All the fun of the fééry on the previous day had meant I could land a milestone on #1800 Wild Buffalo. Not too shabby a pick, when your options are limited.
Never mind me though, let us take a moment to congratulate the park on opening their new for 2025 attraction in April. April. Imagine that.
It also recompletes the European woodie set, again. Have to stay on top of these things.
A pleasant queue with some horses and cowboys leads to a stripped back, but functional station. They were only running one train, but it was just about justifiable given the crowd levels.
Appreciate the terrain game going on, and the fact that it’s basically built on sand. There’s a proverb in there somewhere.
Wild Buffalo marks the second wooden coaster in France to commence with audio of a man shouting, in this case yee-haw (except the French spell that weird), rather than tiimmbeerr! The drop itself is a little stumpy, this one isn’t going for raw thrills, but it’s decent enough towards the back, where the audio is also timed better.
Corners happen, GCI do love themselves a good corner. Airtime is optional.
Overall it’s an interesting, varied and smart layout, that maintains momentum rather well until the end thanks to the use of the terrain. Nothing to write home about though, potentially your weakest ‘as new’ GCI yet. I could throw some shade at Wicker Man here, but even I have to admit that that’s better. So I’ll give a shout out to how awful Lightning Racer runs these days instead. Horrible. It’s a interesting one, in a country blessed with multiple 30ft Gravity Group woodies that kick your ass, this shows off the milder side of what wood can do, I guess. Worth a few laps.
Couldn’t come here and not take a spin on the legendary dancing monkey dark ride. Love a puppeted ride and this one’s pure class.
And that was it for Mer de Sable, have been before and already ridden the other coasters, they’re all cloney +1s. So the buffalo is great for the park, a solid standout unique attraction, a crowdpleaser, good to see they’re going places, better than a Eurofighter etc. etc.
I particularly enjoy the fact that Mer de Sable can contently co-exist just 10 minutes from
Parc Astérix
As a man who doesn’t revisit places, this parc is now in my top 10 most visited of all time. And that includes back home in the UK.
Seems they’re always getting something to draw me back, in this case #2 Cétautomatix, a spinner that took too long to open. What year is it again?
Potatomatix is the latest spinning coaster attempt from Gerstlauer and the parc have, in keeping up with their standards, made it look very nice indeed. The queue and surrounding area are very interactive with the ride, there’s plenty of action going on around you most of the time. Being the new attraction it had a bit of a wait, but it moved well and had some theming to look at, inside and out. They’re obviously trying hard, staff with Ipads were counting dispatch times and the fancy live update queue TV system the park started at Toutatis makes all the guest information nice and accurate. Just needs to be rolled out to the rest of the park at some point.
After a quick indoor scene, something chariot related, you head up the lift hill to the faffing about up high section.
Faff happens, this one didn’t manage to buck the trend of Gerstlauers simply not spinning very much, unfortunately.
There’s a bonus tiny booster wheel boost in this shed (rcdb even acknowledges it, wow), which would usually be a great opportunity to me complain about such things, but I just thought it was funny here.
Then you spin round the queue a bit, experiencing some decent forces in the lower sections. Then you’re done.
S’alright.
To be honest that wasn’t really a draw, beyond the cheeky +1. I was just very excited to ride Toutatis again after it slowly but steadily smashed it’s way into my top 10, what feels like forever ago.
It’s crazy that a full queue for their biggest and best coaster is still only about 30 minutes, as if they actively don’t want it to get disproportionately busy compared to the rest of the park, which I respect.
Can someone please explain what happened to the loose article policy at this parc though? They now pull some of the dumbest shenanigans I have ever witnessed.
Gone are the station cubbies, replaced by several staff members with several trolleys that half-heartedly, or maybe not, ask some people if they want to put their loose articles in said trolley, after they’ve already been batched into the air gates. The air gates are 3 trains deep however, so it’s very much luck of the draw as to whether you even get access to the trolley, plus there’s a huge question mark over whether you actually want to use it because it’s just parked, out in the open, in the middle of a mass of bodies in the station. A great way to get your stuff stolen.
The ride though, god damn Toutatis. Forgot how crazy even the first section is, with silly hangtime in the first sideways flop and then kicking your ass even into the swing launch. Pantheon walked so this could run, swing launch is just so damn good with the backwards lurches and surprise airtime. The trim brake adds to the experience, for once. The designer himself explained it to me once, so I’m a believer now. It’s not poor design, it’s an effect. He says. Then the rest of the layout kicks ass with an over-correcting stall, that tree still sticking out there to kill you and that airtime hill still there to kill you. Classic modern sideways hill, because everyone wants to be RMC but not any more, that doesn’t do anything. Mosasaurus Roll. Mini-Kondaa ending. A thigh-slappingly good time on the brake run. Love it.
Back to these trolleys though, seriously why? After leaving the train and the station, you get viciously blocked on the exit path by several more staff members with several more trolleys, while all the guests are faffing around with their stuff, in your face. And I guess, if you’re very lucky, your stuff might be there too.
There are so many better ways to do this, including one they already had. This ain’t it. Especially in stinky Europe.
tl;dr leave valuables with a non-rider or invest in some goony zipped pockets, it’s a bad system.
Anyway, time to chill for a bit. The Epidemais Croisieres boat ride is always good for chilling.
Rerode Trace du Hourra, the Mack Bobsled, because it’s been a lifetime. A harsh lifetime for the both of us, this has not aged well, with an amusing level of brain rumble throughout the entire course. Maybe the baffes-meter was right all along.
Looks good though, can’t deny that. Also runs many, many trains, with multiple on the lift hill, it’s coaster capacity porn up there. And has since been greatly enhanced by backstage views of Toutatis.
Rerode Oziris, used to hate it, then was indifferent to it.
Still am, except this time the trolley lottery didn’t fall in our favour, so ended up sunglass on, not wanting to care, but caring about sunglasses.
Will these iconic towers survive the new land they’re building, or will they only live on through their likeness in an obscure Chinese park?
Went to ride Pégase Express, but it had somehow ended up with an insane queue, so bailed again.
Instead here’s the obligatory upskirt of Zeus.
Tonnerre 2 Zeus was running pretty poorly, thus the golden age of the retrack lasted about 3 years. As did the offering of the backwards facing seats on the train. The funniest part for me this time is that the ambient noise of the track and audible sounds of guest discomfort was actually louder than the deafening tunnel with themed thunder audio within the layout. I don’t know what to think any more, the violence of Gravity Group coasters seem to be both their blessing and eventual undoing and I’m scared to ever reride my all-time favourites at this point.
Rode Vol D’Icare because it’s the last in the world, didn’t you know? RIP the UK’s most beloved theme park, apparently, according to that one tabloid, even though no one’s ever heard of it and it was stupidly expensive. It’s fun, Zierer were on something for this technology back in the day.
In that time, Pégase Express had gone from 90+minutes to walk-on, somehow, so off we go. For some other strange reason the station staff here came at me at a million miles an hour, like a horror film, then full body-weighted my restraint. While attempting to relieve my sudden and immense discomfort, it launched, so that sucked.
The ride has picked up a bit of a rattle these days, dare I say the word, but still like how the layout just goes and goes out there, in an unually linear fashion. You get a nice long ride time out of this one. Or at least you would if you weren’t stapled by the restraint.
Medusa now spits on you as you leave the show scene in the shed, or at least I don’t remember her doing that before, so that’s something.
The entire queue must have evacuated to Toutatis at this point as we headed for our final laps. Guests were now doing their very best to break my earlier theorem by queueing well outside the entrance sign and around the corner.
