North America 06/25 – La Ronde
Oh dear.
Haven’t heard many good things about La Ronde over the years, but you know me, I like to be on the ground, don’t judge ’til you’ve been.
It’s bad.
Day 4 – La Ronde
Apologies for the lack of photos in this one. I only took a few out of a combination of defiance, lack of time and lack of care.
To start with, it’s a pain to get in by car due to its weird location on an island in a river. An island that isn’t just La Ronde, in fact they seem to try and act like it doesn’t exist (I wonder why), but also has some grass and trees or something.
A severe lack of either signage or useful signage, security cars blocking the way, plus convoluted routes meant crossing the massive bridge over the island more than once and getting stuck in ugly city traffic for 20 mins. There’s a weird sketchy pay & display car park under the bridge that the road system might try and land you in, but we of course wanted the less obvious actual sketchy car park under the bridge, with our six flags passes, which were about to be put to the test.
For context, rather than baseless descriptors, on this particular day someone decided to crash into someone else within this car park and then start a fight about it, to the point that security had to intervene.
The walk to the entrance was a bit grim, while we witnessed a plethora of buses dropping off a sea of kids in front of us. I didn’t get a picture of the entrance, for the reasons stated above, but also because it was just a faded sign kinda blocked by security huts, miles of wasted cattlepen and people queue-jumping us to get in the park.
Thankfully security checks themselves weren’t an issue, nor were the season passes, and we entered to a weird statue thing that’s just inside, with many more armed security already on patrol. First impressions are everything.
Didn’t really have a plan for the day, because didn’t really care and figured we had 9 hours for 9 creds. Even if it’s bad, easy.
It’s bad.
So ended up on the Batman clone, #1 Vampire first, in a grim ass queue that could have been much grimmer as it continued to swell horrifically behind us. There’s just not much to it. A shed, grass and some fence. Chuck that clone in. Glacial one train operations didn’t help the situation, but was at least policy throughout the park for consistency.
Highlight of the experience was a random family appearing from seemingly out of nowhere, into the queue, from the ride area. I guess signs really don’t mean anything in Montreal.
Oh, the ride. Rode pretty intense, one of the better one of these for me. But meh. Took an hour.
That was in a dead end, so this poor man’s wild mouse #2 Toboggan Nordique was next. Potentially Zamperla’s best of the trip though. Took 90 mins.
Two sides to the #3 Monstre, sadly. Hated everything about it. Highlight of the experience is some hilarity in the queue saying that it won some king of the coasters award amongst the six flags parks in the 2000s, against the likes of El Toro and X2. Right.
The wait was excruciating of course, made worse by being queue jumped as the air gates opened, by some kids. They ran through another set of gates and dived into our seats before our very eyes. We were already through also, so stood there in dismay while the gates closed behind us, no seats left, to see what would be done about it.
Restraint checking staff member came down and we explained the situation. They asked the kids to move, they refused. Then some woman at the air gates started arguing for the kids, I failed to pick up the context as it seemed so bizarre. If they were related then this arrangement meant their group would no longer be riding together. If they weren’t, then who the hell was she?
Anyway, clearly authority isn’t necessary when operating heavy machinery, so we were asked if we would mind waiting for the next train. Well yes, but you’re not going to do anything about it are you. Upon passing back through the gates, one waiting guest tried to lighten the mood by asking if we wanted the front. We were already tactically in a seat of minimum force for self preservation, so we politely declined. Which also meant he may have been trying to kill us, but we’ll assume not, what a champ.
Oh, the ride. Rode absolutely awful, rattled my brain throughout and gave me a headache, has a dumbass layout that wouldn’t be good anyway. Oh and it doesn’t duel/race because it will only destroy itself quicker (please do). They couldn’t even open both sides in the same year. Took over 90 mins.
Thus we walked away with no real intention of enYoying the other side.
Boomerang was closed, because it’s 2025, meaning it just had a refurb, opened, and then closed again.
Then Goliath got stuck on the lift hill. No biggie.
#4 Marche du Mille-pattes had the physically shortest queue on park and was probably one of the most interesting rides left. Highlight of the experience was the three drops of rain that fell on us during an unyieldingly disgustingly hot day. It was ruined, of course, by being queue jumped several times by kids, then the batcher being terrible and letting too many people into the station, such that our group had to be split and then forced to sit with children, rather than sending said children back through the gate… we’ve had it both ways now.
Anyway, the kid I was with clearly agreed this was BS, as the car design of the Arrow mini-mine train (set complete) meant that sharing with him had my leg at a painfully contorted angle, and then pinned to oblivion by the restraint so all forces of the ride were taken through said leg. Isn’t that going to be uncomfortable, he asked? Yes, I replied.
Yes it is. Took over half an hour.
We were now over halfway through the operating day, under halfway through the coasters and thoroughly hating our existence, so decided to sack off any other creds and prioritise Goliath. The lift stop had cleared, but it had not returned to operation.
So one more coaster with the slightest bit of intrigue, an indoor Intamin which could have been a la Skull Mountain.
It wasn’t, #5 Dragon was boring and unremarkable, and the wait was artificially lengthened by a school teacher helping a large number of kids jump the queue. Took over an hour.
Crunch time came at what was now under 3 hours left:
We could queue 90 mins for an SLC or we could queue 90 mins for the other side of Monstre.
Either of which could then mean that Goliath reopens while we’re suffering and hit 90 mins again itself. Both of which would end the day.
Or we wait outside Goliath and grab that walk on lap if they fix it. Plus, if we don’t get the only coaster of any value here, we’ll be coming back anyway, so creds are moot. What a game we play.
So we whiled away the rest of our evening at La Ronde in some shade, sitting and watching some engineers potter back and forth pushing buttons to no effect, then jumping in a buggy to retrieve some spare sensors, to no effect. Probably the highlight of the visit.
As it reached under an hour until close, it became rather apparent that it wasn’t going to happen. Security came to replace ride staff at the entrance, so we headed out a little early in at least the hope that we’d beat the leaving rush. It didn’t reopen the following day either.
Still took over half an hour to get off the island, with a bunch of poor, rude drivers, and that was with me skipping at least half of the queue going down the wrong way out of the car park. Because it wasn’t signposted.
Thus, we left La Ronde, Montreal and Canada that night with only one image in mind.
Which is the second time I’ve got use that out here, yay.
What else is there to say? 5 creds, 5 photos, 9 hours. Easy contender for the worst major park visit in the world. Previously for me I think that was Mirabilandia, but they at least have a couple of rides of slight interest, that I was at least able to ride. So congrats to them.
Advice for mitigation I guess – plan your route in photographically with as many resources as you can. Once in, ride the only thing worth riding (the B&M hyper) immediately, then consider leaving.
Better yet, don’t go. You don’t need that Six Flags day.