We’ve reached the end at last. Final day started out a lot more optimistic in my head because although Great Adventure is downtwo coasters, it’s also up oneclone. And free.
Reality soon kicked in when we mathed out going though and it was at that point in the two week trip where you start to just care less – the New Jersey effect. It would surely make for another miserable day trying to combine it with
Day 14 – Luna Park
Bit of a legend this one, but not one I’ve ever been particularly excited for. When you’re flying in or out of JFK airport, this being the first time we had willingly done that, it seems silly not to pop in for the intense coaster injection.
The lack of excitement stems from it being a Zamperla catalogue showcase, you know that Italian company that also poorly modifies 400ft launch coasters. So aside from a beach and the name, there’s really not much glamour to it.
There’s the beach.
First up was #1 Tony’s Express, a name no doubt much more effective with a New York accent.
As a coaster it was pretty poor, though it looks the part, vibrating in an unpleasant fashion for the entirety of the two laps, far more so than it should for a family coaster anyway.
Integrated log flume is a nice touch, I guess.
Next to that is the #2 Thunderbolt, which was a faff of a queue for 10 people because the loose item storage window acts entirely optional but then the staff in the station wait until the last second to make it mandatory and then send everyone back to the window, through other people and a turnstyle after having scanned their tickets or wristbands.
They’re a faff of a ride too really, still not a fan of the restraints, to no surprise. Comes down in such an unprecedented place, mid-leg, which negates any decent force it may or may not have. Most notably this had less violent ejector than the Alabama equivalent, which could be seen as a blessing or a curse.
Next to that is #3 Steeplechase, one of these horrible things again. But horseys, not motybikes.
Then there’s a Mini Mouse model called #4 Mini Mouse. Didn’t have the imagination to call it Tuff Tuff Taget.
The #5 Tickler, which didn’t tickle.
The #6 Circus Coaster, which to me is famous for being the best coaster at that park in China with the worst coaster lineup in the world. Still waiting on someone to find me a worse one.
Oh and the #7 Cyclone I guess. Turns out if you go as hardcore as us, then this is the best parking spot as it’s reasonably priced for a 2 hour stint, which is plenty for 10 one and dones. Vibes are guaranteed, safety is not.
I was more worried for the ride however, it has built a reputation over the years for being a murderous old thing on and off.
It was fine however, always good to get on an icon and quite fun in our forcefully blagged non-wheel seat. Bit of bounce, bit of force, super cushy and comfy seating which is always one of the highlights of things like this.
Definitely the only real reason to come really, it even stands alone from the rest of the park. I like the fact that you enter from an actual street, through a protective cage.
And this view, I like this view.
Confusingly, in the middle of Luna Park lies
Deno’s Wonder Wheel Amusement Park.
Where drink will flow and blood will spill. They have a separate ticketing system for their attractions, which include highlights such as
The #8 Sea Serpent. No review required.
and the #9 Skyflyer. No review required.
Again we’d saved their best for last with #10 Phoenix, which during the trip I had managed to convince myself was another S&S and then, post Dutch Wonderland, was concerned about.
It’s a Vekoma though, thankfully, words we can safely utter this decade. Pretty decent too, but I’d put it below the Orkanen layout and above the Kvasten one. Bit less swoopy and forceful, more faffy with the space. 2 laps is nice for the pay per ride.
Luna Park
I lied, I hadn’t saved the best for last, I had saved the worst for last.
Ending the trip on a Volare seemed oddly cathartic, except that #11 Soarin’ Eagle turned out to be the best damn Volare I’ve ever ridden.
It was (relatively) smooth, I put myself in the perfect position and it performed an appropriate amount of braking throughout, to not get too out of hand. Zamperla’s new best of the trip.
I lied, we didn’t end the trip on a Volare. After making record time it turned out we had driven past a Wacky Worm up the road.
Adventurers Family Entertainment Center
didn’t even have photos on RCDB, which is amazing considering their location. Less so when they ignore your submissions.
This guy on #12 TL*3 Coaster does though, and he’s about as gone as I was at this stage.
Free parking and a +1, what’s not to love? Better than Cedar Point.
Yay, Summary time.
Total states – 15 New creds – 78 New dark rides – 9 New parks – 19 New RMCs – 0 Best new coaster – Behemoth(?) Best coaster – Wicked Cyclone(*) Best new dark ride – Whispering Pines Hotel Best new park – Story Land Best park – Knoebels Distance travelled – 3357 Miles Spites – 17/95 (17.89%)
Kinda rough overall, the numbers don’t always sell the story but no Alpenfury, no Top Thrill 2, no Goliath, no Siren’s Curse, no Quantum Accelerator, no Crazy 8 Family Coaster, pretty much all the reasons we chose and planned this particular trip, brings it into perspective a little more. Plus I would have liked to actually say goodbye to Batwing and Wild One, having made the effort.
Boulder Dash (eventually), the Maine and New Hampshire parks were nice to finally get to, Canada was not, and we ended up relying rather heavily on some old favourites in Kennywood, Knoebels and Kings D to save our souls.
Had a lot of fun anyway, despite the complaining, it’s either still my favourite thing to do right now or I’m too far gone to know any better.
Should have been telling stories about more European creds around about now but it’s still 2025. Guess it’s time to go back to my roots.
Six Flags America is gone. Or at least it will be at the end of 2025. It was for this reason that we deemed it worthy of a farewell visit. Plus it had a +1. Plus it was free.
After the trip we had been having I had rather been rooting for it to bring a bit of an underdog arc, a fitting closing to its career, a good day out. It wasn’t to be.
