Holland then. Was last here the year of Untamed, and had one of the worst park experiences of the era. It was all Halloweens fault.
Day 2 – Walibi Holland
So came back again expecting the worst, again. Turned out to be another great day. Something seems to have changed, felt like the place had matured a bit. Good queues, efficient sneaky single rider opportunities, better layout now they’ve opened up the new area. A great time all round.
Took a spin on Untamed first, anticipating the crowds to head towards the newness instead.
This paid off, with staff allowing stay in your seat extra laps until a station wait had time to build. Another plus point.
I was kind of ambivalent about Untamed on my first encounter with it. No doubt it was a top tier ride, RMCs always were at that point in time. But its reputation for me was somewhat marred by both the poor circumstances under which it was experienced, and being on the tail end of a year riding multiple other excellent RMCs.
Given that time to breathe, I was quickly reminded of how excellent it really is. I think visually it’s got better with age and once it warmed up it was a proper wild thing, just like the plants around it.
Extreme airtime galore, though I still think it misses a few beats with the other faffier moments in between the hills. In trying to come up with these wacky shapes, not everything lands, so I stand by my original positioning of it amongst RMCs, almost dead in the middle of the pack, which is still world class and wonderful.
Knowing nothing other than the names Walibi Holland and #1 Eat My Dust, I expected some gaudy nightmare of a children’s coaster but instead got this.
The little area they’ve put it in seems to be done really nicely and it definitely helped that mature feeling I alluded to earlier. Making this park feel more classically European again. Tranquil, tasteful and trees.
Still not convinced by Goliath‘s new look, though it’s been quite a long time now apparently. Walking straight onto it was great, and it still packs a punch. Simple, effective, better than its American counterparts. What a top three this park has.
Would #2 & #3 Yoy enter into that conversation? No it would not.
This ride type has become so cursed, and it’s doing no favours to the company that was the gold standard for enthusiast coasters for the last 10-15 years.
It’s a shame, there was a time when RMC could open literally anything and it was a unanimous ‘I must move the earth to ride this, it will be an absolute contender’. Just 5 years ago, the prospect of any park in the world having THREE RMCs would have instantly made it more Mecca than Cedar Point. Since laughing at the face on the front of the Jersey Devil and then Wonder Woman literally falling apart in front of my eyes, suddenly I don’t care any more. I went into Yoy with low expectations, and they were spot on.
The most fun thing about it, for me, was the Twisted Colossus 2.0 lift hill. The lifts are programmed to make a duel happen, and try even harder to do so. This results in some amusing exchanges of one train accelerating, overshooting, then holding back, then the other doing the same, in a silly little feedback loop. It’s character and sure passes the time.
So it’s a shame they just ride so poorly isn’t it. Awkward seating, stupid shoulder straps that are uncomfortable and then fall off (so, what’s the point?), making you have to think about adjusting them mid-ride instead of just enYoying* yourself.
*I can’t take credit for this one, I caught someone in the queue saying ‘sit back, and enYoy’ and feel obliged to spread their genius.
Anyway I’m meant to be reviewing the ride. The green side just rattles you around and not in a good way. The airtime is stunted, the layout wasn’t that interesting and I don’t know, there’s something about having to hold yourself in that awkward position and sort of concentrate on not getting a headache that made the duelling aspect almost a complete miss for me. It wasn’t thrilling to see another train dance around, the high-five element hasn’t yet become an established hit with the crowd and there’s a weird loss of communal spirit in it being single file. It just all kinda happened.
Admittedly they had some technical issues and one side wasn’t running half the time anyway, but this felt like no big loss. It has none of the ‘oh my god, I need this to duel and be lifechanging’ aura of Twisty C. Probably because there’s no ‘oh my god, my thighs have turned to dust’ either.
What else can I moan about? Ah, just the Raptor model itself.. what’s happened to it? I rode Railblazer back when it wasn’t a wreck and there’s just something about that prototype layout. It really pops, it really lends reason for the ride type to exist. The ridiculously steep drops and airtime, the breakneck pace that made it look otherworldly from offride, the weird fast unbanked corners and laterals. None of those elements that to me, defined the very essence of the Raptor, have made it into the future designs and it leaves me wondering why do they exist now, other than to be cheap? As I said to the Devil, they now only do all the things a regular RMC could just do better, the fact that it’s single rail adds nothing but discomfort and a lazy highest, tallest, biggest claim.
Positives? The blue side was quite fun. To chill was actually better than to thrill. For me it’s a victim of poor advertising (Thirteen, rahhh!), though probably my fault for not paying any attention to the advertising. I thought it would be a lot more ‘family’, but it’s not. Without wobbling over your shoulder straps upside down, you get a bit more chance to take it in, feel some airtime, get some wind in your hair. It’s alright, it’s alright.
Oh and the tag line is lame. Ride the other side… Feels like an old man rubbing his legs, standing up from a bench and saying ‘welp, guess I’ll ride the other side now..’ (in an American accent for some reason). Purely as an obligation, not because you want to. Oh wait, that’s this hobby. Nailed it.
Sorry, the structure of that review was just a horrible ramble. Tl;dr Mecalodon wins.
