Heading further north it was time to put the Lake Compounce passes into practice.
Day 3 – Story Land
Which seem to be quite a rare thing, as they didn’t understand the concept of free parking for a non-home park. It’s not that far is it..?
A slightly drizzly day and being what appeared to be rather off the beaten track led to a rather pleasant outing, beginning with #1 Polar Coaster.
The walrus on the train is living his best life for this quirky little terrain improved romp.
The main draw was of course #2 Roar-O-Saurus, another baby Gravity woodie.
It was absolutely wild for its size, a real standout and testament to when they nail it, they nail it.
The layout reminded me most of an amped up Oscar’s Wacky Taxi, to the point that I had to do a little research to check for similarities. While they share the first drop, a curved tunnel at the back and the concept of twice out and back, the dino is rather more twisted.
It’s probably those laterals that add extra oomph to all the silly but amazing little pops of air it manages to extract out of 40ft. Feels redundant to say they pack a surprising punch at this point, but this one really, really does, potentially more than any other of the size. Loved it.
And that’s the park. They’ve got a train, some woods, story book dioramas and a chance to have tea with Cinderella. But it’s all about one thing and it’s worth the trip.
We had two more points of intrigue on the way up to Canada for the night, but only one of them involved coasters, so
Santa’s Village (Jefferson, NH) 2025
Initially the concept of a year round Christmas themed park, not least an American one, honestly sounded like hell on earth.
But it was fine, much like the previous park, just a chill family day out in some greenery, with friendly and enthusiastic staff. And with what was to come over the next couple days and weeks, easily one of the best of the trip.
First up was the shooty dark ride. Great Humbug Adventure originally opened in 2000, but was given a full overhaul and upgrade in 2020.
No ghosts this time, rather humbugs, who are giving old scrooge a hard time. Some good old-fashioned, but modern, shooty dark ride fun. Well done Sally, again.
A three-looper SBF spinner this time – how exciting for #3 Poogee Penguin’s Spin-Out Coaster
And to close out, they’ve got a shiny new Vekoma in #4 Midnight Flyer. The first of this layout to open, it’s already branching out to at least 4 continents, but as a shining example to the quality of their products these days. Glossy smooth and just the right amount of poke.
I had naively thought that we could escape some of the more disgusting heat this trip, as prior to flying out literally every destination had been expecting a cool 21°C for the forseeable. While that came true for the first day, from here on out it was completely out the window and never really recovered. I’ll take this opporunity to apologise for having to uphold the tradition of a British man complaining about the weather while on holiday.
And so, now heading towards the mid-30s and with a sea of school buses containing school leavers descending on the park in front of us, we had a less than ideal visit to
Day 2 – Canobie Lake Park
To be fair, the crowds themselves were pleasant enough. This was no hell on earth at Hellendoorn, just excessively, excessively busy with a bunch of well-behaveds for what is essentially an unremarkable lineup.
The park isn’t really built to take a queue and as such most, if not all lines were already spilling outside entrances onto the pathways. In for the long haul we just went with the flow and waited a solid 90 minutes for the ol’ #1 Yankee Cannonball.
Not really worth that sort of wait, it had no choice to be a one and done but probably was anyway. It goes into the car park, does a few wooden rollercoaster things and then you get off and get on with your day.
We were clearly dealing with an age range that were ‘too cool’ for the #2 Dragon, so it only took a handful of cycles to get on this one. They were batching it super fussy and slow though, like let two into the station, personally guide them to the front row, sit them down and talk to them, before letting the next two in for the next row and repeat. Maybe something did kick off once. I expect nothing less, for a powered dragon.
There’s the lake.
The Mine of Lost Souls was pretty cool. A more trippy, out there Sally dark ride that didn’t involve shooting for a change. You go in the titular mine, but then end up in Egypt and laughing in the face of death, all kinds of fun weird. Recommend.
As yet another place hadn’t opened their ‘new for 2025’ SBF spinner, to much uproar, last cred in the park was expected to be a faff of low capacity unshaded misery. Thankfully we discovered / remembered the wrong #3 Untamed had a single rider line which offered some shade and a slightly more reasonable wait time.
It rides rather awfully from everything after the loop though, much worse than old mate Rage. Everyone just got off visibly red in the face and / or ears, complaining. Thus spawning a new phrase craze. Paultons, 2026!
And that was it for Canobie. Seemed nice enough on the surface, just didn’t really have the opportunity to appreciate it any better given the crowds. A tick off the list.
Funtown Splashtown USA
Next up was a park I was anticipating slightly more, after putting themselves on my map in 2023 with the opening of another awesome looking Sally dark ride.
But they also have a reasonably large CCI woodie, which was kinda cool. #4 Excalibur was playing a medieval version rendition of Linkin Park songs in the station, definitely put a smile on my face for that.
As for the ride, it starts strong and in the trees with some pretty wild moments. Then it forgets what to do with itself about halfway through, in the trees with some pretty boring meandering. Not bad.
And a #5 Wild Mouse. No need for an opinion here.
Business out of the way it was time to soak up the Whispering Pines Hotel. Queueline animatronic that can be entirely skipped is amazing and also vastly underappreciated.
And the ride itself is pretty damn good too. Shooting ghosts again, but in a far more story-based manner and with a lot more technologies involved in the decoration. It’s not as super atmospheric as I had perhaps hoped, but contains some really good figures, a sprinkle of magic here and there and a creepy cat called Katbattikus which I now own, so there was something for everyone. A personal highlight for sure. Recommend.
All in all, everything here was walk on, parking was free, wristband cheap after a certain time and on this occasion it was a great little place to spend a couple of hours.
