With so much spare time on our hands thanks to France and the Netherlands being no go zones, the next 2 days were spent at what I’d best describe as might as well parks.
And the first of them was Majaland, a park only recently added to the Polish coaster scene, located not far from the border with Germany.
The park is operated by Studio 100 and originally started life as another one of their indoor only parks, recently however they have expanded outdoors and added Poland’s only true wooden coaster, this is where we come in.
Inside stuff first though.
Rollercoaster Wikingów
Zierer Force Two clone that Studio 100 have added to almost all of their parks by this point. It was really well themed in places and thanks to being new and indoors was glass smooth.
Wilkołak is Polish for Werewolf, which is a fantastic name for a coaster and the park have done an amazing job theming it as such. The station building looks amazing inside and out, the queue looks great and the train being covered in claw marks is great attention to detail.
Sadly the coaster is a mirrored clone of an almost clone, but as we didn’t get to experience enough of Heidi The Ride to form a true opinion, Wilkołak will be fighting for it’s own honour as well as Heidi’s.
And it’s good! Wilkołak offers a experience that is purely fun, it doesn’t bring anything special or particularly exciting to the table but you could keep riding it all day and have a good time.
Next up we went to get the rare points from riding but not counting the park’s brand new Disk’O and with that we were done with the park, so after many more laps of Wilkołak we called it a day and took our leave.
While the park only had 1 attraction worth the effort, it was a pleasant enough visit, which is more than can say for my previous visits to Studio 100 parks…
Day 10
Today’s plan was to hit as many +1s as possible on our return to Germany.
Karls Erlebnis-Dorf Elstal
Starting with the first of the many Karls parks today. These parks are part theme park, part working food factory and part massive store selling all the tasty treats they make there. The indoor part of these attractions smell absolutely amazing and are guaranteed to make you hungry. We’d promised ourselves we weren’t allowed to have any treats until we had completed all 4 of the Karls parks however.
K2
The main attraction at this site and currently the best attraction at any of the Karls is K2, AKA Potato Coaster.
K2 is the largest Tube Coaster ever built by abc rides and is honestly awesome. It starts with a long and extremely well themed dark ride section before it travels outside, climbs 80 feet and then takes you on a far more intense ride than you’d imagine. Minimal restraints is an understatement so when this beast starts tearing around the track it is slightly concerning.
If it wasn’t for the slightly pricey pay per ride cost and the massive queue I’d have loved to have gotten in a few more laps.
We’ve also got places to be, not that Germany wanted us getting there… Between Karls Elstal and our next location we crawled and turned a 3 hour drive into a 4 and a half hour one…
None of the other Karls parks could match the quality of K2 but they did all feature some of the nicest looking Wacky Worms I’ve ever seen. They all had insane entrances, massive animatronics, crazy theming and gift shops.
Next up we planned to visit Rügen Park but it wasn’t to be. Though we arrived with over an hour of their operating day left, the entrance was padlocked shut and there were no staff in sight. We could see guests enjoying their day out through the fence, so they certainly weren’t closed yet. We decided to phone the park and explain the situation but this led nowhere. First time they laughed at us and then hung up, the second time they outright refused to answer the phone… Fair enough, I guess you don’t want our money then, thanks for nothing, oh and wasting our time…
Far too many hold ups and the bastards at Rügen Park had us now running extremely late, if we had just 1 more hold up we’d fail our quest.
Karls Erlebnis-Dorf Rövershagen
We arrived around 15 minutes before closing, would we have time to get both of the creds?
Yeah you read that right, this Karls site had 2 coasters and this threw a bit of a spanner in the works. We’d learnt the quickest ways to get to the rides at the previous Karls but with 2 coasters up for grabs and a much bigger location things were going to be extra tricky with our already super tight time limit.
Kaffeekannen-Express
After running around completely lost for a while, we finally arrived at Kaffeekannen-Express. This SBF Visa creation is currently exclusive to this location and offers an interesting experience as you ride around up high passing lots of special effects that are triggered as you approach.
Things were super desperate now and we were almost certain the other coaster had already closed, but with nothing to lose other than our dignity we sprinted in the direction of the final strawberry worm.
Erdbeer Raupenbahn
And we JUST made it! 30 seconds to a minute later and we’d have missed out, I couldn’t believe our luck, sometimes the coaster Gods shine on you. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so content on a Wacky Worm and the operator gave us a bonus lap to help us celebrate.
The prophecy had been fulfilled and we were now allowed to purchase some of them sweet smelling snacks.
But don’t eat too many because tonight we’ll be dining at Hamburg’s Rollercoaster Restaurant.
Mine and Heartline’s experience of the one at Europa Park was awful. Packed arm to arm with rowdy Germans, no food we actually wanted to eat and everything cost the Earth.
But tonight in Hamburg I really enjoyed it. Being the massive child that I am, the idea of ordering food on an iPad then watching it coast to you was amazing. So were the immense risks involved in getting the insanely hot pot of food off the track without burning yourself or dropping it. The food was fantastic too, as were the friendly members of staff, what an improvement, I am honestly a fan of these places now.
Today would see us visit a park I’d been eager to get to for a while now. Partly to check out their ride lineup (which just got much more exciting) and partly because thanks to Heartline the park was somewhat of a legend. He had a real miserable time last time he visited the park and I’ve made him recount the stories so many times that I almost feel as if been to the park myself at this point. Well today was the day for me to get my own Plohn experience, could it possibly be as bad as it was for Heartline last time?
Things certainly started terrible, as we got stuck in stand still traffic for half an hour just 5 miles from the park. Thankfully we still managed to make it before opening and were soon walking through Plohn’s newly refurbished entrance building.
Dynamite
And heading straight to the park’s latest and greatest coaster, Dynamite.
Dynamite is Mack’s 2nd attempt at their BigDipper model and it would be an understatement to say that Lost Gravity is a hard act to follow. I absolutely love that coaster, with it’s vicious airtime, violent laterals and snappy inversions. Does Dynamite stand any chance of even coming close to the original?
Well I didn’t think so. After looking at the layout and watching the POV, Dynamite appeared very short, lacking of airtime and not as crazy as Lost Gravity. And then I actually rode it…
I never should have never doubted the Mack boys, because they have absolutely smashed it out of the park with Dynamite, this thing is awesome. Yes, it is very short, but a lot of great things happen in the short amount of ride time.
Much like Lost Gravity, Dynamite is a vicious blend of airtime, crazy laterals and forceful inversions. Unlike Lost Gravity however, because it’s so short and has no mid course brakes, Dynamite throws all it’s violence at you in quick succession. This leads to Dynamite being a more intense experience, if also a much shorter one. This also helps make both coasters feel unique from each other, which is fine because I’ve got more than enough room in my heart for both.
The mood was then saved by the World’s greatest Wacky Worm. The ride operator was loudly listening to the radio, which was propped up on a seat by the control panel. It wasn’t club tunes or chart toppers blaring out though, it was a severly depressed German man breaking down while singing a song that was as tragic as it was catchy. I’ve never laughed this hard on a Wacky Worm before, I probably never will again.