You know what I do like? Lost Gravity. On the subject of prototypes that defined their niche – this. This.
Vicious, vicious moments in those comfy ass winged seats. That drop, that speed hill, that Speed: the ride hill. That crazy little bump right before the last corner that I always forget exists. If Eurofighters were good, they’d be this. It’s weird to me that the comfort took a turn for the worse by the time Voltron came around, but there’s a lot of manufacturers in that boat right now it seems.
Sucks that the shop is gone for it. Always loved the ‘ask me about Lost Gravity’ shirt. Please do.
Also that photo was taken from the Ferris Wheel, if you hadn’t noticed.
Meaning we rode the Ferris Wheel, woo.
And that’s that. Great days, great parks, some great rides and a cheeky +4.
So this is my life now, waiting for new things to appear in Europe that give me an excuse to revisit somewhere. Walibi have been busy and were winners of the construction race this year. Here we go.
Day 1 – Walibi Belgium
Was last here the year of the Kondaa (and the floods) and what a transformation it had had in just a few short years. From dirty European cred run with the Vekoma double delight, to major continental contender.
This year was no different, a pleasant and polished park experience that resulted in a great day out. I’m so used to expecting and preparing for the worst these days, that 5-15 minute queues for every attraction, on a weekend, was a lovely surprise.
I hadn’t paid too much attention to the development of #1 Mecalodon to be honest, to the point that it took me standing in the exit shop to realise what the name was about. Ah, Meca, like robots, got it.
Anyway it looks great already, love the entrance plaza area with the dock, lighthouse, some framing of the coaster etc. The first third of the queue is a bit of an adventure up and down stairs and through some sheds with more great views out over the area and beyond.
The second third is out and in amongst the layout so gives some good entertainment and views of what’s to come. There’s some great coaster sightlines in this park now, looking out past this to Tiki Waka and then Kondaa beyond. Last part is alongside the indoor launch track for some spoilers and noise, followed by a bit of light theming into the station, which is a pleasant building.
The trains are super open, which makes the fact that bags go on with riders even more of a surprise. There’s very little in the way of sides where your feet go, and some of the whippy side to side action in the layout made me wonder if the policy will stand the test of time.
Open is good though, and they’re nice and comfy. You head round the corner and stop on the launch section while someone on TV talks about sharks with a fake countdown. The launch hits way before 0 with that weird awkward tap on almost all these LSMs these days as it overcomes the initial inertia.
Launch ends with the big airtime hill looking thing, which is no big deal. It’s not meant to be a thigh-bruiser.
The fun actually starts soon after, with the dynamic slithering section of very potent laterals. Love this on a family coaster.
Then there’s one of those launches over a hump – Gerstlauer are the next to join that trend it seems. Doesn’t add a whole lot, but looks cool I guess. A big overbank and some low speed hills define this middle section before a second humpy launch directly alongside the last, which is a fun little design feature.
This is my favourite part, as there’s a noticeable ramp up in intensity, lending to a great sense of a multi-act coaster. There’s a surprising lurch out of the top of the hill into the double down bit and then another great hill straight into the signature tight turn you see from the plaza. Couple more twisty bits and you’re done, a great build to a great climax.
All in all it’s exactly what you want in a family coaster. As fun to look at as it is to ride. Gives you a little something to think about in terms of forces. Very lengthy and well balanced experience – a good payoff for your queue time. Not 30 minutes for an SBF spinner.
Gerstlauer have been very good at this light thrill coaster game for a good while now, I’ve often thought they should do more. It’s great to see them really step it up a gear, can’t think of a finer example for them right now.
What else is on park?
I haven’t done a dark ride in around 10 months, which is pretty criminal. Great way to get back in the game with this Challenge of Tutankhamon, a true classic.
The animatronics are top notch, the interactive element is engaging and I love the fact that some of the things you’re firing at actually approach you enough to feel like a threat. It’s such an underdone thing in a world of mostly passive shooting dark rides.
Our car managed to pull the full sequence out of the bag – got to see the boss, beat him and earn that sweet, sweet treasure.
10/10
On the other end of the scale, you’ve got the highly imaginative and replayable screen-based shenanigans of this other classic, Popcorn Revenge. Maybe I just was feeling good because I consistently destroyed everyone, maybe its the fact that I always got to be lemon, maybe it’s that use of trackless technology that actually means something when you’re dancing around a central hub or heading into a theatre with a sense of magic.
It was giving great vibes.
10/10
<imagine a palace with a genie in it>
Gave the old madhouse Palais du Genie a spin to show it some love. Preshow gets funnier every time with the way the old man actor interacts with the camera.
Hardware was feeling a little tired, the sound of the mechanism creaking was drowning out the onboard audio sequence from where I was sitting. Always appreciate the spectacle though. The Walibi B dark ride game is strong.
Tiki Waka threw a bit of a fit in the morning and then suffered the most with queues later in the day, but the power of the single rider queues here is not to be understated if you just can’t be arsed to wait, like I often can’t these days.
I remember very little of this ride previously. Rode it in heavy rain, with a mask, looking at the floor the whole time if I recall, so didn’t notice the theming touches like that they’re little race cars and there’s trophies in the station and such.