Palace Playland
Back to business, there’s another couple of creds down the road, by a beach. Day parking is a scam here, as with most US seaside towns, but there’s some hourly street parking just one street over, by the little train station.
This is #6 Sea Viper, which is infinitely fascinating for being the largest thing Preston & Barbieri have ever built. You’re welcome.
And an SBF spinner not from 2025, called #7 Wipeout. No need for an opinion here.
Canada, eh? Though this was dubbed in spirit as the Canada trip, they’ve only got like 3 parks, so it seemed most fitting to combine it with more U.S. road trip shenanigans. As one of the last major countries for major coasters I’m yet to tick off, this particular adventure been looming on the horizon for some time now. just waiting for that something special that isn’t a B&M to seal the deal. Something special that isn’t a B&M came along.
And then we all know how this is going to go down…
Day 0
Just an uneventful day of travel, nothing to see here. Flew into JFK and went to pick up a car. The car they wanted to give us had a massive bulge in the side of the tyre, had been crashed into by New Yorkers many times and was clearly dangerous. Told them to sort that out and give us another one. Second car wasn’t a death trap, so headed north and went to sleep.
Day 1
The first real loss of the trip was Playland Park (NY), as they failed to open much of anything for the year due to negligence. Nothing too exciting, but a woodie and an Old Mill down for the count. Here’s hoping they can fix things up.
Lake Compounce
And so the first park of the trip and first task in hand was to collect our season pass for the Palace Entertainment parks that are no longer Palace Entertainment. Most of them are up this way so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to save some money and smash them out.
Technically we hadn’t even paid for the season passes however, as most U.S. websites continue to operate on the assumption that the world only consists of America. Though the framework of the forms allows you to enter foreign details, 9 times out of 10 you just end up getting your payment denied anyway.
What we did have was an email chain back and forth with a staff member documenting our struggles and a promise to honour the online price at the time of our struggles, in person. This meant absolutely nothing, as the price has remained the same through at least 4 more ‘must end soon’ ‘sales’ since January, but it’s the thought that counts. After quite a bit of back and forth at the guest services window, though with no real issues, we headed in, passes in hand.
There’s a pleasant enough vibe in and around the entrance to Lake Compounce, if we ignore the big ugly orange coaster, with signs celebrating the statement that it’s America’s oldest amusement park. Sometimes these claims feel like a stretch when the source is traced back to a man in a field conducting scientific experiments in 1846, counting as an amusement park, but we’ll roll with it. My main point is that I’d got the impression this place had become rather rundown. In fact, it was looking kinda fresh.
#1 Wildcat was clacking up the lift upon entering and so the first thing to catch our attention. I’ll admit I was oblivious to the state of most of the wooden coasters on this trip, which led to a number of surprises. All that we knew was that some of them had had some work done on them at some point and so at any time we could be killed, or it could be fine.
What we didn’t want at least was what happened with the majority of the last 100 woodies in the US, providing nothing more than a sense of ‘I am on a wooden rollercoaster’. Sunglasses on, not caring, the usual works.
With short-ass GCI trains greeting us in the station (not the old ones pictured in memoriam), and plenty of visibly fresh wood, Wildcat delivered a slightly above average experience. I’d need a POV to recount the details, but it wasn’t rough, had a number of fun moments in either the airtime or laterals department and was a solid start to the trip.
What wasn’t a solid start to the trip was walking up to the entrance to Boulder Smash to find a sign saying it was closed. This thing is/was such a legend and I’ve wanted to ride it for so long now. While doubting that it can still compete with the best of the best 25 years later, it was one of the few big names left out there for me that still had a lot of potential. With visible tarpaulin, nets, ropes, hi-vis whatevers covering up parts of the track up in the trees, it clearly wasn’t to be on this occasion. And so it begins.
A terrible consolation to that discovery was that the adjacent ride is the Sky Rocket II. While some may claim that these are better than Helix, personally I dislike them more each time I ride one. The shin guards on #2 Fobia Fear Coaster weren’t an instant ‘get me off this ride’ at the very least, but it’s still an uncomfortable experience with no redeeming features. The dominant memory for me is the pain in my shoulders as it slowly rolled over at the top, thinking to myself silly thoughts such as ‘is this a mirrored clone?’ But hey, +1, this is the game we play.
The other game I play is dark rides, so luckily Ghost Hunt is just opposite. Did a lot of shooty ghost rides on this trip and this was most definitely one of them.
Rounding out the coaster collection, as they don’t let you ride the kiddie one here, was a #3 Zoomerang. Oh joy. By my calculation we were going to ride at least 5 of these on this trip, a great motivator for making the effort no doubt, but quite a few of them had been having ‘upgrades’ which may have eased the burden slightly, or entirely – you’ll see soon enough.
This one hadn’t though and it was, ok. Probably better than the Sky Rocket.
With not much else of interest to keep us around and further plans for the day, we asked a man who looked like he knew what he was doing about the status of Boulder Dash. Apparently they were working really hard on it (though not visibly) and desperately wanted it to open later that day. Spoilers – it didn’t.
Already back to being dejected about the whole hobby, collected our free drinks cups that came with the platinum pass, filled them up for the road, and headed off to
Quassy Amusement Park Ticket Booth
There’s a lot of lakes on this trip, this was perhaps one of the nicer ones.
Continuing the trend that no one can open a rollercoaster in 2025, this slab of concrete was new for 2025.
But #4 Wooden Warrior was behind it, and that’s all that mattered.
Edging ever closer to the global Gravity Group set, these baby ones are all about finding out how much of a surprise punch they pack. This one packs it.