Miniwah
Next up was Miniwah, one of the few highlights from Heartline’s last visit. The attraction is a heavily themed, completely enclosed, modern Mack powered coaster and it’s amazing. You take the first lap slowly to take in all the theming, then you power through the final 2 at full speed. It may be the slower first lap playing tricks but this thing seriously hauled when it got going.
El Toro
Before Mack graced the park with Dynamite, their star attraction was El Toro. El Toro is a GCI woodie that I previously was really excited to try, this was until I rode countless mediocre GCI creations and put myself off the idea.
Thankfully El Toro was the reintroduction to GCI that I’ve been waiting for and is a seriously fantastic wooden coaster. The bull is relentless and determined to keep you anywhere but your seat, hitting you with non stop pops of ejector, while also throwing you from side to side. It’s fast, it’s fun, it’s the reason I fell in love with GCI 5 years ago, why can’t they all be this good?
The final coaster of the park was Plohseidon and it was here that I got to experience an event similar to what Heartline had promised me. When it was our time to board the ride the operator opened the airgates for us but then walked off to play on his phone. After a while he came back and instructed us to lower our restraints. He then dispatched the coaster without checking the bars and as soon as we left the station he went straight back to playing on his phone…
After a quick lunch in the car we returned for more re-rides on Dynamite and El Toro before calling it a day when we were satisfied. Despite the warnings I managed to have a good day at Freizeitpark Plohn. As a park, today it was fine, if a little unprofessional in places. It’s the Dynamite/El Toro combo that really make the park worth the visit though.
Now it was time to drive to Poland and with that comes a great story.
After crossing the border almost nothing changed visually, other than Zadra billboards every now and again, it remained this way for the whole time we were on the motorway. Then it came to leaving…
Heartline was sure he’d booked a hotel just off the motorway, so we were all a bit surprised when the sat nav said we still had 30 minutes of driving left to do after we left. What followed was 30 minutes of driving on bad roads through small villages that were decreasing in quality and increasing in hostility the further we went.
2 minutes from our destination we entered a village in ruins, with a rabble of large aggressive looking men staring us down as we drove past. Please don’t let the hotel be here…
2 minutes later we apparently arrived at our destination as we drove past a collapsed farm house. Right… I think the sat nav is probably wrong. Let’s check Google Maps. Good news? We aren’t staying near the scary men. Bad news? We’re staying miles away, just off the motorway, where we’ve just come from…
But the story didn’t end there…
We started to follow Google Maps now, which took us on a different set of awful roads to get us back to where we started. These roads were terrible but they were about to get far worse. Out of nowhere the road we were on dropped 2 feet and turned into vicious cobblestones. We didn’t have time to react before we got true ejector air in a car and things got extremely bumpy. Conditions stayed this way for many miles before we finally found our way back to civilization.
After all that the hotel turned out to possibly be the nicest of the entire trip, which is a massive relief when just 30 minutes ago we had already accepted our fate of sleeping in a barn with 20 angry Polish men.
Thanks for reading, click here for the next part of my report, 2 glorious days with Zadra and Hyperion at Energylandia.
Today was set to be a really busy one with no less than 4 parks on the cards. For that reason we got to the first one early, before any of the rides were open, we’d have to choose our first coaster carefully.
Doggy Dog
And we did. Worryingly this wasn’t my first dog themed Wacky Worm.
Into the dark forest and to the infamous Wild Wind next. I’d been both excited and apprehensive to ride this legendary coaster model ever since I first saw a photo of one on RCDB.
It seriously looks like some failed backyard coaster with it’s 35 foot drop into a 10 foot tall badly transitioned sidewinder, which is then followed by a mess of badly transitioned turns that look they were drawn by a child. It was either going to kill us or allow us walk away feeling untouchable.
Despite what you’ll probably read online, it really wasn’t that bad. It’s awful yes, but I’ve ridden far more unpleasant coasters. I didn’t appreciate having to survive 2 laps however.
The park’s Vekoma Boomerang was next and it was far from the worst example of these I’ve ridden. I forgot to take a picture but everyone knows what a Vekoma Boomerang looks like.
Piraten Spinner
Finally something fun! The World’s only Zierer Spinning Coaster, if we trust RCDB. This thing was brutal and actively tried to end me several times on the many laps it took us on. “I’m spinning, I can’t see when the violent bit is coming, oh God no, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Loved it.
Just incase you think I uploaded the wrong photo, this coaster used to be called Drehgondelbahn. A shame they changed it really, it certainly rolls off the tongue in an amazing way.
Drachen Höhle
The final coaster of Geiselwind was located in the park’s brand new Chinese themed area. It looked really good and was a nice change from the forests and fields of the rest of the park.
I remember seeing this coaster years ago when it was on the travelling circuit and made a stop at Hyde Park’s Winter Wonderland. I was annoyed I didn’t ride it then but better late than never right?
The only Zierer Hell Diver ever built, which translates to single person cars doing large swooping turns through a tent full of smoke and lighting effects, I quite enjoyed it honestly.
Heartline’s wife swears there was a dragon animatronic in there but I didn’t see it, this both upsets and scares me.
Geiselwind was a strong way to start our day with it’s unique coaster line up, but now it’s time to get back on the road.
On route to the car we decided we’d give up on the least interesting of the 4 parks lined up today because it was now looking impossible that we’d be able to make all 4.
AltmühlBOB
AltmühlBOB was next, 2 alpine coasters in a field seemingly in the middle of nowhere, with nowhere to park either.
After following the advice of angry German men, we possibly illegally parked in another man’s field, before making our way over to the ticket office.
This was a shambles, just several hundred people in a rabble with no way of making sense of it. Because we had places to be, we took matters into our own hands and soon at least partially understood what was happening. There was a queue to buy tickets, then a queue each for both of the coasters but today all 3 were blending into 1. This meant you needed to be assertive as to which queue you were in.
Speed Bob
First up was something rather special. Speed Bob was an alpine coaster like no other. Firstly you don’t have any controls this time around, secondly it’s just a series of massive airtime hills in a row until you hit the brakes. It was great fun but lacked the feeling of risk you get when you’re given control.
AltmühlBOB
The other alpine was the traditional affair and not to say it was bad but it was weakest of the trip yet. I was able to complete the whole circuit at full speed with no risk of being killed. This was extra important because it began to heavily rain on the lift.
Erlebnisfelsen Pottenstein
After a quick lunch we arrived at Erlebnisfelsen Pottenstein and it was here that we concluded there was no chance of doing 4 parks today because we have barely made it to the 3rd one before park close.
Thankfully the place was heaving and there was a large group of people waiting to be batched inside 45 minutes before close. I’m going to assume park hours have been extended.
Frankenbob
First up was another traditional alpine coaster. Thankfully Frankenbob more than made up for AltmühlBOB in the intensity department and instantly became my new favourite alpine. Flying down a cliff, surrounded by trees, sitting inches off the rocks and hitting drops and corners at insane speeds, it was crazy.
