North America 06/25 – Niagara Falls + Canada’s Wonderland
Our morning started bright, early and full of optimism. Perhaps a little too bright. It was tourism time.
Day 8 – Niagara Falls
Drove swiftly over to the Canadian half of the city, through the border check and took a cruise down the road that runs parallel to the falls, hoping for a decent parking spot.
Even at this hour, it wasn’t to be, so ended up in Clifton Hill next to one of the rides we wanted in a minute and walked back down to the river via some pleasant greenery.
I’d like to say I was equal parts impressed and equal parts underwhelmed by the falls themselves. It’s a nice view and the sheer power is a spectacle, but at the end of the day it’s a tourist trap.
Hey look, a spite in the distance. Bring back Dragon Mountain.
Moving on to better things, there’s a cred up the road, on top of a Burger King. Class.
The attraction consists of the House of Frankenstein and you can also pay for a haunted walkthrough thing. If you pay for just the coaster, there’s still some spooky stairs on the way up.
This spectacle greets you at the top before you’re treated to a couple of laps of poorly profiled but perfunctory #1 Frank’ N Coaster.
There’s also some spooky stairs on the way down and an obnoxiously loud air cannon just to sour the experience so you don’t tell your friends.
Over the road, inside an arcade, is a Sally Rides Ghost Blasters, which is pretty cool. I’m no expert, though I probably should be, but it seemed a bit more custom than usual and was surprisingly good value for money.
Of all the things here, I was most interested to try Carnival Chaos from Triotech.
Their Hyper Ride is basically gaming chairs and a blaster that can spin rather wildly through a building of screens. The theme here is some quite nightmare fuelish clown based horror, but it works pretty well and garnered smiles all round.
We were dying at this point, heading back to the car, and it was only like 10:30. Having hoped that our return to Canada would bring a brief respite to the relentless heatwave that was sapping all of our already limited energy and enthusiasm for the trip, it was in fact worse here. It was stepping up another gear.
A couple of hours later up in Toronto, while enjoying some lunch, the temperature reported by the car hit 38°C and brought on serious questions of do we even want to be doing this any more? Concrete and rides, Canada edition. 17 rollercoasters, in this heat. It barely bore thinking about. But it’s why we’d come. Well no, it’s 2025 so that wasn’t open.
Checked in at the hotel just to die a little more inside and then psych ourselves up for the run of our lives. Here we go.
Canada’s Wonderland
Tick.
Always drink plenty of fluids.
Moving is ok, you can always make a game of it, darting from shade to shade like a vampire. Instant regret hits when you end up in a sweaty unshaded queue for #2 Leviathan and there’s nothing you can do but stand there and burn, wondering why anyone else is putting up with it when they could just come back some other day.
The line moved horribly slowly for a 3 train B&M monster but we soon found ourselves on board.
Last Giga for me and quite comfortably the worst of the B&M ones. It has the speed and the power of course but nothing really in the way of standout moments. Silly trims, some low bits that don’t do much. It’s quite the visual spectacle on board as things of such scale always are, but I find myself wishing more was happening to my body in response.
S’alright.
Next up was #3 Vortex and oh my, good lord, we were not ready for it. With the snooze fest that is Iron Dragon as my last point of reference for old Arrow Suspendeds, a leisurely lift hill up the mountainside and a scoff at a sign that said it hits speeds of 60Mph, it god damn did.
Absolutely wild and terrifying as it just builds and builds momentum, swinging ever higher and more viciously from side to side while also being perfectly refined and never rough, this thing is an absolute animal and one to be cherished. We hit the brakes at like 135° to flat and were lost for words, before being returned to the grim reality of the operations and proceeding to sit there for another 5 minutes.
Spoilers, but top 3 in the park.
Rides were having issues and we ended up covering far more ground than necessary in our pursuit, combining awkward assessments of what actually matters to us here, what’s nearby, what has a manageable queue and what’s actually open. Yukon Striker was not.
So we ended up on #4 Behemoth, the other big priority, at this point in time reading a queue board sign confirming it was still 38°C, but it feels like 42°C. Thanks.
I really liked this ride, our experiences on it smashed both Lev and all other stadium seating hypers. While those range from embarassingly sluggish to Shambhala, this brought copious amounts of succulent B&M float and crunch.
The other key feature is that it has a layout that performs. You don’t hit the midcourse and the ride is over, you blast through it and into a powerful helix that adds a great variety of forces to the overall package before bringing it back to that satisfying airtime finish.
Yay for Behemoth.
Time to get down and dirty with the clones. #5 Backlot Stunt Coaster set complete, it was unpleasant and precisely none of the effects worked.
The Mighty Canadian Spinebuster was reported down for the evening, but Yukon reopened right in front of our faces. We powered in before it could regain a queue, past a sea of people arguing with ride staff about loose articles. Like outside the Mummy. Oh how I wish it was the Mummy.
The lack of attention meant that we started climbing some stairs and then got shouted at for going the wrong way. There was an unchained rope at the base of the stairs so I decided I should put it back for them.
Anyway it was walk on and, it happened. Much like Iron Menace I wasn’t outright offended by #6 Yukon Striker. It rode ok, had a bit of force here and there but is far too large and lumbering to be sprightly about it and far too cookie cutter to be exciting when you’ve done them all.
Looks nice?
From here, both Wonder Mountain’s Guardian and the wild mouse were down, so headed to like the 5th most exciting coaster on park.
Which is #7 Snoopy’s Racing Railway. Except I spited myself by not researching and was horrified to discover in person that it’s just a clone of Fridolino without the charm.
Though the little scene in the shed was a nice touch.
Snoopy’s got creds for days, so while here we also ticked off #8 Ghoster Coaster, a small woodie that got stopped on the lift hill to shout about someone having their phone out apparently.
Not as good as the Kings D and/or Kings I one, I can’t remember which. Maybe both, maybe Carowinds.
Also #9 Taxi Jam, an easy top 10 in the park.
And #10 Silver Streak. Remember when Vekoma couldn’t make anything good, even family coasters? Yeah these still exist.
#11 Thunder Run was a welcome respite from the sun, standard Mack powered affair in the mountain that manages to bring the good times in bad situations.
Then things got real dirty.
Best thing about #12 Dragon Fyre is the statue out front. Soon as we hit the weird straight I knew it was just Canadian Big Loop, and then the regret kicked in.
We rode Lev one more time just to break up the bad. Bit more magical in the dying light, but not what I wanted it to be.
Best thing about #13 Wildebeast is the statue out front. A combination of sticking to your sweaty seat and being bashed to the bone. It was pretty brutal, needs work, but as the mid-sized woodie here it doesn’t need to exist. Stop building single rails and RMC this or something, I’m worried about you.
I believe the #14 Bat earned the title of best Boomerang of the trip. But it’s still a Boomerang.
Then the mouse was back, or rather, the #15 Fly. No review required.
And finally finishing the run on #16 Flight Deck. Absolute filth.
Our reward for landing everything that was available (15/17 coasters) in about 5 hours, in 40 degrees, was two closing laps on Behemoth, which were relatively glorious.
It also tied for my most creds in a day streak and I’m happy about that. As ever with these mega parks I’m not sure I want to beat 6 French parks and an Andorran mountain in such simple circumstances.