Felt a little wobbly for only being a few years old. It’s a decent bobsled, but not amongst the best of its kind in terms of pure hardware. At the point of last riding this one I had done them all. Think there’s a new one again now, out there, spiting me.
Ahhhh. I haven’t ridden anything good since Hyperia, 10 months ago, which is pretty criminal.
Kondaa was kicking all of the ass. I thought I had sussed it out on my 22 laps of waterboarding, but it was being a whole new beast again in the sunshine.
Epic airtime, violent sideways ejection, strong positives, absolutely wild ending, it delivers on almost every level. Found myself appreciating the non-inverting cobra more than before, but there’s still a couple glimmers of ‘nothing happens here’ in that middle section holding it back from pure perfection.
Saddens me that it snuck out of the Top 25 not too long ago, competition is so tight, maybe I’ll take another look at the list at some point but I don’t get to revisit it enough these days so it becomes a struggle.
If context is necessary, I haven’t been to Thorpe for many years now, since I stopped renewing the annual pass I had because I went to two preview events for The Walking Dead: The Ride with it and yet have still never experienced The Walking Dead: The Ride.
Also the only reason I had the pass was to pop in on a September weekday after nearby work and walk onto something fun like Inferno or Detonator. The last time I did that everything had a 30 minute wait and I just left again. Now I use the internet and it’s like the American Dad bit of old man Steve watching the weather – judging it on behalf of how bad a day everyone else would be having there. 30 minutes for <insert any ride at Thorpe Park here>? No thank you.
Plus parking costs, the faff of getting in, all that, it’s amazing how the tiny little details of logistics can be so offputting just because it’s your local park and you could come back any time, or you could just leave any time and be home in the same time it takes to queue for a ride. Also again shows I’m really not a revisit kinda guy. Any effort at all is only worth it to me if it’s for something new. And then it’s game on!
This was not long after #1 Hyperia got its second train back on track. Arrived about an hour before park opening and strolled through far too much empty security cattle pen to end up queueing between Vortex and a beach for rope drop.
Headed over to the brand new ride. It wasn’t ready due to still being under morning checks, but plenty of people had filled the queue. There goes the smoke budget for the year.
It was stupidly hot, to the point that their new ugly and unshaded land was essentially a risk to human health and some staff managed to scare most people back out of the queue again with varying statements from ‘dont know how long it’s going to be’ to ‘highly recommend you check out some other rides’.
As it was Thorpe Park I had no interest in checking out their other rides, so managed to ignore their advice and camp out in the shade of the queueline shop. It opened not too long after anyway, about an hour after the park, so my ‘wait time’ was ~2 hours all in, not bad considering what it had been for most up until that point.
The main queue is pretty horrible, was thankful to move through its entirety at a walking pace. Reminds me of the Mandrill Mayhem – it’s there, it meanders, it doesn’t seem to have had any further thought put into it. There’s no good focal points for the ride, a lot of cages, a lot of sunburn, fences were already in disrepair because of simple mistakes and people being people. I don’t like the tagline, the theme is offensively weak to the point that it would have been better off without one, the Ride Access Pass Entrance queue was longer than the main one, nullifying its existence, I’m in a bad mood and could go on, but meh.
So, how was the ride? Well god damn.
As we’ve established, it’s Thorpe Park and expectations were low. A 200ft Mack Rides coaster in the UK should have had me all over it but somehow I remained ambivalent to its existence while everyone else had already made up their minds about what it was going to be like based on some mud.
With what it did, it far exceeded those expecations. I didn’t get any special rows but the first drop is rather unhinged in delivery. You don’t get your traditional ejector out of it because things change too much as you go down, but I like that, first drops need a good shake up to still be interesting sometimes.
The positives hit hard and fast at the bottom, I like that, with a lack of any real ‘speed moments’ it needs a way to remind you that this is now the fastest in the country, baby.
What happens next? *checks photo* Erm, some inversion into airtime thing that hits nice and hard, with a sustained pinning to the restraint, I like that. A real moment of yes, UK, this is what airtime is actually like, we’re not playing around.
The more I think about the next element, the more I love it. It’s so out there. Like nothing I’ve ever seen or done before, except in bad planet coaster creations. It shouldn’t exist. It’s hard for the brain to process and I couldn’t even say what forces it brings to the table, I like that.
Then there’s a stall. It’s ok.
Then there’s a trim. It’s a shame.
Then there’s some airtime. It’s ok.
Then there’s some brakes. And the only other photo angle I managed to get. It felt very Lightning Rod (when it was good) to me, minds blown but over before you can think about it. It’s an acquired taste in coaster design for sure. There’s some merit to not naturally fizzling out, but then it doesn’t naturally do so. It artificially does with the trim and ahhhh, it’s eh. A downer for the coaster connoisseur, but loved the crowd reactions it got. Thorpe teens were not ready for this thing.
Not quite a top 25, but not far off. As a piece of hardware this is something special, even if it didn’t manage to walk away with an absolute W. I’m very interested to see already how ‘having done Hyperia’ skews the new UK enthusiasts perspective of foreign rides now, compared to what used to basically be ‘oh THIS is how coasters can be’. We’ve got the taste, but it’s a tease.
