We had another whole day planned for the park either due to expectations of either great or terrible things, so headed back the following morning to see what we could make of it.
Day 9 – Canada’s Wonderland (again)
This began with a rope drop start to #1 Wonder Mountain’s Guardian as it wasn’t available the night before.
Had a bit of an expectation for this as it was half ‘dark ride’ and has a drop track. It was trash. The coaster does nothing, half the screens were broken and when they did show something it was very poor quality. The drop track was probably the weakest of any coaster I can recall. Great concept, terrible execution. Bring back Zola 7.
Mighty Canadian Spinebuster had the same sign up as the previous day (it reopened a few days after we left, all new and reworked), so that was park complete.
It’s amazing what disgusting weather and lack of care can do to a park as Wonder Mountain’s Guardian was the only thing we rode that day. Did a lap of the place to take all the photos I used for the night before and found that pretty much every ride had a worse queue than we had suffered previously, and that Behemoth was broken.
So, after like an hour, we left.
Overall it was pretty much what I expected from the park really, lack of Alpenfury aside, and it kinda makes sense that I subconsciously dragged my feet in getting there. Concrete and rides, Canada edition. The average quality of coaster is pretty low and their standouts aren’t much to write home about either on a global scale. Above average B&M hyper? We’ve got much better parks in Europe for that. Weather wasn’t the parks fault, but they could put more effort into handling it better. Operations were pretty poor across the board and it suffers from not having anything to do but coasters. Except flats, but the one of those we wanted was broken both days too.
Just another tick in the box, except it hasn’t been ticked because we immediately need to go back… 0/2 for Canada.
Our morning started bright, early and full of optimism. Perhaps a little too bright. It was tourism time.
Day 8 – Niagara Falls
Drove swiftly over to the Canadian half of the city, through the border check and took a cruise down the road that runs parallel to the falls, hoping for a decent parking spot.
Even at this hour, it wasn’t to be, so ended up in Clifton Hill next to one of the rides we wanted in a minute and walked back down to the river via some pleasant greenery.
I’d like to say I was equal parts impressed and equal parts underwhelmed by the falls themselves. It’s a nice view and the sheer power is a spectacle, but at the end of the day it’s a tourist trap.
Hey look, a spite in the distance. Bring back Dragon Mountain.
Clifton Hill Amusements
Moving on to better things, there’s a coaster up the road, on top of a Burger King. Class.
The attraction consists of the House of Frankenstein and you can also pay for a haunted walkthrough thing. If you pay for just the coaster, there’s still some spooky stairs on the way up.
This spectacle greets you at the top before you’re treated to a couple of laps of poorly profiled but perfunctory #1 Frank’ N Coaster.
There’s also some spooky stairs on the way down and an obnoxiously loud air cannon just to sour the experience so you don’t tell your friends.
Over the road, inside an arcade, is a Sally Rides Ghost Blasters, which is pretty cool. I’m no expert, though I probably should be, but it seemed a bit more custom than usual and was surprisingly good value for money.
Of all the things here, I was most interested to try Carnival Chaos from Triotech.
Their Hyper Ride is basically gaming chairs and a blaster that can spin rather wildly through a building of screens. The theme here is some quite nightmare fuelish clown based horror, but it works pretty well and garnered smiles all round.
We were dying at this point, heading back to the car, and it was only like 10:30. Having hoped that our return to Canada would bring a brief respite to the relentless heatwave that was sapping all of our already limited energy and enthusiasm for the trip, it was in fact worse here. It was stepping up another gear.
A couple of hours later up in Toronto, while enjoying some lunch, the temperature reported by the car hit 38°C and brought on serious questions of do we even want to be doing this any more? Concrete and rides, Canada edition. 17 rollercoasters, in this heat. It barely bore thinking about. But it’s why we’d come. Well no, it’s 2025 so that wasn’t open.
Checked in at the hotel just to die a little more inside and then psych ourselves up for the run of our lives. Here we go.