Thus we only got to see it off one more time, but it was glorious. And take one final laugh at the new trolleys.
It’s 2025, so about time to go pick up some new for Spring/Summer rides, in September.
Timing and location of the first park of the day meant that we actually didn’t require a disgustingly early Chunnel for once, so that was refreshing and civilised. What park?
Day 1 – Fééryland
Have previously driven past this place, formerly known as Bal Parc, many, many times. Regularly saw the sign, or it pop up on coaster count as ‘nearest’, but it only contained a couple of dirty kiddie coasters, for too much money and some potential weird looks.
Not that the latter has ever been a consideration.
As of 2024 they rebranded, and in 2025 they’re up to a +4. We needed something to do, so took the plunge.
Arrived at opening with a soft spring rain in the air, bought some tickets, gates were opened, time for business.
Tried to start strong on the Dragon but, establishing a theme for the morning, it was having drive tyre troubles in the wet conditions.
Newest cred is the SBF spinner, #1 Magic Twist, which was also slipping on it’s tyres rather nicely, but cycling nonetheless. The operator gave a concerned look to a man that shall from henceforth be known as Mr. Fééry, who gave a nod of approval to let us on.
On we went, round it went, I’d like to say that SBF are actually improving over time, haven’t noticed the horrible transition on the final corner into the station on these in a good while. Hope I’m right.
To further test that theory, went over to the other SBF coaster, #2 Grand Prix. The operator gave a concerned look to Mr. Fééry, who was continuing to power around the park in front of us with an immense sense of authority. He gave a nod of approval to let us on.
On we went, round it went, once again the horrible corner transition at the base of this model was not present on this particular installation, even though it was travelling at a million miles per hour in the wet. It was brutally fast and forceful for what it is, but not rough.
After three laps it then overshot the station because of the speed, then couldn’t park itself because wet tyres. Oops.
Mr. Fééry powered into the ride area, almost dying himself on the slippery wet track to get to us, before an engineer also joined him. Tried once more to park it, no good, then voluntarily valleyed us, reset the ride and manually pushed us onto the lift tyres.
It took the smell of burning rubber to make it happen, but we commenced another amazing three lap cycle and then barely, barely managed to park it again at the end. Legendary.
Old mate wacky worm #3 Pomme doesn’t care about the rain, ran like a dream, parked like a dream. I like his stumpier than usual antenna, which are harder for children to brutalise.
Final mission was to get on #4 Balade du Dragon. The operator was continuously trying to make it happen, in manual mode, backing it out of the station for maximum run up and flooring the slippy tyres in order to make it clear the hump. Legendary.
Eventually it made it, to much celebration, and then 30 children descended on the ride in front of us. This led to a nervous moment, would it make it while now full of riders, or would we be spited? It made it, squeaked by and then only got stronger from then on as everyone’s confidence was built.
By the time it was our turn, we couldn’t fail. Go dragon go. Park complete. Great park for our specific needs, got the job done effectively. Next.
Jardin d’Acclimatation
Round of applause for this park too, who managed to open their new for 2025 attraction in March. March. Imagine that.
Parked up on a street next to the back entrance of the park, to beat the reasonably substantial looking queues at the main entrance and for maximum geographical efficiency in reaching the two new coasters.
First up is the temporary #5 Fils du Dragon, the placeholder between the sad demise of their old Dragon Chinois and the construction of their new Dragon-themed coaster.
This one is the rare wacky worm with diagonal lift hill layout, scary clearances and a scarier face. It’s leaving at the end of this season so perfect time to get it.
The real deal is the new #6 Défi du Dragon, another fine looking creation from Gerstlauer.
Love the theming here, for some reason my immediate first thought was that it makes Crapterra look like crap. Wonder why.
There’s some beautiful details in the station, from intricate carvings to the hosing tap for ‘essential cleaning’ having a dragon on it.
Knew this model had shenanigans, but didn’t know what they were. Took me watching it once and then riding it once, to figure out what happens.
Launches out of the station into a standard first half of the layout which is some swoopy fun.
Then you stop on a turntable, and the train can randomly turn 90° in either direction.
From there it does a random swing launch – either forwards, backwards, forwards or backwards, forwards backwards, resulting in four total possible combinations.
The second half is just a closed circuit with a wiggly bit at the highest point of the ride, over the station, then you hit the turntable again and turn back into the station.
I think.
Great ride anyway, bit faffy on one train but it didn’t matter in the slightest. Would be fun to see it run two. Gerstlauer have done it again, and what a year they’ve had. Paultons, 2026.
Headed into the rest of the park to see what was up. Sadly the violent Soquet was out of action, though probably wouldn’t have paid for it again and risk ruining it’s reputation. We know how these things can go.
Speed Rockets should always be good fun though, walked straight onto it and was treated to more Gerstlauer goodness that isn’t a Eurofighter.
Love the unconventional layout on this thing, very different from all the standard and cloney ones, it does plenty of funky stuff.
Had a bit more time to kill on the car parking, so took a mooch around some Korean festival that was going on. Arm wrestling was happening on a stage. Not sure what the connection was.
Saw whatever this is.
Whatever this is.
And some donkeys with no hats.
Great park, given we didn’t let them rip us off this time. Love the way they’ve tidied up the new area, the quality of their recent investments and the tranquil vibe of the place. Wish all capital cities had a green space this pleasant and full of creds.
The other new draw in mainland Europe was of course Mahuka. Feels like it fell a distant third to the Mackness going on this year and isn’t getting enough attention, but that’s part of the appeal of this park. Understated, but brilliant.
#1 Mahuka
Not naming names, but lessons available here on how to make a new ride look good, and complete, even though it had opened a few days prior and there’s still mud under it.
Nice details in the queue.
There was a radio here that would occasionally fire up and play ’90s hits. Character. A sense of fun.
These bag ‘chutes’ were pretty genius.
And those trains look tasty.
So, how was the ride? Loved it.
The trains are tasty. It’s exactly what the single rail needs. Openness, freedom, convenience.
Being multi-launch it’s got a satisfying length to it. A crescendo of sequence.
Full of some weird and wacky stuff, look at that ribbon of a track.
Airtime in places is really good. Bit of a Mosasaurus inspired roll at the end to finish.
All in all it just looks and rides great. I prefer it to the RMCs, which by default puts it in the top 5%. It doesn’t have the extremes of a Railblazer, but I feel like you have to be very forgiving about everything else going on with those rides and solely focus on those extremes. Let us not speak about Jersey Devil.
This hits the spot just right. Comfortable, varied and long while still being a little wild and unpredictable as it can perform manouevres you wouldn’t otherwise expect. It does a bit of everything and it flows so well. From the moment you step into the area really, they run a tight ship considering the capacity. The perfect addition for a park this size, they just keep on nailing it here.
Mystic
This was the last thing they nailed and it holds up. I love Mystic, it’s got such an aura about it. Still a top 3 Gerstlauer.
The guy with the fish laughs at you as you dispatch and it’s all downhil from there. Great sense of intimidation and guest reaction – this is still the bad boy of the park.
And it rides real good, with some killer ejector and even more killer hangtime. Stuff like this just shouldn’t be possibile but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Timber
Timber is great for what it does. A classic showcase of Gravity getting way more than should be possible out of something so small scale.
That said, it does manage to ‘feel’ the shortest of those, but at least it still hits hard and makes it count.
Not sure what they’ve done at the end. Added a trim to the final hill which kills its impact but also provides a hilariously awkward moment of braking which adds to the character and almost balances out the loss.
