If context is necessary, I haven’t been to Thorpe for many years now, since I stopped renewing the annual pass I had because I went to two preview events for The Walking Dead: The Ride with it and yet have still never experienced The Walking Dead: The Ride.
Also the only reason I had the pass was to pop in on a September weekday after nearby work and walk onto something fun like Inferno or Detonator. The last time I did that everything had a 30 minute wait and I just left again. Now I use the internet and it’s like the American Dad bit of old man Steve watching the weather – judging it on behalf of how bad a day everyone else would be having there. 30 minutes for <insert any ride at Thorpe Park here>? No thank you.
Plus parking costs, the faff of getting in, all that, it’s amazing how the tiny little details of logistics can be so offputting just because it’s your local park and you could come back any time, or you could just leave any time and be home in the same time it takes to queue for a ride. Also again shows I’m really not a revisit kinda guy. Any effort at all is only worth it to me if it’s for something new. And then it’s game on!
This was not long after #1 Hyperia got its second train back on track. Arrived about an hour before park opening and strolled through far too much empty security cattle pen to end up queueing between Vortex and a beach for rope drop.
Headed over to the brand new ride. It wasn’t ready due to still being under morning checks, but plenty of people had filled the queue. There goes the smoke budget for the year.
It was stupidly hot, to the point that their new ugly and unshaded land was essentially a risk to human health and some staff managed to scare most people back out of the queue again with varying statements from ‘dont know how long it’s going to be’ to ‘highly recommend you check out some other rides’.
As it was Thorpe Park I had no interest in checking out their other rides, so managed to ignore their advice and camp out in the shade of the queueline shop. It opened not too long after anyway, about an hour after the park, so my ‘wait time’ was ~2 hours all in, not bad considering what it had been for most up until that point.
The main queue is pretty horrible, was thankful to move through its entirety at a walking pace. Reminds me of the Mandrill Mayhem – it’s there, it meanders, it doesn’t seem to have had any further thought put into it. There’s no good focal points for the ride, a lot of cages, a lot of sunburn, fences were already in disrepair because of simple mistakes and people being people. I don’t like the tagline, the theme is offensively weak to the point that it would have been better off without one, the Ride Access Pass Entrance queue was longer than the main one, nullifying its existence, I’m in a bad mood and could go on, but meh.
So, how was the ride? Well god damn.
As we’ve established, it’s Thorpe Park and expectations were low. A 200ft Mack Rides coaster in the UK should have had me all over it but somehow I remained ambivalent to its existence while everyone else had already made up their minds about what it was going to be like based on some mud.
With what it did, it far exceeded those expecations. I didn’t get any special rows but the first drop is rather unhinged in delivery. You don’t get your traditional ejector out of it because things change too much as you go down, but I like that, first drops need a good shake up to still be interesting sometimes.
The positives hit hard and fast at the bottom, I like that, with a lack of any real ‘speed moments’ it needs a way to remind you that this is now the fastest in the country, baby.
What happens next? *checks photo* Erm, some inversion into airtime thing that hits nice and hard, with a sustained pinning to the restraint, I like that. A real moment of yes, UK, this is what airtime is actually like, we’re not playing around.
The more I think about the next element, the more I love it. It’s so out there. Like nothing I’ve ever seen or done before, except in bad planet coaster creations. It shouldn’t exist. It’s hard for the brain to process and I couldn’t even say what forces it brings to the table, I like that.
Then there’s a stall. It’s ok.
Then there’s a trim. It’s a shame.
Then there’s some airtime. It’s ok.
Then there’s some brakes. And the only other photo angle I managed to get. It felt very Lightning Rod (when it was good) to me, minds blown but over before you can think about it. It’s an acquired taste in coaster design for sure. There’s some merit to not naturally fizzling out, but then it doesn’t naturally do so. It artificially does with the trim and ahhhh, it’s eh. A downer for the coaster connoisseur, but loved the crowd reactions it got. Thorpe teens were not ready for this thing.
Not quite a top 25, but not far off. As a piece of hardware this is something special, even if it didn’t manage to walk away with an absolute W. I’m very interested to see already how ‘having done Hyperia’ skews the new UK enthusiasts perspective of foreign rides now, compared to what used to basically be ‘oh THIS is how coasters can be’. We’ve got the taste, but it’s a tease.
Guess I’ve done all the big Macks again now and I remain super excited for where they’re headed. Individual parts of all of these are next level, once again, it’s just about wrapping it up in the neatest of packages now. The best is yet to come, surely.
Obviously I hadn’t done Ghost Train since they fell out with Derren Brown. It opens late so you can get on it pretty easily, unlike anything else in the park right now. Also no one knows what it is any more. I had to explain it to several guests who approached me while standing outside for just a moment. Well, er, it’s a ghost train.
