The next basecamp was Nanjing, where I had allowed a couple of days to make up for the fact that the last time I visited this city it was a total washout and I achieved precisely nothing in the area.
With a quick phone call ahead to ask my favourite question in the country “Is the woodie open?” “Yes.” “I’ll hold you to that”, first thing on the agenda was a bit of vengeance at a certain Crappy Valley, which was within reasonable (for a madman) striking distance after another hour on a train.
Day 5 – Happy Valley Shanghai
It’s taken me 3 visits to get this park dusted off and I rather resent it right now, but I don’t get beaten that easily.
Just to be extra spiteful the place was completely rammed on a weekday, which was unprecedented in my experience of China. Too far gone now. Straight into the queue for Fireball.
It took about an hour (the current record holder for me in China) with one train operation and the famed exercise faff going on in the station.
This ride is unique in the chain in that it has it’s own exercise song built into the sound system, so you can hear the torturous inefficiency and you know exactly what’s coming for the whole time you’re in the queue.
Train 2 basking unused in the sunlight.
#1 Wooden Coaster – Fireball
Finally got on the damn thing and it’s really good.
The ride has more big hills than most Gravitys in the region, it’s always good to see strong variation in layouts.
There’s also a fantastic section of about 6 aggressive and twisty hills progressively downwards in the second half, packed full of the sort of sensations these rides are really good at.
Definitely in the upper reaches of their builds over here, I’ll enjoy plenty more of that later, but…
The final cred needed here was Mine Train Ulven #2, so sweated over to the other side of the park for that.
#2 Mine Train Coaster
It has better theming and rides about the same, just doesn’t quite have the charm of the Danish original.
Back row was a must, for the very punchy first drop and at least it’s two days in a row now of not another Vekoma/Golden Horse layout. Damn Turkey for spiting me the set.
Wandered over to see if the B&M Suspended Family Coaster was worth a quick spin. Closed.
Would be rude not to ride a Megalite while you’re standing next to one. Closed.
How’s the dive coaster doing? 1 car operation and a longer queue than the woodie. Disgusting.
Back to Fireball then. Queued another hour. Loved it again.
Then as I ran back round for another go they did a Phantasialand and closed the ride 3 hours and 40 minutes before the park was due to close to ‘clear the queue’. Heartless bastards.
Diving Coaster was still open so took a token lap on that. Normally easy to get whatever seat you want out here, but the locals spite you on these super wide trains. You may be first in your row of 10 to pass through the air gates, but by the time you’ve sprinted to put something in the boxes on the far side, they’ve nabbed all the outside seats, swapped rows and caused a massive confusion amongst everyone by not leaving enough space for the relevant groups and it takes a good 5 minutes to sort out.
Had made a phone call a couple of days prior to a park with a new S&S launch coaster and found out that it wasn’t yet open, so that’s yet another of the reasons I ended up at the previous Fantawild and was in no particularly hurry to get to the next base camp for the trip (Jinan), where the only remaining destiation of interest was…
Day 4 – Quancheng Euro Park
Yeah, it’s that place.
Anyone can cook.
First impressions weren’t great, being told that several coasters were down and the rest had some faffy time slots going on. The somewhat inspired main street area was a total construction site, so had to access the rest of the park through some weird side room that was anything but professional looking.
This kicks you out in the new family area they’ve got going on. It’s themed to Holland and plays German music, so a little of that Euro spark seems to be working its way into the park at least. A relocated kids coaster is now here and though the sign has no rules beyond ‘1 adult per car’, we were told no adults allowed. Having done one 2 days ago with 2 adults in a car, what a dumb rule.
This indoor coaster was closed for some reason.
Looks fine to me. According to some commentary on the train ride much later in the day, theyre getting 2 new coasters in here. Not hopeful.
Battle of Blue Fire was closed until later in the day for ‘maintenance’. This maintenance involved pumping empty trains out every couple of minutes for several hours which, for China, was rather impressive. Seems strange though, as the park was so dead, once it actually opened, it only really operated for about an hour before no one went on it again and it stopped running. Will get to the ride later.
#1 White Horse Coaster
First thing actually open was the ‘Family Coaster-Medium’. A Mack Youngstar inspired ride with the usual imaginative name.
Hilarity came into play here as you must wear a mandatory padded green jacket to ride. This protects you from the not much going on that the ride has to offer.
Bit of theming, bit of shelter from the scorching heat of the day, wasn’t too bad actually. Couple of near misses and accidental wonky air time moments.
A subtle nod to Europa Park on the walls. I wore my Europa Park shirt to this place, hope someone got the joke.
From here, entered another indoor section where some kiddie flat rides used to be. Found them later in the new area.
SLC was opening later.
Didn’t fancy a splash.
Spinner #1 was opening later. (No picture for some reason, so have a closed water ride instead).
Animal Crisis. The deceiving exterior might have you believe this ride was inspired by the Madagascar films, but it’s a bit darker than that. Once inside, there’s lots of images and stories on the walls of an apocalyptic future in which humanity is facing a crisis of some sorts.
That and glowy tunnels.
Once you’re in the cars, which use Universal Studio’s Spiderman ride technology, the attraction involves following 3 superheroes on screen (ice shooting woman, fire shooting man and lightning shooting man) around various scenes fighting various monsters (big water snake, big land snake, hybrid man-spider in a lab that produces gargoyles, big godzilla boss fight). Interspersed with this is some general city destruction and, to fit the name in there somewhere, seemingly random appearances from zoo animals such as a herd of rhinos sliding across a fountain courtyard with poor graphics. The characters win in the end, get statues erected in recognition of their heroics, and you get various treasures and gems shot at your face in 3D for tagging along.
I actually quite liked it. The quality of the ride was a bit lacking compared to the real deals, but it’s on a similar scale to the earlier Fantawild iterations and I thought it was a decent effort. There’s a couple of good physical sets thrown in, whilst you’re spinning madly between scenes. One particular 3D screen effect as you head down a tunnel and burst into another scene was rather visually striking and effective.
A refreshing mine train experience was next. Finally, a unique layout. Not even two lifts.
#2 Mine Coaster
The ride had a couple of rough tracking moments, but also got a little intense in some parts with some sharply banked curves as it wound its way down the mountain. Kinda good, if only for being different.
The Motorbike coaster was closed. Half glad because I hate those things, but at the same time, spite!
#3 Spinning Coaster
Spinner #2 was open. Same thing again, not great.
Having completed the first lap of the park, found some tigers out the back of the new kids area.
They’ve tried to add a a sense of danger to the exhibit.
But it doesn’t look like the tigers are interested.
Sat down and had a snack while waiting for other things to open.
There’s another building like Animal crisis on the opposite side of the park. The whole place is quite symmetrical in its execution. I wondered what it housed and it turned out to be another flying simulator. Might as well give it a go later.
#4 Battle of Blue Fire
Got to Blue Fire as it finally opened and took a couple of laps.
The launch section is a bit of a different experience to the original, being concrete, some blue lights and pop music.
The first installation of this ride has faded into obscurity somewhat in my mind (except the theme, which I love, and sang to myself on the first lap here), so it was nice to run a little refresher course on it.
It’s actually better than I remembered. I had often associated it with being solid fun with a lack of air time or significant force (other than the last killer inversion), but there’s definitely some there when you’re snapping in and out of the mid course brake run and on the twisty hill through the loop.