Day 13 – Six Flags America
Things started fine after a long drive, some merciful clouds in the sky, minimum crowds and the B&M that was closed for conversion last time we visited was in operation.
Thus we began on #1 Firebird. Front row. Floorless. It was ok.
Fair play to it really, generally these ex-stand-up things kinda suck, but the layout manages to still be mildly interesting and it rides pretty well for the sheer age of it. Once was enough though.
Joker’s Jinx e-stopped itself on the launch, which must have been a pleasant experience for all involved. Don’t care, clone.
Superman – Ride of Steel rode like ass, Darien Lake was infinitely better. Once was enough.
Roar rode like ass, GCI have come a long way, on and off. Once was enough.
Batwing was closed. Best ride here, RIP.
Wild One was closed. Best ride here, RIP.
Ragin Cajun wasn’t closed. Probably see you around.
Not great then, I used to like this place but the ride availability was pretty abysmal on this occasion and it was a little sad to see it out this way ourselves. I’ve seen and heard of other visits that were fine though and I hope they can hold it together for at least a decent final, final day. Better than Cedar Point, but shan’t be missed.
Kings Dominion
Down the road and hoping to steal the footfall is old mate Kings D. Happy 50th.
Feels like we’ve been here a lot, and we have, they’re always cooking up a cred or two in conjunction with our visits.
And this time was no exception, with #2 Rapterra mooching around. The new area felt very Merlin in implementation, there’s an illusion of effort in presentation sprinkled around, but something just feels off about it.
Wasn’t impressed with the ride at all. Shakes quite badly throughout, has no particularly interesting forces to speak of, then ends on the classically uncomfortable roll for extra vest bite into your collarbone on the brakes. Once was enough.
Which meant that the better new cred of the park was the #3 Great Pumpkin Coaster because they let adults on now.
Then it was time for Twisted Timbers to kick our ass repeatedly. I’ve gushed about this one enough before, along with the fact that it’s better than Steel Vengeance. The fact that it was walk on and we weren’t dying from heat stroke also brought the trip full circle and back into my good books with some mid-sized RMC-based destruction.
Rode Grizzly but didn’t take a picture. It’s vastly improved with the retracking work and was actually pretty fun, not least for the station banter about it actually being Shockwave in disguise. Better than Rapterra.
Rode Racer 75 but didn’t take a picture. Happy 50th. Great woodie. Old, smooth, straight, full of airtime and with a bonus bit of racing fun. Felt like they’d added the Yoy-style poorly tuned lift hills that try and catch up with each other but always overshoot, which added to the charm. Better than Rapterra.
305 was closed but I was kinda glad because it’s an ugly colour and has a stupid name now. It will never be the same without being told to start my engines.
Eiffel Tower was closed as it seemingly always has been and always will be.
But they have this and Cedar Point doesn’t. Better than Rapterra.
Overall a great time at a great park and I’ve clearly run out of things to say.
The following morning we hit up another park on the Lake Compounce pass, one that we’ve looked at several times during trips over the years and figured was never quite worth the gate price.
It’s not.
So perfect opportunity.
Or not.
Day 12 – Dutch Wonderland
Security checks kinda block you from a decent entrance shot here, which is a shame.
Things started ok as we walked straight onto #1 Merlin’s Mayhem, S&Seses answer to the Vekoma suspended family coaster. I had hoped better for them, but it has no real reason to exist. Was rather rattly throughout, better off with the originals.
Immediately from here the usual shenanigans resumed. Walked to the other two coasters and found them both closed with no signs of life. I figured as there’s not a huge amount to do here, maybe there was some form of staggered openings going on, but they could have easily said so.
Walked to the Wonder House, a haunted swing thing – madhouses before they were cool, and stood at its entrance for 15 mins or so. It was playing ‘station’ audio announcements and unlike the coasters had no sign to say that it was closed. Turns out it was closed.
So we went to guest services to find out what the deal was, which requires leaving the park and getting a hand stamp, for some reason. The deal was they didn’t really know, and that all of the rides ‘should’ be open.
“Oh, but not the wonder house because it’s too hot.” “Well we’ve been round the park and there’s a lot not open.” “Oh, we don’t know then.” “So, does anyone know?” “No.”
It was around the climax of this conversation that I chose to reflect on something that had been nagging at me since our arrival in the park. Dutch Wonderland is a 5 time consecutive winner of Best Family Park in the World. Sure that’s just the Golden Ticket awards, and they notoriously suck, but in person this seemed far more egregious than the usual subjective ‘oh it’s just not my favourite rollercoaster, but I’m sure someone likes it.’ And this insult to the amusement industry is plastered everywhere, from the entrance to the park maps.
Had a good laugh about that for a minute anyway, then we resorted to our fast-becoming favourite activity of sitting on a bench waiting for a rollercoaster to open. During this time the entertainment came mainly in the form of other guests making a consistent habit of approaching, seeing the rides were closed and then loudly complaining about the fact that everything was closed.
Eventually, to no fanfare, this opened. I’ve forgotten what it’s called so, RCDB… #2 Kingdom Coaster.
I’d like to say we had a good run of new woodies on this trip for being at least above mediocre. This was about the least remarkable of the lot. At least it’s purple.
Being at the Best Family Park in the World hadn’t done much to raise our spirits, while Google’s threat of thunderstorms was looming over basically every other park we had planned for the rest of the trip.
However as we prepared to sack this one off and rechecked an actual contender for best park in the world, it turned out that the forecast had changed significantly in our favour.
Not only that, Flying Turns had just opened for the day. The decision to leave this place and it’s last potential spiting +1 couldn’t have been made more easily.