No, I couldn’t help myself, but themed experience with actors? Yeah, we’ll go with that.
If context is necessary, I hated Derren Brown’s themed experience with actors. Narratively it flowed horribly, the VR was complete rubbish, the ‘improvements’ they made only worked once and it was forever tainted with the air of ‘we could have had 6 Gravity Group woodies instead’, or something. You know, home park problems.
I didn’t hate this, but I didn’t care for it either. The preshow wastes time by having a voice tell you the rules, and then the actor repeating those rules, probably because people are people. Your own experience may vary hugely depending on the gravitas of said actor and the rowdiness of the room but it all turns it into a slightly structured Merlin Dungeons-style flow rather than a messy Alton Towers Sub Terra-style flow.
So they’ve bailed on the magic of the train, because that never worked anyway. You get on and the actors kill time by attempting to be creepy for far too long. Some (children) are genuinely scared or playing it up and it’s fine, it just doesn’t do anything for me, I don’t get in that zone.
You get off and stand in another room. Actors writhe about. A couple scares, the human one worked well on the group, the mechanical one was laughable. Back on the train.
I’ve since been told that something may have been wrong with the ride system (other than the fact that they don’t use the fancy bit of it any more anyway) and it was more of the same, actors killing FAR too much time attempting to be creepy, waiting for the lights to go out. Big human scare again that worked well, but then where do you go from here? Oh, the danger isn’t real and you’ve fizzled out like the trim on Hyperia, now we sit and wait in a less scary atmosphere for the train to stop and get off?
The problem is probably me, I’m trying to think of something that’s actually good to compare it to and I can’t. I first need something like this that actually gets me going, like I have in the coaster and dark ride world. This is neither, and I’ve spent far too much time on it already.
Anyway, the rest of the park was looking especially grim. Queues I wouldn’t want to wait in for rides I both would and wouldn’t want to ride. It was a million degrees, Staines was on fire, had a gig to go to in London that evening so called it a day after 3 rides in 3 hours. The Thorpe Park way.
From Voltron to Voltrum, this was new to me. Love a massive Funtime drop tower and this was no exception.
The lack of absolutely anything in the surroundings and the scale of a nearby forest looking so tiny gave me some height-related heebie-jeebies. Rides can still scare me – fantastic.
Up the top of a hill was the new boy and the main draw, #1 FirleFranze. You know you’re onto a winner by name alone sometimes.
What’s in the shed?
A fab little Gerstlauer, that’s what. Theme is simple, there’s a screen of the mascot lion mashing some buttons in hilarious fashion before ‘things go wrong’, runaway train style.
Somewhere along the way, magic happens.
Spot the difference.
Anyway, it’s great. Satisfying ride length, some decent forces for the size and a lovely sense of all out fun. Perfect for a place like this.
I didn’t find this on my previous visit, not that I care for Butterflies. Thought it was kinda cool, and weird, to do one indoors, themed to space. Self-operation is always a joy. Passed on the flippy thing next to it.
This guy is a legend.
This ride type is a legend.
They sure have been busy.
Stadlgaudi 4D is a little revolving theatre, interactive shooter thingy with a cute farmyard theme.
See? Nicely done.
The indoor drop tower Thaolon still has its own merits. It’s only a kiddie bouncy one, but is quirkily themed to spooky goblins and has a cracking soundtrack. Combined with a sense of mystery and a maze of a queue, always worth a shot.
And the OG main event is Freischutz, a legend of a launched X-car.
It also has a maze of a queue, which is a bit of a pain when you’re dying in the hot sun.
Was pretty much how I remember from all those years ago. Surprisingly intense, and a little bumpy. The continuous sequence of inverted top hat, vertical loop and whatever tight corner after provides a really sustained quantity of high positives.
From there it just kinda rattles its way back to the station in an unrefined sense. It’s a shame that it lacks any of the exceptional moments of a Shock, or even a Formule X, but at least it has its own identity, that China copied with weird trains and then didn’t open… ew.
Once was enough, mainly because it was too hot and we had places to be, but this is a pleasant little place with a well rounded lineup, well worth your Euros.
Had a few new coasters to bag in this very functional German park.
I do admire how understated the entrance is and, while lacking any soul whatsoever as a collection of rides in some fields and trees, the place is rather more pleasant in atmosphere than I remember from the previous visit.
A stock layout maurer spinner that’s rough? Check.
On the way to #1 Sky Dragster. I’ve finally caught up with one of these monstrosities. Was here last when it was supposed to have opened, but it was still under construction. Let’s not talk about Desmo Race.