Guess I’ve done all the big Macks again now and I remain super excited for where they’re headed. Individual parts of all of these are next level, once again, it’s just about wrapping it up in the neatest of packages now. The best is yet to come, surely.
Obviously I hadn’t done Ghost Train since they fell out with Derren Brown. It opens late so you can get on it pretty easily, unlike anything else in the park right now. Also no one knows what it is any more. I had to explain it to several guests who approached me while standing outside for just a moment. Well, er, it’s a ghost train.
No, I couldn’t help myself, but themed experience with actors? Yeah, we’ll go with that.
If context is necessary, I hated Derren Brown’s themed experience with actors. Narratively it flowed horribly, the VR was complete rubbish, the ‘improvements’ they made only worked once and it was forever tainted with the air of ‘we could have had 6 Gravity Group woodies instead’, or something. You know, home park problems.
I didn’t hate this, but I didn’t care for it either. The preshow wastes time by having a voice tell you the rules, and then the actor repeating those rules, probably because people are people. Your own experience may vary hugely depending on the gravitas of said actor and the rowdiness of the room but it all turns it into a slightly structured Merlin Dungeons-style flow rather than a messy Alton Towers Sub Terra-style flow.
So they’ve bailed on the magic of the train, because that never worked anyway. You get on and the actors kill time by attempting to be creepy for far too long. Some (children) are genuinely scared or playing it up and it’s fine, it just doesn’t do anything for me, I don’t get in that zone.
You get off and stand in another room. Actors writhe about. A couple scares, the human one worked well on the group, the mechanical one was laughable. Back on the train.
I’ve since been told that something may have been wrong with the ride system (other than the fact that they don’t use the fancy bit of it any more anyway) and it was more of the same, actors killing FAR too much time attempting to be creepy, waiting for the lights to go out. Big human scare again that worked well, but then where do you go from here? Oh, the danger isn’t real and you’ve fizzled out like the trim on Hyperia, now we sit and wait in a less scary atmosphere for the train to stop and get off?
The problem is probably me, I’m trying to think of something that’s actually good to compare it to and I can’t. I first need something like this that actually gets me going, like I have in the coaster and dark ride world. This is neither, and I’ve spent far too much time on it already.
Anyway, the rest of the park was looking especially grim. Queues I wouldn’t want to wait in for rides I both would and wouldn’t want to ride. It was a million degrees, Staines was on fire, had a gig to go to in London that evening so called it a day after 3 rides in 3 hours. The Thorpe Park way.
From Voltron to Voltrum, this was new to me. Love a massive Funtime drop tower and this was no exception.
The lack of absolutely anything in the surroundings and the scale of a nearby forest looking so tiny gave me some height-related heebie-jeebies. Rides can still scare me – fantastic.
Up the top of a hill was the new boy and the main draw, #1 FirleFranze. You know you’re onto a winner by name alone sometimes.
What’s in the shed?
A fab little Gerstlauer, that’s what. Theme is simple, there’s a screen of the mascot lion mashing some buttons in hilarious fashion before ‘things go wrong’, runaway train style.
Somewhere along the way, magic happens.
Spot the difference.
Anyway, it’s great. Satisfying ride length, some decent forces for the size and a lovely sense of all out fun. Perfect for a place like this.
I didn’t find this on my previous visit, not that I care for Butterflies. Thought it was kinda cool, and weird, to do one indoors, themed to space. Self-operation is always a joy. Passed on the flippy thing next to it.
This guy is a legend.
This ride type is a legend.
They sure have been busy.
Stadlgaudi 4D is a little revolving theatre, interactive shooter thingy with a cute farmyard theme.
See? Nicely done.
The indoor drop tower Thaolon still has its own merits. It’s only a kiddie bouncy one, but is quirkily themed to spooky goblins and has a cracking soundtrack. Combined with a sense of mystery and a maze of a queue, always worth a shot.
And the OG main event is Freischutz, a legend of a launched X-car.
It also has a maze of a queue, which is a bit of a pain when you’re dying in the hot sun.
Was pretty much how I remember from all those years ago. Surprisingly intense, and a little bumpy. The continuous sequence of inverted top hat, vertical loop and whatever tight corner after provides a really sustained quantity of high positives.
From there it just kinda rattles its way back to the station in an unrefined sense. It’s a shame that it lacks any of the exceptional moments of a Shock, or even a Formule X, but at least it has its own identity, that China copied with weird trains and then didn’t open… ew.
Once was enough, mainly because it was too hot and we had places to be, but this is a pleasant little place with a well rounded lineup, well worth your Euros.
Had a few new coasters to bag in this very functional German park.
I do admire how understated the entrance is and, while lacking any soul whatsoever as a collection of rides in some fields and trees, the place is rather more pleasant in atmosphere than I remember from the previous visit.
A stock layout maurer spinner that’s rough? Check.
On the way to #1 Sky Dragster. I’ve finally caught up with one of these monstrosities. Was here last when it was supposed to have opened, but it was still under construction. Let’s not talk about Desmo Race.