The inversions range from good to great, it is more forceful in places than I gave it credit for, a solid package.
Did Global Journey, the flying simulator from there. All I remember from this one is wondering how the ride system worked, with the pods all starting horizontal but being hooked into what looked like a permanent ceiling with tiles and lightning fixtures. The seats then somehow shifted into the vertical position, but not far enough apart so you could see lots legs dangling above your head. Film was eh, I guess.
Stuff inside the building about the park? I can see Hulk in there and maybe even a 4D coaster. What else can you spot?
#5 Twister
Oh no, the SLC. It looks so awful off-ride. The green padded jackets are back on this one to protect you. Didn’t make me feel any safer.
It was a survival experience. Nothing too lasting, but still rather grim.
Had another weird moment of upside-downess on the stupidly shaped second inversion, so it’s almost becoming a regular feature on these, as is losing its speed at a ridiculous rate from just how badly it judders around the track.
#6 Crazy Snowboard
Spinner #1 was open and forcing people to sit on opposite corners to reduce the spin. Even the German manufacturers can’t pull off fairground layouts like this decently and this one just rode particularly poorly.
All available creds complete, took another couple of laps on Blue fire before they gave up for the day again.
Wishing Lost Gravity was here too.
Went to Gods Station to find out about the train. Had 40 minutes to wait, so thought we may as well catch it from the beginning of the circuit at the entrance to the park.
Wandered past the kids coaster to see if staffing had changed. It hadn’t.
The train arrived and it goes round the perimeter of the park grounds, which are actually much larger than the ride sections would make it appear.
There’s a cave on the first corner of the park where you can see more tigers being lazy.
Located on the far edges are 2 mountainous sections. This one is the fiery one.
You can walk to them, but it’s a long way, it’s hot, and there isn’t much in them for now except a few dinosaurs.
Then out the back they’re apparently working on a massive zoo expansion.
Then there’s the icy mountain. Again you could walk here, but it’s a long way, it’s hot, and there isn’t much in them for now except a few ice age creatures.
Third station by the SLC was a ghost town. Wonder why.
There’s another tunnel section on the final corner, but I only remember it containing bricks.
The spiting Motorbike coaster.
I like this model of the park at the entrance. Shows a good scale of ambition. Shame it hasn’t quite come to fruition yet with a good proportion of the attractions being closed or on a very limited service. I doubt things will improve in the future as parks like this tend to slip into a perpetual state of laziness, doing the bare minimum with what they have on offer and simply hoping guests will put up with it anyway.
Final day in the city and my backup plan list was already running dry. It had all been very unsuccessful and rather demoralising. Options were: risk the Botanical Garden being winded out again (they weren’t answering the phone), do another city park with basically the same boring lineup as the first day, or put myself through another Fantawild Adventure park.
Reluctantly…
Day 3 – Fantawild Adventure Shenyang
The bus pulled directly into the car park which was a welcome start for one of these parks. There looked to be about 20 cars total, with someone in a BMW trying and failing to do donuts in the open space.
Walked down the massive main street section which is all set up for a second gate. It’s just wasteland for now, but will probably open before the new Hotgo park. For a rare change, I didn’t even care what was open and what wasn’t so ignored the signs, no questions to the staff, bought tickets and headed in.
The castle centrepiece is in scaffolding making for a pretty sight. Quite a nice effect, from a certain point of view.
Came to Sky Sailor first, which was next running in about an hour. Seen several of the buildings that housed these rides before, but hadn’t actually managed to do it yet, missing the most recent one by about 5 minutes. So we made plans to try it this time.
Water ride wasn’t open. Don’t think I’ve ever seen one of the themed ones open.
#1 Vesuvio Volcano
Cred then. Mount Tanggula, but with a volcano instead. That same double lift mine train layout that is just absolutely everywhere over here now. Not as hilariously bad as the previous iteration though.
#2 Flare Meteor
Standard operations meant that took an age, so cred ran to the Golden Horse SLC to get it out of the way. It actually felt a bit windy today, unlike the day before when things were closed, so my thoughts on the lift were mainly ‘please don’t stall, please don’t stall, please don’t stall.’
I reckon the wind made an impact as the ride had an overly long upside down moment in the cobra roll that actually felt quite cool. The rest of it was quite bad. It’s not the side to side that gets me on SLCs any more, it’s the weird backwards and forward pumping that some of them develop. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it just shakes your insides a little too much. This was the latter.
Slightly injured, cred ran back to the complete opposite end of the park (dedication) to arrive just in time for Sky Sailor.
Rode too many flying simulators on this trip, so I’m struggling to even remember which one this was… Nope. Can’t.
Not bad, but obviously nothing special. Better than Ferrari Land.
Did a full lap of the park from there, seeing what else might be new to me/interesting enough to do again. Everything we came to was either closed or had a time slot that was way later in the afternoon, by which time we would have to leave.
The only attraction even worth considering was Space Warrior in the end, the screen shooting ride that I really didn’t like previously.
Some of the dark rides at Fantawild parks have what I’ll call reception areas at their entrance, separate to the queue, with benches and in this case, books and colouring pencils. This is mainly because on quieter days they take regular breaks from running the ride, only operating in waves or a few cars at a time. Stood in this reception area for about half an hour while the staff girl was waiting for ‘the call’ from the ride team. Ended up having a good chat as she was rather friendly. Apparently only 3 ‘westerners’ had been to this park before (I reckon I can name them) and life working at Fantawild is rather boring. Gave up in the end, said we’ve got a train to catch and told her not to worry, we’ve done this ride in Zhengzhou. Shock face.
Gave up on the park as well, leaving nothing to chance with transport and getting out of this city. It wasn’t necessary to hurry as for the first time I’ve ever seen, all the high speed trains in the region were delayed by over an hour. Due to, yes, wind.
Didn’t mind this park as much as the previous iteration as there were zero stakes, minimum faff and no particular need to rush anything (though I still ended up running like an idiot). Still felt like achieving very little (other than a +2) out of half a day out though and, ugh, this hobby bothers me sometimes.
Grabbed a taxi the next morning and asked to head for the Hotgo resort. It contained another friendly driver but he was somewhat useless and must have smoked about 30 times during the journey. The somewhat useless part came half an hour into the journey where he pulled over and asked a man on the street where Fantawild was. Whoa whoa whoa, whoa whoa. There’s no way I’m going to another Fantawild Adventure in a hurry (HA!). In his mind, Hotgo was in the same place. In reality, I knew he was way off. He opened up maps on his phone and got us to find the route for him and then set off again.
Another half an hour later we had left civilisation behind and a massive castle with a couple of B&Ms appeared on the horizon. I fully expected them not to be ready as the construction progress was almost moving backwards by that time, but I wanted the woodie in the same resort, so told him to follow signs to the already completed Jungle World park. As he got near he pulled over to what looked like construction workers sitting around in the road, but he maintained these were local taxi drivers. Turns out the whole resort was closed. Turns out I’ve discovered a new adversary and stumbled across the only big brand park in China with a seasonal opening calendar. None of it wast open at all until the following weekend, so cheers to the website for being completely useless.
The driver now had no clue how to leave the area we had taken so long to find and, while I got out my list of backup parks again, he jumped out of the car and into the passenger seat of another passing taxi for a chat. “Where to next?” “Botanical Garden mate.”