Next up was Hexenbesen, a suspended coaster of sorts. Much like the powered version at Schwaben Park I found it to be completely pointless honestly but I did enjoy that you get to press your own dispatch button. Taking Heartline’s bag with all our essentials in on a suspended coaster was the other highlight.
Park complete we took a scenic drive to our hotel for the night. The hotel was located in a small town in the middle of nowhere and I couldn’t believe that they left the keys for us in a lockbox and we got to let ourselves into the hotel, that’s some serious trust there.
Thanks for reading, click here for day 5, where we visit Freizeitpark Plohn.
Today saw us return to 2 parks that were rather special to me. Special because they were both on what I consider to be my first real coaster holiday. Not special because they were any good the first time around.
Tripsdrill
Last time we visited Tripsdrill we walked away rather disappointed. The park’s attractions weren’t anything too special compared with the other parks on our trip and thanks to freezing weather and staggered openings the atmosphere did nothing for me either. Why are we returning then? The park had just opened the World’s first Vekoma Suspended Thrill Coaster and it looked awesome.
Hals-über-Kopf
And after seeing how busy the car park looked we powered straight to it. Thankfully this was just a tease because the coaster remained walk on all day.
It looks beautiful doesn’t it? Well the coaster itself does but in typical German fashion the station building is completely bare and still looks like a construction site. I’m sure it’ll look great when it’s finished though.
Do me a favour and pretend you can’t see the Junior Boomerang in this shot OK? Look at all those bare concrete walls and the lack of roof, crazy.
On second thoughts I do need to mention the interactions between Hals-über-Kopf and Volldampf (the Junior Boomerang). While they don’t really add anything to either ride experience they do look very cool and it’s one of the things that got me so excited to ride the coasters.
Enough about how it looks though, let’s talk about how it rides. It’s very good, certainly much more impressive than I was expecting going in. It’s fast, it’s got a great mixture of forces, the inversions are snappy and it’s got a real sense of purpose about it, I wasn’t expecting that. Despite what I stupidily proclaimed at the time, it is not quite worthy of entering the bottom of my top 25 (even more so after this trip) but the very fact I considered it shows how much I enjoyed Hals-über-Kopf. We need more of these things please Vekoma.
I’ve never been much of a fan of Vekoma Junior Boomerangs but I’d probably rank this as my favourite of the bunch thanks to it’s interactions with Hals, the goat on the back and the comedy this coaster caused on the day and for the rest of the trip.
We will come back later for more laps of Hals-über-Kopf but now let’s go re-live the park’s other attractions.
G’sengte Sau
Starting with Beer Coaster. Tripsdrill’s Gerstlauer Bobsled was riding slightly better than I remembered but it’s still just a slightly extended clone layout that does nothing for me.
I think I owe Mammut, the park’s Gerstlauer woodie, an apology. I really wasn’t all that interested in it 4 years ago and probably ranked it unfairly. Today however it was delivering a really fun ride, full of character, that had me and Heartline laughing the whole way round. Mammut I’m sorry and I’ve just moved you up in my woodie rankings, can you forgive me?
What I’m certainly not sorry about though is disliking Karacho last time because it still sucks. After recently riding and loving many Infinity coasters I was sure I was wrong about Karacho, but no it’s just not very good and is easily the weakest of all the Infinity models I’ve ridden.
Next up we rode the park’s rapids which was closed on our last visit. These things are always fun with friends but there wasn’t anything too special about it overall.
Also closed on our last visit was the park’s legendary log flume and wow, this thing was awesome and far exceeded my expectations. It’s huge and suprised me with a massive dark ride section and a backwards drop.
I was really starting to become a fan of the park at this point. Hals was far better I thought it would be, Mammut had become a bit of a beast, I really enjoyed the log flume and the atmosphere of the park was beginning to get to me. Sadly the park would throw it all away in the next hour…
We went back for more re-rides on Hals-über-Kopf and there the staff began to become aggressive towards Heartline for attempting to wear his glasses on the coaster. He wore them during all our rides in the morning but now it was a major issue. So while the coaster was still kicking ass, it wasn’t worth putting up with the aggression and inconsistency of the staff working on it.
We had originally planned to stay all day at Tripsdrill but after riding everything we wanted, including re-rides, the only thing left to do was re-ride Hals until close, a prospect ruined by rude staff.
So instead we called it a day and went to get a bite to eat before leaving. We visited a restaurant that on our previous trip was a real highlight but that wasn’t to be today. The food selection and quality had massively descended and the woman working in there made the aggressive idiots at Hals-über-Kopf look like employees of the month.
Let’s get out of here.
Schwaben Park
I quite enjoyed my last visit to Schwaben Park. It was fun exploring this lesser known German park and I enjoyed my rides on Force One. The reason for revisiting today, other than Tripsdrill annoying us, was the park had since added 2 new coasters. Neither of them looked any good but they were both very unique.
Wilde Hilde
First up was Wilde Hilde, one of only 3 operating RES Roller Ball coasters in the World. Off-ride this contraption looked like my worst nightmare and brought back horrible memories of Insane at Gröna Lund with the way it appeared to violently lurch it’s riders back and forth. Thankfully (I think) on-ride almost nothing at all happens and you just very slowly and completely pointlessly make your descent. It really wasn’t very good and I’m suprised RES managed to sell more of these.
Talking of not very good, neither was the park’s brand new attraction Hummel Brummel. This Wiegand creation can best be described as a suspended Bobkart but without the fun. I’ve no idea what made the park decide to add this costly mess to their lineup. It looks awful, the ride experience is completely pointless and despite the park being quiet it appeared to be an operational nightmare.
Thankfully the park is still home to Force One. This Zierer coaster, despite now rattling more than ever, still provides a fun ride that’s made even better with it’s fantastic train design. Schwaben I’m begging you, look after this thing, it’s still your star attraction.
Next we rode my other highlight of the park from last time, Bobkart. It didn’t quite hold up after riding Spacerunner yesterday but I still enjoyed re-living my first Bobkart experience.
Azura
On a lap of the park to make sure we hadn’t missed anything else that had been added since our last visit we stumbled on Azura. Which from the outside looks like a whimsical dark ride, from the interior queue looks like a ghost train, but it’s actually a water based special effects show that you travel around in a small boat. It was pretty awesome actually and a great accidental find.
And with that we were done.
Thanks for reading, click here for day 4, where we visit Geiselwind and ride more alpine coasters.
2020 was set to be the most exciting year of my life.
Almost as soon as the year started me and Heartline booked our much anticipated return trip to the US. There’s no doubt in my mind that this would have been the greatest trip yet, if not ever. Over 100 new coasters for the count, featuring among others, Cedar Point, Silver Dollar City, Kings Island and Holiday World. I had created my playlist and researched all the parks in great detail to make sure we got the most out of them, I even purchased a membership card to get us into Holiwood Nights for trimless Voyage. I was literally losing sleep in excitement months before we went and I’d wake up every morning and text Heartline a running countdown of the days until we left.
To make it even better, to break up the wait Heartline had a plan to visit Poland, a country we’d been putting off for a while but were both dying to visit. Zadra, Hyperion and Lech Coaster a couple of months before the best trip of my life, that’s almost too strong.