Knoebels
I love Knoebels, no other park does it like them. They deserve all the golden tickets.
Only thing we missed last time was their ever-finicky homebrew wooden bobsled thing.
The high tech weighing procedures and distribution of guests in the station is a great contrast to the traditions of the ride concept. Then we almost didn’t get it again as it threw a wobbly right at the point of dispatch, but this was quickly rectified, thankfully.
#3 Flying Turns is definitely a ride for which you need to sit back and think about what it does, to realise how awesome that is. I found onboard that it didn’t manage to express itself in an overly obvious way, though it was a little unhinged in the odd moment here and there. Maybe like many rides with this seating arrangement it’s all about the freedom. I was pretty wedged.
Park complete and there was only one thing on our minds. Phoenix. Lots and lots of Phoenix.
Much like Phantom’s Revenge this delivers an experience that I found was quite easy to downplay over time as to just how incredible it is. It simply sneaks up on you, in the midst of an epic (or in this case, less so) rollercoaster road trip and pow, has you questioning everything you know about rides and rankings.
I called it a list breaker back in 2022 and didn’t know what to do with it, after months of deliberation giving what felt like just a token spot in the top 25.
It did all that to me again from the first lap alone, there’s just nothing else like it that offers that raw but well executed, controlled but not controlled, safe but not safe, wooden coaster buzz bar ejection. Again and again until you’re physically hurt and can’t take any more. In the best way.
We see a lot through this hobby that rides can live or die on their restraint design and comfort or lack thereof. It lends a lot of weight to the grab them while you can mentality. They could very easily ruin this one at any time, I pray that they don’t. It’s so special. And better than Steel Vengeance.
Rode that until the thunderstorm warnings closed it anyway, instantly refunding our ride tickets, then headed over to the Haunted Mansion because I like it and it doesn’t care about rain.
Not quite as top tier as I remember, a few effects were broken and a few more obnoxious noises to balance it. Still a good vibe.
And that’s what Knoebels is about. Just a lovely place to be. I’m no park food connoisseur, mostly because park food mostly sucks, but Knoebels has some of the best and tons to choose from. And it’s reasonably priced. And it’s free to get in. And it’s free to park. And there’s trees. And it’s not Cedar Point.
The thunderstorm never hit in the end so we got to use the tickets we had believed were destined for another year. I had just enjoyed a ton of that food and was starting to feel the effects of getting old, but Phoenix remained glorious as ever.
Then we bought a ton of merch and left, happy as can be.
As soon as we knew we were getting the Lake Compounce passes, it was decided that Kennywood had to be on the cards. A true stand out of a park from one our previous slogs through the region and we still needed a dark ride and a +1.
Original plan was to hit the second park of the day first thing and then close the evening out in magical fashion at Kenny, but the continuing weather crisis quickly put paid to that notion.
Day 11 – Kennywood
Thankfully the only ride that was down here was the car park escalator. We’re back.
First thing you come to and first thing we needed was the Old Mill.
Was great to get on such an ancient dark ride and have a relaxing indoor sit down, laughing at a few skeletons along the way.
Jack Rabbit delivered a good time, with the unconventional layout and ‘that hill’ it never fails to. Park has a strong classic woodie game.
Spotted this Knex Vekoma version of Steel Curtain hiding in an arcade.
And there’s the real thing. Actually open in 2025, what a miracle. Steel Curtain has never let us down and it’s a fantastic ride. I’m always a sucker for things you can’t really get anywhere else, it’s just an unhinged modern take on multi-loopers with some good airtime chucked in, which rides both forceful and well.
Plus the whole package of the queue music, the football themed station announcements and build up, a man pushing buttons, the dispatch sequence, the trains, the look of the layout. Just find the whole attraction really well done (structural issues aside) and, even for style points, there’s nothing else like it. Wanted to buy my first shirt of the trip but as it’s America, the smallest they had was a large.
The cred we were missing was the #1 Lil’ Phantom, so this was of course obtained next. My first ever Molina & Son’s coaster, isn’t that something.
Did Ghostwood Estate, mainly for the shade, and then Thunderbolt, another great Woodie. The hill it’s built on with Phantom’s Revenge is one of those special places in a theme park for me. Interaction, views, it inspires things.
Hadn’t done the Noah’s Ark walkthrough before, and it was also pretty fantastic for some wacky funhouse antics. Shame Blackpool got rid of theirs, though I can see why with the clientele.
Cheat shot.
And then Phantom’s Revenge absolutely destroyed us in the best way. The comfy, unassuming armchair seats combined with forgetting how incredibly ridiculous the airtime is at the end, it’s just another masterful design. The build, the speed, the climax. Better than Steel Vengeance.
One lap of the park at a steady pace was all we could manage both physically and before we had to move on, but it was all we needed to remind ourselves how much we love this place. There’s an inescapable charm to it. A free visit, a +1. Perfect.
About an hour down the road it was time to put the pass to another use at
Idlewild & Soak Zone
We rolled into the park just as a thunder storm hit, which led to a rather special sequence of circumstances.
Firstly, the place was dead as almost everyone had just poured out and called it a day. Didn’t look good for the creds at the very least.
Secondly, we had no idea where we were going or what to expect. Turns out its like Farup Sommerland and you get your wristbands at a drive-thru window, but then there’s no real entrance.
All we found as we headed towards what looked like rides was a sign saying go back and enter through Story Land.
So we entered Story Land through this book and inside was Old Mother Goose, Raggedy Ann and Andy. Real life. We were all equally confused and amused as to why we had found ourselves in this situation, as they probed for details, in character, and managed to be the only people on the trip to compliment our Britishness.