And that’s the park. They’ve tidied it up really nicely, it’s very pleasant just walking around. There’s little else going on, a few +1s, no dark rides (sadly) and their 4D cinema seems to be out of action this season (not so sad). It doesn’t matter though. The quality of the top 3 coasters, including their consistency and variety, makes this one of the standout locations in Europe. They’re enough to keep me happy just bouncing between for a half day, a full day, it doesn’t really matter. You can play it cool at Walibi France. Let’s hope it doesn’t turn into Walibi Holland.
A revisit to Disney has been on the cards forever by now, as I had still never completed the creds. It’s been 8 years since I had last visited, which is ridiculous given what’s been done in the interim. Given the distinct lack of other major things to do since our last minute change of plans, this seemed like a suitable opportunity. It also marked the last in the worldwide set for the wife, which was another bonus.
It probably seems like everyone’s worst nightmare to book a visit to Disneyland a mere two days in advance, on a public holiday weekend. As we’ve learnt though, it’s only as hard as you make it. One of the ‘perks’ of the Paris property is that the way their hotels are priced vs. park tickets, we pretty much got a free nights stay out of it, along with the extra park hours that come with being a guest. I do wish a lot of other places around the world used this strategy, it’s always surprising to me how many ‘on-site hotels’ don’t even get you into their respective parks.
They’ve spruced up the Santa Fe accomodation since we last saw it, and it was perfectly serviceable as the lowest of the low options. Somewhere clean to lay your head for 7 hours, with a few Cars on the walls, all you really need. The staff were friendly and early-morning check-in was smooth and efficient, picking up our magic passes, being able to park right outside the room, even dump the luggage inside and take the shuttle bus to the park, all before the 08:30 magic hour for hotel guests began.
Days 3 & 4 – Disneyland Paris
And here it is. It’s been a while.
This is the sort of Disney crowding I can get behind.
First on the to-do list was Space Mountain, or #1 Star Wars Hyperspace Mountain: Rebel Mission as it is now more catchily known. This cred has eluded me since January 2007, not that I would have been brave enough to try it back then. It was closed to, eventually make it worse(?), last time and when it reopened, other actually decent things closed and it was just never that much of a priority. Why?
Because it’s just some old Vekoma looper in fancy dress (and not the only one of those on resort). And the dress isn’t even that fancy any more. It seemed a shame that it ploughs into the launched lift at some pace, only to stop on it instead of keeping that exciting momentum going. Once out of the tube, the new Star Wars overlay is… poor. The new vests restraints were appreciated. It was a thing, that happened in the dark. Went upside down a couple times, including the world’s only ‘tongue’ inversion (tick) that I couldn’t tell you what it is, turned left a lot.
I believe it used to be cool, with the old theme and music, but sadly can’t confirm. +1.
With new experiences already out of the way for this park, I’ve hit that revisit wall again. It’s going to get a bit rambly.
Buzz Lightyear. They have one of those. In fact is this the only ride that’s in every single resort in the world? S’alright.
Star Tours always intrigues me because of the seemingly endless possibilities of sequences. We gave It a couple of goes and had both a pod race on Tatooine and the legendary flight across salty old Crait that I have, for some reason, been obsessing about for many years now. Oh, and that water planet from that film I don’t like. It really has it all. Quite violent in the corner seats too, I hit my head on the rear panel at one point, which made a great noise.
Leaving Discovery Land behind it was time to rekindle with some old favourites. This was, traditionally, my favourite Big Thunder Mountain. It had some work done in the interim, but I’m pleased to report that it remains the best.
It tracks the most vigorously and therefore is the most runaway. The tunnels under the lake are insane and genius. The wildest ride in the wilderness you could say.
I think you can tell by the photos that this was a two-day visit. They’ve done a little something to Phantom Manor too. Notably to me, the pre-show is less obvious about its graphic nature and they changed the mirror scene at the end to feature a creepy ‘will you marry me [creepy laugh]’ from Emily Alton. Please exit the vehicle.
I’ve always thought this one finishes a little strangely, but is otherwise rather incredible. As with its neighbour, it haunts the most vigorously and is therefore the best haunted mansion.
It’s been so long that I’ve forgotten how different this version of Pirates of the Caribbean is, in terms of layout at least. The lift hill sequence is far more intimidating and epic looking and, in general, I’m in love with this ride too, even if Jack Sparrow now has to feature everywhere.
That’s the top 3 on park out of the way, all downhill from here. I didn’t take any other pictures besides the legendary dragon under the best castle, so that sums that up.
Casey Jr. is sweet, Indiana Jones was skipped. Peter Pan is disproportionately short for the queues it gets, therefore Pinocchio and Snow White are better. Small World had just come out of refurb and was looking pretty fresh. Philharmagic is fab. I think that’s about it. Next.
Walt Disney Studios Park
There was one new thing for me over at the other park, famed for once having a lack of things to do. I was there then, it was bad.
Marvel stuff. As one of the more forgiving fans of the MCU these days it seems, this area was a bit something and nothing to me. I guess it’s hard for a theme park, how can you sum up 50 films with a centralised, recognisable location, though it would have been cool to go for something a bit more niche than… this.
It’s a testament to the strength of something like Star Wars land I suppose. Something about that galaxy far, far away just feels so unique and lived in. This looks generic and uninteresting, with very little visual cue to tell you what it actually is.
I deplored Avengers Assemble: Flight Force. I don’t like Rock’n’Rollercoaster at the best of times, but this rode like absolute trash. Left turn, the ride, again, but far worse. I don’t know what was going on inside, just that it wasn’t impressive. The presence of Iron Man bugged me and then something about aliens, and rocks, and Captain Marvel being unnecessarily sassy. Nah.
Oh look, Spider-Man. He has a ride too, you know.
This thing is actually new, and not a rehash. The queue was pretty lame for new Disney. Pre-show room was great, loved how much was going on in there, loads of little details. Feels like most of the heart of the attraction went into this.
I can’t think of one redeeming feature about the ride itself. It was bad. Kinda expected better from nu-Ninjago tech but from my experience it created exactly the same issue. I can’t tell what the hell I’m doing. Flailing arms around didn’t seem to produce any precision or meaning. The action on screen is a blurry mess of nonsense that you can’t follow, so it wouldn’t matter if you were accurate anyway. If you’re going for the chaotic approach, I think it’s visually much better suited to something more fantasy and cartoony, which this wasn’t. Dingy warehouses and metal spiders.
They big up that you can do clever, advanced motions, but none of us could make that work, so what’s the point? I didn’t realise it would be just screen, flail, screen, flail, screen, flail end and even that was tiring, while also being disproportionately short of a ride experience for the popularity, again. And it’s not like you’d want to wait that long again to try and get better at it. Nah.
We left the area and never looked back.
From the worst Disney dark ride, to the best. God damn scary door. I was getting slightly worked up there while writing and now I’ve got the chills. I already absolutely adored Tower of Terror. They’ve made it even better.
Atmosphere of the queue and lobby is legendary as always and the French seem to have the best staff for this type of experience. One thing I noticed is that getting the pre-show in French is suboptimal, not having THE narrator voice just doesn’t quite hit as right. We ended up with English just the once though, somehow. Perfect.
it took the very first moment of the very first go to realise something was different. It dropped violently downwards immediately, which killed me. Didn’t even know that was possible. Since that, we looked it up to learn that there are three possible sequences currently. The Malevolent Machine, The Shaft Creatures and The 5th Dimension. They all feature Emily Alton again and just make it that little more creepy and special than it was before. New projections of her floating about in hallways, increased potency of jump scares in both visual and audio effects, each one ending with her skipping off while absent-mindedly humming the twilight zone tune. Little things, big difference.