There was even serious discussion about a 2nd US trip in 2020, this time to Florida, a destination I’ve been dreaming of for years now.
And then it all went wrong…
Everything closed, everything ruined, you know the rest…
I rode my first coaster of the year in late July. Although an amazing day out it reopened the wounds of losing the trips I’d been so excited for.
Well it’s a good thing I’ve got Heartline.
Once stuff started to reopen he asked me this, “do you want to go on a mega trip across Europe that includes Poland?” ….yes!
A few weeks before our trip the UK government started to remove countries from their newly formed safe list. Here we go again I thought, another trip ruined, this was all I had this year and now it’s gone, can we just put 2020 in the bin now?
Thanks to sheer luck we thankfully would be able to go but with the understanding that anything could change at any moment. The first casualty of this was France and Fraispertuis, this meant we’d have to drive all the way to Germany without stopping. I’m just happy to leave the house at this point, I’m up for anything.
And anything it was, because now we’re not allowed to go to the Netherlands either, which means we’ve got a lot of spare time on our hands. Heartline rebooked the entire trip and it now included several parks I’d never heard of, but I’m not complaining, there’s something special about visiting the lesser known parks.
Day 1
Hasenhorn Rodelbahn
Finally it was here! The first and only proper trip of 2020, it’s never felt so right to get up at 2am and make the faithful drive to the Channel Tunnel.
In high spirits the 7 hour drive across France flew by and we were soon in the beautiful mountainous bottom left corner of Germany.
The first stop of the trip was something rather special, one of the longest alpine coasters in the World.
We parked in the pretty village at the base of the mountain and then after buying tickets jumped on the ski lift that takes you to the coaster’s station. Having never taken a ski lift like this before I managed to travel more than half way up the mountain before I realised that I hadn’t pulled the safety bar down… I’m not used to people putting this much faith in me not to be an idiot.
How was the trip back down though? It was amazing! And a little bit scary.
Normally on alpines I just pin the handles to the floor and take it all at full speed but this beast showed me pretty early on that wasn’t going to work today. Several times on my long descent I had to feather the brakes to stop myself from being destroyed.
It was fast, it was intense, it was long, the views were stunning, what a great way to get back into the game and to start the trip.
We had planned to visit a second park today but by the time we were finished at Hasenhorn we wouldn’t have been able to make it much before park close. Thankfully we’d be able to add it to the already stacked list of activities for tomorrow.
Day 2
And we did.
Steinwasen Park
Around 25 minutes north of Hasenhorn was Steinwasen Park, a small family oriented park that was nestled in yet more beautiful mountains.
We were rather busy today so we arrived at opening. Despite what their website claimed the rides and attractions wouldn’t be opening for another hour though, so we’d have time to explore first.
Steinwasen Park is also home to a strong selection of animals which is always appreciated. This big horny bastard had the right idea, it was very hot today, as is tradition whenever we visit Europe.
Sight seeing over, it’s almost time for the rides to open.
Coasterbahn
And first up was Coasterbahn, another alpine coaster. Now obviously it wasn’t as good as the monster from yesterday but it was easily my 2nd favourite I’ve ridden of these things. I think I’m getting hooked!
Next we rode the park’s crazy elevator lift water ride, you can see it in a previous photo. This was far better than than any of us expected, which almost caused the death of Heartline’s wife who wasn’t braced for what this thing was handing out.
Gletscherblitz
Next was Gletscherblitz, a Mack powered coaster that takes place almost entirely indoors, features the previously pictured yeti and duels with a Bobkart. It was good fun with it’s wacky set up and strong (for it’s type) coaster layout.
Spacerunner
Speaking of the Bobkart, it was named Spacerunner and it was pretty awesome. I love Bobkarts as they are but this one being indoors, duelling with Gletscherblitz and with strobe lighting made everything feel extra intense.
And that was everything we deemed worth experiencing at Steinwasen Park with our limited time. I liked this park and I’m sure with enough time on your hands you’d easily enjoy a whole day here.
Tatzmania Löffingen
A 45 minute drive east on awful roads took us to Tatzmania Löffingen, a zoo that features a small amusement park area with 2 coasters.
We moved at serious pace through this park so it may be our fault but to me it felt as though the staff here weren’t as great as those as Hasenhorn or Steinwasen. This is strange when you consider that all 3 parks are owned by the same people.
African Spin
First up was African Spin, an SBF spinner. I was just happy for this thing to finish because we were getting seriously sunburnt while riding.
Next and last was the park’s Gerstlauer Bobsled coaster, Gold Rusher. I was rather excited to see how this new (to me) layout rode but thanks to being stapled in half by the angry ride operator I was just happy for it to be over.
Just over the Swiss border, barely an hours drive from Tatzmania, lives Conny-Land, Switzerland’s only real amusement park. The park doesn’t have a massive selection of attractions but is home to 2 that are absolutely worth making the journey for.
Before we get to them though let me first say the staff here were great and all showed great pride in working at the park.
The main reason for coming to Conny-Land was of course their insane Pax shuttle coaster named Cobra. I’m a huge fan of the previous Pax creations I’ve experienced and Cobra was no different.
You board the fantastic new for 2020 trains, which are comfy and also extremly open. This becomes terrifying almost instantly for some as you climb the beyond vertical spike that starts the coaster and are forced to use your legs to stop yourself from sliding out of your seat.
Once you are thankfully released you fly through the station and into 2 airtime hills which provide decent air on the first pass. Then you enter an intense loop before experiencing the scorpion’s tail which provides great hangtime and holds you dangerously close to the top of the loop.
Before you experience it all again in the opposite direction. Note how I didn’t say backwards or forwards at any point, this is because the new trains have seats facing in both directions, so it’s completely up to you which way is which. Me and Heartline preferred boarding the train in the backwards seats, yes the lift isn’t anywhere near as scary but the rest of the coaster is even more fun.
Conny-Land is also home to another extremely unique creation that’s almost on par with Cobra for how messed up it is, it’s known only as Mammut Tree.
You board a free swinging 16 seater cable car, that after a bit of teasing takes you into a massive tree where things happen. Almost all of the fun of this thing was wondering what was going to happen next inside that tree so I will remain tight lipped but I assure you it’s both terrifying and amazing.
Dino Attack, the park’s slightly ghetto shooting dark ride was next. It’s a pretty low budget affair but we had fun with it nonetheless.
After a loop of the park to make sure we hadn’t missed anything, we took a few more re-rides on Cobra before playing with some parrots and then taking our leave.
I’m quite the fan of Conny-Land and I hope that despite the lack of competition the park continues to grow in the future.
To end the day we went for a spot of sight seeing around Liechtenstein.
I’ve always been the kind of person who likes making lists, so to no one’s surprise I have a list of parks I consider easy to get to but I haven’t visited yet, at the very top of this list was Germany’s Heide Park.
Heartline had told me it’s a lovely park, with a solid ride line up and beautiful German operations. Another enthusiast friend of mine, Stealthfan, had told me the park reminded him of 2000’s era Chessington and Alton Towers, otherwise known as when these park were at their best and helped to mould me into the ride nerd I am today.