It still looks like it’s under construction, but there was some mild excitement when I saw the pace at which one of the cars hit this hill, though angles can be deceiving as we well know.
It’s actually OK. Less offensive than I thought. Couldn’t quite tell what the controlled aspect was doing, only that the texture of the throttle handle was a little rough in the hand and I bagged a top 3 time for the day, 30 minutes after opening. Woo. It rides weird, but kinda fun. Some light airtime, a bit of speed and some odd laterals. Just seems so over-engineered with those teeth on every inch of track while not really achieving a whole lot other than being a reliability and capacity nightmare.
In typical European fashion, the ‘new for 2024’ coaster that was already printed on the park maps looked like this. Only an SBF as well, can’t be hard can it?
Thankfully there’s another new to me SBF in #2 Flotter Otto.
I think Sky Rider is the best in the park now, with a growing appreciation for rare and janky coasters over the years. It provides a sense of unnerving freedom, and peril, as you hang there, spin around, swing and hit trees. They don’t make ’em like this no more.
They make ’em like this instead. #3 Kids Spin was a thing. This was the last in the park to open because of timeslots. It was a ‘lowen’ (lion) day – cheaper tickets at the cost of limited attraction availability.
Oh and they have a Geisterbahn now. It’s rather good inside, with good music and solid pacing – not obnoxiously loud or fast. The prolonged outdoor sections are a little weird in this setting, likely working better at night, in a fairground environment, but then it would be pay per ride and I probably wouldn’t pay.
Cheers to a +3.
P.S. didn’t realise, though should have expected, the park’s 200ft Gerstlauer project they announced was a joke. What a scam.
Been here before, not much to say, just a whistlestop tour of some old creds and a new B&M.
The little Gerstlauer used to be the best in the park. Potentially still is.
I always thought this was its name though, but no, that’s the Zierer Dragon with Dark Ride section. One thing I noted here is how the big lego dragon isn’t continuous like Windsor – you see two different parts of him, but they aren’t physically connected.
Kinda bothers me that the new land is just plonked unceremoniously behind Egypt. The Windsor Mythica has a bit of a presence to it, but to a visitor of that one, this just felt like a low effort copy and paste of some figures.
As such this lost its striking impact somewhat. Pretty cool entrance on the flying theatre. Now a blue shed for a bad cred.
Oh, I spoilt the review. Well I don’t know how, but they managed to make this less interesting than Mandrill Mayhem. It was such a non-event of a coaster. I can’t even remember it’s name. Oh, #1 Maximus – Der Flug des Wächters.
Uncomfortable inversions and very little else interesting going on. Didn’t seem popular either. Shortest queue, area was dead. I guess it looks kinda cool at the right angle, but deep down I wanted it to kick Chessington’s ass. Shouldn’t have expected that from it also being Merlin, and Legoland.
But hey, +1, and back to having ridden all the B&Ms in Europe, woo.
And they have one of these. Eww.
P.S. didn’t realise German Daddy Pig (Papa Wutz) was a thing now, what a scam.
The other new draw in mainland Europe was of course Mahuka. Feels like it fell a distant third to the Mackness going on this year and isn’t getting enough attention, but that’s part of the appeal of this park. Understated, but brilliant.
#1 Mahuka
Not naming names, but lessons available here on how to make a new ride look good, and complete, even though it had opened a few days prior and there’s still mud under it.
Nice details in the queue.
There was a radio here that would occasionally fire up and play ’90s hits. Character. A sense of fun.
These bag ‘chutes’ were pretty genius.
And those trains look tasty.
So, how was the ride? Loved it.
The trains are tasty. It’s exactly what the single rail needs. Openness, freedom, convenience.
Being multi-launch it’s got a satisfying length to it. A crescendo of sequence.
Full of some weird and wacky stuff, look at that ribbon of a track.
Airtime in places is really good. Bit of a Mosasaurus inspired roll at the end to finish.
All in all it just looks and rides great. I prefer it to the RMCs, which by default puts it in the top 5%. It doesn’t have the extremes of a Railblazer, but I feel like you have to be very forgiving about everything else going on with those rides and solely focus on those extremes. Let us not speak about Jersey Devil.
This hits the spot just right. Comfortable, varied and long while still being a little wild and unpredictable as it can perform manouevres you wouldn’t otherwise expect. It does a bit of everything and it flows so well. From the moment you step into the area really, they run a tight ship considering the capacity. The perfect addition for a park this size, they just keep on nailing it here.
Mystic
This was the last thing they nailed and it holds up. I love Mystic, it’s got such an aura about it. Still a top 3 Gerstlauer.