It still looks like it’s under construction, but there was some mild excitement when I saw the pace at which one of the cars hit this hill, though angles can be deceiving as we well know.
It’s actually OK. Less offensive than I thought. Couldn’t quite tell what the controlled aspect was doing, only that the texture of the throttle handle was a little rough in the hand and I bagged a top 3 time for the day, 30 minutes after opening. Woo. It rides weird, but kinda fun. Some light airtime, a bit of speed and some odd laterals. Just seems so over-engineered with those teeth on every inch of track while not really achieving a whole lot other than being a reliability and capacity nightmare.
In typical European fashion, the ‘new for 2024’ coaster that was already printed on the park maps looked like this. Only an SBF as well, can’t be hard can it?
Thankfully there’s another new to me SBF in #2 Flotter Otto.
I think Sky Rider is the best in the park now, with a growing appreciation for rare and janky coasters over the years. It provides a sense of unnerving freedom, and peril, as you hang there, spin around, swing and hit trees. They don’t make ’em like this no more.
They make ’em like this instead. #3 Kids Spin was a thing. This was the last in the park to open because of timeslots. It was a ‘lowen’ (lion) day – cheaper tickets at the cost of limited attraction availability.
Oh and they have a Geisterbahn now. It’s rather good inside, with good music and solid pacing – not obnoxiously loud or fast. The prolonged outdoor sections are a little weird in this setting, likely working better at night, in a fairground environment, but then it would be pay per ride and I probably wouldn’t pay.
Cheers to a +3.
P.S. didn’t realise, though should have expected, the park’s 200ft Gerstlauer project they announced was a joke. What a scam.
Been here before, not much to say, just a whistlestop tour of some old creds and a new B&M.
The little Gerstlauer used to be the best in the park. Potentially still is.
I always thought this was its name though, but no, that’s the Zierer Dragon with Dark Ride section. One thing I noted here is how the big lego dragon isn’t continuous like Windsor – you see two different parts of him, but they aren’t physically connected.
Kinda bothers me that the new land is just plonked unceremoniously behind Egypt. The Windsor Mythica has a bit of a presence to it, but to a visitor of that one, this just felt like a low effort copy and paste of some figures.
As such this lost its striking impact somewhat. Pretty cool entrance on the flying theatre. Now a blue shed for a bad cred.
Oh, I spoilt the review. Well I don’t know how, but they managed to make this less interesting than Mandrill Mayhem. It was such a non-event of a coaster. I can’t even remember it’s name. Oh, #1 Maximus – Der Flug des Wächters.
Uncomfortable inversions and very little else interesting going on. Didn’t seem popular either. Shortest queue, area was dead. I guess it looks kinda cool at the right angle, but deep down I wanted it to kick Chessington’s ass. Shouldn’t have expected that from it also being Merlin, and Legoland.
But hey, +1, and back to having ridden all the B&Ms in Europe, woo.
And they have one of these. Eww.
P.S. didn’t realise German Daddy Pig (Papa Wutz) was a thing now, what a scam.
The other new draw in mainland Europe was of course Mahuka. Feels like it fell a distant third to the Mackness going on this year and isn’t getting enough attention, but that’s part of the appeal of this park. Understated, but brilliant.
#1 Mahuka
Not naming names, but lessons available here on how to make a new ride look good, and complete, even though it had opened a few days prior and there’s still mud under it.
Nice details in the queue.
There was a radio here that would occasionally fire up and play ’90s hits. Character. A sense of fun.
These bag ‘chutes’ were pretty genius.
And those trains look tasty.
So, how was the ride? Loved it.
The trains are tasty. It’s exactly what the single rail needs. Openness, freedom, convenience.
Being multi-launch it’s got a satisfying length to it. A crescendo of sequence.
Full of some weird and wacky stuff, look at that ribbon of a track.
Airtime in places is really good. Bit of a Mosasaurus inspired roll at the end to finish.
All in all it just looks and rides great. I prefer it to the RMCs, which by default puts it in the top 5%. It doesn’t have the extremes of a Railblazer, but I feel like you have to be very forgiving about everything else going on with those rides and solely focus on those extremes. Let us not speak about Jersey Devil.
This hits the spot just right. Comfortable, varied and long while still being a little wild and unpredictable as it can perform manouevres you wouldn’t otherwise expect. It does a bit of everything and it flows so well. From the moment you step into the area really, they run a tight ship considering the capacity. The perfect addition for a park this size, they just keep on nailing it here.
Mystic
This was the last thing they nailed and it holds up. I love Mystic, it’s got such an aura about it. Still a top 3 Gerstlauer.
The guy with the fish laughs at you as you dispatch and it’s all downhil from there. Great sense of intimidation and guest reaction – this is still the bad boy of the park.
And it rides real good, with some killer ejector and even more killer hangtime. Stuff like this just shouldn’t be possibile but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Timber
Timber is great for what it does. A classic showcase of Gravity getting way more than should be possible out of something so small scale.
That said, it does manage to ‘feel’ the shortest of those, but at least it still hits hard and makes it count.