The first half is pretty fantastic, with a whippy first drop and some great hills to follow it, playing on the terrain a little to head down into the tunnel turnaround.
On the way back up the hill and over the station however it loses a little too much steam to maintain the power of the earlier elements, a seemingly common factor with a number of these, big and small, at this point.
There is one basically triangular hill in this final sequence to provide a final kick and a smile on the face however. I’d put it somewhere middle of the pack for baby Gravitys, in other words an excellently fun and rerideable ride.
Elsewhere in the park is this adorable old steel thing, #5 Little Dipper. There’s some plaque up about its significance and it also rides like a beast for its size, with a great view to boot.
Success.
Six Flags New England
Last up for the day was the collection of another season pass, this time the epic Six Flags-Cedar Fair combo that has recently come into being, at an absolute steal of a price for this inaugural year. This one was purchased with no issues and, hoping they hadn’t St Louised us and printed the wrong pass, allowed us to head in for a sweet start.
The start wasn’t so sweet in that the only +1 we needed in the park was the Boomerang, #6 Flashback, and it was open, so that makes 2 in a day. It was ok.
The other spite was of course Quantum Accelerator, a reasonable draw to the region for us this year, which was sitting pretty looking almost finished, with staff being trained and test laps being sent. At that moment, it was scheduled to open later in the week and we had already made plans and sacrifices to our schedule, hotels and drives to be back for it. Funny.
Just to keep things on a sour note, we headed to Wicked Cyclone for some rerides with much excitement, only to find a guy at the entrance saying it was down. Flashback 6 years to being turned away from our afternoon rerides because they had to ‘clear the area’. Still never forgiven the park for that.
Thoroughly dejected once more, we sat on a bench to recollect our thoughts. Then Wicked Cyclone cleared the lift with people on it.
Straight back to the guy again, who was standing there confused and scared. It was clearly back in operation, as he agreed, but no one had called him to officially confirm that he could let people into the queue once more. After a few more guests showed up, asked the same question and, steadily more angrily, got the same response, I humbly suggested that he call them.
He did, and in we went. Have a bad photo from 2019:
This led to the ride being an instant walk on, and an instant smash hit once more. Deep down I’ve always loved Wicked Cyclone, but it’s been hard to maintain a level of objective praise for it, what with riding it so long ago, so relatively early amongst the RMCs and of course the lack of being able to get fully acquainted with it on the fateful first visit.
Well no more, I love Wicked Cyclone more than ever. There’s only a few of them, but it contains some of the most brutal and violent moments of any RMC, one of my key measures for how much I enjoy this particular style of coaster.
Beyond that, and something we grew to appreciate further during the trip, is that the rest of the layout is an eloquently crafted symphony. What some may consider downtime between the highlight elements, I see more as a tasteful build of suspense towards those particular hard hitters. For instance, the way it weaves and wobbles through the structure, gaining speed into perhaps the most vicious off axis hill in the business, which you can’t see, is simply glorious.
I much prefer this design style to several other RMCs which are just so chock full of elements that a number of them simply end up being dud moments, and the flow of the coaster suffers as a result.
Elated, but wanting more, we went to knock off a few other things before closing the night on it.
First up was the Houdini Madhouse. Not sure why it didn’t happen before, was either closed, didn’t know it existed, or didn’t care at the time.
I had surmised that experiencing it in English would help the narrative make a little more sense than it does at Bellewaerde. I can now confirm that it did not. I still don’t understand who the other kid is, why he goes evil, or what the conclusion is.
Highlight of the experience was a staff member bigging up El Toro and beginning the ride sequence with a nobly acted proclamation along the lines of ‘keep on ridin coasters’.
Gave Superman the Ride a token lap, having never understood the fuss for it. I still don’t, but the trim in the airtime hill finale had me in tears of laughter by the brakes, clearly already losing my sanity for the trip. The perfect setup of it inexplicably being the best thing ever at one time, reaching what should be a glorious climax, the train juddering and slowing immensely such that all other sensation is lost, along with the momentum to finish the job. 10/10 for entertainment, but the trains suck, it doesn’t do anything exciting for me, moving on.
Gave Batman a token lap for some reason and it was decent. A reminder that some old B&Ms kicked ass both in forces and being smooth. It’s sad that some old ones are just plain rough, and that some new ones are too.
With that it was time to finally get those final rides we had been so cruelly deprived of so long ago. Back row, in the dark, barely another soul on the train, it was everything this hobby is all about and made absolute mincemeat of our bodies. God damn, Wicked Cyclone.
After barely any sleep, because while staying in an unmanned hotel seems fine on principle (and has been in other parts of Europe), in reality it’s an open invitation for 1 guest and 99 non-guests to descend upon the place in a dozen cars with no number plates and party all night without any consequences. I was surprised that no one else staying made a fuss, though the sheer numbers were likely very physically intimidating. And it shouldn’t be their job.
With music, singing, stomping and door slamming driving me to the point of contacting the ‘staff’ in the middle of the night, it was interesting to receive the response that ‘there’s nothing they can do, some people are just assholes.’ An interesting philosophy that leads to the place no longer serving its single function as a place to sleep and the thought that perhaps one day they’ll return the next morning to a smoking pile of rubble with that same attitude.
But we’re not here for the hotels.
Day 2 – Fantasiana
I’ve always loved Fantasiana. 9 years ago it felt like Austria’s best kept secret. 4 years ago it was my favourite park in 3 weeks of Eurodemption. In a region that’s mostly filled with overpriced filler, all the attractions here punched well above their weight, from log flumes to drop towers to Pax coasters.
It’s now my third visit here and I still believe they can do no wrong. Though we mourn the loss of Wild Train, Helios is a more than worthy replacement.
