it over the course of its many sections and it was a pleasant surprise not knowing much about this Gerstlauer family launch coaster. Highlight: Some train duelling going on with forwards and backwards cycles running at the same time. Lowlight: The bag policy started to bother me here. They’ve had some automatic dispensers installed in the station but don’t bother to use them. I’m now expecting to ride a B&M Invert with a bag wrapped round my foot…
Which may have made Ozlris more interesting.
#11 Ozlris
This thing didn’t deliver for me at all. To start with, it didn’t really impress me visually. Started in what should have been the best place – the outside seat at the back, on which the first drop gave me one swift baffes – French for punch to the head (so that’s more than Goudurix) and then it had a severely uncharacteristic rattle to it and did absolutely nothing interesting. It had weird tracking moments after the loop and after one of the many corners over mud (so that’s more than Goudurix). We both left the station and stood outside for a while thinking, not wanting to breach the subject to each other – “did this ride just kill B&M?” Gave it another chance later on an inside seat and it didn’t ride quite as crap or as boring. Half decent at best. Not what I wanted to be saying though. Highlight: Queue was quite good? Lowlight: I won’t say any more.
#12 SOS Numérobis (SOS El Nombre to me) Highlight: +1 Lowlight: I dunno, some jab at Ozlris being in the vicinity.
Rounded off the coasters in the park with #13 Trace Du Hourra (a Trail of Hurray). Good name for a cred run, we actually broke a new record for ourselves with most creds in a day here. One of the weaker Mack bobsleds. Didn’t get the theme. Highlight: Super efficient ride operations, haven’t praised them enough yet. Lowlight: Bag saga continues with the restraint trying to snap my phone in half upon exiting the ride.
Used the fastrack on Menhir Express the log flume for a laugh. It was my kind of messed up, with the weird rapid-like sections halfway down a tube sending waves over the side of the boat and then the surprise drop feature. A little too much French sweat in my mouth though.
Did the Madhouse, Le Défi de César at some point in all that and it was brilliant. Bit of a slow burner at the start of the preshows, but the fountain room was really great and I loved finally seeing a different take on the technology for the actual ride. It was very refreshing to see the screens on the wall and the swinging of the seats used to emulate the movement of a boat as opposed to a million other ‘it’s a room with some spooky stuff going on’ versions.
Narrowly avoided becoming part of a Samba (not the last time i’ll be saying that on this trip) in the form of a parade that was coming towards us and took shelter in a pizza restaurant to eat pizza and contemplate the park…
It’s alright I guess.
There’s a much better atmosphere than I was expecting and the operations are impressively quick. I suppose I just didn’t expect it be a one and done park. Since I knew of its existence, I’ve pictured it as quite a significant park on the theming and ride front, but there’s nothing at all now that makes me specifically want to come back for another visit. I had more fun on the mad house and the log flume than any of the coasters, and that doesn’t sit right somehow.
Best ride might have been Zeus as we wanted to give it another chance, but the queue was an hour long and trailing well out of the entrance before and after pizza, then it broke down. Couldn’t be bothered in the end and left the park early for some well needed rest.
I’ve subconsciously left this park as the last place of significance in Germany, mainly due to low expectations. Since they went and got Helix trains (and a new ride to go with them), I couldn’t hold off any longer.
The day started strong with nearly getting waved into an empty field which had nothing to do with the park, then getting waved into more overflow car parks and finally a strong smell of excrement emanating from the view of an SLC and the ‘worst wooden rollercoaster in the world’.
Day 2 – Movie Park Germany
A 10 minute walk around the perimeter, stuck behind smokers, was made slightly better by the skyline being punctuated by some glamorous Mack track. Some rare perfect timing allowed us to be amongst the first in the park and some forward planning meant we knew exactly where to head to be amongst the first on the new attraction.
#1 Star Trek: Operation Enterprise
Even the first time round, I found the preshow sections to be a little tedious. The first set of screens were just being blocked by other uninterested guests as some bloke I hadn’t heard of was talking. The beam me up section didn’t really have as good of an impact as it should have. The bridge however was very impressive to someone who knew what it was supposed to look like and the use of the screen there seemed most relevant, if you weren’t all restricted to queuing in a small portion of the room and, again, couldn’t see it past other guests.
The free for all seating choice was a welcome feature in the station. The one train operation was not. Started off in the front and felt right at home in those amazing seats. I liked the ride itself a lot. Combined with the triple launch trickery at the start, you get a decent length out of it, particularly in comparison to Gold Rush the previous day and there’s a good mix of sensations going on throughout the layout. The sequence of elements is very unique but flows completely naturally and the inversions in particular just feel so… right.
#2 Van Helsing’s Factory
Swiftly and successfully moved onto the indoor Gerstlauer Bobsled to beat the rush. 15 minutes and we were on, just enough time to appreciate what was in the queue but not long enough for it to become painful. I really enjoyed this one as well. Great interactive theming throughout the layout, which itself is finally different from every other one of these installations in existence. I nearly lost it upon seeing the second lift had tyres, my mind filling with dirty thoughts about a launch happening and then completely missed everything that was going on in that section. Managed to catch up on all the details with another ride later on.
2 for 2 so far Movie Park. Why does no one like you? On to the smaller creds. This area was far from ideal, the Vekoma Junior queue looked grim, tried and failed to suck up the queue for the Wild Mouse which looked OK, then got queue jumped by about 10 people and saw all the cars starting to stack in the station.
We caved and bought a speedy pass from the nearby Nickolodeon shop instead. Yes this pass is good value as it puts you straight onto all 3 creds in the sort of manner that makes you feel a little too superior and you get dirty looks from everyone else. The power of money.