The guy with the fish laughs at you as you dispatch and it’s all downhil from there. Great sense of intimidation and guest reaction – this is still the bad boy of the park.
And it rides real good, with some killer ejector and even more killer hangtime. Stuff like this just shouldn’t be possibile but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Timber
Timber is great for what it does. A classic showcase of Gravity getting way more than should be possible out of something so small scale.
That said, it does manage to ‘feel’ the shortest of those, but at least it still hits hard and makes it count.
Not sure what they’ve done at the end. Added a trim to the final hill which kills its impact but also provides a hilariously awkward moment of braking which adds to the character and almost balances out the loss.
And that’s the park. They’ve tidied it up real nice, it’s very pleasant just walking around. There’s little else going on, a few +1s, no dark rides (sadly) and their 4D cinema seems to be out of action this season (not so sad). It doesn’t matter though. The quality of the top 3 coasters, including their consistency and variety, makes this one of the standout locations in Europe. They’re enough to keep me happy just bouncing between for a half day, a full day, it doesn’t really matter. You can play it cool at Walibi France. Let’s hope it doesn’t turn into Walibi Holland.
Fire is bad, but getting a new +1 is good. Fresh Mack mine train, rides well. I was glad to not feel obliged to need the VR on this occasion and thereby ruin the visual experience although it’s a shame it don’t go through the diamond cave no more. This statue of the miner mourning the loss of the dragon is such a beautiful touch.
#3 Baa-a-a Express
Last time I was here this was under construction, a little blip of track seen from the observation tower. It was being lovingly run by an old guy, so chill. Retirement goals to work on a ride like this. The sheep sings as you go round, what more could you ask from a +1.
Piccolo Mondo
Don’t remember much of anything about it from before. Don’t remember much more now. Was cute.
Madame Freudenreich’s Curiosites
Don’t remember much of anything about the old dinosaur ride but this genre of ‘add more character to a tired old dark ride’ is something I can definitely get behind.
Gorgeous queue.
And dinosaurs with cake. Perfection.
Abenteueuer Atlantis
I liked working out which targets score more points on the interactive dark ride. Tactics always add to these things. S’alright.
Bench: the Ride
Don’t remember much of anything about it from before. Don’t remember much more now. Was cute.
Euromir
I liked Euromir a lot, save for the fact it bashed my knees up back in the day. Managed to avoid that this time and had a great time on it. Spins less than I remember with the whole controlled rotation aspect, but is probably wise, it goes real hard in that final section and would probably mess people up at any other angle. Great ride with great character. Next one to get a looking at now that Croatia is done though I hear.
Piraten in Batavia
Fire is bad, but getting a dark ride rebuilt is good. Don’t remember much of anything about it from before.
Now it’s amazing, a real standout in the park. In being very comparable to such Disney rides, it’s nice to ride one that isn’t a clone and matches the quality in many ways. Epic scenes, gorgeous scenery, a good time all round.
Snorri Touren
I love how understated some of the entrances are at Europa. With such a breadth of things to do they don’t even need to hammer you over the head with –>MAJOR RIDE HERE<–.
And Snorri is a solid addition to the dark ride lineup. Love the character and the pacing in the first half of the ride but then it does end in a rather jarring and abrupt fashion, which I found a bit odd.
Best thing about the whole thing – his animatronic actually hits the right mushroom drums in time with the soundtrack.
Voletarium
Best thing about the whole thing – the drone in the queue.
It’s fine, it’s a flying theatre. Having one run semi-efficiently without a huge interruption between pre-show storyline and final showdown makes for a nice change but it’s still a faff and then just wafting over some stuff. Was interesting how many European locations I didn’t recognise – I swear they made some of them up.
Donkeys
The park has an excellent donkey game.
There’s even one in the new area, with a hat.
Also love how many parts of the park can simply go unseen. Tell me where this is.
Eurosat
I was extremely worried about what had happened to my beloved Eurosat. Really fell hard for this ride in the past, it was a defining moment of the trip back in the day, an overwhelming emotional rollercoaster hearing the soundtrack in person on the lift, thoughts equivalent to ‘I’m finally out living the dream and visiting these worldwide theme parks’ in the early days of my hobby, perfectly paralelled with the phrase in the soundtrack ‘finally, the time has come’.
Then they said they were making it the Can-Can. It felt like they were turning it into a joke. There’s no way that can work, ride ruined.
And yet, somehow, it works. I expected to despise everything it had become but sitting there on that endless spiral lift hill – wait, what’s this? They’ve kept the old music here, an updated and slowed orchestral version in perfect tribute to what this ride once was. The emotions hit me all again while in the dark, anticipating the inevitable. It’s such a beautiful touch.