Got a rather spiteful view of Time Travel on the way out of the area. The rollercoaster I had come so far to ride, only for it to slip through my fingers by a mere week. To add insult to injury, I didn’t realise how good it actually looked until I saw it in person. It seems to follow the terrain very well.
Day 2 – Shenyang Notanical Garden
This place wasn’t too far down the road and we were soon pulling over at the side of the road by a big bridge that crossed over to the entrance. Desperate to get back to civilisation, the taxi bloke had already acquired another passenger before we had even left the vehicle. Thanked him for the detour and jumped out.
Crossed the bridge into the massive entrance plaza and spotted the ticket window. Asked about the rides. Nope. Turns out I’ve discovered 2 new adversaries in China. All closed for the wind. Not wasting any more time with that then. Back over the bridge and into the car park where apparently a bus should be along soon. On closer inspection there was no way a bus was going to bother entering this run down car park with barriers everywhere, so waited by the side of the road while a dog barked at us for half an hour. Another taxi would have sufficed as well, but it was a desolate place. Salvation appeared on the horizon. A bus back to the city.
This terminated at the main station, directly opposite the hotel we had left many hours earlier. Well that’s the morning gone. Next backup park?
Jumped on the metro. Went to the wrong mall. Had ice cream.
Went to the right mall.
Day 2 – Sinbad Happy Castle
This place had a certain charm to it, reminding me most of Berjaya Times Square. Interesting setting inside a building, but a bit tacky really.
#1 Jungle Explorer
It felt so good to actually get on something for the day, so Children Coaster (dont think it’s called Jungle Explorer, but who am I to argue with the internet?) was an instant hit. Only 1 lap of magnificence though.
#2 Star Express
Another spinner was up next, high up in a mall alongside some bad windows looking out over a construction site of a city. Oh yeah, that’s where the resemblance comes from.
Were joined by a local couple, who received a swift nod, so had a full car on this version. It actually span a lot and the guy was loving every second of the girl’s reaction. Not bad.
Took a lap of the park to see if anything else interesting was lurking. It wasn’t.
Just to be sure, rode this suspended monorail which takes a lap of the park. Nope.
Well this trip was a right mess, hopefully that makes for a good read.
First day was cut in half by a ‘rescheduling’ of the flight. Not that this really mattered in the end (spoilers). Touched down in Shenyang halfway through the day to find that apparently there’s no legit public transport from the airport to the city. Ended up with a taxi ride that seemed to take forever, though the driver was friendly enough.
Checked into the hotel. Still time for a few creds. Took the metro to somewhere vaguely near a backup plan park. Strolled through a nice green space from there, but there were no surprise creds in sight. I always forget how massive everywhere is in China, so the plan to walk it was becoming a burden and ended up jumping on a bus to…
Day 1 – Nanhu Park
Always good to start strong. One of those ‘stick a grubby amusement park in the back of some trees in the city’ places that China does so well.
Walked past various other activities like karaoke in the pagoda, karaoke on the bridge and karaoke on the riverbank. Varying vocal quality.
Eventually stumbled into the hustle and bustle of the amusement area. Turned down about 50 people wanting customers for some dodgy looking flat rides. “Nah mate, creds only.” The first person to earn some money was standing outside this ride, somehow managed to negotiate a 2 for 1 deal out of him.
#1 Spinning Coaster
Classic spinner of unknown origins. The cars have the ability to rotate from the top of the lift, unlike the usual ones of these that don’t allow any spinning to kick in until about halfway through the layout, but the poor trackwork never allows it to pick up enough speed to do anything much.
A proper beast was up next, looking lonely and abandoned. An old woman was running some insignificant ride in front and beckoned. No no, open the cred for us instead. Money in hand, how could they say no?
#2 Golden Dragon Roller Coaster
Loved this one. Such character. Before we could sit in the train, a musty old cushion was placed on the seat for us. After squeezing in, a second musty old cushion was wedged in between my left side and the edge of the car. I like where this is headed.
Got 3 laps of pure comedy, each time the lift struggling more and more to engage, breaking our backs once it did. Need to relocate that cushion.
#3 Jungle Squirrel
JUNGLE MOUSE! I’m ashamed to say that I’ve had to enter the country 5 times to get on one of these, so I was very happy to finally do it. Close your eyes and the spirit of Wild Mouse lives on. Minus the air time.
Headed over a bridge to a more barren section of the park for the biggest ride of the day. Now some damage could be done. The guy running it was delighted to have a customer and immediately jumped on the microphone to try and churn up some more business with me as the poster boy. Nah. No one was buying it.
Off we go then.
#4 Roller Coaster
The layout starts with a slow helix of doom that builds tension before you plunge into the undersized loop.
The inversion was pretty grim, something akin to a sucker punch. The remainder was manageable.
The final and most shameful cred in the park was a small worm thing, but it was abandoned and the train parked in the wrong place, so that didn’t happen. Pity, probably one of the few of those that would actually let adults on. Here’s a depressed monkey instead:
Jumped on the ferris wheel opposite for some views.
Boat ride on a zipwire there that I expected to go into the water at least. Nope.
The pods on the wheel didn’t smoothly follow with gravity, rather lurched and grated in stages, so it felt a little sketchy. Not the worst wheel of the trip though.
I had tried to distance myself from the hype surrounding this ride somewhat, for the year or so leading up to it opening. In trying not to let it sink in that my favourite ride type was coming to the UK, it eased the expectations and even by the time I was sitting down in the thing, the realisation hadn’t quite hit me. When that moment finally arrived I found myself in a sexy Mack bucket seat, sitting on a launch track, in Blackpool. What?
First impressions were good. Nothing was overwhelming, but it felt like a solid layout that had somewhat more to give… and give it did.
I kept going back to it throughout the course of the day and it only ever got better. I soon came to the selfish realisation that regardless of how well Icon was received by the public, how well it did for the park, whatever, this ride is exactly what I wanted for the UK.
This isn’t purely down the ride itself, but also the park it’s located in. Blackpool Pleasure Beach is great for its easy-going atmosphere, but the park also separates itself from most others in the country by being just well run and packed full of enough attractions for you to really get the most out of your day there. Queues don’t get huge, operations are great.
When I first rode Icon it was a gorgeous weekend, we didn’t even arrive for the park opening time, but had done all the rides bar a couple of breakdowns by lunchtime. The brand new attraction never got above 15 minutes, but it can’t physically hold a queue of more than about 20 minutes.
Why does this matter? Because Icon is ridiculously fun and re-rideable. Something that has been missing for me in this country, personally, forever. I’m very happy to say it’s my new favourite in the UK and I’m extremely excited that it’s been built somewhere that really lets you make the most of that.
Nemesis had that crown before, and it’s great, but it was never a ride I’d want to do 10 times in a day, even when the UK scene was all I had. Merlin parks are forever falling out of my favour as the queues and operations get steadily worse. It’s a struggle to turn up to those places on a whim and have either an overall good time or spend some time whoring something you love. Even if they did get something as good as this I just feel it would be harder to enjoy and appreciate. When I do turn up to them, the time investment is rarely worth the return for me, and that’s a much more significant factor when you’re dealing with your ‘local’ parks – there’s no real obligation to stay when you can just sack it off and go home if you’re not feeling it.