The main reason for visiting though was Colossos, the park’s Intamin prefab. It had just been reborn after years of neglect led it to standing but not operating for nearly 2 seasons. Prefabs are my favourite kind of woodie, so the reopening of this monster coupled with the strong words from my friends had me dying to pay this park a visit.
Another early start today but I’d soon scare myself awake up by flying down the autobahn at 130mph. Obviously this led to us arriving at the park a little too early but that was fine. I’d been following the park’s queue times recently and it looked as if I’d need every minute possible in order to make the most of the park.
We walked into the park and through it’s pretty entrance area before arriving at a containment gate that stopped you getting to the main park before it was time. At first this was a little off putting, several hundred people crammed behind a gate, but then to my surprise, the park turned this into a really fun experience.
A really entertaining man arrived to hype up the crowd, tell some jokes and lead us all in an amazing countdown to the gates opening, as pyros were set off and a beautiful musical score blasted. Then we were in…
Unlike Lotte World, it seems running is fully accepted in Heide Park, as the man himself was encouraging us to run to Colossos. Past waving mascots we bolted, waving back of course, on route to the back of the park, to the beast, to Colossos. This run ended up being strangely awesome, it was so funny to see the determination leave people’s bodies as their stamina faded. Me and my brother were dropping and drawing deep breaths on all manner of park furniture, until we finally made it.
When Colossos was reborn for 2019 and the Kampf der Giganten subtitle was added, a lot of work had been done. This included the new station, new trains, a new theming element near the end of the ride, a new soundtrack, oh and retracking the entire coaster.
Having ridden (and loved) all the prefabs except Colossos, while at the air gates I decided to start worrying my brother. “You are about to experience airtime like you’ve never even dreamt of before.” “Is it THAT scary?” “I’d say it’s probably scarier than you’re thinking yeah.” Him terrified and me buzzing, we took our seats in the back row of the brand new trains and off we went…
While ascending the lift, while smiling like an idiot, I decided to keep teasing him. “You see that drop (160 foot at 61 degrees), you are going to be ejected so hard man.” Then it came, and the only thing ejected was my dreams…
The drop was completely forceless and trimmed, unlike any other prefab. Don’t worry though, here comes the first airtime hill, if this is anything like El Toro or T Express I’m about to be launched into orbit. Nope! Mild floater at best… Oh and more trims on way down… I begin shouting in disgust and a woman in the row in front turns around to stare at me with a face like a sack of screwdrivers.
Next hill, trimmed on the way up AND down, also pointless, if that was El Toro, I’d now have a T bar shaped bruise on my thighs but it’s not, what’s even happening? I shout again, “where’s the freaking airtime????” The woman turns around, this time really angry.
Here comes the turnaround… On Toro, it’s a time to breath but also forceful enough to keep you amused. On Colossos, it’s a time to question why the coaster has no airtime at all but then goes on for long enough that you get bored.
Speed hill, does nothing, I’m still shouting, woman is now 180 degrees in her seat to stare at me.
Next they trim a barely moving coaster travelling in a straight line into a smooth but utterly forceless helix. “WHAT IS THIS????” The woman is livid now and so am I.
To end Colossos, you are treated(?) to 3 airtime hills, that don’t have airtime, with the final one of them going through the previously mentioned new theming element. Then it’s over.
To say I was disapointed would be the understatement of the century. I got off the coaster, walked through the shop, didn’t even look at the merch that I was sure I’d end up buying today and went off to explore the rest of the park.
We’d end up riding Colossos another 3 times throughout the day, in different parts of the train, at different times of the day and it rode like crap every time. Heartline and Stealthfan were both surprised to hear how badly it was riding and both implied it was probably ruined during it’s retracking.
It seems such a shame to bring it back to life to be a shell of it’s former self. Never mind though, I’ve still got the Bull, the Balder and the Korean Bae.
Desert Race
Next up, while everyone was still running to be disappointed by Colossos, we thought it would be a good time to ride Desert Race, the park’s Intamin hydraulic launch coaster.
This coaster is almost Rita at Alton Towers but somehow rides a lot smoother and more forceful. I enjoyed it and so did my brother who normally hates Intamin accelerator coasters.
For better or worse, with Colossos knocked off so easily, I now had time to admire the park on route to Flug. Heide Park is beautiful and has a very welcoming atmosphere, the kind of park that’s just nice to exist in. I can totally see where Heartline and Stealthfan were coming from when describing the park to me, they aren’t wrong, it really is that nice.
Flug der Dämonen
While I’m talking up the park’s commitment to atmosphere, there’s no better example than the area Flug lives in.
Beautiful theming, a wonderful sinister soundtrack, it’s awesome, and yeah, it is like something you’d have found at Alton Towers in it’s golden years.
The coaster’s queue and station continue this trend and are both perfect at setting the tone.
Flug der Dämonen didn’t let Wild Eagle remain my favourite B&M Wing Coaster for long. It’s intense, flows perfectly, looks beautiful and it’s interactions with the amazing theming are incredible. I really liked Flug and for me it’s the best ride in the park.
After Krake we went for some crepes and they were both well priced and delicious, are we sure Merlin own this park?
Big Loop
To let lunch settle we decided to join the 10 minute queue for Big Loop, the park’s Vekoma looper. The only thing we didn’t account for was German efficiency, because almost instantly we were spotted as a 2 and asked to power through the queue to fill the train. Stomach don’t fail me now.
Big Loop was fine, a lot smoother than I was expecting.
Bobbahn
The only Mack Bobsled in operation that I hadn’t ridden, and what a great example of the hardware this was. Maybe not quite as good as Blackpool’s Avalanche but a close second best.
Even the lovely Heide Park can’t escape the ugliness of the SLC, thankfully Limit didn’t ride too badly and it’s hidden away at the back of the park where you can just pretend it’s not there.
Next up was another ride on Colossos, still crap.
Then we visited the Donut Factory for a sugar rush to cheer ourselves up. I didn’t know the Donut Factory had made it outside of Thorpe Park, so it was a lovely surprise because I really enjoy the messed up creations they make here.
Ghostbusters 5D
The park’s screen based shooting dark ride was quite fun but nothing too special. Sadly it just amounted to shooting generic ghosts over and over, as opposed to having much to do with the actual franchise that I mildly enjoy.
Drachengrotte
I’m a huge fan of the How to Train Your Dragon franchise however, so I was really excited to try out the park’s boat ride themed to it. It was nothing mind blowing but I’ll enjoy anything that plays the amazing score from the movies.
Grottenblitz
The 2nd Mack powered coaster of the trip, this time featuring a highly detailed indoor section.
Indy-Blitz
We finished up the coasters of Heide Park with a ride on their Zierer family coaster Indy-Blitz.
Scream
After some pizza, also really nice, it was time to experience the ride I had been putting off, Scream. Scream is the park’s 200+ foot tall gyro drop tower and it’s awesome. It’s geared to absolutely terrify you, with the way the queue wraps around the base of the tower and also the haunting soundtrack. Scream also provides an amazing drop, one of the best pure freefall drops out there.