Then with all the build up and crescendo of reaching the top and it turning into something wild and fun, the Can-Can music actually works too. A wink from the moon and a bon voyage leads to a frantic carnival of sound with a wild indoor ride that still hauls and still kicks ass in all the ways it shouldn’t be able to given the limitations of its situation. A classic piece of music that doesn’t know how to end, but then neither does the ride, as you drop through a windmill and then there’s just a whole extra floor to go after its already been going on an age.
It ends to epic fanfare, as it should. They’ve made it better, against all odds. I can only applaud.
Only thing I miss is the astronaut stuck in a wall mouthing words we’ll never understand.
Silver Star
I’d heard they killed the fun of this ride too, by canning the cheesy ass song that was its only character anyway.
Don’t remember the queue being quite as unpleasant, but it is. Basically a warehouse with some bad cars in it, and tv adverts for bad cars. But then on our second go, the theme hit on the speakers. It was all we needed. Ride on, Silver Star.
Still one of the better B&M hypers in my books, I had worried how it would stand the test of time (and experience). The old school nature doesn’t lend itself well to that magic row near the front, which works on many of the newer ones but is a bit of a dud here. Instead, back row is best for the unrefined, jankier moments that include ejector out of the midcourse and some uncharacteristically fun twists and turns that so many others fall short on.
Pegasus
Better than a Vekoma Junior, but priced accordingly.
Kassandra
I don’t remember this madhouse being so incomprehensible, but it is. The magic of the swing is a little lost when you don’t know what’s going on in the themed experience, but the magic within the seat itself cannot be denied.
Jim Button
Hadn’t heard of this, and though this park is likely highly researched, it looked like it posed the question ‘is it a dark ride?’
It wasn’t, but this big dragon is great.
Wodan
Still one of the better GCIs in my books, I had worried how it would stand the test of time (and experience). I don’t see it as being quite as epic as it once was, it’s better than ‘the norm’ but far from up there with the greats. What have they done to the start? I remember it being real out of control into that first drop but now it just wobbles around on some asphalt.
Arthur
This went up in my estimation in that it was nothing like how I remembered. The locker faff has been rectified. I remember issues with the screens in that sitting in the back row would miss all the action in a comedic sense, unless I’m confusing it with another ride. There aren’t many though. The soundtrack was funny. It had far more physical sets than I recall. It rode with a little vigor too and thus, wasn’t entirely pointless. I’ll assume they’ve fixed things rather than that I was wrong. Oh, and is that spotlight and camera combo meant to look like a face? Creepy.
Frog game is pretty good too.
Think that’s about it for Europa. Blue Fire was a thing of course, but I’ve ridden like 12 of them since, so really didn’t care. They messed up the onboard soundtrack on my single lap, which is the only thing that makes the original worth doing to me, so that sucked.
Had a lovely 2 days, queues were a little bigger than you’d normally like to get absolutely everything done or spend time on some filler coasters, but shout out to the free fastrack system. If you game it on your phone in the first couple hours it can reward you pretty well, including a walk on Voltron or two.
It’s been 9 long years since I last visited Europa Park. For the sake of a crazy statistic I had 126 creds to my name at the time, meaning there’s been just another 1500-odd in the interim.
I really, really liked the place back then, it was clear that it was a global standout. I had also always looked forward to returning some day but it was always on the preface that they got something worth returning for, to sweeten the deal. The years went by…
I heard they got something. We spent 2 days on park, which was the perfect amount for our own needs and pace.
The primary need was to experience #1 Voltron as much as possible. I avoided whatever spoilers I could and went in knowing as little as possible.
Presentation-wise, I think the whole thing looks excellent. An entrance exterior with that start coming out of the top of it.
A dedicated observation tower built within the layout. Plenty of opportunity to get in, up and under a lot of track for views and photos, while maintaining a little mystery about the back end of the layout. With constant trains buzzing round, on a summers day it’s a coaster lovers dream.
Plus other stuff in the area going on because why not.
The indoor queue brought new hope to my hobby. As I passed through for the first time and absorbed the details in here a crescendo of emotions built to a level of excitement for a new rollercoaster/attraction that I haven’t felt in what seems like quite some time. Far surpassing the simple raw excitement of skipping down some queue in China (that’s actually open) to ride some world’s fastest Mack thing, no, this was an anticipation you can only build with a themed experience. The development of character for a ride. A reason you want to like it, to support it, to back this creation of steel. Standing there in that room for the first time, with those feelings, is exactly why I’m in this game.
The big turret thing that plugs itself into the wall to power up. Mr. Tesla waffling on about who knows what.
Easter egg characters in the return to station screen.