A perfect storm of we’re lost, but we’re playing along, combined with thinking we hadn’t just arrived for the day and assuming all the rides were closed for weather led to a list of tips of how to enjoy Story Land in the meantime.
Catch is that Story Land does not lead to the rides, just more confusion on our part, the highlight of which was being asked to enter a house. “What’s inside?” I asked. “Geppetto” was the only response.
And he was, proceeding to tell us a bunch of stuff in character, all while we’re silently thinking ‘where’s the rollercoaster?’
After about 20 minutes of being lost in Story Land, we admitted defeat and asked Raggedy Ann and Andy where’s the rollercoaster?
In the end, there was no requirement to visit Story Land and the sign was misleading, but it was a better park than Cedar Point and killed some time.
And there was plenty more time to kill. Once in the main park, most of the rides were indeed closed, though with both staff and guests hanging around in anticipation. Refreshingly for an amusement park, communication was very clear at all times. We’re at stage X of weather rules. These rides are closed, these rides are open. These rides will open next.
However this is 2025, so the Alton Towers wild mouse had just undergone a refurbishment and was due to open a few days after our visit. Sending test laps all the while just to spite us.
So we sat on a bench outside the woodie for about an hour, and then it opened. Imagine that.
#2 Rollo Coaster was good fun, if a little unremarkable, but what can you really expect out of 27ft height? A small out and back romp through some woods with some decent forces here and there. +1, park complete, for now.
Nice little place, nothing like what I was expecting. Worth popping in on the pass for sure, but we’ll see what the Herschend takeover does to the value of it I guess.
Talking of nothing to do but coasters, it was time to revisit my old enemy.
After what turned out to be a very relaxed day, thankfully, we then had an insultingly early start to hit the US border one more time. The guy asked what we were doing that day and I told him Cedar Point. After checking the boot he slapped the side of the car and said ‘it’s gonna be a miserable day’.
He couldn’t have been more right.
Day 10 – Cheddar Point
You can often tell how much I enjoy a visit by the number of photos I take to commemorate the occasion.
There’s the entrance.
The early start of course was so that we could take full advantage of the passholder Early Ride Time that this place pretty much demands, sadly.
Top Thrill 2 was of course the main reason for our revisit and one of the most anticipated of the trip, though it was in one of its particularly awkward phases. They had recently announced on socials that it was being added to the list of ERT coasters around the time of our visit, but at the time of the announcement had not been operating for at least a few days prior to that date. The post didn’t age well.
We used our ERT to walk up to it and find a sign saying it was gone, but only temporarily. There were staff in the station, several more at the metal detectors and lockers and a couple more cleaning out the queue, glimpses of hope that they were preparing for something. We joined the queue with a number of other people, hoping to luck out.
50 minutes into our hour of ERT, a man appeared, to shout something inaudible and then physically change the sign outside from ‘Top Thrill might open today’ to ‘Top Thrill will not open today’. Guess it wasn’t happening then.
A classic Cedar Point experience.
Dejected, we reminded ourselves that the world’s best rollercoaster was just a short (long) walk away. So we used the remaining 10 minutes of ERT to head to Steel Vengeance and join the queue outside the entrance there. (The standby half, a fast pass queue had also been formed and, insultingly, was the same length).
30 minutes went by, before they announced that Steel Vengeance was temporarily unavailable.
A classic Cedar Point experience.
Maverick it is then.
With the ERT entirely squandered, Maverick was its usual miserable 90 minute queue. It has shade at least in the second half, but from here you get to witness the fact that the fast pass queue is also already out of its own entrance and taking half of the already limited capacity of the ride.
For reference, this was a Tuesday, one that crowd calendars deemed ‘quiet’, it was still dangerously ‘don’t go outside’ hot and their brand new rollercoaster was due to open later in the week, just to spite us, so we expected at least some form of lull in visitor numbers. No, not at Cedar Point.
Maverick was great anyway, exactly how I remember it. Strong airtime, fast transitions, decent length and a great sense of controlled power. A top 25 if mine wasn’t already full, love it.
From there we walked all the way back to Magnum, via Top Thrill because it was now testing…
Magnum was great anyway, exactly how I remember it. Strong airtime, not too rough, decent length and a great sense of uncontrolled triangular hills. We were surrounded by the quintessential American coaster experience here, constant whoops and hollers and weird comments like ‘God Damn that air time baby’ (on corners) and ‘Man I’m gonna feel that in the morning.’ Love it.
Internet said Steel Vengeance was back, so we headed back over there again and joined a ‘0 minute standby queue’. Sweet, maybe this day is paying off.
It wasn’t 0, physically it was at about the 30 minute mark. There was also a fast pass queue of equal length.
It wasn’t 30. The ride went down two or three more times while we were in the queue, for essential cleaning. Essentially the conditions were so poor that many, many people were falling ill.
Things that contributed to this, within the parks control:
Not being able to take water past the batch point. Holding a full queue of people past the batch point. Locker shenanigans. Holding a queue of people at the lockers. Holding a full queue of people past the lockers. Lack of communication. Not supplying people with water.
So in this endless miserable cycle where even I was feeling close to the worst I’ve ever felt at a park, it took about 2 hours.
And honestly, it wasn’t worth it. All it achieved was Steel Vengeance going down in my estimations.
My initial assessments hold in that it’s very long, full of amazing RMC stuff, blah blah. But it lacks that killer instinct, there’s no real standout moments. I’m a man of a masterful layout and it feels like it doesn’t know what to do with itself. Lots of elements don’t land, and most of the ones that do are done better elsewhere. I preferred Wicked Cyclone.