The new look of the entrance is rather enticing, with this over the top of it. They’ve opened up the ticketing plaza, added an Efteling style roof over turnstyles and stopped routing guests through the little indoor diorama section that used to start any visit here. Was glad to see that it still lives on through the back of the gift shop.
I guess we can talk about #1 Helios first, it was the reason for the visit after all. Very nicely presented was the first impression, it’s a lovely fit with the direction the park has been going since Russian cred on some grass. Seagulls, fountains, interaction, all that good stuff.
Queue is tiny, a switchback in a shed, a little winding outdoor pathway and then the final building housing the man himself. He’s quite intimidating, looming over you with a good soundtrack playing. There is also some narrative, but it’s drowned out by the music. Not that I would have personally understood it.
Seems Mack are taking on Vekoma’s recent game of crazy inversions through the station. Love to see it.
The ride begins by heading through the transfer shed with a closed shutter on the far side. Projections of magic horses galloping on this shutter imply that we’re off on some wild chariot ride.
The excitement is maintained on a very swift lift hill before plunging into a wicked twisted first drop.
This element follows and is the standout of the ride, a nice sustained ejection at a weird angle that hits hard.
It then lurches down again at speed, in a solid moment of airtime.
Into the first inversion, a quick turnaround with another funky sideways bit and the second inversion. The latter gives some good hang as you flow down into it.
Then it’s up a slightly stilted hill and into the station building, the first moment for me where the ride feels like it’s holding back a little.
The station roll itself is pretty crazy though.
We then enter the notably weaker final third of the ride. This element is a lot more visual than effective in most seats. It’s followed by a quick slither and turn into the brakes without any real final punch.
In fact the best conclusion to the ride is the little jingle that hits a couple of times on the onboard speakers as you pull into the station. It’s a great character builder and gets into your head after a few laps.
After getting our fill of that, we headed out to revisit the rest of the park.
Knightsride Tower remains one of their finest attractions. Queue is always great to see this old face and then it’s such a well themed drop tower when it comes to pure suspense. Rising up each section, tension building, back poke, game over. Love it.
Sindbad was feeling a little dated on the day, main highlight still being the big stone face waffling and dribbling in the queueline. It’s a nice take on ghost train style scares in a more adventurous theme and the rotation and elevation changes are rather fun.
Sadly the 2nd greatest 4D cinema in the world has moved on to a worse film. Lifechanging German turtle Pandadroom has become something about a little prince that I didn’t understand, and was mildly entertaining at best.
This new family top spin Wild Swing thing is amazing. One of the ART guys hyped it up to me at IAAPA several years back and I finally got to see and feel what it was all about.
The park have already made it their own by giving it a themed preshow containing a big fairy animatronic, to add to the magic.
The ride sequence is just played to perfection. It’ll kick you around, it’ll give you a tingle or two. Onboard sound is a delight again and the views off outside the park from the top were spectacular.
I’m not much of a flat ride guy, but I’ll do more of these if and when I come across them for sure.
Mami Wata remains a personal favourite. As one of the first ride soundtrack CDs I owned in this hobby it always hits different hearing it in situ. Takes me back to the good old days. Good theming, fun drops and tricks, not too wet, love it.
Park has donkey game.
No hats though, the man with a gun in his pants stole it.
Can’t forget about old mate Fridolin. Some of the best fun you’ll have on a 30ft coaster. These guys know it all about getting the most out of the hardware.
While looking for the diorama building that used to be the entrance, managed to find this animatronic stage show that I never knew existed. It went on for an absolute age and this tree was losing his mind in the best way possible throughout. I’m reckoning it’s on par with Danse Macabre.
Think that concludes the park roundup, did I mention it was a lovely place?
Some closing thoughts on Helios then, as we spent the closing hours of the day getting to know it better. It’s a lot of fun, but not quite the knockout I wanted it to be.
Just a few weeks out from Lost Gravity it’s noticeably weaker and not as well paced. From memory I’d probably put it above Dynamite though, for a bit more length and variety.
As mentioned, the primary issue is a common one, fizzling out towards the end. Leading with your best elements and then not being able to back them up by the end is a bit of a downer, particularly in a shorter ride experience.
I also found it to be fairly significantly affected by wing position. The left wins on the first drop for chucking you out of the side, though the weird folding in on yourself in the right has its own unique charm. The big stonker hill is amplified most in the right. The second inversion hand is amplified most in the right. The crazy near miss sensation through the station is amplified most in the right. The last wonky hill that doesn’t do much does actually hit in the right, which in turn makes the ‘good part’ of the ride just that little bit longer.
While it’s satisfying to find that magic seat, I generally prefer a balanced experience so that you’re not obsessing over it in batching.
Very solid investment though, minor nitpicks from a jaded fool. That’s where the fun is, right?
Selfishly I hope the park stay under the radar, maintain their current size and profit margins. Bigger isn’t always better.
So this is my life now, waiting for new things to appear in Europe that give me an excuse to revisit somewhere. And it sucks.
Back in April time we were of course eyeing up the new Austrian Mack duo. RCDB, who are usually pretty hot on only posting credible opening dates, suddenly reported a specific date in April for Wiener Looping. So, to give that some room to breathe, we booked a weekend in May and thought nothing more of it.
At some point the date was just pushed back to the month of May as a whole. The operator of the ride started being super sketchy on his socials and it then became ‘in about 3 weeks’, ignoring other people’s questions and as of the day of the visit it was just ‘there’s a lot more work to do’. I do hate a lack of transparency on this stuff.