The fact that the shutters close when you see a train enter the preshow, to hide what’s going on. And then the ride theme injected into your eardrums by terrifying tesla coil noises. Awe, intimidation, elation, the lot. This is how you make someone (like me) want to like a coaster.
From a practical standpoint, the locker system is the best I’ve seen yet. Choose your own locker with an RFID card, get on the ride. Don’t worry about remembering the number after an overwhelming experience because it can just tell you at the end. Unlike Wildcat’s Revenge. The throughput, capacity and efficiency with the moving station and just Europa Park being Europa Park in general is beautiful to behold once more.
– – –
Onto the ride experience then. I didn’t know what the trick was, and it’s hilarious. Brilliant for first timers and crowd reactions. I love it, but it loses impact over a few goes, so I kinda hope it remains somewhat unique to this attraction and that not everyone starts doing it, there’s a risk of losing the magic as always. Possibilities are endless though, so mix it up.
Before you’ve fully recovered from that you’re lurched off, and up, and over, and out. Of that start. It’s so unnatural but it’s done so gracefully considering the combination of technology and forces. Looking at it, it shouldn’t feel like it does, but it works, and then you’re suspended in the air for a brief moment for a ‘this is where the fun begins’ into the layout proper.
Frantic, I think is the word for all the elements that go on in between the defined sections, namely a combination of inversions and airtime moments. It’s our bread and butter at this point. It reflects the theme of science experiment gone wrong rather perfectly in this regard, but, critical hat on, I’m going to introduce another word into the fray. Lumpy.
I like and appreciate the individual components of what’s going on in this sequence, but there’s something about the flow. It’s lumpy. I think this is just an inherent issue I personally find with shorter trains and ride vehicles. It reflects back to my experience with the Big Dipper model, and by extension Infinity coasters (both of which I love more than most) and Eurofighters. Regardless of their execution I just can’t see myself sitting in one and thinking ‘this is the best rollercoaster layout in the world’. You can’t create as beautiful a symphony of forces with a ride that’s built for the tightest of manoeuvres. Blame physics.
Anyway there’s a multi launch bit on a curve in there which follows the recent industry trend of ‘adds a little pep, doesn’t take your breath away’ moments into the recent industry trend of the stall. A couple of newer rides have made this their own standout moment (Batman GCE and the Super Boomerang spring to mind), sadly Voltron does not. Surprisingly the most characterful moment for me hits home when you come slamming into the brakes at the end of the first half. It’s pretty brutal. And then you’re on a turntable with lightning and what the hell is this?
I’ve got two ways of looking at this – it’s amazing, clever, fun to behold, did you know it can turn in either direction? I didn’t until a few laps in. Quirky, love it. The other – it leaves a little to be desired in terms of presentation when compared with the station, queue, pre-launch experience. You’re just in a crude circular cage with no roof and a sunbleached graphics display. Doesn’t quite uphold the wonder.
What it does lead to is a wild backwards launch, again another great crowd reaction moment but you can give it your own extra punch with anticipation by putting your arms and legs directly in front of you and getting a wicked ‘fold you over the restraint’ moment. Then you’re forwards again with the most satisfying launch, one which lands closest to those I personally adore with their ‘the fun is far from over yet’ sensation. It’s faffy, but given it isn’t detracting from ‘damn near best thing ever’ status either side of it, I think it works.
The wonky top hat puts me straight back into the ‘lumpy’ mindset however, albeit what follows is an incredible sequence of powerful airtime moments, shouty after shouty, including up into and back out of another mid course. Dizzying inversions and strong positives round out proceedings before one final shout of airtime into the brakes. Ends strong this one.
And I think that review should demonstrate a little why I’m all over the place on Voltron. There’s so much of the experience that I adore to the core, but as a coaster it fell short of perfect in many, many ways. To clarify, the ‘lumpy’ business is nothing to do with ride comfort. I’ve heard riders found discomfort in left wing seats etc. and while there was noticeably a bit more shake there, it didn’t impact my personal ride experience. It is pretty damn intense though, and I don’t doubt that the ‘lumpy’ flow of the layout does exacerbate such feelings.
I’ll stop saying lumpy now, but I will also mention that a few of the inversions lack definition and character. If you’re going for the golden seven, make them count.
Though I went in with lack of spoilers there was a little thought at the back of my mind with the whole 9 years away from Europa Park thing. What a wonderful moment it could have been, having traversed the globe and, by my most recent assessments, ridden basically everything worth riding, to come back to such an early days trip and land a new #1. It was Mack, it was Multi-launch, it was Europa Park. It was possible. It wasn’t to be.