#3 Ghost Chasers, the aforementioned mouse, was made much more interesting than it should be by 2 excitable Asian girls having the time of their lives behind us.
#4 Backyardigans: Mission to Mars, the aforementioned junior was 2 laps of meh, with 500 smoking Germans staring at us from a now doubly grim queueline.
We were even asked which seat we wanted on the Vekoma Suspended Family Coaster, #5 Jimmy Neutron’s Atomic Flyer. The response? “Don’t care, got the cred.”
Went for Mystery River while in the area and got dumped about halfway through the queue in a corridor of about 35°C. It was a fun rapids ride. Didn’t understand what was going on, but a decent amount of theming and water related peril through both indoor and outdoor sections.
Narrowly avoided a samba while leaving the area through a parade and stopped for a bite to eat, already reflecting on how this park is much better than its reputation.
Decided on the Lost Tunnel next, skipping over a gruesome looking 75 minute queue for a very lengthy ride experience. Another attraction that exceeded my expectations here. The ride portion itself wasn’t particularly good for an immersive tunnel as there was little interaction between the dinosaurs on screen and our vehicle as a presence in their world, or even between the 2 sides left and right, but the pre-shows and build up to the ride were very impressive. It’s a shame the dinosaur in the exit path is for optional viewing only. After the comment from the temple bloke about “some of them may have escaped”, I wanted an animatronic to jump out of the waterfall and the bridge to collapse from under us as we left the ride room. Too far?
With a bit of luck Star Trek was down to 15 minutes, assumingly because they had just added the second train at long last. Suffered the preshows again and grabbed our second go in the back. I enjoyed spotting a couple of extra details this time, such as the screen in the room with the transfer track reading ‘uploading evasive manoeuvres’, but one thing that really doesn’t help the whole experience is that it creates far too much build up when the ride itself is almost completely unthemed and there is seemingly no conclusion to the story. I felt they could have at least housed the brake run and had a quick video saying ‘well done lads, you saved the crew/you’re now Locutus of Borg.’ The spectacle all feels a little unnecessary to the hardware itself as it currently stands.
Time to see what’s the worst they can throw at us. #6 MP-Express the SLC is great before you even get on it. The industrial estate themed fastrack queue of unpaved stones and dirt through rusty fence towards a service road followed by old metal stairs into the side of an ageing warehouse is hilarious. The ride itself was again just comedy, no nasty roughness at all, just a weird forward and back sort of pumping action through some of the inversions which caused many surrounding screams of agony, while I can’t stop laughing at it all.
It feels like there’s nothing steel can do to me these days, but I have developed a slight fear of bad woodies after Grand National tried to take my hobby away from me. So it was with significant trepidation that we boarded #7 Bandit. The lift was over surprisingly quickly and then “Oh no, oh no……. Nope it’s fine.” We recalled the statement “worst wooden rollercoaster in the world” to each other as it took the first uneventful corner and then spent the rest of the ride in a laughing fit. Nothing wrong with it at all, actually quite enjoyed it.
Over to Time Bandits, where we got spited by a show time. (Yes, wrong name, but the dark ride names all seemed so generic to me they’d just blend into one, or something else, whenever I said them at the time).
Took our re-ride on Van Helsing to fix that. Amazed myself with how much I missed on the second lift, like the car bonnets jumping about, the big scary wolf/bear thing coming out at you from amongst the cars and then the screen of the flying demon thing carrying you up high and dropping you as you take the drop. Brutal laterals are a signature of this ride type and when it’s that dark in the back seat, you can’t even see it coming. Great stuff.
Over to Time Riders, straight in. Another impressive set of theming and preshows. The actor was really into it for the first section, and then the second section looked so good we were joking to ourselves about whether there is a ride at all? Or is this the final act. It could have been. Very glad there was a ride, as the simulator is viciously fun. Multiple moments of it just feeling like a car crash as you hit something on screen and get properly chucked about in your seat. I found myself willing it to hit more things as it went on.
Grabbed an ice cream before the last ride on our list, Bermuda Triangle. More expectations exceeded, having only seen the outside drop with an angle of about 10 degrees into nothing but station. There’s a huge surprise drop in the dark at the start that felt like it went on forever, followed by some weird old theming in the underground section and a cool projection effect. Soon after, you’re running away backwards from collapsing scenery, a little disappointed it wasn’t a drop. Finally the anticlimactic finish we all knew was coming. The boat also tried to kill us by nearly tipping over as we left.
Overal Movie Park Germany provided a good day out. It probably needed Star Trek to finally make it particularly significant, but the combination of multiple decent dark rides and at least a couple of above average coasters gave me a lasting positive impression.
Satisfied with what we had achieved in the park, it was time to assess our cred options for the journey back to the airport. A bit of research while tearing up some German roads brought us to the conclusion that it was “BillyBird or bust.” Sat nav would have us there for 5 minutes before last admission and we needed a fuel stop somewhere. This may be the time to mention it was by far the slowest hire car I’ve had in Germany, being a hybrid Yaris, but that wasn’t going to stop me. Eco mode off, stick it in ‘B’, draining all the juice from the unsatisfyingly linear engine and embarrassing endless better cars on the autobahn, the run was put back into cred run.
BillyBird
Easily made it in time and what a nice place to stick a coaster. Just somewhere for the Dutch to chill out with very friendly staff, a lake, some chairs, an artificial beach, lots of stuff for kids to play on and most importantly, a cred.
#8 Familieachtbaan
Scaled the stairs to the top and jumped on. The ride is good fun for its size, with a fairly exposed feeling in the bathtub shaped cars and at least a noticeable amount of force involved. Job done.
Took advantage of some of the chilling out ourselves while we were there as there would no doubt be a couple of hours delay on an evening Easyjet flight out of mainland Europe.