It was at the moment we retrieved our items from the lockers that I clocked the reality of this visit. We had ridden 3 things in 5 hours, and none of those were new.
We walked past Top Thrill for what turned out to be the last time. It had stopped testing again, the sign remained in place ‘guaranteeing’ its closure for the day and signs of life had only decreased.
Somewhere in the middle of the miserable heat of concrete and rides is a Snoopy shop with air-conditioning. We spent a significant amount of time here, recovering. A few other people were too, including some that looked very ill sitting on the floor. A staff guy awkwardly came up to a few different groups a few times and tried to half-heartedly move them along. ‘You can’t stay here’. Why?
Meanwhile ambulances were heading up and down the midway to provide medical assistance. It was an apocalyptically depressing day for an amusement park.
It took pretty much all we had left in the tank to say well, let’s get the +1 and leave.
So we rode #1 Wild Mouse. No review required.
Then we left.
That evening, several hours away, from a beautifully air-conned hotel room, the internet reported that Top Thrill 2 had reopened.
The next morning found us at Seabreeze. One of those names I’ve heard for years but never fully looked into.
Day 7 – Seabreeze
Wasn’t quite what I had expected given the notable history of the place, a bit more concrete and water slides than nostalgic seaside (lake) experience.
The park was perhaps the worst offender of the aforementioned ‘only Americans can use American websites’ observation as their special price ticket simply wouldn’t go through on a foreign credit card online. We raised this at the gate and they had no sympathy for it, then called the service number who also had no sympathy for it. Full price it is.
First thing we came to was the wrong #1 Jack Rabbit. In a similar vein to Yankee Cannonball a week prior, it didn’t do much of anything for me. Just a bit of cool, this is old, and then a tunnel at the end where everyone screamed too loud.
They don’t let you ride the kiddie cred opposite, not that it was open.
Most interesting ride here is of course the #2 Bobsleds. The little cars are very open and there’s a bit of poke to the particularly unorthodox layout here and there. An overall much more enjoyable piece of history with a slight bit of a sea breeze (lake) up top.
Lastly they have a stock Maurer spinner, #3 Whirlwind, that was scheduled to open after the morning rush, so just about now. About 15 minutes later than advertised, watched the guy appear, put some staff in for a test run and then open it up. Don’t like these very much, custom Maurers generally much better. +1.
Seems strange to me that this is a pay one price park, what with the vibe they’re sort of going for, the other ‘street’ entrance they have and its proximity to a beach and seaside (lake). I know we rarely stick around long in these cred runs but I feel like a lot of others wouldn’t want to either, just wander in to a quick curiosity, pay for a lap on a couple of old rides, buy some deep fried Oreo and wander out again.
A couple of hours down the road, whose online ticketing system worked absolutely fine, is
Niagara Amusement Park AND Splash World
This place worried us somewhat in the build up to the trip. In some eerily similar ways to Playland (NY) it seems like they struggled to get half their rides running quite often, even after delaying both their opening for the year and a second hand ghost train which, funnily enough, came from Playland (NY).
Fortunately for us on this occasion, #4 Silver Comet was ready to receive, so checked off another CCI from the list. It was decent, nothing too special, perhaps a little less wild than Excalibur had been, but more well paced throughout.
This was the ‘new for 2025’ dark ride and I recall some speculation over whether it had had any improvements since its move.
Well no, Flying Witch is about the most lacklustre and sparse ghost train I’ve ridden in recent memory, consisting of mostly empty tin sheds with broken effects, so I very much doubt it.
Had this guy though.
At the back of the park was the #5 Serpent. This was fun, it officially needs 4 people in a car to run, so like that Polish one that might be gone. The staff are particularly vocal and helpful about this, and will even throw themselves in if needs be. Luckily, our saviour came in the form of a lady nearby who hadn’t ridden it in nearly 50 years (?) and provided excellent commentary throughout.
Most of the rest of the park and car park consists of parts of rides such as this. It’s a fascinating scrap heap and would probably serve better as a museum at this point.
Did the job though, it’s time for another legend in
Six Flags Darien Lake
Smashing out this place as part of a three park day seemed optimistic given the state of the trip so far, but it’s Darien Lake, and we were loathed to lend it any more time than absolutely necessary. Plus, it was all part of the important grind to enhance our visit to Alpenfur… Plus, it’s Darien Lake, a perfect storm of nothing really matters.
Going for a logical approach, we started at #6 Ride of Steel. Dismal one train operations made a station wait almost unbearable, but they were at least a park wide consistent policy, and this thing kicked ass.
Was much better than New England Superman in both how it rode and the forces it dealt out. The last few hills really threw us around and make all the build up worth it, which is what these early layouts are all about.
It also managed to provide circumstantial comedy genius of its own as we were perfectly positioned behind an absolute NPC of a man. He had two default animations of jubilatory celebration that he had made it onto the ride and at any given moment would initiate them at entirely random points within the layout, be it silly straight, cruising corner or humpy hill.
I’m still in love with the fact that most people are able to get a pure 90 seconds of ‘I am on a rollercoaster’ bliss out of any hardware, something I can never hope to obtain in my lifetime, but seeing it acted out wordlessly to perfection enhanced my experience greatly.
#7 Predator could easily have been one of those rides that killed me, but it’s another recipient of the Titan Track treatment on this trip. When it’s bad, it’s bad, but where it’s reworked, it’s decent, so another one that can attest to the treatment being a success. The question is with rides like Predator is does it deserve it? I guess it’s about the only unique ride here.