Enough ramblings, it’s the perfect prototype and near perfect showcase. Go ride it if you haven’t already, it needs to be beheld. Technology 11/10. Presentation 9.5/10. Layout 8/10. By all rights it should be threatening my top 20, but I keep talking myself out of it. Maybe. For the feels.
On the way down to (spoilers) Europa Park we decided to get a new country cred. Last time this was considered was back in covid days, when you had to write a letter to the King of Luxembourg in order to be granted special permission to enter. We were tempted at the time, given that they had one of those big Schwarzkopf travelling coasters in town while our own Eurodemption was going down. Postage time may have been an issue though.
First stop was a castle, don’t have those at home.
It was free to park and free to wander around, a common theme for Luxembourg, and my kinda sightseeing.
Is nice.
I was a little confused by the strategy of the location upon approach as it seemed to be rather far downhill to get to it, but it makes more sense from over here, in the rain.
Luxembourg City
My recollection of a Tom Scott video had me thinking that all public transport in Luxembourg was free. Sure enough, it was, so we went to the capital, Luxembourg City, and did a park + ride job to get into the centre. Free and easy, just how public transport should be.
We got off the bus in front of this.
Over the road from this.
And this. Everything is very elevated, and green.
Took a wander through the centre, which is very town-like for a city.
Or even model village-like from out the other side. You can basically walk to all the ‘things to see’.
History, culture.
Excitement? You can spot our next target out towards the back left.
After crossing a busy city road.
And going down a hill.
The great glass elevator in the sky is a tourist attraction here.
Not your average elevator.
Up top there was a piano, with what I believe to just be another visitor riffing some highly impressive piece and making intense but awkward eye contact with everyone else.
It was great. And free.
And that was Luxembourg. We chilled for a bit, had some food, then drove off to a travelling cred in Germany. Would recommend.
Merzig Funfair
Parking anywhere near here was a nightmare because the entire town was undergoing roadworks and the fair itself was on the only car park.
But it was all worth it of course, for three laps of #1 Kuhnos Farm.
Back in Shanghai, we’ve reach the end of the line. There’s one more launch coaster here that’s been eluding me for a while now, I’ve never actually been to the park so it’s lower down the spite scale, but it is getting quite annoying. Landed in the hotel, it was raining, phoned Steel Dolphin, not open of course.
Was only a few months ago that I was in Shanghai, and it was raining, but managed to mop up a couple things on the Eastern side of the stupidly massive city. This time there were a couple of backup options far out to the West that caught my eye. Indoor ones.
Day 15 – Wanda Children’s Park
I’m not exactly sure when this one appeared on the coaster hunter radar, don’t remember spotting it when researching previous visits and didn’t realise Wanda had a foothold in this city, albeit a not very good one.
Inside was a baby spinning coaster that looked rather cute.
But the curse of soft track obstructions strikes again, slightly less decorative this time. Why?
And that’s the park.
Wanda Auto Theme Park
Over a bridge, in an adjacent mall, there’s another one.
And a slightly more interesting one at that.
Mainly because it’s home to this, whatever this is. It’s like a Jinma version of the stupid spike coasters but better capacity and it actually operates. This is what I clocked on the trawl of coast2coaster and immediately thought ‘I want that’.
They had complicated wristband options on the door but you could pay per ride, at the ride, using QR codes which worked. Getting better. I immediately paid for both sides, to the alarm of the staff. The advice of ‘you should try one side first to see if you like it’ fails to consider that liking things isn’t a factor in this game any more.
I did kinda like #1 & #2 Speed Racing anyway, it’s by no means offensive, more a bit something and nothing. It goes real slow along the whole first straight and turn, but gives a decent burst of acceleration along this return stretch with a bit of ducking and diving. The other end is just more slow turns and then it ends though it looks quite cool/weird, there’s a bit of theming like a crashed car in the wall. Biggest gripe is that it doesn’t do anything about the racing aspect. There’s was no indication of victory when we beat a small child on the second side.
They also have this thing, which looked awful.
And a simulator, which looked intriguing, so waited for the appropriate time slot.
Asia-Europe Rally had decent attention to detail, the entrance walls were plastered with newspaper cuttings about all the different characters and vehicles that were going to feature in the film.
Vehicles look quite good and are on carpet. Somehow they rise above the carpet when it’s time for action.
The action was, as proclaimed, a race across the world. Very farfetched, silly and wacky, these old timey cars and caricature characters crossing all sorts of terrain and famous landmarks while constantly trying to foil each other. It started in China and ended in Paris and the main guy won, or was it us. Decent quality anyway, this would have done well at any actual Wanda park that’s lacking a dark or show ride.
Park complete.