Day 1 – Wiener Prater
As such it was a wasted trip to Prater. The ride may be built and have tested, but it was still inside a construction site and you couldn’t physically access it for mud, scaffolding, diggers, paving slabs and fencing.
We rerode Gesengte Sau to make something of the day, as it’s by far the best coaster on park.
Then one of the old dark rides I hadn’t done before, Grottenbahn. I’m seriously considering turning dark ride counting into an actual endeavour at this point, but Prater is not a healthy place to start.
Holland then. Was last here the year of Untamed, and had one of the worst park experiences of the era. It was all Halloweens fault.
Day 2 – Walibi Holland
So came back again expecting the worst, again. Turned out to be another great day. Something seems to have changed, felt like the place had matured a bit. Good queues, efficient sneaky single rider opportunities, better layout now they’ve opened up the new area. A great time all round.
Took a spin on Untamed first, anticipating the crowds to head towards the newness instead.
This paid off, with staff allowing stay in your seat extra laps until a station wait had time to build. Another plus point.
I was kind of ambivalent about Untamed on my first encounter with it. No doubt it was a top tier ride, RMCs always were at that point in time. But its reputation for me was somewhat marred by both the poor circumstances under which it was experienced, and being on the tail end of a year riding multiple other excellent RMCs.
Given that time to breathe, I was quickly reminded of how excellent it really is. I think visually it’s got better with age and once it warmed up it was a proper wild thing, just like the plants around it.
Extreme airtime galore, though I still think it misses a few beats with the other faffier moments in between the hills. In trying to come up with these wacky shapes, not everything lands, so I stand by my original positioning of it amongst RMCs, almost dead in the middle of the pack, which is still world class and wonderful.
Knowing nothing other than the names Walibi Holland and #1 Eat My Dust, I expected some gaudy nightmare of a children’s coaster but instead got this.
The little area they’ve put it in seems to be done really nicely and it definitely helped that mature feeling I alluded to earlier. Making this park feel more classically European again. Tranquil, tasteful and trees.
Still not convinced by Goliath‘s new look, though it’s been quite a long time now apparently. Walking straight onto it was great, and it still packs a punch. Simple, effective, better than its American counterparts. What a top three this park has.
Would #2 & #3 Yoy enter into that conversation? No it would not.
This ride type has become so cursed, and it’s doing no favours to the company that was the gold standard for enthusiast coasters for the last 10-15 years.
It’s a shame, there was a time when RMC could open literally anything and it was a unanimous ‘I must move the earth to ride this, it will be an absolute contender’. Just 5 years ago, the prospect of any park in the world having THREE RMCs would have instantly made it more Mecca than Cedar Point. Since laughing at the face on the front of the Jersey Devil and then Wonder Woman literally falling apart in front of my eyes, suddenly I don’t care any more. I went into Yoy with low expectations, and they were spot on.
The most fun thing about it, for me, was the Twisted Colossus 2.0 lift hill. The lifts are programmed to make a duel happen, and try even harder to do so. This results in some amusing exchanges of one train accelerating, overshooting, then holding back, then the other doing the same, in a silly little feedback loop. It’s character and sure passes the time.
So it’s a shame they just ride so poorly isn’t it. Awkward seating, stupid shoulder straps that are uncomfortable and then fall off (so, what’s the point?), making you have to think about adjusting them mid-ride instead of just enYoying* yourself.
*I can’t take credit for this one, I caught someone in the queue saying ‘sit back, and enYoy’ and feel obliged to spread their genius.
Anyway I’m meant to be reviewing the ride. The green side just rattles you around and not in a good way. The airtime is stunted, the layout wasn’t that interesting and I don’t know, there’s something about having to hold yourself in that awkward position and sort of concentrate on not getting a headache that made the duelling aspect almost a complete miss for me. It wasn’t thrilling to see another train dance around, the high-five element hasn’t yet become an established hit with the crowd and there’s a weird loss of communal spirit in it being single file. It just all kinda happened.
Admittedly they had some technical issues and one side wasn’t running half the time anyway, but this felt like no big loss. It has none of the ‘oh my god, I need this to duel and be lifechanging’ aura of Twisty C. Probably because there’s no ‘oh my god, my thighs have turned to dust’ either.
What else can I moan about? Ah, just the Raptor model itself.. what’s happened to it? I rode Railblazer back when it wasn’t a wreck and there’s just something about that prototype layout. It really pops, it really lends reason for the ride type to exist. The ridiculously steep drops and airtime, the breakneck pace that made it look otherworldly from offride, the weird fast unbanked corners and laterals. None of those elements that to me, defined the very essence of the Raptor, have made it into the future designs and it leaves me wondering why do they exist now, other than to be cheap? As I said to the Devil, they now only do all the things a regular RMC could just do better, the fact that it’s single rail adds nothing but discomfort and a lazy highest, tallest, biggest claim.
Positives? The blue side was quite fun. To chill was actually better than to thrill. For me it’s a victim of poor advertising (Thirteen, rahhh!), though probably my fault for not paying any attention to the advertising. I thought it would be a lot more ‘family’, but it’s not. Without wobbling over your shoulder straps upside down, you get a bit more chance to take it in, feel some airtime, get some wind in your hair. It’s alright, it’s alright.
Oh and the tag line is lame. Ride the other side… Feels like an old man rubbing his legs, standing up from a bench and saying ‘welp, guess I’ll ride the other side now..’ (in an American accent for some reason). Purely as an obligation, not because you want to. Oh wait, that’s this hobby. Nailed it.
Sorry, the structure of that review was just a horrible ramble. Tl;dr Mecalodon wins.
You know what I do like? Lost Gravity. On the subject of prototypes that defined their niche – this. This.