Except maybe this one. Wrong #8 Viper involved another uncomfortably long station wait during which a particularly sweaty guy screamed ‘could we start the fans, PLEASE!’ only not with that wording, accent or internation. I wish. He was promptly ignored by the staff and as I gazed upon the rust that was holding the questionable cooling system together I internally surmised that this was probably for the best.
On paper this is like Arrow’s Goudurix, what with the batwing and all. Much like Goudurix it doesn’t ride as bad as it should and garners a very solid ‘it was ok’.
Time was ticking a little by this point so we kept ploughing through. Calculations dictated that park complete could have been won or lost at #9 Tantrum with its single 8 seater car and being, depressingly, one of the most popular rides here. Luck shined down upon us as we received a very early callup to fill some empty seats, skipping about half the queue.
It rode like ass and continued to make me question why I still supposedly like a couple of Eurofighters out there. Paultons, 2026!
Speaking of ass, it was time for our first SLC of the trip in #10 Mind Eraser. Never ceases to amaze me how much they suck.
Speaking of suck, next on the list was #11 Boomerang. Never ceases to amaze me how unpleasant these can be.
Speaking of unpleasant, the final ride was #12 Moto Coaster. Don’t like the seating position, how they ride, or the layout of these. Never have, never will. Also the layout of the park is stupid and you can’t get to it from the adjacent Boomerang without a massive walk around the entire lake (lake).
There is however a sneaky shortcut in the opposite direction as you can nod at a security man, get a hand stamp and leave the park through a camping ground and rather nice looking shopping area out the back.
This brings you round to another more pleasant aspect of the park, nature and some views of these two in the setting sun.
Upon reflection of our successful completion, it wasn’t pretty, but you’re alright Darien Lake, you’re alright.
There was one silver lining to Quantum Accelerator’s fake opening date forcing us to stay in the area longer than necessary. Over the past few days we’d been religiously checking good old queue-times.com for a number of reasons, not least
Boulder Smash was back.
Day 6 – Lake Compounce (again)
Making use of our sweet, sweet preferred parking we hit the park at opening and headed straight to redemption town.
Sure enough, a station wait invited us aboard the front car of #1 Boulder Dash and we were soon on our way up the intimidating lift hill, surrounded by forest, no idea what was to come. I’d managed to avoid spoilers for this long.
Turns out it’s a simple but interesting layout. Swooping turn drop, a very long straight filled with stuff, swooping turn drop, a long straight filled with stuff. Brakes. This didn’t quite tie up with my expectations of it being anything like crazy, wild or out there. Rather than the terrain beast it could have been in my head, and some of the fleeting glimpses you get of it offride, it’s just a simple concept, done well.
The first ‘straight’ bit is actually full of slight corners, snaking along the hillside with a bunch of moderate hills and airtime, and a few laterals for good measure. The final straight is all hills of varying sizes. Some of them land really well and some of them don’t. There’s titan track from a re-work in a few bits and this seems to have helped it along, notably smoothing out the base of the first drop and providing a very respectably floaty hill towards the end.
One of the most impressive things about Boulder Dash is the way it just kinda chugs through the whole layout at a decent pace. You lose a sense of scale and height amonst the foliage but the momentum built out of the understated two big drops carry it through tons of elements without ever noticeably losing speed, nor ever feeling overly fast. It just goes.
General consensus had told us to stick to the front of the train for the best experience, and we did for the remaining morning laps we could grab before the queue built too badly for the single train operation. Perhaps it is more wild at the back, but I think that’s just due to exacerbated roughness rather than design. Up front is a perfectly fun time if you can avoid the bugs. Recommend sunglasses on, enjoying.
Overall very happy to add the name to my list, Boulder Dash is of course a legend and deservedly so. It wasn’t my absolute favourite CCI but it’s up there, and I have to assume stands as a great inspiration to some of the more modern greats in wood coaster design. Would love to try it at night one day.
But we had places to be, the last minute reshuffling of parks couldn’t allow for us to be anything but efficient or something would lose out on this trip. Nickelodeon Universe had been on the cards for about the tenth time in these trips but their website clearly stated both Sandy and Takabisha weren’t available so it just didn’t seem worth the trek, again.
Instead, a simple 4 hour drive landed us at old mate
Dorney Park
For all the bad rep this place gets or used to get, including from myself with the more tongue in cheek mockery, we had a damn good time on our revisit to Dorney Park. Be that just an effect of some of the worst visits imaginable in the lead up, 2019 Skyrush man was right, it was kicking multiple asses.
We of course started at the new boy, god damn I-ron Menace.
It’s not very good, but it’s not that bad either. Same old big drop, same old elements, slightly above average pace. With modern B&M seemingly in this rut of producing poorly tracked, 300ft, 30 million dollar coasters, #2 Iron Menace rode fine, if unremarkable.
And that sums up the entire attraction really. They’ve tried for a bit of theming here and there, but not really. They’ve tried to incorporate the stupid Impulse into the same area and theme, but not really. You have to go out of your way to see this particular bit, and it’s behind a toilet. The little fiery pit to hell they put under the base of the drop looks absolutely comical in size, design and placement. It really could have used something more for that intimidation factor and it seems like simply no one cares about these dive machines any more. The point of the vertical drop has been lost along the way.
And then there’s just nothing else to give you that story. Which could have been Dr. D levels of obnoxious, sure, but we walked on it, rode it, walked off it, and felt no particular desire to do so again. +1.
Instead we headed over to Steel Force and experienced a real rollercoaster.
I’d completely forgotten how ridiculously good these things can be, in the haze of riding all of them in one stupid trip several years ago. The ’90s weren’t messing around and 2025 is a joke. Steel Force was flawless.