Not sure what they’ve done at the end. Added a trim to the final hill which kills its impact but also provides a hilariously awkward moment of braking which adds to the character and almost balances out the loss.
And that’s the park. They’ve tidied it up real nice, it’s very pleasant just walking around. There’s little else going on, a few +1s, no dark rides (sadly) and their 4D cinema seems to be out of action this season (not so sad). It doesn’t matter though. The quality of the top 3 coasters, including their consistency and variety, makes this one of the standout locations in Europe. They’re enough to keep me happy just bouncing between for a half day, a full day, it doesn’t really matter. You can play it cool at Walibi France. Let’s hope it doesn’t turn into Walibi Holland.
Fire is bad, but getting a new +1 is good. Fresh Mack mine train, rides well. I was glad to not feel obliged to need the VR on this occasion and thereby ruin the visual experience although it’s a shame it don’t go through the diamond cave no more. This statue of the miner mourning the loss of the dragon is such a beautiful touch.
#3 Baa-a-a Express
Last time I was here this was under construction, a little blip of track seen from the observation tower. It was being lovingly run by an old guy, so chill. Retirement goals to work on a ride like this. The sheep sings as you go round, what more could you ask from a +1.
Piccolo Mondo
Don’t remember much of anything about it from before. Don’t remember much more now. Was cute.
Madame Freudenreich’s Curiosites
Don’t remember much of anything about the old dinosaur ride but this genre of ‘add more character to a tired old dark ride’ is something I can definitely get behind.
Gorgeous queue.
And dinosaurs with cake. Perfection.
Abenteueuer Atlantis
I liked working out which targets score more points on the interactive dark ride. Tactics always add to these things. S’alright.
Bench: the Ride
Don’t remember much of anything about it from before. Don’t remember much more now. Was cute.
Euromir
I liked Euromir a lot, save for the fact it bashed my knees up back in the day. Managed to avoid that this time and had a great time on it. Spins less than I remember with the whole controlled rotation aspect, but is probably wise, it goes real hard in that final section and would probably mess people up at any other angle. Great ride with great character. Next one to get a looking at now that Croatia is done though I hear.
Piraten in Batavia
Fire is bad, but getting a dark ride rebuilt is good. Don’t remember much of anything about it from before.
Now it’s amazing, a real standout in the park. In being very comparable to such Disney rides, it’s nice to ride one that isn’t a clone and matches the quality in many ways. Epic scenes, gorgeous scenery, a good time all round.
Snorri Touren
I love how understated some of the entrances are at Europa. With such a breadth of things to do they don’t even need to hammer you over the head with –>MAJOR RIDE HERE<–.
And Snorri is a solid addition to the dark ride lineup. Love the character and the pacing in the first half of the ride but then it does end in a rather jarring and abrupt fashion, which I found a bit odd.
Best thing about the whole thing – his animatronic actually hits the right mushroom drums in time with the soundtrack.
Voletarium
Best thing about the whole thing – the drone in the queue.
It’s fine, it’s a flying theatre. Having one run semi-efficiently without a huge interruption between pre-show storyline and final showdown makes for a nice change but it’s still a faff and then just wafting over some stuff. Was interesting how many European locations I didn’t recognise – I swear they made some of them up.
Donkeys
The park has an excellent donkey game.
There’s even one in the new area, with a hat.
Also love how many parts of the park can simply go unseen. Tell me where this is.
Eurosat
I was extremely worried about what had happened to my beloved Eurosat. Really fell hard for this ride in the past, it was a defining moment of the trip back in the day, an overwhelming emotional rollercoaster hearing the soundtrack in person on the lift, thoughts equivalent to ‘I’m finally out living the dream and visiting these worldwide theme parks’ in the early days of my hobby, perfectly paralelled with the phrase in the soundtrack ‘finally, the time has come’.
Then they said they were making it the Can-Can. It felt like they were turning it into a joke. There’s no way that can work, ride ruined.
And yet, somehow, it works. I expected to despise everything it had become but sitting there on that endless spiral lift hill – wait, what’s this? They’ve kept the old music here, an updated and slowed orchestral version in perfect tribute to what this ride once was. The emotions hit me all again while in the dark, anticipating the inevitable. It’s such a beautiful touch.
Then with all the build up and crescendo of reaching the top and it turning into something wild and fun, the Can-Can music actually works too. A wink from the moon and a bon voyage leads to a frantic carnival of sound with a wild indoor ride that still hauls and still kicks ass in all the ways it shouldn’t be able to given the limitations of its situation. A classic piece of music that doesn’t know how to end, but then neither does the ride, as you drop through a windmill and then there’s just a whole extra floor to go after its already been going on an age.
It ends to epic fanfare, as it should. They’ve made it better, against all odds. I can only applaud.
Only thing I miss is the astronaut stuck in a wall mouthing words we’ll never understand.
Silver Star
I’d heard they killed the fun of this ride too, by canning the cheesy ass song that was its only character anyway.
Don’t remember the queue being quite as unpleasant, but it is. Basically a warehouse with some bad cars in it, and tv adverts for bad cars. But then on our second go, the theme hit on the speakers. It was all we needed. Ride on, Silver Star.