Oh, and the hardware itself is still second to none. That wonderful drop tower butterfly sensation that I simply don’t get on coasters any more, hits again and again. It’s so playful, yet so vicious. The new sequences seem to toy around with it even more, teasing at the doors not opening sometimes, bouncing around unexpectedly. Extra, bonus motions like shaking, wobbling or juddering as if you’re being attacked. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. This is why I do Disney parks.
Crush’s Coaster isn’t, but we sucked up the queue once as a reminder. Such poor capacity for such a major park, why. Ride itself was slightly better than I remember. Didn’t really recall it having actual scenes, and then it expressed a modicum of vigour in the actual layout, where some of these Maurers can otherwise be surprisingly lacking. Such a varied coaster type.
I remember not being impressed with the Ratatouille ride at all, and that was with very little experience. Considering it’s amongst my absolute favourite Pixar films, I wondered why. Fact is, it’s just not conducive to a ride experience. I enjoy these movies for their emotional beats, not the skidding around a kitchen floor. It’s overly screen heavy, from someone who is usually more forgiving about those things. It doesn’t use the trackless tech to any real effect, from someone who is very unforgiving about that. It doesn’t make sense as a story – you start in the kitchen with the short, angry guy and end up in Remy’s own kitchen. Curly hair and his love interest are working in both of them, simultaneously. Nothing happens in between these two locations to change things narratively. Why?
Talking of why, Cars. They’ve made the tram tour about it. It’s fine on the surface, some onboard video screens about driving route 66 and seeing the sights, and then seeing some sights. What doesn’t really work is the catastrophe scene with the fire and the water and the oil tanker falling off a cliff. Without context from a film I’ve never seen, the oil tanker character is enjoying what is essentially a sequence of him dying. And then you laugh and wave and say your goodbyes.
Damn, I wanted to end on a positive note, but having run out of attractions, all we have left is the night time spectacular. They started out with a lite version, using drones and stuff. It was ok.
Then the 30th anniversary, soon to end, whatever it was, simply didn’t pack the punch of the 2015 equivalent. Partially personal preference, the film representation and song choice was just a bit mediocre, with a ridiculous amount of overlap with Philharmagic. The overarching theme was Peter Pan’s shadow for some reason and there’s only so many times you want to hear Be Our Guest, Lion King and the Genie in your day. Hunchback was a curveball, but hey, France I guess. No newer stuff beyond the highlight that was Tangled and, just like Tokyo I imagined most guests left thinking ‘where was Encanto’. I don’t believe there was any appluase, which usually says it all. It also really missed having a dragon catch on fire.
Tower of Terror though. God damn.
Thus ends our long weekend in France. +9 for the count, including a new top ten in Toutatis and a Chance Toboggan. Didn’t expect either of those things. I’ll take it.
Under the last minute change of plans, the following day was purely dedicated to the pursuit of nearby creds. A number of these parks were casualties of some ferry delays last year, it’s always good to get that closure.
Day 2 – Parc d’Olhain
As such, d’Olhain was no longer gone. We arrived in the vague vicinity first; it’s a very outdoorsy place with other stuff going on, in the region of France’s weird pyramid things. It took a long walk through a forest to reach the alpine coaster on the far side.
There’s nothing remarkable about #1 Luge 4 saisons other than perhaps the deep levels of organic growth attached to the rails and the accompanying brush attachments, but a solid start to any day in the higher pursuit.
POV: you’ve just got the cred.
In the nearby city of Lille, things were cooking up a treat. Nestled within the boundaries of a moat, in the inner greenery, between zoo and castle, lies one of the many Requins in the region.
Cita-Parc
#2 Requin Express’ was on the usual French lunch break upon arrival but quickly opened up again to customers.
This donkey has no hat, but otherwise a solid performance from Cita-Parc.
Construction, get excited.
Looming over in the distance from here was a certain ride type that has been eluding me for a while now. The funfair was in town, and look what delights they had brought with them.
Wisconsin, 2021. The spite of Monster at Adventureland meant we never took in a planned visit to Little Amerricka in order to pick up one of the only known permanently operating Chance Toboggans.
Southampton, 2022. One was in town and I took the drive down, only to sit in front of it and see the whole operation closed for weather. Evil looking things, aren’t they?
Lille Funfair
Here’s a better question – why do we ride coasters that cause us pain? From someone who had landed the Southampton one, #3 Toboggan had been bigged up to be one of the worst coaster experiences ever. And so it was with trepidation that we boarded, two abreast on the operators insistence – more momentum, less room for movement.
Concerning sounds and the smell of grease fill the claustrophobic vertical lift hill, as the clunky little car inches its way up the inside of the tower. The ladder here is a novel feature, I can’t quite bring myself to picture an evacuation on one of these.
The spiral is the killer, the builder of both speed and suspense. It goes on for an age and yet is over in a flash, while you best figure out a way to brace for what’s to come. The track levels out and then immediately hits the poorly profiled drop at such a pace that bodies fly, and then come back down with a sickening crunch at the base. The landing was the worst part, but I’ve had far worse. From there it car crashes its way back to the station while you’re likely still processing the earlier parts of the circuit. Tick.
It’s rides like these that often worry me more, after the fact. Preparing for the worst and coming out relatively unscathed is a danger that can lull one into a false sense of security. Perhaps next time I will be riding alone, the car will be less padded, it may still yet be a true horror show.
#4 1001 Pattes though, can’t go wrong with those. A bonus travelling +2 was a welcome addition to the trip.
Loos Parc
Down the road is a slightly more unusual setup. Loos Parc is located within an industrial estate/retail park, round the back of an Aldi (more parts of the world need creds like this) and contains another delightful one-two punch.
#5 Requin for a dream.
And the cold steel of #6 Train de la Mine.
Both are of Turkish origin, bringing me a couple of steps closer to that highly sought out Kılıç Lunapark set. It’s their Wacky Worm with spinning cars that intrigues me the most though.
Ch’ti Parc
With the afternoon whittling on, there was just one more establishment to go. To me pronounced ‘Chitty Park’, this one is within the grounds of a larger communal green space including baseball field and canoe club (more parts of the world need creds like this).
Only a single #7 Nessi is on offer, but what a Nessi this is. The track is in invitingly good condition and it rides like the beast it so accurately portrays.
A fitting close out to a successful day. Who needs Intamin anyway?
Oops. You may well know by now about the ridiculous levels of journeys to which I’ve stooped throughout Europe in the last few years. The plan here was to head into France, pick up a certain Intamin, then head into Spain and pick up another certain Intamin. Madrid and back in 3 days, the fresh (and unused) Reunidos passes we’d just picked up, the phrase ‘Intamin it to win it’, one of those silly looking maps, it was all going to write itself. Then Batman la Fuga: Attack on Arkham Asylum didn’t open in time of course, necessitating a late swerve. Not having much luck with this so far.
Day 1 forged on as previously planned though.
Day 1 – Parc Astérix
I think coming here last year for deux Zeus was the right call, it allowed the ride enough time in the spotlight for us. This time there was only a single thing on the agenda yet again, and it most certainly took all of our attention.
And here he is, #1 Toutatis, protector of the tribe.
As a fan of pleasant surprises, I knew very little about this attraction going in. It’s been kicking around in our heads for many years that something big was going to Parc Astérix, I was there behind a camera when the ride designer explained the thinking behind the trim and we saw the spike in person last year of course. Other than that, who knows what’s going to happen here. The surprise was more than pleasant.
We begin with a little drop out of the station. I wanted this to be a Helix moment, but it wasn’t. Much more of a tease.