Trip complete.
I’ll leave you with this haunting image.
Summary
New creds – 35 New dark rides – 51 New parks – 14 New Fantawilds – 6 Best new coaster – Beyond the Cloud Best new dark ride – Legendary Dunhuang Best new park – Oriental Legend Planes – 3 Trains – 19 Automobiles – 53 Spites – 8/43 (18.6%)
Next stop Nanjing. Been here afewtimes, gradually chipping away at its offerings. I didn’t know what to do with myself this time though, what with the public holiday situation. Had one park in mind, no backup, would just have to suck it up and see I guess.
Day 14 – Huachang Dragon Valley
Bit of a trek into the park from the Didi drop off point. It’s a resort as much as any other theme park is a resort at least, out in the lush green hills beyond the city. Got a water park and stuff.
Main entrance to the amusement park is contained within this building, with a big fancy graphics display, turnstiles, a shop, not much else.
Heading outside again you’re greeted first with this type of view. The big star water ride looks rather awesome offride, but it wasn’t on my radar.
Bypassed all that in an anti-clockwise direction and straight to the star coaster #1 Jungle Dragon. Not to be confused with the Happy Valley GCI that used to be called Jungle Dragon and is now named after an animated plane for kids.
Also known as Abyssus without the multi launch. Also known as a Vekoma Shockwave.
Even though this was the Saturday directly following 3 days of public holiday chaos, miraculously the Chinese theme park scene had returned completely to normal. I walked straight onto a half empty train.
It’s a great ride. I liked Abyssus a fair bit, though it’s hard for it to stand out amongst its lineup. Amongst the lineup on this trip however, Jungle Dragon was a pretty hard hitter. I’m not sure if the faff/start/multi-launch helps Abyssus in any way, all the meat of the layout comes from the main launch onwards before it starts to die a bit at the end. Maybe 3 acts are better than 2, will reconfirm at some point.
What I did know was that it packed a lot more punch than the Hyper Space Warp which didn’t do much for me a few days prior. I actually wanted to reride this, though it was a struggle to ride multiple times on the bounce, 2 weeks into a China trip anyway.
The trimmed top hat is silly, and not in a fun Wrath of Zeus, Toutatis or Batman GCE kinda way, but once you get that out of the way it’s packed with strong positives, solid pops of air time and plenty of twisty. Locals loved it. I did too.
Now that it had been confirmed that timing wasn’t going to be an issue, it was time to mop up the rest. Starting with the duelling family coaster cred(s).
There’s a reasonable chance that visiting one day prior would have bagged both sides of #2 Dragon Race, but under extreme duress. Alas, though it still had maybe a 10-15 minute queue that steadily grew due to a mostly family oriented demographic on park, they were only opting to run a single side because China.
Haven’t come across this layout before anyway, another slight glimmer of hope that Jinma are getting more interesting and creative, but it’s a little short and does nothing. Two more out there apparently, woo.
The park is split into multiple indoor lands aside from the coasters. This was the one with the tree.
It had a 4D cinema about a bee, called 4D Mine Adventure for some reason.
It wasn’t very good.
And a flying theatre by the name of Mystical Tour.
It was a flying theatre.
The indoor area that contains the big boat ride is a lot more impressive, all decked out like this.
Loads of just cavey sections to explore.
Some museum about stuff.
One path lets you see the elevator lift of the boat ride in action. No cred here.
Pretty though.
Haunted walkthrough I assume.
Theme of the next indoor area was space. This meant that they were playing How to Train your Dragon 2 on a big screen…
Dragon Valley I suppose.
Also guns.
Some 4D ball.
But the most interesting attraction was Star Tours the dark ride, not to be confused with Star Tours the simulator.
It’s another 4D motion based car ride from our new friends Playfun. Pretty hefty and extravagant.
Name aside, the other influences are quite clear. We get our spaceship thing repaired by some robots and head out into a huge space battle which looked rather cool. Reminded me of the epic intro to Revenge of the Sith and then had me wishing we had a Star Wars dark ride that did something around that. This is where the fun begins.
We also had Pandora. And Transformers, lots of Transformers.
It had lots of other different things in it too though, was great fun. Movements don’t kick enough ass again, but it’s to be expected for now.
Sadly there was still one more coaster to obtain, I’d been putting off #3 Through the Ring.
There’s no way I would have queued this.
For this. I absolutely hated this. The new revelation that I don’t even care about the upside down any more. Just the horrible, horrible tracking that rattles your brain and gives you a headache.
And then it rained and then I left.
Success I guess, nice enough place. Got some good visuals and a decent headline coaster and dark ride, rest is meh. The quintessential Chinese theme park lineup.