Vicious, vicious moments in those comfy ass winged seats. That drop, that speed hill, that Speed: the ride hill. That crazy little bump right before the last corner that I always forget exists. If Eurofighters were good, they’d be this. It’s weird to me that the comfort took a turn for the worse by the time Voltron came around, but there’s a lot of manufacturers in that boat right now it seems.
Sucks that the shop is gone for it. Always loved the ‘ask me about Lost Gravity’ shirt. Please do.
Also that photo was taken from the Ferris Wheel, if you hadn’t noticed.
Meaning we rode the Ferris Wheel, woo.
And that’s that. Great days, great parks, some great rides and a cheeky +4.
So this is my life now, waiting for new things to appear in Europe that give me an excuse to revisit somewhere. Walibi have been busy and were winners of the construction race this year. Here we go.
Day 1 – Walibi Belgium
Was last here the year of the Kondaa (and the floods) and what a transformation it had had in just a few short years. From dirty European cred run with the Vekoma double delight, to major continental contender.
This year was no different, a pleasant and polished park experience that resulted in a great day out. I’m so used to expecting and preparing for the worst these days, that 5-15 minute queues for every attraction, on a weekend, was a lovely surprise.
I hadn’t paid too much attention to the development of #1 Mecalodon to be honest, to the point that it took me standing in the exit shop to realise what the name was about. Ah, Meca, like robots, got it.
Anyway it looks great already, love the entrance plaza area with the dock, lighthouse, some framing of the coaster etc. The first third of the queue is a bit of an adventure up and down stairs and through some sheds with more great views out over the area and beyond.
The second third is out and in amongst the layout so gives some good entertainment and views of what’s to come. There’s some great coaster sightlines in this park now, looking out past this to Tiki Waka and then Kondaa beyond. Last part is alongside the indoor launch track for some spoilers and noise, followed by a bit of light theming into the station, which is a pleasant building.
The trains are super open, which makes the fact that bags go on with riders even more of a surprise. There’s very little in the way of sides where your feet go, and some of the whippy side to side action in the layout made me wonder if the policy will stand the test of time.
Open is good though, and they’re nice and comfy. You head round the corner and stop on the launch section while someone on TV talks about sharks with a fake countdown. The launch hits way before 0 with that weird awkward tap on almost all these LSMs these days as it overcomes the initial inertia.
Launch ends with the big airtime hill looking thing, which is no big deal. It’s not meant to be a thigh-bruiser.
The fun actually starts soon after, with the dynamic slithering section of very potent laterals. Love this on a family coaster.
Then there’s one of those launches over a hump – Gerstlauer are the next to join that trend it seems. Doesn’t add a whole lot, but looks cool I guess. A big overbank and some low speed hills define this middle section before a second humpy launch directly alongside the last, which is a fun little design feature.
This is my favourite part, as there’s a noticeable ramp up in intensity, lending to a great sense of a multi-act coaster. There’s a surprising lurch out of the top of the hill into the double down bit and then another great hill straight into the signature tight turn you see from the plaza. Couple more twisty bits and you’re done, a great build to a great climax.
All in all it’s exactly what you want in a family coaster. As fun to look at as it is to ride. Gives you a little something to think about in terms of forces. Very lengthy and well balanced experience – a good payoff for your queue time. Not 30 minutes for an SBF spinner.
Gerstlauer have been very good at this light thrill coaster game for a good while now, I’ve often thought they should do more. It’s great to see them really step it up a gear, can’t think of a finer example for them right now.
What else is on park?
I haven’t done a dark ride in around 10 months, which is pretty criminal. Great way to get back in the game with this Challenge of Tutankhamon, a true classic.
The animatronics are top notch, the interactive element is engaging and I love the fact that some of the things you’re firing at actually approach you enough to feel like a threat. It’s such an underdone thing in a world of mostly passive shooting dark rides.
Our car managed to pull the full sequence out of the bag – got to see the boss, beat him and earn that sweet, sweet treasure.
10/10
On the other end of the scale, you’ve got the highly imaginative and replayable screen-based shenanigans of this other classic, Popcorn Revenge. Maybe I just was feeling good because I consistently destroyed everyone, maybe its the fact that I always got to be lemon, maybe it’s that use of trackless technology that actually means something when you’re dancing around a central hub or heading into a theatre with a sense of magic.
It was giving great vibes.
10/10
<imagine a palace with a genie in it>
Gave the old madhouse Palais du Genie a spin to show it some love. Preshow gets funnier every time with the way the old man actor interacts with the camera.
Hardware was feeling a little tired, the sound of the mechanism creaking was drowning out the onboard audio sequence from where I was sitting. Always appreciate the spectacle though. The Walibi B dark ride game is strong.
Tiki Waka threw a bit of a fit in the morning and then suffered the most with queues later in the day, but the power of the single rider queues here is not to be understated if you just can’t be arsed to wait, like I often can’t these days.
I remember very little of this ride previously. Rode it in heavy rain, with a mask, looking at the floor the whole time if I recall, so didn’t notice the theming touches like that they’re little race cars and there’s trophies in the station and such.
Felt a little wobbly for only being a few years old. It’s a decent bobsled, but not amongst the best of its kind in terms of pure hardware. At the point of last riding this one I had done them all. Think there’s a new one again now, out there, spiting me.
Ahhhh. I haven’t ridden anything good since Hyperia, 10 months ago, which is pretty criminal.
Kondaa was kicking all of the ass. I thought I had sussed it out on my 22 laps of waterboarding, but it was being a whole new beast again in the sunshine.