Not wanting to end the amazing day with a disappointment, I forced my brother to follow me back to Flug, which had a 5 minute queue, for “2 more laps only I promise.”
Desperate to buy the Heide Park soundtrack, we visited the park’s main shop, where I chatted to a very friendly lady about how good my day was and walked away with several ride postcards. Sadly they didn’t have the soundtrack on park but I have since ordered it from IMAscore and it gets blasted on the regular.
I had a fantastic day at Heide Park, yeah it’s a shame Colossos is bad but it didn’t bother me too much because in the end I just found myself having so much fun that I forgot about it. Oh and Flug helped that too, bow down to the Dämonen.
Due to a crash on the autobahn, we were forced to go the rural way back to our next hotel, also in the Netherlands. This was great for sight-seeing but terrible for my already desperate looking fuel tank. In the end we made it to a petrol station 1 mile from the hotel with only 4 miles of range left in the tank.
We had an interesting arrival at the hotel. There was a massive wedding party going in the lobby area, with deafening live music being played. So I had to check into a hotel like you’d order a drink in the club, with shouting and strange hand movements. Thankfully once we reached the room it was completely silent though.
Thanks for reading, click here for day 3, the death of Walibi Holland, also featuring the best RMC I’d ever ridden.
I have a confession to make: I went to Phantasialand. For no reason at all. And it was alright.
The original plan for the day (well, the original original plan was Efteling) was to grab an unremarkable +1, then do 2 German fairs back to back on the way home. One of those fairs went AWOL at the last minute so we were left with a tough morning decision. a) Stick to the plan, albeit less of it, have a somewhat slow day and risk it being a bit of a downer, dragging our heels until the late night chunnel. b) Or, Phanny’s (this is what fans call it, right?) only 20 minutes away. There’s nothing new, that thing with the walls isn’t open yet, we haven’t really enjoyed the place but umm… there’s plenty to keep us occupied and we can finish the trip on Taron instead of a bench. Maybe you need a global pandemic to have a good time there? Ah… go on then.
Day 12 – Phantasialand
Started better than last time. Into the good car park with no one shouting at us, into the good entrance – might have been greeted with a smile for the first time but, you know, masks.
Straight to Taron. Not 90 minutes and no one smoking! We did need a global pandemic after all. Crossing the bridge to the sound of the trim kicking in directly above your head was new to me, also hilarious. They’ve done some work to the cattlepen area since I last remember. It looks a little less multi-storey car park now, plus some extra rooves, lamps and gremlins in jars. Fair play. It broke down. Again. That’s 3 for 3.
Finally got more than 2 rides per day on it and I think I’ve actually managed to suss out the layout. I’m not sure if doing this has helped the ride though. At least I found that one airtime moment everyone’s always on about.
That one, yeah? It’s alright. The rest of the layout felt as inconsequential as ever, if not more so. Where does all the energy from that amazing second launch go? I have to really flop forward in the seat, loosen my limbs and sign a permission slip if I want the ride to throw me around a little. This should be a guarantee, not a choice. I still love it, but it’s in danger of slipping.
We rode River Quest from page 3 of the Hafema catalogue. It kicked ass. Damnit Legendia!
Here’s a shot of Chiapas I bet you’ve never seen before. It was nice to walk straight onto this for a change. The lap bars are still annoying, forcing your shoes into trenches of water, but the steepness of that drop cannot be denied.
I now have to publicly apologise. I’m sorry Colorado Adventure. I misjudged you. I sat in your front row 4 years ago and you punched me in the head with your silly train car. We didn’t get along.
I sat in the back row this time and I have been enlightened. What a ridiculous ride. I was standing up for 90% of it, being thrown all over the place and laughing through sheer glee. Look at this lot. They know where it’s at.
Couldn’t really top the midnight fireworks rides on Black Mamba but it’s still one of my fave inverts. I always forget the layout and it has more foot tingling helices than any other I can think of.
As you’re not allowed to shop in the evening at this park, made sure we got in early and finally became proud owners of a Maus au Chocolat after doing the ride. Still one of my fave shooting dark rides.
You can’t choose your Winjas, cos covid, so of course we got the worse one twice, but it’s still one of my fave spinners. Quick, think of something negative to say.
They’ve put VR on a coaster – the bastards! Oh, the headsets are gone, cos covid. I can’t bring myself to mock Crazy Bats when it’s just vanilla Temple of the Nighthawk. It’s cool.
Hollywood Tour was closed – the bastards!
We had some Asian late lunch next, with nowhere to sit and dancing away from wasps every 30 seconds, but it was decent.
Taron was broke, again, so we waited for that to come back to life and rode it once more. It wasn’t closing time yet, we could have stayed on it to the end, but “let’s go get a +2 instead.” That’s right, you heard me.
Öcher Bend Funfair
It didn’t quite have the lively spirit one would hope to get out of a German fair, not being dark yet and, you know, restrictions. We completed our final track and trace paper and then went to find an operator.
#1 Alpen Coaster
For this thing that rides like a bigger Zyklon Galaxi.
#2 Crazy Jungle
And then finishing the trip in style of course – a wacky worm that’s a lion.
Turned out there were three countries to cross on the way home without stopping this time. We succeeded without incident and then came face to face with the UK border people. Our forms had been filled out online the night before and they didn’t seem to need to acknowledge this, instead just asking where we had been. We gave them a quick education on the Polish coaster scene, what they’re missing and why the back is better than the front – this was sufficient information to get us home.
Summary
Mingled countries – 4 Total countries – 7 New creds – 56 Total coasters – 71 New parks – 19 Total parks –23 New wacky worms – 6 Total wacky worms – 7 Best coaster – Zadra Best park – I can’t really say no to Energylandia Distance travelled ~ 3800 Miles-ish (new record) Spites – 1/57 (1.75%), good old Europe.
I definitely clicked on every single blob in Germany on coast2coaster at least once while putting this trip together (the desperation is beginning to show) and in doing so made a very exciting discovery. The legendary Höllenblitz had set up shop in a safari park for the summer season. It was due to depart for Oktoberfest around August time but since that got cancelled, we contacted the park and they confirmed that it would be sticking around until the end of the year.
Day 11 – Serengeti Park
To get to the rides area of course I had to participate in my first safari. Not gonna lie, I wasn’t enthralled with the experience.
Essentially a 2 hour traffic jam with a couple of animals in the road, the negatives far outweigh the positives. They claim they’re carbon neutral here but it seems a little hard to believe with the sheer number of cars just sitting around, engines chugging for hours on end.
There were explicit instructions not to touch the animals because they simply don’t know whether covid can be transmitted. Everyone, literally everyone had their arms out the window poking things.
Dead lion and a couple of cow heads.
And the obvious highlight – this guy strutting through. Now, where are the rides?
#1 Safari-Blitz-Kids
This SBF visa only had ‘2 loops’ unlike the rest on this trip. What a disappointment.
#2 Safari Blitz
But here it is at last. No more waiting for it to never come to Winter Wonderland. We’ve come to you.