Canada’s Wonderland
Tick.
Always drink plenty of fluids.
Moving is ok, you can always make a game of it, darting from shade to shade like a vampire. Instant regret hits when you end up in a sweaty unshaded queue for #2 Leviathan and there’s nothing you can do but stand there and burn, wondering why anyone else is putting up with it when they could just come back some other day.
The line moved horribly slowly for a 3 train B&M monster but we soon found ourselves on board. Last Giga for me and quite comfortably the worst of the B&M ones. It has the speed and the power of course but nothing really in the way of standout moments. Silly trims, some low bits that don’t do much. It’s quite the visual spectacle on board as things of such scale always are, but I find myself wishing more was happening to my body in response.
S’alright.
Next up was #3 Vortex and oh my, good lord, we were not ready for it. With the snooze fest that is Iron Dragon as my last point of reference for old Arrow Suspendeds, a leisurely lift hill up the mountainside and a scoff at a sign that said it hits speeds of 60Mph, it god damn did.
Absolutely wild and terrifying as it just builds and builds momentum, swinging ever higher and more viciously from side to side while also being perfectly refined and never rough, this thing is an absolute animal and one to be cherished. We hit the brakes at like 135° to flat and were lost for words, before being returned to the grim reality of the operations and proceeding to sit there for another 5 minutes.
Spoilers, but top 3 in the park.
Rides were having issues and we ended up covering far more ground than necessary in our pursuit, combining awkward assessments of what actually matters to us here, what’s nearby, what has a manageable queue and what’s actually open. Yukon Striker was not.
So we ended up on #4 Behemoth, the other big priority, at this point in time reading a queue board sign confirming it was still 38°C, but it feels like 42°C. Thanks.
I really liked this ride, our experiences on it smashed both Lev and all other stadium seating hypers. While those range from embarassingly sluggish to Shambhala, this brought copious amounts of succulent B&M float and crunch.
The other key feature is that it has a layout that performs. You don’t hit the midcourse and the ride is over, you blast through it and into a powerful helix that adds a great variety of forces to the overall package before bringing it back to that satisfying airtime finish. Yay for Behemoth.
Time to get down and dirty with the clones. #5 Backlot Stunt Coaster set complete, it was unpleasant and precisely none of the effects worked.
The Mighty Canadian Spinebuster was reported down for the evening, but Yukon reopened right in front of our faces. We powered in before it could regain a queue, past a sea of people arguing with ride staff about loose articles. Like outside the Mummy. Oh how I wish it was the Mummy.
The lack of attention meant that we started climbing some stairs and then got shouted at for going the wrong way. There was an unchained rope at the base of the stairs so I decided I should put it back for them.
Anyway it was walk on and, it happened. Much like Iron Menace I wasn’t outright offended by #6 Yukon Striker. It rode ok, had a bit of force here and there but is far too large and lumbering to be sprightly about it and far too cookie cutter to be exciting when you’ve done them all.
Looks nice?
From here, both Wonder Mountain’s Guardian and the wild mouse were down, so headed to like the 5th most exciting coaster on park.
Which is #7 Snoopy’s Racing Railway. Except I spited myself by not researching and was horrified to discover in person that it’s just a clone of Fridolino without the charm.
Though the little scene in the shed was a nice touch.
Snoopy’s got creds for days, so while here we also ticked off #8 Ghoster Coaster, a small woodie that got stopped on the lift hill to shout about someone having their phone out apparently.
Not as good as the Kings D and/or Kings I one, I can’t remember which. Maybe both, maybe Carowinds.
Also #9 Taxi Jam, an easy top 10 in the park.
And #10 Silver Streak. Remember when Vekoma couldn’t make anything good, even family coasters? Yeah these still exist.
#11 Thunder Run was a welcome respite from the sun, standard Mack powered affair in the mountain that manages to bring the good times in bad situations.
Then things got real dirty.