Still one of the better B&M hypers in my books, I had worried how it would stand the test of time (and experience). The old school nature doesn’t lend itself well to that magic row near the front, which works on many of the newer ones but is a bit of a dud here. Instead, back row is best for the unrefined, jankier moments that include ejector out of the midcourse and some uncharacteristically fun twists and turns that so many others fall short on.
Pegasus
Better than a Vekoma Junior, but priced accordingly.
Kassandra
I don’t remember this madhouse being so incomprehensible, but it is. The magic of the swing is a little lost when you don’t know what’s going on in the themed experience, but the magic within the seat itself cannot be denied.
Jim Button
Hadn’t heard of this, and though this park is likely highly researched, it looked like it posed the question ‘is it a dark ride?’
It wasn’t, but this big dragon is great.
Wodan
Still one of the better GCIs in my books, I had worried how it would stand the test of time (and experience). I don’t see it as being quite as epic as it once was, it’s better than ‘the norm’ but far from up there with the greats. What have they done to the start? I remember it being real out of control into that first drop but now it just wobbles around on some asphalt.
Arthur
This went up in my estimation in that it was nothing like how I remembered. The locker faff has been rectified. I remember issues with the screens in that sitting in the back row would miss all the action in a comedic sense, unless I’m confusing it with another ride. There aren’t many though. The soundtrack was funny. It had far more physical sets than I recall. It rode with a little vigor too and thus, wasn’t entirely pointless. I’ll assume they’ve fixed things rather than that I was wrong. Oh, and is that spotlight and camera combo meant to look like a face? Creepy.
Frog game is pretty good too.
Think that’s about it for Europa. Blue Fire was a thing of course, but I’ve ridden like 12 of them since, so really didn’t care. They messed up the onboard soundtrack on my single lap, which is the only thing that makes the original worth doing to me, so that sucked.
Had a lovely 2 days, queues were a little bigger than you’d normally like to get absolutely everything done or spend time on some filler coasters, but shout out to the free fastrack system. If you game it on your phone in the first couple hours it can reward you pretty well, including a walk on Voltron or two.
It’s been 9 long years since I last visited Europa Park. For the sake of a crazy statistic I had 126 creds to my name at the time, meaning there’s been just another 1500-odd in the interim.
I really, really liked the place back then, it was clear that it was a global standout. I had also always looked forward to returning some day but it was always on the preface that they got something worth returning for, to sweeten the deal. The years went by…
I heard they got something. We spent 2 days on park, which was the perfect amount for our own needs and pace.
The primary need was to experience #1 Voltron as much as possible. I avoided whatever spoilers I could and went in knowing as little as possible.
Presentation-wise, I think the whole thing looks excellent. An entrance exterior with that start coming out of the top of it.
A dedicated observation tower built within the layout. Plenty of opportunity to get in, up and under a lot of track for views and photos, while maintaining a little mystery about the back end of the layout. With constant trains buzzing round, on a summers day it’s a coaster lovers dream.
Plus other stuff in the area going on because why not.
The indoor queue brought new hope to my hobby. As I passed through for the first time and absorbed the details in here a crescendo of emotions built to a level of excitement for a new rollercoaster/attraction that I haven’t felt in what seems like quite some time. Far surpassing the simple raw excitement of skipping down some queue in China (that’s actually open) to ride some world’s fastest Mack thing, no, this was an anticipation you can only build with a themed experience. The development of character for a ride. A reason you want to like it, to support it, to back this creation of steel. Standing there in that room for the first time, with those feelings, is exactly why I’m in this game.
The big turret thing that plugs itself into the wall to power up. Mr. Tesla waffling on about who knows what.
Easter egg characters in the return to station screen.
The fact that the shutters close when you see a train enter the preshow, to hide what’s going on. And then the ride theme injected into your eardrums by terrifying tesla coil noises. Awe, intimidation, elation, the lot. This is how you make someone (like me) want to like a coaster.
From a practical standpoint, the locker system is the best I’ve seen yet. Choose your own locker with an RFID card, get on the ride. Don’t worry about remembering the number after an overwhelming experience because it can just tell you at the end. Unlike Wildcat’s Revenge. The throughput, capacity and efficiency with the moving station and just Europa Park being Europa Park in general is beautiful to behold once more.
– – –
Onto the ride experience then. I didn’t know what the trick was, and it’s hilarious. Brilliant for first timers and crowd reactions. I love it, but it loses impact over a few goes, so I kinda hope it remains somewhat unique to this attraction and that not everyone starts doing it, there’s a risk of losing the magic as always. Possibilities are endless though, so mix it up.
Before you’ve fully recovered from that you’re lurched off, and up, and over, and out. Of that start. It’s so unnatural but it’s done so gracefully considering the combination of technology and forces. Looking at it, it shouldn’t feel like it does, but it works, and then you’re suspended in the air for a brief moment for a ‘this is where the fun begins’ into the layout proper.
Frantic, I think is the word for all the elements that go on in between the defined sections, namely a combination of inversions and airtime moments. It’s our bread and butter at this point. It reflects the theme of science experiment gone wrong rather perfectly in this regard, but, critical hat on, I’m going to introduce another word into the fray. Lumpy.