Beautifully smooth, powerful airtime, intense speed, a wild turnaround, very long satisfying ride experience and a train and restraint system that lets it all just feel that 20% more alive. Most importantly, a sense of pure joyous fun. An absolute masterclass and one of the highlights of the trip.
Some may say you should be riding cloned Arrow loopers (trash like Steamin’ Demon) while you still can, cos they’re a dying breed. No. Ride Morgan hypers while you still can. Total treasures. Except Steel Eel.
Anyway, there was still another +1 to get after our previously failed completion of the park. The poxy wild mouse with an ever disproportionate queue time.
Queued a disproportionate amount of time given everything that had just happened only to sit in the car, get despatched into some form of station brake skip and then be kicked off because the console was throwing up a fault. So close.
So we went to ride Hydra the Revenge while they worked on that. Another walk on.
It’s good. Perhaps not quite as good as my memory served, but still massively appreciate the out of the box layout on offer. What with the Steel Force turnaround and couple of bits here, Dorney on it’s slight hill has an underrated terrain game. Oh, and interaction game. I forgot the best part about Steel Force, we had the perfect race alongside Thunderbolt, it was magical, like being at Liseberg all over again.
Miraculously they fixed their fairground ride without much delay and we bagged the #3 Wild Mouse. Park complete.
There was then time for one more ride before we had to leave for the night
I had clocked Demon Drop as actually being open for once and wanted to add it to the Intamin drop tower collection, so we did. These are technological treasures and always ones to behold. Terrifying and unhinged is another way to put them and for that reason I love ’em.
I stand by my thoughts from 3 years ago, perhaps with even more conviction. On paper this park looks like it sucks on an American scale because it lacks a destination coaster or hard hitter. The reality for a foreign visitor however is that most of us would kill for a Dorney park of our own. Maybe that’s not possible because the nature of it being overshadowed by giants grants it that freedom to have a solid, well-rounded collection of walk-on major coasters in the middle of summer, but it’s everything I wish Thorpe was right now.
All in all a successful day. Can we make it two in a row?
Back in the warm embrace of the states we were ready for, on paper, the most chill day of the trip.
Ideally would have gone harder, but even after significant maths following the failures of the past few days, and of the amusement industry in 2025, there was simply nothing else to be gained in the region.
Let’s hope it’s a good one then.
Day 5 – Six Flags Great Escape
Though a little crowded first thing, impressions were positive at the entrance. Ownership of this place is steeped in history, so it’s a little less Six Flags at least on the surface. Visually very nice, for the first 10 paces into the park.
And for a few other patches here and there, appreciate the effort in theming. Wanted to start the morning on Bobcat but it wasn’t ready. Wasn’t clear whether this was technical issues or just staggered openings, but it resulted in yet another session of sitting on a bench looking at a closed ride. From one park to another. Sometimes you start to doubt your choices.
Anyway, the guy outside also told people that Comet was closed for now, so we just took a wander and found this nice little tribute.
Then beyond that, through a waterpark because the layout of this place was weird, we could tell that #1 Comet clearly was running.
Thus it became coaster #1700 for me, and it was a good one. Bit of a surprise hit amongst the woodies on this trip as I knew literally nothing about it. Solid, old fashioned fun with great tracking, surprisingly good forces and comfy trains. They clearly look after this one and I liked it a lot.
Upon the return to #2 Bobcat, it had opened. This completed the set of baby Gravity woodies for the trip, and the world I think. Only got Australian Leviathan left to ride from the manufacturer I call my boys. Also just found out this was my 150th wooden coaster, so two milestones in one park. If measured in 50s, the fact that there are less than 200 woodies operating in the world means this could be the last, which is crazy to me. Unless I keep going hard and they keep opening more.
Enough gooning, how was the ride? Meh. It packed nowhere near the same punch as Roar-a-Saurus, or even Wooden Warrior, while also managing to feel criminally short. They all are of course, but there’s a certain magic to feeling like you get more than you should out of a drop. Bobcat felt like less, most like Timber but also way less potent. I guess it didn’t particularly suffer from pacing like many do, there wasn’t a noticable sap of energy at any point, just no noticeably strong element either. One of the weakest for sure and not a good representation of modern Gravity sadly, on this occasion.
With that slight disappointment out of the way, the park very quickly began to fall apart.
The Boomerang was closed because it’s 2025 and it’s just had a refurb, so they can’t reopen it yet. That puts us 2 for 4 on Boomerangs, yay?
The mine train was closed because it’s 2025 and they haven’t finished their ‘improvements’ yet, 1 month into a park that essentially has a 3 month season. American calendars make these win rates seem all the more despairing.
They don’t let you ride the kiddie cred.
#3 Steamin’ Demon it is then. Mercifully it had no queue as that would have been nothing but sunburn and misery. Rode awfully and the comedy of the name wasn’t enough to save the character. Desperately needed a song. Have you heard the demon? Have you heard him steamin’?
And that was Six Flags Great Escape. Bit of a wash, 3 creds, 3 spites, 3 hours. Not particularly impressed, other than Comet. Come for Comet if you want.
Heading further north it was time to put the Lake Compounce passes into practice.
Day 3 – Story Land
Which seem to be quite a rare thing, as they didn’t understand the concept of free parking for a non-home park. It’s not that far is it..?
A slightly drizzly day and being what appeared to be rather off the beaten track led to a rather pleasant outing, beginning with #1 Polar Coaster.
The walrus on the train is living his best life for this quirky little terrain improved romp.