Within the trench, the first launch hits and immediately things get wacky. Overly banked turns, that awesome beyond sideways hangtime thing and what one would suspect are some RMC-inspired wonky hills. They all make for an endearing start.
Out of that the train audibly grates itself sideways around the, of course, under-banked piece of switch track with quite a welcome sideways lurch. An out of control entry into an out of control launch sequence. Bam.
I’ve been thinking these humpy launches are a bit gimmicky so far, but god damn have they finally nailed it on this swinger. It’s fun and zippy forwards, with a bit of float up into the failed attempt at cresting the top hat. The return run delivers some wild ejection not once, but twice. Across the hump and then hopping back out of the trench straight this time, launching further in between each. Particularly when seated further forward, this sequence is insane.
The reverse spike is alright, nothing ground breaking this time, but seemed to nearly always have a nice little interaction moment of people on the ground, in the queue for one of those stupid flat rides again, looking up and waving. Other examples of this track piece, around the world, lack this.
I’m oh so sold on the swing launch itself now as we pass it for the final time, it’s by far the best example I’ve experienced to date (hmm, which ones haven’t I experienced at the moment?). That little bit of a Taron trench feeling for extra visuals and sense of speed, combined with the mid launch out of seat moments fully justify what could otherwise be seen as faffy and suboptimal.
Talking of faffy and suboptimal, the trim. I love it. There’s some decent ejector up into the top hat and then a weird sustained moment of pause, of contemplation, just as promised. It maintains momentum of course, but if you let yourself flop a bit you’ll find yourself folding down towards the seat below in a rather satisfying manner. Good thing the cars aren’t articulating at that point. It’s at the perfect point in the layout to still do something interesting with it and not just be plain annoying. B&M.
All of this wonderful stuff has already happened, and yet the layout only starts proper now. It’s no slouch after that trim, the rest hits one after another at a very decent pace. The base of the big drop has a weird kink of a left turn that was popping air as the day went on. The stall feels like it has a slight over-correction which flips you upside-down, and then a little sideways after. This is great, because dare I say the element has otherwise become a little stale now that everyone’s doing it.
On the exit of this there’s a tree branch that they’ve just unceremoniously chunked off and it still sticks out like a lethal looking near miss. There’s airtime in another corner. There’s a stonkingly awesome ejector hill on the return leg, proper top-tier wild, it can’t be understated. A twisty one after that. All fab.
The sideways hill is potentially the most lacking moment of the whole thing. There’s too many of these in layouts now and they quite often don’t do anything. To this ones credit, it did seem to get better as the day went on, with a slight outwards pull towards the extremes of the train.
I haven’t yet mentioned the positives on this thing, you really start to notice it as you drop out of that and corner through the queue. Most sections between all the elements have a good force to them, giving you that greater contrast I always admire. That’s a plus for sure.
This final inversion is great, taken with speed and whip. It ain’t no mosasaurus but it’s different, with what felt like a bit of right to left tug and the horns of those blokes judging you.
Final overbank turn was also a weaker moment earlier in the day but grew to stick in some more positives before the hilarious and silly miniature hops into the brake run. It’s always good to end on a laugh.
Anyway, wow. This thing took me on a journey throughout the day. I loved it from the off, but only like I love a lot of other things at this point. It was clear from the first few moments alone that Toutatis is everything Pantheon isn’t. The first bit is better. The launch is better. The last bit is better. Once that was established, it became a case of how far could it climb throughout the day?
– – –
Oh, they have other rides here too, you know. But they didn’t really matter, that wasn’t what this visit was about.
Got a courtesy lap in on Pégase Express, becoming interested to learn that they’ve ripped out the bag holder system that they weren’t even using opening year. It’s such a solid family coaster, with a fantastic length to it and I love the forwards-backwards two train interaction moment.
Gave Zeus a flying visit, becoming interested to learn that it’s already a fair bit more violent than last year. Not to its detriment just yet for me, it was still a cracking ride, but if Gravity reckon Timberliners are less hard-wearing on the track then those old trains must be vicious.
Park operations still kick ass and it’s always been a very pleasant place to be, I’ve just only ever had a weird relationship with it for some reason.
– – –
Back to where it’s at though, at the end of each Toutatis lap it just felt that little bit more special. Some rides you find new things every time to appreciate, in particular I find this to be an Intamin trait. By the 3rd lap I was loving all of it. It was clear to me then that I preferred it to Velocicoaster, much more of an all killer no filler coaster.
By the 5th lap I was buzzing, thinking it’s probably just had Kondaa. The launch sequence alone just packs a punch of pacing that a -0.7G lift hill can’t.
By the 7th I was reeling. Is it better than Taiga? Then we closed the night with an 8th and I tore my rotator cuff. I think it is.
It feels like there’s going to be an ever present elephant in the room since my visit to the Point, and this marks the first time I’ve encountered it. The process of actively placing things above Steel Vengeance, because it is just too big of a legend to ignore, rather than just having casually slotted it in below other things. Putting this above Taiga did just that, and it was a huge leap, but having had my usual time to reflect on it now, I believe it’s merited.
Toutatis ticks all the boxes of my usual top ten material, just like those that came before. It’s an outstanding version of its type. It did things to me I haven’t experienced before in those backwards launches. It hurt me to hands up by the end of the day. Most importantly it was a welcome reminder to me that I’m not on some downhill slope of this hobby just yet, having wondered about becoming so jaded for not being blown away by such big names last year. Have faith, I can still feel that spark, there’s always a special set of circumstances and a special ride out there. It just needs to be my bag, and this one is just that.
In order to maintain a degree of significance on both days, we opted for a revisit to one of the nicest parks in France in lieu of a lot more cred running, with the added bonus of a healthy +2. Nigloland already had a cracking lineup for its size, along with a very pleasant atmosphere. This remains, mostly, but what’s new?
#1 Krampus Expedition, that’s what. This one strikes me as a weird concept, I get that the folklore fits into the Alpine theme of the area and nearby other attractions, but why a water coaster? To fill a gap in the lineup? Probably.
Whatever the reason, they’ve done a fantastic job with it. The lift looks surprisingly hefty and intimidating in the context of the park. The queueline has some great theming, including wrapping around a massive, spooky skeleton of Krampus himself. There’s also a collection of posters depicting other famous water rides around the world, which seems cheeky.
I’m glad they went for a custom layout of course, would have been too easy to order a Skatteøen and be done with it, but instead we get a more fast paced and fun pre-splash section that even includes an extra little floaty hill. I’m also kinda liking the new track style with the regular Mack track hemmed in by the older water coaster rails. Hopefully it’ll stop it riding like Poseidon and Journey to Atlantis in a few years.
Alpina Blitz, the original Alpine themed coaster here sits pretty just next door. Sadly it was only running one train so we didn’t get to spend much time with the Mack Megalite on this occasion. Comfortable, powerful, it’s an all-round good time coaster from start to finish. I still prefer it to the more poorly run Intamin equivalents but it hasn’t yet found that killer instinct like Piraten.
Cheat shot.
I’m still worried about what they’ve done to my poor Eurosat, but the essence lives on in Spatiale Expérience (and my car playlist). It was particularly amusing on this occasion, with the French getting really hyped up during the extended spiral lift hill and counting down to the first drop, before proceeding to sit in stark silence, perhaps boredom, for the entirety of the actual layout. I don’t quite know how they manage it with this track but it’s so jerky, yet smooth. The train pumps around all over the place in quite an intense manner though it’s all from strange shaping and not roughness as far as I can tell.
The other new coaster was #2 Noisette Express which somehow manages to be rougher, in a fun, kiddy kinda way.