Enough sidetracking. The back seat of Icon is where it’s at, all the key air time moments are enhanced by this position and it’s those moments punctuating the other sensations going on that make this style of ride special for me. The first hill is crazily good with it’s sharp entrance and exit, separated by a slow drag over the crest.
A well executed sequence of twisty elements follows to keep you amused, never too repetitive and always with at least some purpose.
The gentle downhill inversion is glorious, something Mack have always managed to nail for me. Then the ride gets a little wild and kicks you down into the second launch and you’re soon being dragged through another almost indescribable feature with a mesmerising mix of sensations.
With more twists and turns, including one particular moment of the layout that stands out with some strong positive forces (another tick for variety), the ride keeps you happy all the way into the brakes, never truly letting up. I even appreciated the way it flies straight out of the brake run again and into the station, coming in hot. I like a sense of purpose in a ride.
Minor onride nitpicks: The mist in the tunnels that it opened with was off within the first few weeks. The wonky hill near the end doesn’t kick as strongly as some of its rivals and is a bit unbalanced in that it’s tailored towards the left half of the train. I would have liked a counter to it somewhere in the layout. I never really felt, appreciated or even noticed the interactions and near misses with other rides that, during the whole ‘how the hell are they going to fit this ride in at Blackpool?’ conversation, seemed like they would be a dominating part of the ride experience. Maybe I was wrong earlier and I was overwhelmed, the whole time.
The entrance and queue are decent. I like the framing of the ride over the gate and the way the pathway follows inside the supports for a while. The fact that Grand Prix is mincing along the fence next to the queue makes me laugh. The station is decent too. It looks like a bit of modern interior design, the phrase ‘those mirrors will just open up the room’ must have been said at least once. They’ve adopted the free-for-all row allocation strategy which I know and love, the staff sometimes got annoyed by this, but I hope it sticks. The bag holders and section of wall that is built directly into the transfer track and move with the train also make me laugh. The exit to the ride is a bit lacking. The plain black walls are too high to enjoy the views as you pass between the two launches, the floor is already collapsing and the stairwell is boring.
I fell for the soundtrack as soon as I heard it in person and found myself singing it quite often throughout the day which is always a good sign. It ignites an infectious spirit within me, standing in the station and tapping along to it while waiting for my turn to ride. The music ended up a worthy addition to trip playlists.
It’s the only rollercoaster in the UK I can say I actively want to go and experience, every year, many times. I think that says it all.
As the largest theme park in the UK, Alton Towers is home to a wide variety of interesting rollercoasters. Often attempting to be leaders in ride innovation or, more recently, seekers of ‘world’s first’ claims, the ‘secret weapon’ series of installations at the park has seen both prototypes and record breakers come to life within its vast grounds. Although I seem to have grown out of visiting this park any more than necessary, I do appreciate the relative level of consistency and uniqueness across a coaster lineup of this scale.
#11 Octonauts An inoffensive +1 with notable theming.
#10 Beastie A surprisingly vicious +1 that can no longer be found at the park. Fear not, this ride now lives in deepest, darkest Wales.
#9 Runaway Mine Train Although it is probably one of the stronger Mack Powered Coasters out there and a solid family favourite with ride operator interaction and multiple laps on offer, it’s a very long time since I’ve gone out of my way to ride this one and I generally skip past the whole area of the park that contains it now. I do love it when multiple rides within a park are intertwined and their atmosphere can feed off of each other so the fast section of the layout that runs past the rapids ride in the tunnel was always my favourite moment.
#8 Spinball Whizzer/Sonic Spinball I have had good rides on this at certain times as you can get a bit of a violent spin. There’s even an on-ride photo of me for this somewhere, of which I’d say there are less than 10 in the world from any ride so it must have meant something important at the time. The ride is rarely worth the queue for me these days though, particularly with its poor capacity, just a bit too much of a fairground attraction for Alton Towers really.
#7 Rita – Queen of Speed/Rita If you’re into launches, it lacks the punch of a Stealth. If you’re into coaster layouts you can really sink your teeth into (like me), Rita lacks anything else interesting as well, consisting of corners in alternate directions with uneventful hills between. It was built in the era when launching into a corner mostly led to an awkward transition, bordering on the uncomfortable if you’re not prepared for it. It used to be an ordeal to ride when I was more susceptible to this type of thing, now it’s just there. What I do like about this ride is the launch announcement. The half hearted ‘go, go… go’ is very representative of the ride and always brings a smile to my face.
#6 Wicker Man The simple process of riding other wooden rollercoasters makes this ride seem weak. Couple that with the disproportionate popularity/queue times and I am often left with this question to myself: ‘why bother?’ It took us 22 years to get a new woodie in the UK and with all the technologies and manufacturers now on offer they still failed to surpass the very low bar set by the others we already have in the country. The preshow is better than the ride experience and builds towards something that wants to lean on its theme more than its thrill, which I would be perfectly fine with if it actually made any further attempt to do that. It doesn’t. The hardware is an underwhelming experience and the ending shed is completely squandered. Wicker Man is the worst GCI in the world, but it’s otherwise fine to ride.
#5 Air/Galactica I know Merlin have developed a reputation for dark and dingy theming these days, but at least that’s a theme. Air had none of that, no presence, no energy. Just a prototype in a car park, by a car park. For a park that definitely errs strongly on the side of theme, I see this as significant step down. Then it had a name change and Virtual Reality added and that of course didn’t help at all (other than the new soundtrack, which I have a strong appreciation for). I like the build of momentum at the start of the layout with the double down style first drop and the sections where the train is swooping over grass rather than concrete are decent, but the fly to lie being the only interesting element it attempts just ends up being uncomfortable and something I’m glad they never repeated. Air is now the worst B&M flyer in the world, but it’s otherwise fine to ride.
#4 Oblivion When the concept worked for you, this was a great experience, I can’t deny that. Now the ride boils down to a singular decent out of your seat moment. This is the UK, so that makes a good ride by comparison. Fear of a single element as a base concept on a ride seems almost impossible to bring about these days and I do miss that to a degree, even if it’s just by watching or experiencing it through other people. There’s a lot more out there now diluting the simple sensations that used to scare people, like just a (near) vertical drop. Oblivion is now the worst B&M dive layout in the world, but it’s otherwise fine to ride.
#3 Thirteen I was never subject to any of the hype and/or marketing around this ride, so the common complaint that it wasn’t what people were expecting never bothered me. The only thing that bothers me is the trim brakes on the first drop that drain it of any real significance. It’s actually the only coaster in the park I have a soft spot for, a little bit of an emotional attachment. The drop track still kicks my ass (particularly with the teasing bounce it does before the drop) and it was potentially my first ever genuine joyous surprise moment on a ride the very first time it shot backwards in the dark. It’s also the first time I ever saw this new era of quirky shuttle layouts and switch track sections being run at an efficient and impressive pace. Watching the track move, followed by the mini ending launch is so satisfying and I remember thinking this could become so much more. And it did.