I love the theming effort – geysers going off, mine trains crashing through the wall, the obligatory German man on a toilet. Inside there’s animatronics drinking beer before you get tyre launched round a corner in the dark to initiate a full spin – yes, omg…
Into the main drop which, if you’re in the back row, is absolutely terrifying. You come hurtling down it at full speed, rotating wildly and limbs flailing in one of the most out of control moments in recent memory. The remainder of the indoor section involves disco lights and even flamethrowers on the second lift. What’s not to love?
I tried to get excited about construction but the fact that it was this close to being finished just means all I could think of was spite.
After an extended period of getting lost in their confusing one way systems around the park, we eventually made it out of the place and hit the road to our next stop. Things had taken rather longer than we anticipated and once again time was going to be tight. Maybe. The next park loosely described their opening hours as always open until at least 17:00. Being a hot summer’s day on the last weekend of August we were hoping this meant they would be a little busy and they’d last a little longer. We were wrong.
Fort Fun Abenteuerland
On arrival we headed straight for the Devil’s Mine. The queue goes on forever through a combination of theming, total darkness, a million stairs, narrow passages and scary bouncing bridges (within a spinning tunnel that was thankfully broken – I think a death would have occurred). It’s quite the marathon.
#3 Devil’s Mine
All that for a Vekoma Junior? Yes, well, it’s a decent one. Custom layout and plenty of character. Weirdly rough too.
It has this unprecedented airtime hill in it, along with a dark ride section in which a man sprays you with water from his internal organs. At least I hope it was water.
This park is on a huge hill and (un)luckily everything we needed to rush to was now down that hill, rather than up it.
#4 SpeedSnake FREE
This was next. A Vekoma Whirlwind with the same retrofitted trains as the Boomerang at Wiener Prater.
They required a little more defensive riding than I remembered, perhaps because more laterals are involved in this layout, as it’s essentially just a block of metal digging into your stomach. I shall call this one Loopen with a corkscrew instead of a loopen. Genius.
Then things went wrong. The park was really quiet and everything had been walk on so far. As we reached the Zierer Tivoli at the bottom of the hill it was performing its last lap of the day in front of us. Not because we were late, but because it had an unfortunate rule about needing a minimum of 12 riders. Fair play to the operator, he attempted to rally the troops in order to open it back up for us again – both from the handful of guests still lurking around and even a couple of staff members at retail stalls. It just wasn’t to be though, we couldn’t hit that golden number at this dead end of the park, right at the bottom of this stupid hill.
Which we now had to walk back up to find the last cred of the day. It was a struggle, but it was overcome with a grim determination to not be defeated again.
#5 Trapper Slider
Their alpine coaster was a surprise hit. You can’t see anything at all from the park but the lift went on for an eternity. The subsequent ride felt as long as Hasenhorn and twice as wild because the surroundings were completely overgrown and there was moss on the track. It felt downright dangerous actually, but that’s a good thing. It’s all coming full circle.
The ferris wheel was still open once we arrived back at the top of the park and from here you can see why we had been spited, why it was so quiet here.
It’s in the middle of nowhere, well over an hour from the nearest autobahn, two from a major city, through country roads, up and down mountains. Not what I had expected of the place for some reason.
But we enjoyed our visit anyway. What’s a Tivoli in the grand scheme of things? *cries*
The plan for today was to visit 5 different parks for various +1s, which I’m fairly certain would have been a personal best. The inspiration came about when researching a certain food based chain and discovering they had several properties in the vicinity, each with their own cred. Wouldn’t it be cool to hit them all in a day? Well, I think so.
Day 10 – Karls Erlebnis-Dorf Elstal
Not the smoothest of starts for time management as what we had billed as an 8am ride opening was actually 10am, but here we are. The Karls crawl begins.
The first thing that should hit you when entering any of these places is the insanely sweet and addictive smell of strawberries that permeates absolutely everything in the building. I think it was worth coming for this alone.
#1 K2
But equally importantly the outdoor area is home to the legendary Potato Coaster. After a potent smell of potato (not quite as nice I have to say), the indoor queue area is intensely themed. They’ve really gone at this attraction with a loving detail. Once on board/inside the tub trains, there’s a dark ride section full of further impressive effects. The ride system itself is rather violent in the way it engages with anything – chain lifts, block brakes, it’s all quite amusing.
It’s surprisingly big and forceful for such a simple design and the rather exposed seating position and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Sacks of character.
Spurred on by our enjoyment of the first place, it was time to hit the road for the longest journey of the day. On a good run it should have been about 3 hours but it ended up well over 4 due to several car accidents and heavy congestion in this rather remote corner of Germany. Time was just being sucked out of the day and we’d barely begun our mission. It’s like they wanted us to fail.
Karls Erlebnis-Dorf Koserow
Through the adversity we arrived at park number 2. There’s nothing quite as exciting as the potato from here on in, but everyone loves a good Wacky Worm.
And these are potentially the most impressive worms in the world. They have huge animatronics, grand entrances, themed queuelines, exit shops and merchandise to commemorate the fact that you rode the most common ride on the planet, in what may well be its best form.
#2 Erdbeer Raupenbahn
Most importantly they have strawberries instead of apples.
It felt weird to have another 3 parks to go with late afternoon fast approaching. A bit of quick maths meant we had to make a slight change to the order of events, driving slightly further still to allow for a difference in opening hours.
Rügen Park?
Even deeper into the middle of nowhere was the only park that isn’t a part of the official Karls crawl. Nor do they deserve to be. Rügen Park sucks. We arrived on their doorstep with just over an hour left of their operating day to find the entrance gate padlocked shut. Guests were inside going about their business, but no staff members in sight. Assuming some form of unannounced last entry policy we attempted to call them up and explain that time wouldn’t be an issue, we’re literally outside and all we wanted was to pay and pop in for the cred. Sadly the staff on the other end of the phone rudely laughed at the request and hung up. Giving them the benefit of the doubt for this, we called back once more and in response they decided to stop answering the phone altogether, allowing it to ring indefinitely. Poxy place anyway. No one wants your Zamperla 80STD.
Karls Erlebnis-Dorf Zirkow
No time to stew on that, it was straight back on the road to a proper park.
#3 Erdbeer Raupenbahn
Home to strawberry worm number 2. Just 1 more to go.
The struggle at Rügen may have been a blessing in disguise as things were really down to the wire now. If there was any further faff involved it would have been game over.
Karls Erlebnis-Dorf Rövershagen
We arrived at the final destination I’d say 18 minutes shy of closing time.
#4 Kaffeekannen-Express
While running around like nutters and getting lost looking for the TWO creds here (oh yes, it’s a big’un), they decided to start handing out Covid forms on approach to the entrance of the indoor coaster to impede our efforts further. Damn this track and trace business.
This coaster is rare for an SBF build. Only two in the world apparently, the other in Mexico. I was far too distracted by the clock to take it in but it’s indoor, up high, looks cool, there’s a million coffee cups on the wall and it performed one lap too many.