I’m enjoying the current rise of these ART engineering projects though, they all have a great aesthetic and seem to end up being a cut above your average plonked family coaster. The profiling of that first drop amuses me for a start.
The squirrel character on the back of the train is great, he also has a little story throughout the queue. It’s a tad inconsistent as it declares he was born on the same day the ride opened, along with the contradictory fact that he’s been doing forest conservation engineering projects for years before this. It’s like Duplo Dino all over again with these details.
Hoping this is an homage to the Wacky Worm that is no more at this park, having been replaced by a circus tent opposite the new ride.
Cheat shot. Le Donjon de l’Extrême kicked more ass than before, which is saying something. A combination of not being stapled and being able to see properly led to a world class drop tower experience. Love it.
I don’t remember Maison Hanté hauling so much either. The open-benched seating is still so much fun in the ghost train environment and it was spinning so hard through the downhill slalom graveyard section at the end that I could barely walk straight upon exiting. Still irks me that the spooky building always seems to be framed poorly against the sunlight, though it’s probably just a summer month problem.
Highly satisfied with another half day visit we snacked on some great value crêpes on park, continuing to prove that this place has lots of great food, then headed out on a bit of a mission.
Plopsaland de Panne
Not a cred mission though, a labour of love you might say. I’ve still got that season pass and I’ll find any excuse to use it. What’s a 5 hour drive between parks?
Cheat shot.
Yup, Ride to Happiness is still the second best rollercoaster on the planet. It’s ridiculous and I can’t get enough.
It was hard to tear ourselves away and head for that ferry, but all in all a joyful little jaunt of a weekend with something to offer on both extremes of the spectrum. A +7 for the coaster count and a +1 for morale.
Right back at it again. This was originally billed to be a little birthday weekender to treat myself to some Gravity Group wood but it ended up being deferred for a Kpop festival in London no less – about the only thing in the world that can trump coasters these days. This all worked out for the best in the end, not least as one of us was still missing a renewed passport by the time the original dates rolled around, along with the fact that the outbound journey process was far less ruined than it could have ended up being, though still not without issue.
Turns out you can’t go anywhere any more, by any method of transport. We arrived at Dover, bleary-eyed and far too early before the new recommended time allowance and proceeded to get stuck in a 90 minute queue for passport control. Just like Heathrow this didn’t really make sense, as it was running at a higher capacity than ever before, but still, we ended up getting pushed back to the next ferry, which was then half an hour late itself.
As always, there was an overly ambitious plan afoot and some quick calculations during the crossing soon made it clear that an Alpine coaster at Parc D’Olhain was immediately gone, along with a +1 at another park, which I had already forgotten existed by the time the trip rolled around.
We were also slightly fearful of how the fastrack/back row system worked at Parc Astérix, particularly regarding whether it had the ability to sell out or not and, after failing to find any details online, booked ourselves a slot on the app as soon as the park opened. This went wrong straight away however, as it immediately counted us down through a 15 minute cooldown period and then insisted that we had to be on the ride between 10:15 and 11:15. This would be just a little tricky while still being on the ferry. Oh well, no time to worry about it now.
Instead it was straight to
Day 1 – Le Fleury
We were amused and confused to arrive at the car park only to be greeted by a road-side banner that stated Le Fleurby. Have we even come to the right place? Turns out it’s the name of the mascot.
Started strong on this beast. #1 Aircraft is not your average SBF Visa creation and the only one operating in the world apparently. I’ll take that.
Lazy research on my part had me believing Bayou Express was the next +1, but we’ve sadly since discovered that I’d already ridden it in Tivoli Gardens. At least the rest of the party needed it.
Yet another relocation operates here under the guise of #2 Rhaegal. This one found infamy fairly recently after derailing in Scotland and subsequently helped my tradition of picking up all the Scottish coasters after they’ve emigrated away. Like the near identical Pinfaris of late, it rode unnervingly smoothly and was even half decent. On a day like this.
Next.
Mer de Sable
I remember us looking at this park online while standing in a queue at Parc Saint Paul several years ago, before performing a cost-benefit analysis and deeming it unworthy of our time. It was wise to hold off as there’s a bit more going for it now, plus maybe my standards are a little lower.
After immediately getting lost and trudging through one of the many sand dunes that make up the park’s pathways, we stumbled across their dark ride first, Jungle des Chikapas. *insert Chiapas song here*
It’s a fun little theme, lots of puppeteered animals playing dress up, doing a whole dose of dancing and being their own civilisations. Very solid.
I hadn’t expected any themes beyond Wild West at this park, but we next wound up in an Asian sort of area. #3 Tiger Express was running like an absolute maniac on-ride with not a single block engaging and what would have been a 90 minute queue courtesy of Cedar Fair took a mere 20.
Up the top of a hill is the nicely rethemed and relocated Vekoma junior, #4 Silver Mountain, that once resided at Ratanga Junction in South Africa. This lands me two out of three coasters from the deceased park in as many months, though I’ll have to visit Chile sometime if I ever wish to complete that particular collection. The ride had great views of the surrounding countryside, a fear inducing water effect and even a bit of mist. Very solid.
It all went a bit grim to finish as we ended up in the longest queue of the day for #5 Bandidos, just another SBF spinner. The ride was twice as popular as it had been when we passed it earlier for some reason and we found ourselves in the midst of a group of about 20 children throwing sand around with their shoes.
Park complete though.
Parc Astérix
They were just the entrées, time for the main dish. Signs were positive as we powered towards the entrance gate, in that a lot more people were heading out rather than in for the day. The machine gun wielding guards of the past were no longer at security to greet us and, already having the measure of the place from our very amateur visit in 2017, we headed straight to the new for 2022 refurbished Tonnere deux Zeus and found the fastrack gate.
Once again the system was confusing, splitting into two rows up some stairs which I immediately assumed were for forwards or backwards, though neither sign made it clear that this was the case. We later surmised that the separation was in fact for ‘one-shot’ fastrack holders and multi-fastrack pass holders. Nevertheless we bowled up with our own backwards seat one-shot that had now been expired for a good 5 hours and in our already predicted French fashion, the host who was working hard and doing about three jobs at once didn’t even have the time for the discussion as to what went wrong, and let us straight into the back row.
Which was the plan all along, you can’t beat a good backwards ride when you simply have no clue what’s coming next. I wasn’t overly fussed about the old Zeus, we only managed to ride it the once and spent most of that worrying about our bag flying all over the place as it wobbled my thighs around some corners in amusing fashion. Coming into this experience I knew nothing of what the mad lads at Gravity had done to the ride for the refurb, trains aside, so it was quite the unnerving experience heading up that lift hill with all the wrong views.
First off, it was amazing. There’s something I find so joyous about the not knowing what’s coming, it just results in nervous and/or excited laughter whenever something significant happens, which in this case happened a lot. The first drop was a little shaky but it really found itself after that and just kept on giving. It felt like it went on for an absolute age, with endless little bursts of airtime which, with the direction of travel, provided an unusual accentuation in how the exit of each hill was lower than the entrance. It really drags you through it all in those seats.
As a counter point it was almost a little exhausting and mildly stressful. I’ve never done wood backwards before and that extra fear of being murdered by roughness at some point led to me never fully letting myself relax and be in the moment, always slightly on edge and braced for the worst. Fantastic fun though, one of a kind experience (right now) and highly recommended.
Buzzing with the eventual success, after the anxieties of the day, we headed over to the only other coaster we were specifically interested in revisiting. On route we skipped past old Goudurix and decided it was best left alone, having treated us kindly in the past.