#2 Smiler I like the ambition behind this ride. It was made to break a record and often in this industry that leads to a lack of creativity, but I’d argue this was done in a better way than most other significant records. What came before it? Colossus. How can we do the most inversions? Let’s take that super basic sequence of inversions already out there (loop, cobra, corkscrew) and add enough rolls at the end to win. Smiler went beyond this, the inversions are almost all different and much less commonplace – they even invented one for the ride (or is it two?) and they’re paced between other interesting features like the vertical lift. The best part of the ride, as with the previous record holder, is the surprise airtime hill between inversions, and it does this twice, and better. Sometimes being upside down is fun too now, it’s a statement of how ride inversions have improved in general – they have a lot more variety than they used to and offer many more sensations to go with it. It doesn’t fully pull them off due to Gertslauer’s struggle with quality at the time, but the ride gives it a good go. If it was built to their current standard, we could have had a potential Nemesis beater. As a ride it’s both long, something the UK lacks a lot (Ultimate aside) and intense to me even now, which is also hard to come by these days. I like an intensity that earns itself – if I could ever ride the Smiler several times in a visit, I suspect I may even struggle a little, but I also think I may grow to like it even more than I currently do. Sadly the park, the queue and to a lesser degree the restraints mean that will never happen.
#1 Nemesis The most clinically positioned ranking in the list. Yes, it used to be my favourite ride but that was before I really thought about such nonsense (deep scientific importance). I believe it says more about the quality of the other things I had done than it does about this ride. Aside from that, it was always a professional relationship with Nemesis for me, never personal. I never fell in love with it. I enjoyed it because it was the done thing to do and I respect it. The overarching use of storytelling and intelligent integration of the hardware into the terrain set a good benchmark for many future attractions. As a ride it’s forceful, well made, well paced and that downwards helix that introduces you to the concept of having your feet ripped off by the force of a rollercoaster is legendary. Unlike the rest of this list, Nemesis is a good example of the ride type, but it doesn’t excite me.
With all the big stuff successfully ticked off, there was time for a brief stint of mopping up creds. Sat navs here are pretty terrible as nowhere has a uniquely identifiable address and it has to rely on names only. It didn’t know any of the smaller parks existed, so to find some WiFi and work out another plan of attack, let’s go to somewhere it has heard of:
Day 4 – Burj Khalifa
Didn’t know how or where to fit this in amongst all the rest of it, so just winged it and turned up first thing hoping to book a time slot as you usually have to with these big tourist buildings. Luckily it was quiet enough to go straight in however.
So up we go.
Decided to just do the cheaper deck as again, got to save something for next time haven’t I. Wasn’t particularly blown away by the height of the tallest building in the world here, maybe it isn’t helped by the surroundings and a lack of a sense of scale.
The nearby area was significantly more sparse than I had imagined. Have some views.
All in all, just your standard observation deck stuff. Next.
Got lost in the mall on the way back to the car and with a stroke of good fortune walked straight past something that stirred a reaction in my head.
VR Park Dubai
Fairly sure I saw that name the previous night when scrolling through Coaster Count. Sure enough, they’ve got a bonus cred.
#1 Dubai Drone
I had done all my planning for the trip through coast2coaster and for some reason it wasn’t on there, so would have quite easily missed it all together. But here we are. A slightly more significant ride than your average bonus +1 as well, being a Gerstlauer spinner. Shame it has compulsory Virtual Reality headsets, though the name of the place would imply that that’s kind of the point. The ride itself was alright, I think. VR wasn’t good, emulating being flown around the city in a drone, with poor graphics and a very poor matchup between the camera rotation and the on-ride spinning. Didn’t try anything else in the park, needed to get back on track and, you know, VR.
Armed with some names of landmarks near to the parks I wanted (mostly supermarkets and hotels), tried the sat nav again. It knows a small shop on the other side of the road to this massive mall (which it doesn’t know) that houses the park (which it doesn’t know) and there was some dust by a bridge nearby on which people seemed to be parking. That’ll do then.
Adventureland
This place looked the most intriguing (and significant) of the lesser parks around the area. Stopped off for some food in the mall first and sat watching the powered coasters buzzing around the entrance facade which faces into the food court area. I like that.
Went to the ticket window to purchase a prepaid card, asking for just the 3 coasters. The response was: “I don’t know how much things cost, you’ll have to go and look first.” Sounds fun.
Had a wander, did a quick bit of maths and went back. Was able to provided a very precise number, but it all got complicated with bonus deals and stuff. Never mind that, just want the creds.
#2 & #3 Forest Train & Kukulcan
I knew the place had the 2 powered coasters, but had no idea they were stacked on top of each other so creatively. This crazy station building houses both, the red one being up top and the yellow one below. They share the same entrance and are labelled the ‘slow train’ and ‘fast train.’ Chose to start with the slow, though the staff guy kept insisting the fast would suit better. Don’t worry, there’s time for both.
Forest Train is indeed slow for the most part, mincing around some inside theming and across the lower half of the outside of the park, but it picks up some good speed on the way back into the station and takes the final corners fast enough to cause damage (and uncontrollably continue for a second lap).
Kukulcan is a bit faster, higher up and more intense for a ride of its nature and has many amusing low clearance moments.
#4 Rocket Cycles
The Zamperla motocoaster was last. Usually expect to hate these things, but it wasn’t too bad at all. The lift hill is another entertaining example of their use of space in here, with the rarely seen 90 degree corner halfway up it, like an RCT throwback.
That was fun. Time for any more? It was a hotel address that got me to the general vicinity of the next place, but car parking wasn’t quite so obvious. Eventually stumbled on a patch of tarmac with a hut in the corner that cost a couple of quid for an hour. That’ll do. On walking to the mall (which it doesn’t know), there’s a massive car park (which it doesn’t know) right outside. Ugh. At least it was the same price.
There’s another cred across the road from this mall, but the place was fenced off and deserted. Spite.
Sparky’s Al Ghurair
Rocked up to this place with very little time left in the day. Straight to the desk. “How much for the cred?” Some complicated explanation about prepaid cards again. “Sounds good, just take the cash.” In the midst of this, a very friendly local woman decided to give her ride card away to save me some deposit money. I didn’t have the exact change and the ticket woman didn’t have the correct change to compensate. I said don’t worry about it, keep the extra, but she was either very insistent on being helpful or didn’t want to get in trouble with the accountant. She began calling over multiple members of staff as well as other guests to root through all their wallets and pockets for some extra change. This was getting out of control. “Seriously, don’t worry about it.” Ran off to the Rol(l)er Coaster.
#5 Roller Coaster
This spinner was fun. More weirdly shaped lifts to fit it into the building and some inconsistent spinning action along the way. Made for an interesting and relatively unique experience.
As I went to leave past the ticket desk, she had the correct change lined up for me on the counter. How lovely.
Didn’t quite know how this day was going to pan out, but I had the combo ticket for the water park and they opened an hour earlier. I picked up a work colleague who had flown in the night before and wanted to take the opportunity to see first hand what my hobby was all about. Cred time.
Day 3 – Yas Waterworld
Caved and went for a locker on arrival, mainly to protect the precious paper park ticket.
Once again I was overly early and we spent a good 15 minutes milling around at the door. Everyone else’s excitement was building. I wasn’t so sure. Got no pictures of the park unfortunately. Not the type of person to feel the need to wear a phone in a plastic wallet around my neck like a few others I noticed here. (If you look closely, you can spot the coaster track in one of the pictures later. There’s a little game for you).