Best thing about #12 Dragon Fyre is the statue out front. Soon as we hit the weird straight I knew it was just Canadian Big Loop, and then the regret kicked in.
We rode Lev one more time just to break up the bad. Bit more magical in the dying light, but not what I wanted it to be.
Best thing about #13 Wildebeast is the statue out front. A combination of sticking to your sweaty seat and being bashed to the bone. It was pretty brutal, needs work, but as the mid-sized woodie here it doesn’t need to exist. Stop building single rails and RMC this or something, I’m worried about you.
I believe the #14 Bat earned the title of best Boomerang of the trip. But it’s still a Boomerang.
Then the mouse was back, or rather, the #15 Fly. No review required.
And finally finishing the run on #16 Flight Deck. Absolute filth.
Our reward for landing everything that was available (15/17 coasters) in about 5 hours, in 40 degrees, was two closing laps on Behemoth, which were relatively glorious. It also tied for my most creds in a day streak and I’m happy about that. As ever with these mega parks I’m not sure I want to beat 6 French parks and an Andorran mountain in such simple circumstances.
Haven’t heard many good things about La Ronde over the years, but you know me, I like to be on the ground, don’t judge ’til you’ve been.
It’s bad.
Day 4 – La Ronde
Apologies for the lack of photos in this one. I only took a few out of a combination of defiance, lack of time and lack of care.
To start with, it’s a pain to get in by car due to its weird location on an island in a river. An island that isn’t just La Ronde, in fact they seem to try and act like it doesn’t exist (I wonder why), but also has some grass and trees or something.
A severe lack of either signage or useful signage, security cars blocking the way, plus convoluted routes meant crossing the massive bridge over the island more than once and getting stuck in ugly city traffic for 20 mins. There’s a weird sketchy pay & display car park under the bridge that the road system might try and land you in, but we of course wanted the less obvious actual sketchy car park under the bridge, with our six flags passes, which were about to be put to the test.
For context, rather than baseless descriptors, on this particular day someone decided to crash into someone else within this car park and then start a fight about it, to the point that security had to intervene.
The walk to the entrance was a bit grim, while we witnessed a plethora of buses dropping off a sea of kids in front of us. I didn’t get a picture of the entrance, for the reasons stated above, but also because it was just a faded sign kinda blocked by security huts, miles of wasted cattlepen and people queue-jumping us to get in the park.
Thankfully security checks themselves weren’t an issue, nor were the season passes, and we entered to a weird statue thing that’s just inside, with many more armed security already on patrol. First impressions are everything.
Didn’t really have a plan for the day, because didn’t really care and figured we had 9 hours for 9 creds. Even if it’s bad, easy.
It’s bad.
So ended up on the Batman clone, #1 Vampire first, in a grim ass queue that could have been much grimmer as it continued to swell horrifically behind us. There’s just not much to it. A shed, grass and some fence. Chuck that clone in. Glacial one train operations didn’t help the situation, but was at least policy throughout the park for consistency.
Highlight of the experience was a random family appearing from seemingly out of nowhere, into the queue, from the ride area. I guess signs really don’t mean anything in Montreal.
Oh, the ride. Rode pretty intense, one of the better one of these for me. But meh. Took an hour.
That was in a dead end, so this poor man’s wild mouse #2 Toboggan Nordique was next. Potentially Zamperla’s best of the trip though. Took 90 mins.
Two sides to the #3 Monstre, sadly. Hated everything about it. Highlight of the experience is some hilarity in the queue saying that it won some king of the coasters award amongst the six flags parks in the 2000s, against the likes of El Toro and X2. Right.
The wait was excruciating of course, made worse by being queue jumped as the air gates opened, by some kids. They ran through another set of gates and dived into our seats before our very eyes. We were already through also, so stood there in dismay while the gates closed behind us, no seats left, to see what would be done about it.