#5 Erdbeer Raupenbahn
We arrived at the final worm shop just as the till lady was packing everything away. As soon as money had been exchanged, we had entered the queue and the doors were shut behind us. This was the last train of the day. We’d made it. Visited 4 Karls parks in a day and rode every coaster they currently own. I see this as an absolute win.
In celebration of this momentous achievement we bought an armful of strawberry related goods from the shop on the way out and I’m now the proud owner of a soft toy mascot, for a Wacky Worm.
As if the day wasn’t satisfying enough we managed to redeem Mack’s restaurant concept with a late night visit to the Hamburg branch. Several years ago we went to the one at Europa – it was stupidly cramped, had a dumb payment system, the food selection was abysmal and it was by far the worst thing about the whole visit.
This particular location fixed everything. Eating Käsespätzle from a pot on wheels and playing a game of name that coaster up on the wall is my idea of a quality dining experience. The staff were super friendly too and asked us to write and send a free Rollercoaster Restaurant postcard (or two).
To my future self, Wish you were here look up GASM @ SFGAdv to see if you were right about the wall and don’t forget to slag off Rügen Park.
I hit the highest speed I’ve ever done in a car on the way to this park on my previous visit – a sweet 222kph (138mph) in some poxy sporty Renault hire car thing that I didn’t like very much. I set out on this trip with the intention of besting that and it finally happened on almost the same stretch of road – a scary 236kph (146mph), most satisfyingly, in my own vehicle. Autobahns are the best. Amusingly the packaging for the GB magnet we slapped on the boot claimed it was only rated up to 130, but it held on like a true survivor. I’m happy with the result, it’s a decent step up but it’s also nice to say that I’ve still been faster on a rollercoaster and I don’t really want to beat that again now unless it’s in a very significant manner (waiting on my company M5).
You know I said I wasn’t overly keen on returning to Tripsdrill? Well I least I haven’t been cursing their very name for many years now. I have for Plohn. The park put me in such a mood last time with their 19th century entrance facilities and shambolic operations but they had to go and get a Mack Big Dipper didn’t they.
Day 5 – Freizeitpark Plohn
#1 Dynamite
And that’s where we shall begin. Their new coaster has been built on the site of former coaster Silver Mine, even sharing the same entrance as before and credit to them, there’s lots of little relics of the old ride kicking around to build a bit of history – pieces of track, signs and props. I appreciate that stuff, even though it used to be a totally unremarkable attraction.
Where the old meets new in the queue, there’s this guy animatedly waffling on about Dynamite and not far beyond that is the station, where a staff member was rocking a Mack rides t-shirt. Good man. I leapt straight into my comfy winged bucket seat – I’ve been eager for the world to have more of these ever since Lost Gravity existed.
Being a dive drop, the start isn’t quite as vicious as it’s forebearer but it has a certain snap to it and you’re immediately thrust into a surprise, 2ft high, speed hill in a shed, which is brilliant. It whipped the face covering off my left ear every single lap without fail.
The train fires out of that into a weird top hat thing – again, I would have liked it a bit more violent. This is followed by an intense turn back through the shed before violence is restored with a tiny, shouty twisted airtime hill.
Loop de loop and Zero-G and aww, it’s over. I loved Dynamite far more than I had expected to, but it is just as short as I had anticipated and that is inevitably a bit of a downer. Just means you have to ride it more I guess. Fantastic investment for the park.
#2 Drachenwirbel
But that’s not all that’s new, oh no. SBF ‘3 loop’ spinner with a couple of dragon statues? Yes please. Also the longest queue of the day. Ouch.
Raupe
One of us needed the cred, so this became my second ever re-ride on a Wacky Worm (and proud) following the one in Great Yarmouth. This was greatly enhanced by a radio in the station that was playing German country music with a gravelly voiced man who was singing his heart out and had clearly experienced a lot of pain in his life. The parallel was comedy gold.
Miniwah
My guilty pleasure from the previous visit was the all indoor powered mine train which is amazingly themed and does the first lap in slow motion to let you soak it all in before cranking it up a few notches for two more. No one screamed this time either, so it was even better. It’s one of the newest installations of these and it seems the world doesn’t really want to build them any more, which is a shame considering the potential this particular example demonstrates.
El Toro
The other star attraction which now compliments Dynamite nicely is of course the woodie, the wrong El Toro. It was just as good as I remembered it being. An aggressive, fast paced ride packed full of little airtime pops that bounce you out of your seat every few seconds – something GCI seems to only be able to deliver on 50% of their builds, for reasons that still evade me. This is why we can’t have nice things.
I’m going to build on the tradition of posting a picture of a goat every time I visit this park which, you know, hopefully never again.
Obviously I liked the place more this time. They’ve entered the 21st century with online ticketing and they’ve doubled their count of kick-ass coasters. The operations were less offensive, though still questionable. It’s a very… easy going/unprofessional atmosphere when they’re checking their Whatsapp in the middle of operating a major ride or simply wandering off to have a chat, leaving nobody paying attention or remotely near an E-stop. The sort of attitude you wish everywhere could have, until it goes wrong of course.
Luckily nothing had gone wrong for us so far. I was now teetering on 4-figure cred territory and it was time to drive to Poland.
I don’t want to be one of those guys who blames the sat nav for everything, but stories have to be told. We had read something on UK government advice about how terribly dangerous the roads in Poland are – they’re made of old bones and everyone who gets in a car dies, the usual propaganda. For the first couple of hours on motorway it was smooth as anything, there were regular billboards advertising Zadra to scream at and I was enjoying the second fastest country in Europe. Upon leaving the motorway we apparently had another 30 minutes to go. This seemed a little off as, in my head, I had booked a hotel that was ‘just off’ the main road. Perhaps I didn’t look hard enough and there’s no exit nearby or maybe booking.com is being an arse with the map again. Oh well. As we delved deeper into smaller and smaller villages that started to look like they’d belong next to Plohn, it started to seem less and less likely. It’ll be just round this corner, it’ll be just over that hill. We’ve stayed in weirder places. You have arrived at your destination. We were getting funny looks from villagers and there ain’t no hotel here, so I kept driving. The road suddenly became exactly as described by the government and as we opened our mouths to make a joke about this, it immediately got 10 times worse. It came out of nowhere and I hit it far too fast. I was winded with laughter as a result. This country road is made of cobblestones and if I do any more than 20Mph over this we’re going to explode. You know those Top Gear challenges where they’re driving hundreds of miles on rough tracks, shouting in pain and bits of the car falling off every other mile. That. Google had stepped in to get us out of this emergency and we were a long way from home (well, exactly 30 minutes back to where I thought we should have been). The quality of the road managed to break Google for the remainder of the trip as the satellites were never quite in alignment again. Fortunately we didn’t die. We saw no other cars apart from another Brit who also seemed lost – I think they took a wrong turn in front of us and might still be there now. We saw lots of old bicycles and got to witness the more colourful side of rural Polish life so, you know, culture. The hotel was like a beautiful stately home on the outside, modern and professional on the inside, once we actually found it, so that was a relief. My car was now making a resonant rattling sound that it had never done before, but we checked under the bonnet for fire and the noise was gone by the following morning.