Walked straight to the cred as fast as my inappropriate footwear would allow and navigated the stairs with some difficulty.
Kinda liked #1 Bandit Bomber, if just for the relative uniqueness of it. Even just having bare feet made it a new experience for me. It’s got the comfy Vekoma SFC trains, 2 lifts and a bit of fun through the layout. Also like the barrels on the front of the train that get automatically refilled with water each time it sits in the station.
Nearly left at this point, but figured there was still time for trying something else. Ah, might as well. I know I don’t trust myself to be flailing solo in a tube, so I’d rather do something where you get to sit in a dinghy. Selected the big 6-seater one (Falcon’s Falaj?) and struggled up even more stairs to the top. Sat down, glasses and footwear in hand, thinking I can’t really hold on to anything now… well, this will be an experience.
Christ it was intense. I might be converting to this stuff at some point. It took less than 3 seconds of the boat tipping backwards off the ramp before I was completely soaked, couldn’t see and was in hysterics, from there it was just a brutal alternating succession of crazy air time that shouldn’t happen and vicious walls of water to the face. It all ended in a blur and you have to jump out into a waist deep pool to escape the insanity. Almost as wet as Valhalla that.
Hmmm. I need to leave now and the shorts I’m wearing all day are somewhat… soaked. Stood around in the sun for a while, carefully toeing the line between drying off quickly and getting sunburnt. Then proceeded to the exit.
Got the car rather wet and drove round to the mall car park, parking next to what I thought was a Ferrari (appropriately). Apparently it was a Corvette. They’re not going to let me in now.
Ferrari World
You know what time it is. Super cred mode. Straight to Rossa, no time to think.
There was a little time to think actually, they were operating it super slow and apparently it was just teetering on the edge of being too windy to run it at all. Never mind that, let’s get it over with.
No one was being brave enough for the front, so we slithered up to the opportunity. They supply you with goggles which were already biting into my face, staring down the launch track. Meh.
#2 Formula Rossa
It is fast, I’ll give it that. So much face wobble by the end of the straight that I’m rather thankful for the trims to be honest, it felt like I was about to lose a cheek.
Speed isn’t everything though and I wasn’t particularly blown away by the rest of the layout. It impressed me, it’s fast and ridiculous, but sadly it doesn’t offer much else. I admire the limits being pushed and the highlight was probably seeing the water sprays on the wheels during the brake run.
On closer inspection, the layout is bigger Rita…
Took another go in the back later on and that basically just ruined it for us. A staff woman did say “no one ever asks for the back” and now we know why. Rode really awful in all the corners. Really, brain shakingly awful. No thanks.
On to better things?
Flying Aces was probably my most anticipated ride of the trip.
#3 Flying Aces
Didn’t really get the fuss about these Intamin wing coasters on the first lap, it felt like a lot of pointless meandering and not much going on. Gave it a couple more goes during the day. Yeah, not bad. It’s a grower. I’ll come back to it later.
#4 & #5 Fiorano GT (Left & Right)
This custom Maurer ride looks like a harmless bit of fun. It’s pretty decent, again if only for being somewhat unique. The lack of banking in the corners give it a bit of extra kick as well as a more genuine feel for what it’s trying to achieve as a car race, which I appreciate.
Never quite seemed to be racing though, it always ended the same way. Wonder if the launches are overly intelligent to make that happen. Also the restraint unnecessarily having the same hoopy handle as Maurer’s spinners in a really awkward, out of reach place amused me.
#6 Turbo Track
Turbo Track to round off the creds. Everything was walk on at this time, so that’s yet another set finished in 45 minutes.
An Intamin launched shuttle ride that was a bit something and nothing really. A very faffy loading procedure for a coaster that’s over in 30 seconds. Chose the seats facing backwards to start off with, but going in blind didn’t even help to give it any noticeable forces.
Felt like it barely made it up the spike as well. Certainly didn’t see much up there. Think someone else already said this, but it’s a good use of space and that’s about it.
Ok, I’m not feeling this park as much. As with the Spanish place, it’s all a bit Ferrari up its own arse, which isn’t the best vibe. I wonder if the dark rides will fix that.
If you start with Speed of Magic. Noooooooooo. The preshow starts off with a kid on a bed playing a game with this cartoon guy called Nello and he’s a rather unpleasant character – encouraging kids to act like they’re the best at everything and everyone else sucks. Cool. The boy gets pissed off with the game (rightly so), then Dad walks in. “I’VE JUST BOUGHT A FERRARI MATE.” Best Dad ever (right?). “Here’s the keys.” Nello steals the keys. Gotta play the game to get ’em back boy. Sigh. Once you’re on the simulator it ain’t that great either. Don’t really remember much beyond obnoxious shouting from Nello as he drags you around on strings through the jungle, ice, lava, desert? Then FUTURISTIC FORMULA 1 and you beat him in 5 seconds. You got lucky punk.
In total contrast to this, Benno’s Great Race is really good. An inventive twist on a shooting dark ride where a rabbit is racing the feds (beavers?) through Italy, the ‘gun’ is a spanner and you have to help him along the way by breaking boxes, cutting spiders webs and putting bees in jars. Great stuff.
Think it was pizza time after that. When in Rome. Again, quality food, reasonably priced. UAE you’re killing it.
Oh here’s that other dark ride of the factory tour, Made in Maranello. Didn’t rate it, wasn’t particularly interesting and a bit more ‘look how great we are.’
Did the cultural maze full of quotes from Zayed himself, this being the year of Zayed. That was more interesting.
This dumb thing still isn’t ready.
They had lots of ‘decades of music’ mini events going on around the park with local DJs which was quite amusing. An 80’s one with Rubiks cubes, graffiti and 2 blokes having a dance off. 70’s one with disco people trying to grind against you while you walk past. 60’s one with hula hoops. Then the 90’s one – it had this beatboxing guy who was very good at his job. He announced the entrance of a skateboarder, a BMX guy and someone on rollerskates. World Champions in their field he says. They messed up so many times that it got rather embarrassing and we left (not sure why we were watching in the first place).
Well if that’s the tone being set, I’m gonna find out if they do handstamps so we can leave. They do.
Went out into the mall to find the bonus cred in FunWorks. On the way there was this exhibition about the new Warner Bros. park I missed by a month. They were getting people to pre-book for cheap, so I had a little nose around and got given a WB passport souvenir in which you’re supposed to fill in your details. Good for the collection I guess. FunWorks
#7 Yolo Works then. Bad staff, bad guests, awful ride. A stain on this country. Didn’t take a picture in my disgust. The ride suffers from the same problem as halfpipes in that you don’t want to be facing 90 degrees to a snappy launch mechanism with a shoulder restraint in your face. My colleague didn’t know what to think after sitting this one out and watching the ordeal I went through only for me to then tell him how terrible it was. Why do you ride it if it hurts? Don’t question it.
Had some more food in a food court style area and a bit of a sit down. What time does the park shut? I ask myself. I’ve got 11pm in my head. Looked it up. 8. What’s the time? 7:15. Ah…
Forcing down the rest of a sandwich and half a litre of sprite while powering back through the mall, hope I’m not gonna regret that.