Something that didn’t treat me so kindly was Ozlris, a ride that 5 years ago punched me in the head on the first drop, rode subsequently about as poorly as the Vekoma and was my first real taste of B&M, and inverts specifically, not being all that consistently good any more. I went in hoping for another Nemesis or Black Mamba, and it wasn’t even close. Since that day this one has sat dead last on my invert rankings, which I’ve always felt a little uncertain about as I’ve literally piled another 20 rides onto that list since, shunting it further and further down. Was it really that bad, baffes aside?
Yes and no. That pronounced, violent jerk was still present on the first drop in the back row, though I was ready for it this time. I suppose it could be considered a good thing to start off that boldly and then immediately be contrasted with the unusually floaty first inversion. Contrast hits again and it’s more forceful through the next part and into the loop than I previously experienced. That weird jarring lurch in the exit is still there and on closer inspection it’s a trim brake, which I find very odd (and funny). Is there also a bump in the track or is it purely the friction that gives it that strange feeling?
The ride loses pace a bit from there (I wonder why), which is one of the main issues I took from before as it does several sluggish turns over unlandscaped land, only diving in and out of the ground for some fun inbetweeny sections parallel to the station. One of the zero Gs was especially glorious and overall I much preferred it to how I found it before. It definitely isn’t the worst one but is also quite a step down from the best. Very solid.
Having completed what we had set out to do in surprisingly quick fashion, the plan was now up in the air. Their madhouse, Le Défi de César, had been a highlight of our last visit and so we checked it out again. Sadly it wasn’t operating either of the preshows, from which I remember nothing but fountain peril, although it was rather interesting to walk straight into the ride system from the exit doors with absolutely no context as to what was going on.
This one has always stood out to me as being the one that gets a little inventive with screens rather than just the usual physical decorations. It ain’t no Hex, but it sets it above your average, confusing story fest. The effect wasn’t quite as pronounced as before, though not especially helped by the fact that at least one of the screens was losing signal and cutting out throughout the ride. We went though our army test, got attacked by a giant squid and came out the other side in one piece. Very solid.
Another semi-dark ride that I hadn’t realised existed and subsequently missed before was Epidemaïs Croisières. For some reason we had great trouble even finding it this time, with the park app indicating it to be in the rocks under the Grand Splatch. Somehow we managed to walk straight past it at least once, staring insistently and completely 180° in the wrong direction of where we thought it was supposed to be.
Boats happen, a large man happens, countries happen and then it goes into a cave for some more happenings. The story was more than a little lost on me, in the end it could all be a dream/imagination as the bloke is playing with his toys in the bath, including our boat. That’s my best guess anyway. Supposedly I’m meant to know this stuff.
We weren’t sure what to do with Tonnere deux Zeus other than knowing it demanded some further rerides, but by this time the question had been answered for us. The backwards seats were no longer available to book and so we queued up for some back to back forwards laps through an impressively efficient regular queue to close the day out in style. Without doing it one more time and trying to really relax, I’d say it’s essentially as good in vanilla mode as it is in the special seats, with a far less pronounced difference in intensity between the two when compared with legends such as DC Rivals and Hollywood Dream.
Gravity have done wonders with it as far as I’m concerned, the still shaky first drop and leads into the satisfying CCI-style turnaround and it’s already hauling by this point. Fresh wood hits in the form of the new sideways airtime hill which packs a powerful punch that I’m all too familiar with and is a real highlight of the new design. I like the homage touch of the old train and some track sticking out above the turnaround at the far end, although it’s a shame you can’t really see it that often.
The next two straight sections remain chock full of airtimey speed hills, which amusingly are half retracked and half as-was, leading to a very special sequence of float and crunch as it bounces between the two. This segment ends with a wicked lateral jerk to the side as you’re still out of your seat from the last hill and thus begins the helices of doom.
They’re alright, the thigh wobble is sadly a thing of the past but there’s still enough of my preferred level of rattle to keep things interesting and then the new deafening tunnel full of lightning effects is hilarious. Yes it’s loud, but when you’ve done Hades 360 you can put up with just about anything. The finale is a little weak, as we’ve found with many recent woodies of this scale, a couple of slower hills, one wonky, on a piece of structure that has a rather impressive sway to it. The Voyage corner to finish is even a bit of a damper but it’s still a thoroughly enjoyable entity and a well earned revitalisation. Very solid.
Can’t wait for the one-two punch it’ll form with Toutatis. France are kicking our ass.
Today was the penultimate peril, and what better way to spend it than popping back into the place where it all started (France) and visiting a park that had become a bit of a legend.
Fraispertuis City
Fraispertuis had been on the cards, and then removed, countless times over the last few years, but now, today, it was finally time to experience one of France’s most elusive parks.
Call it me wanting to be extra positive because it was the second to last day of the trip, call it me being in a good mood because I hit 900 credits here, call it my broken body enjoying a slightly slower park visit, call it what you want, but I really enjoyed my visit to Fraispertuis today.
In my head I had visions of Fraispertuis being a bit like Parc Spirou, in other words, very busy, very hot and rather unpleasant to exist in. Thankfully though, as we arrived in the very empty and rather damp car park it became clear that this wouldn’t be the case. This was further confirmed when we were welcomed into the park by the friendly staff working at admissions.
Timber Drop
First up was the park’s nicely themed El Loco, Timber Drop.
This would be the 3rd one of these that I’ve ridden and by this point they do absolutely nothing for me, at least Timber Drop is nice to look at.
Grand Canyon might honestly be one of the best Soquets ever built. It isn’t content with you just sliding around in your seat like most other Soquets, oh no, Grand Canyon is determined to throw you about in all directions, including a very unexpected moment of vicious ejector airtime. Combine this madness with nice theming, an awesome looking train and headchoppers and I’m proud to have this coaster as one of my milestones.
Thanks to the park being empty, we had finished all the coasters in about 20 minutes. So in order to get the most out of the park we decided we’d try some of their other attractions.
Golden Driller
Starting with the rather terrifying Intamin drop tower, Golden Driller.
This 200+ foot tall tower ride gives you 4 different options for how you’d like to experience your terror, normal sitting, sitting and tilting, standing and tilting and sitting uncomfortably legs dangling and tilting.
I was only brave enough to try the 2 sitting options but I really enjoyed it, the views up there are pretty special and this style of Intamin drop tower always delivers a powerful drop.
The last attraction we chose to experience at the park was the Cactus.
This drop tower, manufactured by BEAR, had a very different way of instilling terror in its riders. Instead of taking you up hundreds of feet and then dropping you back to Earth, the Cactus instead features “a trick” during the ride sequence where the entire gondola violently tilts. It was honestly terrifying, even more so for the men on board, but so funny that I find it hard not to recommend riding it if you have the time.
With that we were finished with Fraispertuis, and what a nice visit it had been, friendly staff, nice atmosphere, fun rides and a beautiful setting, it certainly went some way in giving France the send off it deserved for all the quality time we had spent there this trip.
Then it was time for a revenge mission…
Heartline had taken it personally that we’d failed to ride the chocolate dark ride at the Swiss Museum of Transport 11 days ago thanks to most of Europe now being roadworks. This caused him to basically rearrange the second half of the trip in order to return, and today was that day.
A 3 hour drive from Fraispertuis took us back to Lucerne, and to the museum, this time with plenty of hours left in their operating day.
We exchanged our vouchers (the only evidence of our previous failure) and were given a time slot to ride.
Swiss Chocolate Adventure
After being given a digital translator (which didn’t work very well), we travelled down in an industrial sized elevator to the basement level where you board the ride.
How was it then?
The ride system itself was almost exactly the same as other massive trackless dark rides, think Rise of the Resistance or Symbolica. So the technology itself was very impressive and easy to appreciate.