Restraint checking staff member came down and we explained the situation. They asked the kids to move, they refused. Then some woman at the air gates started arguing for the kids, I failed to pick up the context as it seemed so bizarre. If they were related then this arrangement meant their group would no longer be riding together. If they weren’t, then who the hell was she?
Anyway, clearly authority isn’t necessary when operating heavy machinery, so we were asked if we would mind waiting for the next train. Well yes, but you’re not going to do anything about it are you. Upon passing back through the gates, one waiting guest tried to lighten the mood by asking if we wanted the front. We were already tactically in a seat of minimum force for self preservation, so we politely declined. Which also meant he may have been trying to kill us, but we’ll assume not, what a champ.
Oh, the ride. Rode absolutely awful, rattled my brain throughout and gave me a headache, has a dumbass layout that wouldn’t be good anyway. Oh and it doesn’t duel/race because it will only destroy itself quicker (please do). They couldn’t even open both sides in the same year. Took over 90 mins.
Thus we walked away with no real intention of enYoying the other side.
Boomerang was closed, because it’s 2025, meaning it just had a refurb, opened, and then closed again.
Then Goliath got stuck on the lift hill. No biggie.
#4 Marche du Mille-pattes had the physically shortest queue on park and was probably one of the most interesting rides left. Highlight of the experience was the three drops of rain that fell on us during an unyieldingly disgustingly hot day. It was ruined, of course, by being queue jumped several times by kids, then the batcher being terrible and letting too many people into the station, such that our group had to be split and then forced to sit with children, rather than sending said children back through the gate… we’ve had it both ways now.
Anyway, the kid I was with clearly agreed this was BS, as the car design of the Arrow mini-mine train (set complete) meant that sharing with him had my leg at a painfully contorted angle, and then pinned to oblivion by the restraint so all forces of the ride were taken through said leg. Isn’t that going to be uncomfortable, he asked? Yes, I replied.
Yes it is. Took over half an hour.
We were now over halfway through the operating day, under halfway through the coasters and thoroughly hating our existence, so decided to sack off any other creds and prioritise Goliath. The lift stop had cleared, but it had not returned to operation.
So one more coaster with the slightest bit of intrigue, an indoor Intamin which could have been a la Skull Mountain.
It wasn’t, #5 Dragon was boring and unremarkable, and the wait was artificially lengthened by a school teacher helping a large number of kids jump the queue. Took over an hour.
Crunch time came at what was now under 3 hours left:
We could queue 90 mins for an SLC or we could queue 90 mins for the other side of Monstre. Either of which could then mean that Goliath reopens while we’re suffering and hit 90 mins again itself. Both of which would end the day.
Or we wait outside Goliath and grab that walk on lap if they fix it. Plus, if we don’t get the only coaster of any value here, we’ll be coming back anyway, so creds are moot. What a game we play.
So we whiled away the rest of our evening at La Ronde in some shade, sitting and watching some engineers potter back and forth pushing buttons to no effect, then jumping in a buggy to retrieve some spare sensors, to no effect. Probably the highlight of the visit.
As it reached under an hour until close, it became rather apparent that it wasn’t going to happen. Security came to replace ride staff at the entrance, so we headed out a little early in at least the hope that we’d beat the leaving rush. It didn’t reopen the following day either.
Still took over half an hour to get off the island, with a bunch of poor, rude drivers, and that was with me skipping at least half of the queue going down the wrong way out of the car park. Because it wasn’t signposted.
Thus, we left La Ronde, Montreal and Canada that night with only one image in mind.
Which is the second time I’ve got use that out here, yay.
What else is there to say? 5 creds, 5 photos, 9 hours. Easy contender for the worst major park visit in the world. Previously for me I think that was Mirabilandia, but they at least have a couple of rides of slight interest, that I was at least able to ride. So congrats to them.
Advice for mitigation I guess – plan your route in photographically with as many resources as you can. Once in, ride the only thing worth riding (the B&M hyper) immediately, then consider leaving.
Better yet, don’t go. You don’t need that Six Flags day.