Ferrari World
Flying Aces at night. Oh man this thing came to life. Rides ‘warming up’ is apparently still a thing even when it’s 40°C outside to start with. It did things to me. Things that I’ve not felt before on a coaster. Dangerous things. I grew to love it, character and all. The queue is amazing, but if anything it’s jarringly loud. I wouldn’t want to be stuck queueing in that rocky section with the planes going over. Thankfully they let me run through the fastrack entrance every time, once I got into marathon mode.
The lift hill is just ridiculous. Love those minimalist supports. It has such a great sense of purpose as it pulls you up to the top whether you like it or not. I was just laughing with glee at it and after a few laps it turned into one of those magical moments. Insane first drop and the non-inverting loop is fun, but this is all stuff I’ve seen before. It’s the little things that set it apart. The speed hill chucked in out of nowhere which is killer, then this upward banked corner into an air time hill which throws you dangerously sideways instead of upwards for no good reason. It wasn’t doing that earlier and I’ve never felt a ride do that before, especially with so little holding you in. The stuff dreams are made of.
The snappy twists in the second half, if you’re in the front or back wing seats, are just brutal in the best way and it only got better and better the more I rode it. Fantastic ride.
Fortunately no early start was required for today, so I managed to sleep for 1000 hours as well as find time to slither to a supermarket for supplies.
On the way I encountered this.
I had thought about making time for going in, but parks and sleep were the priorities for now, so settled for a few snaps from the outside. I’ll save it for a non-solo trip.
Time to hit up Dubai Parks & Resorts. They’ve got some odd car parking here, the signs keep conflicting and switching between VIP parking only and ALL parking. It wasn’t just me who was getting confused by this, as by the time i reached the ticket barriers, some people were causing a scene and trying to reverse out of there rather than pay the displayed prices on the booths. I carried on anyway and asked them about ‘normal parking’. It’s still in the same area and costs £4 rather than £20 and just isn’t advertised anywhere for whatever reason.
You don’t get to park in the shade again (sorry car), but you do get to wait in a tent for a little train to take you to the parks. While waiting they give out free water to adults and ice pops to children, then the train proceeds to bypass the VIP section while they stand staring in shock. Great stuff.
The only park open this early is:
Day 2 – Legoland Dubai
Having done what I consider to be too many iterations, I try not to actively seek out these parks any more, but as it was open for 3 hours outside of Motiongate and part of a cheaper deal, it would be rude not to get the creds wouldn’t it.
Actually quite liked the place, mainly because it was completely dead and there’s far worse places to kill a couple of hours.
The central hub of the park is the indoor Miniland, but while everyone got caught up in that, I powered straight outside to the Kingdom area. How predictable.
#1 Dragon
Oh look, one of those Dragon rides again.
Staff were super friendly and excited to see the first customer of the day, rather than hating their life like in most Legolands. Something I noticed both here and in other parks in the country is that the staff are really good with children, which I can’t say I’ve ever particularly noticed in any other place.
Same old dark ride section of the ride, just a little newer looking. Same old ride outside, closer to Malaysia than Germany in smoothness thankfully. Job done.
#2 Dragon’s Apprentice
The other cred had fired up by now, so got that knocked off as well. Again, very friendly for some strange bloke riding a kids coaster at Legoland on his own. No judgment here.
This was my first experience with entire outdoor park sections in this part of the world and I found myself darting between shade spots as quickly as possible. Quite fun really. Might as well tick off the dark rides.
Oh, Lost Kingdom Adventure again. The really, really short one that’s just a circle layout. Played a game of how many different effects can I spot and set off, good little sit down.
Always cautious of these now, after powering into Billund’s expecting it to be a ride and finding out that it was just an aquarium. Submarine Adventure here is a ride, and I think I liked it more than Windsor, mainly due to having a sub to myself. Still feel like it needs a little more spectacle though. When the dramatic music hits and it says “welcome to the city of Atlantis”, there’s just a small lone pyramid with some lego knobs on top. I want some huge epic set to look at. But it’s Legoland.
Well that’s the park done in 40 minutes. Time to chill in Miniland.
Yay Lego pics. These are probably the best parts of all the parks, because they have all their unique builds relevant to the location. I wish the same level of creativity went into the ride lineups.
This was an Eid exhibit where you can build your own lantern for the display.
Stuff vs Burj
Lotte wins of course <3
Burj vs Burj
Got lost in this area for about half an hour. Still not enough time killed. There was a sandwich board up advertising the 4D showtimes. Fine…
Ended up with the obnoxious Nexo Knights film again. Marginally better than having to suffer through the one based on the Lego Movie, but ugh. Best part was the audiences over the top reactions to all the 4D bits. I remember being wowed like that the first time in Disney, age 12. What happened?
Another sandwich board made it clear that I also had time to try the Ninjago puppet stage show.
Ok, I’m intrigued.
This was actually pretty good. It ain’t no Lion King, but it was rather clever and refreshing to me at least.
So there we go, a reasonably happy experience at a Legoland property. Off to the next park.
Maybe next time.
The Riverwalk area between the parks here is really nice, aside from the lack of shade. Kept up the vampire routine and powered swiftly to the park entrance, still a little too early.
There was a small group outside also waiting, and they began doing bag checks early so that we could move forward to the turnstyles. After a short while they stopped this and just let the crowd build up outside, confused, resulting in a rather awkward 15 minutes of either staring down the staff at the turnstyles, or at the guests behind who felt like they were missing out (hopefully the VIPs again).
Motiongate
The call comes in. And we’re off. All that time I’d been having a bit of a tactical think, so super cred mode again, I knew where I was headed.
Straight into the massive Dreamworks building.
Via Toothless of course.
Now is not the time to appreciate this magnificence.
#3 Madagascar Mad Pursuit
They do have locker rules in this park, but they’re free (for an hour at a time) and automated with minimum hassle. So that’s a win. There’s a great queueline for this ride (theme of the day), circus style, that passes through a little runaway cart with lots of imaginative posters on the walls.
Can’t help but think of Kärnan when I see these Gerstlauer Infinity trains now, which makes me fearful in a good way. Something tells me this won’t quite be the same experience.
Pretty much the same turn into a dark ride section and hold before the launch as Velociraptor the previous day. I don’t know my Madagascar, but something is said about the animals and the bad guy and it being time to escape the circus. The train launches through a psychedelic tunnel and into the main darkened ride area. It’s good fun, but you can feel like it’s holding back a little, being aimed at such a family market with the IP. There are hills in the layout that could kill at higher speed, but the ride just doesn’t quite want to that to you.
It also features a few effects that light up as you pass by/through and a brief section into the area outside the ride entrance for guests to get a little off-ride glimpse, in the same vein as Spiderman the previous day. The experience ends on the brake run with an angry bear in the cart, those penguins and a statement along the lines of ‘people in love are never happy’, which made me laugh every time.
Time to make the most of that free locker. In my narrow minded view of getting the creds done, I’m powering off to Dragon Gliders next and BOOM.
#4 Dragon Gliders
I’m taken aback. That’s a bloody spectacular area I’ve just walked into. I wasn’t prepared for this. Found myself just meandering around in amazement for a while, rather than going into the ride. I already love this IP, love the films, and they’ve done it so much justice. The staff guy at the entrance is wearing a themed costume and completely out of character for myself I have to tell him how amazing that is. Ahhhhhh!
The queue is really detailed and atmospheric, with a bit of Gobber action on audio, some posters and drawings teaching you about dragons as well as a selection of animatronics, screens and other effects.