Epic airtime, violent sideways ejection, strong positives, absolutely wild ending, it delivers on almost every level. Found myself appreciating the non-inverting cobra more than before, but there’s still a couple glimmers of ‘nothing happens here’ in that middle section holding it back from pure perfection.
Saddens me that it snuck out of the Top 25 not too long ago, competition is so tight, maybe I’ll take another look at the list at some point but I don’t get to revisit it enough these days so it becomes a struggle.
If context is necessary, I haven’t been to Thorpe for many years now, since I stopped renewing the annual pass I had because I went to two preview events for The Walking Dead: The Ride with it and yet have still never experienced The Walking Dead: The Ride.
Also the only reason I had the pass was to pop in on a September weekday after nearby work and walk onto something fun like Inferno or Detonator. The last time I did that everything had a 30 minute wait and I just left again. Now I use the internet and it’s like the American Dad bit of old man Steve watching the weather – judging it on behalf of how bad a day everyone else would be having there. 30 minutes for <insert any ride at Thorpe Park here>? No thank you.
Plus parking costs, the faff of getting in, all that, it’s amazing how the tiny little details of logistics can be so offputting just because it’s your local park and you could come back any time, or you could just leave any time and be home in the same time it takes to queue for a ride. Also again shows I’m really not a revisit kinda guy. Any effort at all is only worth it to me if it’s for something new. And then it’s game on!
This was not long after #1 Hyperia got its second train back on track. Arrived about an hour before park opening and strolled through far too much empty security cattle pen to end up queueing between Vortex and a beach for rope drop.
Headed over to the brand new ride. It wasn’t ready due to still being under morning checks, but plenty of people had filled the queue. There goes the smoke budget for the year.
It was stupidly hot, to the point that their new ugly and unshaded land was essentially a risk to human health and some staff managed to scare most people back out of the queue again with varying statements from ‘dont know how long it’s going to be’ to ‘highly recommend you check out some other rides’.
As it was Thorpe Park I had no interest in checking out their other rides, so managed to ignore their advice and camp out in the shade of the queueline shop. It opened not too long after anyway, about an hour after the park, so my ‘wait time’ was ~2 hours all in, not bad considering what it had been for most up until that point.
The main queue is pretty horrible, was thankful to move through its entirety at a walking pace. Reminds me of the Mandrill Mayhem – it’s there, it meanders, it doesn’t seem to have had any further thought put into it. There’s no good focal points for the ride, a lot of cages, a lot of sunburn, fences were already in disrepair because of simple mistakes and people being people. I don’t like the tagline, the theme is offensively weak to the point that it would have been better off without one, the Ride Access Pass Entrance queue was longer than the main one, nullifying its existence, I’m in a bad mood and could go on, but meh.
So, how was the ride? Well god damn.
As we’ve established, it’s Thorpe Park and expectations were low. A 200ft Mack Rides coaster in the UK should have had me all over it but somehow I remained ambivalent to its existence while everyone else had already made up their minds about what it was going to be like based on some mud.
With what it did, it far exceeded those expecations. I didn’t get any special rows but the first drop is rather unhinged in delivery. You don’t get your traditional ejector out of it because things change too much as you go down, but I like that, first drops need a good shake up to still be interesting sometimes.
The positives hit hard and fast at the bottom, I like that, with a lack of any real ‘speed moments’ it needs a way to remind you that this is now the fastest in the country, baby.
What happens next? *checks photo* Erm, some inversion into airtime thing that hits nice and hard, with a sustained pinning to the restraint, I like that. A real moment of yes, UK, this is what airtime is actually like, we’re not playing around.
The more I think about the next element, the more I love it. It’s so out there. Like nothing I’ve ever seen or done before, except in bad planet coaster creations. It shouldn’t exist. It’s hard for the brain to process and I couldn’t even say what forces it brings to the table, I like that.
Then there’s a stall. It’s ok.
Then there’s a trim. It’s a shame.
Then there’s some airtime. It’s ok.
Then there’s some brakes. And the only other photo angle I managed to get. It felt very Lightning Rod (when it was good) to me, minds blown but over before you can think about it. It’s an acquired taste in coaster design for sure. There’s some merit to not naturally fizzling out, but then it doesn’t naturally do so. It artificially does with the trim and ahhhh, it’s eh. A downer for the coaster connoisseur, but loved the crowd reactions it got. Thorpe teens were not ready for this thing.
Not quite a top 25, but not far off. As a piece of hardware this is something special, even if it didn’t manage to walk away with an absolute W. I’m very interested to see already how ‘having done Hyperia’ skews the new UK enthusiasts perspective of foreign rides now, compared to what used to basically be ‘oh THIS is how coasters can be’. We’ve got the taste, but it’s a tease.
Guess I’ve done all the big Macks again now and I remain super excited for where they’re headed. Individual parts of all of these are next level, once again, it’s just about wrapping it up in the neatest of packages now. The best is yet to come, surely.
Obviously I hadn’t done Ghost Train since they fell out with Derren Brown. It opens late so you can get on it pretty easily, unlike anything else in the park right now. Also no one knows what it is any more. I had to explain it to several guests who approached me while standing outside for just a moment. Well, er, it’s a ghost train.
No, I couldn’t help myself, but themed experience with actors? Yeah, we’ll go with that.
If context is necessary, I hated Derren Brown’s themed experience with actors. Narratively it flowed horribly, the VR was complete rubbish, the ‘improvements’ they made only worked once and it was forever tainted with the air of ‘we could have had 6 Gravity Group woodies instead’, or something. You know, home park problems.