The main draw was of course #2 Roar-O-Saurus, another baby Gravity woodie.
It was absolutely wild for its size, a real standout and testament to when they nail it, they nail it.
The layout reminded me most of an amped up Oscar’s Wacky Taxi, to the point that I had to do a little research to check for similarities. While they share the first drop, a curved tunnel at the back and the concept of twice out and back, the dino is rather more twisted.
It’s probably those laterals that add extra oomph to all the silly but amazing little pops of air it manages to extract out of 40ft. Feels redundant to say they pack a surprising punch at this point, but this one really, really does, potentially more than any other of the size. Loved it.
And that’s the park. They’ve got a train, some woods, story book dioramas and a chance to have tea with Cinderella. But it’s all about one thing and it’s worth the trip.
We had two more points of intrigue on the way up to Canada for the night, but only one of them involved coasters, so
Santa’s Village (Jefferson, NH) 2025
Initially the concept of a year round Christmas themed park, not least an American one, honestly sounded like hell on earth.
But it was fine, much like the previous park, just a chill family day out in some greenery, with friendly and enthusiastic staff. And with what was to come over the next couple days and weeks, easily one of the best of the trip.
First up was the shooty dark ride. Great Humbug Adventure originally opened in 2000, but was given a full overhaul and upgrade in 2020.
No ghosts this time, rather humbugs, who are giving old scrooge a hard time. Some good old-fashioned, but modern, shooty dark ride fun. Well done Sally, again.
A three-looper SBF spinner this time – how exciting for #3 Poogee Penguin’s Spin-Out Coaster
And to close out, they’ve got a shiny new Vekoma in #4 Midnight Flyer. The first of this layout to open, it’s already branching out to at least 4 continents, but as a shining example to the quality of their products these days. Glossy smooth and just the right amount of poke.
I had naively thought that we could escape some of the more disgusting heat this trip, as prior to flying out literally every destination had been expecting a cool 21°C for the forseeable. While that came true for the first day, from here on out it was completely out the window and never really recovered. I’ll take this opporunity to apologise for having to uphold the tradition of a British man complaining about the weather while on holiday.
And so, now heading towards the mid-30s and with a sea of school buses containing school leavers descending on the park in front of us, we had a less than ideal visit to
Day 2 – Canobie Lake Park
To be fair, the crowds themselves were pleasant enough. This was no hell on earth at Hellendoorn, just excessively, excessively busy with a bunch of well-behaveds for what is essentially an unremarkable lineup.
The park isn’t really built to take a queue and as such most, if not all lines were already spilling outside entrances onto the pathways. In for the long haul we just went with the flow and waited a solid 90 minutes for the ol’ #1 Yankee Cannonball.
Not really worth that sort of wait, it had no choice to be a one and done but probably was anyway. It goes into the car park, does a few wooden rollercoaster things and then you get off and get on with your day.
We were clearly dealing with an age range that were ‘too cool’ for the #2 Dragon, so it only took a handful of cycles to get on this one. They were batching it super fussy and slow though, like let two into the station, personally guide them to the front row, sit them down and talk to them, before letting the next two in for the next row and repeat. Maybe something did kick off once. I expect nothing less, for a powered dragon.
There’s the lake.
The Mine of Lost Souls was pretty cool. A more trippy, out there Sally dark ride that didn’t involve shooting for a change. You go in the titular mine, but then end up in Egypt and laughing in the face of death, all kinds of fun weird. Recommend.
As yet another place hadn’t opened their ‘new for 2025’ SBF spinner, to much uproar, last cred in the park was expected to be a faff of low capacity unshaded misery. Thankfully we discovered / remembered the wrong #3 Untamed had a single rider line which offered some shade and a slightly more reasonable wait time.
It rides rather awfully from everything after the loop though, much worse than old mate Rage. Everyone just got off visibly red in the face and / or ears, complaining. Thus spawning a new phrase craze. Paultons, 2026!
And that was it for Canobie. Seemed nice enough on the surface, just didn’t really have the opportunity to appreciate it any better given the crowds. A tick off the list.
Funtown Splashtown USA
Next up was a park I was anticipating slightly more, after putting themselves on my map in 2023 with the opening of another awesome looking Sally dark ride.
But they also have a reasonably large CCI woodie, which was kinda cool. #4 Excalibur was playing a medieval version rendition of Linkin Park songs in the station, definitely put a smile on my face for that.
As for the ride, it starts strong and in the trees with some pretty wild moments. Then it forgets what to do with itself about halfway through, in the trees with some pretty boring meandering. Not bad.
And a #5 Wild Mouse. No need for an opinion here.
Business out of the way it was time to soak up the Whispering Pines Hotel. Queueline animatronic that can be entirely skipped is amazing and also vastly underappreciated.
And the ride itself is pretty damn good too. Shooting ghosts again, but in a far more story-based manner and with a lot more technologies involved in the decoration. It’s not as super atmospheric as I had perhaps hoped, but contains some really good figures, a sprinkle of magic here and there and a creepy cat called Katbattikus which I now own, so there was something for everyone. A personal highlight for sure. Recommend.
All in all, everything here was walk on, parking was free, wristband cheap after a certain time and on this occasion it was a great little place to spend a couple of hours.
Palace Playland
Back to business, there’s another couple of creds down the road, by a beach. Day parking is a scam here, as with most US seaside towns, but there’s some hourly street parking just one street over, by the little train station.
This is #6 Sea Viper, which is infinitely fascinating for being the largest thing Preston & Barbieri have ever built. You’re welcome.
And an SBF spinner not from 2025, called #7 Wipeout. No need for an opinion here.