On to the hardware then. I didn’t quite ‘get’ Arthur. It was all a bit something and nothing, like a cool concept but poorly executed, though maybe that’s just IP bias.
I get this, it’s just done right. 90% dark ride and 10% coaster. There’s a fantastic mix beyond physical sets and screens, including some clever projections and story-telling shadows. It has a fresh story, going on a bit of an adventure with Hiccup and Astrid. You stumble upon a mean icy dragon and have a bit of a fight with it, survive, and then return to Berk for a bit of a celebration which is when the ride just opens above the main off-ride entrance plaza again.
This part works so well. There’s so many little easter eggs around inculding the catapult sheep everywhere (21 sheep salute). And then the ending hits, where they’ve captured the relationship between Hiccup and Toothless perfectly in a single animatronic and sound clip. And then Gobber’s voice speaks to you through on-board audio: “Not at all what I expected, look at you… still alive.” Again, made me laugh every time. Perfection.
No time to let that sink in, back out into the sun. There’s more Mack goodness afoot.
#5 Capitol Bullet Train
I was a little confused as to how this was a concept. I don’t like the Hunger Games, so much as respect it. Seen the films once and sort of enjoyed them, but can’t really stand to see them again. So how is a Mack launch coaster going to be a high speed train into the city? A train which in the film they amusingly claim does 200Mph like that’s some mind blowing futuristic achievement. For a train. Have they not been to China?
It doesn’t make sense, but they’ve made a reasonable attempt. The queue is full of boarding procedures and announcements, lots of posh luggage around and a glimpse into one of the trains with posh food inside. By the end of the ride (the brake run) they’ve made it feel more like the city, with a subtle change in architecture and some billboards up.
So what’s in between all that? Got in the back of the train first, with personal recommendation from the staff bloke who said “it’s the best seat: good in the spike.” It is good in the spike. The first warm up launch is rather amusingly slow, as the loop is so close to the launch track and it only goes a quarter of the way through it, but as with the others of this type it’s the backwards one that catches you by surprise. The loop itself is lovely and floaty, there’s a few twists and turns and one really sharp multi-directional airtime hill which is probably the highlight of the ride. I’ve said before that Mack always nail their inversions and the other one in the layout is really good, but then it’s all over a bit quick. Solid fun, but nothing spectacular.
#6 Smurf Village Express
Smurf Village Express came next. I had it in my head that it was a Vekoma Junior (a likely assumption) but definitely thought to myself while riding ‘this seems better somehow.’ Oh yeah, it’s a Gerstlauer. They always nail their family rides.
#7 Green Hornet: High Speed Chase
One more Gerstlauer then and it’s a slightly custom Bobsled thankfully. No more than a one and done though. Not sure what the theme was inside, then it’s just concrete outside.
Sat behind a couple of Indian blokes who after making such a huge fuss about getting on it, rode it with the most amusingly unphased stances. Clearly just a +1 for them as well.
Well that’s all the creds knocked out in 45 minutes again, better go check on my locker.
Went to Kung Fu Panda land from there. Another really, really nice area in the Dreamworks bit. Sadly the ride here was down all day, but could have been worse.
Shrek’s Merry Fairy Tale Journey it is then. Less than 0 expectations for this, cos ugh, Shrek. Absolutely loved it.
It’s just a retelling of the first film, but with the premise of Shrek and Fiona putting on a puppet show to retell the first film to their kids. This is styled really cleverly in a wonderful dark ride that’s packed full of great detail. It has some fancy ‘trackless’ moments with the vehicles splitting off from your neighbouring cars into a 2 lane path. In one of these in particular near the end, I’m not sure if it was just the sudden difference in scale of one of the sets, but the 2 cars end up side by side going into a big church scene that was a real ‘wow’ moment. Then the dragon eats the short bloke (in a hilariously low budget puppet show manner) and the wedding happens, the cars turn round on the spot, and the cardboard cut out guests in the pews change. Great stuff.
Panem Aerial Tour was a bit of a mixed bag. I thought it would be a flying theatre ride for whatever reason. Then once inside it made me start to think it was an immersive tunnel. In the end it was just a simulator in a curved screen. Similar with the story. Thought it was going to be as described in the preshow, just a nice sightseeing flight over the capital and some of the districts. Then there’s a signal breaking through and rebels talking, oh maybe they’re gonna interweave that plot a bit. Then the ride is mostly 90% just that plot, a bit of a high speed flying chase through the city in a sub par simulator and nothing like it promised. Was better in my head I think. Soarin’ over some fictional lands. Would have done the job better.
Positives though – another nicely themed queue with information about all the different districts, and then an actor as one of the nasty security blokes (peacekeepers?) sneaking up on people after the preshow and scaring them silly. Also the sign outside said 30 minutes, I asked if that was because it runs time slots, or from an actual queue. The response was “mmmmmm a bit of both.” It was actually a walk on.
Ghostbusters: Battle for New York was again, rather good. Slightly too high a ratio of screens for the shooting sections, but very nicely themed. Ended a bit abruptly. Didn’t take a picture.
The list just keeps going. Hotel Transylvania. No idea what this was. Absolutely loved it.
Another pseudo-trackless dark ride, the highlight of which is a huge open hallway with tons of crossed pathways and cars everywhere going in all directions between scenes. On the first go I was all alone for this moment and it just filled me with childlike excitement and glee.
Second go was ruined by having a couple of British tourists behind me constantly moaning about how bad it all was. Really?? You don’t know what good is. Can’t take them anywhere…
I normally skip drop towers unless I think they’re of particular interest, but it was so quiet everywhere I thought I might as well have a go on this one. 60 minute queue – 10 times the national average. Nope.
Hung around outside Underworld 4D, wondering whether it was actually open. The show time board was outside, but awkwardly blocking the door, and the exit shop was all boarded up with a sign saying closed. It was open. Yet again, a very nicely themed queueline. Preshow was a bit awkward, standing around watching a screen of clips from the movies(?) and some story about a vampire. The actual experience was rather bizarre. Obviously it’s more dark and graphic than your average 4D show. I liked the beginning with someone getting shot through the head synced with a water effect to the audiences faces, but it never got better than that. The rest is done from a POV perspective of the vampire bloke getting into fights, though the seat movements fell way short of what was going on. Need the Ben10 hardware.
The Smurfs Studios Tour had too many good rides come before it. It was alright. Did the job.
Think that was everything covered bar the rapids, which I had planned to vampire later. With a couple of hours to go until sundown, decided to go chill in the Dreamworks area again.
Had a very nice tofu & noodles dish from the Kung Fu Panda area (my kinda scene). Still a strong showing from the park food around here.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was alright. Couldn’t work out who made it. It had some interesting pacing, moments where it would almost come to a standstill before rushing off again. Not sure if they were planned or not. I got mildly wet, but it wasn’t brutal enough for my taste in water rides. Had possibly the weakest queue of the park too, comprising of just cattlepens and a couple of TV screens.
Dragon Gliders broke down for a bit unfortunately, but then it got dark and I had some night rides on Capitol Bullet Train instead. The former also fixed itself before the end of the day so I managed to finish on that high.
All in all, another great day. Properly impressed with the quality of attractions and overall appearance of this park and the bar has been set even higher now. Watch out IMG.