As for the actual experience though, to put it simply, it wasn’t for me. I should have known going in, being that it’s part of a Museum, but the ride itself quite literally plays out like a Museum on wheels, very expensive and impressive wheels.
Nothing takes advantage of the trackless ride system, the sets (mostly screens) could be experienced exactly the same on foot, I guess the only advantage of being on the ride is saving time walking to the next set.
It wasn’t all for nothing though as they do give you some free? chocolate at the end, which instantly wins my approval.
Either way, we’d ridden it now and our revenge tour was a success.
High on chocolate and the strongest cola I’ve ever experienced (at the cost of a remortgage in the gift shop), I spent almost half of the very long drive back to Germany filling in all of the various forms the 3 of us needed to return home tomorrow.
We weren’t done yet though.
Thanks for reading, click here for the final day of this epic trip report, where we witness the death of Expedition GeForce, I get very angry at Holiday Park and Heartline loses his hat at Klotten.
Today marked the end of our, give or take, 10 days in France. Unfortunately though we wouldn’t be able to give the country the send off it had earned, thanks to there being very little to do, park wise, in the area. It was therefore decided that we’d spend the day sight seeing before visiting the final 3 Summer Funfairs when they opened later in the evening.
For the sight seeing we visited a gorge, which despite previous hesitations, I really did find myself enjoying.
In what felt like no time at all, it was time to leave the stunning scenery behind and begin the final Summer Funfair crawl of the trip.
Azur Park
First up was a “park” I won’t forget in a hurry, but mostly for the wrong reasons.
We arrived at Azur Park for opening and 2 things became immediately apparent, the coaster line up had changed (from my research) and almost nothing looked like it was ready to open…
So we decided to do a lap of the park.
In the area previously home to what I spent the entire trip calling the single rail Wild Mouse, was something even more exciting, Le King. King as far as I’m aware is royalty on the French touring scene and I was so excited that I was going to get to ride it, when they actually decide to open it that is.
Around 15 minutes after the park opened, several, mostly smaller rides, began to test.
Pomme
After another 10 minutes or so they opened the Wacky Worm. Much like Chenille from earlier in the trip, there was most certainly something wrong with this Worm, it was barely moving and almost stalled on each of our 3 laps.
And now we play the waiting game…
We spent the next 20 – 30 minutes bouncing between Le King and Le Crazy Mouse, watching them both not being open, until…
Crazy Mouse
Finally the spinner opened and my God were the operators not pleased to take our money and welcome us on board. Maybe they were just bitter because this was one of the weakest spinning mice that I’ve ridden.
Now all that was left to do was camp outside Le King.
After another frustating 15 minutes the operators appeared from out of nowhere and slowly began getting things ready.
Le King
As soon as the shutter to buy tickets opened we were there money in hand ready to finally take our seats and get this over with, but no…
After we purchased our tickets they let us onto the train, where they left us sitting for another 15 minutes…
Finally though, only an hour and half late, it was time to experience Le King.
How was it? I’m not sure.
I equal parts like and dislike this travelling monster.
On one hand, it’s a Soquet, it’s fast, it’s intense and it’s visually pretty cool. On the other, it’s brutally rough and the restraints are evil. I really think I need to re-ride it with a fresh mind and body to truly form a worth while opinion of it, but for now I’m just happy to be able to say that I’ve ridden Le King.
And the only operating Top Fun Typhoon in the World. I’d been intrigued about Magic Mountain from the moment I first saw a photo of its janky looking checkered inclined loop and it’s fair to say the coaster lived up to this assumption. It was rough, rattly and poorly transitioned but in the kind of way that’s more funny than offensive.
Tokaido Express is one of only 2 operating (3 exisiting) Mack Blauer Enzian Version 1s in the World and I thought it was great fun. This thing hauls way faster than modern versions of the layout and that coupled with no restraints and the ghetto seating position made for an exciting experience.
The final coaster of Lunapark Fréjus was Train Gourmand and we’d have to really put in effort if we wanted to ride it.
Do you remember the Wacky Worm from Parc d’Attractions Marseillan-Plage? The one that was a massive headache to ride but I promised that a funfair later in the trip tops it? Well this is it…
Instead of being able to buy jutons (tokens) to ride Train Gourmand at a cash box at the attraction, you had to purchase them elsewhere. Where was this elsewhere? Well after several laps of the bustling funfair, getting lost and accidently ending up in restricted areas, we finally found out, from the main cash desks at the entrance to the fair, in other words, nowhere near the coaster…
This still seems utterly pointless to me and I’ve no doubt many riders wouldn’t go to that effort and thus money would be lost, but what do I know…
Next up was Turtle’s Coaster, an EOS spinning coaster that rode 100 times better than the one at Gulliver’s Milton Keynes used to but was still terrible. It did look nice though.
It almost felt fitting to end our series of Summer Funfair runs on a Wacky Worm, I dread to think how many I’ve added to my count thanks to these fairs.
Almost 1am now, still haven’t eaten, 6 Croque McDos? Yes.
Tomorrow we’d be going on an epic roadtrip through various countries in order to reach Austria before it got too late.
Heartline had discovered there was a massive trackless dark ride themed to chocolate at the Swiss museum of transport. So, while eating our McDos we booked our slot to ride and then planned when we wanted to wake up. Not too early as it’s almost 1:30 now, but with more than enough time to make our time slot. Yes, that sounds good, we might even need to find something to do in Switzerland to kill time before our slot, if only we knew…
Day 11
We got a decent amount of sleep and then jumped in the car with a strong buffer period for any issues on the way.
First up we flew through Monaco, just to say we’d been. Despite what I’d been told about the place, this was the only “country” today that we didn’t face any hold ups in.
Then it was into Italy where far too much time was lost thanks to motorway traffic and endless roadworks.
Finally though we were able to escape the hold ups of Italy and enter Switzerland still with enough time to spare. Only for it to all be wasted to more motorway traffic and even more roadworks. At one point we were stationary for over half an hour on approach to a tunnel and this wouldn’t even be the worst tunnel related incident we’d witness today. See I told you the roads were out to get us and this is far from the worst example we saw on the trip, that’s coming, get excited.
The sat nav told us that we’d arrived 20 minutes after our booked slot, which was the last slot of the day. Knowing the museum stayed open for another couple of hours after this, we phoned to ask if they would honour our slot, but no, we’d need to pop in to get a refund or tickets to return…
We opted for the tickets to return and then decided we didn’t come all this way for nothing, so let’s do a spot of sight seeing in Lucerne.
Despite how I should feel given the circumstances, I cannot deny that’s one hell of a view.
Thanks to missing our time slot for the museum, then doing a couple of hours sight seeing, we were now way behind schudule on arriving in Austria at a sensible time. How bad can it be though? Checks sat nav. Yeah that’s not too bad, we should still be able to get a decent enough sleep tonight. Can you guess what happened next?
More roadworks, more traffic, more hold ups and the teased tunnel incident from earlier.
We were around an hour away from our hotel, still looking like we’d arrive at a semi sensible time, then it happened.
The 5th longest road tunnel in the World, the Gotthard Road Tunnel, was operating 1 lane only, due to, you guessed it, roadworks. We waited almost an hour for our turn to drive through this stupid hole in the mountains, turning our promised decent enough sleep into something stupid like 5 hours.
It was a shame really because the hotel was stunning, but never mind, I was still buzzing, the trip was about to enter phase 3, finally getting to visit parks that Heartline had visited and I was dying to see.
With that being said, thank you for reading, please click here for day 12 of my trip report where we visit the charming Freizeitpark Familienland and the wonderful Fantasiana.