I like and appreciate the individual components of what’s going on in this sequence, but there’s something about the flow. It’s lumpy. I think this is just an inherent issue I personally find with shorter trains and ride vehicles. It reflects back to my experience with the Big Dipper model, and by extension Infinity coasters (both of which I love more than most) and Eurofighters. Regardless of their execution I just can’t see myself sitting in one and thinking ‘this is the best rollercoaster layout in the world’. You can’t create as beautiful a symphony of forces with a ride that’s built for the tightest of manoeuvres. Blame physics.
Anyway there’s a multi launch bit on a curve in there which follows the recent industry trend of ‘adds a little pep, doesn’t take your breath away’ moments into the recent industry trend of the stall. A couple of newer rides have made this their own standout moment (Batman GCE and the Super Boomerang spring to mind), sadly Voltron does not. Surprisingly the most characterful moment for me hits home when you come slamming into the brakes at the end of the first half. It’s pretty brutal. And then you’re on a turntable with lightning and what the hell is this?
I’ve got two ways of looking at this – it’s amazing, clever, fun to behold, did you know it can turn in either direction? I didn’t until a few laps in. Quirky, love it. The other – it leaves a little to be desired in terms of presentation when compared with the station, queue, pre-launch experience. You’re just in a crude circular cage with no roof and a sunbleached graphics display. Doesn’t quite uphold the wonder.
What it does lead to is a wild backwards launch, again another great crowd reaction moment but you can give it your own extra punch with anticipation by putting your arms and legs directly in front of you and getting a wicked ‘fold you over the restraint’ moment. Then you’re forwards again with the most satisfying launch, one which lands closest to those I personally adore with their ‘the fun is far from over yet’ sensation. It’s faffy, but given it isn’t detracting from ‘damn near best thing ever’ status either side of it, I think it works.
The wonky top hat puts me straight back into the ‘lumpy’ mindset however, albeit what follows is an incredible sequence of powerful airtime moments, shouty after shouty, including up into and back out of another mid course. Dizzying inversions and strong positives round out proceedings before one final shout of airtime into the brakes. Ends strong this one.
And I think that review should demonstrate a little why I’m all over the place on Voltron. There’s so much of the experience that I adore to the core, but as a coaster it fell short of perfect in many, many ways. To clarify, the ‘lumpy’ business is nothing to do with ride comfort. I’ve heard riders found discomfort in left wing seats etc. and while there was noticeably a bit more shake there, it didn’t impact my personal ride experience. It is pretty damn intense though, and I don’t doubt that the ‘lumpy’ flow of the layout does exacerbate such feelings.
I’ll stop saying lumpy now, but I will also mention that a few of the inversions lack definition and character. If you’re going for the golden seven, make them count.
Though I went in with lack of spoilers there was a little thought at the back of my mind with the whole 9 years away from Europa Park thing. What a wonderful moment it could have been, having traversed the globe and, by my most recent assessments, ridden basically everything worth riding, to come back to such an early days trip and land a new #1. It was Mack, it was Multi-launch, it was Europa Park. It was possible. It wasn’t to be.
Enough ramblings, it’s the perfect prototype and near perfect showcase. Go ride it if you haven’t already, it needs to be beheld. Technology 11/10. Presentation 9.5/10. Layout 8/10. By all rights it should be threatening my top 20, but I keep talking myself out of it. Maybe. For the feels.
On the way down to (spoilers) Europa Park we decided to get a new country cred. Last time this was considered was back in covid days, when you had to write a letter to the King of Luxembourg in order to be granted special permission to enter. We were tempted at the time, given that they had one of those big Schwarzkopf travelling coasters in town while our own Eurodemption was going down. Postage time may have been an issue though.
First stop was a castle, don’t have those at home.
It was free to park and free to wander around, a common theme for Luxembourg, and my kinda sightseeing.
Is nice.
I was a little confused by the strategy of the location upon approach as it seemed to be rather far downhill to get to it, but it makes more sense from over here, in the rain.
Luxembourg City
My recollection of a Tom Scott video had me thinking that all public transport in Luxembourg was free. Sure enough, it was, so we went to the capital, Luxembourg City, and did a park + ride job to get into the centre. Free and easy, just how public transport should be.
We got off the bus in front of this.
Over the road from this.
And this. Everything is very elevated, and green.
Took a wander through the centre, which is very town-like for a city.
Or even model village-like from out the other side. You can basically walk to all the ‘things to see’.
History, culture.
Excitement? You can spot our next target out towards the back left.
After crossing a busy city road.
And going down a hill.
The great glass elevator in the sky is a tourist attraction here.
Not your average elevator.
Up top there was a piano, with what I believe to just be another visitor riffing some highly impressive piece and making intense but awkward eye contact with everyone else.
It was great. And free.
And that was Luxembourg. We chilled for a bit, had some food, then drove off to a travelling cred in Germany. Would recommend.
Merzig Funfair
Parking anywhere near here was a nightmare because the entire town was undergoing roadworks and the fair itself was on the only car park.
But it was all worth it of course, for three laps of #1 Kuhnos Farm.