I didn’t hate this, but I didn’t care for it either. The preshow wastes time by having a voice tell you the rules, and then the actor repeating those rules, probably because people are people. Your own experience may vary hugely depending on the gravitas of said actor and the rowdiness of the room but it all turns it into a slightly structured Merlin Dungeons-style flow rather than a messy Alton Towers Sub Terra-style flow.
So they’ve bailed on the magic of the train, because that never worked anyway. You get on and the actors kill time by attempting to be creepy for far too long. Some (children) are genuinely scared or playing it up and it’s fine, it just doesn’t do anything for me, I don’t get in that zone.
You get off and stand in another room. Actors writhe about. A couple scares, the human one worked well on the group, the mechanical one was laughable. Back on the train.
I’ve since been told that something may have been wrong with the ride system (other than the fact that they don’t use the fancy bit of it any more anyway) and it was more of the same, actors killing FAR too much time attempting to be creepy, waiting for the lights to go out. Big human scare again that worked well, but then where do you go from here? Oh, the danger isn’t real and you’ve fizzled out like the trim on Hyperia, now we sit and wait in a less scary atmosphere for the train to stop and get off?
The problem is probably me, I’m trying to think of something that’s actually good to compare it to and I can’t. I first need something like this that actually gets me going, like I have in the coaster and dark ride world. This is neither, and I’ve spent far too much time on it already.
Anyway, the rest of the park was looking especially grim. Queues I wouldn’t want to wait in for rides I both would and wouldn’t want to ride. It was a million degrees, Staines was on fire, had a gig to go to in London that evening so called it a day after 3 rides in 3 hours. The Thorpe Park way.
From Voltron to Voltrum, this was new to me. Love a massive Funtime drop tower and this was no exception.
The lack of absolutely anything in the surroundings and the scale of a nearby forest looking so tiny gave me some height-related heebie-jeebies. Rides can still scare me – fantastic.
Up the top of a hill was the new boy and the main draw, #1 FirleFranze. You know you’re onto a winner by name alone sometimes.
What’s in the shed?
A fab little Gerstlauer, that’s what. Theme is simple, there’s a screen of the mascot lion mashing some buttons in hilarious fashion before ‘things go wrong’, runaway train style.
Somewhere along the way, magic happens.
Spot the difference.
Anyway, it’s great. Satisfying ride length, some decent forces for the size and a lovely sense of all out fun. Perfect for a place like this.
I didn’t find this on my previous visit, not that I care for Butterflies. Thought it was kinda cool, and weird, to do one indoors, themed to space. Self-operation is always a joy. Passed on the flippy thing next to it.
This guy is a legend.
This ride type is a legend.
They sure have been busy.
Stadlgaudi 4D is a little revolving theatre, interactive shooter thingy with a cute farmyard theme.
See? Nicely done.
The indoor drop tower Thaolon still has its own merits. It’s only a kiddie bouncy one, but is quirkily themed to spooky goblins and has a cracking soundtrack. Combined with a sense of mystery and a maze of a queue, always worth a shot.
And the OG main event is Freischutz, a legend of a launched X-car.
It also has a maze of a queue, which is a bit of a pain when you’re dying in the hot sun.
Was pretty much how I remember from all those years ago. Surprisingly intense, and a little bumpy. The continuous sequence of inverted top hat, vertical loop and whatever tight corner after provides a really sustained quantity of high positives.
From there it just kinda rattles its way back to the station in an unrefined sense. It’s a shame that it lacks any of the exceptional moments of a Shock, or even a Formule X, but at least it has its own identity, that China copied with weird trains and then didn’t open… ew.
Once was enough, mainly because it was too hot and we had places to be, but this is a pleasant little place with a well rounded lineup, well worth your Euros.
Had a few new coasters to bag in this very functional German park.
I do admire how understated the entrance is and, while lacking any soul whatsoever as a collection of rides in some fields and trees, the place is rather more pleasant in atmosphere than I remember from the previous visit.
A stock layout maurer spinner that’s rough? Check.
On the way to #1 Sky Dragster. I’ve finally caught up with one of these monstrosities. Was here last when it was supposed to have opened, but it was still under construction. Let’s not talk about Desmo Race.
It still looks like it’s under construction, but there was some mild excitement when I saw the pace at which one of the cars hit this hill, though angles can be deceiving as we well know.
It’s actually OK. Less offensive than I thought. Couldn’t quite tell what the controlled aspect was doing, only that the texture of the throttle handle was a little rough in the hand and I bagged a top 3 time for the day, 30 minutes after opening. Woo. It rides weird, but kinda fun. Some light airtime, a bit of speed and some odd laterals. Just seems so over-engineered with those teeth on every inch of track while not really achieving a whole lot other than being a reliability and capacity nightmare.
In typical European fashion, the ‘new for 2024’ coaster that was already printed on the park maps looked like this. Only an SBF as well, can’t be hard can it?
Thankfully there’s another new to me SBF in #2 Flotter Otto.
I think Sky Rider is the best in the park now, with a growing appreciation for rare and janky coasters over the years. It provides a sense of unnerving freedom, and peril, as you hang there, spin around, swing and hit trees. They don’t make ’em like this no more.
They make ’em like this instead. #3 Kids Spin was a thing. This was the last in the park to open because of timeslots. It was a ‘lowen’ (lion) day – cheaper tickets at the cost of limited attraction availability.
Oh and they have a Geisterbahn now. It’s rather good inside, with good music and solid pacing – not obnoxiously loud or fast. The prolonged outdoor sections are a little weird in this setting, likely working better at night, in a fairground environment, but then it would be pay per ride and I probably wouldn’t pay.
Cheers to a +3.
P.S. didn’t realise, though should have expected, the park’s 200ft Gerstlauer project they announced was a joke. What a scam.
